Thanks for the extra SNME reviews. I'll get around to repping the bunch of you sooner or later. Here's Raw. New format. Promos - Dark red = Heel, Red = Face, Black = Announcer, Commentator. Enjoy.
RAW; March 12th, 2007; New York City, New York:
The opening video plays before we head into the arena to witness the fantastic pyro display. The camera pans around Madison Square Garden to all the fans, going crazy, holding up their signs, before …
***Playa’s Club*** The crowd begins to deliver serious heat as the Raw general manager, Jonathan Coachman, steps out onto the stage dressed in a beige suit. Coach stretches his neck a bit, selling the Stunner from SNME, before continuing on down the ramp, towards the ring before stepping in and calling for a microphone.
Coach prepares to speak but an “Asshole” chant cuts him off, causing the GM to look around the arena with distain. He waits for them to die down and once they finally do so, Coachman speaks.
Ladies and gentlemen, Saturday Night’s Main Event has come and gone and though it was a great night for some … your Raw general manager, yours truly, Jonathan Coachman was none too happy about some of the events which took place just two days ago. First off, Stone Cold Steve Austin -
Coachman is cut off by a tremendous ovation for the Texas Rattlesnake.
Stone Cold decided that he would take it upon himself to send Kurt Angle a message by putting his hands on me and gave me … he gave me a Stone Cold Stunner.
Another pop as Coachman stretches out his neck.
And though I am no longer the referee of his match with Kurt Angle at WrestleMania 23, I am STILL the general manager of this brand and as the general manager of Raw, I’ll run it as I see fit!
Boos as Coach attempts to regain his sense of authority after his embarrassment at Saturday Night’s Main Event.
Which is why tonight, we will see Stone Cold Steve Austin in in-ring competition(pop)
! It will be Stone Cold and a partner of his choosing taking on … the seven foot, five hundred pound Big Show and the Samoan Bulldozer Umaga!!
And, Steve, if you are unable to find someone willing to be your partner here tonight, then we will have a handicap match as our main event.
Coach smirks as the crowd boos that part of the announcement.
Moving along, at Saturday Night’s Main Event, we found out … that at WrestleMania 23 the third annual Money in the Bank Ladder Match.
So right here tonight, we will have THREE qualifying matches for the three Raw spots in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match. First, former WWE Tag
Team Champion Charlie Haas will take on the former Intercontinental Champion, Ken Doane.
Then in out second Money in the Bank qualifier, “The Masterpiece” Chris Masters takes on the homicidal, suicidal, genocidal, death-defying Sabu.
In our final qualifying match up, former World Tag Team Champion Joey Mercury will take on the former WWE Champion, “Mr. Monday Night” Rob Van Dam!
Huge cheers for RVD.
It’s going to be a great ni-
***Metalingus*** The crowd rises and pops loudly as the “Rated R Superstar” Edge, dawned in his trademark long leather coat and shades, quickly makes his way down to ring with Lita close behind. Edge steps in and demands a mic, quickly getting one from Lillian Garcia.
Edge: (Through gritted teeth)
I’ve waited long enough!!
Coach takes a step back from Edge as Edge walks around a bit, brushing his hair out of his face.
New Year’s Revolution, that son of a bitch, Randy Orton, took everything from me!! He beat me down, he took my WWE Championship, he took my Rated R Army, he took my blood and took a month out of my career. Yeah, that SOB got my year off to a great start.
Edge takes a deep breath.
The only thing that kept me focused - kept me on track, was knowing that eventually I would get my payback! In one quick moment, I knew that I would take it all from Orton; And I got that opportunity at the Royal Rumble. I booked myself into that match -
Yeah, by attacking Chris Masters!
IT DOESN’T MATTER!!!
Coach takes another step back as Edge eyes show his fury.
I got into that match, I cleaned house, I was ready to bring it home and once again, that pompous son of a bitch cost me that match and once more I had to sit and stew just wondering, just hoping, PRAYING that I’d get my shot at Orton!
Edge’s look of anger turns into a (sarcastic?) smile.
But yet, here we are a couple of months later, and all I’ve gotten is road block after road block, excuse after excuse, tag match after tag match, RKO AFTER DAMN RKO, RKO ON MY GIRLFRIEND - I’M THROUGH WAITING!!! I’ve waited long enough, and I refuse to wait a second longer! Coach, you give me Randy Orton and you give me Orton tonight!!
Thunderous ovation as Coach looks a bit nervous.
***Burn in My Light*** Edge’s head turns with shock and anger as the crowd boos and the WWE Champion, the “Legend Killer” Randy Orton dressed in jeans, a tee shirt and his WWE Title on his shoulder steps out onto the stage, looking as confident as ever, microphone in his hand.
Edge … Edge there’s no need to get heated - no need to get upset because the man you’re looking for - the “Legend Killer”, and the WWE Champion Randy Orton stands before you right here and in the flesh.
Big time heat as Orton smirks and Edge begins to fume.
You know what your problem is, Edge? You take everything personal, you hold everything as a personal grudge, when in fact … when in fact, it’s all … just … business. You see, I didn’t take your group from you because I thought you were a bad guy. No, they wanted to be with a success, they wanted to be with a star, they wanted to be with the greatest WWE superstar in the business today, they wanted to be with Randy Orton.
And no, Edge, I didn’t RKO Lita for the hell of it; that’s FAR from the truth. That RKO to Lita was a message; a message to you, a message to Shawn Michaels, and the message is this: at WrestleMania 23 I will do whatever it takes to hold on to this WWE Championship - MY WWE Championship.
Edge seems ready to explode as the crowd boos the Legend Killer.
You don’t want this championship, you want revenge and that’s all the … edge I need to beat you. Any slight mistake, any slight overaggressive move come WrestleMania 23 will only lead to your
downfall … and my
reign … my destiny continuing on.
Orton drops the mic and does his ‘Destiny’ pose as Edge shakes his head in disgust, and turns towards Coachman before picking the mic up to his face.
Give me a match with Orton … NOW!!!
Loud pop from the crowd as Edge turns from Coach and intensely glares at the WWE Champion.
I will not be dictated to!! I am -
Edge quickly leaves the ring and goes sprinting up the entrance ramp, as the crowd begins to go wild. Orton swiftly, turning around and heading back through the curtain! Edge makes it to the top of the ramp and head through the curtain … right into a hard right hand from Orton!!!
The Rated R Superstar stumbles down the ramp and Orton measures him up before he rocks him again with a right hand!! Orton grabs the Canadian and tosses him back into the ring before arrogantly walking up the steel steps and back into the ring. Randy prepares to go back after his hated nemesis but Edge charges and takes the champion down with a double leg and begins to swing away on him as Lita and Coachman scurry from the ring!!
The crowd erupts as Orton covers up, attempting to deflect the shots from the furious Rated R Superstar!! Edge continues to swing away on him but soon enough the cavalry arrives - in the form of Chris Masters, Ken Doane and Joey Mercury!! The three superstars slide in and immediately pull Edge off of Orton and into a corner! Then the RKO Army (sans Johnny Nitro) pound away on Edge, stomping away on him in the corner as the Legend Killer rises to his feet.
As Edge is being held still, Orton walks towards the corner and grabs the face of Edge, mocking him, taunting him with degrading slaps to the face as the fans begin to shower Orton and company in heat.
That heat soon turns into an incredible ovation as SHAWN MICHAELS sprints down to the ring; STEEL CHAIR IN HAND!!! The Heartbreak Kid slides in and Orton and his group immediately spread out like rats, quickly leaving the ring!! HBK calls for them to et back in, waiving his chair as Edge stews in the corner - continuing to stare a hole right through Orton.
HBK making the save, but what about what we just heard for right here tonight, King?
Three Money in the Bank qualifying matches and not only that, but The Big Show and Umaga will team up tonight to take on Stone Cold Steve Austin and a partner of his choosing.
That’s gonna be one hell of a slobber knocker but also tonight, the Intercontinental Champion hosts his Carlito’s Cabana and his guest tonight … Kurt Angle. All that happens tonight on Monday Night Raw!
Backstage, Orton leads Chris Masters and Ken Doane down a hallway, with Doane traveling and appreciable distance behind. The Legend Killer fumes with anger, finally arriving to his locker room and storming in. Melina and Johnny Nitro immediately turn their attention to the entering Orton, who glares at Nitro up and down before speaking.
Where in the hell were you??
What do you mean?
Count ‘em up. Each and every one of my group - my army was out there trying to send Edge a message … but you’re
back here sitting on your ass.
In case you
forgot, Melina was almost cut in half by Edge two weeks ago … because of something you
did. So I took it upon myself to stay back here with her. But let me ask you a question, Randy.
I was back here listening to Coachman … and Joey gets a Money in the Bank qualifying match … Kenny gets a Money in the Bank qualifying match … Chris gets a Money in the Bank qualifying match.
Great job; What’s your point?
Why didn’t I get one?
I’m the WWE Champion but I don’t make the matches around here.
Nitro rolls his eyes as Orton rubs his chin.
But if I had to venture a guess as to why every other member of the RKO Army got one and you didn’t … I would guess it’s because you’re a liability to this group.
You heard me. You say it’s my fault Melina got speared two weeks ago? Nah, I say it’s YOUR fault. She’s YOUR responsibility, since she’s YOUR girlfriend -- though I’d be damned if I know why she’s still with somebody like you.
Nitro takes a step towards Orton but Melina holds him back and Masters edges closer to the side of Orton.
From this point on, lack of focus and sloppiness will no longer be tolerated in my army. Three weeks, WrestleMania 23, I put the WWE Championship on the line against Edge and Shawn Michaels and I need every bit of my focus to be on that, not on some fake Hollywood celebrity. (Nitro’s face seethes with anger)
From now on, complacency won’t be put up with.
Orton turns from the angry Nitro and looks at Ken Doane.
Neither will defiance.
Doane scrunches his face up and the two superstars share an awkwardly long and intense stare down. Back to ringside. Joey Mercury waits in the ring after appearing in the opening segment.
***One Of A Kind*** “Mr. Monday Night” Rob Van Dam steps into the arena, receiving a great ovation with the whistling Bill Alfonso by his side.
Match #1: Money in the Bank Qualifier
Rob Van Dam w/Bill Alfonso
vs. Joey Mercury
Solid match up, with Rob Van Dam and Mercury cutting a fast pace with some solid action. Ross puts over the fact that Mercury is a tag team specialist and may not be able to hang with the former WWE Champion; and after a while, he doesn’t. RVD kicks it into another gear and takes over the match, hitting an array of kicks and signature maneuvers, ready to put this match away until Mercury hit’s a thumb to the eye, cutting him off. Mercury then shoots Van Dam into the corner but RVD leaps up and over the incoming Mercury, grabs his hips and then takes him over with a strong release German suplex!!! Mercury sprawls out in the middle of the ring before Van Dam climbs to the top and leaps off, hitting the FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH for the victory!!!
Winner: Rob Van Dam via pinfall at 7:32.
The crowd pops as Van Dam gets back up to his feet, raising his arms in the air while Fonzie blows his whistle like a mad man.
Rob Van Dam is in the Money in the Bank ladder match!! And it was last year that RVD grabbed that Money in the Bank briefcase at WrestleMania 22 and went on to become a WWE Champion. Can he do it again at WrestleMania 23??
We’ll soon see, J.R. but we’ve got a couple of more spots to decide tonight; The Masterpiece Chris Masters versus Sabu and Ken Doane versus Charlie Haas.
And that match up - Haas versus Doane, these two young studs are up next!
Cut backstage with Todd Grisham standing by … with Armando Estrada, Paul Heyman by his side … with The Big Show and Umaga by theirs.
Mr. Estrada, Mr. Heyman, I would just like to get your thoughts on - not only your tag team match with SmackDown!’s Big Red Machine Kane and Mark Henry at WrestleMania but your tag team, and possible handicap match with Stone Cold Steve Austin here tonight.
As far as Stone Cold Steve Austin is concerned, as many already know, I was a HUGE fan of Stone Cold. When Steve was released - unfairly released I might add - it was I, Paul Heyman, who took upon myself to bring him into ECW. Back in the mid 1990s, Steve Austin was a phenomenal wrestler, a tremendous talker with fantastic charisma and I knew that it would only be a matter of time before he would achieve greatness. Of course that greatness would soon come here in the WWE and Steve Austin would become one of the biggest wrestling sensations - if not THE biggest sensation of all time.
Applause from the fans.
But that was ten years ago. We aren’t in 1997, we’re in 2007 and here in the 21st century, Steve Austin is nothing more than a washed up, shell of a man who can’t cut it in the ring anymore. 2007 belongs to incredible physical specimens like the Wrestling Machine Kurt Angle who is right now better than Stone Cold Steve Austin EVER was, let alone the Stone Cold of today. Today, Steve Austin has been pushed aside for superstars like the undefeated “Samoan Bulldozer” Umaga and nowadays, Steve has no place alongside the biggest athlete in the world today, the seven foot, five hundred pound Big Show!!
The crowd boos as Estrada pulls the mic towards him.
Haha, and of course, when ju talk about The Big Show and the Saaaaamoan Bulldozer Umaga, ju’re talking about the two most destructive forces - not only on Raw but in ALL of sports entertainment. And that of course, brings me to WrestleMania 23 and the much anticipated, much hyped, much craved, Monster’s Collide match against Kane and Mark Henry.
AAE takes his shades off.
Stephanie McMahon, ju big dummy!! Ju think that Kane and the - como se dice … Silverback Mark Henry stand a chance against Umaga and The Big Show?? Ju think those out of shape, overrated, washed-up has-been idiots can hang with the biggest and baddest that Monday Night Raw has to offer?? Well, sweet cakes - haha - ju are sadly mistaken. At WrestleMania 23, SmackDown!, Stephanie McMahon, Mark Henry, and Kane all get taken down a peg and completely embarrassed, just like Stone Cold Steve Austin and whatever sap he gets as a partner get embarrassed here tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, tonight - haha - WrestleMania comes early.
Estrada smiles goofily and then all four men take off camera before we cut back to ringside.
***Pay The Price*** The crowd gives a decent pop as former tag team champion Charlie Haas makes his way down to the ring, looking focused - looking ready to book himself into a WrestleMania slot.
***Out of My Way*** The former Intercontinental Champion Ken Doane enters the arena and walks down the entrance ramp, receiving a sufficient amount of boos, looking pretty confident.
Match #2: Money in the Bank Qualifier
Charlie Haas vs. Ken Doane
Doane and Haas put on a somewhat surprisingly good match up, with it going back and forth throughout the ENTIRE match up. Doane attempts to use his more “WWE Style” of wrestling against Haas but the former WWE Tag Team Champion offsets that with his vast arsenal of suplexes; from belly to belly’s to Germans to verticals. At the six minute mark, Doane leaps to the top rope with Haas on the ground, before leaping off the top, looking for the GUILLOTINE LEG DROP -- but Haas moves out of the way. Both men get back up and Haas applies the small package for the cover. 1... 2... NO!! Haas and Doane get back up and Kenny throws a clothesline, which Haas ducks and rolls him up into a school boy! 1... 2... NO! Doane gets up and hits Haas with a boot to the gut, going for a FLATLINE but Haas fights him off with elbows to the side of the head! Haas throws a lariat but Doane ducks it, grabbing the hand of Haas and shooting him off. He comes back and goes behind Doane, looking for a German Suplex - and gets him up! - but Doane rolls through, into a cover! 1... 2... 3!!
Winner: Ken Doane via pinfall at 8:11.
We quickly cut backstage to see Melina, Masters, Mercury and even Nitro clapping for a hell of a performance from Doane. The camera then pans to the face of Randy Orton to show him looking rather perturbed - bothered by Doane getting into the MITB.
Cut backstage with Carlito walking down a hallway, apple in hand, Intercontinental Title on shoulder, ready for his Carlito’s Cabana segment up next.
***Cool*** The crowd pops loudly as the Intercontinental Champion Carlito makes his way down to the ring, carrying his apple and his title while dressed in his usual ring gear, with a “Caribbean” shirt over it. Carlito steps into the ring, which is already set up for this segment with a hammock, lawn chairs and palm trees. Carly calls for a mic and soon gets one.
Two days ago at Saturday Night’s Main Event, Carlito went toe to toe with Rob Van Dam (pop)
. And while R-V-D gave me a hell of a challenge, it was Carlito who came out the victory and still … the Intercontinental Champion and dat … das cool.
Nice pop as Carlito smiles.
But while that is good news, Carlito’s battle for this championship is far from over because now that Carlito is going to be heading into WrestleMania 23 as the Intercontinental Champion … Carlito has to take on JBL - John Bradshaw Layfield and dats … not … cool.
But that’s enough about JBL, WrestleMania 23 is shaping up to be the biggest night in WWE history with several mega matches. Of course, there’s Carlito’s match; there’s the World Title match between Batista and Mr. Kennedy.
KENNEDY!!; Great pop.
There’s the WWE Title match between Edge, Orton and Shawn Michaels.
John Cena versus The Undertaker.
Triple H versus The Rock
But there may be even one match more anticipated than all of those matches - even Carlito’s match!! That match up will see Icon versus Icon, Stone Cold Steve Austin …
Thunderous pop for The Rattlesnake.
Against my guest here tonight, 1996 Olympic Gold Medalist, Grand Slam Champion, multi-time World Champion, the ‘Wrestling Machine’, ladies and gentlemen … Kurt Angle!
***Medal*** A tremendous amount of heat fills Madison Square Garden as Kurt Angle, clad in his ring attire and vest, makes his way down to the ring. Carlito (sarcastically?) applauds as Angle climbs the steel steps and enters the ring before doing his signature twirl to more heat. Angle, smirk on his face, reaches down and grabs a mic off of the lawn chair.
Kurt Angle … welcome to Carlito’s Cabana.
Thanks, Carlito. Thanks for having me. Y’know, there’s been lots of big name stars on your show, but I think you, me and everyone here can agree, it gets no better … than your Olympic Hero Kurt Angle! Oh, it’s true!
You’re definitely a big star, Kurt Angle, but we’re not here to talk about how big of a star you are. No, Carlito and all these fans want to talk about WrestleMania 23 … and Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Angle’s smile is turned upside down.
What about Steve Austin??
I mean, I’ve heard you say - and Paul Heyman say - and lots of other people say that Stone Cold is washed up-
He’s not the same as before-
Kurt Angle: (turning to crowd)
I said SHUT UP!!
But you see, Kurt, Stone Cold Steve Austin has made a career out of going against the grain, going against what should
happen. And that could very well happen to you
at WrestleMania 23.
Angle seethes with anger as the crowd cheers, starting an “Austin” chant.
Carlito: (pointing to the titantron)
Take a look at this.
Video package plays. Somewhat somber music plays as we get a clip of Steve Austin lacing up his boots in a locker room.
Jim Ross: Nobody has ever laced their boots up any more intensely than the ‘Texas Rattlesnake’ Stone Cold Steve Austin!
Shot of Austin getting up from his seat and entering the hallway, marching down the hallway with his typical BMF walk.
Jerry Lawler: There’s no telling what that damn Rattlesnake is gonna do!
Shot of Austin walking past the ‘gorilla position’ and through the curtain as the glass shatters and the fans in the arena go wild; Faster, louder music plays.
Jim Ross: Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Stone Cold!
Shot of Austin stomping away on Bret Hart in the corner!!
Jim Ross: One of the top superstars in the federation today!! Vicious, twisted almost.
Austin giving his speech after winning KOTR.
Steve Austin: You sit there, readin’ your psalms talkin’ about John 3:16. Well, Austin 3:16 says ‘I just whipped your ass’!! (Crowd roars)
Austin crippling the late Brian Pillman.
Jerry Lawler: Austin doesn’t give a damn about anybody, McMahon. He does what he wants-
Austin stunning Bret Hart.
Steve Austin: You put the letter ‘s’ in front of the word ‘hitman’ and you would have my exact opinion of Bret Hart!
Stone Cold stunning Jake Roberts.
Jerry Lawler: He says what he wants.
Steve Austin: (talking to a cop) TIE MY SHOE!!! TIE MY SHOE RIGHT NOW!! Don’t touch me; I’m a star!! (To a make up lady) You should be hitting the streets in that outfit.
Austin locked in the Sharpshooter at Mania 13, blood running down his face.
Jim Ross: He never tapped out!! He never gave up!! He never quit!! But he passed out, from the pain!
Vince McMahon: The guts of Stone Cold Steve Austin on full display here tonight!!
Austin beating the crap out of several members of The Hart Foundation.
Jim Ross: Stone Cold Steve Austin is out of control! He can’t be stopped!!
Somber music begins to play as we get a clip of Austin getting a piledriver from Owen Hart at SS97. Another clip of Austin plays, this time of Austin stumbling around, suffering from his injury. Not only does Austin return but he within months, he wins his first WWE Championship at WrestleMania 14, defeating Shawn Michaels!!
Jim Ross: The Austin Era has begun!!
Quick clips play of Stone Cold’s 1998-1999 run. His tremendous feud with Mr. McMahon, his brutal rivalries with The Rock, Triple H, The Undertaker, Kane, and Mick Foley. The music once again takes a more serious tone, this time as Austin is ran down at Survivor Series 1999.
Jim Ross: My Gawd!! That car just ran over Austin!!
Austin returns at Backlash 2000, laying out the McMahon-Helmsley Regime as the audience goes completely ape shit. Austin then goes onto even more success, recapturing the WWE Championship at WrestleMania 17. The Rattlesnake continues his spectacular 2001, putting on MOTYC after MOTYC before hanging up the boots a couple of years later at WrestleMania 19.
Jim Ross: He is quite possibly the greatest WWE Champion of all time, but have we seen the last of Stone Cold Steve Austin??
Unforgiven 2006: Austin returns, interrupting a JBL rant and giving the Wall Street Warrior a Stunner!
Jim Ross: Stone Cold is back! The Texas Rattlesnake is back on Monday nights!
Jerry Lawler: And he just took out JBL! That damn Austin!
Jim Ross: My God what a moment! What an Unforgiven!
Steve Austin: Stone Cold Steve Austin is back …
Austin and Angle coming face to face backstage at the 2007 Royal Rumble.
Steve Austin: And I am gonna raise more hell in this ring than ever before …
Clip of Austin stunning Kurt Angle at the Royal Rumble!
Steve Austin: And that’s the bottom line … cause STONE COLD SAID SO!!!
We then fade out with a shot of Austin raising his hands in the air with the last line echoing.
The video ends and we cut back to real time as the crowd applauds wildly while Angle continues to boil with anger, turning around to face Carlito.
Now dat … das cool.
Angle gets nose to nose with Carlito. Carly doesn’t back down as Angle’s expression changes from one of anger to a smirk before he picks the mic up.
Did you think that was funny?? Pretty proud of yourself, huh, Carlito??
Carlito smiles, nodding his head.
Wanna know what I find funny??
BAM!!! Angle drills Carlito with the microphone, sending the IC Champion before he mounts him, swinging away on Carly with hard right hands!! Angle grabs Carlito by the hair, lifting him back up to his feet, before rocking him with a stinging European Uppercut, sending him into the corner!!
Angle continues to swing away on him, until Carlito blocks the right hand of Angle and fires off a right of his own, before firing off some left hands, backing Angle up before taking him down with a clothesline!! He gets back up and Carlito takes him down with another clothesline.
The crowd soon stops cheering for the IC Champion and begins booing as John Bradshaw Layfield comes running down the entrance ramp before sliding in!!! Carlito turns around and JBL levels him with a boot to the face, taking his pending WrestleMania opponent down!!
Angle makes his way back up to his feet and begins to assist JBL as the two former world champions stomp away on Caribbean Cool!! An “Austin” chant starts up as the two heels go to work, and soon enough…
***GLASS SHATTERS*** The crowd loses it’s mind as Stone Cold Steve Austin sprints down the ramp, before sliding into the ring, much to the surprise of Kurt Angle!! Angle throws a right but Austin blocks it before lighting Angle up with a ferocious amount of right hands, backing him up into the corner!!
Carlito begins to come back against JBL as Austin swings away on Angle!! Ultimately, Austin and Carlito clean the ring of the heels and the crowd cheers wildly!! Austin looks at Carlito and nods before climbing onto the turnbuckle and raises his hands to another tremendous pop!!
That pop soon turns into tremendous heat as Jonathan Coachman appears on the titantron!! Austin and Carlito look at the titantron while JBL and Angle do much of the same on the outside of the ring. Carlito picks up the mic.
Coach, I’m glad you’re here because in that tag match with Umaga and Big Show … Carlito wants to be Stone Cold Steve Austin’s partner.
Tremendous pop as Austin looks at Carlito somewhat surprised, not expecting him to man up but nods anyway.
Carlito, I don’t really care what you want because y’see, you CAN’T be Stone Cold’s partner … because you’re gonna have yourself a match up right here, right now!!
Carlito and Austin both shake their heads as all heels smile.
So lets get that ring clear because right now, in a non-title match, we’re gonna have Carlito versus … “The Wrestling Machine” Kurt Angle!!
Mixed reaction as Angle lets out a roar.
So, Steve, I guess that leaves you alone for tonight. Good luck.
Austin glares at the titantron with fierce anger as we fade out with Angle and Carlito staring at one another.
Match #3: Non-Title Match:
Kurt Angle vs. Intercontinental Champion Carlito
Angle and Carly tear it up, going all out and cutting a breakneck pace in the process, almost reminiscent of Michaels/Benjamin from 2005. Angle gives Carlito a very sufficient amount of offense, bolstering the reputation of the young Intercontinental Champion for the first ten some odd minutes of the match up.
Carlito’s high flying style baffles Angle in short spurts but the technically sound Olympian always manages to cut the IC Champion off with a European Uppercut or some other form of his high impact offense, which climaxes with Angle cutting a high flying attempt of Carlito off, quickly climbing the turnbuckle and taking Carlito down with a top rope belly to belly suplex!!
Angle stalks Carlito waiting for Caribbean Cool to get back up to his feet, and once he does - Angle goes for the ANGLE SLAM - but Carlito counters, landing behind Angle and hitting the BACK CRACKER!!! Angle lays out as Carlito crawls over for the cover!!! 1... 2... … … Carlito looks around confused but that look of confusion soon turns into one of anger as he sees the referee arguing with JOHN BRADSHAW LAYFIELD!!! Carlito gets up, walks over to JBL and rocks him with a strong left hand, knocking him from the apron!!!
Carlito turns back around and Angle kicks him in the gut and gives him the STONE COLD STUNNER!!! Carlito stumbles backward into the ropes as the crowd boos. Angle kicks him in the stomach once more before dropping him with the ANGLE SLAM!!! Angle then covers him, hooking the far leg!! 1... 2... 3!!!
Winner: Kurt Angle via pinfall at 13:37.
Angle does a short bit of celebrating much to the chagrin of the crowd while JBL smirks on the outside of the ring. Angle leaves and Bradshaw picks up a mic from ringside before climbing up the steps and into the squared circle, hovering above the fallen Carlito.
John Bradshaw Layfield: (In overdone Hispanic accent)
Ca - lee - doooo!!! Como e stas? (Stops and chuckles)
Get used to being in this position. Get used to JBL standing over your lifeless body. Get used to looking at the lights. Get used to feeling empty and get used to being disappointed. Because in a little under three weeks, THE Wrestling God will be in this EXACT same position and there isn’t a damn thing anybody can do about it!! Carlito, you’ve done absolutely NOTHING but disrespect that championship since you won it. Being Intercontinental Champion is about carrying on a legacy - a legacy that you couldn’t represent with all of Mexico or Puerto Rico or Dominican Republic or wherever the hell you’re from helping you out!! Being champion is about being a man of honor … such as myself, not about apples and fake TV shows. The Intercontinental Championship comes to me at WrestleMania 23. April 1st, YOU will smell like smoke, because you will go through fire … but unlike me, you won’t come out the other side!! Ladies and gentlemen, your soon to be NEW Intercontinental Champion, JBL, John … Bradshaw … Layfield.
The crowd boos as JBL slaps Carlito right across the face!! Bradshaw then lets out his patented toothy grin to even more heat before taking his leave.
In the parking lot of the arena, Stone Cold Steve Austin paces back and forth on his cell phone, while Ross and Lawler speculate on whom he’s speaking with.
WrestleMania Recall - WrestleMania 22 - John Cena defeats Triple H to retain the WWE Championship in front of an incredibly hostile Chicago crowd.
Match #4: Money in the Bank Qualifier:
Chris Masters vs. Sabu w/Bill Alfonso
Passable match up but with these two clashing styles, this match up is kept predictably short, with The Masterpiece dominating the early going until the high risk style of Sabu is let loose! Six minutes into it, Sabu manages to get Masters in the corner and is tosses a chair by Fonzie! The ref warns him of a DQ but Sabu has other plans in mind other than hitting Masters with the steel, setting the chair up in the near Masters. Sabu then charges and leaps off the chair, looking for the AIR SABU - but Masters catches him and tosses him, spinning him at the same time, GOING FOR THE MASTERLOCK!!! Sabu fights wildly, sliding down before Masters gets a chance to lock it in! The referee quickly grabs the chair, to avoid injury and SABU HIT’S A LOW BLOW!!! Sabu then rolls him up as the ref dumps the chair out of the ring and counts the cover! 1... 2... 3!!!
Winner: Sabu via pinfall at 6:42.
Sabu raises his finger in the air as the crowd gives him a nice hand. Fonzie whistles his whistle with both the death defying Sabu and Rob Van Dam both in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match.
The three Money in the Bank spots for Monday Night Raw have been set. The death defying Sabu, former WWE Champion and Money in the Bank winner Rob Van Dam and the young stud Ken Doane will be the three competitors in the ladder match come WrestleMania 23!!
I don’t care who Stephanie McMahon puts in for SmackDown!, there’s no way that a SmackDown! Superstar is winning that ladder match - not with the three guys Monday Night Raw has to offer.
Cut backstage with Stone Cold Steve Austin in the parking lot as Maria runs up to him.
Steve, Steve, can I ask you who you’re waiting for?? Is it your tag team partner??
Yeah, good job.
I said thanks.
Yeah I heard what you said. What else do you want??
Who’s your partner??
About an hour ago, I got a phone call. This man said he was already on his way to the arena. What? I said he’s on his way! Who was it from? What?! I said who was it from? That’s for me to know and for you to find out. Fact is, that silly bastard, Jonathan Coachman thinks he’s gonna throw Stone Cold off of his game by throwin’ these big jackasses at The Rattlesnake. ANH ANH!!! That just ain’t gonna happen. Kurt Angle can pull all the strings he wants, come WrestleMania night, I’m opening up the biggest can of whoop ass that that beady eyed bastard has ever seen and damn sure felt!!
Crowd cheers as Austin glares at Maria.
As far as tonight goes, whether Stone Cold is in there with a partner or on my own, you can bet your ass that there will be hell to pay … and that’s the BOTTOM LINE … CAUSE STONE COLD SAID SO(pop)
!!! Now get outta here.
Maria takes off as Austin continues to wait and we fade out.
Inside of the locker room of Edge, Lita rubs the shoulders of the Rated R Superstar whom seems to be in an incredible amount of pain. Soon, the door opens and the “Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels walks in, causing Edge to arise to his feet.
I’ll take that as a ‘thank you’ for saving you out there tonight.
Yeah, we’re about even for the dozens of times I’ve kept your ass out of the fire.
HBK lets out another smirk as Edge smiles.
I’m glad you’ve kept that sense of humor … because earlier tonight, it seemed like you were completely focused - obsessed on Randy Orton.
Very. I mean, I’d hate to think that you were overlooking Shawn Michaels. A man whose … quite frankly, beaten you on a consistent basis, a multiple time World and WWE Champion, a man whose gonna be in that ring … with you … come WrestleMania 23. Let me assure you, Edge, come April 1st, if you worry about revenge on Orton, or your head isn’t on winning the title … my title … you can bet the farm that the “Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels will be leaving that ring with title number six.
Michaels and Edge have a stare down before Edge breaks it with a chuckle.
Shawn, all of the distraction in the world won’t stop me from leaving with that belt. Besides, WrestleMania night, you’ll be too worried about being (makes a marquee/billboard with his hands)
THE SHOWSTOPPER, THE ICON, THE MAIN EVENT - (stops the mocking)
yeah, you’ll be too busy trying to get yourself over instead of winning the match. So I suggest you worry about yourself … and I’ll worry about me … and Orton. And the last time I checked the score card between me and you, I won the last match we had. Spend time worrying about you … and not breaking a hip and I’ll take care of the rest.
Michaels and Edge once again have an intense stare down before HBK smiles before turning and leaving the room, leaving Edge to sit and stew. Back to ringside with Ross and Lawler.
Ladies and gentlemen, just announced for WrestleMania 23, the WWE Women’s Champion, the ELEVEN MONTH reigning Women’s Champion Mickie James will take on Victoria on the grandest stage of them all!
J.R., when Mickie heads into Ford Field, she’ll be a victory away from a year long reign as champion … I hope that severe shoulder injury doesn’t effect her chances.
Shoulder injury my backside. At Saturday Night’s Main Event, Mickie was exposed by that fraud of a shoulder injury and don’t expect Victoria to take it easy on Ms. James come April the first. But we could see a clash between the two sooner rather than later.
Completely unfair. During the upcoming week, J.R will be conducting a sit down interview with both the champion and the challenger that will play here on Raw.
What a explosion that should be … but OHHHH that’s not all that’s happening next week. Our HUGE main event!! The WWE Champion Randy Orton will take on … the “Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels … with the Rated R Superstar as the special guest referee!! Man, what a main event!!
There’s no way that Edge will be able to be fair in that match up! He hates Orton!
Will he even be able to keep his hands off of Orton during the match up!? Guaranteed fireworks next week right here on Raw!!
In the parking lot, we see a backstage worker walk up to Austin and tell him something. Austin seems frustrated before snatching off his shirt and walking back into the arena.
Our tag team - possibly handicap main event match up is up next!! The Big Show and Umaga take on Stone Cold Steve Austin and … a partner of his choice-
Who hasn’t shown up!! Handicap match, J.R., haha!! And it’s up next!!
A car pulls up to the arena … … …
***Medal*** The crowd reacts somewhat quizzically but soon get the gist of things with tremendous heat as Kurt Angle, The Big Show, Umaga, Paul Heyman and Armando Estrada all make their way down to the ring as one huge unit, focused on destruction.
***GLASS SHATTERS*** Madison Square Garden completely erupts into an awe-inspiring ovation as Stone Cold Steve Austin walks down the entrance ramp, towards the ring, stopping at the edge, taking in the incredible sight of two monsters, their managers, and a Gold Medalist - one of the best ever.
That’s right, take a good look, Austin. You’re in for it now. He’s shaking in his boots, J.R. Handicap Match!
Austin isn’t shaking, he’ll never back down from a challenge but he’s got one hell of a match up to go through here tonight with The Big Show and Umaga -
***Errrrrrrrk … CRASH*** New York city EXPLODES into the loudest ovation of the night … as MICK FOLEY steps out into the arena. Everyone in the ring, looks around in complete shock, especially Estrada and Umaga as Austin smirks.
My Gawd!!! King … IT’S MICK FOLEY!!! MICK FOLEY IS HERE IN MADISON SQUARE GARDEN!!! MICK IS HOME!!!
This isn’t fair!!! What the hell is Mick Foley doing here!? Umaga left him for dead!!!
It was at Unforgiven in September of last year that Umaga put one of the most savage and sadistic attacks on Mick Foley that I have EVER seen but Mick Foley is back and you have to think that we could be in store for a good ol’ fashion ass kicking here tonight!!!
Main Event: Tag Team Match:
Steve Austin & Mick Foley vs. Big Show & Umaga w/Angle, Heyman, AAE
The match never really gets going since this isn’t about wins & losses, and Austin & Foley aren’t “spring chickens”. The non-participants quickly take off out of the ring and a quick brawl ensues between Show & Umaga and Austin & Foley!!! The two faces clear the ring but no sooner that they do, ANGLE IS ALL OVER AUSTIN, quickly leaping into the ring and taking Austin down with a shot to the back and begins to stomp away on him!!! The ref calls for the bell and calls for the disqualification!!
Winners: Steve Austin & Mick Foley via disqualification at 2:00.
Angle stomps away on Austin but Mick grabs Kurt and begins rocking him with hard right hands as the crowd chants “Foley”!! Mick and Angle brawl but soon enough, The Big Show and Umaga step back into the ring and yank Foley right off of Angle and fling him into the opposite corner!
Show and Umaga go to work on Foley in the corner as Austin gets back up to his feet and begins drilling Angle with some more hard shots, backing him up against the ropes! Austin then backs up and takes himself and the Wrestling Machine over the top rope with a clothesline!!
After a bit of a respite, the two icons continue to brawl moving around the ringside area, before Angle hit’s a knee to the gut and tosses Austin into the crowd!!! Angle follows over the barricade and once more the two incredibly intense superstars continue to brawl throughout the crowd until they disappear from camera view.
Inside the ring, the two monsters work over the hardcore legend before Show grabs him and tosses Foley over the top rope!!
Estrada and Heyman smile wildly as Raw’s most dominant tandem are booed viciously by MSG. Madison Square Garden soon erupts though as Foley gets back up to his feet, this time with a STEEL CHAIR!!!!
Foley slides back into the ring and Umaga charges, but he catches a chair shot to the gut and then one to back!!! Show runs at Foley and Mick drills him with a shot to the head … but Show doesn’t go down!! Foley rears back and hits him with another … but once again Show doesn’t go down!!! This time Foley shoots off of the ropes before hitting a sick chair shot to the skull … and Show goes down … but only to a knee!!
The crowd once again begins to chant “Foley” as Mick lets out a bit of a smile … but UMAGA IS ALREADY BACK UP!!!! Foley turns around and Umaga lifts him up before dropping him with a strong Samoan Drop!! The Samoan Bulldozer lifts Foley back up to his feet gets him set … and then rocks him with THE SAMOAN SPIKE!!! Foley rolls around on the ground in pain, clutching his throat as the crowd boos wildly.
Show shakes off those nasty chair shots, grabs Foley up and tosses him over the top rope to the floor below. Big Show and Umaga soon follow to the outside and The Big Show begins to clear the announce table of the top, monitors and such as Umaga rains down hard right hands on the forehead of Foley!!
Estrada pulls a cigar out of his chest pocket and breaks it in half as Heyman yells “DO IT!!!!” Umaga lifts Foley up to his feet and Show grabs him around the neck before DELIVERING A THUNDEROUS CHOKESLAM ONTO THE MIDLY PADDED FLOOR!!!! Foley’s head makes a sick thud and he doesn’t even move as the crowd groans fearfully.
Show then lifts Foley up and tosses him onto the cleared announce table as Ross and Lawler move a bit. Umaga rolls back into the ring and begins to ascend to the top turnbuckle as New York City rises to it’s feet, booing ferociously as Umaga gets his three hundred pound frame set on top. Show holds Foley down as UMAGA LEAPS OFF OF THE TOP TURNBUCKLE AND SLAMS THROUGH FOLEY WITH A SPLASH, BREAKING THE TABLE INTO PIECES!!!!!!!!
OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!! MICK FOLEY HAS BEEN BROKEN IN HALF!!! UMAGA HAS JUST CRUSHED MICK FOLEY RIGHT THROUGH OUR ANNOUNCE TABLE!!!!
What a way to make a return. The Big Show and Umaga just absolutely obliterated Mick Foley inside an arena that Mick has been in time and time again. That was … ugh.
Umaga gets back up to his feet, almost unfazed by the fifteen foot drop and lets out a barbaric yell; the crowd loudly chants “HOLY SHIT” before calming down, almost in a somber state as Foley has yet to move.
Are we seeing the most destructive duo that this industry has ever seen? Kane, Mark Henry, Mick Foley, how many others will fall at the hands of these monsters of annihilation??
If you were on the fence before, you now know, SmackDown! is gonna lose two of it’s biggest and best at WrestleMania 23.
Raw fades off the air with Umaga, Big Show, Estrada and Heyman staring down at Foley while referees soon comes to the aid of the fallen hardcore legend.
END OF SHOW
Current Card for WWE WrestleMania XXIII:
Date: April 1st, 2007
Location: Ford Field; Detroit, Michigan
Event Music: Saliva; Ladies and Gentlemen
World Heavyweight Championship Match:
World Heavyweight Champion Batista w/Ric Flair
vs. 2007 Royal Rumble Winner Mr. Kennedy
WWE Championship Match; Three Way Dance:
‘The Legend Killer’ Randy Orton w/Melina
vs. ‘The Heartbreak Kid’ Shawn Michaels
vs. ‘The Rated R Superstar’ Edge w/Lita
No Holds Barred Match:
‘The Great One’ The Rock vs. ‘The Game’ Triple H
Icon vs. Icon:
‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin vs. ‘The Wrestling Machine’ Kurt Angle
One On One:
‘The Phenom’ The Undertaker vs. ‘The Boss’ John Cena
Intercontinental Championship Match:
Carlito vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
Cruiserweight Championship Match:
Christopher Daniels w/Allison Danger vs. Rey Mysterio
Women's Championship Match
Mickie James vs. Victoria
Money In The Bank Ladder Match:
RVD vs. ??? vs. Ken Doane vs. ??? vs. Sabu vs. ???
Raw GM Jonathan Coachman’s Big Show & Umaga(w/AAE & Heyman)
vs. SmackDown! GM Stephanie McMahon’s Kane & Mark Henry
Match Banner Credit: Crazian
Gif Credit: will94