[Sticksy]

Seb, you forgot these 2

Why don't women need drivers licences?

Because there's no road from the bedroom to the kitchen

What have you done wrong if you're wife comes into the loungeroom to nag you?

Made her chain too long

[Y²]

What do you get when you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
[Spoiler] Deep Throat [/spoiler]

Why did the girl fall off the bike?

[Spoiler] She got hit by a fridge [/spoiler]

[TheSoulTaker]

What did steven gerrard do win Liverpool won the priemiership?

[spoiler] Turn off the PS3 [/spoiler]

What is the difference between Tottenham and a triangle?

[spoiler] with a triangle you get 3 points [/spoiler]

[dele]

Hours after the end of the world, a dispute between heaven and hell took place. Satan proposed a basketball game between the two sides to see who would win.
God replied, "The heat must be getting to your brain, don't you know all of the 'good' players go to heaven?"
The devil quickly retorted, "That's true, but we have all of the refs."




A man takes his seat at Lambeau Field. He looks to his left and notices that the there is a spare seat in between himself and the next man.
“Who would ever miss a Packers game?” Asks the man.
“That was my wife’s seat. We have been to ever Packers home game for the last 45 years, but sadly she passed away.” Explains the man.
“That’s terrible, but couldn’t you get another member of the family, friend or someone else to come with you?” Asks the man.
“No…..They are all at the funeral!”

[Deadman™]

How many men does it take to open a beer?

[spoiler]NONE! It should already be open when she brings it to you[/spoiler]

[dele]

How do you know that female hormones are in beer?
[spoiler]Because after you drink it you talk too much and you drive like crap.[/spoiler]

How can you tell if your wife is dead?
[spoiler]The sex is the same but the dishes start to pile up[/spoiler]

What's strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?
[spoiler]The back of my hand[/spoiler]

How are women and dog crap alike
[spoiler]The older they get, the easier they are to pick up[/spoiler]

What do a carpet and a college girl have in common?
[spoiler]If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them[/spoiler]

[Deadman™]

A guy is dating three women and can’t decide which one to marry. He gives each $1,000 to see how well they can manage money. The first one spends $800 and puts $200 in the bank. The second one spends $200 and puts $800 in the bank. The third one puts the whole $1,000 in the bank. Which one does he end up marrying?
[spoiler]The one with the biggest boobs.[/spoiler]


A visiting professor at Texas A & M University is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghosts?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well that’s a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you’ve ever seen a ghost?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost? 15 students raise their hands.

"That’s a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" Three students raise their hands. "That’s fantastic. But let me ask you one question further.....Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?" One student in the back raises his hand. The professor is astonished. He takes off his glasses, takes a step back, and says, "Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium.

The professor says, "Well, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost." The student replies, "Ghost? Damn..... From back there I thought you said ’goats’!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Whats the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
[spoiler]one makes your hole day and one makes your hole weak[/spoiler]




You know your canadian when u screw doggy style so both of you can watch the hockey game

[dele]

Originally Posted by Deadman™

You know your canadian when u screw doggy style so both of you can watch the hockey game

Or the Packers game....

[McQueen]

I'm doing this by memory so i'll write it out as best as I can.

So a man loads up his gun and walks out in the woods to go hunting. He's out for a few hours and sees a bear in the woods and fires at it but misses.

So the bear walks over the the man and says "Well gee whiz mister I really don't like being hunted and I especially don't like being shot at so i'm going to have to teach you a lesson".

So he bends the man over a tree stump and sodomizes him pretty good.

Fast forward a few hours and the man sees the bear again and shots and misses again. The Bear again walks over and says "You humans just never learn do you?" and the bear procedes to rape the man again.

So a few hours later the man sees the Bear again and shoots and misses, this time the bear walks over, sighs and just says..

"Listen mister, be honest with me..... this was never about the hunting was it."

[Rex Audax]

Bungee Jumping! $25 per person. However ******s can go for free... no strings attached.

Classic.