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post #1 of 109 (permalink) Old 08-26-2011, 08:26 PM Thread Starter
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A Death in the WF Family

Quote:


Name: Shawn Keim

Alias: Prime Time Keim

December 14th, 1985 - August 26th, 2011


West Laurel,MD: Police discovered the body today of a young man by the name of Shawn Keim in his run-down suburban chateau lying face-down at his computer desk in a pool of vomit with an empty bottle of Xanax resting near his feet.

Toxicology reports have not been released at press time, but coroners are already ruling it suicide. It is believed he decided to take his own life after finally realizing no one was reading his posts on his internet wrestling message board.

Keim was last spotted by witnesses in the parking lot of a near-by Walmart posing by automobiles to feign the impression he actually owned one. One Walmart employee stated Keim was denied a purchase of 40-caliber ammunition because he appeared to be "unstable".

"He just stumbled into the store, hanging on to shelves for balance as he made his way to the ammunition department," the woman said. "He was crying and mumbling something about 'being banned from my own thread'".

Keim has a history of suicide attempts and even reportedly stood on a bridge for 20 minutes, contemplating jumping.

"He wussed the fuck out," said an ex-girlfriend of Keim's, "He used to stay on that fucking forum for hours and hours, just typing about nothing. I knew he was a fucking loser all along. I only hope his obituary's shorter than his fucking rants were."

The funeral is scheduled for September 1st. At press time, no one is confirmed to be attending.


Source: happynews.com
Good riddance.
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post #2 of 109 (permalink) Old 08-26-2011, 08:27 PM
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Re: A Death in the WF Family

Got a lot of piss for that grave.

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post #3 of 109 (permalink) Old 08-26-2011, 08:30 PM
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Re: A Death in the WF Family

i enjoyed this, we do need a PTK hate thread.
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post #4 of 109 (permalink) Old 08-26-2011, 08:33 PM
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Re: A Death in the WF Family

10/10 Would read again.
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post #5 of 109 (permalink) Old 08-26-2011, 08:41 PM
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Re: A Death in the WF Family

i thought it was valory on your account reporting your death

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post #6 of 109 (permalink) Old 08-26-2011, 09:22 PM
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Re: A Death in the WF Family

Don't you mean LORRAINE FOSTER?



MADERAS
AIRAI
MALAKAI
WHATEVER THE SHIT TEAM IN ALL-STARS WAS
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post #7 of 109 (permalink) Old 08-26-2011, 09:27 PM
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Re: A Death in the WF Family

A couple flaws in this story. He was trying to buy ammunition? Seriously doubt he has the balls to go out by shooting himself.

Secondly, ex-girlfriend? That implies he ever had a girlfriend in the first place.

/shovel


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post #8 of 109 (permalink) Old 08-26-2011, 09:30 PM
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Re: A Death in the WF Family

Quote:
Originally Posted by CM Dealer View Post
Don't you mean LORRAINE FOSTER?

she rejoined as valory once

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post #9 of 109 (permalink) Old 08-26-2011, 09:33 PM
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Re: A Death in the WF Family

Quote:
Originally Posted by CamillePunk View Post
A couple flaws in this story. He was trying to buy ammunition? Seriously doubt he has the balls to go out by shooting himself.

Secondly, ex-girlfriend? That implies he ever had a girlfriend in the first place.

/shovel
didn't you say you had a girlfriend a few weeks ago? hey if you can do it anyone can man.


anyway funny rant. i lol'd multiple times


#BELLA&HOOPLA
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post #10 of 109 (permalink) Old 08-26-2011, 10:12 PM
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Re: A Death in the WF Family

RIP

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