Okay you brought it up so nobody get a dick at me right here. If you are offended by sexual experiences recollected then feel free to step.
Spoiler for a spoiler:
Mountain Dew's got fuckin' spermicide or something in it 'cause one time I was fuckin' my girlfriend but for the life of me I just couldn't climax and she got pissed (which makes her a bitch because as long as it's hard I don't see why the fuck she cares). Then a few weeks later it happened AGAIN and I realized both times it was right after I had just drank Mountain Dew. To test this, I had a bottle of MD right before the next time we fucked and sure enough ALL WAS DRY ON SPACE MOUNTAIN. Despite the down right fucking IRREFUTABLE EVIDENCE (and despite the fucking fact there is literally no reason for her to care unless she wanted to get knocked up but I'd say the fucking condom would get in the god damn way anyway) she still got hellamadbro. But anyway, yeah, Mountain Dew kills unborn unborn babies.
I don't drink soda now though. Not 'cause of that, just don't care for the taste anymore.
Press Play to wake up.
And then join the 100 Years Alan Pardew Club!
Last edited by CamillePunk; 10-31-2011 at 03:47 PM.
Reason: Don't wanna ruin it for people who haven't seen the movie