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Anyone I can talk to who won't make me worse?

2K views 44 replies 33 participants last post by  theidealstranger 
#1 ·
It's probably pretty common knowledge that I'm in a really bad place. When I make friends with people on here and think I've got someone I can depend on just to talk and exchange messages, I wind up like I have just now.

Why can people not just tell you if they don't want to talk to you, why lead you along and put you on ignore without you knowing, leaving you confused as to whether they're actually ignoring you or if you're just being impatient and paranoid?

If anybody here cares about me or my health then please know that this is the last thing that's helping me. Just got through most of the day feeling good again and now I can't hold back tears.

Please do not just ignore people who are deeply depressed, it's the worst thing you could do - especially if you're being snappy with them for not knowing that you had them on ignore.
 
#3 ·
I think you should seek professional help for that, Ric. People on this forum aren't trained to handle it. Sure we can give some good advice and people can be assholes about it. It seems like the good advice is always lost amongst the other stuff though. My suggestion, is get professional help and if you do talk to someone on here do it via PM where it doesn't get blown out of proportion and turned into another argument.
 
#5 ·
I’m not one of your online friends but please take my advice: Stop posting for today/tonight. Talk a walk, call a friend, watch a favourite movie, have a night out somewhere fun…do something in the real world that lifts your spirits.

The people here are not mean spirited but we aren't therapists either. We don't know the best way to help you or even how best to offer friendly support. The people who really know you are the ones you'd be best served by right now.
 
#8 ·
Thanks man, I appreciate it. It's 2:20am here so I'm pretty much stuck indoors plus being frank I literally haven't been able to stop crying so I can't even go for a walk.

Thanks for responding, I just really really really don't respond well when I'm pariahd and I wanted people to know that if they don't want to hurt me then please don't do that. I'm not an unreasonable person and if you just say to me "hey I don't think it's best that we exchange PMs right now" I'm not going to PM you.
 
#7 ·
I know you're not therapists, I'm just asking for someone to talk to without them ignoring me. I'm just looking to speak to someone as a friend which is why it hurts like hell when I get put on ignore. I just don't get how people tell me they want me to get better then do that which obviously really makes me worse.


I am receiving help but I'm not currently in a session.

I won't post any more for today unless someone will PM me - like I say I just want a friend, you don't have to run the other way. Not talking to people doesn't really help me either.
 
#20 ·
Look im not ignoring you, im honestly busy and cant deal with the negativity, I still see you as a friend, I just dont know what to say to you, I have problems too... We all do, but how you are behaving at the moment isnt going to help you in anyway, please get some help, I am your friend and still will be, ill message you but I am working and busy, im sorry about that.

Im really here to just read about wrestling and to have a little giggle, life is hard enough as it is.
 
#9 ·
I advise you follow LC's prescription, @RiC David. I'd be happy to try to help you but I'm not sure I can help.

If you have a friend here who you believe you can write to through a PM, and bare your soul, as it were, to get it all out, I could positively understand that. LC knows that I can understand that.

Writing it all out can be therapeutic. I don't know if you are "wired that way," so to speak, but you may want to try. If you really need someone to just read all of it and try to offer some thoughts I'd be willing to do so. I doubt I can help, exactly, but perhaps, indirectly, by receiving that from you, and letting you let it all out, that process could aid you as you are most troubled.

A few weeks back I critiqued a position you held against Headliner in a thread, without, of course, providing any personal attack toward you. This entire matter between you and Headliner seems to have stemmed from your taking umbrage at what was a casual note of dismissiveness in Rants. Setting that aside, I appreciated your response--not the green rep you sent me for the post, but rather the message that came with it, which was calmly offering your own perspective. I appreciate that trenchant ability to summarize your own rationale on something which otherwise could be--and, certainly, seems to have in other venues here--become utterly enveloped by immoderate emotionalism.

Here's a joke, which has the benefit of encapsulating the melancholic nature of loneliness: Three men, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants each man a wish. The first man wishes he would be taken off of the island sent back home. The genie complies. The second man wishes the same, and the genie complies. The third man frowns. "I'm lonely," he says. "I wish my friends were back here."

In lieu of friendship here, seek the companionship of your friends elsewhere, as just about everyone else here has said. I completely understand how in some ways this may not help, and you may find yourself so forlorn over that which plagues you that you wish to seek the solace of someone reading of your problems here. I can understand that instinct. I'm going to retire early this evening as I'm scheduled to participate in a U.S. Navy Seal-type all-day-long workout on Ocean Beach in San Francisco beginning at 6:00am west coast American time, but perhaps the act of writing that which you wish to write to me would help you in a cathartic manner, and, after my lengthy day of working out and writing I could endeavor to write you back tomorrow evening.

Take care.
 
#10 ·
Don't you have any pride?

Men 2k15.

TH
 
#13 · (Edited)
OP. As bad as things may seem they always get better. As long as you have a breath in your lungs and a tomorrow on the calendar you've won, you're still alive man; those problems that seemed like the end of your world didn't kill you today and probably won't tomorrow, so you've won; and so when you're ready to, just brush that dirt off your shoulder and try again.

A good analogy for life is to think of it as a roller-coaster full of ups and downs, just continue to ride out this low point you're experiencing and before you know it things will be on the up again. That's life, and as hard as it may seem; something could happen at any moment to remind you just how incredible life can be; it's a beautiful thing. This song is literally what I'm trying to explain (except the last line), and might help you to gain a little perspective:

 
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#14 ·
I know you don't know me, but I've survived very dark times and have come through with my head held high so if you feel desperate shoot me a PM or something. And I don't mean you have to feel desperate to talk to me, you can do that regardless but if you kill yourself before speaking with me I'll kill you.
 
#15 ·
Here's my advice, and this isn't being mean this is me being serious:

1. Log out of this forum and don't come back for a long time, if at all.
2. Go outside and just do something. Go for a walk, sit in a park and take in your surroundings.
3. If you don't have one, get a job.
4. Try spending time with and socialising with other people. Whether it be a card night, go out and have some drinks with friends, whatever.
5. Don't spend all your time talking about and focusing on how apparently shitty your life is. It's only going to make things worse and it'll drive people away who want to help after a while.
6. Taking this time to reiterate number 1, this place is not for you and it's not a place to seek help, friendship or guidance. If you expect genuine friendship from this forum you're delusional.

Please, for your own sake (and this again is me being serious) log out of this forum and don't come back. Some people will sugar coat things in your life but that doesn't make anything better. You need someone to be truthful with you and this is me doing it. You are not capable of being a poster here because you are far too fragile. If this site is apparently contributing to what's making you so depressed it's LITERALLY the easiest aspect of your depression to resolve.

It's simple as that.
 
#19 · (Edited)
I'm probably going to give shitty advice, but I'll just tell you what I do when I'm feeling down.

Watch a TV series online, I recommend either Game Of Thrones or Breaking bad (5 seasons of episodes with 90 minutes, should keep you busy). If you've already watched both, play a video game. I recommend pirating a game called Vampire The Masquerade Bloodlines (it's the shit mate, best RPG you'll ever play). I remember after my ex dumped me I felt ridiculously sad but I then discovered the game Skyrim and after getting engaged in the game felt a lot better and cheered myself up. What I'm trying to say is that whenever I'm feeling down I try to find enjoyable things for me to do. Engage in something that'll get your mind to stop thinking of sorrow, something enjoyable that will get your mind off your current down thoughts.

Also you shouldn't expect much from the people on this forum, we're all nothing but strangers here.
 
#21 ·
Chin up mate, stay strong
 
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#22 ·
What everyone else said, plus if you don't have one already, then getting a pet can be really good for lonely or depressed people. Hope you make it through (Y)

And you need to stop expecting a lot from other WF members, we're all strangers here. Expecting less leads to less disappointment.
 
#25 ·
Cool, can I have some money then please? I'm a generally happy guy and I have lots already but you did say anything.


:hmm::heyman:draper2
 
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#24 ·
I suggest you take a break from WF, Ric. Maybe even stay away permanently if this place is causing you such stress. Most people here are good guys, but there are a few toxic trolls that lurk in the shadows who look for any chance they have to try and annoy/upset other users. If you are really going through such bad times then that is not going to help you.


I hope you get the help you need, take care (Y)
 
#29 ·
Thank you to everyone who responded...except I suppose if anybody responded with anything spiteful because as of today (the day after I made the topic) I haven't read the new replies.

I will read them because I owe you that but today right now I'm feeling okay and I'm going to be having some friends over at my place so I want to tread carefully and not risk things going south.

I hope I'm not repeating myself here but to anyone imploring me to get professional help, I am - I've been waiting for weeks for it to get started but my first group cognitive behavioural therapy class is Wednesday and I've been on antidepressants for five years.

I also hope that you'll understand that while in such mental states, I am not prone to making healthy decisions - that's the nature of the beast. I'm trying my best to limit things that might make it worse but please realise that I can see clearly once the storm passes but not in its midst, I imagine that's the sort of thing I'll be practising with the CBT lessons.

Thanks for being supportive and for listening. As mentioned, I do have good friends in the outside world but funnily enough I prefer speaking to people I don't go so far back with and none of my friends can relate to or really understand depression.

As I see it, this is a community whether we like it or whether we like each other or not. I can certainly be a pretentious bastard, just ask FriedTofu, but I'd never mean to be cold or malicious cause it may not be the Freemasons but one and all we belong so we might as well have each other's backs.

Much love
 
#34 ·
Here is a little advice for RiC David.

You shouldn't have to leave this forum if you like being here overall, but if some people stress you out, just put them on ignore. That will solve a lot of issues.
If you need someone to talk to, see a therapist, if you are that is great. You can talk to people here too but keep it to PMs, so trolls won't cause you more stress.

Also,, there are message boards for talking about what you are going through, you should go to those as well, since you will have things in common with a lot more people. That can be helpful as well.

Finally, if you really are having thoughts of suicide you should have a suicide hotline number hand to call , if there are no family or friends around to talk to when you are having those thoughts.
 
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