[Seb91]

What do you do when the dishwasher stops working?

[spoiler]Punch her in the face.[/spoiler]

[Sticksy]

Why don't women need watches?

Spoiler
There's a clock on the oven

[CM_Jobber]

One day, three boys were walking over a bridge when they heard a guy yelling for help. It was President Bush. He was drowning, and the three boys rescued him. He thanked them dearly and promised them whatever they wanted as a reward.

The first boy wanted $10,000, so Bush gave him the money. The second boy wanted a Ferrari, so Bush gave the boy a Ferrari.

The third boy wanted a wheelchair, Bush said, "Why do you want one of those, son, you're not handicapped."The boy replied, "I will be when my dad finds out whose life I saved."

[Postage]

I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about five minutes, and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?'

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a stupid idiot. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!

Then I really got angry at him. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner.

[dele]

What can a girl put behind her ears in order to make herself more attractive?

[spoiler]Her ankles[/spoiler]

[ThunderMan]

Whats Maddy McCann and a Russian Submarine got in common?

[SPOILER]They are both 200ft below sea level and full of "seamen"[/spoiler]


Whats the difference between a car and a dead baby?

[SPOILER]I don't have a car in my garage [/spoiler]


What did one pedo, say to another?

[SPOILER]Can I swap my one ten for your two fives [/spoiler]

Whats the difference between pussy and pie?

[SPOILER]You can eat your mums pie..........[/spoiler]


Whats the difference between a dead baby and a table?

[SPOILER]You can't fuck a table[/spoiler]


What noise does a baby make in a blender?

[SPOILER]Dunno, I was to busy masturbating over it [/spoiler]

[wolfmoon103100]

Whats worse than nailing a baby too a tree?
Pulling it off.

How does Kurt Cobain collect his thoughts?
With a mop.

What do you call a Black Jew?
A Heebro.

[Deadman™]

A man is dying from Cancer & his son asks "Why are you telling everyone that your dying of Aids?", the man said "So after I die no one will f**k your mother.

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A Flea named Bob is lying on a towel on the beach getting a good tan, he gets up to grab a beer and he sees his friend, Mike, walking across the beach looking all disheveled. "Hey, Mike!" says Bob, "Why do you look so bad? What happened?"

"Well," says Mike, "I wanted to go to the beach so I got in this guys mustache and he rode a motorcycle the whole way here so I got all messed up in the wind."

"No, no, no, NO, Mike," Says Bob, "what you do is next year get on an airplane and go into the bathroom, get up on the toilet seat and when the stewardess goes to the bathroom, jump up into her pubic hair, it makes for a great ride!"

"Thanks Bob, I’ll remember that."

So next year Bob is lying on the same beach when he looks up and sees Mike looking the same as he did last year. "Mike," Said Bob, "What happened to you, I thought that I told you to get on the Stewardess’ pubic hair."

"I did," said Mike, "I got on the toilet seat, just like you said, then, when she came in I jumped up on her pubic hair. Well it was so comfortable I fell asleep and when I woke up I was on some guy’s mustache on a motorcycle.

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The seven dwarves were in a hot tub feeling happy,then happy got out and now their f**king grumpy

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A man came home late one night and his wife asked where the lipstick on his collar came from.
He told her that he had wiped his cock on it.

[Sticksy]

Whats worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?

1 baby in 10 buckets

[Seb91]

Why do women have small feet?

[spoiler]Allows them to get closer to the sink[/spoiler]

Why do women wear white at weddings?

[spoiler]Matches the fridge[/spoiler]