Guy goes into a restaurant. He orders a bowl of soup for lunch. The waiter brings it out to him and he starts chowing when he drops his spoon. The waiter comes back over, and gives him a new one, right out of his apron.
"How did you know I needed a new spoon?" the lunch patron said.
The waiter replies, "We just had an inspection done by corporate. One thing they noticed is making sure we do whatever we can to save time on serving customers. In this case, I save time by not having to run back to the kitchen for a new spoon by having silverware here."
Throughout lunch, the customer keeps noticing everyone running around with strings hanging off their pants. Finally, as he's about ready to leave, he asks the waiter about the string, which is hanging off his zipper.
"Well, one of the things found in our inspection is that we waste too much time washing our hands. Too much time wasted, so whenever I have to do a number one, I pull down the string. Mr. Happy comes out, I do my biz, and I don't have to worry about washing my hands."
The customer seems impressed, then he asked, "I get that, but how do you get it back in?"
The waiter said, "I don't know about others, but I just use a spoon."
Thank you, I'll be here all week. Tip your waitress, but I wouldn't order the veal."