Learning to break kayfabe
Join Date: Feb 2011
Re: Extreme Revival
EPW on HBO
"Start a War" by Static X plays, along with the intro video. Tonight, we are live from Providence, Rhode Island. We cut straight to the ring. "Toxic" by Brittany Spears is playing as Colin Delaney comes out to a sympathetic cheer. He looks much more confident then how most fans would remember him, however.
Joey: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the last EPW on HBO before our first Pay Per View, Still Barely Legal. My name is Joey Styles, and we have a huge show for you tonight! Right now, though, you can see Colin Delaney making his way to the ring. Delaney, of course, is remembered by most fans as a punching bag... let's see how he fares tonight.
"Toxic" fades as "Radio" by Watt White plays. Zach Ryder makes his way to the ring to huge boo's, cockily swaggering toward the ring without a care in the world.
Joey: And there you see Zach Ryder making his way to the ring. He looks pretty relaxed, but if I were him, I'd be a bit more worried! Ryder has a big match on Sunday against Maven Huffman, and it's safe to say that Maven will be looking to get even after Zach put him out of action for a month.
MATCH 1: Colin Delaney VS Zach Ryder
The match starts off with the two tying up in the ring. Ryder twists Colin's arm, but Colin actually reverses it into an arm drag. The two get up, and Colin hits a snapmare on Ryder. The two get up and Colin rolls Zach up in a school boy. One count. To their feet, and Colin rolls Zach up in a sunset flip pin! One count. Again to their feet, and Colin hits a drop kick, he goes for a pin afterward, gets a one count. Again to their feet, Colin boots Ryder in the gut, front head lock, Ryder pushes him off, Ryder dropkicks Colin into the corner, Colin lands on his ass... OOH! Ryder runs up and boots Delaney in the face! Ryder basically squashes Delaney the rest of the match, finally hitting the Zach Attack to get the pin!
WINNER: Zach Ryder by Pinfall after 4:14
Ryder is shown celebrating, being showered with boo's, when the screen cuts to static. The HBO logo flashes, as it has in weeks before, with the letters "M J C D B M" under it. The logo flashes, and the word "Sunday" appears. A few more seconds of static plays before we cut to commercial.
When we return, "TNT" by ACDC is playing as Charlie Haas makes his way to the ring to a decent amount of fan fare.
Joey: Welcome back to EPW, folks. Right now, Charlie Haas is making his way to the ring. Haas, as I'm sure most of you know, is one half of a tag team with Shelton Benjamin, so it will be interesting seeing him in one on one action. That said, I won't take anything away from Charlie. He is truly one of the best technical wrestlers out there today.
"TNT" fades out, and "Cool" plays. Carlito Colon makes his way out to the ring, title on his shoulder and apple in hand, to the jeers of the audience.
Joey: Our International champion, Carlito, is making his way out to the ring now. Colon will be facing Yoshi Tatsu, of course, this Sunday for the International title, so Carlito can't be careful enough out there tonight.
MATCH 2: Charlie Haas VS Carlito Colon (Non Title)
The match starts off with a bit of back-and-fourth. Arm drags, snapmares, a bit of brawling, ext. The match start to goes one way when Haas whips Carlito into the ropes, but the IN champion reverses by springing off the ropes and smacking Haas in the face with an elbow. Carlito has a pretty firm hold on the match for a bit. A few minutes in, Carlito catches Charlie with a super kick to the chops, getting a two count out of it. Carlito gets up, grabs Haas' legs.... Carlito locks in the figure four leg lock! Charlie is absolutely writhing in pain, but shows no signs of tapping. Charlie starts to turn his body, Colon fights it... yes! Charlie flips the hold around, putting the pressure on Carlito's legs. Carlito struggles for a bit to try and flip Haas around, but eventually has to break the hold! The two stand up, and Haas nails "The Bad Apple" with an over head belly to belly suplex! Carlito sits up, and Charlie nails him with a very stiff kick to the middle of his back! Haas schools Carlito for awhile with various suplexes and amateur wrestling-style moves before finally locking in his submission hold, the Haas of Pain! Carlito screams in agony, but ends up scooting close enough to grab the rope, forcing Charlie to break the hold. The two get up, Haas goes off the ropes, runs toward Carlito, Carlito ducks behind him... OOH! Carlito nails Haas with the Back Stabber! 1... 2... 3! This one's done!
WINNER: Carlito Colon by Pinfall after 10:02
Carlito rolls out of the ring, grabs his title and makes his way toward the back, the crowd booing him. We go backstage, where Hemme is standing with John Morrison.
Christy: My guest at this time, John Morrison. John, last week Paul Heyman announced that you will be facing Homicide at Still Barely Legal. How do you feel going into this match on Sunday?
Jo Mo: Well, Christy, first of all, it's an honor and a pleasure to be competing in EPW's first ever pay per view. I've been here for awhile, now, and I think it's about time for me to start putting my focus toward the EPW title, and if Homicide is my first obstacle on that path... well, sucks to be him! I'd hate to cut this short, Christy, but I have a match up next!
Christy nods as Morrison walks off screen.
When we return, Shocker is already in the ring, a very slight boo buzzing in the arena. "Ain't no make believe" by Stonefree Experience plays as John Morrison makes his way to the ring to a good pop.
MATCH 3: Shocker VS John Morrison
The match starts off with a bang as Shocker hits a huricanrana, sending Jo Mo to the corner. Shocker springs up and hits a corner boot on John, John steps out of the corner, Shocker lifts him up, and he hits a Samoan Slam on him! Shocker goes for a pin, but only gets a two count. The two get up, Shocker goes to punch Morrison, but Morrison blocks it, responding with a few punches, then hitting a capoeira-style kick on Shocker. "The Shaman of Sexy" dominates the remainder of this match before wrapping it all up with some Star Ship Pain!
WINNER: John Morrison by Pinfall after 4:52
Morrison celebrates the simple victory, with the fans cheering "JO MO JO MO"
Joey: Well, folks, we all know that John Morrison is going to be facing Homicide at Still Barely Legal, but let's check out some of the other matches we have lined up for you at our first Pay-Per-View event!
Graphics show for each of the matches, along with Korn ft. Skrillex "Get Up" playing.
Joey: Well, folks, we already mentioned the International Title match earlier, where Carlito Colon will defend his title against Yoshi Tatsu! We also mentioned the grudge match, where Maven Huffman will be looking to get even with Zach Ryder for putting him out of commission for a month! We will see Woman's Champion Victoria Varon defend her title against Mickie James, who won a seven-woman battle royal to earn the right to face Varon. For the tag titles, we'll see our champions, Mexico's Most Wanted, go up against Paul London and Brian Kendrick! In a woman's match-up, we will see Gail Kim go one on one with Ayako Hamada. For the EPW Championship, we will witness our champion, "The American Dragon" Bryan Danielson, square off against Jeff Hardy! And, in arguably the most anticipated match in EPW history, we will see Rob Van Dam face Shane Douglas in a hardcore match! Speakings of, don't go anywhere, because up next, we will see our champion, Bryan Danielson, face off against Shane Douglas in our main event! Don't go anywhere!
When we return, “Perfect Strangers” by Deep Purple is blaring over the intercom. Shane Douglas makes his way to the ring to a thunderous round of boo's, “You Suck” chants, ext. Shane is taunting the audience as he makes his way toward the ring.
Joey: Folks, the Franchise cannot be pleased at all right now. He is less then a week away from his Hardcore match against Rob Van Dam at Still Barely Legal, and he has to go one on one with the EPW Champion, Bryan Danielson! There is no doubt that this match will take a lot out of “The Franchise”.
“Perfect Strangers” fades out and “The Final Countdown” by Europe begins to play. Fans go into a frenzy as “The American Dragon” comes out to the ring, and a “Shane's Gonna Get His Fucking Head Kicked In thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump” chant breaks out. Danielson takes the time to high five people in the crowd.
Joey: Of course, Shane isn't the only one who has to be worried about this match tonight! Bryan Danielson will be defending his EPW title against “The Antichrist of Professional Wrestling”, Jeff Hardy, this Sunday, and Hardy is not above focusing on any part of the body that Danielson may get dinged up tonight. This match is going to be huge, folks!
MAIN EVENT: Shane Douglas VS Bryan Danielson
The match begins with the two tying up, trying to out muscle, out wrestle and out brawl each other, but each time finding themselves in a stale mate. The first big move of the match is Danielson nailing a belly to belly suplex out of nowhere. The two get up and Danielson hits Douglas with a snap suplex. The two get up, Douglas swings at Danielson, but Bryan ducks it and hits a bridging German suplex, getting an early two count. Danielson has the advantage here, putting a lot of his focus on the left arm of “The Franchise”. Danielson eventually even hits a huge dragon suplex, almost getting the three count, but Shane kicks out at the last millisecond. Danielson gets up and stalks Shane for a moment, as Shane slowly gets up. Danielson sprints toward Douglas, goes for a clothesline, Douglas ducks it, Bryan hits the ropes, Shane grabs him... The Franchise hits an inverted atomic drop on Bryan. Shane follows this up with a snapmare, then kicks Danielson hard in the chest. The Franchise has an advantage for a while until he goes for the Franchiser. When Douglas grabs Danielson's head, Danielson punches Shane in the head a few times until he lets go, Danielson goes off the ropes... WOW! That was a HUGE flying forearm smash from the ropes! Danielson lifts Douglas up on his shoulders, and airplane spins him around for a few moments, before putting him down. Bryan grabs Douglas for a belly to belly, but Douglas stomps on Bryan's toe and hits a belly to belly suplex of his own. The two slowly get up.... SHANE DOUGLAS HITS THE PITTSBURGH PLUNGE OUT OF NOWHERE!!! He goes for the cover. 1.... Bryan looks hurt..... 2.... he's not getting up from that.... HE KICKS OUT!!! HE KICKS OUT!!! Shane Douglas looks absolutely STUNNED by this! Douglas gets up and begins to argue with the ref, as Bryan slowly makes his way up. Danielson sneaks up behind Shane, he kicks “The Franchise” in the back of the knee.... DANIELSON LOCKS IN THE LABELLE LOCK!!! THE LABELLE LOCK IS IN TIGHT!!! The two are smack dab in the middle of the ring, Shane Douglas has no chance in hell of making it to the ropes. It looks like Douglas is about to tap... BUT WHAT'S THIS?!? That's.... THAT'S JEFF HARDY!!! Hardy runs in from the audience with a steel chair in hand.... HARDY NAILS DOUGLAS WITH THE CHAIR!!! The ref is calling for the bell!
Winner: Bryan Danielson by DQ after 13:29
After the initial chair shot, Jeff Hardy lays the boots down on Danielson, and Shane joins in, hitting the Pittsburgh Plunge on Danielson for a second time. Shane places the chair on Danielson's chest, and Jeff makes his way up to the top rope. This isn't going to end well... but wait! “Walk” by Pantera begins to blare... YES! ROB VAN DAM AND JOHN MORRISON RUN DOWN TO THE RING!!! As the two slide in, Hardy and Douglas make their way out of the ring and practically sprint up the entrance ramp, narrowly avoiding RVD and Jo Mo. The final shot of the night is Jo Mo and RVD checking on Bryan!
Zach Ryder d. Colin Delaney
Carlito Colon d. Charlie Haas
John Morrison d. Shocker
Bryan Danielson d. Shane Douglas
ANNOUNCED FOR STILL BARELY LEGAL
Bryan Danielson ( C ) VS Jeff Hardy- EPW TITLE
Carlito Colon ( C ) VS Yoshi Tatsu- EPW INTERNATIONAL TITLE
Victoria Varon ( C ) VS Mickie James- EPW WOMANS TITLE
Mexico's Most Wanted ( C ) VS Paul London & Brian Kendrick- EPW TAG TEAM TITLES
Rob Van Dam VS Shane Douglas- HARDCORE MATCH
Maven Huffman VS Zach Ryder
Gail Kim VS Ayako Hamada
John Morrison VS Homicide
1: Predict the winners of each of the matches
2: Predict the match order
3: Predict which will be the longest match
4: Predict what will be the shortest match
5: Anything else?
Note: I'll admit, I got the idea for my Prediction Template from Wolf Beast, so I'll give credit where credit is due! I'll try to have SBL up some time next week, but no promises.