Wrestling Forum banner
Status
Not open for further replies.

MrMonty and Headliner present WWF

86K views 1K replies 150 participants last post by  Headliner 
#1 · (Edited by Moderator)
Something a little different here. WWE, WF style. This is in the anything section because it's not a real BTB. The inspiration for the idea comes from Headliner. All production issues are my fault. The booking comes second to the name dropping and parallels. Roster is subject to additions and gimmick changes. If you are easily offended, look away. Anything said is meant in jest and should be taken as such. This is meant as purely light hearted, so no need to take offence. Some characters are original wrestlers which fit the mold of a particular poster, others are original creations. Feel free to check back to the roster to understand some of the gimmicks.

Newsflash

Meltziner report 4th April

WWF 6th April

Meltziner report 11th April

WWF 13th April

Meltziner report 18th April

WWF 20th April

Meltziner report 25th April

WWF Fusion

Meltziner report 2nd May

WWF 15th May

Meltziner report 25th May

WWF 3rd June

Meltziner report 8th June

WWF 11th June

Meltziner report June 14th

WWF Lightning

Meltziner report 20th July

WWF 8th August

Meltziner report 16th August

WWF 4th October

Meltziner report 8th October

WWF 17th October

Meltziner report 24th October

WWF Massacre


Friday 30th March
Wrasslin' Wrestling' Forums Arena​

As the pryo goes off, the crowd starts cheering loudly for the inaugural show of Wrestlin' Wrasslin' Forums. The build up to this occasion had almost been too much to bear for the tens in attendance, and the hundreds lurking from home.

2Slick: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the premier of Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forum! For some of us, the wait of the past 4 hours has been excruciating! I know it has been for me, at my age 4 hours is an eternity! The excitement in the air is tangible folks, and we cant wait to see what what's in store for us tonight!

Roman King: Funny you should mention that good old Slicky, in store tonight we have this snazzy WF golf shirt! Pick yours up now!

2Slick: Shut your piehole, King, someone's coming to the ring!

The words "Here Comes The Money" are heard blaring throughout the forum arena, followed closely by the ominuous beats of "No Chance in Hell". Rajah and Flash walk out onto the stage. They are greeted with a mixed reception from the fans as they saunter down towards the ring.

2Slick: The crowd here obviously has a lot of respect for these two men King, but that doesn't mean they have to like them.

Roman King: That, or they're afraid to boo them.

There is an awkward silence as both Slick and King look at each other, a sense of fear in their respective eyes.

2Slick: Lot of respect, lot of respect.

Roman King: Absolutely.

The crowd immediately goes silent as Flash takes a mic in his hand, everyone afraid to shout out of turn in case they get banned from the arena.

Flash: Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to hand the reigns over to the new man in charge, Rajah!!!

As Rajah takes the mic, Flash steps outside the ring where he can still be seen, just not as prominently.

Rajah: Thank you Flash. I'll cut straight to the point, I know what is best for Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forum, and what I say goes. If you don't like that, I don't really give a damn!

An angry fan from the crowd stands up and starts to voice his objection...

iMPACT: No way man, you have too much power!

Rajah: Banned. Now, moving along, tonight we will be determining the forerunners for the WWF's three main title belts; The Hardcore Championship, The United States Championship, and the World Heavyweight Championship.

The crowd cheers emphatically, drowning out the noise of a certain Steven Seagal fan knocking on the entrance door, insisting his WWF ticket hasn't been revoked.

Rajah: So without further ado, lets get this night going!

Rajah exits the ring, and walks back up the aisle with Flash, who was there all along, even if the crowd didn't notice him.

2Slick: Three title's up for grabs King, and the road to enlightenment starts right here, after this break!

Roman King: Yeah, I guess.

2Slick: You sure don't seem as excited as you should be King?

Roman King: Well, he didn't mention any puppies. I love puppies.

2Slick: There are other things beside half naked women about Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forums King, and one day you'll find that out! Stay tuned folks, we're back after this short break!

The camera cuts to a number of angry front row fans complaining to Admin.

Fans: Hey, we payed $10 for "bad ass seats", why are we stick in the back?

Admin: I lied.

It's another admin swerve!!!



Ad...​

As we come back, the camera cuts to one of, if not the most knowledgable man in sports entertainment; Super Delfin.

Super Delfin: In regards to a recent debate I've been involved in here at WWF, I would like to respond. You know who you are. Okay, by that logic we should not allow any TNA PPV main events from the past 6 months and no full TNA PPVs. However, Impact, PPV undercard, and old main event matches would be allowed. I guess Joe vs. Angle number one should be allowed to be posted in about 2 more months, sounds great right?

Since the only way to see a TNA PPV is to either order it or later buy the DVD, we are taking their money by allowing them to be posted. We should also not allow any other TNA DVDs such as 'best of' ones or The 50 Greatest Moments, etc., because the only way to see those is to (as you said with indy feds) is to order the DVD.

So go ahead and delete all that and get back to me on why Independent shows and main events aren't allowed. Thanks.

The camera pans back to the crowd, who are speechless. Upper management can be seen shifting uneasily in their seats, clearly uncomfortable with the pure logic that Super Delfin has pointed out.

2Slick: Emm, well, seeing as no-one seems to have any sort of response to Super Delfin, lets pretend it never happened and move on with the show!

"Ain't no stoppin me now!" starts to play as Diesel starts jogging down towards the ring, giving the fans high fives along the way.

2Slick: And here comes possibly the most all rounded athlete in all of the WWF, Diesel! Although, he doesn't exactly look fully awake...

Diesel staggers into the ring, dark rings under his eyes, a glazed look on his face.

Roman King: 5/10

"I am Arjun, you're teacher" announces the arrival of WWF's erudite wrestler. The crowd groans, knowing that they will leave this encounter feel ever so slightly more stupid than they began.

The match starts off with some back and forth action, with neither wrassler giving an inch. For every massively pixelated move that Diesel comes up with, Arjun counters with a move so complicated that no one can even pronounce. After the ten minute mark, a chance collision leaves the referee out cold, and Arjun lying in agony. Diesel reaches into his tights, obviously to remove a foreign object to finish the job. The crowd boos intensly as Diesel removes...as PSP!? Diesel sits in the corner and makes use of the free wireless internet provided by WWF, accessing the online community. Arjun regains his composure, and upon seeing Diesel enthralled on the official Smackdown V Raw 2008 website, gently leans Diesel back and pins him for the three count.

2Slick: That crafty Arjun just stole one! As God is my witness he stole one!

As Arjun exits the ring, the camera cuts to the backstage area, where Phenomenal1 is standing with KingKurt_UK, newly appointed member of the board of directors of WWF. Upon seeing KingKurt__UK, the crowd goes wild

Phenomenal1: So, KingKurt_UK, you've finally been promoted to the board of directors. how does that make you feel?

KingKurt_UK: Well, (insert 2000 word speech here where KingKurt gives credit to everyone but himself.

Phenomenal1: And how do you feel about tonights show?

KingKurt_UK: Good question. (insert 2000 word speech where KinKurt praises everyone involved with tonight's set up, except for himself)

Phenomenal1: That's all well and good, but dont you have red hair?

Before KingKurt_UK has the chance to reply with a 2000 word speech praising everyone who has red hair, everyone who hates red hair, and everyone who has no hair (bar himself, of course) Rajah jumps infront of the camera, a gleeful look in his eye as he towers above Phenomenal1.

Rajah: You're.....baaaaaaaaanned!!!!

Ad...​

2Slick: Welcome back folks to Friday night wrasslin'!

Roman King: Oh my god, puppies!!!???

Some very poor punk chick music starts to play as Brye comes out in a mini skirt, tank top and trucker cap. She gets into the ring, standing at each turnbuckle in turn acknowledging the crowd.

2Slick: Well King, you got your wish, there's your big bouncy puppies!

Roman King: Well, yeah, I suppose...they do look like puppies all right...

2Slick: What? King, you've been going on the whole night about wanting to see your puppies, why aren't you happy?

Roman King: I guess they are puppies all right...and yet I'm not horny in the least. Something is very, very wrong here...

Brye finally stops showing off to the crowd and takes a mic.

Brye: Today, I made a big decision, and I couldn't be happier. From now on, Brye is a single girl! So if any real men out there wanna show a girl a good time, let me hear you!!!

Half the crowd goes wild, while half off them seem perplexed. Suddenly, the camera cuts to the stage, where CM Weedman is walking out with a micraphone in hand, a sad look on his face. The crowd goes quiet.

CM Weedman: I used to do weed. And I used to have a gf. But my girlfriend just dumped me. And I cant afford weed. I love weed. And I love my girlfriend. But now I have neither. Straight Edge by cimcumstance. Without my girlfriend and my weed, I have nothing interesting to say.

CM Weedman drops the micraphone and slumps into the back. With nothing else to say, nobody expects to see him ever again. Brye gives a final flash of her ass before stomping up the ramp with a speed unbecoming of a lady.

Ad...​

As the camera comes back, we see Khali standing back stage.

Khali: gplpylpylyp mhmmhmhmha HHOAOAOhahshshiktkamreph.

2Slick: Well, that was some more non-sensical garbage from Khali.

Roman King: No change there.

At this point, I AM SlaM appears on the titantron direct from his kitchen where he is eating some pop tarts.

I AM SlaM: PWND!

"P.I.M.P" starts playing over the speaker, as Holt makes his way down to the ring. It might not be his regular music, but Holt saw a compilation video on youtube that featured the song, so no he uses it. Deal with it.

A loud "Wooo" gets the crowd on their feet. Derek 2k4 starts to descend the ramp towards the ring, fully kitted out in his new robe. The bat robe.


The match kicks off with the men circling each other. Holt offers a test of strength. Derek goes to accept, but Holt drops the hand and offers his other hand. Derek grins mischeviously, and offers his other hand as well. This pattern continues at an increasing rate until Holt breaks out into a Michael Jackson "Beat It" style dance. Derek, stands back, still grinning. Holt finishes his moves to the corwds delight, only for Derek to shout out "Hit it". The familiar beat of "What is Love" by Haddoway is pumped through the speakers, as Derek starts to nod his head. Holt looks on in shock, as Derek starts to move in rhythm with the beat, nodding his head like only Derek can do. The crowd goes wild as Derek throws an imaginary jacket on the ground, bounces off the ropes (all the time nodding his head in sync) and drops the elbow. Out of nowhere, Derek goes for the low blow. Holt smirks as Derek feels the power of the black man's crotch, recoiling his arm in agony. Holt goes for the small package and pins Derek for the 3 count.

As the victorious Holt walks backstage, KIF approaches the ring through the crowd. He grabs a mic, and rolls into the ring.

2Slick: This can't be good...

KIF: Rajah, I'm here to call you out. You stole $1000 dollars on me that I earned. I demand you refund me.

Rajah?

Answer me damn it!!!

Rajah appears on the titantron, laughing heartily

Rajah: HAHAHAHAHA

KIF: Why are you laughing, you bastard!?

Rajah: HAHAHAHA, look behind you fool.

Out of nowhere, Jax_the_ax rushes the ring and clobbers KIF on the noggin with his self proclaimed hardcore championship.

Crowd in unison: It's another Admin swerve!

Ad...​

We come back from the final commercial to find Role Model standing in the ring. His entrance took 6 minutes, so it made sense to have it during the commercial. Role Model is standing in the ring, as there is silence throughout the arena for a few seconds, until a great white Texan limo starts to drive down the ramp to Pyro's music. Pyro steps out of the horned automobile, and two steps his way to the ring.

The match starts off highly competitevly. Each opponent no sells the others offence, regardless of how factual it may be. This is match of personal bias, and facts aren't going to get in the way. Pryo is gaining the upper hand until Tempest runs down to the ring to cheer her man on. Role Model begins to mount a comeback, until out of nowhere, DDMac jumps through the ground and gives Tempest a playful nipple crippler. Incensed, Role Model immediately charges after DDMac, giving chase all the way to the back. Pyro does nothing, but stand and wait for the ref to reach the ten count.

Out of nowhere, WCW4Estrada and his monster CalUmaga start charging the ring. The crowd begin to chant, "Ratings, rating, ratings." Just as they approach the ring, CaL gets banned and WCW is sad. As the referee calls for the bell, announcing Pyro the winner, Legend can be seen ringside crying tears of joy. This is his day too.

Pyro grabs a micraphone, much to the annoyance of the crowd.


Pryo: Ha, what you have just witnessed is good versus evil. God versus the Devil, America versus the world! And America has won. I have won. Say what you will, think what you will, but the facts do not change. I am your victor. I am your champion. I am, your wrestling gawd!

The crowd boos loudly as Pyro does another little two step before exiting the ring.

2Slick: Bah Gawd King, what did we just see? I'll tell you what we saw, we just saw the birth of a new wrasslin' order! We just saw the birth of the newest product to hit the market! We just saw the rebirth of the anything section!!!

Roman King: Was Brye really a chick?

Fade to close​

Any feedback is gladly recieved. Again, this is meant in good fun. If you are offended, you shouldn't be. If successful, there are many plans for the continuation of the series. If not, meh, tried something.
 
See less See more
#145 · (Edited)
The second show. Delayed by a few hours due to internet restraints. Again, I must stress, no offence is intended. It's all in good fun. And to note, lot of time used in this one, and still not everyone could be used. There are still plans, but cant squeeze everyone into one show. So if your name aint there, be patient. Enjoy.

Friday 6th April
Wrasslin' Wrestling' Forums Arena​

The new theme tune for Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forums starts blaring out over the speakers, as "Black Betty" announces the start of this weeks show. Someone forgot to set up the pyro, so Nolo King and Jaycobo are sent out running around with a pair of sparklers. Might as well make some use of them...

2Slick: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the second Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forums event! It's been a long week, and much planning has gone into tonight's event after the overwhelming ratings from our premier show! I just hope tonight we're in for as much fun as last week King!

Roman King: You bet your elderly ass we are Slicky, coz tonight we're gonna see the beginning to the WWF women's division! I'm so excited Slick, I can barely keep it in! 8/10! Oops, I'm getting ahead of myself!

2Slick: Who would have thought you'd be the dirty old man out of the two of us King, but we can talk about that later, we've got our first event of the evening coming up right now!

"I spit in the face, of people who don't want to be cool" sounds out as Chaos descends down the ramp. He gives high fives to the crowd as he approaches the ring, even though they don't seem to be bothered. Although he obviously has skills, he has become lazy as of late, and the crowd simply aren't interested.

Charlie "Movement" Haas comes down next. Movement is putting quite some effort into his strut, and he is wearing truly ghetto clothes. As "California Love" blares over the speakers, everything about Movement screams African American. But the crowd aren't fooled.

Some instrumental music begins to play as the lights go down, and a solitary figure is seen on top of the ramp, hunched over with a robe covering his kneeling body. The crowd goes wild, expecting The Total Package EGame. Their disapointment is tangible as the robed man stands up to reveal is not EGame, but an impersonater, The Masterpiece, DG. DG walks down to the ring flexing his impressive muscles, and gets quite a lot of heat when he rips an EGame sign out of a fans hand and starts throwing it around. After all, that sign isn't his property to mess with.

Saxaphone music from an 80's porn film announces the arrival of Val "Metalic" Venis. The crowd look startled, wondering why on earth he is in this match? Filler?

With the match seemingly about to get underway, the self proclaimed hardcore champion, Jax The Ax, comes out onto the ramp and begins to approach the ring. Jax looks bewildered as to why his music isn't being played. Obviously no-one has told him that he isn't actually employed by Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forums, and declaring yourself a champion does not really mean anything at all.


The over the top Batal Royale in the hardcore division begins, and immediately, Chaos smacks Metalic over the noggin with a trash can, sending him tumbling over the top rope. Filler theory confirmed. The remaining participants proceed to use every weapon available to them to bloody and bruise everyone in sight.

As the match proceeds, a loud "Hey Yo" can be heard, and Big Sexy WCW and The Bad Guy AMPLine4Life start walking down to the outside of the ring, doubled over with laughter at the match going on. As DG comes bouncing off the ropes, WCW grabs his foot, causing him to fall face first onto a metal sheet in the ring. DG gets to his feet, dazed, and looks around to see AMP and WCW laughing heartily while pointing at him. With his back to the action, DG gets rewarded with a steel chair to the back. This only adds to WCW and AMP's enjoyment, as they start slapping their knees, tears forming in their eyes, their stomachs hurting from all the laughter. Movement finally, drags DG to his feet, and throws him over the top rope. WCW catches him in mid air, and throws him straight back into the ring. They're having too much fun to see DG escape so lightly.

With Jax on the top turnbuckle, and Chaos and DG trying to push each other over the top rope, Movement comes out of nowhere and delivers a drop kick to Chaos, sending both him and DG flying over the top rope. Just as Jax is about to execute a high risk manouver, AMP throws a bin from the outside, which catches Jax upside the head and knocks him to the outside, leaving Movement the winner of this hardcore Battle Royal. As WCW and AMP chuckle their way back up the ramp, Movement is left standing as the victor inside the ring. He does a little victory dance, which more resembles Vanilla Ice than Ice Cube, as the crowd applauds.


2Slick: That had the makings of a great match, if it weren't for those damn intervening fools on the outside!

Roman King: The crowd seemed to eat it up Slick, so I wouldn't be surprised if we see whole lot more of those guys in the future.

2Slick: The crowd might like it, but that doesn't mean I have to!

The camera cuts to backstage, where Shad "IC" Gaspard is performing his own material to a group of impressed onlookers.

IC: ...I ain't never standin' by, demand that lies leave you with hands thats tied/
Randomize my head shots like death plots that catch the first cat at my next drop/
Come to a dead stop, on the dime to assault your spine/
You crossed the line and wack cats don't get props for tryin'/
You costin' time, and you damn sure ain't worth no greenbacks/
So ease back before I lean back then swing forward to leave your teeth cracked/
And then your knee caps...I'm violently composed to corrode souls and hold flows/
Propose cold tones to show those who show boat that it's hard to breath with a broke nose...

As the crowd cheers, Super Delfin approaches from the shadows, where had been viewing the whole scene.

Super Delfin: Okay man, I really didn't want to do this. I tried to be nice and give you an opportunity to make it right, but you didn't. It would have taken you 20 seconds to edit/delete the original post, but instead you log off after reading my PM.

Look dude, plagiarism is not cool. I got banned from another forum for flaming a plagiarist and if I get banned from this one too, oh well. You should not take credit for others peoples work.


If you wrote/spit this today than why is posted by someone on another website in July of this year? Yes, someone posted this 4 months ago on another site. Someone with a username NonSpecific on another forum (with Dallas TX as their location) actually created this.

http://www.realraptalk.com/showpost....73&postcount=3


Look familiar? It should, it's the same 8 bars verbatim that you just put down. Google is an amazing thing.

For someone who claims to represent hip-hop, you sure have a poor way of showing it. Were you trying to look cool? What? I don't get it. I wish you would have just edited it like I asked you to and it wouldn't have come to this.

The crowd is stunned. The audience shocked. IC's head droops, and he quietly heads for the exit. Who knows whether he will ever return? As he is walking, I AM SlaM appears on the titantron, this time from his living room, where he is eating a Hungry Man dinner.

I AM SlaM: Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye!

Ad...​

As we come back from the ad, we can see KingKurt_UK backstage, giving a 2000 word speech on why IC was wrong to do what he did, but how forgiveness is important, and how we should always respect everything and everyone. Except him. As he finishes his speech, Maria "CarlitosCabanaGirl" Kenellis approaches him.

CCG: Hi KingKurt!

KingKurt turns around, prepared to give a 2000 word greeting.

KingKurt: H...oh...hi there CCG...

CCG: So how are you adapting to your new position here at WWF?

KingKurt: Umm, fine, I mean, good, I guess...

CCG: What did you think of tonight's opening match?

KingKurt: It was, a match, with, umm, you know, stuff. Cool stuff. I think.

CCG: And who are you looking forward to seeing tonight?

KingKurt: That's a really pretty dress...

CCG: What? Oh, thank you...

At this point both CCG and KingKurt start fiddling with their fingers and looking bashfully at the ground.

CCG: Well I have to go and get ready for later on.

KingKurt: I also have to run away awkwardly...

CCG and KingKurt both look at each other once more, before both turning on their heels and walking swiftly away.

2Slick: Haha, oh boy King, we might just have some puppy love on our hands!

Roman King: Puppy love = no ratings. Come back to me when it gets raunchy!

2Slick: You're a sick puppy...

The inoffensive "Why cant we be friends?" announces the arrival of Jeff "The Hurricane" DivaLover, and his partner in crime prevention, Mighty "Lady Croft" Molly. The crowd gets to their feet cheering, although most seem to be sneaking a peak at Lady Crofts skimpy superhero attire as opposed to cheering on Jeff.

"1, 2, ya hear the clock ticking" announces the arrival of WWF's MVP, Homicide. The crowd cheers enthusiastically at Homicide's arrival, the men respecting the blackest man on the payroll, the women respecting his bare chest.


The match starts off with Jeffdivalover attempting all manner of assaults on Cide, who brushes them off easily. On the outside, Lady Croft is cheering on her man enthusiastically, trying to get him some momentum. Jeffdivalover attempts the chokeslam, but Cide simply punches him in the face. There's no messing around from Cide here, he's not into these fancy tricks. A good smack to the nose will do more than any lucho libre crap for this man. As the match progresses, Jeffdivalover takes one final attempt to get the upper hand, with a flying clothesline. Unfortunately, he was more focused on staring at Lady Croft on the outside, and ends up knocking the referee out cold.

As Cide looms over Jeffdivalover, Lady Croft jumps onto the ring apron, trying to distract Cide with her womanly ways. Cide, not being one to mess about, walks straight over, grabs Lady Crofts head, and plants one right on her lips. Lady Croft looks stunned at Cide's forward approach. Behind him, Jeffdivalover comes charging at Cide in an attempt to clobber him. Suddenly, Lady Croft leans over Cide's shoulder and delivers a smack to the face of Jeffdivalover, knocking him to the ground without taking her eyes away from Cide. Cide grins in appreciation, and exits the ring, taking Lady Croft by the hand. As they walk up the ramp together, leaving a heartbroken Jeffdivalover in the ring, Cide is counted out leaving Jeffdivalover as the winner.

As jeffdivalover is shown with his head held down in depression, he starts to lift his head up to show how strong he is. Then suddenly a WWF veteran's voice is randomly heard.

OlympicZero: DAMN

After hearing that, Jeffdivalover puts his head down in shame as he leaves the arena.

Homicide: Ballin'

Lady Croft: I sure hope so...

Backstage, we see Kevin "Ricflair17" Kelly standing talking to The Rated R Superstar, NCIH.

Ricflair17: So, NCIH, tonight you'll be facing off against Holt in a qualifying match for Fusion. How do you rate your chances?

Before NCIH can respond, Ricflair 17 continues.

Ricflair17: I mean, on a scale of one to ten? And that brings up another question, what if you couldn't count to ten? And if you couldn't, how would you know many fingers you had? And if you couldn't count you fingers, how would you know how many to use in a punch? And if you didn't know that, how would you be able to punch Holt? And if you cant punch Holt, will he punch you? Can Holt count to ten? Is it fair to say if Holt can count to ten he has the upper hand in tonight's main event? Has he already won? Too many questions, too many questions....

At this point, Ricflair17 becomes very animated, and a pained expression comes over his face as he walks away mumbling to himself, his brain literally hurting from the random thoughts popping into his head, leaving NCIH staring at his back in sheer confusion...

Ad...​

As we come back from the ad, we see Jeffdivalover walking backstage, his eyes red, his nose running, his posture slumped. WCW and AMP approach him.

WCW: Hey man, no need to be so sad.

AMP: Yeah, you won your match. So who's the real winner?

WCW: Well, I suppose that depends your definition of winning AMP. I know I'd pick a hot girl over a countout victory in a fictional wrestling company.

AMP: That's true. Sorry man, keep on crying, you really did end up with the short end of the stick.

WCW: Does that mean Lady Croft ended up with the long...

Before WCW can finish his sentance, Platt and DavidEFC, "Right to Censor", interrupt.

David: We're tired of you guys.

Platt: Yeah, the rules are here to be adhered to, and that involves not flaming other wrestlers for no reason.

WCW: But, we had a reason. It was funny...

AMP: Sure as hell made me laugh...

David: To be honest, I don't give a damn. Rules are rules, and I wont stand by and see the breaking of the flaunted so brazenly.

WCW: But, it's only been half a show...

Platt: Yeah, but, y'know, we didn't have anything else to do but feud with you guys...

There is an awkward silence for ten seconds, with all four men seeming pissed off at the rushed booking...

David: Keep on making jokes and cracking on jobbers at your peril. We'll be watching...

The camera lingers at all four men eyeing each other up, before cutting back to the arena, where Tom the Snake Roberts is making his way to the ring. Tom has a drink in his hand, to no-one's surprise, and a micraphone in the other. Tom gets into the ring, and the crowd goes silent, awaiting him to speak. Tom raises the glass of whiskey to his mouth, and shouts out something no-one hears, before trying to take a swig of whiskey from the micraphone. Perplexed, it takes him a good 5 seconds to realise the problem, before he bursts into laughter at his mistake.

Tom: Alright lads, hows it going? Cheers to me, wooo!

2Slick: Good lord, someone needs to get this guy a cup of coffe and a bed.

Roman King: Now Slick, lets see what he has to say.

Tom: I dont really have anything to shay...

Roman King: Oh...

Tom: But I thought it only fitting that Tom and his shnake introduce the nexst fight. Who wantsh to shee Tom's python!?

The crowd cheers loudly, but the cheers quickly go quiet as Tom starts laughing and undoing his belt buckle.

Tom: Haha, well here it ish! Wahooo!

2Slick: My god, someone get that man a towel, or a napkin.

Tom: Jeez, it must be cold out here...

Tom attempts to pull his trousers back up, but the effort proves difficult with the whiskey in one hand, the mic in the other, and he ends up trying to pull up his trousers with his teeth. As he does so, he ends up falling sideways out of the ring. The crowd gasps, but their fears quickly turn to laughter as they hear Tom snoring loudly on the ground outside the ring.

Roman King: Now THIS is what I'm talking about!

King's excitement is made clear as Lady B Stratus comes running down the ring, her boobs flopping all over the place. The crowd go wild, as they know they're in for a show now.

Closely behind her, Minterz Melina follows. The collective gasp from the crowd is audible, as she drops to the ring apron and does the splits under the rope.

The next woman down the ramp is the high flying ex girlfriend of the Rated R Superstar, Rebel By Design. RBD neither runs nor showboats her womanlies to the crowd, much to their dismay.

The final participant in this womens tag team match is the sometimes psychotic, Aussie James. Aussie seems delighted to be here, and makes sure to high five every single fan on her way to the ring. She's had a long day in the office, so this is just the kind of release she needs.


Lady B and RBD start off in the ring, eying each other's outfits up. RBD seems envious of Lady B's voluptuous chest, but takes advantage of it by giving her a good stiff chop. Lady B is in shock, and as the equilibrium is restored, she responds with a vicious slap to the face. RBD is stunned, and all of her wrestling training goes out the window as she leaps on Lady B and they start rolling around the ring, gouging eyes and pulling hair.

Medo: CATFIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lady B jumps backwards, and tags in Aussie. RBD responds in kind by tagging in Minterz. The two go straight for each other, and the vicious nature of their violence shows that both women are trying to prove something to the crowd, and each other. As the fight progresses, a muscular masked figure comes storming down the ring. The lumps in the right places imply this is a woman, but her manly physique and manner tell a different story altogether. The masked woman leaps into the ring, and proceeds to destroy the other four women, throwing them all out of the ring respectively. As the crowd boos, the mysterious figure takes off her mask, to reveal, The 9th Wonder of the World, Catalanotto!

On the titantron, Admin is seen rolling around on a pile of $5 and $10 bills, gleefully giddy.

Admin: What? Oh, swerve, or something, wooo!!!

2Slick: Oh my god, did you see that!? Who in gods name is manly enough to stop that, that beast of a woman! If I didn't see the proof, I wouldn't even believe it is a woman! What woman can possibly match her for manliness!?

Roman King: Best. Match. Ever. 11/10.

Ad...​

As the camera comes back, Ghetto Coachman is standing inside the ring with a mic in his hand.

GA: I'm here for one reason, and one reason only. Holt, you bastard, you've ignored me for the last time. Not cool enough to be in your group? Not cool enough for your stable? I demand you come out here and give me some damn respect!

I'm waiting Holt. Man up, get your ass out here, and face me like a man!

There is some silence before NastyNas comes out and starts making his way down towards the ring.

NastyNas: Hold up GA, hold up. I agree with you. This is crap. All I do around here, and people like Holt dont give me no damn respect. I say we make a stand here! So I'm in. I hope this means I wont get ignored anymore.

As NastyNas and GA shake hands, Scotty "Trey B" Hotty emerges from the back and also starts walking towards the ring.

Trey B: Fo shizzle, I'm down with this yo. I can make it rain better than ANYONE!? And what do I get for it? Nothing dawg. Ima stand by you two on this. But don't get too comfortable bitches, you can be victims too.

As these three unlikely characters stand in the ring, determined of their cause, "P.I.M.P" rings out throughout the arena, and the crowd goes wild as Holt walks out onto the stage.

Holt: Are you guys for real? Are you seriously stupid enough to start beef with me? *****s please. Go home. I can make it rain better than any of you bitches. What are you guys good for? Well, I think Tina Turner said it best. Enjoy.

Holt smirks as Tina Turner's hit "I cant stand the rain, against my windows" starts blaring, and he walks backstage, leaving GA, NastyNas and Trey B fuming in the ring.

The camera cuts backstage, and we see Fail standing outside Rajah's office. Fail knocks tentatively, before walking in.


Fail: Hi Rajah, umm, can I take part in next weeks show? I have this great gimmick lined up where I could fail at everything I try.

Rajah: No.

Fail: How ironic!

The camera cuts back to the ring, where Jeff "Refuse" Hardy, The Total Package EGame, Rowdy Roddy Carl, one of a kind MrMondayNight, The football hooligan Sparki (this would be a lot more applicable if Burchill had actually used that gimmick, but lets pretend he did), and everyone's favourite underdog, RAS, are all inside a 15 foot steel cage. This match will determine the new United States Championship, and will at least give us one participant guarenteed a match at WWF Fusion.

As the bell goes, no-one wastes any time. While Carl and Sparki lock horns, MrMondayNight bounces off the ropes and does a lot of rolly polly moves towards EGame. The total package is not impressed, and immediately puts him in the rack. Meanwhile, RAS attempts to grab Refuse, who performs a standing jump to the top of the cage. RAS scrambles up after him, but Refuse executes another standing jump to the far side of the cage, balancing perfectly. In the ring, EGame has grown tired of racking MrMondayNight, and proceeds to rack Carl and Sparki in turn. RAS gives up on his futile attempts to catch Refuse, and leaps from the cage top towards EGame, who catches him in a perfect rack.

Refuse preforms a backflip off the cage, landing in the ring on one toe, before running vertically up the side of the cage and powering backwards, landing in a perfect tumble. The crowd are eating it up, although it doesn't seem like the best way to win a match. Sparki gets to his feet, and proceeds to attack MrMondayNight like only a football hooligan can, a firm grab of the goolies. Meanwhile, EGame seems puzzled. He's racked everyone he can catch, what to do now? EGame decides to stick with his strengths, and goes on another racking spree. Carl stands up, only to have Refuse bounce off his head mid leap.

The match goes on, and all the participants are growing battle weary. Except Refuse, who's still jumping around. Sparki is leaning on the middle rope for balance, and RAS spots his oppertunity. He charges towards the ropes with the intention of executing a 619, only to be thwarted by the cage. Seriously, how do you not see that coming? As the match draws to a conclusion, EGame has MrMondayNight, RAS and Sparki all in a rack at the one time. If this guy knew how to do anything besides rack people, he'd be lethal. With Refuse currently running at high speed around the cage, his body parallel to the ground, no-one notices Carl sneaking over to the door. Carl escapes, EGame collapses from suspected rack induced exhaustion, and Refuse breaks his legs by running across where there used to be a door and falling through. Carl is the winner, and the new United States Champion.

2Slick: That's what Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forums is all about folks! Stay tuned for the main event!

Ad...​

As we come back from the break, a video is airing on the Titantron. The video depicts ruined crop fields, cities in ruin, and ideolistic nonsense. "The Red Scare" is coming...

2Slick: What in the world was that?

Roman King: I dunno, but mysterious chicks are hot.

2Slick: Oh quit your yappin' King, you'd get up on a crack on the table!

"On this day, I see clearly everything has come to life" announces the arrival of tonight's main event, as NCIH arrives out through a wall of smoke. NCIH walks purposfully down to the ring, and grabs a mic.

NCIH: Well, before we get this underway, I'd just like to thank you all for being an awful crowd. No, seriously, from the bottom of my heart, you all suck. You suck at cheering, you suck at booing, your whole arena sucks! But hey, at least you're consistent.

NCIH grins deviously, before dropping the mic outside, and warming up in the ring. "P.I.M.P." announces the arrival of Holt, and the crowd goes wild. Finally someone they can get behind. Holt is accompanied by two of his Tornadahoes, RBD and The Main Event. Holt claimed during the break he'd have more, but he had them out running errands. With booty clapping goodness, Holt and his Tornadahoes walk towards the ring.

The match starts off quick, with both men getting one up on the other. NCIH finds himself getting distracted by Holt's Tornadahoes on the outside, with both women wearing what can only be described as belts for skirts. After some high risk moves from NCIH, and some downright manly shots from Holt, both men are down. NCIH regains his composure, and prepares to deliver the spear. As Holt gets to his feet, NCIH delivers an Ashley-esque spear, knocking Holt halfway across the ring. NCIH goes for the pin, 1,2, and Holt gets his foot on the ropes!

NCIH looks pissed, as he starts shouting abuse at the ref, Holt grabs him from behind, and delivers Dat ***** Dead! Holt goes for the cover, but wait! There's interference! As an audience member holds up a sign saying "How Unexpected!", Trey B rushes to the ring apron, distracting the referee! With his back turned, the ref is oblivious to GA sneaking into the ring and smacking Holt in the cranium with brass knuckles. As GA makes a hasty exit, NCIH flops an arm over Holt for the 3 count. NCIH advances to WWF Fusion, where he will take part in the main event NO DQ triple threat match for the WWF title!

As NCIH celebrates, Holt's women jump into the ring to make sure their man is ok. He looks up in anger, as Trey B, NastyNas and GA are walking slowly up the ramp. Holt grabs a mic.

Holt: Have you sons of bitches any idea what you've just done? The fun and games are over. No-one, and I mean NO-ONE disrespects me like that. Enjoy tonight while you can boys, because from this moment forth, all of you are just around the corner from Dat ***** Dead. Laugh it up, you have no, damn, idea, what you have just done!!!!

2Slick: Somebody call the cops, coz Holt just got robbed!

Roman King: Haha...you are joking right? I have some very questionable pictures on this computer...

2Slick: Never mind that King, tonight we saw Movement take the lead in the race for the hardcore title, we saw Carl become the new United States Champion, we saw a half woman half beast dominate the women's division, and we just saw NCIH move forward into the main event at Fusion! Role Model, Spartanlax, Chris Heel and Pyro will have to look over their shoulder, there's a new guy in town! Good night folks!

Roman King: Mmmmm, woman beast...
 
#301 · (Edited)
3rd show. I'm locked, I'm tired, and I need my bed, so apologes if the standard isn't up to scratch. I honestly cant tell, as I always find myself hilarious.

Anywho, no offence intended and all that jazz

Friday 13th April
Wrasslin' Wrestling' Forums Arena​

Ticket Attendant: Hello

Fail: Hi. I have a ticket to see tonights show.

Ticket Attendant: Ok hold on,

Ticket Attendant: For some reason, your seat has been placed on reservation for someone else.

Fail: Are you serious?

Ticket Attendant: Yes. I'm sorry. I'm afraid you won't be able to see tonights show. Please go away.

Fail: You can't be serious, I paid 65 bucks for these seats!

Ticket Attendant: You got pwnd. Ha!

The pyro actually goes off this week, much to the disappointment of Nolo King and Jaycobo, who were hoping for another cameo. It was plageurism pyro, and it burned -Lock- who was in the crowd.

2Slick: Welcome folks, to tonights episode of Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forums, coming straight to you live on this Friday night!

Roman King: This Friday 13th I might add Slicky. Most people are weary of Friday 13th's, but I celebrate them!

2Slick: Why's that King?

Roman King: The Olsen Twins were born on a Friday 13th!

2Slick: So was Margaret Thatcher...

As the filthy smile quickly fades from Roman King's face, "P.I.M.P" announces the arrival of Alabaster Holt. The crowd cheers, but Holt doesn't seem to notice them. He marches purposefully towards the ring, micraphone in hand.

Holt: Cut the god damn music. I'm out here to make a statement. Last week, I had the chance to qualify for the main event at Fusion, and I got screwed. I had NCIH in the palm of my hand, and I got screwed. I was three God damn seconds away from wrestling my way into a WWF championship match, and I got screwed!

The crowd does that mixed reaction that they do, where some people boo to show their support, and some people cheer to show their support. They really have to make a decision on that.

Holt: And you know what the weirdest thing is? I'm not even angry any more...

Holt says this with a calm voice and sadistic smile, and again, the crowd voices their support through a chorus of conflicting sounds.

Holt: GA, NastyNas, Trey B, I want to thank you three. Thank you for costing me my chance at the WWF title. Thank you for making me look like a punk. Thank you, for giving me a focus and determination that I haven't had in weeks!

The crowd cheer, very happy with themselves that they managed to get their reactions in sync.

Holt: You have no idea what you've done, you little bitches. I now have a purpose. I now have a goal in this business. And that goal is to make sure that NONE of you are ever the same again! Wherever you go, whatever you do, watch your backs. Because I am NOT "Down With The Brown"!

Tread softly, bitches, coz you tread on MY show. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some Tornahoes to attend to...

Holt drops the mic and exits the ring, walking back up the ramp with intent. The crowd cheers enthusiastically, impressed by the determination and passion displayed by Holt.

2Slick: There goes one pissed of man, King. I wouldn't want to be in any one of those guys shoes right now!

Roman King: I like what he's done there. Holt has sent a message to "Down With The Brown", telling them that not only is he out to get them, but that it's his sole aim right now. He's telling them that he isn't afraid, and more importantly, he's going hunting. Down With The Brown best hope he's not a good shot.

2Slick: What the...King, that's one of the most intellectual things you've ever said! Nothing about tits or ass, whats come over you!?

Roman King: See what happens when you mention Maggie T? Never say that name again!!

The camera cuts to backstage, where we see Flash on the phone, with Rajah watching on.

Flash: Look, I know you want to be on the show, but we both know you come with a certain price tag. You know how many wWF mugs we've sold so far? I'll tell you, it's not many.

Indecipheral babble

Flash: I know, I know, but we need a guarenteed return on our money before we can dish those kinds of amounts out. This is a business.

Rajah: Tell him we'll give him points to use in the WWF store.

Flash: We'll give you points.

Indecipheral babble

Flash: You...you wouldn't dare...

Indecipheral babble

Flash: Hey, listen, we can work someth...

Beep

Rajah: Well, is he coming?

Flash: Oh he's coming alright...he just isn't coming alone...

Rajah's trademark smile turns upside down as Flash whispers something in his ear (obviously so that we can't hear, and thus must come to our own conclusions about what was said, thereby increasing our own anticipation for what might happen).

2Slick: What was that all about!? And what do we have in store for you next? Find out, when we return!

Ad...​

As we come back from the ad, we see Movement backstage with CarlitosCabanaGirl about to interview him.

CarlitosCabanaGirl: So, Movement, you emerged victorious in last weeks battle royal. Does that make you the favourite to win the hardcore title at Fusion?

Movement: Girl let me tell you something, not only am I the favourite, I guarentee a victory!

At this point, the self proclaimed hardcore champion, Jax_the_ax appears behind Movement.

Jax: Showed up.

Movement: Who are you?

Jax: Salad.

Movement: To be completely serious for a moment, what does "salad" even mean?

Before Jax can respond with another random phrase, CarlitosCabanaGirl interjects.

CarlitosCabanaGirl: Jax, I probably shouldn't be the one to tell you this, but according to WWF.com, you're not even employed by Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forums...so how can you call yourself the hardcore champion?

As Jax prepares to answer the question with a one word inanimate object response, a garbage can comes flying through the air and catches him flush on the nose. The camera pans around to show Matt "SideFX" Hardy charging towards the two men. Just before he gets there, he gets nailed by a wooden plank to the knee cap from DG. All of a sudden, jobbers are springing from nowhere with the intent of killing each other.

As this backstage impromptu hardcore fight kicks off, it's almost hard to tell who's in the mix. Jax is getting battered by SideFX and Chaos, although Chaos's offence seem to be causing little harm, and no-one's quite sure whether he's actually there or not. Meanwhile, DG and Metalic are chasing Movement around the boiler room. He finally gets caught when the returning KIF manages to catch him with a pool to the goolies. For someone who claims to be so hard, he sure is acting like a pussy.

As the match progresses, Tom stumbles into the action, a whiskey bottle in one hand, his manhood in the other. A frying pan to face soon turns him back on his path, however. It seems clear who the strongest contenders are in the division. KIF and SideFX are dominating the opposition after gainging the upper hand early on. There position is strengthened by the arrival of WCW and AMP, who both pull up a chair, sit down with a bag of popcorn, and begin lobbing pool balls at anyone caught lying on the ground. Movement begins to make his way back to his feet, but a stray 4 ball catches him right on his love stick. This man's groin is really taking a pounding. AMP and WCW celebrate with a high five.

As AMP and WCW start a new game involving how far they can move the unconscious bodies across the floor, by means of kicks to the nuts, SideFX is gaining the upper hand over KIF. He sets up a ladder, between two chairs, with tacks underneath, and barbed wire on top, and drops KIF through the lethal arrangement with a Side Effect from the top of a pool table.

SideFX stands groggily to his feet, only to get knocked straight back down. The Vampire, MITB comes out of nowhere and clobbers SideFX with a coffin. The crowd seem to have no idea why MITB is a vampire, but assume that it's because he has no actual stand out flaws to be made fun of. As the camera pans to show the carnage, MITB is the only person left standing.

Except for WCW and AMP, who are busy spray painting 4-Lyfe on everyone's butt cheeks.

2Slick: Well King, there’s another example of just how far those guys are willing to go, all for the hardcore title!

Roman King: Hahaha, he kicked him! He kicked him right in the nuts! Hahaha!

2Slick: You’re not wrong King, WCW and AMP sure do seem to enjoy playing around with those guys, but how long before they meet their match?

Roman King: Speaking of meeting their match, look who’s coming down to the ring now!

As everyone turns to look, Catalanotto starts making her way down to the ring. She steps over the top rope, mic in hand, as the crowd boo intensly.

Catalanotto: Yeah yeah boo all you want, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m back, bigger and manlier than ever, and there aint none of those WWF Diva’s who can stop me! You saw what I did last week, without even working up a sweat, I destroyed those divas. There aint no-one, and I mean NO-ONE, who can stop me from completely running rampant all over the women’s division! In fact…

The crowd erupts with cheers as Catalanotto is cut off by the blast of some generic punk rock music, announcing Brye's arrival. Brye emerges onto the stage in tank top and mini-skirt.

Brye: Well well well, looks who's back.

Catalanotto: And who the almighty f*ck, if you don't mind me asking, are you?

Brye: I'm your worst nightmare darling. You see, I saw what you did last week. You think you're pretty hard beating up the diva's like that, don't ya?

Catalanotto: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.

Brye: Well, you're in for a very rude awakening hun. You see, I'm registered in the women's division, which means I'm in your league.

Catalanotto: What's your point? Am I supposed to be scared of you?

Brye: Not exactly, but you should be scared of this!!!

At this point, Brye whips off her mini skirt to reveal a very full leapordskin banana hammock. She, (or he, I guess...that's one big hammock..) he starts charging down the ramp. If this were a movie production, Brye would be in slow motion, with dramatic music in the back ground, and the crowd would be applauding and cheering, with an old man in the crowd saying "That's my son, damn it!". But this isn't a movie production. This is Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forums. So Brye runs down the ramp like a clumsy oaf, his hammock smacking off each thigh in turn, as the crowd shudder in disgust at the sound, the rhythmical slapping noice being too much for some to bear.

Brye leaps onto the apron, vaults into the ring, and prepares to speak the holy hell out of Catalanotto, only for Catalanotto to grab him by the hammock. Brye immediately freezes his assault, a single tear running down his cheek, as Catalanotto gives him one final twist before releasing. Brye collapses to the ground in pain.

Catalanotto: That's all you've got? That's your big bad defence? Hell, it wasn't even big. Enjoy the rest of your night diva's, come back to me when you actually find someone with the balls to stand up to me.

2Slick: Bah Gawd King, she's an animal! She's an absolute animal! God help those divas, coz nothing can stop that woman! Nothing!

Roman King: My eyes!!!MY EYES!!!

Ad...​

As we come back from the Ad, we see the West Texas Wrestling Legends champion Joe Kills All talking to some fans backstage.

JKA: You see, the thing about being a wrestler, is that when I wrestle against other wrestlers in my wrestling promotion that I wrestle in, my wrestler friends are always there to cheer on their favourite wrestler, which in this case, is me, JKA the wrestler. I'm a wrestler you see.

While the fans look on doubtfully, JKA doesn't notice Super Delfin walking up behind him, a folder in his hands labelled "'Smoke and Mirrors' - The False Career of Joe Kills All".

Super Delfin: As many of you know the member Joe Kills All has been claiming to be a pro wrestler for quite some time. However, evidence has come up in the past few days that points to the contrary.

For some time I have gone on record saying that I didn't believe he was really a wrestler. On other boards I've been to there have been indy wrestlers who are members and they don't brag about themselves post after post. That was indication #1. Who is such a mark for themselves that every other post is saying 'Hey, I'm a wrestler. Hey I'm a champ.'

He once stated he got paid $500 a show. Though he has since refuted this with me via PM (today actually) I clearly remember he claimed this months ago. For those of you that don't know, small time indy wrestlers do not get $500 for a show.

Not to mention Joe Kills All has also claimed to have never wrestled a match under 20 minutes in all the years he has been wrestling until a single recent match. I do not know of a single wrestler who goes 20+ minutes EVERY night. I don't care who you are.

Up until recently it didn't really bother me. I was in the minority apparently when I said I didn't believe he was a wrestler. That's fine, I mean I couldn't actually prove he was lying.

But 2 days ago a new member started posting here at WF. His name is Mosh Pit Mike, and he is an actual pro wrestler for the WTWL, the organization which Joe Kills All says he is the champion of under the ring name of Thunder.

If you haven't already, read pages 3 and up of this thread

How do I know Mosh Pit Mike is legit you ask? Well he posted customized pictures of himself, as well as pictures of the true WTWL champ Thunder. And guess what? It isn't the same person Joe Kills All has posted in pictures of 'himself'. Don't believe me? See for yourself...

Joe Kills All's pic

The real WTWL champ Thunder

Not only this, but Joe Kills All also wrongly identified Thunder as someone who goes by the name of either Havoc, Livewire, or Mike Kendle on page 3 of the thread above. I'm not sure which one he was supposed to be.

Also, Mosh Pit Mike has put his picture on the WTWL wrestling website under the talent section as he said he would do. Which further verifies his case and makes me believe him over JKA.

As if all this wasn't enough, Joe Kills All also registered under the username of bigshow55 pretending to be a fan of himself. This was verified by Platt222 who said the IPs match, and Joe Kills All himself in a PM to me as well as in the thread 'What a Week' which I linked to above.

Originally Posted by Joe Kills All 11/06
What a week for me and my crew. 1 week in Chicago will make or break you as a performer. Just wondering who on this forum went to one of the three events on my sig? That was the first time in 3 years for me to perform in front of a Chicago crowed, and as much as i loved it i'm glad it's over.

So who besides loca on weforums was there to see it live
?
Originally Posted by bigshow55, 2nd post in the thread
Hey i was there, you know that too, so why did you live me out of that list?

Shame on you
and after Mosh Pit Mike began questioning and getting other people to question JKA, bigshow55 came up again to JKA's defense

Originally Posted by bigshow55, remember this is Joe Kills All
You guys are funny, I know for a fact that Michael Barry is Joe kills all. I have seen him like 100's of times, in fact I just saw him last weekend at a show. He hooked me up with tons of free tickets for my family. This new poster is an ass for strating this shit.
Pretending to be a fan to verify your identity? It doesn't get much worse than that.

I am also awaiting a PM from the admin of the WTWL board to answer questions about various pictures which were posted in the 'What a Week' thread. Due to the overwhelming evidence against him at this time, I doubt they will help Joe Kills All's case in any way.

Ladies and gentlemen, you have all been lied to by this man for months. Joe Kills All is not a pro wrestler, he is a liar. He insults you, me, the business, the wrestler he pretends to be, and the organization he says he works for.

There is stunned silence for a few moments, before everyone in the entire arena starts laughing their head off. Except for JKA, who goes looking the costume department for a new gimmick.

2Slick: Moving right along, I believe we have a special guest joining us for commentary for our next event, welcome to the United States champion, Carl!

Carl: Ay, it's good to be here guys.

2Slick: Um, I'm sorry Carl, what did you say? I don't speak Welsh.

Carl: I'm not speaking Welsh, its just the auld accent.

2Slick: Please Carl, there's not much point in you doing commentary if only going to speak in a foreign language no-one understands.

Carl: I'm not speaking Welsh. I'm speaking English.

2Slick: Did you just curse at me in Welsh?

Carl: No y'auld fart!

2Slick: No-one curses at ME in Welsh! King, take that micraphone off of our "guest"!

While Carl tries to speak in various different accents to get through to the increasingly aggrivated Slick, the participants in this 6 man tag team match have already made their way to the ring. Refuse, Sparki and RaS against EGame, MrMondayNight and Diesel.

The match kicks off with EGame and RaS squaring off. RaS has learnt from last weeks match, and is keeping his distance from the lumbering rack machine. RaS quickly darts around the back of EGame, and hits him with a swift kick to the calf. EGame grunts, and slowly turns around to his left side, with his racking arms outstretched, only to recieve another swift kick to the other leg. EGame again grunts, and begins the slow journey around to his right. This process continues for a while, with RaS sprinting around like a little spitfire, and EGame struggling to catch him. Kick, grunt, turn, run, kick, grunt, turn, run. Eventually, EGame seems to snap, and out of desperation, he lunges forward, catching RaS with a bionic elbow. The crowd gasp in awe, never suspecting to see EGame add some offence to his rack repertoire.

EGame makes the tag to Diesel at the same time that Sparki gets the hand from RaS. Diesel leaps into the ring with the agility of Lara Croft, and dives at Sparki ala Max Payne. Sparki is not impressed, and dodges the dive. He in turn jumps on top of Diesel, shouting such obscenities as "Dya want some!?", "Av it!", and "The referee's a wanker!". Sparki manages to lump Diesel with a few headbutts, before Diesel makes a Tekken like tag to MrMondayNight, which catches the footie hooligan off guard. MMN proceeds to allow Sparki to catch his foot, wait 5 seconds to get his balance, and then perform a ridiculous looking spinning kick.

MMN, Diesel and EGame manage to isolate Sparki, performing bionic elbow after lame ass kick after hadoken. Tom tries to come down to make the save, but the steep incline is simply too much for him, and he ends up flat on his face. Sparki finally gets his break when EGame lunges at him for another bionic elbow and misses, instead hitting the referee. Sparki gets the hot tag to Refuse, who leaps into the ring. The crowd are pumped as Refuse jumps straight over EGame, landing on the turnbuckle. All three of the opposing team charge at him, only for him to backflip off the turnbuckle behind them.

EGame, not being the brightest of sparks, picks up Diesel in the rack, feeling very proud of himself for finally catching Refuse. This causes a fight to break out amongst the team of Diesel, MMN and EGame. Sparki, who loves a good scrap, in turn grabs a chair and smacks RaS over the head, shouting "Who are ya!?Who are ya!?". Refuse reacts to all this commotion by sticking safety pins through his legs, while performing a hand stand on his head. No-one notices Carl getting into the ring, and destroying all 6 men with a weedwhacker.

That's Carl for ya. He doesn't have to do much to steal the show.

Roman King: Where the hell did he get a weedwhacker from!? He's just obliterated the entire division! At this rate, there'll be no-one left standing to face him at Fusion!

2Slick: Stupid Welsh Bastard...

Ad...​

NCIH: Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, is a historic night. As you all saw, I, NCIH, was resoundingly victorious last week to qualify for the main event at WWF Fusion. And tonight, I'm going to invite two people, who share no love, and will be competing next week for the final spot for the main event at Fusion. My first guest is often regarded as the bad guy, but you have to take him with a pinch of salt. Allow me to introduce, Role Model!

The crowd boos loudly as Role Model comes out to "The King of Kings". Role Model forgot his bottle of water, so he just spits on the fans in attendance.

NCIH: So Role Model, next week you face Spartanlax for the chance to compete in your very first WWF title match. How do you rate your chances?

Role Model: It's no contest, and anyone with half a brain can see that.

NCIH: Care to elaborate?

Role Model: No.

NCIH: Hey, you're on my show, and you will answer my questions!! Spartanlax told me you'd be like this.

Role Model: Lol, why you hatin' NCIH? Don't be listening to that "Spartanfag".

"Sexy Boy" announces the arrival of The Heartbreak Kid, Spartanlax. Lax walks confidently towards the ring, pausing every now and again to play to the crowd. Lax enters the ring slowly, and sizes up the situation.

Spartanlax: Allow me to make an anology about our upcoming match nest week using gifs, if you will. I am Randleman. Role Model, you are Fedor.



To summarise, you're gonna get killed.

Role Model: Very funny.

Spartanlax: Do you ever say anything that isn't sarcastic?

Role Model: No, I never say anything that isn't sarcastic.

Spartanlax: Case in point.

Role Model: Look, I used to have to pay attention to you. You used to be someone. Who are you now? You were in a position of authority in Wrasslin Wrestlin Forums, but you stepped down. Why in the hell should I care about anything you have to say?

NCIH: Hey, hey! This is my show, you are my guests, so pay attention to me! You see, both of you seem to be forgetting something. It doesn't matter who wins tonight, and it doesn't matter which one of you wins next week. That wont change the fact that I am already in the match, and therefore, everyone knows who's going to win.

Role Model: To take a page from Lax's book, allow me to respond to that statement with an analogy, using gifs. Imagine I am the maker of this gif, and you are the viewer of this gif.



NCIH: You know what? This show is over! Now get the hell out of my ring!!!

Role Model and Spartanlax simply smerk at NCIH as they leave the ring.
As Role Model and Spartanlax make their way up the ramp, each not taking their eyes off each other, NCIH stomps around the ring, wondering where he had lost the crowd.

The camera cuts to backstage, where CarlitosCabanaGirl is seen walking down a hall, only to be stopped by Phenomenal1.


CarlitosCabanaGirl: Oh, hey P1

Phenomenal1: Hi, listen, since I'm back, you don't have to do any more of the backstage interviews. I'll take care of it.

CarlitosCabanaGirl: Oh. Well, surely there's room for the two of us? I mean, you can do the serious stuff, and maybe I could just do the odd interview here and there?

Phenomenal1: No, that doesn't work for me. Why don't you just toddle off home? You're not needed here any more.

CarlitosCabanaGirl: Well, well, maybe I can just stick around and watch for a while?

Phenomenal1: Listen bitch, GFY. Get out of my sight.

CarlitosCabanaGirl's head drops in disappointment, and she slowly starts to walk towards the exit.

KingKurt_UK: Hey, you aint going nowhere! Now listen to me you big meanie P1, no-one talks to my girl like that! I'm going to give you one chance, just one chance, to apologise. I strongly suggest you use it, if you know whats good for you!

P1: GFY as well.

At this point, KingKurt explodes with anger. His face flushes (to match his hair), his fists clench, his whole body shaking with anger.

KingKurt_UK: That's it! You've done it now! That's just too far! You sir, are going to get a sternly worded letter from me!

KingKurt proceeds to sit down and start writing out a 2000 word letter to P1 explaining why he's a big meanie.

CarlitosCabanaGirl: "Your girl?"...

2Slick: Ladies and gentlemen, we bring you now live to the parking lot where we believe Jeffdivalover has just arrived.

The camera pans to the outside where we see Jeffdivalover pull up in an old pickup truck. He steps out, only to come face to face with "4lyfe", WCW and AMP.

WCW: Hey, look who showed up!

AMP: Jax?

WCW: Nah, it's that jilted McDonalds guy.

Jeffdivalover: I dont work at McDonalds.

AMP: Nice hairnet.

Jeffdivalover: Thanks..err, I mean, it's a shower cap...

WCW: You have to shower before your shift in McDonalds?

Jeffdivalover: Yeah they're really strict about, I mean, I guess, my friend said they are. He works there.

AMP: With you?

Jeffdivalover: No actually! Ha! He works weekends I work weekdays! Haha, I outsmarted you!

At this point, WCW and AMP stare at each other for a few seconds before exploding with laughter. Their fun is cut short however, as DavidEFC and Platt emerge from the back entrance.

DavidEFC: What did we tell toy guys last week.

WCW: That the rules had to be adhered to?

Platt: Correct. And where exactly does it say that harrassment of other wrestlers is allowed?

AMP: Well, it doesn't, but I mean, come on, these guys are losers.

DavidEFC: That's only your opinion, and last time I checked, your opinion counted for shit.

WCW: Ha, at least we it counts more than the entire hardcore division, ha!

Platt: Think that all you want, but next week, we challenge you guys to a "pick your partners" match. We pick a team, you pick a team, and if we win, you guys can do whatever you want. But if we win, you guys have to stop cracking jokes and beating up on jobbers. Deal?

AMP: Your on. See you guys next week.

As WCW and AMP walk away, mikeie runs up to DavidEFC and Platt.

mikeie: RTC, pick me for next week! Look, I can totally censor people! "Warning, warning, and warning some more!" I'll warn anybody, for anything!

Platt: True...but you suck.

Ad...​

The camera shows Nolo King talking to hisself. It appears that he keeps saying "lawls". Out of no where 100%Caborn comes & lays out Nolo King with a lead pipe.

CarlitoCabanasGirl: What did you do that for?

100%Caborn: Lawls

After that, 100%Cabron simply walks off.

The camera shifts back to show an arrogant, intense Pyro. Ready to deliver a solo promo.


Pyro: Tonight, my opponent is a man who is known for logic and defense. A man who thinks before he speaks. A man who can debate with the best of them. But guess what? He has never come face to face with a man like me. A wrestling gawd! A self-made millionare. Tonight, you will be humbled by greatness. And I will move on to Fusion to take what is rightfully mine. And that is the WWF Title.


The camera shows the hot crowd, which only intensifies as one of the biggest names in sports entertainment makes his kick ass entrance. Chris "Batista" Heel makes great use of the pyro to make his character seem more enjoyable than it has any right to be, before making his way down to the ring.

The match kicks off in typical fasion. Chris Heel performs some truely awesome offence, but Pyro reacts in the manner he knows bets. Ignoring it.

Chris Heel responds with more intricate manouvers, his style adapting to the predicament he finds himself in. Pyro, ignores it.

Pyro goes for the clothesline from hell, but Chris Heel ducks beneath the attempted finisher, delivers a stern kick to the abdomen, and shoves Pyro between his legs. The corwd goes wild as Chris Heel lifts Pyro onto his shoulders, pausing for a moment, before delivering an arena shaking Heel Bomb. Chris Heel goes for the pin, but before he can even get Pyro's shoulders down for the one count, Pyro stands right up again.

He ignored the devestating finsher.

The frustraton on Chris Heel's face is apparent. This isn't how it's supposed to go. He's not used to delivering such devestating offence, only for it to be completely disregarded. As Chriss Heel complains to the ref about how comprehensive his finisher was, Pyro bounces off the ropes and delivers a truly thumping clothesline from hell. Chris Heel, although not knocked out, is a company man, and lies down for the three count, leaving Pyro the winner of this weeks main event in very quick time. Chris Heel did the job, but his outbursts can be heard thoughout the arena.

Heels rant is cut short, however, by some eerily depressing music. The arena goes dark, and the Red Scare video fom last week is replayed. Heel looks on in astonishment as the figures emerge from the backstage area, those being Imperfect, Hypnotiq and Killa Cali.

The ground behind The Red Scare is left burned to a cinder as they approach the ring. Heel seems unsure of what to do, until it is too late. The Red Scare proceed to destroy Heel with a combination of chairs, tables and an aexcellent blade job by Heel. As they roll his limp body out of the ring, The Red Scare are left celebrating in the middle of the ring.

The camera cuts to backstage, where we see two shadows walking through the hallways. The wrestlers part like the red sea for the two unknown figures, who stirde purposefully down the corridors. The shadows stop at Rajahs.s door, before pushing the door wide open.

Rajah: Who dares enter my office without knocking?

Unknown voice: Actaully, we do Rajah.

Rajah: What the....!? Oh shit...

2Slick: What the hell is going on!? Tom doesn't know who he is, Catalanotto is destroying everyone with boobs in sight, we have this new "Red Scare" beating the hell out of Chris Heel, and to top it all off, have you ever seen Rajah scared before!?

Roman King: Ummm, no?

2Slick: Whats going to happen? Tune in next week to find out!
 
#710 ·
Shows up. Creative credit must also be given to AMP on this one.

That's AMPLine4Life. Green rep or points.

Wrasslin Wrestlin Forums
Sunday 3rd June​

The show opens. There's pyro. There's a mediocre crowd. Telf and Wholedamshow are holding identical signs. MNMitteamonscene has both male and female genitalia.

This must be WWF.


2Slick: Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen to tonights edition of Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forums, and we've got some show in store for you tonight folks!

Roman King: We do? What's coming up Slick?

2Slick:Actually, I have no idea. They told me to say that.

Roman King: How very unprofessional.

2Slick: You weren't meant to ask me any details.

Roman King: What was I supposed to do?

2Slick: The same thing you do every night, rate boobs.

Roman King: You know, I come across very one dimensional on this show, it's not fair.

2Slick: Look, boobs.

Roman King: 7/10.

2Slick: Pwnd.

Roman King: I hate you.

Some Mexican music starts to play. A Mexican flag descends from the roof. Mexican food is thrown to the audience, and the air conditioners start exerting Mexican air.

It's "Main Event" Josie Quadrero. She is being accompanied to the ring by Super "Jacker" Crazy. He is super. He is crazy. He is affilliated with various gangs throughout his neighbourhood.

It appears, appears, that these two are Mexican...

Lady B makes her way down to the ring to a very British ovation from the crowd. Tea, crumpets, and some Benny Hill style policemen chasing a hooligan around.


The match starts off in a stereotypical fasion, as is to be expected considering the combatants. Lady B attempts a very English attack, and prepares to engage in fisticuffs. Main Event has no idea why Lady B is standing in such a manner, and hits her with a Mexican slap to the face.

Those things sting.

As the match progresses, Jacker becomes more and more animated on the outside. He is quickly distracted however, by the emergance of Lady Croft from the entrance way, as she calmly walks down to the ring. Jacker intercepts Lady Crofts walk to the ring, and begins to chat in a very flirtatious Mexican manner. Main Event is obviously unimpressed, and screams her Mexican opinion at him. Lady B takes advantage of the misdirection, and gets the ROLL UP pin for the win.


Jacker, Main Event, and Lady Croft are all pissed, as Lady B jumps around the ring with delight from her victory. The crowd goes mad...as would you if you saw these bad boys bouncing around.

DAMN.

Lady B's delight is short lived, however, as Jacker calls upon the Latino Nation to storm the ring. Out of nowhere, there are 15 Mexicans and one obligatory caucasian charging towards the ring, knives out. Lady B has no where to run, but thankfully The Latino Nation is scared off by one lone fat policeman who happens to be ringside. The Latino Nation scarper, Jacker somehow got a busted lip, Main Event cursed in Spanish, and Lady B and Lady Croft are left eyeballing each other.

The camera cuts to backstage, where King Bookah is seen talking to McQueen.


King Bookah: So, long story short, Vaseline works just as well :agree:

McQueen: When you talk, it makes my ears sad.

A group of wrestlers suddenly rush past King Bookah and McQueen.

McQueen: Where you guys going?

Jerichoholic: NEW 4LYFE VIDEO IS UP!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dlqyp79WPvs

Ad...​

As we come back from the ad, we see CaLi sitting on his own backstage. He looks sad. Telf approaches him.

Telf: Why so glum CaLi? Whats grinding your gears?

CaLi: Don't plagiarise Peter Griffen. I'm pissed because HPQ is gone for good for complaining to management, and Imperfect is gone on a road trip to see Skyler dressed as some robot. I'm left on my own.

Telf: :hb

CaLi: Don't plagiarise Killa CaLi. It's not happy birthday at all, I have no partners. You need to GTFO.

Telf: Sorry. So, why so glum CaLi? Whats grinding your gears?

CaLi: Don't plagiarise yourself. I already told you. Please GTFO.

Telf: You suck.

CaLi: Kurt Angle. Go.


CaLi: Son don't make me get out my chair. If I have to get out my chair, someone's gonna get their ass whipped.

Telf leaves. As it appears he wants nothing to do with CaLi.

The camera cuts back to the ring, where Flash is making his way down to ringside with Slam and Perfect at his side.

Flash: REMEMBER ME!? Of course you all remember me. I know my Dad certainly does. The reason we are out here is one of great importance.

We want to gloat.

Slam: The old one speaks the truth: You see, last week The Slam managed to make an impression here at WWF. Some of you may have thought of The Slam as a happy go lucky guy. As a guy who was here just to have a bit of fun. Well, as Pyro found out last week, The Slam is more than that! So take a big ol chunk of lube Pyro, rub that lube all over your reverse pie, and prepare to feel The Slam's metaphoric power!

Perfect: What?

Slam: The Slam may be somewhat high at this current point...

Perfect: ....

Slam: :D

Perfect: Carl, I owe you an apology. Last week when I hospitalized you, I didn't give you a reason why. That was not fair of me, and I'm sorry. The reason why I destroyed you was to make a statement. What you stand for is simply unacceptable. You represent everything that is wrong with WWF today, and I cannot stand by and do nothing about that. It wouldn't be very Perfect of me, now would it?

Before Perfect can speak any further, Carl comes out onto the ramp with a mic in hand.

Carl: If you wanted to make a statement, you could have wrote me a letter. That shit was just mean :(

2Slick: Welsh Bastard...

Carl: You know you guys piss me off. You come out here acting all high and mighty, well let me tell you something. I work damn hard for wWF. I make everyone look awesome, and I'll be damned if I let some bunch of has beens challenge that!

At this point, Pyro walks out with his WWF championship gold around his waist. Yeah, he's still champ. Fuck the haters.

Pyro: I hope you guys dont mind if I join the fun here, but it seems to me that there's a whole lot of big talking going on, and not enough big walking. NOw...

Before Pyro can continue, Rajah's music hits, and he also walks out.

Rajah: Someone said big walk? I dont care who said it. Shut up. All of you. No one makes the decisions around here but me! So, with that, it's time to make some decisions. Carl, in two weeks time you will be defending your United States championship against Mr Perfect, at the WWF PPV, Lightning!

The crowd pops for this announcement, and blatent rip off name.

Rajah: Not only that, but Pyro will be defending his WWF championship against none other than The Slam! And you Flash, you and I are going to sort out our differences like mature adults. In a street fight! At Lightning, you're going down son!

Flash: :lmao, did you just challenge a guy named Flash to a match at a PPV called Lightning!? Seriously Dad, talk about a bad omen.

At this point, there is a thunderous clap of, well, thunder. Some dark eerie music starts to play, and the arena goes dark. A deep voice comes over the PA.

Deep Mysterious Voice: Flash, it is more of an omen than either of you could ever fathom. You can have your petty little fights, but everyone seems to be forgetting about the one, true power of WWF. Some have forgotten us, others are too young to remember, but we are still here. And we will destroy you. You want to talk about omens? Here's an omen for you.

The lights suddenly go back up, and standing beside both Rajah and Flash respectively, is a coffin. Both Rajah and Flash look stunned, and the voice comes back over the PA for a final chilling message.

Deep Mysterious Voice: Flash, Rajah, you will both, Rest...In...Peeeeeeeeeeace

Out in the parking lot, HPQ is playing a game of hide & seek with the security guards in hopes that he can get back into the arena. As soon as the guards turn his back, he runs to a corner behind a dumpster. HPQ stands there for a few minutes and he quickly loses his patience.

HPQ: Move asshole! This may be my only chance.....

As HPQ plans his next move, NCIH comes out of no where and spears HPQ. HPQ's back crashes against the dumpster as he falls to the ground. NCIH turns around and smilies as Role Model comes with his best friend, sledgehammer. NCIH and Role Model continuously stomp out HPQ until they get bored.

NCIH: k. This is getting boring. Time to finish the job rit?

Role Model: I agree. At least he's bleeding.

Role Model turns and looks at his sledgehammer. A weapon he's had many violent memories with. He prepares to use it on HPQ.

NCIH: Wait. I want to do something first.

NCIH picks HPQ and lands a hard bitch slap. HPQ immediately falls to the ground but NCIH sets him on all fours.

NCIH: I always wanted to do that. You have to admit he looked like my bitch rit? k. Now finish the job.

Role Model grabs his sledgehammer and lifts it up in the air. The smile on Role Model's face quickly turns into a sadistic grin that mirrors the image of the devil. He smashes HPQ with the Sledgehammer.


Role Model: Game over.

NCIH: Awesome!!! Hmmmm......Almost. Drag him.

Role Model and NCIH drag HPQ's lifeless body on the concrete until they approach a sewer. They open the top of the sewer and kick HPQ into the sewer.

Role Model: Game over.

NCIH: 1 down, 2 to go. Don't fuck with the Establishment bitches.

Role Model::confused:

NCIH:. Uh, ya.

Ad...​

Jeffdivalover is shown wandering around backstage looking for Sabrina

Jeff: Sabrina where are you? I'm back from Vegas Sabrina! Are you going to see Rush Hour 3 when it comes out? Who do you think will win the NBA Finals? How is your day going? Do you want to play a game of pool? Sabrina? Do you think Kobe will get traded? What are you doing right now? SABRINA?!?!?!?!

Jeff continues his search backstage before running into 4Life

AMP: What’s up man?

Jeff: Not again. Have you guys seen Sabrina?

WCW: AMP’s Lockerroom

Jeff: :mad:

AMP: He’s just kidding. We haven’t seen Sabrina but have you seen the following video? http://youtube.com/watch?v=Dlqyp79WPvs It’s pretty much the greatest video to ever grace YouTube.

WCW: Massive ratings and buyrates.

Jeff: I don’t have time to watch your video, I’ve got to find Sabrina and see if she wants to play pool.

AMP: Trust me man, she’s been playing with a long stick all night.

Jeff: :mad: You guys are mean. I’ll win her over, you’ll see.

WCW: How do you plan on winning her over? I think the best way to win her over is buy her a gift with the following message: http://youtube.com/watch?v=Dlqyp79WPvs She’ll love it.

Jeff: No. I have pick up lines to win her over. You guys want to hear?

WCW: Not really.

Jeff: if i said you had a beautiful body would you take off your clothes and dance around a little

AMP: ANOTHER!

Jeff: Here's twenty cents to phone home and tell them you wont be home

AMP: ANOTHER!

Jeff: do you have a mirror in your pants? Coz I can see myself there

AMP: ANOTHER!

Jeff: are those space pants? Coz your ass is out of this world

AMP: ANOTHER!

Jeff: Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?

AMP: ANOTHER!

Jeff: that dress would look better on my floor

AMP: ANOTHER!

Jeff: i might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

AMP: ANOTHER!

Jeff: Do you have any Jeffdivalover in you? Want some?

AMP: ANOTHER!

Jeff: How do you like your eggs in the morning?

AMP: ANOTHER!

Jeff: Your friends say I'd be good for you.

AMP: ANOTHER!

Jeff: You don't sweat much for a fat chick

AMP: ANOTH…..

WCW: WE GET THE PICTURE!

Jeff: Do you think they’ll work?

AMP: No. But you know what works perfectly? The following video, http://youtube.com/watch?v=Dlqyp79WPvs

Jeff: You guys are no help. Now please move so I can go find Sabrina.

WCW pats Jeff on the back

WCW: As you wish

4Life moves and Jeff continues his search with a sign on his back that says……http://youtube.com/watch?v=Dlqyp79WPvs

2Slick: Poor Jeff.

Roman King: What was that 7th one? Eggs?

2Slick: How you have a girlfriend I'll never know.

Roman King: How would that line chat someone up?

The camera cuts back to the ring, where POD and Ballofice are standing in the ring.

Some jobber announcer. Lets call him...Lionden?: Ladies and gentlemen, I have just been informed that this match is a tag team bout for Modship! If POD and Ballofice are successful, they shall be promoted to moderator status in WWF! And their opponents; they are the WWF tag team champions, Kaneanite and Otacon!

Kaneanite and Otacon make their way down to the ring, hand in hand. People say this is what being tag team champs is all about. If that's true, prepare to walk crooked to get gold.

The match kicks off with Otacon and POD in the ring. POD looks really up for this, and he immediatedly ducks under a punch, and goes for a German suplex. Otacon s******s at the crotch to ass contact, and willingly allows the suplex to be delivered. It was worth it.

POD becomes more and more excited, as he thinks he's getting the upper hand. He can smell a moderator spot. Otacon is also getting more and more excited, and it is likely that a moderator spot is not in fact what POD is smelling.

POD tags in Ballofice, who immediatedly goes on the attack. Ballofice and POD utilise their 5 seconds for a double team on Otacon, who seems enthralled by the prospect. As Otacon is bouncing off the ropes, Kaneanite manages a blind tag off his back. (I'll say back, because children may be reading). Kaneanite comes in, but does a very poor job of redeeming his team. In fact, I dont think Kaneanite is trying at all. He's just lying there waiting to be pinned. Ballofice goes for the pin, but stops himself when he sees the gleeful look in Kaneanite's eyes.

Something is very wrong here. Kaneanite, not liking cock teases, gets a little angry. He grabs Ballofice and hoists him up into the gorilla press position. Ballofice looks to be in extreme pain...as would you be if you got Gorilla pressed with 90% of the weight being supported by your crotch.

The match goes on, and it soon dawns on Ballofice and POD that they are going to have to give up all self decency to get the win. POD tags in, and reluctantly hits a Bronco Buster on Otacon. Otacon, being suitably releived, lies down willingly, and POD gets the pin!


Lionden: Congratulations to POD and Ballofice, you have finally realised your dream! Everybody give a round of applause for the new TNA mods!

The smile on both POD's and Ballofice's face quickly disappears. TNA mods? Eh, no thanks.

Otacon and Kaneanite are left in the ring, and they hug each other for a great performance on the night. The hug is quite tender and devouring, but before it can go any further, Platt and DavidEFC storm the ring! David and Platt slide in just as Kaneanite and Otacon leap out of it. The Right To Censor have obviously taken exception to something...but what!?

The answer is soon revealed as the RTC point at the tag team champs, and then at the titantron. The following video comes up.





The RTC clearly do not approve of this behaviour! There could be trouble in paradise...

Backstage we see Mike and Ally sitting on a couch chatting.


Mike: Ummm, I don't really know what to say.

Ally: Don't worry about it Mike, it's not a big deal.

Mike: Maybe not for you...this has never happened me before.

Ally: It happens every guy at some stage, honestly forget about it.

Mike: I cant forget about it Ally. This is a big thing, and I want to be able to give you what you deserve.

Ally: Mike, for the last time, you burnt my dinner. I'm not mad. It's not a big deal. I don't even like pizza anyway!

Mike: You're sure you don't mind?

Ally: Of course I dont!

Mike: Thank god. Hey, at least the sex is still awesome!

Ally: :D

At this point, P1 walks up to Mike and Ally.

Mike: What do you want?

P1: Your woman.

Ally: You're not getting me! Now go away!

P1: I will have you. Mark my words, I will have you.

Ally: Whatever. Come back to me when your balls actually drop, ok sweet cheeks?

P1: They have dropped! I swear! Look!

As Mike and Ally get up to walk away, P1 struggles with his zipper, until he finally gets it open and drops his trousers to reveal what can only be described as a bald eagle downstairs look. P1 looks up to see Mike and Ally disappearing around a corner, and goes running after the, trousers around his ankles. He rounds the corner, and waddles straight into Olympic Zero, causing OZ to spill his coffee.

OZ: Damn!

OZ looks up to see who the culprit was. Upon seeing P1,

OZ: Damn!

OZ looks down to see P1's streamlined approach to his special area,

OZ: :lmao, Da...:lmao ...DA...:lmao :lmao...


DAMN!!!

Ad...​

The camera cuts to the ring, as Trey B makes his way down to the ring with NastyNas and Ghetto Anthony. Movement got fired last week. WWF wished him no luck in his future endeavours.

DDMac comes down, followed by Homicide and Holt. Max is well up for this fight, and he makes his way to the ring in a manner that can only be described as ABAP.


The match starts off, and Max immediatedly ask for the Max Tax. Trey, being as white as Movement dressed as a ghost, has no concept of what the Max tax is. He promptly receives some Max Smacks to the face.

Max goes for the Mac Attack (What this is no-one knows, but it rhymes) but Trey B ducks it. MAX GOT ROBBED! Trey lands a few shots to Max's throat, causing Max to cough harshly. One could almost say Max hacks.

Trey B tries another approach, and rips Max's shirt open to expose his chest for some chops. Trey is visibly startled to see a 9mm Glock tucked into his Max Slacks. Turns out, Max Packs. Trey steals the gun, and throws it asdie. MAX GOT ROBBED!

Max finally starts to unleash his full arsenal on Trey B. The Max Smacks. The Max Whacks (not the one involving his Max Sacks). The Max Fax. Hell, he even breaks out the Mac Back Rack.

Max winds up to a big finish, and outside Cide starts to make it rain. Trey B has way to fight this however, and he takes out his Umbrella ella ella, ey ey ey, look at his umbrella ella ella ey ey ey.

Just before Max takes it to the Max, he stops and thinks. Max always gets robbed. And here he is with money falling from the sky. Max makes a smart decision, and grabs fistfulls of cash before running off to take a 5 day holiday. Trey B wins by countout. (I guess this storyline would explain Mac's absence as of late, now wouldn't it!? See what we did there? Did you see that? Realism for the :hb win)


As Down With The Brown start to celebrate, that eerie music from before starts again. The lights go out, and druids start to appear from the entrance ramp. The druids walk slowly down to the ring, with four hooded figures walking behind them. The druids chant, as the 4 hidden figures approach the ring. Down With The Brown and the HNIC have stopped, and are entranced by the procession. The four figures enter the ring, and the lights slowly go up. NastyNas takes a tentative step towards the figures, and suddenly the four figures attack. They expel everyone in reach from the ring in a matter of seconds. The crowd is in shock, as the tallest of the figures grabs a micraphone.

Tall hooded dude: Flash, Rajah, you might not recognise us, but you do know who we are. We are the rightful higher power of Wrasslin Wrestlin forums, and we are here to stake that claim. We are The Ministry of Darkness, and we come here today to show you we are not joking around. Wrasslin' Wrestlin' forums will soon be under the control of the Ministry, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

Rajah? Flash? We're bringing wrasslin' baaaaack....

2Slick: My God King! Can things get any stranger around here!? Who the hell are these guys! How will Rajah and Flash respond!? And will Carl getting beaten to a bloody pulp? Bah Gawd, I sure hope so!

Roman King: Mike is so fucking money.

2Slick: You speak the truth King. He is figuritivly "money" as you say, but we have bigger issues King!

Roman King: You reckon Main Event is single?

2Slick: Remind me to tell you to GTFO next week! Good night folks!!!
 
#540 · (Edited)
1)I'm very sorry for the wait.
2)Sorry if you don't like certain things or if it doesn't "live up to standards".
3)This is pretty long......


Warning: The following is a WWF presentation. This program may contain language, booking and grammar unsuitable for young children. This program also contains strobe fighting.



Credit Will94

Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forums Arena
Sunday 29th April​

Considering this is a ppv, there is a disappointing amount of Pyro. Some people might think this is poor marketing, but others understand that a rival company has a ppv on tonight as well, and Fusion is therefore catering to a diminished crowd.

2Slick: Welcome Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, to WWF Fusion! This is the big one folks, the one we've been waiting for. This is, where men are made!

Roman King: Yeah well Slick, you can watch for men being made, I'm watching for the two, thats right two womens matches tonight!

2Slick: You're going to get your wish soon enough King, but right now, we've got ourselves somewhat of a grudge match to open the show!

A video package starts to play on the titantron. It shows slow motion shots that people didn't notice before, such as Spartanlax having a joke backstage and Side Effect walking past giving him a filthy look, Lax preparing for his match and Side Effect spitting in his hair gel, and Spartanlax falling asleep backstage and Side Effect giving him a wet willy. Dramatic stuff.

Side Effect makes his way down to the ring to the sound of "OH YEAH!!!". Side Effect looks pissed. He does NOT like Matt Hardy.

Spartanlax follows him down to "Sexy boy". As Lax proceeds to do all the signature Lax moves, the anger on Side Effect's face is visible. He really is convinced he could wear those chaps better.


The match kicks off, and Side Effect throws a punch. Lax falls onto the ground, gets up, and falls again. Side Effect drops the elbow, and Lax's whole body jumps a foot in the air, before falling back down. Side Effect picks up Lax, and throws him against the rope, catching him with a clothesline on the way back. Lax flips over twice in the air, and lands on the small of his back.

Man this guy can oversell.

As the match continues, Side Effect realises what is happening. Lax is selling the HBK gimmick to perfection, and is therefore proving a point to Side Effect, albeit through getting his head kicked in. This displeases Side Effect, so he reacts. Side Effect goes to bounce off the ropes, but intentionally makes himself fall backwards over the top. Now he is the one ine pain.

Lax looks up to realise what has happened, and sees Side Effect on the outside, rolling around in agony. Not on his watch. Lax goes running towards the ropes, and dives over them to the outside. One might think his intention was to hit Side Effect, but he has dived at least three feet to the left of where Side Effect is standing. Side Effect, not to be out done, scrambles over and manages to take Lax's fallin body right on the small of his back. A smile creeps onto his face as the pain sets in.

The match continues in this fashion, with each person trying to oversell the other's offence. Eventually, both men try to steal the show but their efforts comes with consequences. Side Effect climbs the turnbuckle and attempts a moonsault, but misses landing face first on the mat. Spartanlax eventually gets up & gets in the ring, waits for Side Effect to get up before he tries a Rope Flip. He misses and lands directly on his neck. You can see the pain on Spartanlax's face. He's really hurt. Both men are down. Side Effect gets Spartanlax up and rolls him into the ring. He signals for the twist of fate, but out of no where Spartanlax hits the Superkick and immediately falls on Side Effect. 1, 2, 3.


While both men are down, words are suprising exchanged between them:

Side Effect: Dude, I wanted to be HBK and all, but you just broke your neck to sell a ppv opener. What the hell?

Spartanlax: Must....always....oversell. Must.....always.....steal.....the....show.

Spartanlax is taken away on a stretcher with a broken neck, and can still be seen arching his back and holding the small of his back as he is taken away.

The camera cuts to backstage, where Rajah, Flash, David and Platt can be seen talking to a group of individuals.


Rajah: Listen, I don't trust Slam. He'll get in here somehow, and I cant stop that. What I can stop, is him ruining my show. So it is up to you guys to make sure that if he comes anywhere near my ring, you give him the beating of a lifetime! Got it?

Platt: If you don't get the job done, you will all be warned.

David: Count this as your only warning.

The camera comes back to the arena.

2Slick: I sure wouldn't want to be Slam right now King!

Roman King: I'd take it, at least he has his youth. Not like that old man Rajah!

2Slick: What did I say about old jokes?

Roman King: Whatever you're saying, shut up! Here comes the Diva's!

Catalanotto makes her manly way down the ring. There is a chorus of boos from the crowd, but not from anyone in the first row. They know better.

Lady Croft comes down next, to a resounding cheer from the crowd. Lady Croft plays up the the crowd, making sure to flash a bit of leg on her way.


The match kicks off, and immediately an interesting contrast arises. Catalanotto's offence is one of brute force and strength, while Lady Croft's offence is far more subtle. Lady Croft doesn't go for the big knockout blows, she merely throws in a shot or two that strike to the bone. Interesting.

As the match goes on, Catalanotto seems to be gaining the upper hand. Her attack is overwhelmingly vicious and relentless. What she lacks in craft, she makes up for in crudeness. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Lady Croft snaps. She releases a consistent and degrading attack, which would leave most women crying. Catalanotto isn't most women, but she is visibly hurt. All of a sudden, her attacks do not seem so biting. She's lost her edge.

As the match draws to a conclusion, there can only be one winner. Catalanotto put up a good fight, but sheer persistence and conviction of thought seems to have carried Lady Croft through this bout. With a final righteous shot, she pins Catalanotto for the 1,2,3.


2Slick: She's done it! Lady Croft has subdued the beast!

Roman King: That match didn't seem very detailed Slick...

2Slick: I believe it was symbolism King.

Roman King: :side:

2Slick: :side:

The camera cuts to the ticket booth where we see Fail attempting to buy a ticket to see the show again.

Fail: Hi I'd like to buy a ticket for tonight's show. I called ahead of time. And the prices sound reasonable. Now before I buy, are there any tickets on reserve?

Ticket Attendant: No. Actually, you're buying the last ticket.

Fail: Yes! Ok, here's my money for the ticket.

Ticket Attendant: Oh, you might want to read this notice.

Administrator: "In order to increase the production value for tonight's show and future shows, I have raised the prices by an extra $10 dollars."

Fail: Are you serious?! But that was all the money I had!

Ticket Attendant: Admin swerve?

Olympic Zero: DAMN!

Fail: I'll find a way somehow...

The camera cuts to backstage, where we see CarlitosCabanaGirl talking to KingKurtUK.

CarlitosCabanaGirl: You don't have to do this KingKurt.

KingKurt: (Insert 2000 word explanation of why KingKurt has to do this, with the summation being: Yes, I do.)

CarlitosCabanaGirl: But can't you just forget about him?

KingKurt: (Insert 2000 word explanation of why KingKurt cant forget about him, with the summation being : No, I can't.)

CarlitosCabanaGirl: I'm worried about you, what if you get hurt?

KingKurt: (Insert 2000 word explanation of why CarlitosCabanaGirl shouldn't be worried, with the summation being: Don't be.)

CarlitosCabanaGirl: Well, if I can't stop you from doing this, make sure you kick his ass!

KingKurt: (Insert 2000 word explantion of how KingKurt is indeed going to kick P1's ass, with the summation being: I will.)

Phenomenal1's music hits the arena, and he makes his way down to the ring to a deafening boo from the crowd. Now that's heat.

There is silence for a while, before some strange music hits the arena. It's Gnarls Barkley, "Crazy". KingKurt emerges on the ramp, and makes a slow but determined bee line for the ring. You can visibly see the affect this has on P1, who was not expecting KingKurt to be so determined, and a song describing himself as crazy doesn't help.


The match starts off, and KingKurt attempts a shoulder block. He falls to his back. P1 smiles, as KingKurt looks shocked. P1 has been in his fair share or arguments here at Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forums, and it's going to take more than that to get at him. KingKurt gets himself to his feet, and this time goes for the clothesline. Again, his attack is blocked. This doesn't look good for KingKurt.

P1 finally begins an offence of his own, and his experience shows through clearly. KingKurt has very little to offer in return, and the next ten minutes consist of P1 playing to the crowd, while systematically beating down KingKurt. The crowd, who are completely behind KingKurt, are stunned. This isn't how it's supposed to go.

P1 finally hits the decisive blow. He lays down on KingKurt to go for the pin, and a close up shows P1's face inches from KingKurts. As the ref gets down to start the 1,2,3 count, P1 can be seen whispering in KingKurt's ear.

P1: Goodbye, Mr KKUK. Bitch

One,

KingKurt: My name...

Two,

KingKurt: is Mike!

Thr....NO!!!

Mike explodes, throwing P1 off his chest. Mike, rolls back onto his shoulders, and nips up to his feet. The crowd's roar is so loud, the whole building begins to shake. P1 is incensed, and immediately comes at Mike, throwing punches. Mike is calm and collected as the deflects them, before deliving a thumping right hand to P1's nose. P1's nose shatters, but before he has time to react, he finds himself being lifted up onto Mike's shoulders. Mike takes a step back, before running towards the turnbuckle. Mike runs up the turnbuckle with P1, still on his shoulders, across the top rope, and then bounces towards the canvas, delivering the most awesome running powerslam ever seen. That's how fucking awesome Mike is.

1,2,3.


As the crowd cheer, CarlitosCabanaGirl comes running from backstage and jumps into Mike's arms. The two look into each others eyes, before finally giving in and snogging the hell out of each other. The crowd cheers again!


...


The crowd cheers start to get lower, as Mike and CarlitosCabanaGirl don't stop kissing. Infact, they're doing the opposite of kissing. This could get dirty folks...


2Slick: Get a room you two!

Roman King: TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF!

Phenomenal1 finally gets up with a evil facial expression.

Phenomenal1: I'll get my way. Trust me. I always get my way. Bitches

The camera cuts backstage, where King Bookah and Queen Sharmell are sitting in chairs, with a tv screen behind them.

King Bookah: Welcome, to "At The Movies, with your host King Bookaaaaaah, and the lovely Queen Sharmell."

Queen Sharmell: Kiiiiiiing, Booooookaaaaah!

King Bookah: Tonight, I shall be reviewing the movie "Supersize Me", a film documentary about a guy who eats food from McDonalds for 30 days straight. But first, lets take a look at a scene from the film.

We see a scene from Supersize Me, where a doctor is telling the main character that he is in danger of doing irreperable damage if he does not stop eating McDonalds.

King Bookah: Aaaaahhh hahahahaha :lmao :lmao

Queen Sharmell: What a terrible film!

King Bookah: You are right, my Queen! This film was awful! The only thing that would make it better, would have been if I had starred in it. Here's what it might have looked like...

King Bookah: Ha! Gimme that quarter pounder, sucka! And those fries! Ima eat those fries and wash them down with 8 big macs! My stomach is unstoppable! And I got this Hungry Man dinner too! HAHA!

Queen Sharmell: Bravo! Bravo! McKing Bookah!

King Bookah: Thank you, thank you. McKing Bookah indeed. What would that make you?

Queen Sharmell: McQueen Sharmell...:no:

The camera cuts back to the ring, where we see KIF and MITB standing in the ring, ready to get the Hardcore Match underway.

The match kicks off in typical fashion. KIF gets no reaction from the crowd. This guy really needs some charisma. MITB, on the other hand, gets quite a cheer from the crowd. Who would have thought this guy would have taken to a vampire gimmick so readily?

This is a battle of epic proportions, with both men bringing their A game. For KIF, his A game is a samurai sword. For MITB, his A game is 6 inch long incisors. MITB doesn't seem afraid of KIF's samurai sword, and lunges in for a bite of KIF's chest. KIF dodges, and hits MITB with the handle of his sword. MITB reacts, and dives at KIF's ankle, getting a good chomp out of one of them. KIF again uses his sword, and butts MITB's head with the handle.

The guy has a sword, and he's hitting him with the handle. Jim Cornette would not be impressed.

The match drags on for a good ten minutes, with MITB drawing blood on several occasions, and KIF really bludgeoning MITB with his sword. Yes, bludgeoning him with a sword. MITB makes the fatal mistake of going for KIF's goolies with his teeth, and KIF snaps and swings his sword the way it is meant to be used. The sword slices through MITB's arm like a knife through butter. The crowd are sickened, MITB is shocked, KIF is stoic.

KIF gets the 1,2,3 and wins the hardcore championship one the now one armed MITB.


As KIF begins to celebrate, and by celebrate I mean say "excellent" and emit no emotion whatsoever, Flash appears on the titantron.

Flash: I may have forgotten to mention it, but the WWF Hardcore Championship is to be defended under the 24/7 rule. So congratulations KIF, lets see how long you can hold onto it!

Apparently, not too long, as MITB has retreived KIF's sword with his remaining arm, and takes a swipe, cutting off both of KIF's ankles. 1,2,3 and MITB is now the new Hardcore Champion.


An ambulance arrives and takes the new Hardcore Champion away, as two men make their way down the ramp. It's Chris Heel and Break the Walls. It's tag team championship time!

Heel and BDW warm up in the ring, as the next team make their way down. It's Brye. And his penis. Seeing as Brye without a penis is registered in the Women's division, his penis is a seperate entity. Lets call his penis, oh I don't know, VD. That user VD. The team is Brye and his penis, VD.


The match starts off with Heel and Brye. Heel is dominant, and Brye is really taking a mauling. Brye rushes back to his corner, and tags in VD. Furiously. He really is taking far too long to make this tag. Heel, who has no intention of touching Brye's penis, kicks it back against Brye, who is involuntarily tagged back in. Pin and 1,2,3. Brye slumps away, his battered and bruised tag team partner in his hands.

4Life come down next. WCW and AMP don't really seem to care about the match. Their minds are elsewhere, which is apparent when the camera shows a group of jobbers from OVW getting off a bus in the parking lot. WCW and AMP immediately scarper out of the ring, to go have some fun with these jobbers. This is like their christmas. They are counted out, and it's time for the next team.

The Red Scare is the next team down, and this week it's Hypnotic and CaLi fighting. Imperfect would be, but he's busy checking his Laptop. "Why hasn't she written back?" he is heard to mutter.

CaLi starts off in the ring with BDW. The fight is vicious, as neither man is willing to give an inch. CaLi eventually gets bored, and tags in Hypnotiq, who charges in with the hot tag, eager to prove his worth. He manages to prove how awesome BDW is, by getting creamed with a picture perfect drop kick. BDW tags in Heel to finish the job, but Heel gets distracted by Imperfect on the ouside shouting "SKYLER! SHE WROTE BACK!" Hypnotiq takes advantage of this, and rolls Heel up for the 1,2,3.

The fourth and final team down are the Right To Censor. Platt and David walk purposefully towards the ring, and get straight into the action. They aren't holding back, and within no time at all they have CaLi and Hypnotiq reeling. These guys are just having fun now, taking turns in beating on CaLi. As Platt holds up CaLi for David to deliver a spear, a laptop comes flying through the air. It hits CaLi on the head, knocking him out of the way of the charging David. David creams Platt with a devastating spear, and CaLi's collapsing body knocks David out of the ring. The legal man, Hypnotiq, capitalises and gets the pin on Platt for the 123. We have new tag champs!


As The Red Scare start to celebrate, a flashing light appears on the titantron. "Warning! Warning! Admin swerve imminent!" The Red Scare look confused, until Flash appears on the screen.

Flash: You haven't won anything Red Scare, there is one more team to introduce. All I will say is, they know drama...

The Red Scare look confused, but their confusion soon turns to shock as Kaneanite and Otacon make their way down to the ring! They make light work of the stunned Red Scare, and within minutes we have our WWF Tag Team champions, Kaneanite and Otacon!

2Slick: Haha! Take that Communism!

Red Scare: Assholes

As Kaneanite and Otacon walk to the back, they are greeted by CarlitoCabanagirl.

CarlitoCabanagirl: That came out no where! How do you guys feel?

Otacon: These belts look sexy.

Kaneanite: Not as sexy as us...

Roman King: Those two seem awfully close...

A camera cuts to the Ambulance where MITB is being transported to the hospital. All of a sudden, the ambulance stops, and the driver turns around. It's Fail! Fail climbs into the back seat, and pins the unconscious MITB for the three count. Fail is the new Hardcore Champion! Fail begins to dance around the ambulance excitedly. This is the highlight of his career. His cheering is cut short by a cell phone ringing. Fail answers it.

Fail: Hello?

Flash: Good evening Fail, it's Flash.

Fail: Flash, I won the Hardcore title!

Flash: You certainly pinned MITB, but considering you are actually not employed by WWF, that doesn't count for much. You are not the Hardcore champion. Sorry about that.

Admin Swerve!

Fail: Again!....

The camera cuts back to the ring, where we are about to see the women's title be decided. Rebel By Design makes her way down to the ring. The crowd cheers quite loudly for RBD, as she hasn't been heard from in a week here at WWF, and they are glad to see she's ok.

Lady B recieves a similarly warm reception. Lady B is very over with the crowd...and those big baps dont hurt either.


Before the match starts, ADR LaVey and Will94 make their way to the ring with video recorders. They set the recorders up and you can hear them saying words like "bytes" and "frames".

The match starts off where last weeks WWF strike a pose match left off. Both women show off their womanlies, before stalking each other. RBD throws Lady B against the ropes, but Lady B holds on and RBD is left on her ass after an attempted drop kick. Lady B leans back on these ropes, pushing her chest out. Nice pose. RBD counters that nipping up to her feet, and crossing her arms ghetto style. Touche.

The match continues in this fashion, with each woman taking every oppertunity they can to show off their goods to the crowd, who are eating it up. Poor Roman King is having a heart attack at the announcers booth. He hasn't seen this much quality action for years, when nudes were allowed.

RBD puts up a valiant effort, but she simply cannot match Lady B for pure enthusiasm. With a final wink to the crowd, Lady B goes for the small package on RBD, cheekily grabbing the tights to show a bit off ass as the gets the 1,2,3.

Lady B is the new womens champion!


ADR LaVey: Dude, we totally have to make a gif of that.

Will94: You took the words right out of my mouth.

The reception to this win is loud and clear, as everyone is chuffed for Lady B. Divas from the back come down to celebrate with her, and it is a joyful moment. As the divas starts to make their way back up the ramp, Lady Croft is left in the ring with Lady B. She smiles, and walks up to Lady B, giving her a huge hug. The crowds cheers are short lived, however, as Lady Croft releases Lady B and hits her with a devastating right hand! The crowd boo, as Lady Croft holds up the women's title, and leans over Lady B's fallen body.

Lady Croft: This will be my title soon, bitch!

The camera cuts backstage, where Monty Hayes can be seen in the backstage bar. Monty is very, very drunk. As he calls for another whiskey, Tom walks into the bar.

Tom: Well look who we have here. Monty Hayes. Two of him!

Monty: Your seeing double you drunk ass, there's only four of me.

Tom: I know that! Get me a drink, I cant find my wallet.

Monty: Why would I get you a drink! You damn English invaded my country! 800 years of oppression!

Tom: Yeah, but if we didn't, you guys would have nothing to bitch about! We did you a favour!

Monty: Favour!? I'll favour you! Me and you, right now!

Monty Hayes and Tom get into an impromptu bar fight. This is not one of your modern bar fights though, this is a proper old school bar fight. Tom throws a punch with lands on Monty's (beautiful) face. Monty hits the deck, and Tom stands back, allowing him to get to his feet. Once he does, the fight resumes. Monty lands left jab to the eye, and Tom stumbles backwards. Monty steps back, allowing Tom to regain his balance. This is how fights should be folks, you don't hit a guy when he's down!

The fight continues, until the bartender announces last orders. This snaps Tom and Monty out of their fight, and they both charge for the bar.


Tom: 4 double whiskeys!

Monty: 8 pints of the black stuff!

Monty: You know what this bar needs? A spaceship.

Tom: Book it.

The camera cuts to 2Slick and King:

2Slick: Whatever happened to those jobbers from OVW?

King: Well, lets see!

The camera cuts to the parking lot where we see 4Life "welcoming" the jobbers that most people have never heard of.

AMPLine4Life: Hey! Coming to the major leagues. You, who are you?

Cashfire: I am cashfire. I'm a huge WCW fan.

WCW: I'm flattered.

AMPLine4Life: What are you guys here for?

Cashfire, BrahmaBull, TNA-Raven: We're here to wrestle.

WCW: What?

Cashfire, BrahmaBull, TNA-Raven: Yes. We came to wrestle

AMPLine4Life: On the PPV?:lmao

WCW: I would assume they meant they are going to wrestle after the PPV is over. In an empty arena.

Out of no where the bus driver pulls off. Turns out, the Red Scare threw out the bus driver and claimed the bus as their own.

WCW: Oh shit, looks like you guys are stranded.

Cashfire, BrhamaBull, TNA-Raven: Our bags and ring gear was on there!

WCW: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AMPLine4Life: Do you guys have any money?

Cashfire, BrhamaBull, TNA-Raven: Our wallets was in those bags.

AMPLine4Life :lmao What do they teach you in OVW?

WCW: Ok guys. Here's our number. If you can make it through the night without dieing, give us a call.

As the random jobbers, turn around and leave, AMP and WCW assault them and spray 4Life on there backs.

AMPLine4Life: Dude, what number did you give them?

WCW: I wrote down 6 random numbers. With a question mark replacing the 7th number.

AMPLine4Life: HI FIVE!!

The camera cuts back to the ring, and it appears it's time for out United States Championship match.

"Woooo!" plays out, and some awfully regal music announces Derek's arrival to the ring. Derek gets a very loud pop, probably because he is American.

Some bagpipes announce Carl's arrival, and the crowd boo loudly. This crowd is not happy with the US title on a foreigner. Slick seems very pleased with the crowds reaction.


The match kicks off, and the two men lock up. Carl overpowers Derek, and sends him on his back. Derek stands up, and he is already bleeding profusely from his forehead. Nice. This does not slow Carl down, and he continues his onslaught. Even though Carl has not hit a single shot to the head, Derek continues to spurt blood everywhere. Damn this guy can blade.

Derek mounts a mini comback, and manages to nearly get Carl in the figure four. Carl powers out, but Derek hits him with a back body drop as he gets to his feet. Derek throws his robe on the ground, bounces off the ropes, and drops the elbow on his robe. This gets a cheer from the crowd, but surely his time would be better used dropping the elbow on his opponent.

Derek puts in a stellar performance, but his experience is no match for Carl's youthful energy. Carl, much to the anger of the crowd, puts Derek in his own signature move, the figure four. Derek sells it excellently, going so far as to blade his ankles. Derek refuses to give up, but hs body does anyway. Derek passes out from the pain and Carl retains his United States title.


2Slick: Damn it! DAMN IT! That good for nothing Welsh bastard stole another one! He's really starting to piss me off King.

Roman King: I actually think Carl rather likes you old man.

2Slick: Well, when he starts speaking English I'll start listening to him!

The camera cuts backstage where Holt, DDMac and Homicide can be seen standing.

DDMac: Hit him with the Mac Attack. The follow up with the Max Tax!

Holt: What the hell is the Max Tax?

DDMac: If someone doesn't pay their Max Tax, you give them some Max Smacks!

Cide: ***** please. Kick his ass Holt.

DDMac: The Max Tax would totally catch on...

Down With The Brown make there way to the ring. NastyNas and Trey B stand on the ouside, while Ghetto Anthony warms up in the ring. While waiting, Nastynas starts buying random fans Lifetime tickets for future shows. Ghetto Anthony, on the other hand, seems to have lost his Lifetime ticket.

Trey B does the worm.

The crowd erupts as the HNIC make their way down to ring side. Holt rolls into the ring and immediately stares down GA. GA is not fazed.


The match kicks off, and GA offers his hand in friendship. Holt ignores it and goes for a shoulder block. GA grabs him as if to perform a belly to belly suplex...but ends up just hugging him. Holt, who disagrees with black on black man love, shoves him away. GA, incensed, charges and Holt, and things start to get dirty. There is no technical prowess here, nor is there any showboating to the hot crowd. This is two men trying to kill each other. And it's not pretty.

As Holt comes off the ropes, Trey B grabs his foot, calling him to fall on his face. Cide yells "Get em!!!". Mac rushes around the ring to attack Trey B, but ends up taking a low blow to his Mac Sack. Ouch. He is saved by Cide, who lands a big boot with his pimp shoe to NastyNas. The four men continue to brawl.

Back in the ring, GA attempts a low blow of his own. Did he not read the first show? Balls of steel. Holt shakes his head, and unleashes a devastating pimp slap. BAM! Holt stalks the staggering GA, and 2 seconds later, THAT ***** DEAD! Holt gets the pin 1,2,3.


Holt celebrates with his homeboys as they exit the ring. As they walk up towards the back, where Holt has some tornahoes ready to share, GA can be heard to shout "This isn't over!!!"

Backstage, Super Delfin is sitting on a chair. He looks into the camera, and speaks.


Delfin: I am more awesome than you.

He's right you know.

The camera shifts toward the ring as it is time for the WWF Title match. NCIH makes his way to the ring looking more cocky and intense than ever. The crowd gives him a good reception, but he doesn't seem to care. Pyro comes to the ring in his stretch limo. His crowd reaction is mixed. As the limo driver opens the door, Pyro shakes his hand and gives him $100. The limo driver is confused since yesterday Pyro threatened to fire him for no reason. Role Model, The last competitor in this match, comes out looking focused and determined. He gets a split crowd reaction too, but just like NCIH, he could careless.

The match starts off with each opponent staring at each other. Before Pyro can make a move, NCIH and Role Model immediately double team him and stomp him out in the corner. The double team continues for five minutes, until NCIH misses a dropkick. Pyro clotheslines Role Model over the top rope leaving NCIH in the ring alone.

Pyro lands a sweet big boot. Covers but only gets count of 2. Pyro continues to work on NCIH and hits a fallway slam for another 2 count. As Pyro goes toward the ropes, Role Model pulls him out the ring and lands a hard spinebuster on the mat. NCIH comes outside and they start double teaming Pyro again. They remove the mat exposing the the concrete floor. They both lift Pyro up, and drops him stomach first on the concrete. NCIH and Role Model taunts the crowd before planning their next move.

NCIH gets ready for the spear on Pyro. As Pyro tries to get up, NCIH charges but the dazed Pyro moves out the way and falls down causing NCIH to hit Role Model with the Spear! NCIH has a look of his disbelief on his face.

While Pyro struggles to get back up, NCIH gets pissed & begins to remove cameras and other objects on the table as it appears that he's planning to end this match right now. He sets Pyro on the table, climbs up the table and lands a torando DDT through the table! As NCIH gets up, Role Model comes out of no where and hits him with a sledgehammer! He stalls for a minutes to catch his breath before rolling NCIH in the ring for a 2 count.

Role Model sets up NCIH for the pedigree, but NCIH reverses with a back body drop. As soon as NCIH does that, Pyro gets in the ring and delivers the clothesline from hell! 1, 2, 3!


Legend is shown immediately marking out in the front row.

2Slick: By god King! We have a new World Champion!!!

King: What a match!! It could of went either way. Pyro's fans will love this!

2Slick: Oh, I'm sure they will King.:rolleyes:

NCIH and Role Model leaves the ring in the state of shock as neither of them won the title. Pyro follows behind them after celebrating in the ring for 5 minutes.

The camera cuts to the back to see Rajah expressing "interest" in one of the divas.

Rajah: Hey Aussie. Lookin' mighty fine.

Aussie: Thanks:D

Rajah: Don't you think you're a little overdressed?

Aussie: Well, I am a little hot......:$

Rajah: :yum:

AlexXx: Dad, what did I tell you.

Rajah: DAMN IT! *Rajah walks off*

"If ya smell, what The Slam, is cooking" rings out and The Slam makes his way down to the ring accompanied by Cowie. Rob isn't able to make it tonight which I'm sure pleases Rajah. Slam's shirt is ripped and it's pretty clear that he has had to fight his way towards the ring. Slam grabs a micraphone, and he is clearly out of breath.

Slam: The Slam came her tonight to see what was going on. The Slam found out that what was going on was having four men standing beside the entrance to the ring. The Slam found out that what was going on was that Rajah thinks he can shut me up through force. Well The Slam says Rajah should know The Slam better than that!

Because you can throw whoever you want at The Slam, The Slam will keep on coming! The Slam is here to stand up for what is right in this business. The Slam stands here alone, but if there is anyone back there who wants to make a stand, come and join The Slam. Do something with your life. Stand up for what is right! And...

Rajah: Cut his mic. Cut his damn mic! Slam, you're pathetic. You aint getting anything from me, nor anyone else. I run Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forums like I please, and no-one can do anything about that. So guards, please remove Slam from my ring.

Jared, Evolution, King Placebo and others who wanted to be in the show but whom this narrater can't think of right now rush down to the ring, and proceed to beat down on Slam. The crowd booing only intensifies as Rajah starts laughing maniacally. His fun is cut short though, when another WWF star runs down to the ring and clears it off the security! Slam looks up in gratitude at his new partner, who ia none other than Mr.Perfect

Rajah: More security. Security! Get out here damn it! Where is the damn security!

There is silence, until "Here comes the money" sounds out. Flash walks out onto the ramp and goes up to Rajah. He whispers in Rajah's ear, as Rajah gets infuriated.

Rajah: I don't care if they respect them, they take orders from me! Come on, we'll do this ourselves!

Rajah and Flash march their way down to the ring, as Slam and Mr.Perfect prepare for a battle. Rajah steps into the ring first, Flash just behind him. Rajah steadies himself to throw a punch, but before he can deliver it, he recieves a set of Brass Knuckles to the head. The crowd gasps in shock, before cheering loudly. Flash smiles as he reaches for a mic. Slam and Mr.Perfect are stunned.

NO WAY ADMIN SWERVE?:eek:

Flash: Old man, you've outstayed your welcome. Slam is right. You're going to run WWF into the ground, and I, well I just cant let that happen. I've made my choice, and with me on their side, there aint nothing stopping us. Enjoy your company while it lasts, dad, coz it wont be yours for much longer.

2Slick: For the love of...that's his own father! His own flesh and blood! By gawd, how can he be so heartless!

Roman King: Slam is pretty cool.

2Slick: I can't believe what we've seen here tonight! We'll see you next week folks! Thanks for coming!
 
#418 ·
Sigh. Only one more week of shitty internet access thank god. Here it is.

Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forums Arena
Friday 20th April​

A camera shows Fail stepping out of a flashy limo, popping his collar, before strutting up a red carpet towards a building entrance. His flamboyant attire attracts onlookers, as he approaches the door.

Doorman: Well, good evening sir! You are certainly dressed for the occasion in that spandex!

Fail: Thank you. I came dressed to impress, as this could be my one shot!

Doorman: Certainly sir. The changing room is through the door to the left, and the accessories are in the closet at the back wall.

Fail: Accessories?

Doorman: For your performance, sir.

Fail: What accessories could I possibly need?

Doorman: Well, sir, generally our performers like to show off to the crowd with some accessories, and...you know...attatchments.

Fail: Wai...what's going on here tonight?

Doorman: Why, the annual male dominatrix convention, of course.

Fail: What!? What about Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forums!?

Doorman: Oh, they changed venue to the far side of town. Didn't you know?

Fail: God damn it!!!

Fail leaves the perplexed doorman behind as he races off to commandere a bicycle, as he spent all of his savings on the flashy limo.

There is no pyro to announce the opening of this weeks show, and the camera immediately shows Rajah and Flash standing in the ring.


Rajah: Ladies and gentlemen, I wish to address some issues that arose during last weeks show. I'm sure many of you are wondering who those two people were who entered my office last Friday. Would you like to know who?

The crowd cheers.

Rajah: TOO BAD!!! I will not be held to ransom by anyone! This is my show, and I have instructed security not to let anyone who I haven't personally approved anywhere inside this building!

The crowd boos.

Rajah: What, you don't like that? That's funny, because I don't give a rats ass! Now, onto more pressing matters. Fusion is rapidly approaching, and I wish to formalise some of the matches you can expect to see. As you already know, the main event has already been announced, and tonight will see who will join Pyro and NCIH in the NO DQ match to determine the WWF champion; Role Model or Spartanlax.

The crowd cheers. This is a very, very predictable crowd.

Rajah: Tonight, we will also find out who will go on to face Carl for the United States Championship. Considering everyone in contention took a weedwhacker to the face, I think it only fair that the number one contender be decided tonight in a special weedwhacker on a pole match. Who will be in the match? Well, I'm opening it up. Anyone who has the guts to enter is welcome to.

The crowd cheers, to nobody's surprise.

Rajah: As well as that, tonight we will also iron out who will be in the WWF hardcore championship match, by having ourselves a nice friendly rock, paper, scissors match.

The crowd boos. Yeah. I know.

Rajah: You there, your sign is too big. You're banned. As I was saying, this will be no ordinary game of rock, paper, scissors. This is Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forums, and we like to do things a bit differently here. The concept is simple. Each participant can bring with him either a rock, some paper, or a scissors. Anyone who isn't dead can go on to Fusion.

Cheers from the crowd.

Rajah: Throughout the night, I will also be making several other matches, as I see fit. Now a message to those of you backstage, I'm not in a good mood. I want things to run smoothly tonight, and I am giving the Right To Censor certain powers to make sure this happens. Anyone stepping out of line will be reprimanded. To show how serious I am, I have banned WCW from the arena tonight for his actions last week. Finally, I will be holding an open auction tonight, so any of you who want to prove youtself worthy of a match at fusion, my door is open. And with that, on with the show!

Except for you, big sign guy. No show for you, that sign is too big. Banned.

As Rajah and Flash make there way up the ramp, the crowd does nothing. Swerve!!!

2Slick: He is not in a good mood King!

Roman King: I wouldn't be in a good mood if I was that old either Slick.

2Slick: Emmm, lets not bring up age jokes King...

Roman King: Oh yeah, you're old. Ha ha!

2Slick: You are so dead when we get home. We'll be back after this folks!

Ad...​

Backstage we see Phenomenal1 getting ready to introduce CM Weedman for an interview.

Phenomenal1: Ladies & Gentlemen. CM Weedman.

CM Weedman: Hello all. Today is a special day. 4/20. The day all smokers should celebrate. Me and my girl celebrate it more than Christmas. I haven't had to chance to visit my girl but I have dedicated my 4/20 to her.

Phenomenal1: Yea 4/20 representer. Thats what I'm talking about.

CM Weedman: Yea man. As a matter of fact, I think I'll go back to the locker room right now if you know what I mean. See ya later Phenomenal1.

Phenomenal1 dropps the mic and whispers in CM Weedman's ear. It appears Phenomenal1 wants to come to the locker room with CM Weedman.

CM Weedman: Sure no problem.

A big shit eating grin is on Phenomenal1's face as this is the best news he's heard all day.

Phenomenal1: Yes! I'll be there in a few minutes.

As CM Weedman walks off, Flash stops him.

Flash: I suggest you look to your left.

As CM Weedman looks to the left, he is immediately shocked to see the sign "random drug testing" on a door.

Flash: Temporarily banned.

KingKurt_UK leans over P1's shoulder.

KingKurt_UK: Listen, you're not really a meanie. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so vulgar. I just lost my temper. Friends?

Phenomenal1: I guess I owe you an apology too. I shouldn't have dissed you like that man.

Phenomenal1 offers KingKurt his hand, and KingKurt accepts. While they are shaking hands, Phenomenal1 looks KingKurt straight in the eye...

Phenomenal1: And I'll apologise to CarlitosCabanaGirl tonight as well. Y'know, when I'm banging her.

KingKurt_UK: Thats very big of y...wait, what did you say!?

Phenomenal1: No hard feelings man. It's clear that she wants me though. All night long.

KingKurt_UK: How...how dare you talk about her like that!

Phenomenal1: C'mon man, you've seen the way she looks at me. She lusts after my manly body. I don't blame her, she's only human.

KingKurt_UK: P1, if you don't shut up right now, I swear, I'll...

Phenomenal1: You'll what? You'll give out to me? You'll write me another letter? You'll..

SMACK!!!

KingKurt_UK lands a stiff right hand to the shocked Phenomenal1's jaw, and he goes down like a sack of spuds. The crowd completely mark out at this coming of age of KingKurt_UK.

KingKurt_UK: You've disrespected CarlitosCabanaGirl for the last time P1, and I wont stand for it any longer! Next week, at Fusion, KingKurt_UK, Phenomenal1, winner takes all match! If I win, you can never say a bad word about the love of my life again!

Phenomenal1: You're on. But if I win, you have to leave Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forums forever!

KingKurt_UK: See you at Fusion, you scoundrel!

The camera cuts back to the ring, where Lady B, Rebel By Design, Minterz and Aussie are all standing in some sort of womanly pose.

2Slick: Atta boy, KingKurt, you show him what you're made of!

Roman King: Priorities Slick, we've got the womens match next to decide who goes on to Fusion to compete for the womens title!

2Slick: Right you are King, so lets get this 4 way "Last women posing" match underway!

The bell rings, and immediately all 4 women strike a pose. Minterz sits on the second rope facing the crowd, and starts bouncing up and down, which really gets the overwhelmingly male crowd going. Rebel By Design takes a different approach, and begins to perform bridges and various types of the splits. The cameramen immediately focus there attention on her, snappping away furiously. Aussie, being a real lady, doesn't engage in such blatent flaunting of her body. Aussie already oozes a sexual aura, and merely walks elegantly around the ring in her high heels and gown. She gets the response she wanted, no-one cheering, everyone just shutting up in awe of her prowess. Lady B, jumps up and down. Flop flop.

Minterz decides to take this match to the next level, and trips up the elegant Aussie, causing her to fall flat on her face. Her triumph is short lived however, as Aussie takes off one of her stillettos and flings it straight at Minterz' face. It catches her flush on the shnozz, and she shrieks in pain. Aussie immediately jumps to her feet, albeit unevenly on one shoe, and strikes a pose. Bad idea, as Rebel By Design pulls her hair straight down, exposing her face, and delivers a fierce smack right across her cheek. Lady B, jumps up and down. Flop flop.

The stilletto broke the skin on Minterz nose, and although she tries to strike a myspace pose, she is disqualified for having blood pumping from her face. We're down to three.

Aussie's cheek is taking a real spanking, as Rebel By Design unloads on her relentlessly. With one final thwump, Rebel By Design releases Aussie's hair and throws her into the corner, satisfied that no woman can strike a pose with such a bruised cheek. She underestimated Aussie's ability to improvise bad make up day, and Aussie shakes her head, her hair perfectly covering her bruised cheek, as she pulls of a side pose. The crowd applauds her ingenuity. Lady B, jumps up and down. Flop flop.

Finally, Aussie and Rebel By Design seem to get fed up with Lady B playing up the crowd, and attack her in tandem. First, Aussie holds her down, while Rebel By Design straps a sports bra on those bad boys. Try bouncing now! They jump back, pleased with their accomplishment, only for Lady B to stand up and take a very, very deep breath. The expansion of her chest pops the sports bra right off, and it springs into Aussie's face. Aussie desperately tries to strike a pose while clawing the brassiere from her face, but ends up tripping over the shoe she took off earlier. Two left.

Lady B and Rebel By Design really go for each other. There is no love lost between these two, and each counters the others offence and pose, with an offence and pose of their own. It seems like this match could go on for a long time, but out of nowhere, Catalanotto hits the ring and knocks both women out with a double clothesline. The ref rings for the bell to end the match a no contest, as Catalanotto attempts a womanly pose of her own. She fails.

Catanotto: Ha ha, I win! There's no-one else left, so I'm going to win the womens title by default at Fusion!

The crowd boos strongly, but the boos stop abruptly as a woman's voice comes over the speakers.

Annonymous: Actually Cat, no, you didn't win anything.

Catalanotto: What? What are you talking about? Who is that?

Annonymous: That was a strike a pose match, and as far as I can see, you can't strike even the most basic of feminine poses.

Catalanotto: Who the hell is this? Get out here so I can destroy you.

Annonymous: Do is make you feel important, being a bully?

Catalanotto: I'm no bully! Where are you!?

Annonymous:I'm a lot closer than you think hun...

[/I]Catalanotto starts looking around, searching for the source of the voice. She doesn't notice the hooded, attractive figure slide out from under the ring, approach her from behind and deliver a stunning drop kick to the back of her head, sending her tumbling outside the ring. Catalanotto picks herself up on the outside, and is about to jump back into the ring when the hooded assailant slowly takes off her hood, revealing her identity.

Catalanotto stops in her tracks, and the crowd erupts into cheers, as someone has finally managed to stand up to Catalanotto. Before anyone can move, Rajah appears on the titantron.[/I]

Rajah: Hold it right there! It looks like we have ourselves a problem. Well, that can easily be sorted. At Fusion, the two remaining participants in the strike a pose match, Lady B and Rebel By Design, will compete for the WWF womens title. And in a grudge match, we will also see Catalanotto face off against that woman there, Lady Croft!

The crowd erupts into cheers as Catalanotto looks in shock. Has she met her match?

Backstage we see Rajah and Flash sitting in Rajah's office.


Rajah: Where is Fail?

Flash: I have no idea.

Rajah: Find him!

Flash: How?

Rajah: Just go and search for him.

Flash: Search for him? How am I meant to search for him in a WWF building?

Rajah: Just click on the sear...oh. Touche.

The camera cuts to the streets Internet city, where we see Fail sitting on the side of the street, desperately trying to put some duct tape over a puncture in his bike. He eventually gives up when he spots a horse wandering down the road. He jumps onto the horse's back, and starts galloping down the road again.

Fail: Gotta make it to the show, gotta make it to the show...

Ad...​

As we come back from the ad, we see Holt walking backstage with a Tornahoe.

Holt: No baby, The Holt loves a big booty, dont be worrying.

Out of nowhere, Ghetto Anthony, Trey B and NastyNas jump on him and proceed to kick the shit out of him. It looks like their going to kill him, before the whole room gets dark. No, no one turned off the lights. The darkness is caused by the blackest man on the roster, Homicide. He is joined at his side by that guy who gets screwed, DDMax.

Homicide: You guys didn't know when to just walk away, did you?

DDMac: Three on one, I give the edge to Holt. Three on three, you guys are dead. To the max!

Holt: Down With The Brown, meet the Head *****'s In Charge.

The crowd erupts with cheers as this new powerful stable is realised. Flash, who is walking around the corridors manually searching for Fail, grunts at the six men as he passes.

Flash: Match at Fusion.

The camera cuts back to the ring.

2Slick: Looks like Fusion is shaping up nicely King!

Roman King: You're not that old...

2Slick: Quit your yappin', we've got a match to announce! The Right to Censor and 4Lyfe said last week they would have a pick your representative's match, and that match is now!

Amp comes down the ramp, looking completely dejected. Without WCW this week, he's not having any fun at all. Cracking jokes and destroying jobbers just isn't the same when you're on your own. Amp stops, and looks back at the stage, and his choice of representative is soon apparent. The eerie music is poorly produced, what else would you expect from a bunch of Commies? The Red Scare.


Platt and DavidEFC walk down to the ring, and pause to allow their choice to come out. It's Chris Heel, and Y2J BreakTheWalls! It looks like Heel has found himself a partner to get some retribution on the beatdown he got last week. The message "Enjoy the sanity" flashes on the big screen as they make their way down to the ring.

The match starts off with Chris Heel and Imperfect squaring off. For this match, Red Scare have chosen Imperfect and Cali for this particular match. Makes sense, Imperfect believes in the communise cause, Cali inderstands the communist cause, and Hypnotiq has no idea what the cause is.

Heel gains the upper hand through some traditional moves, the twist of the arm, and forearm to the back. He tags in BDW, who continues the asault on Imperfect's underdeveloped arm. On the outside, Amp simply is not interested in anything but his brooding for WCW. Several fans make themselves easy target for Amp, but his attention is elsewhere.

Imperfect cannot get the uppes hand on Heel, so he tags in Cali. Cali attempts a tactic of Glasnost, but Heel is not fooled and hits a devastating spine buster. Heel tags in BreakTheWalls, who starts working the arm of Cali. Cali, although appreciating the aim of Communsim, isn't willing to take a beating for it, so he makes the tag to Imperfect. Imperfect makes an immediate impact, but his offence quickly tapers off, as is the case with most communist regimes. And immediate affect, but little use in the long term.

As the match proceeds, Amp starts to get more and more agitated. Not about the match in the ring, but about the RTC. Amp couldn't care less about The Red Scare, all he cares about is his buddy getting banned. He clearly firmly places the blame on Platt and DavidEFC, and decides to take matters into his own hands. He lifts the conveniently handled top half of the steel steps, and charges both men, knocking them to the floor. The match turns into all out chaos, as everyone turns on each other. Cali joines Imperfect in the ring and they double team BDW, as Chris Heel performs a very basic jump onto Amp who is ringside. The ref calls for the bell, but this does nothing to stop the carnage. Heel's acrobatics allow Platt and David to regain their composure, and they hit the ring, clearing the Red Scare. As AMP and the Red Scare stand on the ouside furiously, Rajah appears on the screen.

Rajah: Seems like we have ourselves a problem here. Well, there's an easy way to solve this. Next week at Fusion, we're going to have ourselves a Gauntlet match to decide the WWF tag team chapms. Now, get out of my sight all 8 of you, before I have you banned from the arena!

The camera cuts to backstage where Pac-o-maaniac is preparing for a debate about how he believes wrestling ability to be more important tha a good character in terms of success in the business. From the shadows, Super Delfin emerges.

Super Delfin: Recent years in the professional wrestling world have shown that the characters wrestlers portray and nearly every imaginable facet surrounding them is critical in creating successful careers, as well as successful businesses. While there is no doubt that wrestling ability is crucial in many ways also, history has shown time and time again a popular gimmick can’t be topped in terms of the interest and revenue it generates. It is the intention of the author to show this in terms of historical facts as well as current situations in the posts to come.

Delfin has outlined such a comprehensive argument that Pac-o-maniac has no response, and leaves Delfin to win by default. The camre cuts back to the ring, where the Hardocre division Rock Paper Scissors match is about to get underway.

In the ring, we see Jax, Chaos and KIF all holding rocks. SideFX, Metalic, MITB and and Movement are all holding scissors. Master DG is holing a piece of paper. Dumbass.


The match kicks off, and we have immediate action. Jax and Chaos strike first with rock shots to the head of Movement. SideFX and MITB land some piercing jabs of the scissors to KIF's sternum. DG looks at his piece of A4. Seriously, given the choice of a rock and a scissors, who the fuck brings a sheet of paper to a fight? Chaos squares up to DG with his rock. DG looks chuffed with himself as he places the paper over Chaos's rock. Chaos looks even more pleased as he smashes his rock over DG's face. Whoever decided that paper beats rock is a moron. How? Becuase it covers it? I'd put money that a covered, hidden rock is more dangerous than a rock out in the open. But that's for another story.

The macth progresses with everyone (apart from DG, who keeps giving himself paper cuts) getting embroiled in a mass pile up. Skulls are getting shattered, stomachs are getting stabbed, DG is slicing himself, this is a bloodbath. On the 8 minute mark, is appears that Jax legitamely stabs Movement in the eye. You really cant fake a scissors to the eye ball. This legit injury causes everyone to turn on each other, and within a minute it is every man for himself.

Rock strikes leave Movement, Chaos and DG knocked out, while KIF and MITB manage to stab the holy hell out of Metalic and SideFX. Jax takes a garbage can to the face from someone in the crowd, and the only two men left standing are MITB and KIF. At this point, Rajah appears again.

Rajah: Stop this smatch now! I decide who goes on to Fusion based off the hardcore title match I just saw, and it seems pretty obvious to me that only men left eligable are KIF and MITB. So that's how it's going to happen, at Fusion, for the WWF hardcore title!

Ad...​

As we come back from the ad, we see Fail stopped at the side of a road by the police, who have a very upset 6 year old boy in the back of their cruiser.

Fail: Officer, I wouldn't have stolen his bike if it wasn't an emergency, you have to believe me!

The camera cuts back to Rajah's office, where Rajah is preparing to interview someone about why they deserve to be at Fusion.

Rajah: OK Grendrill, we're going to play a game of word association to see if you're what we're looking for. Ready? Lets go. Hulk Hogan.

Grendrill: Right time, right place. He's a very lucky man.

Rajah: Donald Trump.

Grendrill: Gave the WWE very good exposure.

Rajah: Vince McMahon.

Grendrill: Great promoter and business, good booker for the most part(some questionable decisions, Katie Vick?).

Rajah: Umaga.

Grendrill: Samoan Kane. He'll have Main Event feuds, but he'll mostly dwell in the mid-card.

Before Rajah can go any further, Szumi pops his head into the office.

Szumi: Eh, before you go any further, I'd like to refer you to the following Rajah. Do'h!

Rajah: You plaugerising bastard, get out!!!

The camera cuts to the ring, where we can see a large pole attatched to each of the four ringposts. Atop each pole, there is a large sheet covering what is underneath it. Underneath one of these poles is a weedwhacker. Under the other three, are various gardenening utensils. The first person to find the weedwhacker goes on to face Carl for the United States Championship at Fusion.

The match kicks off with the old faithfuls, Refuse, Diesel, RaS, EGame and MrMondayNight. As per usual with these men, each individual sticks to their forte. RaS snaps around people's heels; Diesel steals some famous characters moves; MMN gets stoned and rolls around trying to impress everyone, and failing; Refuse flips around like a gymnast and EGame racks and elbows people. Consistency at it's finest people.

After much of the same unoriginal moves as per their previous matches, MMN spots an opertunity. He climbs up one of the poles and whips off the sheet to reveal...a hoe. A garden hoe. As Slick screams out "It's a hoe King!", Holt appears on the ramp to have a look. Upon seeing the garden variety of hoe, he slumps away dejectedly. Nonetheless, MMN uses the hoe to his advantage, and swings it lethargically at Diesel. Diesel, who was busy looking up the latest news on SVR2008, takes it right to the skull and gets knocked out of the ring.

RaS spots an oppertunity, and after delivering a 619 around a pole to EGame, climbs up the pole to unveil a packet of weedkiller. RaS decides not to let it go to waste, and sprinkels some on the ground. MMN, thinking they might be presciption painkillers, proceeds to gobble them up. Within seconds, he's being rushed off to the hospital. Dumbass.

At this point, we have two poles remaining, with RaS, Refuse and EGame vying for them. That's a bit of a lie, because Refuse has no interest in the match and is just running around aimlessly. But I diverse. EGame racks the hell out of RaS, and looks up at his choices. One sheet covers what appears to be the outline of a wheelbarrow. The other, which is actually marked "Weedwhacker", appears to be the weedwhacker. Tough choice. EGame goes for the wheelbarrow shaped sheet, and to no-one's surprise, reveals a wheelbarrow. EGame seems infuriated, and his anger is not helped when the wheelbarrow doesn't show any signs of being hurt after a vicious rack.

RaS looks up at the remaining pole, and slowly starts to clamber up the pole. He is inches away from his prize, when a loud "Woooo!" is heard. It's Derek!!! Derek runs down the ramp, grabs RaS by the ankle and spins around with him, throwing him into the crowd. Derek climbs the pole, and retrieves the weedwhacker. Derek wins!

2Slick: Bah Gawd King, Derek just stole it! Derek is going on to face that Welsh bastard at Fusion! Get at him Derek!

Roman King: I thought you were supposed to be unbiased...

2Slick: I am. And I unbiasedly hope Derek destroys that Welshy!

The camera cuts to the ouside, where Fail is running down the road with two fat cops chasing him.

Cop: You there, stop!

Fail: I can't! This is too important!

Cop: Don't make me shoot you!

Fail: My life is insignificant if I don't make it to the show anyway! Ahhh!

The camera then cuts to the parking lot, where WCW is seen beside the RTC's white limo. He has destroyed it with "4lyfe" graffiti, and looks chuffed with himself. He looks straight at the camera.

WCW: I'm not banned from the parking lot...

In the bacckground we can hear someone shout out "HIGH FIVE" enthusiastically.

Ad...​

We come back from the ad, and it's main event time. This is what we've been waiting for. "Sexyboy" announces Spartanlax's arrival, and he plays to the crowd as he makes his way to the ring. He looks ready for a fight.

Motorhead blare out over the speakers, and we know Role Model has arrived. Role Model takes an eternity to make his way to the ring, much to the annoyance of everyone in the crowd.


The match kicks off at a high tempo. On one side, we have the youthful energy of Spartanlax. On the other, the ever so slightly less youthful energy of Role Model. Things could get ugly here.

Within minutes, it is obvious that this is going to be an especially bloody encounter. To say these guys were working stiff on each other would be incorrect. This is shoot fighting, and neither man is pulling their punches.

After Lax oversells in the extreme, he suddenly no sells the follow up clothesline and kicks Role Model straight in the face with a sweet chin music out of nowhere. Some might say this would be an oppertune time to go for the pin, but pinning Role Model for the 123 holds little satisfaction when you can kick him in the head repeatedly. Which is what Lax does. Repeatedly. The crowd actually stop cheering, as this is getting sickening. Role Model's head is flopping about on the canvas, and the kicks aren't ceasing.

Suddenly, a figure emerges from beneath the ring. He sneaks up behind the unsuspecting Lax and clobbers him over the head with a rock. The figure then gets up in the face of the knocked out Lax, shouting "I should have had the HBK gimmick! You stole it! You'll pay for this!" The figure then dumps Role Model's battered body of Lax for the 123. Role Model wins. Somehow.

Everyone is shocked at what has just transpired. They have no idea how to react, as the rock wielding, pissed off SideFX walks back up the ramp after ruining Spartanlax's title hopes.

Role Model isn't getting away so lightly though, as NCIH comess charging out of the back and proceeds to attack the lifeless Role Model with a steel chair. His fun is cut short by Pyro, who runs in with a baseball bat and clears NCIH from the ring. Unfortunately for Role Model, Pyro also bashes him with his weapon.

The camera cuts back to Rajah's office, as Flash bursts in.

Flash: Rajah, we've got a big problem.

Rajah: I know, but who ever used the search function anyway?

Flash: No, bigger than that. They're in the building.

Rajah: Who's in the building?

Flash: Them.

Rajah: What! How!? Where! Get them!

The camera cuts back to the arena, where some pyro and flashy music is going off. The crowd have no idea what's going on, until suddenly the most electrifying 8 words in the business blare out.

"If ya smell...what The Slam, is cooking."

Slam appears on the ramp, and he starts walking towards the ring, only to pause, and look back, as none other than Linda "Cowie" McMahon follows him out. The crowd is practically orgasming in their seats. Mark fucking out time.

Slam gets in the ring, and grabs a micraphone.


Slam: Finally, The Slam, has come back, to WWF!

The crowd cheer emphatically.

Slam: Before you all get too excited though, Slam is not back under the best of circumstances. You see, Slam has been desperately trying to leave Hollywood for some time now. The Slam's place is here. The Slam's people, are here. So The Slam did what he had to do to get here. He contacted the only woman who strikes fear into the heart of that poop chute loving Rajah. And thanks to Cowie, with a little convincing from the Slam's Struddle, The Slam is back!

As the crowd erupts, Rajah appears on the ramp.

Rajah: How dare you! My own wife, stabbing me in the back!

Slam: Actually, the Slam was stabbing her from the back, if you get what The Slam is saying.

Rajah: Shut up! I don't know what makes you think you can just waltz in here! I have the money, I have the power, and you are just nothing but a worthless piece of trash!

Slam: You know what Rajah, you're right. The Slam doesn't have the power to compete with you. I mean sure, The Slam can use Cowie to get him access to the arena. But you're right, The Slam doesn't have the money or the power to challenge you on a full scale.

Rajah: You're damn right!

Slam: Which is why The Slam recruited himself a benefactor. A benefactor with more power than you'll ever have. Rajah, I'd like you to meet, The Slam's new friend, Donald "Rob" Trump!

Rajah looks on in shock as Rob joins Slam and Cowie in the ring. How can this be happening to him?

Slam: You see, Rajah, you made a big mistake by not bringing The Slam back. Because now, The Slam is going to make you're life a living hell. Best of luck with Fusion, old man. You're going to need it. If ya smell...what The Slam, is cooking!

The crowd erupts in a frenzy as Slam walks back and forth in the ring, eying up Rajah. Rajah looks like he just got hit by a freight train.

2Slick: He's back King, and he's better than ever! What will this mean for Fusion! How is Rajah going to cope? And will Jax take another random Garbage can to the face? I don't know! I'll see you at Fusion folks!

As the camera is panning back, Fail comes charging into the arena, 6 cops and a helicopter chasing after him.

Fail: I made it! I'm here! Wait!!

Fade to close​

Fail: DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
#927 · (Edited)
Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forums
Wednesday 8th August​

With a Snap moron, Crackle and Pop, the pyro explodes on the ramp. The crowd cheers in anticipation. The crowd being 3 people.

God damn Battle Royale.


2Slick: Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, and welcome to Wrasslin Wrestlin Forums!

Roman King: I agree, welcome to WWF!

2Slick: Well King we've got a great show coming up on the back of Lightning!

Roman King: If you say so.

2Slick: I do say so! What's going to happen after the shocking events that took place here?

Roman King: Ehh...I don't know. Don't hurt me.

2Slick: Hurt you? Why on earth would I hurt you!?

Roman King: Why would you hurt Carl :(

2Slick: Ha! I sure put him in his place!

Roman King: But...everyone loves Carl.

2Slick: Do you!?

Roman King: Ehh...ummm...next question.

2Slick: Don't make me slap you.

Roman King: You're mean.

Before 2Slick slaps King upside the head for being a pussy, he is interrupted by a loud boo from the crowd. Imperfect is coming down to the ring! Imperfect grabs a mic and enters the ring.

Imperfect: I'll cut straight to the point. Cali, I don't know what has happened you lately. Frankly, I don't give a shit. When I am your partner, you show me some God damn respect! I demand you come out here and face me like a man!

The crowd cheers a little, and those cheers erupt into a glorious reception as the sound everyone's been waiting to hear comes through loudly. Glass shattering.

Cali walks straight down to the ring, knee brace and all. He rolls into the ring and strides over to the far turnbuckle, standing atop it to the crowd's delight. Cali works the crowd for a minute or two, before grabbing a microphone of his own, and pacing back and forth.


Cali: You've got some nerve Imperfect, oh yeah you got some nerve...calling out Cali like this. You think Cali has nothing better to do than talk to some little pretty boy? Are you saying I like pretty boys?

Imperfect: Not at all. I honestly don't think their attractiveness matters to you when you pick em.



The crowd cheers loudly, as Cali signals his disapproval of Imperfect's joke. Cali lunges for Imperfect, but Imperfect leaps out of the ring. He starts screaming something towards Cali about how he doesn't need this shit, and he has his own fans over on the Battle Royale island. Cali ignores the shouts, and signals for a few joints to be thrown into the ring. He performs the patented "joint bash", and sits down and gets blazed to the delight of the crowd.

The camera pans to backstage, where Homicide is seen talking to Women's champion, BIE.

Homicide: Nah, if I'm unbiased, that was a pretty impressive win at Lightning.

BIE: When I beat your little girlfriend?

Homicide: Hey, don't push your luck. You're lucky I'm even talking to you.

BIE: Pfft, you wouldn't hit a woman.

Unknown voice: I would.

Homicide and BIE turn around to see Catalanotto standing menacingly behind them.

Homicide: DAMN. You's one scary ass bitch.

Catalanotto: I prefer to go by Catalanotto.

Homicide: Catamanotto?

Catalanotto: Cat...a...lan

Homicide: Cat...a...man

Catalanotto: :mad:

Homicide: :confused:

BIE: You got something you wanna say to me Cat?

Catalanotto: Nope. I'm gonna show you instead.

At this point, Homicide runs away without looking back. He really doesn't want to see what Cat has to show. Homicide, not Homocide.

BIE: You looking for a title shot?

Catalanotto: I don't look for anything. I take what I want.

BIE: You think you can take me?

(Homicide from down the hall: SHE'LL TAKE YOU ALRIGHT!)

Catalanotto: Ha. Watch your back, bitch.

At this point, Catalanotto turns on her heels and walks away. BIE stands after her, boring two piercing holes into her back. Homicide is crying in the car.

We see WCW and AMP talking to each other in the locker room.


WCW: Wanna see something cool?

AMP: Sure.

WCW: David.

David:
You called?

WCW: Nothing.

AMP: WTF!? Where did he come from? And where is he gone?

WCW: I have absolutely no idea.

Ad...

As we come back from the ad, The Major Brothers IYF and Hailsabin are in the ring. A bad graphic of a bad pool shot appears on the titantron, and it appears Jeff and Richie are on their way to the ring.

Hailsabin starts off the match for the debuting brothers, squaring off against Jeff. They lock up, and Hailsabin immediately gets Jeff in a headlock. Jeff counters by throwing him against the ropes. IYF notices Richie raising a leg to kick his brother in the small of the back, and goes to shout out "Behind you!". What comes out is "Above you!".

Force of habit.

With the assist of Richie, Jeff pounces. He manages to ground Hailsabin, and starts to work him over. Unfortunately for Jeff, he underestimates Hailsabin's mat wrestling skills, and he quickly finds himself beneath the more technically skilled athlete. However, like during his ppv match, Jeff shows great heart and he manages to crawl to the ropes.

Jeff tags in Richie, and Hailsabin replies with tagging in IYF. Terrible decision. By both teams. What follows is so dreary, it's not worthy of repeating. So I'm skipping it.

IYF makes the hot tag to Hailsabin, who floors both Jeff and Richie. Hailsabin prepares Richie to finish him off, but out of nowhere Jeff comes in with a low blow! Jeff jumps out of the ring as Richie rolls up Hailsabin for the 3 count!


The crowd boos loudly, as Jeff celebrates up the ramp. He doesn't care that the crowd have turned completely against him...he has a win under his belt.

The camera jumps backstage, where Hardcore champion Ghetto Anthony is speaking to a few fans. GA earned a lot of respect for his showing at Lightning, and even though he didn't get the win. he certainly won back some dignity.

A very loud "ROFL" catches GA's attention. Only one person laughs in that maniac a manner. None other than the Million Dollar Man, Mr DiCrowley.


Crowley: rofl @ your fans.

GA: What do you want Crowley?

Crowley: Just popping by. Hey kid, want some money?

Kid: Yes please, Mr DiCrowley. I'm ever so hungry.

Crowley: rofl @ you. Beat it.

GA: Hey! Don't be mean! It's ok kid, he didn't mean it.

Crowley: I really did, you stupid nub. Fuck you guys, I'm out of here. rofl @ all of you.

As Crowley walks off laughing heartily, GA stares after him, his rage apparent. Trouble in paradise, folks.

Ad...

Backstage, WCW and AMP are in a completely empty gym.

WCW: David.

David:
You called?

WCW: Nothing.

AMP: That's just freaky...

We see Mr Perfect sitting ringside in a commentator’s chair.

2Slick: At this time, it is my distinct pleasure to introduce to you, the new United States champion...Mr Perfect!

Mr Perfect: Thank you, thank you very much Slick.

Roman King: You should be thanking him.

Mr Perfect: Now what is that supposed to mean?

2Slick: Don't mind my foolish partner, he simply doesn't appreciate greatness.

Roman King: That's not true Slick, I do appreciate greatness. And frankly, Mr Perfect, your match with Carl at Lightning was greatness. Right up until the end.

Mr Perfect: Are you saying my winning the US title wasn't great?

Roman King: What I'm saying is that it was a shame such a great match had to end in such controversy.

Mr Perfect: What controversy? Carl lost. I won. That's it.

2Slick: Exactly, that's it.

Roman King: You're both delusional.

The emergence of a superstar coming down the ramp once more saves Roman King from an almighty beating. It appears the 6 man battle royal match to determine Perfect's opponent next week is next!

First out is an old face with a new gimmick. Diesel, finally embracing his Asian heritage, yee-has his way down to the ring. Diesel Wang Yang has arrived.

Second to come down is Emperor DC. He has a gammy leg, so he's hobbling a little bit. That can't be good.

Alex "Will94" Shelley is a surprise third entrant. He comes to the ring with his camcorder in hand. Seeing as it never leaves his hand, it is admissible as part of his attire for the match.

DDMac makes his way down to the ring, to the horror of the other three entrants. No one likes paying tax..especially of the Max variety. Mac looks especially pissed that he is still wearing gold tights. He was hoping for red ones by now.

Dark Church comes flying down the ring as the fifth entrant. Not because he's especially eager to get the match started...his brakes are broken.

The last man to walk down the ramp is none other than former US champ Carl! He walks around the ring, eying up his potential competition, but suddenly leaps backwards and onto 2Slick! Carl starts reigning down the punches on 2Slick as they brawl into the crowd! It appears Carl isn't in this match after all!

The final entrant to the battle royal is certainly a crowd favourite, if not renowned for his wrestling prowess. A very drunk, very unbalanced, very funny Tom stumbles down to the ring with a bottle of voddie in his hand. Oddly, he seems to be shouting out random odds for who's going to win the match. What's up with that?


The match starts off at a high pace. Emperor DC takes a huge Mac Smack to the nose, just before Mac gets Asianed by Diesel. Chopsticks to the eye hurt like hell. As does a camcorder to the skull, as Diesel soon finds out courtesy of Will. For his troubles, Will gets run over by Dark Church's wheelchair, and yelps from the excruciating pain in his big toe. Tom punches the turnbuckle.


The action is fast and furious, as every man fights for his life. Diesel suffers an early scare as Mac tries to clothesline him over the top rope. Fortunately for him, Will wasn't ready to gif the move, so he cuts off Mac's attempt with a picture perfect drop kick. Meanwhile, Emperor DC tries to get behind Dark Church for a chokehold. Church counters by rolling backwards, causing Emperor unfathomable pain in his already injured leg. Tom is now apologising to the turnbuckle for his earlier outburst.


Diesel quickly recognises his biggest threat in this match. Although Diesel's reputation is fearsome, Mac aint that far behind. Diesel waits for his opportunity, before going Kung Fu Power Ranger Anime on Mac's ass, sending him flying over the top rope. Diesel's smug :eek: smile doesn't last for long, however, as Will clobbers him with the camcorder, sending him straight after Mac right over the top rope. Meanwhile, Emperor DC sees Dark Church against the ropes and charges for a clothesline. Fortunately for Dark Church, he is in a regular sized wheelchair, so Emperor DC completely misses and ends up eliminating himself. Tom is now asleep in the turnbuckle.


It's down to Tom, Will and Dark Church. Will charges, and catches Dark Church off guard. He throws Church against the ropes, and prepares himself to help him on his way as he comes back. Suddenly, Tom springs to life. He rolls the bottle of vodka into Dark Church's path. Church's own momentum counts against him, as he flies over the bottle and into the air. He catches the surprised Will flush in the face and they both go flying over the top rope. Tom wins the battle royal!


Roman King: Well, what do you think about that Perfect! Next week, you're going to be putting your title on the line against none other than Tom!

Mr Perfect: That drunk old bastard doesn't scare me! I'll destroy him, just like I destroyed Carl!

Roman King: Really!? Well, an absolutely locked Tom just beat six of the most able wrasslers we have...imagine what he could do sober.

A sobering thought...

Ad...

As we come back, a camera shows us WCW and AMP on the moon, in a cave, wearing camouflage and communicating through telepathy.

WCW: David.

David:
You called?

WCW: Nothing.

AMP: :argh:

The camera cuts back to the ring, where Kaneanite is standing awaiting his match up with David. David arrives promptly looking angry and determined. He believes Otacon and Kaneanite's actions to be reprehensible during the ppv, and there is a score to be settled.

That match starts off with no less aggression than you would expect from these two. This is power wrestling at it's finest. David throws Kaneanite to the ropes, and catches him with an unflinching shoulder block, knocking Kaneanite straight down. David bounces off the ropes and leaps Kaneanite's grounded body as he traverses the ring. Kaneanite nips up in a flash, and David receives a shoulder block of his own. Kaneanite stands up and both men stare at each other.

David goes for a succession of punches, which are all smoothly deflected by Kaneanite. David goes for the sweep, and Kaneanite jumps to his belly. David's stomp is averted by a roll to the side. A second stomp attempt is similarly averted, and Kaneanite kicks up between David's legs, catching him on the back. Kaneanite stands up, and goes for a few punches of his own, which are deftly avoided by David. David pushes Kaneanite back, and goes for a low sliding tackle. Kaneanite leaps over his body in a forward roll, and as David stands up he is greeted by a spinning enziguiri to the head!

Mmmm, that's good stealing.

Before the match can go any further, Platt comes charging down to the ring. He slides in and catches Kaneanite with a belly to back suplex. Kaneanite lands hard on his neck...but not as hard as the smack Platt receives from the baseball bat, courtesy of an interfering Otacon! The ref calls for the bell, and all four men start to brawl. Suddenly, two other figures slide into the ring. BDV1 and Stainless make light work of the four men, clearing the ring. OrGAZmic.


Roman King: Looks like the UK Kliq are more than just figureheads folks!

The camera cuts backstage, where Pyro walks into the locker room.

Pyro: Well, I just heard so I might as well tell you guys. Next week, there is an open invitational first blood match. What that means, anyone who wants to can go out and compete for the number one contender's spot for the WWF title. The last man to bleed gets the spot. I thought I'd tell you know, so that you have a full week to consider who you might want to take out before next week. Enjoy the next seven days, folks.

Ad...​

As we come back from the ad, we see a very sombre Rajah standing in the middle of the ring.

Rajah: Folks, I wont ignore it. I got beaten at Lightning. Not fairly, but I got beaten. And I'll take it like a man. However, what I will NOT accept is everyone trying to take over my show! Flash has shown his allegiances. They may be foolish ones, but that is his choice to make. This message goes out to Nitemare, Amish, and Babyboy. Welcome back guys. Things look different? They should. This isn't the Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forums you guys left. This is MY Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forums, and if you plan on being a part of it you had better accept that!

Rajah is suddenly cut off by an image on the Titantron. It is Flash, BDV1, Kliqster, Stainless and AlexXx.

Flash Dad, I'm going to have to stop you right there. You USED to run this place. But times change. And your time has come and passed. The UK Kliq is back in force, and there's nothing you, nor your little minions David and Platt can do about that. Now, onto more....

The titantron suddenly goes blank. There is confusion amongst the crowd, before Nitemare, Amish and Babyboy appear at the top of the ramp.

Nitemare: Oops...did I do that? You see Rajah, you couldn't do that even if you wanted to. I can do shit. I know how to run Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forums better than you ever could.

Amish: He's right Rajah. I made this organisation the profitable one it is today.

Nitemare: Profitable? Can you afford to pay me?

Amish: Yes...

Nitemare: Will you?

Amish: No...

Nitemare: :mad:

Babyboy: You see Rajah, and if you can hear me UK Kliq, we hold the power. We hold influence over every single guy on this roster. There is nothing you, nor the UK cocksuckers can do about it. Welcome to hell Rajah. Try not to burn....

Nitemare: You really should pay me...

Roman King: I feel his pain :(

Fade to close...
 
#1,001 ·
1000th reply, thank you Ben :)

Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forums
17th October 2007

There is twenty minutes of outstanding pyro to open tonights show. The crowd whispers that this is a way of congratulating the recognition of Meltziner as an authoritive figure in WWF. Others say it's because the techies are celebrating the promotion of head techy, LawOutlaw. Truth be told, Monty Hayes just wanted to use up some time.

Welcome to WWF.


2Slick: Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen, to the best night of your wrasslin' life!

Roman King: Yes, wel...hold on Slick. I know we are meant to promote the show, but we've had some amazing nights here at WWF. What makes you say this will be the best night the viewers have ever seen?

2Slick: Pretty simple. The great 2Slick is making his in ring debut!

Roman King: Ha!HAHA! Oh boy you're gonna get destroyed tonight!

2Slick: Post count is off in WOW.

Roman King: WHAT!?!?!? :mad:

The camera cuts to the back where we see Rajah, David and Platt walking around.

Rajah: Seriously, I'm pissed. We need to find a 4th member.

David: What about Blade?

Platt: Blade values his family and life outside of WWF more than this. I think that tells us all we need to know about Blade.

Rajah: That he has a life?

David: :side:

Platt: :side:

Rajah: We need someone who will fight to the death. Someone they wont be expecting. I refuse to go into this match at a disadvantage!

David: Ok. We'll need someone with strength and wits. Someone we can all agree on.

Platt: We need to make sure we all get along with this person. How about we interview people for the task, and we all get one veto?

Rajah: Perfect.

At this point, Super Delfin walks out of the locker room, a billowing cloud of smoke following him out.

David: Hold up guys. This could be our man right here. Delfin is probably one of the most feared men on WWF...his name alone strikes fear into an opponent.

Rajah: Agreed. One of the few morons around here who actually makes sense. Hell, even a stoned Delfin is better than 95% of the people on here.

Platt: Veto.

Rajah: What the hell!? You're vetoing Delfin!?

David: :confused:

Platt: He got the indy rule changed.

Rajah: :mad:

David: :mad:

Platt: :D

The camera cuts back to the ring, and we see the establishment, Role Model and NCIH standing in the ring. They are awaiting Pyro, and his surprise tag team partner.

Pyro arrives on the ramp, and as his music dies, it is not apparent as to who his partner is. Suddenly, Pyro's music hits again. Role Model and NCIH look as confused as everyone else when Pyro's partner turns out to be.....Pyro!?!?!?

The crowd is stunned into silence, as two identical Pyro's walk down to the ring. What the hell is going on!?


Pyro and..Pyro...roll into the ring one after the other. A stare down ensues as Role Model stares at Pyro and NCIH stares at Pyro. Out of nowhere, Pyro throws a right hand at RM. Pyro follows suit and throws a right at NCIH. Pyro Irish whips RM into the ropes, and clobbers him with a clothesline. Pyro, watching this, copies the move exactly on NCIH.

That must be it! We don't have two Pyros! We have Pyro and a Pyro copycat!

It must be Legend!!!

Pyro and RM roll out of the ring, and this match is officially underway. However, it appears Pyro didn't think his plan through fully. With no one to copy, Legend doesn't quite know what to do and as such receives an awful beating from NCIH. NCIH tags in RM, who walks over to Legend's crumpled body, giving it a prod or two.

RM picks up Legend, and hurls his body at Pyro, inadvertently tagging him in. Pyro looks reluctant for a moment, but quickly regains his composure, and charges into the ring. The two behomoths exchange rights and lefts, with Pyro gaining the upper hand. Pyro goes for the Irish whip, but RM reverses it. RM bends down for the backbody drop, but Pyro puts on the brakes and gives him a back body slap instead!

RM is not impressed, and stand up to his full height. Pyro's smile quickly disappears, as he starts backing up pleading for mercy. RM is not interested, and he delivers a swift boot to Pyros stomach, before thrusting his head between his legs, setting up the pedigree.

Before RM can finish the match, a couple of wrasslers storm the ring and distract RM. As the ref calls for the bell, RM is left to fend off an attack from the Liverpudlian brigade of KME and DRE. He quickly disposes of the hired goons, but the interference has given Pyro the chance to escape. RM seethes with anger as he points up the ramp at Pyro before delivering devestating pedigrees to both KME and DRE.

A sign of what's to come!?


Ad...

As we come back from the ad, we see Catalanotto backstage. She is boasting to the other women in the locker room.

Cat: You're all pathetic. Seriously pathetic. BIE is your champ!? BIE!?!?

Rebel By Design: Hey, she's tough!

Cat: Eating raw fish is tough honey. Taking it up the ass and asking for seconds is tough. BIE? Pfft. My vagina is tougher than her.

Minterz: Maybe that's why no one will touch it?

Cat: STFU! You all want me, and you know it. and as I've told everyone before, in every second thread, I like cock. So stop staring at me like a piece of meat.

Tempest: Look, if you really are that tough, why don't you just challenge her to a match at Massacre?

Cat: I'll go one better. I'm issuing a 24/7 challenge, from now until Massacre. If anyone can pin me, at any time, between now and WWF Massacre, they can fight BIE for the Womens title!

From the shadows comes flying a frying pan which clocks Cat straight upside the head. The other women look on in shock as Aussie elegantly strolls over and places her foot on Cat's stomach, and out loud counts slowly to three.

Aussie: She was asking for that. Ladies, get ready to crown a new champ at Massacre.

The camera pans back to the arena where the crowd are whooping and hollering at the announced match for Massacre!

Crowd: Swerve! Swerve! Swerve!

Aussie and BIE for the womens title! However, before they can get too excited, a random figure is seen sprinting down to the ring. It's Monty Hayes!

Monty's reason for running is soon apparent, as after him come The HNIC...Holt Mac and Cide. The crowd cheer, mainly for the fact that Mac finally fits in with his stable mates....and he is wearing a t-shirt saying "I have a red bar too" to emphasise the fact.

Monty's sprint soon becomes a jog, which turns into a quick walk, which turns into Monty collapsing on a chair and lighting up a smoke.

Fat bastard.


Holt: Jesus christ man, we've only been chasing you for ten seconds. How unfit are you?

Mac: To be fair Holt, I'm pretty tired too. Not all of us work out every day.

Cide: That's blatently obvious Mac.

Mac: :mad:

Holt: Lets focus on the issue at hand you ignant fools, and not my buns of steel. Irishman, why the hell haven't we featured the last few weeks?

Monty: To be fair, I've been much lazier than that. I believe you'll find the time frame in question spans months.

Mac: You're not supposed to admit that...

Cide: We get it. You're a lazy bathturd. But what are you going to do about it now!? We demand to feature!

Monty cowers as the huge black men (and Holt) loom over him threateningly, but his beatdown is stopped by a very unlikely source.

It's Szumi!


Szumi: Oi! Jobber! Yeah, you with the jobber red bar!

Mac: You talking to me son?

Szumi: Who else would I be talking to!? I don't see any other jobber red bars arou....oh, Holt and Cide. Touche.

Mac: Listen punk, we're in the middle of something here, so if you wouldn't mind...

Szumi: See that's the problem. I WOULD mind. You see, I happen to have a problem with that t-shirt you're wearing! I think you'll find that t-shirt is rightfully mine!

Cide: Mac, are you going to take care of this moron or am I going to have to knock him the fuck out?

Before Mac can respond, a new voice announces his arrival!

i$e: Cide you wouldn't know a knockout if it stole your fried chicken.

Cide: What the hell!? What's your problem!

i$e: I don't really have one actually. It's just that you wrasslers piss me off. I'm here to MMA some ass.

MMA: Oh am I a girl again?

All: GTFO

i$e: Seeing as you guys wont stop bitching, I thought I'd prove to the world that MMA is the true sport of kings!

Holt: I actually agree with him on that one. I fully believe that MMA will be the...

Before Holt can finish his sentance, POD pops up between Szumi and i$e.

POD: POD for Mod!!!

Holt: That's it! You bastards just pushed me over the edge! The HNIC v i$e, Szumi, and POD (for mod) at Massacre! Monty, go get drunk. We've found our own fight!

The six men stare off as Monty duly obliges Holt's instructions...

Ad...

We come back from the ad to see Rajah, David and Platt sitting in Rajah's office awaiting the next interviewee. The door opens...

David: :D

Platt: :D

Rajah: :argh:

Emperor DC: Hi guys.

David: Hi Emperor DC. So, tell us, what makes you think you could be a good addition to our team?

Emperor DC: Well, I'm from the UK, and

David: That's all we need to hear. Welcome aboard.

Platt: Congrats on making the team.

Rajah: Veto.

David: Why?

Platt: He's exactly what we need?

Rajah: Veto'd based off the fact he has at some stage in his life said the words "chum" and "jolly good". GTFO.

The camera cuts to the parking lot, where WCW and AMP are waiting for Jeff and Richie so they can have this match and get inside to the warmth.

WCW: Twenty bucks says he doesn't show.

AMP: Can you spot me twenty bucks?

WCW: Here.

AMP: Cheers...twenty bucks says you're on!

Jeff: We're here!

AMP: You owe me twenty bucks.

WCW: How the hell am I down forty...

Jeff: I said we're here!!

AMP: Someone's in a rush to get murdered...

The brawl starts off in unsurprising terms. WCW takes Richie and starts battering the ever loving shit out of him. Meanwhile, AMP starts beating up Jeff with a traffic cone.

Richie manages to find his feet, and WCW chases him back into the arena while Jeff and AMP continue to slug it out. WCW catches up to Richie in the tech room, and proceeds to shove his head through a moniter, ending Richie's participation. Rather than bother moving, WCW sits down to watch AMP beat up Jeff on the monitor.

AMP seems to be completely dominant...but some eerie starts playing, and AMP turns around to see CaptChristian slowly walking towards him. "AMPLine4Lyfe....surprised to see me?" asks CaptChristian. AMP and CaptChristian start to exchange blows...but suddenly it feels like AMP is fighting three men. Then four. Then five.

WCW looks at the moniter in horror as more and more identical wrasslers emerge from everywhere as AMP desperately tries to fight them off. What WCW sees staggers him. Is it possible?

Fantasy, CaptChristian, ADR Lavey, JDL, Taker, HKB91, Thunderman...

AMP finally escapes to the back, exhausted from his fight.


WCW: It was the WF Kliq...

AMP: Yes...

WCW: There's more of them...

AMP: A lot more...

Ad...

2Slick: This is it folks! King, you're on your own, because it's time for what we've all been waiting for! 2Slick makes his in ring debut!

Roman King: How long has post count in WOW been turned off!?

2Slick climbs into the ring to to the loud booing of the crowd. This guy just loves being a heel. Mr Perfect comes out to a similar reception, and makes his way down to the ring. Perfect is bruised from last weeks encounter, but he seems willing and ready to fight.

FS comes out onto the ramp to a great cheer, and that cheers only gets louder when the US champ Tom staggers out behind him. FS and Tom stare at each other for a moment, before shaking hands. It appears differences will be put aside for the time being.


The match starts off with 2Slick and Tom in the ring. Slick offers a test of strength, but uses underhand tactics and kicks Tom in the stomach as Tom goes to reciprocate. Slick then rakes the back, pokes the eye, and gives a low blow to Tom. Slick follows this up by charging at FS and knocking him off the apron.

Slick laps up the crowds disproval before tagging in Perfect. Perfect lays into Tom with unyielding ferocity. He throws Tom into the turnbuckle, and follows it up with a crushing clothesline. As the ref has his back turned, Slick chokes Tom in the corner. This guy really likes being a heel.

Perfect drags Tom out of the corner and goes for a suplex, but Tom manages to reverse it into a neckbreaker! Tom leaps towards the corner and makes the tag to FS! FS comes in charging and knocks down Perfect with a succesion of shoulder blocks. FS bounces off the ropes, but 2Slick kicks him in the small of the back as he comes off the ropes! As FS staggers forward, FS runs off the ropes himself with a bulldog in mind...but he falls over the top rope! Slick leant down on the top rope and FS went flying over!

It seems like Slick doesn't care who's side he's on, he just wants to piss everyone off! Perfect gets back into the ring, and confronts Slick. Slick delivers an open palmed slap for his troubles...which inceses Perfect! Soon enough, Tom FS and Perfect are all pummeling 2Slick!

As a bloody Slick slides out of the ring, Tom FS and Perfect all forget about the match at hand and it turns into a free for all. The bell rings, but no one stops fighting until officials swarm the ring to break everyone apart. No contest result!


Rajah appears on the titantron and his shouting quickly gets everyone's attention.

Rajah: Cut it out! Seeing as you all want to get at each other so much, I'm going to give you the chance. At WWF Massacre, it will be Mr Perfect, against FS, against the United States Champion Tom in a US title triple threat match!

All three men look satisfied with this announcement, but Rajah isn't finished yet.

Rajah: I wouldn't be so happy if I were any of you. You see, that match will have a special guest referee to ensure everything goes by the book. That referee, will be none other than 2Slick! I hope you guys know how to grovel...

The camera cuts back Rajah's office as he turns his attention back to David and Platt.

Rajah: Enough of this crap. Who's the next interview?

Platt: Some new guy. He said we don't need to know his name...

David: Why wouldn't we need to know his name?

At this point, the door opens, and a collosal man enters. He sits down on the chair, but his weight snaps the chair like a twig, so he just stands.

Rajah: So...who are you?

Big Dude: It doesn't matter. All you need to know is that I am a former amateur wrestler, boxer, strongman, and all around bad ass.

Platt: Have you any experience in the wrasslin' ring?

Big Dude: I never really got around to wrasslin'. I'm usually too busy to consider it becuase I work part time as an assassin. Some people have called me the perfect killing machine. I wont lt you down.

Rajah: I've heard enough. Congrats! you got the job!

Platt: Welcome to the team!

David: I hope you wont let us down!

Big Dude: Don't worry mate. I'll look after yous. With me around, you'll never walk alone.

David: What did you say?

Big Dude: I said you'll never walk alone.

David: What football team do you support?

Big Dude: The pool, mate.

David: Veto'd. VETO'D!!! GET THE HELL OUT!

Rajah: I swear to god if we lose because you support a shit team I will fire you.

David: Totally worth it...

Ad...​

As we come back from the ad, we see DPETE outside the arena talking to 18 different reporters at once. This guy really likes to say things. Turns out DPETE was one of the ten wrestlers suspended for drug abuse. Although having no proof, there is no way in hell someone can make that many statements in a month without being on something.

The camera cuts back to the ring, where it is time for the Special Administrator over the top Battle Royal. In the ring are Nitemare, BabyBoy, Amish, Kaneanite, BreakdownV1, Flash, David and Rajah. They all entered the ring during the ad because it's fucking late and someone of us are too tired to commentate individual entrances :side:


As this match kicks off, it is abundantly clear than any allegiences have been put on hold. It seems that the title of top administrator is worth more than friendships.

Nitemare immediatedly goes for Amish. It seems he's been waiting for this oppertunity. Nitemare lifts Amish up and attempts to dump him over the top rope. Amish is grabbing on for dear life, and is apparently trying to offer Nitemare money in exchange for mercy. Nitemare lets Amish get back in, but instead of producing money from his pocket, Amish produces mase!

Silly Nitemare. If he didn't pay him before, he sure as hell aint going to now. With Nitemare blinded, he is easy picking for Amish who dumps him over the top rope. Meanwhile, Flash and Breakdown are attempting to doubleteam Kaneanite over the top. Breakdown fails to notice the charging David from behind, but Flash just manages to get out of the way as David shows immeasurable strength by shifting both Kaneanite and Breakdown over the top.

Rajah turns his attention to BabyBoy, and the two exchange powerful slugs. However, Rajah's attention is distracted by Fail, who has run to ringside! Rajah doesn't appear to want Fail's help, but Fail seems pretty insistant. Fail climbs to the apron, but Rajah drop kicks him straight back down. Babyboy runs at Rajah, but Rajah just manages to shift his weight and helps Babyboy along. Babyboy's own momentum pushes him over the top, and he is out.

WAIT! Babyboy landed flush on Fail's face! His feet haven't touched the floor, and he manages to crawl back into the ring!

Fail really does fuck up a lot.

Amish goes to the top rope to attempt to capitalise on David's back being turned, but Flash runs at the ropes and the vibrations knock Amish off balance, and he falls to the ouside with a sickening thud.

Flash goes after Rajah who's still distracted by Fail's fuck up. He tries to toss Rajah over the top but David hits a nice clothesline from behind. David picks up Babyboy and drops him on the 3rd rope. Rajah kicks the rope, causing Babyboy to scream in pain. His special area may need some special attention. Rajah kicks Babyboy in the face and he falls to the outside. The definition of teamwork.

Both David and Rajah look at Flash who is slowly getting up. David charges at Flash while Fail pulls down the top rope to climb on the apron and hit Flash. Flash ducks, and David falls over the top rope causing him to be eliminated!

Rajah looks in disbelief as Fail managed to fuck up again. He turns around into a stift right hand from Flash. Both men exchange pushes with no one gaining the advantage. For minutes, they have an all out brawl much to the crowd's delight. Fail yells at Flash causing Flash to be temporarily distracted.

Out of no where, a random man with a black and grey suit runs to the ring and throws powder in Flash's eyes! Rajah clothesline Flash over the top rope for the win.

No one knows who this mystery man is until...........

2Slick: That damn Administrator!

Rajah: Revenge motherfucker.

Administrator: Allow me to introduce & explain myself. I am the behind the scenes guy who makes sure our production is excellent so that we aren't forced to have technical delays and commericals. My duties kept me from participating in this event until now.

Fail: Are you the same person that increased the price of admission at the last minute at Fusion when I only had the money to pay for the old price?

Administrator: Maybe

Fail::mad: HEY RAJAH. I helped you win. I rightfully deserve the 4th spot on the team.

Rajah: Screw you. You should be happy I won't ban you.

Fail: But I helped you win! I distracted Flash.

Rajah: No, Flash was staring at the hot chick behind you in the first row. I believe I'll need to schedule a meeting with her in my office.:yum:

.......
..........
............

Oh yea, you're looking at my 4th guy right here.

Fail: NOT AGAIN!!!!!

Fade to close...
 
#88 ·
Re: MrMonty and Headliner presents WWF

Yea, I stopped being a little bitch and jumped in the thread title:side:
Rebel By Design said:
:lmao

Hilarious, Monty. I can't remember the last time I actually laughed out loud about something posted in this forum. Keep it up.

Obviously, like everyone else's I'd love a little cameo in the thread, but you've got too many people and tons of material to work with. If you find a little space for me, awesome, if not, Holt, I'll be first in line at the Talent Shoew.
I had you down to be in the womens division. But of course you can be with Holt.:)
Evo said:
I think Cali or Hyptnq or however you spell it would be more suited to an Austin-type character, you know, constantly feuding with the McMahons (admins) and getting fired (banned) then coming back, I think it would be really funny. Someone has probably already suggested it, but I couldn't be bothered going back through all the pages to find out.
I did.

Its a couple of things that will be changed up. More members joining in, tag division. (hopefully)
 
#151 ·
I love you Dave. I love you KJ :)

This was a great show that must have taken an absolute eternity to put together considering how many people you managed to include. I love the choice of people to match the gimmicks, they are pretty much all spot on. And who'd have thought Carl would win a title :D

I love the way it is actually pretty much a semi-realistic kind of wrestling show but just with total comedy.

I felt a bit sorry for Jeff but I guess nobody can turn down Terrell's masculine charms. Tom's part was absolutely great and I laughed my ass off at David and Platt being the RTC! The small FaiL bit was brilliantly written too.

Just absolutely fantastic.
 
#207 ·
Thanks for all the great feedback! Remember, we are still in the process of putting in new people. Some will debut on the next show, some might debut right after the PPV. (which would be after the next two shows)

I'm really looking forward to the stable wars, tag division thing we got going on.
Rebel By Design said:
There will be no feud. We're probably going to get annihilated in the cross-gender crossfire of the Bryashley/Chynalanotto feud. At least, I assume that's what it's going to come to. :)

Where is Meltzliner? I need some gossip that won't pan out, dammit!
Meh, I doubt you guys will get destroyed in this "manly" feud. Although things can be subject to change.:side:
Alabaster Holt said:
Yea I know, I already talked to K and Terrell about that :side: thought something was going to develop this show, guess I was wrong
It did develop. Just look at how "Down with the Brown" (Marcus, Trey B, NastyNas) ganged up on you. Of course this won't turn into a handicap match.;)

On a side note, I still can't stop laughing at that Vanilla Ice gif.:lmao
 
#209 ·
Out of character Meltzy speaks the truth :D

The tag division and stable's will incorporate a lot of new teams and people, but although this is all about making it entertaining, it has to have some kind of logic behind it, which is why it takes a little time to develop the people. There are also conflicts of character, eg Tom was originally going to be Big drunk Scott Hall.

Some of you are bang on with the obvious spoilers...but never rule out the possibility of an admin swerve, or for that matter, a drunk lazy Hayes :side:
 
#244 ·
The final participant in this womens tag team match is the sometimes psychotic, Aussie James. Aussie seems delighted to be here, and makes sure to high five every single fan on her way to the ring. She's had a long day in the office, so this is just the kind of release she needs.
Thank you for putting me in this guys! :D :D :D I love the "sometimes psychotic" description. :p

Lady B said:
The Best bit was myself, Aussie's, Minterz and RBD's debut.
Agreed. You can't have WWF without WF's finest ladies in this! ;)
 
#313 ·
This show came together good. Sorry about Bethany, Ali and some of the other women wrestlers not being in.:$ We'll be sure to have you in next week. Especially since its the last show before the PPV. And I'm sure everything will "come together" for that show.
CarlitosCabanaGirl: Well, well, maybe I can just stick around and watch for a while?

Phenomenal1: Listen bitch, GFY. Get out of my sight.

CarlitosCabanaGirl's head drops in disappointment, and she slowly starts to walk towards the exit.

KingKurt_UK: Hey, you aint going nowhere! Now listen to me you big meanie P1, no-one talks to my girl like that! I'm going to give you one chance, just one chance, to apologise. I strongly suggest you use it, if you know whats good for you!

P1: GFY as well.

At this point, KingKurt explodes with anger. His face flushes (to match his hair), his fists clench, his whole body shaking with anger.

KingKurt_UK: That's it! You've done it now! That's just too far! You sir, are going to get a sternly worded letter from me!

KingKurt proceeds to sit down and start writing out a 2000 word letter to P1 explaining why he's a big meanie.
ROFL:lmao
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
You have insufficient privileges to reply here.
Top