A Russian man was arrested late last month and charged with homicide after killing his friend by shoving a foot up his ass. Literally.
According to local reports, Vladimir Krasnov, 28, of Nizhny Novgorod had decided to make good on the oft-heard threat following a drunken fight with his 48-year-old friend Sergei over Krasnov's girlfriend Yelena.
Police say Krasnov waited until his friend passed out, and then proceeded to insert his right foot "into the victim's anus and rectum."
Sergei suffered severe internal bleeding as a result, and eventually died at the scene.
Krasnov was subsequently arrested, and now faces up to 15 years behind bars.
"All I can say [is] I really regret [it]," Krasnov told officials. "Nothing like this would happen if I were sober."
His girlfriend Yelena concurred. "It's just alcohol," she told a reporter, adding that Krasnov had nothing to be jealous about.
"With [Sergei] it was just 'hello' and 'goodbye'," she said.
I have so many questions about this:
1) Was he wearing shoes?
2) If he wasn't wearing shoes, what size are is feet? I'm just saying that there is a difference between a size 9 and a size 14.
3) Did he insert his foot one toe at a time or did he just shoved it all up in there?
4) Did he use lube?
5) Is he really going to blame it on the alcohol? Is that really his defense?
We need footage of Dean in Cena's dressing room touching everything and Cena's standing there like