Something a little different here. WWE, WF style. This is in the anything section because it's not a real BTB. The inspiration for the idea comes from Headliner. All production issues are my fault. The booking comes second to the name dropping and parallels. Roster is subject to additions and gimmick changes. If you are easily offended, look away. Anything said is meant in jest and should be taken as such. This is meant as purely light hearted, so no need to take offence. Some characters are original wrestlers which fit the mold of a particular poster, others are original creations. Feel free to check back to the roster to understand some of the gimmicks.
Meltziner report 4th April
WWF 6th April
Meltziner report 11th April
WWF 13th April
Meltziner report 18th April
WWF 20th April
Meltziner report 25th April
Meltziner report 2nd May
WWF 15th May
Meltziner report 25th May
WWF 3rd June
Meltziner report 8th June
WWF 11th June
Meltziner report June 14th
Meltziner report 20th July
WWF 8th August
Meltziner report 16th August
WWF 4th October
Meltziner report 8th October
WWF 17th October
Meltziner report 24th October
Friday 30th March
Wrasslin' Wrestling' Forums Arena
As the pryo goes off, the crowd starts cheering loudly for the inaugural show of Wrestlin' Wrasslin' Forums. The build up to this occasion had almost been too much to bear for the tens in attendance, and the hundreds lurking from home.
Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the premier of Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forum! For some of us, the wait of the past 4 hours has been excruciating! I know it has been for me, at my age 4 hours is an eternity! The excitement in the air is tangible folks, and we cant wait to see what what's in store for us tonight!
Funny you should mention that good old Slicky, in store tonight we have this snazzy WF golf shirt! Pick yours up now!
Shut your piehole, King, someone's coming to the ring!
The words "Here Comes The Money" are heard blaring throughout the forum arena, followed closely by the ominuous beats of "No Chance in Hell". Rajah and Flash walk out onto the stage. They are greeted with a mixed reception from the fans as they saunter down towards the ring.
The crowd here obviously has a lot of respect for these two men King, but that doesn't mean they have to like them.
That, or they're afraid to boo them.
There is an awkward silence as both Slick and King look at each other, a sense of fear in their respective eyes.
Lot of respect, lot of respect.
The crowd immediately goes silent as Flash takes a mic in his hand, everyone afraid to shout out of turn in case they get banned from the arena.
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to hand the reigns over to the new man in charge, Rajah!!!
As Rajah takes the mic, Flash steps outside the ring where he can still be seen, just not as prominently.
Thank you Flash. I'll cut straight to the point, I know what is best for Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forum, and what I say goes. If you don't like that, I don't really give a damn!
An angry fan from the crowd stands up and starts to voice his objection...
No way man, you have too much power!
Banned. Now, moving along, tonight we will be determining the forerunners for the WWF's three main title belts; The Hardcore Championship, The United States Championship, and the World Heavyweight Championship.
The crowd cheers emphatically, drowning out the noise of a certain Steven Seagal fan knocking on the entrance door, insisting his WWF ticket hasn't been revoked.
So without further ado, lets get this night going!
Rajah exits the ring, and walks back up the aisle with Flash, who was there all along, even if the crowd didn't notice him.
Three title's up for grabs King, and the road to enlightenment starts right here, after this break!
Yeah, I guess.
You sure don't seem as excited as you should be King?
Well, he didn't mention any puppies. I love puppies.
There are other things beside half naked women about Wrasslin' Wrestlin' Forums King, and one day you'll find that out! Stay tuned folks, we're back after this short break!
The camera cuts to a number of angry front row fans complaining to Admin.
Hey, we payed $10 for "bad ass seats", why are we stick in the back?
It's another admin swerve!!!
As we come back, the camera cuts to one of, if not the most knowledgable man in sports entertainment; Super Delfin.
In regards to a recent debate I've been involved in here at WWF, I would like to respond. You know who you are. Okay, by that logic we should not allow any TNA PPV main events from the past 6 months and no full TNA PPVs. However, Impact, PPV undercard, and old main event matches would be allowed. I guess Joe vs. Angle number one should be allowed to be posted in about 2 more months, sounds great right?
Since the only way to see a TNA PPV is to either order it or later buy the DVD, we are taking their money by allowing them to be posted. We should also not allow any other TNA DVDs such as 'best of' ones or The 50 Greatest Moments, etc., because the only way to see those is to (as you said with indy feds) is to order the DVD.
So go ahead and delete all that and get back to me on why Independent shows and main events aren't allowed. Thanks.
The camera pans back to the crowd, who are speechless. Upper management can be seen shifting uneasily in their seats, clearly uncomfortable with the pure logic that Super Delfin has pointed out.
Emm, well, seeing as no-one seems to have any sort of response to Super Delfin, lets pretend it never happened and move on with the show!
"Ain't no stoppin me now!" starts to play as Diesel starts jogging down towards the ring, giving the fans high fives along the way.
And here comes possibly the most all rounded athlete in all of the WWF, Diesel! Although, he doesn't exactly look fully awake...
Diesel staggers into the ring, dark rings under his eyes, a glazed look on his face.
"I am Arjun, you're teacher" announces the arrival of WWF's erudite wrestler. The crowd groans, knowing that they will leave this encounter feel ever so slightly more stupid than they began.
The match starts off with some back and forth action, with neither wrassler giving an inch. For every massively pixelated move that Diesel comes up with, Arjun counters with a move so complicated that no one can even pronounce. After the ten minute mark, a chance collision leaves the referee out cold, and Arjun lying in agony. Diesel reaches into his tights, obviously to remove a foreign object to finish the job. The crowd boos intensly as Diesel removes...as PSP!? Diesel sits in the corner and makes use of the free wireless internet provided by WWF, accessing the online community. Arjun regains his composure, and upon seeing Diesel enthralled on the official Smackdown V Raw 2008 website, gently leans Diesel back and pins him for the three count.
That crafty Arjun just stole one! As God is my witness he stole one!
As Arjun exits the ring, the camera cuts to the backstage area, where Phenomenal1 is standing with KingKurt_UK, newly appointed member of the board of directors of WWF. Upon seeing KingKurt__UK, the crowd goes wild
So, KingKurt_UK, you've finally been promoted to the board of directors. how does that make you feel?
Well, (insert 2000 word speech here where KingKurt gives credit to everyone but himself.
And how do you feel about tonights show?
Good question. (insert 2000 word speech where KinKurt praises everyone involved with tonight's set up, except for himself)
That's all well and good, but dont you have red hair?
Before KingKurt_UK has the chance to reply with a 2000 word speech praising everyone who has red hair, everyone who hates red hair, and everyone who has no hair (bar himself, of course) Rajah jumps infront of the camera, a gleeful look in his eye as he towers above Phenomenal1.
Welcome back folks to Friday night wrasslin'!
Oh my god, puppies!!!???
Some very poor punk chick music starts to play as Brye comes out in a mini skirt, tank top and trucker cap. She gets into the ring, standing at each turnbuckle in turn acknowledging the crowd.
Well King, you got your wish, there's your big bouncy puppies!
Well, yeah, I suppose...they do look like puppies all right...
What? King, you've been going on the whole night about wanting to see your puppies, why aren't you happy?
I guess they are puppies all right...and yet I'm not horny in the least. Something is very, very wrong here...
Brye finally stops showing off to the crowd and takes a mic.
Today, I made a big decision, and I couldn't be happier. From now on, Brye is a single girl! So if any real men out there wanna show a girl a good time, let me hear you!!!
Half the crowd goes wild, while half off them seem perplexed. Suddenly, the camera cuts to the stage, where CM Weedman is walking out with a micraphone in hand, a sad look on his face. The crowd goes quiet.
I used to do weed. And I used to have a gf. But my girlfriend just dumped me. And I cant afford weed. I love weed. And I love my girlfriend. But now I have neither. Straight Edge by cimcumstance. Without my girlfriend and my weed, I have nothing interesting to say.
CM Weedman drops the micraphone and slumps into the back. With nothing else to say, nobody expects to see him ever again. Brye gives a final flash of her ass before stomping up the ramp with a speed unbecoming of a lady.
As the camera comes back, we see Khali standing back stage.
gplpylpylyp mhmmhmhmha HHOAOAOhahshshiktkamreph.
Well, that was some more non-sensical garbage from Khali.
No change there.
At this point, I AM SlaM appears on the titantron direct from his kitchen where he is eating some pop tarts.
I AM SlaM:
"P.I.M.P" starts playing over the speaker, as Holt makes his way down to the ring. It might not be his regular music, but Holt saw a compilation video on youtube that featured the song, so no he uses it. Deal with it.
A loud "Wooo" gets the crowd on their feet. Derek 2k4 starts to descend the ramp towards the ring, fully kitted out in his new robe. The bat robe.
The match kicks off with the men circling each other. Holt offers a test of strength. Derek goes to accept, but Holt drops the hand and offers his other hand. Derek grins mischeviously, and offers his other hand as well. This pattern continues at an increasing rate until Holt breaks out into a Michael Jackson "Beat It" style dance. Derek, stands back, still grinning. Holt finishes his moves to the corwds delight, only for Derek to shout out "Hit it". The familiar beat of "What is Love" by Haddoway is pumped through the speakers, as Derek starts to nod his head. Holt looks on in shock, as Derek starts to move in rhythm with the beat, nodding his head like only Derek can do. The crowd goes wild as Derek throws an imaginary jacket on the ground, bounces off the ropes (all the time nodding his head in sync) and drops the elbow. Out of nowhere, Derek goes for the low blow. Holt smirks as Derek feels the power of the black man's crotch, recoiling his arm in agony. Holt goes for the small package and pins Derek for the 3 count.
As the victorious Holt walks backstage, KIF approaches the ring through the crowd. He grabs a mic, and rolls into the ring.
This can't be good...
Rajah, I'm here to call you out. You stole $1000 dollars on me that I earned. I demand you refund me.
Answer me damn it!!!
Rajah appears on the titantron, laughing heartily
Why are you laughing, you bastard!?
HAHAHAHA, look behind you fool.
Out of nowhere, Jax_the_ax rushes the ring and clobbers KIF on the noggin with his self proclaimed hardcore championship.
Crowd in unison:
It's another Admin swerve!
We come back from the final commercial to find Role Model standing in the ring. His entrance took 6 minutes, so it made sense to have it during the commercial. Role Model is standing in the ring, as there is silence throughout the arena for a few seconds, until a great white Texan limo starts to drive down the ramp to Pyro's music. Pyro steps out of the horned automobile, and two steps his way to the ring.
The match starts off highly competitevly. Each opponent no sells the others offence, regardless of how factual it may be. This is match of personal bias, and facts aren't going to get in the way. Pryo is gaining the upper hand until Tempest runs down to the ring to cheer her man on. Role Model begins to mount a comeback, until out of nowhere, DDMac jumps through the ground and gives Tempest a playful nipple crippler. Incensed, Role Model immediately charges after DDMac, giving chase all the way to the back. Pyro does nothing, but stand and wait for the ref to reach the ten count.
Out of nowhere, WCW4Estrada and his monster CalUmaga start charging the ring. The crowd begin to chant, "Ratings, rating, ratings." Just as they approach the ring, CaL gets banned and WCW is sad. As the referee calls for the bell, announcing Pyro the winner, Legend can be seen ringside crying tears of joy. This is his day too.
Pyro grabs a micraphone, much to the annoyance of the crowd.
Ha, what you have just witnessed is good versus evil. God versus the Devil, America versus the world! And America has won. I have won. Say what you will, think what you will, but the facts do not change. I am your victor. I am your champion. I am, your wrestling gawd!
The crowd boos loudly as Pyro does another little two step before exiting the ring.
Bah Gawd King, what did we just see? I'll tell you what we saw, we just saw the birth of a new wrasslin' order! We just saw the birth of the newest product to hit the market! We just saw the rebirth of the anything section!!!
Was Brye really a chick?
Fade to close
Any feedback is gladly recieved. Again, this is meant in good fun. If you are offended, you shouldn't be. If successful, there are many plans for the continuation of the series. If not, meh, tried something.