I'm sure not all black people are comfortable with the alternate "....." version either.
I'm not black but I find the word offensive in any form but I also recognize that it indeed does have two meanings.
..... is basically like saying (usually black) -......., -friend, -homie, etc..except more street/hood/rap style.
The -er version needs no explanation but I'll give one anyhow: It's what whites once openly called blacks to verbally debase them and to remind them of their 'place' in society. Finding a meeting place between these two meanings is practically impossible.
I wish the word would just go away, and I think the whole 'taking back' of the word has complicated matters greatly shown by this constant argument of the appropriateness of the word in which form and spoken by whom. (not just limited to this forum, I've seen it many times before).
I mostly see it's usage as stupid all around but there's also that 'in spite' of usage that I can understand too.
As in "you see me as a ....., but look what I've accomplished" because in a true racist's eyes, this is how they'll always view things no matter how far out of the 'ghetto culture' a black person gets.
Originally Posted by Glass Shatters
So what you're pretty much saying is that anyone who is not black cannot use the word based solely off of not belonging to the same culture as you but people who are black and come from the same culture can because it's then labeled as "banter"? The word in and of itself is inherently racist.
You can use the word all day. It might offend someone though because it's alternate version was built out of black culture. It's essentially theirs (the alternate). The original came out of white racist culture, hence the negative reaction to it even if you use the alternate. It's all so complicated. I agree still it's usage in any form is inherently racist but also understand that context does play a role and it can be said without racist connotation. That distinction is probably more difficult to determine if the speaker is not black or a good friend.