I really need some advice guys. The other day I walked into the police station to report that some chick had stolen my I.D. Whilst the policeman was fetching the appropriate paperwork, I was looking at the missing persons poster. When he returned he asked me if I was looking for someone. I was a little shocked by the question and just bluntly said "no." He gave me a judgmental look and then asked me to fill in the paperwork, as I was filling it in he just stared at me constantly; "What's this guys problem?" I thought. I started to feel my face get hot, I'm not going to lie, I was a little intimidated and I began to get flustered. I finished the paperwork and he looked me in the eyes and asked "something wrong?"
"No" I responded.
I then went on to ask what the next step is, he simply said "we'll be in touch." I nodded my head and started to leave, I could feel his eyes burning a hole right through me.
When I got home I retrieved the local newspaper from my mailbox, the front page had a story about a missing girl. This girl was not on the missing persons poster at the cop house, I simply thought "damn dat gurl fine" and then I walked inside.
The next morning as I was eating my usual breakfast of oats with peanut butter, there was a sudden and fierce knock at the door. "Who's this f*cking joker?" I thought to myself. I opened the door to see two police officers, one of them was a young female and the other was the man I spoke to the day before. The man asked if they could come inside, I said "You got a warrant bitch?" LOL jkjk. I said "ah k, is this about my stolen I.D?"
"No" said the woman, "this is about Veronica Jones."
"Who's Veronica Cones?" I asked.
"We think you know" the man said.
"Um well I don't, so could you please fill me in?"
ones is a missing 25 year old woman, we have reason to believe you know something about this."
"W-what reason? I don't know anything about this."
The man told me to "CUT THE CRAP! I SAW THE WAY YOU WERE LOOKING AT THAT POSTER, YOU OBVIOUSLY WERE EXPECTING HER TO BE ON THERE!"
"P-p-p-please, officer, I don't know anything about this."
"It's going to take a lot more than good looks and smooth talk to get you out of this." The female proclaimed.
"I was looking at a missing persons poster, so what? That's why it's up there, people are meant to look at it and give you guys leads."
"Don't tell us how to do our jobs boy!" the man said.
"I'm sorry, but what actual evidence do you guys have against me?"
"None, but that's what we're here to get." said the chick.
Anyway, I let them in since I have nothing to hide. They searched through all my stuff for about an hour and didn't find anything. "Satisfied?" I asked. The woman shook her head and said "nah, "I don't trust you."
"Why on earth don't you trust me?"
"It's the air around you, your very mysterious. Yeah, I bet you're one of those kidnappers that the victims fall in love with."
"How the hell can you make that kind of assumption?"
"Well you're very charismatic and charming, like a modern day Charles Manson. I bet you can get people to do whatever you want just by looking them in the eye."
She then looked me up and down and told me that she'd be in touch; Then they both left. A few hours later I got a threatening call from her, she said that if I didn't sleep with her 3 times a day everyday for the next year, she was going to falsify evidence against me and put me away for a long ass time.
What do I do guys, do I hire a lawyer? I'd report her sexy ass to the cops, but who knows how deep the corruption runs? I am extremely scared right now, why do I have to be so god damn irresistible?