It's been a few days and I've gotten about ... 0 reviews done. Been busy with real life crap, modding, while writing this show, SmackDown, and more importantly, WrestleMania. I'll start with KOM's Raw Recap before going down the line.
As for WrestleMania, I've gotten 10 of the 12 matches done and it's well ahead of schedule.
Onto the actual show that I'm posting. The FINAL Raw before WrestleMania. Don't know if this is my best Raw (that's up for you all to decide) but it is my favorite.
RAW; March 26th 2007; Edison, New Jersey:
Inside, the ring is already set up for Carlito’s Cabana, with palm trees, hammocks, cocoanuts, a couple of lawn chairs and a couple of microphones on the chairs.
***Cool*** The crowd delivers a great pop as the Intercontinental Champion Carlito makes his way onto the stage, dressed in all white Caribbean wear, title slung over his shoulder, apple in hand.
There he is! One of the best young athletes that this business has to offer and that Intercontinental Title belt on his shoulder proves it.
This should be one hell of a Carlito’s Cabana. JBL is gonna be his guest and that can only mean one thing, J.R.; Explosion.
Carlito walks down the ramp, before climbing the steel steps and stepping into the ring, and grabbing one of the mics.
Welcome everybody … to Carlito’s Cabana.
Six days … just six days remain until the biggest show of the year - the biggest show of all-time, WrestleMania 23.
I know all of you people are looking forward to it, but Carlito’s is also looking forward to it. Y’see, Carlito hasn’t had a lot of success at WrestleMania.
Carly shakes his head.
At WrestleMania 21 two years ago, Carlito found himself in a confrontation with the legendary Rowdy Roddy Piper.
Pop for Roddy.
At WrestleMania 22 last year, that big idiot, Chris Masters, cost Carlito the World Tag Team Championship.
But this year’s gonna be different. This year, there won’t be anything unexpected. This year, Carlito won’t have to carry 275 pounds of crap against two monsters. No. This year at WrestleMania, Carlito has one goal, and one goal only, and that’s to successfully defend my Intercontinental Championship and leave WrestleMania 23 turning my bad luck around.
But to do that, Carlito needs to beat his guest here tonight. Some may call him a loud mouth, some may call him arrogant, some may call him … an asshole.
But Carlito would say … you’re right (a few laughs)
. Ladies and gentlemen, my guest tonight, and my opponent for WrestleMania 23, John Bradshaw Layfield, J - B - L.
***Longhorn*** Thunderous heat fills the arena as the bull horned white limousine of JBL pulls through the side entrance. Layfield soon steps out, dressed in a suit and white hat, before he Texas Two-Steps his way to the ring. He climbs the steps and enters the ring, grabbing a mic.
JBL, welcome to Carlito’s Cabana.
John Bradshaw Layfield:
Believe me, the pleasure is all yours.
Crowd boos as Carlito looks none too impressed and JBL lets out his toothy grin.
John Bradshaw Layfield:
Come on, Carlito, liven up! In just six days, this ride is all over for you!
Carlito looks perplexed.
John Bradshaw Layfield:
You should be more than happy. In just six days, you won’t have to worry about wrestlers chasing after you and demanding title shots. You won’t have to worry about doing a whole bunch of promotional appearances, or flying on overseas tours, or adoring fans, or Vince McMahon demanding more of you than he does of everyone else, because that (points to the belt)
the Intercontinental Championship is the root of it all.
Bradshaw adjusts his hat.
John Bradshaw Layfield:
That title, one of the most prestigious belts in all of the WWE, held by greats like Pat Patterson (mild pop)
, Ricky Steamboat (pop)
, Bret Hart (pop)
, the “Macho Man” Randy Savage (pop)
, Shawn Michaels (mixed reaction)
, and The Rock (tremendous pop)
; but make no mistake about it, I’ve done it all. I’m the longest reigning WWE Champion in the last ten years, a multiple time tag team champion, a United States Champion, a European Champion, a Hardcore Champion, but I WANT THAT Intercontinental Title!
Crowd boos as both Carlito and JBL stare at the belt.
John Bradshaw Layfield:
That Intercontinental Championship represents something; it represents excellence. But more importantly than that, it represents superiority to the rest of your peers … and the mere fact that somebody like you could possibly be considered superior to somebody like me is a complete JOKE!
Crowd boos as JBL stares intensely into Carly’s eyes.
John Bradshaw Layfield:
That championship belongs around the waist of greats, around the best on the planet not some young, frilly-haired, punk kid, who spits apples, dresses like a Baywatch extra and talks about what’s cool and what’s not cool and doesn’t deserve to carry my jockstrap let alone hold a championship that makes him superior to me!!
The crowd erupts into a plethora of cheers as JBL’s eyes bug out.
I’ve had enough of you talking crap, like Carlito doesn’t deserve to be in the same ring with somebody like you.
John Bradshaw Layfield:
Well, I do. You say you’ve won it all, well Carlito has been doing things that it’s taken you forever to do. On my first night, I won the United States Championship, something it took you years and years to do.
OH! JBL shakes his head in disgust.
My first night on Monday Night Raw, I won the Intercontinental Championship, something you still haven’t done … and you still won’t win it this Sunday at WrestleMania 23.
Cheers as the frown on Bradshaw’s face turns into a smile.
John Bradshaw Layfield:
I got news for ya, kid, that makes you lucky. I don’t get by on luck. I get by on being better than everybody else and you’re going to find that out this Sunday night on pay-per-view, when I beat you within an inch of your life, beat you from pillar to post, expose you to the world for the completely fabricated fraud that you are. I show the world that eventually, everybody’s luck runs out and that’s when it’s better to be good - better to be GREAT than be lucky.
Layfield reaches out and touches the belt before Carlito snatches it away, causing another toothy grin from JBL to appear.
John Bradshaw Layfield:
I guarantee you -- if you need me to say it louder, slower or get a translator, let me know, because this part is important -- I GUA - RAN - TEE you that I will be leaving Ford Field as the NEW Intercontinental Champion, and you will be flat on your BACK, with my FOOT on your chest, letting the entire world know that the one and only WRESTLING GAWD once again reigns supreme here in the WWE. See you Sunday … champ.
Layfield turns around to leave the ring but Carlito grabs him by his arms and JBL slowly turns around.
John Bradshaw Layfield:
What is it? You need that translator? You need me to say it en Espanol?
Carlito grabs JBL’s mic and tosses it out of the ring to a HUGE pop; Layfield looks ready to snap.
You’ve done enough talking for one night. I’ll tell you this much, Bradshaw. You can look at my hair and my clothes and listen to my accent, and you can call me a joke, but the fact is, I take what I do in this ring very seriously.
Carlito and JBL stare into the eyes of one another for a quick second, before Carly brings the mic back up.
Carlito knows what you’ve done in this ring before. Carlito knows you’ve been a WWE and United States Champion. Carlito knows you’ve beaten the top stars in this business. And Carlito knows you’re right when you say luck doesn’t matter this Sunday … but neither does what you’ve done in the past.
Layfield stares at Carlito and mouths “Oh really” as the Intercontinental Champion continues to look right into his eyes.
You’re not gonna be in that ring with anybody else except me … and Carlito doesn’t plan to roll over and give you this championship because you want it. I’m gonna fight with each and every bone in my body to make sure that WrestleMania night turns out differently for me. I’m gonna fight to keep you a ZERO time Intercontinental Champion. Carlito will make sure you’re flat on your back … but I won’t be putting my foot on your chest, I’ll be spitting this apple in your face.
Thunderous pop as Bradshaw seethes with anger.
And that won’t be luck. Dat … das cool.
The crowd erupts into another great pop as Carlito’s music hits once more and the two superstars stare at one another, intensity and determination running through their faces.
What a show we have for you tonight, ladies and gentlemen. A WrestleMania level main event with WrestleMania implications. The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels takes on The Rated R Superstar Edge here tonight.
That’s gonna be huge and we’ll be hearing from Shawn Michaels here tonight about that match, his super kick to Edge last week, and the WrestleMania Three Way Dance.
That will be interesting. Also tonight, Kurt Angle will be coming out here to address the New Jersey crowd and he’ll have Rattlesnake on the brain.
I can’t wait for that, and in addition to that, we have a huge eight man tag team match and the number one contender for the Women’s Championship, Victoria, in action tonight.
Stay tuned, ladies and gentlemen, monstrous show for you here tonight. But up next, SMACKDOWN!’S Tag Team Champions will be here in action on Monday Night Raw, in a cross promotional showcase match!
Match #1: Inter-Promotional Tag Team Match:
The Hooligans - London & Kendrick vs. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch
The match acts as a bit of a showcase for the SmackDown! Tag Team Champions, exposing these young stars to a wider audience, though this match is far from a squash. The Hooligans dominate the early portion of the match until The Redneck Wrecking Crew makes their comeback through heel tactics and take over for a decent portion. Eventually, L&K manage to finish the match off, each man hitting a high-flying maneuver from the top, Kendrick with a 450 and London with a Shooting Star Press, before London picks up the pinfall on Cade.
Winners: The Hooligans via pinfall at 7:01.
The Hooligans get back up to their feet and are soon handed their belts, each man taking a turnbuckle, receiving a nice ovation as Ross puts over the youth, speed, and devil may care style of this tandem as only he can.
Cut backstage with the stunningly beautiful and stunningly ditsy interview Maria standing by.
Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time … “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels!
HBK comes into screenshot receiving a thunderous mixed reaction, smirk on his face, dawned to compete, T-shirt and cowboy hat on as well.
Shawn, last week, you and Edge were helping each other … But then you super kicked him! Um, why would you do that?
That’s a very good question, Maria, and let me commend you on the fact that you managed to string a whole sentence together without giggling.
Michaels shakes his head in disbelief a bit before turning back towards the camera.
Hmmmmmm, why did I hit Edge with Sweet Chin Music?
Michaels taps his finger on his chin.
Well, let’s take a second to run down the possibilities, shall we?
It’s possible that I decided to lay Edge out because I wanted to send a message since we’re OH SO close to WrestleMania 23. (Turning to Maria)
Could that be it?
That could be it! Is it?!
It’s a possibility. Let’s look at prospect number two. Maybe I dimmed Edge’s lights because I wanted to give myself a an edge - no pun intended - and get inside his head before WrestleMania.
Is it that one?!
It very well could be. The third and final option, maybe I’m just a pompous jerk who did it because I can.
THAT’S DEFINITELY IT!
The crowd laughs as Michaels stares at Maria, shaking his head, before turning back.
It doesn’t matter which reason you think it is, I could
Superkick Edge, I wanted to Superkick Edge, it made sense to Superkick “The Rated R Superstar”, so that’s exactly what I did. When it comes to the most prestigious prize in this industry, the WWE Championship, there isn’t a line that the “Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels won’t cross to get it.
And if I’ve gotta step on a few toes, snap a few necks, lose my fans, lose some respect … if I’ve got to do all of that to leave WrestleMania 23 with the WWE Championship, then so be it!! Come Sunday, thousands of fans watching in the sold out Ford Field, millions watching worldwide, HBK, The Showstopper, The Headliner, The Main Event, The Icon, MISTER WRESTLEMANIA will put on the show of a lifetime and leave that arena a six-time World Champion!
And there is absolutely nobody who can tell me different.
Michaels smirks before walking off camera, leaving Maria to look on.
Backstage, several of the Raw divas including Trish Stratus sit around the locker room chatting, before the Women’s Champion Mickie James comes in, with her bubbly demeanor, rather large gift-wrapped package in her hands.
Hey, guys, what’s going on!
The divas give half-hearted hellos to the dominant Women’s Champion.
Trish, I just wanted to give you and the rest of you ladies this (extends package, which Trish hesitantly accepts)
. It’s a fruit basket!
… … … Thanks, I guess.
Yeah, it’s got all kinds of stuff - apples, oranges, kiwis, plums, bananas, the whole works.
… Yeah, thanks.
Trish walks over to her locker and places the basket there before attempting to go back to her conversation. Mickie seems rather flustered that her gift didn’t get the desired results. She soon recomposes herself, walking back over to Trish.
Y’know, Trish, WrestleMania 23 is coming up … and that means it’s been about a full year since I beat you for the Women’s Championship.
Yeah, I know.
I just wanted to … apologize for any misunderstandings or disagreements that we may have had leading up to that match.
Trish Stratus: (Scoffs)
Yeah, y’know, title matches can get intense and -
Mickie, you kissed me against my wishes, abducted a friend of mine, kicked me in the head, attacked me numerous times, took the Women’s Championship, stole my look, stole my music, and you wanna call that a “misunderstanding”? A “disagreement”?
Does this mean we can’t be friends?
Mickie, you and I both know you’re here for one reason and one reason only. Well, let me let you in on a little secret. I’m not gonna help you in your match against Victoria at WrestleMania, NOBODY here is gonna help you in your match against Victoria at WrestleMania, so I suggest you take your sad act on the road elsewhere or get ready to face Victoria on your own.
Mickie shakes her head in disbelief.
Trish, how can you even suggest that I would attempt to manipulate you for my own benefit? That’s nothing like me.
Mickie … we’re not buying it.
Mickie’s “genuine” look soon turns into an angry scowl.
Fine, you bitches can have it your way.
Mickie turns to leave as Trish reaches down and grabs the basket.
Mickie. (The Mick turns around)
You can take this too.
Stratus holds the basket out for Mickie and James angrily snatches it, before heading out of the room, mission failed, and once more, looking at facing the incredible Victoria one on one at WrestleMania. Back to ringside.
Match #2: Tag Team Match:
The Big Show & Umaga (w/AAE & Heyman) vs. Jobbers
Simple squash match for the two dominant monsters heading into the WrestleMania Monsters Collide Match. Show and Umaga completely destroy the jobbers (creative name, rit?). They soon hit their respective finishers, Chokeslam and Samoan Spike, before picking up the victory.
Winners: Big Show and Umaga via pinfall at 3:34.
The bell rings and Estrada grabs himself a microphone, before both he and Heyman climb the ring steps and step into the ring.
Todos, eschuchame, everybody listen - haha - to me. In case ju haven’t heard MY NAME ES Armandoooooo Alejandroooooo Estrrrrrrada!!!
And by my calculations, we are only six days away from WrestleMania 23(pop)
. I need ju all to take a look at the two men behind me, two of the most dominant forces in the history of this business, the five-hundred pound Big Show, and the Saaaaaaamoan Bulldozer, UUUUUUMAGA!!
Heat as Umaga and Show look on as scary as always.
Last week on Monday Night Raw, Stephanie McMahon and those two big SmackDown! DUMMIES had the nerve to come after these two monsters and try to send a message! Let me -- como se dice -- inform you SmackDown! chumps of something. Ju come to Monday Night Raw, ju messing with the big boys on their own turf! Dats something dats not only disrespectful, but plain ole stupid, because ju two putos need to remember … payback is a bitch! Haha!
Estrada glares at the hard camera through his glasses while Heyman, Show and Umaga do the same as we fade.
Backstage, Mickie James walks down the backstage hallway, carrying a peeled orange, eating it rather forcefully and angrily. She soon stops as she sees a couple of scrawny looking wrestlers (apparently here for a tryout or something). Both men hover around 5’10”, 180 pounds. Mickie tosses the orange and puts on her beaming smile, walking towards the skinny gentlemen.
A video package begins to play…
It opens with a weird whirring sound as Randy Orton stands in the ring, performing his Destiny pose … before Burn In My Light hits.
Jim Ross: When you’re talking about Randy Orton, you think cocky, conceited and arrogant…
Several shots of Orton’s trademark smirk.
Jim Ross: But you’re also talking about one of the finest athletes that this business has to offer.
Shot of Orton delivering his picture perfect dropkick to many a man.
Randy Orton: I pride myself … on being a Legend Killer.
Orton dropping Rob Van Dam, Booker T, Mick Foley, Shawn Michaels, Ric Flair, Triple H and The Undertaker with the RKO!
Randy Orton: Third generation superstar.
Shot of his father and grandfather before him.
Randy Orton: The longest reigning Intercontinental Champion in the past seven years.
Quick footage of Orton’s VERY impressive Intercontinental Championship run during most of 2004.
Randy Orton: The youngest World Heavyweight Champion of ALL-TIME!
Orton defeating Chris Benoit clean in the middle of the ring at SummerSlam 2004.
Jim Ross: Tonight isn’t about past accomplishments, tonight isn’t about looks, tonight isn’t about being The Legend Killer, or The Rattlesnake, or The Rated R Superstar, or HBK, or The Phenom, or The Wrestling God. Tonight is about proving you’re the very best wrestler in the world today - the WWE Champion.
Footage of the Six-Man WWE Title Elimination Match at New Year’s Revolution with Edge defending against Orton, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Shawn Michaels, John Bradshaw Layfield, and The Undertaker.
Jim Ross: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?!?
The match comes down to Orton and Edge and Edge’s Rated R Army turns on Edge, joining up with Orton, allowing him to become the WWE Champion.
Jim Ross: Vicious.
Orton and company beating and bloodying Edge and putting him out of action at the same pay-per-view.
Jim Ross: Cold.
Orton dropping Lita with the RKO!
Jim Ross: Calculating.
Shot of Orton watching, just waiting to drop someone with an RKO through his cold blue eyes.
Jim Ross: He is the WWE Champion, symbolizing that he is the absolute best wrestler in the free world today - by hook or crook.
Orton defeating Michaels at the Royal Rumble, with a hook of the ropes, and grabbing Michaels’ tights.
Jim Ross: No good, lousy, son of a bitch!
Orton distracting Edge, allowing The Rated R Superstar to be eliminated from the Royal Rumble Match.
Randy Orton: All I have to do … is go out there and show Shawn Michaels and show Edge, and show each and every single fan in that arena …
Shot of Orton, hitting several of his signature maneuvers, including the cross body block, his modified backbreaker and the Texas Cloverleaf he has begun to use for months now.
Randy Orton: … show them why I will be walking into WrestleMania as the champion …
One more shot of Orton dropping both Edge and Michaels on different occasions with the RKO.
Randy Orton: … and why you can bet your ass that I’ll be leaving with this championship.
Orton raises the WWE Championship into the air.
Randy Orton: TAKE A LOOK AT GREATNESS!!!
Video ends with Orton under his pyro shower, WWE Championship around his waist before a WrestleMania 23 graphic appears on the screen, hyping the Three Way Dance between Orton, Edge and Michaels.
Back to ringside.
Victoria vs. Melina
Decent women’s match, with Melina getting a sufficient amount of offense by using a couple of underhanded maneuvers. Ultimately though, the skill and strength of Victoria is too much for the evil diva, as Vickie runs through her with clotheslines, a well placed moonsault, and then finishes Melina off with the Widow’s Peak for the pin.
Winner: Victoria via pinfall at 5:25.
***Obsession*** The attention of Victoria turns towards the entrance ramp as the Women’s Champion Mickie James steps out onto the stage, accompanied by those two gentlemen she met in the backstage area.
Mickie and the two male wrestlers circle the ring, but Victoria holds her ground. Mickie leaps up onto the apron and Vickie moves forward, taking a swing, but Mickie quickly leaps off as the wrestlers slide in the ring. The two men grab a hold of Victoria, keeping her still as Mickie reenters the ring.
Mickie swings the title belt but Vickie gets her feet up into Mickie’s face, knocking the champion out of the ring! Victoria then muscles free of the two wrestlers kicking one in the gut and then following up with a scintillating kick to the side of the head, which makes a sick thud, as it knocks him down!
Victoria then grabs the other and kicks him in the gut before sticking him between her legs. Mickie gets back up to her feet and watches in disbelief, as does Ross, Lawler and the viewing public as Victoria muscles him up and HITS THE WIDOW’S PEAK, showing her incredible power!!!
The crowd pops as Victoria gets back up to a vertical base, looking as crazed as ever, while Mickie clutches her Women’s Championship, pure, unadulterated fear running through her face.
- King Booker and his new stable of Elijah Burke and Monty Brown lay waste to William Regal, Finlay and Bobby Lashley 9 days before the four way U.S. Title Match.
- John Cena says he will call The Undertaker out next week.
- Batista and Flair manage to defeat Kennedy and Sabin when Flair makes Sabin tap.
***Medal*** The crowd erupts into heat as The Wrestling Machine Kurt Angle steps out onto the stage, dressed in a blue dress shirt and slacks. Angle takes a look around the arena before continuing on down to the ring.
In just six days, that man, the Olympic Gold Medal winning Kurt Angle, will be in the ring going one-on-one with “The Texas Rattlesnake” Stone Cold Steve Austin in a match up of epic proportions.
Last week, Austin and Kurt gave us a little taste in that tag team match and, man, was it explosive! It’s going to be doubly such come WrestleMania 23 in Ford Field.
Angle steps in and calls for a microphone, soon getting one from Lillian Garcia. A “You Suck” chant starts up but Angle waits for them to die down.
As most of you may know, at WrestleMania 23 in just six days-
***Glass Shatters*** The crowd first responds with shock, but soon turns into a tremendous pop as Stone Cold Steve Austin storms to the ring, in his usual shirt and cutoff jeans, cutting off Angle. Kurt looks rather shocked as well as SCSA steps in and gets his own microphone before stopping and looking at Angle.
I figured since I saw you coming out here, that you would be out here to talk about Stone Cold Steve Austin and WrestleMania 23. So I thought to myself, why not come out here and let you say everything you want to say, to my face.
The crowd cheers as Angle looks unimpressed.
So go ahead, Kurt. Get whatever you need to get off of your chest.
You really think this is cute, you really think this is funny, don’t you?
I got news for you, Austin. What I do each and every time I step in to this ring, what I do to the very best in the world, is definitely no joke, it’s surely not cute, and it’s certainly not funny.
The best wrestlers on this planet have stepped into this ring with me - The Rock, Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Ric Flair, The Undertaker, Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benoit, Hulk Hogan, The Big Show, Kane, John Cena, Batista - the upper echelon of the sport, and they’ve left with broken bones, they’ve left with injured ribs, but more importantly than that, they’ve left with bruised egos, and less than impressive credibility after stepping into the ring with me.
Austin and Angle continue to look into the other’s eyes.
Think about that, Austin. THE BEST have taken on Kurt Angle, and they’ve left with a big, fat “L” in the record books because of it. There was a time that you would fit that description … there was a time when me beating you in the middle of that ring would’ve been a big deal because you were the BEST. There was a time that making you tap out again - something that NO ONE has been able to besides ME - would’ve been something to brag about.
Kurt scoffs before shaking his head.
Now, it’s almost something be ashamed of. It’s something to look down upon; beating up a broken down, washed up, fat, out of shape, drunk, old man.
Let’s be honest, that’s all it really is. Right, Austin?? Beating you is no feat, beating you is certainly no accolade … but that doesn’t mean I won’t revel in doing it six days from tonight at WrestleMania 23.
An “Austin” chant cuts Angle off, stopping him for a bit but the two superstars don’t take their eyes off one another - not even a little bit. Angle waits for the chants to die down before continuing.
Oh believe me, I’m going to enjoy each and every last second of it. Watching you gasp for air, watching you scream for agony as I pick you apart piece by piece, listening to you BEG and PLEAD for me not to end your career on the grandest stage of them all … right before I snap your ankle into two separate pieces. I’m gonna do more than enjoy that. I’m gonna bask in that feeling. I welcome it with more than open arms; knowing that this whole thing wasn’t just because I wanted to, but because it was absolutely necessary.
I’m gonna love WrestleMania 23 as much as you should embrace it. The end of an era - the Austin Era - but the beginning of a new one, a better one. The end is near, Austin … the end is HERE, Austin. Get ready.
The crowd boos as Angle looks at The Rattlesnake almost in a trance. The two finally break eyes as Austin takes himself a walk around the ring, before meeting Angle right back in the middle.
You almost had me, Kurt. I almost believed that you believed all that crap that was coming out of your mouth.
Still in denial, Austin. GIVE IT UP! You’re done! You’re finished! You’re washed up! I-
Austin takes his hand and puts it on Angle’s mic, receiving a great pop. Stone Cold then talks in a low, raspy tone.
The next time you interrupt me, I’m gonna take this microphone and stick it up your ass.
Huge ovation as Angle glares angrily at Austin.
If you believed half the crap you said, that would mean that you would have forgotten the Royal Rumble, where I dropped you on your ass. If you believed what you said, that would mean you forgot No Way Out, where you ran like your ass was on fire away from Stone Cold Steve Austin. If you believed any of the complete BULLSHIT --
-- If you believed any of it, that would mean that you forgot last week right here on Monday Night Raw, where Stone Cold Steve Austin had your ass beat right in the center of this ring before you decided to get yourself disqualified. So don’t tell me you believe that crap, because you ain’t got amnesia, you ain’t drawing a blank, so that tells me you’re talking out of your ass!
Another tremendous pop for Austin as The Rattlesnake stares at Angle, who seems to be getting more frustrated - called on his bullshit.
Stone Cold Steve Austin knows you’re not nearly as dumb as you look, son, so you know that come WrestleMania 23, you’re in for the fight of your life because you’re getting the very best that Steve Austin has to offer.
Yeah, I’m older. Yeah, I’m slower. And oh hell yeah, my body’s more worn down than it’s ever been but the fact still remains the same; come hell or high water, bad neck or bad back, Stone Cold Steve Austin is rolling into Ford Field as the same damn son of a bitch that put on a war with Bret “The Hitman” Hart ten years ago at WrestleMania 13!
Huge pop as Angle wipes his mouth, looking around.
Stone Cold Steve Austin is the same son of a bitch that gave The Rock three of the most vicious battles that this business has ever seen at a WrestleMania. The same Stone Cold that beat Scott Hall and Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania. The same Stone Cold that put several whoopins on your ass a couple of years ago. The same Stone Cold that took this business, flipped it upside down on it’s head, and in this ring, rose more hell than ever seen before!!
Great pop as Angle shakes his head - trying to convince Austin he’s not impressed - or maybe trying to convince himself .
So don’t tell me you think I’m washed up, because you ain’t that stupid, you ain’t that naïve and if you are, you’re in for the biggest shock, and biggest ass whooping of a lifetime at WrestleMania 23 … AND THAT’S THE BOTTOM LIIIINE -- CAUSE STONE COLD SAID SO!!!
The crowd roars and continue to grow louder, as Austin has worked them up into a frenzy. Angle and Austin have another stare down before Stone Cold backs up, puts his mic down and calls for a couple of beers. They’re soon tossed to him and he slowly opens both of them up, before handing one over to Angle.
Kurt looks rather unimpressed … but soon takes it as Austin bends down and grabs his mic off of the canvas.
You and I don’t see eye to eye, not by a long shot - mainly because you’re a jackass (pop)
… but here’s to WrestleMania 23.
Angle looks pissed, but his face soon softens and he nods a bit.
Austin and Angle both begin to drink their beers to a nice pop …
… BUT ANGLE SOON TAKES A SWING WITH THE CAN - HOWEVER AUSTIN IS READY FOR IT - DUCK, KICK, STONE COLD STUNNER!!! New Jersey cheers wildly as Austin’s music hits once more and Austin gets right into Angle’s face, trash-talking the unconscious Olympic Gold Medalist.
Austin then calls for a couple of more beers, soon getting them and climbing the turnbuckle. Stone Cold slams them together and downs them, receiving another humongous ovation from the sold out crowd before raising one can up to the WrestleMania 23 sign.
A video package begins to play …
Metalingus plays as we get a shot of Edge in the rain, standing, motionless, boiling with anger.
Jim Ross: One of the best superstars to come around in a long time, Edge has changed from a man with complete confidence to an abyss of hatred and anger, looking for revenge.
Clips of Edge in 2001 and 2002, truly making a name for himself, defeating the likes of Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero and others, increasing in notoriety, and winning several titles, including the Intercontinental, United States, and even a Tag Team Title with Hulk Hogan.
Michael Cole: Look at all these Edge Heads in this arena tonight here, Tazz, you’ve gotta love him.
Edge suffers a huge neck injury in early 2003 and subsequently, is forced to sit out for over a year, missing WrestleMania 19 AND WrestleMania 20.
A quick clip of the Edge Returns promo which aired at WMXX plays.
Jim Ross: EDGE IS BACK!!!
Edge comes back in 2004 and manages to string together a strong year, picking up a couple of big wins before defeating Randy Orton for the Intercontinental Championship at Vengeance.
Jim Ross: From the top to the bottom and back again! We’ve got ourselves a new Intercontinental Champion!
Edge turns heel in late 2004 and rolls right into 2005, defeating Shawn Michaels, Chris Benoit and winning the Money In The Bank Ladder Match at WrestleMania 21!!
Jim Ross: Edge is Mr. Money In The Bank and now has a WWE Title opportunity any time in the upcoming year.
Clips of the Edge-Matt Hardy feud throughout 2005, where The Rated R Superstar joins up with Lita. Edge and Hardy have several brutal wars through the year from a No Holds Barred Match to a Cage Match but it finally ends in a Loser Leaves Raw Ladder Match, which sees Edge win. Afterward…
Vince McMahon: This night is not over … this man is cashing in his Money in the Bank Ladder Match … ladies and gentlemen, EDGE!
Edge defeats a bloody and worn out John Cena at New Years Revolution 2006, and captures his first WWE Title.
Jim Ross: The Rated R Era is upon us.
Shot of Edge raising his championship with Lita by his side.
Narrator: The following superstar has been Rated R for sex and violence.
Edge and Lita have a Live Sex Celebration; Edge and “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair have a brutal Tables, Ladders, and Chairs Match on Raw, with The Rated R Superstar retaining.
Edge: The highest rated WWE Champion of the last five years.
Though Edge loses the championship, The Rated R Superstar beats Mick Foley at WrestleMania 22, before regaining the WWE Championship, defeating John Cena and Rob Van Dam on Raw.
Edge: You guys should be sick of being held back, being held down, while guys like Triple H and Shawn Michaels take the pay-per-view paydays, main events and hog the spotlight!
Edge puts his Rated R Army together, first recruiting Chris Masters, then Johnny Nitro (and the soon defunct Shelton Benjamin) and then down the line adds Ken Doane and Joey Mercury.
Edge: I put this group together to make things easier for everybody here, not to be a damn babysitter.
Edge and Lita manage to keep the VERY young and immature group through all of their crap and drama.
Edge: The most dominant group in the history of this industry.
The Rated R Army begins to flounder as Edge finds unparalleled success, eventually winning his brutal feud with Shawn Michaels, picking a couple of huge wins over The Undertaker, and winning a third championship, while his popularity begins to shift, getting on the good side of the fans.
Randy Orton: (Talking to Rated R Army) You’ve got to ask yourselves who’s Edge looking out for, him…
Edge hits the Spear on Undertaker.
Randy Orton: … or you?
The Rated R Army loses to Michaels’ team at Survivor Series.
Randy Orton: Think about it.
At New Years Revolution, The Rated R Army turns on Edge, allowing Randy Orton to capture the WWE Championship. Edge’s former group then lay waste to him, beating him, bloodying him as Lita watches sadly.
Lita: Randy, Edge is gonna make your Royal Rumble night a living hell!
Though he returns at the Royal Rumble, Edge still fails to gain any measure of revenge against Orton; being eliminated from the RR, watching his girlfriend RKO’d and on top of it, soon suffers a bit of Sweet Chin Music at the hands of Shawn Michaels last week.
Edge: … … … MY Championship, MY Rated R Army, MY blood, MY #1 contender’s match, (through gritted teeth) TRIED TO BREAK MY GIRLFRIEND’S DAMN NECK WITH AN RKO!!! … Orton … is MINE!!
Back to the clip of Edge in the rain, looking incredibly pissed.
Jim Ross: Edge is gonna have to decide whether he wants the WWE Title back or revenge…
Edge holds boils with anger, before turning away from the camera and heading off into the darkness.
Back to ringside.
Match #4: Eight Man Tag Team Match:
RVD, Sabu & AMW (w/Alfonso and Gail) vs. Doane, Masters & MNM (w/Melina)
Melina is in clear pain as the four men put on a great match up with every superstar giving it their all, looking to impress before WrestleMania 23. All eight men get a sufficient amount of time in the ring, with Doane and Van Dam carrying the majority of the time for their teams, being portrayed as the Raw frontrunners for the Money in the Bank Ladder Match in just six days.
At the eight minute mark, the hot tag is made to both Sabu and The Masterpiece respectively. Sabu comes in on fire, taking down Masters with a couple of clotheslines, and then rocking each MNM member with hard shots on the apron. He ducks a clothesline from Masters and then leaps off the ropes, hits the Air Sabu and goes for the cover but Doane, Mercury and Nitro all break it up.
All hell breaks loose and Storm and Harris enter the ring, evening things up. Despite the numbers advantage, the faces clear the ring, leaving Sabu and Masters in the ring with Van Dam on the apron. Sabu hit’s a body slam on Masters and tags to RVD, who ascends the turnbuckle. Sabu runs over to the far corner and climbs the turnbuckle as well. The two ECW alumnus get set on top as Fonzie blows his whistle like mad man. Van Dam and Sabu then leap off, HITTING A COMBO LEG DROP - FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH ON MASTERS!!! The crowd roars as Van Dam covers The Masterpiece for the three count!!
Winners: Rob Van Dam, Sabu and America’s Most Wanted.
AMW and MNM continue to brawl around the ringside area, until they reach the ramp way and then the two teams brawl up the entrance ramp and into the backstage area out of sight, Melina and Gail Kim following.
At ringside, Doane grabs a steel chair and slides into the ring. He takes a swing at Van Dam, but RVD ducks it, leaps up and HITS THE VAN DAMINATOR!!! Doane hit’s the canvas and rolls to the outside in pain, as Sabu lifts Masters up and tosses him over the top rope, near the announce table.
Van Dam also leaves the ring and the ECW alumnus clear the announce table of all the crap as Ross and Lawler scurry out of the way. Sabu and Fonzie lifts Masters up and place him on the table, as RVD reaches under the ring and pulls out … A LADDER!!!!
The crowd cheers as Van Dam sets up the ladder, across from the announce table. Sabu points to the sky and begins to ascend the ladder as Van Dam grabs the chair from in the ring. Sabu gets set up on the last rung from the top and is soon handed the chair from Van Dam!!
Fonzie goes ape shit with the whistle before SABU LEAPS OFF THE LADDER AND HITS AN ARABIAN FACEBUSTER ON MASTERS WITH THE CHAIR THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!!!
Thunderous “Holy Shit” chants ring out as Van Dam and Fonzie check up on Sabu while Ross puts over the death defying nature of that move before putting over RVD and Sabu especially in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match.
Back from the break, we get a replay of the attack on Masters before the commercial break. Back in real time, Masters is carted off on a stretcher (merely for precaution) in the backstage area as Jonathan Coachman, several superstars, including the rest of the RKO Army look on.
Orton shakes his head.
Can you believe this?
The rest of the RKO Army apparently feel much of the same sad sentiment.
Now who’s gonna back me up at WrestleMania??
Orton then angrily takes off down the hallway and while Melina and Joey Mercury look disappointed in Orton’s behavior; Ken Doane and Johnny Nitro on the other hand look disgusted with the WWE Champion.
Back to ringside.
What an attack we saw on Chris Masters before the break. Rob Van Dam and Sabu making one hell of a statement six days away from WrestleMania 23.
Randy Orton doesn’t have time to worry about things like that. He’s got to defend his WWE Championship in less than a week!
Music begins to play.
Ladies and gentlemen, you hear the music in the background … Ladies and Gentlemen by Saliva, and that is the official WrestleMania 23 theme song. And what a night it’ll be in Ford Field this Sunday on pay per view.
It’s the biggest night in sports-entertainment. FIVE main events, three inter-promotional matches, four matches from Monday Night Raw, five matches from Friday Night SmackDown. I can’t wait!
But a one night before that will be the WWE 2007 Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony. “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes, “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig, Nick Bockwinkel, Mr. Fuji, The Wild Samoans, The Sheik, and the legendary Terry Funk will be indicted and what a night that will be. And all of those men will be in attendance at WrestleMania. Inside the squared circle, the WWE Women’s Championship will be on the line, when Mickie James defend against Victoria.
Mickie has reigned on top of the women’s division for almost a full YEAR now, but Victoria has been the most impressive challenger we’ve seen in the past 365 days. Mickie’s run out of aces up her sleeve, she can very well be in trouble come this Sunday.
Definitely the most anticipated Women’s Title match we’ve had in a long time. Also on the line this Sunday, the Intercontinental Championship. The young champion, Carlito, defends against the Wall Street Warrior, former WWE Champion John Bradshaw Layfield.
We’ve heard these two men go back and forth for weeks now on the microphone including tonight. At WrestleMania 23, it’ll be put up or shut up for Caribbean Cool and JBL.
No doubt that’ll be physically intense. But when you talk about intensity, when you talk about anticipated, it doesn’t get much better than Icon versus Icon. The “Texas Rattlesnake” Stone Cold Steve Austin takes on the Olympic Gold Medalist, the “Wrestling Machine” Kurt Angle.
The biggest star of the 90s takes on quite possibly the biggest star since. After the words we heard exchanged here tonight, we know we’ll be getting the best of Steve Austin at WrestleMania, will Kurt Angle be ready for the onslaught The Rattlesnake will being this Sunday??
That match is HUGE … but it gets no bigger than the Monday Night Raw Main Event - the WWE Championship Match. Three Way Dance, “The Legend Killer” Randy Orton defends the WWE Title against “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels and “The Rated R Superstar” Edge with two falls to a finish!
The last man standing after two eliminations leave with the gold, and things have gotten mighty personal with these three superstars. What will be the focus come WrestleMania night, the WWE Championship, hogging the spotlight, or revenge? Only time will tell.
What a match up that will be, fireworks galore. But for a look at the SmackDown matches, let’s take it to Joey Styles and Tazz in WWE studios, in Stanford, Connecticut.
Cut to studio with Styles and Tazz standing by.
Thanks, J.R.. No doubt that Raw has one of the biggest cards in their history, but SmackDown is even better,
No shock there. SmackDown is flat out loaded for WrestleMania.
Personal, vicious, out and out ugly, and historic, No Holds Barred Match, “The Game” Triple H takes on “The People’s Champion” The Rock in the most epic clash of their storied feud.
Despite being at each other’s throats for the better part of a full DECADE, The Brahma Bull and The King of Kings have never met one on one on the grandest stage of them all. That is going to change in a most brutal way this Sunday.
Another personal match up, the Fatal Four Way Match for the United States Championship. William Regal defends against former champions, King Booker, Finlay and Bobby Lashley.
After that attack this past Friday night from Elijah Burke and Monty Brown, the ball is firmly in King Booker’s court - no pun intended. Regal may have to kiss that title could by on the first.
For the Cruiserweight Championship, the most anticipated Cruiserweight Title match in WWE history, “The Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels defends against the cruiser icon, Rey Mysterio.
Daniels has definitely been a dominant champion, beating Chris Sabin, beating a cruiserweight legend in Dean Malenko and retiring Rey’s best friend, Chavo Guerrero. Can he take out Mysterio as well?
The WrestleMania winning streak of The Undertaker could very well be in trouble when The Phenom steps into the ring against The Doctor of Thuganomics John Cena this Sunday.
Cena has been steps of The Undertaker for months on end now and just a couple of weeks ago, Cena laid The Undertaker out clean in the middle of the ring with that deadly FU! Cena could pick up one of the biggest wins of all time in just a few short days.
A couple of huge inter-promotional matches also taking place at WrestleMania. The most vital being the Money in the Bank Ladder Match! Six superstars, one briefcase, with a shot at a World Title on the line.
Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair, Rob Van Dam, Ken Doane and the death-defying Sabu battle it out for the Money in the Bank World Title contract good for a full 365 days.
That match will be about self but the Monsters Collide Tag Team Match is about nothing but brand pride. “The Big Red Machine” Kane and “The Silverback” Mark Henry from SmackDown take on The Big Show and Umaga,
Last week, Stephanie McMahon and our guys showed up on Raw and embarrassed Coach on his show. Expect the same at WrestleMania.
And just made last week, inter-promotional eight man tag team match up. The WWE Tag Team Champions Paul London and Brian Kendrick team up with Shelton Benjamin and Gregory Helms, to take on Raw’s World Tag Team Champions America’s Most Wanted and MNM.
The two best tag teams PERIOD take on Raw’s two best tag teams. This match up could possibly steal the show at WrestleMania.
And the biggest one of them all - the biggest on the card, the most dominant World Heavyweight Champion of all-time, “The Animal” Dave Batista takes on the arrogant challenger, the 2007 Royal Rumble Winner, Mr. Kennedy.
… Kennedy. All the marbles on the line. The most prestigious prize in this business on the line on the grandest stage of them all. Will the pompous Kennedy be able to dethrone The Animal, or will Big Dave continue his reign of terror on SmackDown?
Only time will tell but I’ve got Goosebumps waiting for WrestleMania. It’s going to be the biggest extravaganza of all time. I’m Joey Styles, he’s Tazz, back to J.R. and The King.
Shot of Shawn Michaels and Edge (w/Lita), split screen.
Thanks, Joey and Tazz, but coming up next, a WrestleMania level main event. The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels takes on The Rated R Superstar Edge. NEXT!
A video package begins to play …
Slow music plays as a young HBK walks down the entrance ramp with Marty Jannetty by his side.
Ring announcer: … Shawn Michaels!
Michaels growing up in the business until we see the wily though still arrogant and pompous veteran of today.
Shawn Michaels: I will put on a show that you have never seen before. Why? Because I can.
Sexy Boy hits and we see Shawn Michaels walking down the entrance ramp in one of his trademark gaudy outfits.
Jim Ross: The Showstopper!
Michaels hitting a moonsault.
Shawn Michaels: The Headlinah!
HBK leaping off of the inside of the HIAC, hitting a splash on Undertaker.
Jim Ross: The Icon.
Michaels face to face with Hulk Hogan.
Shawn Michaels: The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels!
Michaels dropping Bret Hart with SCM.
Vince McMahon: Oh, that’s Shawn Michaels! Look at that!
HBK rappelling down the line at WrestleMania 12.
Vince McMahon: The boyhood dream has come true for Shawn Michaels!
Michaels celebrating with the title after defeating Bret.
Jim Ross: A magnet for controversy.
Several clips of the Montreal Screwjob and Michaels in his DX days, as controversial and sophomoric as it gets.
Jim Ross: Nobody will ever out perform Shawn Michaels on the big stage.
Some of Michaels’ most impressive performances - his comeback against Triple H at SummerSlam 2002, his Survivor Series EC win, his Dream Match with Kurt Angle at WM 21 and finally, his WWE Title win at SummerSlam 2006.
Jim Ross: Shawn Michaels is like a bulldog. He doesn’t know how big or how small he really is - he really doesn’t give a damn.
Clips of Michaels proving himself as a Giant Killer, taking out Diesel, The Undertaker, Vader, Psycho Sid and Mankind.
Shawn Michaels: I will do whatever it takes to make sure that The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels comes out on top.
HBK turns on several tag team partners - Michaels throws Marty Jannetty through the Barbershop set, Superkicks Hulk Hogan during 2005 after a tag match and then last week, Superkicks Edge.
Jim Ross: Throughout all the years, Shawn Michaels has not lost a single step inside the squared circle.
Michaels has a spectacular comeback since 2002, winning a couple of world titles, and 2006 is possibly his best year yet - defeating Vince McMahon at WrestleMania 22, defeating Edge and HHH for his fifth World Title at SummerSlam, defending it a couple of times, and racking up wins over The Undertaker, The Big Show, and Randy Orton.
Shawn Michaels: You’re completely right. I always look out for numero uno. And if saaaayyyy … you didn’t make it to WrestleMania … that would definitely be something in my favor.
Michaels and Edge fend off the RKO Army for months on end but have several verbal altercations, leading up to last week, where Michaels completely takes Edge’s head off with Sweet Chin Music.
Shawn Michaels: At WrestleMania 23...
Michaels dropping Hogan, Flair, Nash, Hall, Bret, Goldberg, Austin, Rock, Hunter, Taker, Kane, Benoit, Angle, Jericho, Big Show, JBL and down the line with Sweet Chin Music.
Shawn Michaels: You can bet the farm that the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels will be walking out with World Championship number six … Why? Because I can.
Final shot of HBK posing with the WWE Championship on his shoulder, doing his signature flexing pose before the video ends with the WM23 graphic once again pops up for the Three Way Dance.
Back to ringside.
Edge vs. Shawn Michaels
Edge and Michaels go for eight or so minutes, not too long, as the show has seemed to run quite a bit over with this match starting at 11:01. HBK and Edge work a solid pace but they don’t go balls to wall, saving that and the anticipation for WrestleMania. Michaels works far more heelish than usual, continuing his heel/tweener role started last week.
During the final minutes of the contest, The Rated R Superstar makes his comeback, avoiding HBK’s flying elbow drop and then clotheslining Michaels down a couple of times. Edge then hits his Edgecution DDT for a near fall!! Edge walks over to the corner, and gets ready for the Spear, waiting on Michaels. HBK staggers back up to his feet and Edge charges - but Michaels leaps up and over him, causing Edge to slam into the turnbuckle!! Heat fills the arena as … RANDY ORTON steps out onto the stage and sprints down the entrance ramp.
Orton slides into the ring and throws a right at Michaels but HBK ducks it and then lights Orton up with right hands, before clotheslining him over the top rope!! Michaels turns around AND GETS SPEARED BY EDGE!!! Edge then covers him and picks up the three count!!
Winner: Edge via pinfall at 8:33.
Edge doesn’t even celebrate as he prepares to move after Orton on the outside, but Joey Mercury quickly runs down the ramp and attacks Edge from behind!! Edge turns around and begins to brawl with Mercury, the two former teammates exchanging right hands.
Mercury then knees Edge in the gut, and shoots him off of the ropes. The Rated R Superstar comes back, avoids a clothesline, hits the ropes, avoids another clotheslines, hits the ropes once more and then EDGE HITS THE SPEAR, taking Mercury down to a nice pop!!
Edge glares down at Mercury and unbeknownst to him, Orton slides back into the ring. Edge turns around and Orton leaps up, DROPPING EDGE WITH AN RKO!!
Orton smirks, turning around - SWEET CHIN MUSIC!!! A thunderous mixed reaction once again fills the arena as Michaels does himself a little strut, gaining the upper hand on his two foes once again this week!!
Ross and Lawler give us the final hard sell for WrestleMania as Shawn Michaels poses in the middle of the ring, smirk on his face, with Edge and Orton laid out around him.
END OF SHOW
Current Card for WWE WrestleMania XXIII:
Date: April 1st, 2007
Location: Ford Field; Detroit, Michigan
Event Music: Saliva; Ladies and Gentlemen
World Heavyweight Championship Match:
World Heavyweight Champion Batista w/Ric Flair
vs. 2007 Royal Rumble Winner Mr. Kennedy
WWE Championship Match; Three Way Dance:
‘The Legend Killer’ Randy Orton w/Melina
vs. ‘The Heartbreak Kid’ Shawn Michaels
vs. ‘The Rated R Superstar’ Edge w/Lita
No Holds Barred Match:
‘The Great One’ The Rock vs. ‘The Game’ Triple H
Icon vs. Icon:
‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin vs. ‘The Wrestling Machine’ Kurt Angle
One On One:
‘The Phenom’ The Undertaker vs. ‘The Boss’ John Cena
Intercontinental Championship Match:
Carlito vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
Cruiserweight Championship Match:
Christopher Daniels w/Allison Danger vs. Rey Mysterio
Women's Championship Match:
Mickie James vs. Victoria
United States Championship; Fatal Four Way Match:
William Regal vs. King Booker vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Finlay
Money In The Bank Ladder Match:
RVD vs. Matt Hardy vs. Ken Doane vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Sabu vs. Ric Flair
Raw GM Jonathan Coachman’s Big Show & Umaga(w/AAE & Heyman)
vs. SmackDown! GM Stephanie McMahon’s Kane & Mark Henry
Eight Man Inter-Promotional Tag Team Match:
America's Most Wanted & MNM vs. Hooligans & Helms/Benjamin
Gif Credit - will94
Match Banner Credit - Crazian