Finally Out of Cutey Sleep
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: The Fountain of Dreams
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Re: Presenting AOW: Art of War Wrestling - The Greatest Affair
The Hammerstein Ballroom – Manhattan, New York City, New York
“The Greatest Affair of the State”
*Special 90-Minute Pilot*
We open to a black screen, but we can hear the roar of a crowd in the background. We then hear what sounds like the dulled and muffled sound of an object rotating very fast. This slowly evolves into a quick electric guitar rift as the logo for AOW is finally shown to the world –
We hear a vast roar from the Hammerstein Ballroom, our focus still on the logo. The logo fades away after a second more, and we’re finally brought to the scene in the Hammerstein, filled to the brim with the new AOW faithful.
We get a good look at the stage, which is the host to a gigantic version of the logo, the yin-yang is filled by a jumbotron-ish big screen in a circular formation, a giant ‘A’ on its left and giant ‘W’ on its right. Sitting underneath both gigantic letters are gigantic pillars, modeled to look like they’re from Ancient Rome. Between the pillars is what looks to be a big, blood red curtain, perfectly suited for a warrior headed to war to burst through. The entrance stage and ramp appear to be plated with a coated black titanium, similar to the one used in the WWE.
A spotlight is in the ring, with ring announcer Tony Chimel in the middle of it.
Ladies and gentlemen…please welcome the Chairman of Art of War Wrestling – PAAAUUUUL HEEEYYYY-MAAAAANN!!!!
A grand pop from the Hammerstein is heard, as Paul E. Dangerously makes his way from behind the blood red curtain. As Heyman takes the first steps from behind the curtain, onto the stage, down the ramp, and into the ring, he acknowledges his vast pop here tonight.
Ladies and gentlemen, young and old, and all who have wrestling in their heart and soul – welcome to the debut of ART OF WAR WRESTLING!!!
~Big pop once again
For those of you who do not know me, my name is Paul Heyman – the owner and establisher of this fine company. This is the first national broadcast of our weekly show, Wednesday Night Oblivion. So each and every one of you in this arena tonight, YOU HAVE MADE HISTORY!
~Another big pop
I chose the name Oblivion because I thought it tied in perfectly to what our philosophy is here at AOW Wrestling. When something is cast into oblivion, it is to be forgotten and never heard from again. I want all of you here tonight – and I didn’t forget those of you tuning in at home – to forget all that you know about professional wrestling. The talent here on Oblivion will completely redefine all that you know about all that you know.
~Not as big a pop, but another decent one nonetheless followed by buzz
Only in AOW we’ve got names like Samoa Joe…
~A respectable pop, some not knowing who that may be
We’ve got names like Chris Jericho…
~A VERY welcome pop, as Jericho hasn’t been heard from in two whole years. Heyman smiles with this before continuing.
We’ve got guys like Rob – Van – Dam…
~Another huge pop from the Hammerstein crowd, a definite fan favorite. The arena soon bursts free with “ECW! ECW! ECW!” chants that last about a minute before Heyman continues.
And we’ve got guys like…no, we have THE – Shawn Michaels!
~A huge pop for the biggest name on the roster. Heyman once again smiles.
Here in AOW it’s not about all the lights and the cameras. It’s not all about the larger-than-life personas, and it’s not about all the theatrics professional wrestling has degenerated into. This is about fighting spirit. This is about the essence of war. This is about the art that is professional wrestling.
~Another pause, the crowd popping in agreement of this statement
I wanted to take this time to first thank all of the individuals who make this possible. Now I know – I’m a brilliant man. But money isn’t quite my smart suit and I can’t do all this alone. I would just like to thank my financial backers…oh and I guess FX too. You’ve made a very worthwhile investment.
~The Hammerstein crowd roars in approval at the shoot statement
And now to thank all of you people here – many of you faithful in my endeavors since my days in ECW –
~Heyman is interrupted by a MASSIVE pop
It’s because of folks like you – all of you – that this could all be even possible. So thank you for your…continued…
Heyman is interrupted by what sounds like a slow, sarcastic applause against a microphone. The crowd turns their attention towards the entrance stage, where we catch the first glimpse of Chris Jericho in a suit and tie. The crowd initially lets out a massive pop, with this being the first time anyone has seen Jericho in almost two years. The look on Jericho’s face, however, seems to be all business.
I’m not quite sure what all this buzz is about, Paul, but I’m pretty sure it’s all in the wrong direction.
~The crowd continues to buzz as he makes his way down the ramp, speaking as he goes
How many of you people came here tonight to come and see the return of Chris “The Sexy Beast”, “The Living Legend”, “The Atoyallah of Rock and Rolla” Jericho-ah?
~Another massive pop ensues, as this time, Jericho pauses on the ramp and takes in his ovation
You hear that, Paul? These people know who to praise. These people know exactly who they should be directing their desires towards. But unfortunately, Paul…you don’t seem to know the same.
Chris…how nice to see you.
But of course it is. Paul, you can thank your financial backers and investors, you can thank this gracious network, and you can thank all these suckers giving us their hard earned and slowly declining American dollars, but the one person you’d better be getting on your hands and knees thanking had better…be…ME.
~The crowd changes reaction sharply, but there’s still some noticeable buzz
In case you had forgotten, Paul, and just so enlighten those of you unaware, but I’m the man who had the idea to get this entire company off the ground. I’m the man who called you. I’m the man who gave birth to this very promotion. So Paul if it weren’t for me standing here…you wouldn’t be standing there.
~Jericho points this out, with the crowd slowly getting more hostile towards Jericho with every word
Now just so we’re clear, I’m not looking for any special treatment. No. I’m just looking to now get back what I put in, to get my cut and what’s owed to me. And what’s owed to me is the great Paul E. Dangerously giving me my due in front of all these easily manipulated Mutants, as I recall their name, that once worshipped the ground he walked on.
~With this, the crowd feels Jericho has much overstayed his welcome and delivers the first genuine batch of heat in AOW history
Chris, as much as I do appreciate your input and effort you’ve given into MY company, you are a member of MY roster. I’M the one who will get to sign your paycheck. I’M the one who decides what you deserve and I’M the one who decides if you’ll even get that.
~The crowd pops again as Heyman is instantly unphased, putting his foot down
So Chris Jericho, if you don’t mind me asking, what do you think – what does the “King of the World” think that he is owed…?
I think all of this hullabaloo about having a match to crown the first ever AOW World Champion should be ceased and the title be handed over to me.
~Another good bit of heat for this
So wait…after what I’ve just said, you want me to immediately take the fighting spirit out of Art of War Wrestling and just HAND you a world title…?
A title I’ve rightfully deserved tens of thousands of times over, Paul, and you know it.
~Heyman looks at Chris very crossly, before apparently giving a hand signal. Upon that, two men in production attire bring something down the ramp, something that has a large black cloak surrounding it so we can’t see what it is. It is put between Heyman and Jericho center ring. Heyman approaches it and gets a grip on the cloak.
So you just want me to take this and simply give you the most prestigious thing in the company…?
~With that, Heyman removes the cloak, revealing a podium of sorts. Atop the podium is a glass case, and inside the glass case is a series of gorgeous, solid gold plates bolted down to a shining strap of leather. This beauty is getting a close-up, which allows us to read the words “AOW Wrestling World’s Heavyweight Champion” across the huge, magnificent, and illustrious central plate. The title is sitting on a bed of red velvet within the glass case. The crowd is in momentary awe, as is Jericho, whose eyes are as wide as his mouth right now
As you can see Chris, this is what wars are fought for. And you’ll have to fight one if you want it. So I’m officially announcing what kind of match this baby will be given away…pardon…EARNED in the very first Oblivion main event.
~Jericho’s awe turns into a scowl, while the crowd lets loose some buzz as to what the match might be
I will introduce to the world an AOW Original match – the Lucky 13 Battle. Thirteen men will enter this ring and nine of them will be tossed over the top rope and out of the match. The final four will duke it out in a no holds barred, first fall to a finish, winner take all war.
~A respectable pop for the brutal rules of the match
So with that, Chris Jericho, the folks watching at home and the many who have sold out the Hammerstein tonight, once again – WELCOME TO ART OF WAR WRESTLING!!!
~Heyman roars this in the face of Jericho. The crowd lets out another roar of approval, as Jericho’s scowl seemingly only grows bigger. Before he turns to leave the ring, we can hear him say “This isn’t over, Paul.” Jericho leaves the ring, still scowling, but his head held high and prominent as we see Heyman smile as “The Fight Song” echoes over the sound system
Ladies and gents, I know Paul Heyman said it a few moments ago, but we welcome you all to Art of War Wrestling’s first ever edition of Wednesday Night Oblivion!! We’re here with you tonight for 90 minutes. I’m Joey Styles here at the announce table at ringside, and with me is my colleague and color commentator – you know him, you love him, many love to hate him, but he is John “Bradshaw” Layfield.
You best introduce me better than that, but as a pr’fessional I will move on and let it slide because I am far too excited about being here in Art of War!
Well my apologies partner, but we’ve already seen a monumental start to what should be a monumental show. If you missed it, just moments ago, Paul Heyman welcomed us all to the Hammerstein Ballroom before being interrupted by Chris J –
And Chris Jericho had every right to do so. As another ‘founding father’ of this company and the man who gives Paul Heyman the money to even sign on those paychecks, I don’t have a doubt in my mind I would’ve done the same thing Chris Jericho just did. A man deserves his cut for the work he does and -
But John, you have to consider that Chris Jericho is under the authorization of Paul Heyman, regardless of what he’s done to help build this company. And I would think, and many would agree with me, that if Jericho were handed that title, that would be a gross misuse of influence and power.
~On “that title”, Styles points and leads the cameraman to the spot right next to the announce table where the podium with the AOW World title has been set up for all to see for the whole night
I will misuse my hand upside your head if you ever interrupt me again, Joey!
Well, maybe you should say something worthwhile there, John.
Joey, I like you. You are favored in the eyes of John Bradshaw Layfield. I would think it’s in your best interest to not change that.
We will have a lot of time to spend together John, but as I was saying, Chris Jericho interrupted Paul Heyman before Heyman announced that the brand, spanking new and glistening AOW World Championship would be up for grabs in our first ever main event – a Lucky 13 Battle, what Heyman declared an ‘AOW Original’.
Righ’ off the bat, we’re showing you why AOW is the premier choice in pr’fessinal wrestling with a match that amazin’, even if I b’lieve Chris Jericho should be champion right now.
Well be that as it may, John, we here at AOW are excited to bring you the best action in professional wrestling and we’re gonna prove it to you right now with the very first match in Oblivion history.
“LONDON CALLING” is heard over the brand new AOW sound system, as the team of the Hooliganz, Paul London and Brian Kendrick, become the first competitors to come on the ramp. They give each other a quick high five and a special handshake before rushing down to the ring in their signature fashion.
“BETTER THAN GREAT”, an unfamiliar instrumental now, is heard as Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas make their way down the ramp as the World’s Greatest Tag Team. They’re garnered in matching white and gold short tights, as well as matching colored hoodie vests. They truly do look like the world’s greatest.
The World’s Greatest Tag Team (Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas)
The Hooliganz (Paul London & Brian Kendrick)
After both teams shake hands, Haas and London are the men who kick things off. The two circle each other before a lock-up is initiated, which Haas quickly wins by getting a headlock in on London. London is very quick to counter this, however, forcing Haas back with what looks to be a modified crucifix, but Haas kicks out of this quickly. As both men reach their feet, London takes the two he has and drives them into Haas’ chest, knocking him off his with a well-placed dropkick.
As Haas gets to his feet following that quick maneuver, he’s greeted with a series of arm drags from London, before London caps it off with his signature Dropsault. He tries another quick cover, but Haas gets on out at two. As both men scramble to their feet again, it’s Haas who surprises London with a dropkick of his own. Haas doesn’t let London stay on the ground for very long following the move, as he brings London to his feet and throws him in his corner, tagging in Benjamin for the first time into the match. The two jointly whip London into the ropes and on the rebound, Haas lets London fly with a free fall drop, but the cruiserweight comes crashing down on both of Benjamin’s knees, a two man double-knee gutbuster. Benjamin gets the WGTT their first cover of the night, but London won’t go down so easily.
Benjamin now in complete control of London doesn’t waste any time, taking more shots at potentially broken ribs of London, capping it off by whipping London ribs-first into a corner, leaving London hunched over in an awkward position in the corner. He’s quickly taken out of it by Benjamin, who pulls London out of the corner in that position and nails a flawless German suplex. Benjamin keeps the bridge, prompting a pin count. 1...2…NO!!! London throws his legs into the air and out of the move!
London still can’t get much momentum, as following this, the World’s Greatest rotate and single out London before London finally shows some life after dodging a Haas rebounding clothesline and turning it into a hurricanrana, which becomes a jumping calf kick, before becoming a well-aimed kick to Haas’ jaw!! London sells the hurt on his ribs, but the flurry of offense gives him the momentum to finally tag in Kendrick.
Kendrick ups the momentum with a rapid sequence of leaping calf kicks, but he’s stunted when Haas ducks, causing Kendrick to fly over his head on a third attempt. With that, Haas pulls Kendrick to his feet and hits a beautiful vertical suplex, followed quickly by a tag in to Benjamin. Benji tries to pounce on Kendrick, but Spanky surprises him with a backflip kick that grants Kendrick the chance to tag back in London. Benjamin flops into London and Kendrick’s corner, where Kendrick forces him to bend over. Unbeknownst to L&K, Haas has gotten back into the ring. As London jumps back into the fray, he leaps onto and off of Benjamin’s back with a double stomp, before bouncing off and nailing the rushing Charlie Haas with a hurricanrana.
The crowd is in awe at that move, but the ‘ganz aren’t quite done. With Benjamin still in the corner, London rushes at him with a full body splash, hurting his midsection even more. London then lifts Benjamin into a powerbomb position, to which Kendrick grabs his head, looking for Sliced Bread…Tower of London!!! Back to back tag team maneuvers for the Hooliganz! London covers Benjamin quickly now – 1…2…3…NO!!!! Charlie Haas has kicked back in at the very last second to knock London off with the double axe handle!
As London gets to his feet holding his ailing ribs, Haas is sizing him up for something. We then catch a shot of Benjamin knocking Kendrick off the apron. As London finally gets up, he turns towards the stalking Haas, London is grabbed around the waist by Benjamin. As he looks down to see this, he’s met with a superkick from Haas, dominoing into another flawless German suplex from Benjamin. Once again, Benjamin keeps the bridge. 1…2…3…!!!!
Winners: The World’s Greatest Tag Team at 8:24
~As Benjamin and Haas lift their arms in celebration, they’re quickly greeted by the Hooliganz, who extend their hands for an honorable handshake, despite their hard-fought loss. Benjamin and Haas look at each other and then look at their beaten up cruiserweight opponents….and then extend their hands and shake their opponent’s hands very respectfully. The crowd recognizes this and gives both teams a great ovation.
That’s the epitome of what Paul Heyman was talking about – fighting spirit and the art of wrestling. Both teams displayed that tonight in that very ring and that very sportsmanlike handshake is the cherry on top.
You and I fin’lly agree on somethin’, Joey, but don’t sugar coat stuff and put cherries on it. As much as I enjoy watchin’ London and Kendrick, the simple fact is that they lost and are not in the same league of the World’s Greatest Tag Team. And that was just respectfully proven.
How can you say that? They pushed Benjamin and Haas to the limit in the very first contest in AOW. Besides, that handshake is a huge sign of respect, not superiority, Bradshaw.
Do I have to spell it out for you, Joey? WORLD’S. GREATEST. TAG. TEAM. No one’s in their league on this planet.
Not even the APA?
We were the best in the universe, not just the world. These guys are the best in the world, but the APA was universal.
~Touche, Joey Styles
Well whatever you say partner, but coming up later on tonight a universally pleasing main event – the filling of the throne. The first ever Lucky 13 Battle match to decide who the first ever AOW World Champion will be is still to come! But first, we’re gonna send you backstage to our ‘Green Zone’ interview set and the very, very –
…yes – VERY lovely Torrie Wilson.
~We cut backstage to an area lined against the wall with a white curtain, the color of peace in the ‘Green Zone’. There’s a small pillar podium nearby with a prop microphone on it, but behind the white curtain, seems to be what looks like titanium plates, as if to symbolize a fortress.
Thanks, Joey! This is Torrie Wilson from the Art of War Green Zone, where –
~Wilson is cut off by a leather jacketed body’s arm is seen being wrapped around her shoulders. Wilson looks on in disgust and the face the body and arm belong to are revealed to be Mike Mizanin.
And I’m Mike “The Miz” Mizanin.
Yeah. He’s The Miz. Big deal. But we are your backstage interview team, where our goal is to give you the most coverage possible behind the scenes and outside the ring.
What do you mean, big deal? I was on MTV, babe, of course I’m a big deal.
Oh, really, little boy?
Uh, yeah stupid girl. Been sniffing our purse dog’s freshly done fur a little much? Get a reality check, sister. I’ve got the interview skills to go take on anyone with this mike and in the ring!
Really? Well here’s our first ever guest here in the Green Zone, Bobby Lashley!
~The crowd lets loose for a very surprising mixed reaction, but it favors many boos. Who knew Lashley wasn’t a smark favorite? Regardless, Miz looks on terrified at the big hulking black guy before him.
Uh…you can take the first one, Torrie.
~Miz exits the screen very quickly
That’s what I thought. So Lashley, how do you feel about being here in AOW Wrestling?
~Lashley has absolutely no chance to get a word out before Christian Cage enters the frame, arms crossed and a small smirk on his face. Even so, Christian gets a massive pop from the crowd, possibly b/c he’s loved, but also possibly b/c he’s stopped Bobby Lashley from talking
How are you, Torrie? It’s been years. You look great!
Well thank you, Christian! Same to you, but uh…I’m in the middle of an interview here.
Yeah, well, Torrie, how about you let me take this one?
~Christian takes the seemingly prop microphone from the pillar and lets us see it’s an actual working mike. The camera shifts focus to Lash and Christian, but Wilson is still standing nearby.
How’s it going, Lashley? Don’t answer that. I’ll tell you where you should be going – and that’s far, far away from AOW. Like away from Oblivion and into oblivion itself.
~The crowd lets out a pop of approval for this, their mixed reaction going in favor of Christian now. Christian’s smirk is still present.
Why are you here, Lashley? I’m here because the company I was in before treated me like dirt and I wasn’t given the appreciation I deserve. And before I could quit, they fired my ass. If I recall, Lashley, you voluntarily walked out on your contract after you’d just been given a world title match and been treated like a superhuman god who could do no wrong. So, why exactly are you here?
~Before Lashley can answer, Cage pulls the microphone back to his mouth, still smirking.
Don’t answer that. If you’ve come here because you think you can just mosey on in here and take whatever you want just because of your name and be worshipped, you’re sorely mistaken. Chris Jericho is sorely mistaken. And if Shawn Michaels thinks that way, then he’s sorely mistaken. There are too many of us back here who have worked our tails off only be turned away. And I’ll speak for them and say we won’t stand for a guy like you to come here on our opportunity and take it way before we can even breathe on it.
~This almost seems like Christian’s (or maybe Paul Heyman’s…?) legitimate feelings. Is this a worked shoot? Either way, the smarky crowd is cheering very wildly, agreeing with Christian’s sentiments, worked or not. Christian’s smirk has now completely disintegrated into a look of seriousness.
So Bobby Lashley, you’d better prove yourself and earn everything you get here. An entire legion of us back here are fairly certain you didn’t earn the right to be the last ECW World Champion in the presence of Paul Heyman. We don’t know why you’re here, but we don’t like you. And we don’t want you. So if you didn’t know…now you know.
~The Hammerstein lets out a massive roar b/c now Lashley knows their sentiments towards him as well. Lashley is left stone faced and ‘soft spoken’. Christian’s face is of pure intensity before we catch a glimpse of a very troubled looking Torrie Wilson before we cut away.
There is a creature alive today…
We see a shot of what looks to be that of a gargantuan 7-foot, heavyset being in the shadows
That has survived millions of years of evolution…
The man steps from the shadows, head down, face still concealed by an equally enormous hoodie
A quick shot flashes of the man ROARING while grabbing a man by the throat in the middle of a ring
The giant lifts and chokeslams the man into the ground, causing the canvas to crack and the ring to collapse
And without remorse…
The giant rolls up his sleeve, revealing a taped fist the size of a bowling ball
It lives to kill; a merciless, monstrous machine….
The ‘monstrous machine’ prepares, as another man rushes towards the beast
It will attack and destroy anything…
The hooded giant swings his giant fist, crushing the attacking man’s jaw as if it were a wrecking ball
It is as if God created the devil and made him…
Flashback to the shot of the giant in the hood standing alone, still surrounded by shadows
The giant finally raises his head, but before we can see his face, the screen cuts to black, where we then see the words –
~Paul “The Great” Wright~
COMING SOON TO AOW
As we return from the break, we get to see the face of the one and only Rob Van Dam. The Hammerstein lets out a deafening roar. Van Dam doesn’t acknowledge the camera for a second, as he’s beating the hell out of a punching bag with punches and kicks. He eventually turns towards the camera and acknowledges his reaction with his trademark smile and shrug. He gets a little more serious when he begins talking.
So Chris Jericho thinks he can just groove on in here, co-sign on the line, and proclaim himself champion? And you, Chris, have the gall to sit there and try and upstage a man like Paul Heyman?
~A great deal of heat
Chris, I respect you for the wrestler you are. I respect you for the things that you’ve done. And hell, I do appreciate you having the idea to get this company off the ground. But I respect Paul Heyman much, much more than I could ever respect you, dude.
I think someone said it best earlier, but you gotta earn everything you get here in AOW. And you’re no different, dude. So when we get in that ring tonight to decide the first ever champion of this company you so proudly says is yours, you’re gonna come face to face with me. And that doesn’t bode so well for you, dude.
~Another great big pop
One more guy needs a mention here…a guy named Shawn Michaels is back here, too.
~Another roof-popping pop for a mention of the Heart Break Kid in AOW
Shawn, I hear you’ll be in that ring later, too. And I’ll be staring you in the eye. I respect you too, Shawn. But this is the house that I built. And I’ve brought it down before. And if my memory serves correct, Shawn…you’ve never been to my house before.
~Another decent pop from the crowd
It takes a lot of balls to go from where you were with all you’d done to come here, man. But I’m not just gonna hand you that title on a silver platter. No one here is. And as for everyone else in the main event tonight, hope you guys brought your A-game. Simply ‘cause there’s only one man walking away with that gold tonight, so say it loud, say it proud, Hammerstein - (thumbs in the air, crowd joins in) ROB – VAN – DAM.
~Back at ringside…
Rob Van Dam makes his case and it’s a damn good one if I do say so myself.
~Pun not intended
Listen, Rob Van Dam has what it takes to electrify a crowd and put on fantastic matches, he’s a fantastic athlete, but I don’t think he’ll be able to take that world title.
And what about that very cold greeting to Bobby Lashley by Christian Cage concerning Lashley just being here in AOW? That’s gotta raise quite a few eyebrows.
Look, I’m not gonna judge Christian for not wanting Bobby Lashley here, but I think he’s using his story as a cover up. Christian, as good as he is, has never been good enough and he’s pro’ly just jealous at Lashley’s success.
Christian does have a history of that, John, but we’re back here on Oblivion to present you with our cruiserweight division ready to go on display!
The unfamiliar tune of “JACK E.” is heard across the Ballroom, as Jack Evans bursts forth from the curtain, about to dance out of his shoes. Evans is donning his trademark white boy wave cap tonight before stepping into the ring and hitting a few break dance moves. The crowd is amused enough to give him some pops. We learn from commentary that the man rapping in the theme song is Evans himself.
“A COUNTRY BOY CAN SURVIVE (Instrumental)” hits the speakers now, as Jamie Noble comes through the curtain with the polar opposite demeanor of Evans – focused and ready for a fight. Noble is getting a decent reaction, as a few of his ROH and indy followers are present. One of his biggest fans appears to be JBL, who declares Noble as ‘his boy’ while on commentary.
The roughneck, no nonsense Noble has an intense look still on his face, but perhaps its agitation, seeing as how Jack Evans hasn’t stopped moving since he entered the ring. Evans is moving in some combination of dancing and a wrestling stance. When Noble hesitates to attack for a moment, Evans uses this chance to jive continue to jive around before surprising Noble with a swift leg sweep, causing Noble to fall. Evans gets on his feet quickly from the low sweep before executing a beautiful, standing moonsault to cover Noble very quickly – 1…2…NO! Noble won’t go down in such a flash!
Noble gets to his feet with a nasty scowl on his face, punting Evans in the gut before grappling him from behind and thrusting him face first into a turnbuckle. Evans’ head bounces off violently, sending him whiplashing back into the arms of an awaiting Noble, who grapples his head from behind for a split second before executing what looks like a cobra clutch slam. Noble’s version of ‘Dream Street’ gets him his first cover of the contest. 1…2…-NO!! Evans has more fight left in him!
This hot start has the crowd in both men’s corners, but Noble has the advantage. He uses this to chuck Evans between his legs now and get some double underhooks in, looking for something, but as he flips Evans for what looks like a Tiger Driver, Evans counters with a lightning-quick hurricanrana pin, holding onto Noble’s leg and getting another pinfall attempt. 1…2…3-NO!!! Noble slides from under Evans, leaving Evans on his knees. Noble bridges back to his feet before executing a back kick that catches Evans in the jaw. Evans’ head makes a beeline for the canvas before Noble goes for another cover. 1….2…NO!! Evans kicks out again!! With that kickout, Noble grabs hold of Evans’ arm and locks in an armbar, hoping to drain some of the jive out of Jack E’s step.
Evans finds a way to fight out of the hold after a few seconds of agony, finally getting to his feet and jabbing Noble in the ribs to force him to let go of his arm. Evans then whips Noble into a corner, going to the opposite one, performing a cartwheel across the ring before nailing Noble with an elbow. Noble collapses to the canvas before rolling out to recover, but Evans is in quick pursuit. Evans leaps to the top rope, his back towards Noble on the outside. Noble looks up to see Evans performing a DOUBLE MOONSAULT onto Noble, right in front of the commentators. The crowd has never seen anything like it, and judging from JBL’s and Joey’s (OH MY GOD!!!) reactions, neither have they.
“HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!!” chants are abound, which is rare for TV anyway, but nonetheless, it roars across the Hammerstein. Evans gets to his feet to a big pop, who throws Noble back into the ring. As Noble gets to his feet, Evans rebound off the ropes in front of him, ducking under a Noble retaliation clothesline and rebounding again. On this rebound, Noble tries a clothesline again, forcing Evans to duck once more. Quickly, Noble grabs the doubled over and momentous Evans with one arm, hooking an underhook, then grabs the other, and locks in another underhook before nailing a nasty Tiger Driver. The wind is knocked all out of Evans, his neck driven into the canvas. 1….2…3…!!!
Winner: Jamie Noble at 5:56
Now THAT was something! Jamie Noble may have gotten the W, but the crowd will definitely be talking about Jack Evans and his absolutely impressive display here tonight!
What the hell are you talking about, Joey? So a white kid can break dance and do crazy flips – so can the guys on Jackass. My man “Pitbull” Jamie Noble just proved that all that fancy footwork doesn’t mean a damn thing. It’s about the win and loss column here in AOW Wrestling.
Oh come on! An impression is an impression, John, and Evans made a damn good one just now.
You think if our Founding Fathers made just an ‘impression’ on Great Britain, they would’ve had a revolution and formed the United States of America? NO! They beat the bumblin’ Brits! They won! So you can go on your little blog and talk about Jack Evans and you saying ‘OH MY GOD’ all you want, but the fact remains Jamie Noble is a winner and just inserted himself in the running as the most dominant cruiserweight here in AOW.
We’re brought to what looks to be a desert, sand going on for miles. The camera pans all the way across until it eventually hits a man’s torso. The camera climbs to see the man’s face. He’s quickly identified as Muhammad Hassan.
My name is Muhammad Hassan. And I am a changed man.
The camera shifts out of focus for a moment, then re-focuses on Hassan in another part of the desert.
You see, I used to get so angry at Americans for the way they treated me. They hated me just because I looked just like some kind of terrorist.
The screen shows a quick flash of the notorious Osama Bin Laden, but only for a quick instant
I vehemently expressed my opinions and defended the fact that just like them, I was just a regular American man from Minnesota. They didn’t listen. So I became exactly what they wanted me to become. A terrorizing individual. And it cost me my career.
A short and shadowy re-enactment of Hassan and his ‘sympathizers’ beating the shit out of someone and Hassan choking them with piano wire shows. The man who’s obviously substituting for the Undertaker in this clip’s face is not shown.
But like I said – I’m a changed man. And it’s a funny way how life works. My Saudi Arabian great uncle recently passed, but in his will, he beset me something of great wealth and value –
Hassan is still in the desert, but he points to something next to him. In an instant, the ground opens up and shoots out what appears to be oil.
My uncle had an oil empire!!! So now all those Americans who wanted me dead are paying me millions to do nothing but drive around in their pointless luxury cars!
We now see Hassan in a city, expensive sunglasses and suit on, rolling around in a gas-guzzling Hummer H2.
I used to hate my fellow Americans for their hate of me. Now I love them for making my wallet as big and fat as their children!! HA-HA!!
We now see a shot of Hassan in his Hummer passing by and snatching an ice-cream cone out of the hand of a very obese young lad. Hassan takes a lick before laughing.
The scene goes back to Hassan, no sunglasses, still in a suit, against a black background. He has a look of sheer intensity on his face.
Because of you, I am leagues richer than you. But this doesn’t make me a happy man. No. I won’t be happy until I see every cent my millionaire uncle willed to me used for making my fellow pious Americans suffer. My name is Muhammad Hassan – exile turned tycoon. And I am a changed man.
We’re back backstage, where we see the first shot of that one guy everyone keeps talking about – Shawn Michaels. The crowd lets out an enormous pop, as the first real physical evidence has shown up that he’s real and here. Michaels is preparing himself before he stares at the camera and grins. The crowd pops one more time, but he turns away when someone taps on his shoulder from behind…
Hey! Shawn Michaels!
Michaels turns around at about eye level, then drops his head to show he was looking for someone a little…bigger. The man he sees instead is the rather non-physically intimidating Bryan Danielson. A few folks who know his face let out a few cheers.
Um…hey there, little fella! What can I autograph for you?
~Danielson is not amused, apparently
I don’t really want an autograph, Michaels, but eh…well, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a fan.
Of course you’re a fan! The Heart Break Kid’s found a new home to start breakin’ hearts and stealin’ shows all over again! Who wouldn’t wanna come see that?
~Another roar of approval from New York
Shawn Michaels…I’ve been a fan of yours since I was a little boy. I sat there and I watched you through all your, y’know, show stealing moves and your zipwire entrances and your boyhood dreams. But I was also a fan for those smiles you lost and all those injuries –
I appreciate it, kid, I really do, but if this isn’t really going anywhere, I need to finish getting ready –
I’m not done yet. I was a fan of yours through all that, and you greatly inspired me. So I went and enrolled in your wrestling academy where I could learn to become a professional wrestler. Just like you.
Oh, did you now?
Oh yeah. I couldn’t wait to be there and train under the same roof as the Heart Break Kid. But I was sorely disappointed. I wanted to meet the man who I called my own Icon, my own hero. But you never showed up, Shawn. You never step foot in that school or shook my hand, or even came to see any of my matches.
~This leaves the crowd buzzing and Michaels silent
All I wanted to do was be able to look my idol in the eye and make him proud. But I never got that chance.
But now you do. Look, son…all I can say is I’m terribly, terribly sorry from the bottom of my heart. I used to not be the…uh…most pleasurable guy on the planet. I made some promises I never kept, I had some debts I never paid. And I’m sorry I never held up my end of my bargain for you. But this is a new start for me and a whole new start for you. So I will promise you – I am not that guy anymore. And who do I have the privilege of addressing, mister…?
Danielson. Bryan Danielson. And some call me the Best in the World.
~The two shake hands again to very nice pop, despite the somewhat cocky self-bidding of Danielson. Michaels begins to walk out of the frame, but not before another hand appears on HBK’s shoulder…
That seemed a bit intense, huh Heartbreak?
~Shawn Michaels turns around to see another face he might not have ever seen before in Samoa Joe
Uh…sure, big fella.
My name’s Samoa Joe. And you’re the great Shawn Michaels, am I right?
You’d be correct there, Joe.
Hm. Funny, huh. Everyone here seems to know you and you don’t seem to know anyone, do you? That kind of stuff puts a big, big target on your back, my friend. And add to the fact all those showstoppin' moments and matches? And the fact that you’re THE Shawn Michaels? Yeah. You’ve got a huge target on your back.
Well thanks for the heads up, Joe, but I think I’ll be fine fending for myself. And I’m sure a big guy like you can fend for yourself too. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a match to prepare for. So I’ll see ya around, Joe.
No, see, it’s not ‘see ya around, Joe’. Here’s another heads up - I’m gonna be out there in that Lucky 13 Battle for that AOW World title. So it’s ‘see you in a few minutes when you’ll be kicking my ass, Joe’.
The crowd actually chuckles a bit at this before it lets loose into laughter when Joe slaps Michaels’ ‘target’ on his back, causing the off-guard HBK to collapse from the heavy hand of the Samoan Submission Machine. Michaels holds his back, comically making an attempt to get back to his feet.
Man…where do these guys keep COMING from…?
~Back at ringside…
Who do these guys think they are? Disrespecting Shawn Michaels like that.
I think it’s just like Samoa Joe said – Shawn Michaels definitely has a target on his back. He’s a big name, and as you can sympathize, partner, taking down a big name could be the key to a breakout star.
I defeated a star in Eddie Guerrero for a world title once, so yes, it is key to a breakout star.
You’ve also been the defeated star a few times, right Bradshaw?
I haven’t the slightest clue what you’re talkin’ about.
Well as my partner suffers from his selective memory loss, ring announcer Tony Chimel is in the ring to announce the start of our first ever main event.
The following main event contest is the Lucky 13 Battle for the A-O-DOUBLE EEEEUUUUUU CHAMPIONSHIP!
The rules are as follows: thirteen men will enter the ring, being eliminated by being thrown over the top rope. The final four men will then compete by one fall to the finish rules. The man who pins or makes submit one of his final four opponents will be crowned the AOW WORLD CHAMPION!!!
~Even bigger pop
The crowd lets out a bursting cheer, as CM Punk makes his way through the curtain to his elder indies theme. Punk’s got a big, satisfied grin on his face, happy to be back in a place with a cult following. Punk’s generous pop follows him all the way down the aisle.
Making his way to the ring – from Chi-ca-goooooooooo, Illinois, weighing in at 222 pounds…the Straight-Edge Superstar…CEE…EMM…PUNK!!!!
CM Punk is here in AOW to bring his straight-edge beliefs to all! CM Punk lives a life that is drug free and alcohol free, and on top of that, his knowledge of wrestling is second to none. This kid is definitely one that we have to be on the watch for, Bradshaw.
Why? Who you really have to be on the watch-out for are any old ECW convicts who drink, gamble, and have their way with whoever they want. This guy doesn’t drink, he doesn’t smoke, and he doesn’t do anything without asking mommy and daddy for permission.
~Punk smiles and nods toward the crowd before respectfully asking Chimel for his microphone
In case you folks missed my awesome introduction, my name is CM Punk.
~The crowd explodes again
And with all due respect to you, Tony Chimel, yes, I am from Chicago, yes, I am Straight-Edge…but no, I am not a “Superstar”.
~A little buzz for this curious statement
You see, what “Superstars” do is come out here and put on a show, pandering to everyone in sight. They have their own PR departments, they have other people make decisions about their lives and who they are for them, but most importantly, what a “Superstar” is, through all that glitz and glamour, is a mere puppet.
~Crowd keeps buzzing for this still curious statement. This is potentially a pot-shot at the WWE
So you see, my name is CM Punk and I am not a “Superstar”. I don’t have all that glitz and glamour. I don’t have all the bells and whistles. And I’m pretty damn sure I don’t have any strings attached to me making me dance. I am a wrestler. Pure and simple. What I do is come out here and wrestle. If it so happens to entertain you Hammerstein folks, so be it. But whether or not you love me, or even like me, is merely a formality to me. Because I love this ring and everything done in it.
~Punk gets a surprising ovation following those remarks, his passion showing vigorously
So Tony, from this day forth, do not ever call CM Punk a “Superstar” again. You can call me the Straight-Edge Saint, the Straight-Edge Salutatorian, the Straight-Edge Sigmund Freud – I don’t care. Just so that when my intro is done, these people know that CM Punk is a professional wrestler who loves professional wrestling. And tonight, I will become the first ever champion of war.
The crowd gives a standing ovation to this address, Punk having gotten to the heart of the former ECW Mutants. A heart many weren’t sure they had. Punk’s ovation refuses to die down as he gives Chimel back his microphone and does some warm ups, shadow boxing, etc.
The Straight-Edge CM Punk is just the first man in this World Championship Lucky 13 Battle and has made it quite clear where he stands here in AOW. Who will be crowned the FIRST EVER AOW World Champion? We’ll find out next!!!
Upon returning from the break, the sound stage lets loose with a very daunting pipe organ, before continuing into some very creepy sounding tones, as “WELCOME TO WHITECHAPEL” is heard. The crowd buzzes for a second to find out who it is, but while the wait is short as Paul Burchill makes his way down the ramp, being announced as “The Ripper”. He’s donning a gentleman’s coat, but throws it off as he enters the ring.
“LAMBEG” plays now, as we see for the first time in an AOW environment, the Fighting Irishman they call Finlay. Finlay comes on down the ramp, unamused at the large crowd he’s performing in front of.
“STORM LANCING” plays for the first time across AOW, as development trainer and one of the first talents announced with the company in Lance Storm comes down the ramp to a solid reaction, being in the final home of ECW and all, surrounded by those who watched him.
“MASTERPIECE” hits the speakers now, as a largely dull reaction is heard (or unheard) for Chris Masters, making his AOW presence known with his signature poses at the entrance stage, sans pyro. The man with the feared full-nelson makes more taunts and gestures before sliding in the ring. He meets and stares down Lance Storm upon entering, the veteran not giving an inch.
*HIILALIAH LALIAH LAAALIAH…*
“MAD MAN” is heard following this ominous Arabian chanting, as the newly-wealthy Muhammad Hassan makes his way down the ramp. He’s getting some pretty heavy heat, as Hassan’s golden tights match his golden head towel, Hassan taking the heat as a blessing and not caring. Heat or no heat, he’s still rich.
*DON’T CALL IT A COMEBACK…!!!*
“MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT” hits the airwaves, as Samoa Joe makes his way through the curtain now, going back to an ROH theme. He’s getting a nice reaction, taking his time and keeping an absolutely intense composure getting into the ring.
We saw Joe moments ago with Shawn Michaels, but Samoa Joe is no stranger to the ring. He’s undefeated in North America as a professional wrestler in singles competition. Now that’s impressive!
~AOW seems to be acknowledging his TNA undefeated streak…
“619 ESTA VIVO” hits for the first time, but this is quickly recognized as the remixed entrance theme of none other than Rey Mysterio Jr. Rey gets the biggest ovation out of everyone who has competed so far, a fact that the “King of Mystery” acknowledges with some high fives.
Oh no. He’s followed me to AOW.
That man that my partner so loathes is Rey Mysterio Jr., easily the most recognizable cruiserweight on the entire planet, and from the looks of things, the lucha legend is here to make a statement in his new company.
“JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES” meets quickly afterward, as Christian Cage stops on the stage to look for his “peeps” for just a second before coming on down to a great reaction from the smarky Mutant setting. Perhaps the fans agree with his statements earlier…?
…but things hit a new level of “Bizarro World” when “HELL WILL BE AT YOUR DOOR” begins to play and the physical specimen that is Bobby Lashley comes out to DEAFENING HEAT. And all Lashley’s done is walk out on stage. And he hasn’t said a word all night. The incredibly smarky mutants here tonight are making their voices heard, showing their extreme (pun intended) displeasure with the last man to hold the ECW title in the presence of Paul Heyman, perhaps because of being an overpushed McMahon product and they agreed with Christian, or maybe the Hammerstein doesn’t really care much for black people. Nonetheless, the surprising reaction doesn’t seem to phase Lashley.
This is quickly whiplashed by “WALK” by Pantera, as the Mutants know only who that can be. Rob Van Dam makes his way to the stage with a THUNDEROUS ovation, as the entire arena joins Robbie V in his “Rob! Van! Dam!” taunt before he jumps into the ring.
“BREAK DOWN THE WALLS”, this remake done by Fozzy, explodes from the stage, as the first bit of pyro to go off tonight does for Chris Jericho’s entrance. Jericho, usually a smark favorite, is getting a great amount of heat following his comments earlier. The ‘holier than thou’ stride in Jericho’s step just tells us he doesn’t give a damn. As Jericho struts down to the ring, he takes the time to walk over to the podium bound title and stare into the golden reflection.
…and finally, “SEXY BOY” lets fly, as the Heart Break Kid Shawn Michaels flies from the back, getting a larger-than-Van Dam-sized reaction now. Michaels doesn’t pray or set off pyro, but his energetic strut to the ring tells us he’s more than ready to put on a show tonight and be crowned a champion in the process, target on him and all.
~Lucky 13 Battle~
*TO CROWN THE FIRST EVER AOW WORLD CHAMPION*
Rob Van Dam v. Chris Jericho v. CM Punk v. Shawn Michaels v. Christian Cage v. Bobby Lashley v. Finlay v. Muhammad Hassan v. Rey Mysterio v. Samoa Joe v. Chris Masters v. Lance Storm v. Paul Burchill
The match kicks off with what seems like a small cluster, but a good bit of order is instilled when folks start branching off towards the corners, leaving the men in the middle of the ring to be Shawn Michaels and Rob Van Dam. The two meet in a staredown, which gets a great pop from the crowd. Behind Van Dam, Chris Masters looks to be attempting a sneak attack, but Michaels moves Van Dam out of the way and delivers some Sweet Chin Music that sends Masters toppling over the top rope.
ELIMINATION #1: CHRIS MASTERS at 0:31
Van Dam returns the favor almost immediately, as behind Michaels, Finlay is sneaking up, which Van Dam quickly delivers his own superkick to, with the crowd loving that. Finlay, however, doesn’t fly over the top rope, simply being forced against the ropes. Unfortunately, this is quickly followed up by Samoa Joe coming out of nowhere and clotheslining Finlay over the top rope.
ELIMINATION #2: FINLAY at 1:12
Two men quickly eliminated here, but the remaining ten men are disbursed among each other, still forcing some anarchy. Lance Storm has started brawling with Danielson, Punk is the target of Hassan and Chris Jericho, while Mysterio and Lashley are trying to deal with Christian and Samoa Joe. Following the superkick, HBK tries to sneak behind Van Dam and dump him over, but Van Dam catches himself on the ropes, landing on the apron and staring back in to Michaels. This gets some heat, but Van Dam walks back in, everything being confirmed that no one really has allies in a world title war.
This is cemented even further when Michaels turns his attention to Lance Storm, who dodges a Michaels clothesline that sends him stumbling into some ropes, where he’s quickly ambushed by Paul Burchill. Burchill is on the apron, using some unorthodoxed headscissors to maybe try and bring the biggest name in the fight over, but Michaels manages to throw him off and back onto the apron. Michaels is then hit by a shot from Bobby Lashley, but Burchill doesn’t stay on the apron long, using the ropes to launch himself towards the ring, nailing Lance Storm with an explosive slingshot shoulder block. The bystander goes down hard, but as Burchill gets to his feet, he’s being stalked by CM Punk. As Burch turns to face Punk, he gets a swift roundhouse kick, sending him head over heels and over the ropes.
ELIMINATION #3: PAUL BURCHILL at 4:23
Punk looks on in satisfaction momentarily, before going back into the fray. Around the ring, Mysterio now has his hands full with Samoa Joe now roaming over to him, CM Punk and Christian are exchanging blows, as well as Storm and Van Dam. Lashley and Michaels are trying to eliminate each other, while Jericho and Muhammad Hassan get together momentarily to pick targets, Jericho roaming over to double team Punk again, while Hassan goes over to feast on Mysterio, but gets caught with a massive flurry of chops and slaps from Samoa Joe, pretty much telling him to go find his own kill.
Michaels and Lashley soon run into Lance Storm and RVD, which turns into a show of strength from Lashley, who soon clubs down all three men before Storm gets to his feet and attempts to rush at the big black guy, but is soon lifted into a military press and almost thrown from his perch over the top rope…but Storm finds a way to fight his way off. Attempting to eliminate an ECW Alumni member does NOT help Lashley’s standing in the Hammerstein to say the least, but as soon as Storm gets his footing, he’s ambushed from behind by Chris Jericho, dumping his fellow Canadian over the rope.
ELIMINATION #4: LANCE STORM at 6:19
Jericho flexes a taunt, which prompts forth more heat, which is amplified when Jericho says “I’m top dog, ass clown!”. This turns into a pop when he’s bashed from behind by CM Punk. The natural smartass attitude of CM Punk then leads him to flex the same taunt Jericho just did, this time to a reaction of approval. Jericho uses this to his advantage, however, and attempts to knock Punk over the ropes, but Punk hangs on, Jericho continuing to try and ambush folks. Unfortunately for Punk, just as quickly he sticks the landing on the apron, he gets a running back elbow from Muhammad Hassan, knocking him off the apron and out of this match.
ELIMINATION #5: CM PUNK at 6:50
This garners heat for the tag team elimination, but Hassan is quickly in the grasp of Shawn Michaels, who delivers a few shots to his head. Jericho is met with Rey Mysterio, while Samoa Joe shows us that Lashley is human by delivering a fierce CHOP(Woooooo!) to him that sends him reeling. Van Dam and Cage are now in each other’s face, as it looks like there’re only a few bodies left in the ring.
The next body to leave, however, comes while Christian and Lashley are throwing blows. Christian manages to pull ahead with those blows, forcing a hard shoulder into the gut of Lashley before Lashley tries a suplex, but Christian floats behind him and locks the arms, looking for that Unprettier…which he has locked in…BUT LASHLEY STANDS STRAIGHT UP, putting Christian on his shoulders in a compromising position. The strength of Lashley is on display again, as Christian is still gripping the wrists of Lashley while sitting on his shoulder. Lashley backpedals into some ropes, sending Christian tumbling off Lash’s shoulders and to the floor.
ELIMINATION #6: CHRISTIAN CAGE at 8:01
Lashley eliminates his first man in this match, but again, it doesn’t help his standing in the Hammerstein. Potentially getting back at Christian for his comments earlier, Lashley jumps back into the fray, having more momentum than anyone…SWEET CHIN MUSIC FROM NOWHERE. Shawn Michaels makes the lid come off the Hammerstein and the head come off the shoulders of Lashley, doing just what the Showstopper does best. In keeping with his attitude tonight, Michaels is quickly attacked from behind by Chris Jericho, attempting another ambush dump, but Michaels hangs onto the apron. Michaels manages to get back in, but his spine gets crushed by a Samoa Joe backbreaker.
The ‘target’ Joe was talking about earlier seems all the more apparent right now, as nearly everyone in the ring has their eye on HBK. It’s Muhammad Hassan who pulls him away, however, fighting back Joe with hard shots to the head. Hassan rolls HBK to his stomach and locks in a Camel Clutch, increasing the strain on Michaels’ historically bad back. Even so, Michaels is able to crawl to a rope, but it doesn’t break the count, the match being no-DQ. Even so, Hassan is dangerously close to the ropes, a sight not lost on one Rey Mysterio Jr., who rebounds and rushes across the ring nailing Hassan with the 619 while still holding onto a Camel Clutch.
Hassan falls off Michaels back, but rolls to his feet, only to see Mysterio shooting off the top rope towards him with a hurricanrana . This sends Hassan flailing towards some ropes, but in front of them, is Samoa Joe. The momentum puts Hassan on the shoulders of Joe, who quickly dumps him off his shoulders, eliminating the Mad Man.
ELIMINATION #7: MUHAMMAD HASSAN at 9:07
A decent pop goes around, but before anything else happens, Joe gets struck in the face with some SWEET CHIN MUSIC. Joe goes tumbling, but somehow, is still able to grab onto some ropes, being laid out on the apron. Michaels seems to have responded to Joe’s ‘target’ remark by putting a target on Joe’s chin. On the other side of the ring, Jericho is again trying to ambush and dump, this time Mysterio, but Rob Van Dam is quick to stop this with a spinning wheel kick to stop the stalking. As Joe gets to his feet on the apron, the crowd begins to buzz. This is because someone’s rushing down the ramp…its Finlay, with his signature shillelagh in hand. Finlay, not one to forgive or forget, drives the staff into the back of Joe’s knee, performing an Irish drive-by of sorts, causing Joe to fall from the apron to the floor.
ELIMINATION #8: SAMOA JOE at 9:37
Just as quickly as he came, Finlay disappears into the back, having eliminated the man who eliminated him. After this, the realization sets in to those in the ring that one more elimination sends this match into a Fatal-4 Way setting. With this, Jericho is quick to attempt to target Rey Mysterio once again, being someone easy to throw over the top rope. He grabs Mysterio by the back of the head and flings him over…but Mysterio hangs on and attempts to skin the cat back into the ring…right into some headscissors to Jericho. However, Y2J is quick to throw Mysterio’s legs back onto the apron, but he’s quickly attacked by Rob Van Dam from behind. After a blow, Van Dam grabs Jericho’s attempted kick and attempts the step-over spinning wheel kick, but Jericho drops his body at the least minute, forcing Van Dam to miss Jericho and hit the man behind him, which was Mysterio still on the apron.
ELIMINATION #9: REY MYSTERIO JR. at 10:00
That’s it!!! A whole new match will begin!! Van Dam isn’t exactly pleased with whom he eliminated, but he’s in the finals, so he’ll take it.
We have our Final Four!!! Who’s gonna walk away with the title – Chris Jericho, Bobby Lashley, Rob Van Dam, or Shawn Michaels? Find out next!!!
MAIN EVENT, PT.2
~FINAL FOUR BATTLE~
*TO CROWN THE FIRST EVER AOW WORLD CHAMPION*
Rob Van Dam v. Chris Jericho v. Shawn Michaels v. Bobby Lashley
Every man is now ready, with the commercial break having served as their brief breather. All four men are in the different respective corners, but yet again, the words of Samoa Joe ring true as Van Dam, Lash, and Y2J all jump into Michaels’ corner and begin pounding on him. Michaels takes the blows like the Iron Man he is, but is quickly overwhelmed until he delivers a flurry of CHOPS(Wooooooo!) to all three men in quick succession. This sends everyone reeling away, leaving Michaels to duel with Jericho, while Van Dam and Lashley pull away and start a brawl of their own.
This separation doesn’t last long, as both duels wind up crossing in the center ring, with Lashley now taking control and throwing his weight around. He clotheslines Van Dam over the top rope before turning his attention towards Jericho and HBK with a vicious club to the spine of Jericho, who had taken the offensive against Michaels. As Michaels hurts in the corner, Lashley whips Jericho across the ring violently, causing Jericho to get thrashed against the corner, his violent momentum forcing him back out and right into a Lashley belly-to-belly suplex. This gets the first cover of this match going - 1…2…NO!! Jericho is able to kick out!
As Michaels stands hurt in the corner, RVD climbs back on the apron adjacent to Michaels, sneaking up on the Kid of Heartbreak with a well-placed kick to the back of the head of an unsuspecting Michaels. The flexibility of RVD is on display on that one, as Michaels drops like a stone to the canvas. Van Dam quickly gets back in to get his first pin attempt – 1…2…NO!! Van Dam is shoved off by Lashley with a heavy blow to the back of the head. This rocks Van Dam for a second, long enough for Lashley to take him into the air and hold him there with a delayed vertical suplex. As RVD hands on the shoulder of the awfully powerful Lashley, he lets go and holds him up with one hand, prompting the crowd to make some noise. The Mutants give him noise, but not what Lashley was hoping, as Lashley gets a parade float of heat once again, and hoisting up the Van Daminator doesn’t help. Before Lashley can suplex Van Dam, however, Chris Jericho comes back to life. He sees Lashley veering far too close to some ropes and uses this to execute his triangle dropkick, right into Lashley’s midsection, but it causes him to backpedal into the ropes behind him, sending Van Dam tumbling from an elevated position all the way to the floor.
Lashley hits the ropes hard, his neck catching the ropes bad. Jericho takes the momentarily stunned Lashley and throws him across the ring, hitting him with a nice dropkick on the rebound, taking down the big man. This gets sort of a sarcastic pop from the crowd, but Jericho flashes his first grin of the night. As Jericho stands smiling to himself, he’s suddenly brought head over heels to the canvas, as Shawn Michaels has him a school boy roll-up!! Michaels taking a sneaky page out of Jericho’s own book tonight – 1…2….NO!!! Jericho throws his feet up to continue the contest!!
Jericho’s smile goes into a snarl as he gets back to his feet, but he doesn’t wait for HBK to get to his. Jericho jumps on the still hunched over Michaels and punts him in the gut once again before quickly taking him and hitting a backdrop that immediately has Michaels tending to his lower back. Jericho stomps on Michaels back a few times, obviously knowing of the ‘target’ on Michaels’ back and taking it from metaphorical to physical. Jericho then grabs a handful of Michaels’ hair and brings him to his feet, whipping him into the ropes. As Michaels comes back, he nails Jericho with the flying forearm that lays both men out to a great pop before Michaels kips back up.
As Michaels gets to his feet, Bobby Lashley jumps back into the fray, but he’s met with a Michaels inverted atomic drop and a blow to the head to down him again. HBK’s fired up, and the Hammerstein is fired up with him. But before Michaels can head to a corner to perhaps tune up the band, he’s met with the flying foot of Rob Van Dam from the top rope, taking Michaels clean off his feet and getting himself right back into this thing. A corner bound Lashley is next to get some, as Van Dam rushes at him with a hard shoulder to the gut before taking a step back and a backflip before nailing him with one more, forcing Lashley down and to roll out of the ring. The on-fire Van Dam then takes a look behind him, as Chris Jericho attempts a kick, but it’s caught yet again, with Jericho getting nailed with the step over spinning wheel kick. The crowd is all behind Van Dam at this point, who takes a peek at Michaels, flat on his stomach. Van Dam takes a moment to look around, thumbs at the ready –
“ROB!! VAN!! DAM!!”
With the theatrics done, Van Dam rebounds on some ropes and crunches Michaels’ back with some Rolling Thunder. With as much momentum as anyone, Van Dam attempts a cover on Michaels – 1…2….3…NO!!! Michaels, bad back and all, will not go down!! Van Dam knows there’s only one place to go now though – the top rope. Van Dam leaps onto the nearest one to Michaels body, with this Hammerstein crowd knowing exactly what he wants. Van Dam leaps with a world-title aimed Five Star Frog Splash…WHEN HE’S SPEARED OUT OF MID-AIR FROM NOWHERE BY BOBBY LASHLEY!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!! Not even this hostile crowd, hating Lashley all night, can prevent themselves from popping their heads off. It takes Lashley a second to come to after his somatically defiling spear, being forced to climb up the ropes as leverage. He takes one step towards the downed body of Van Dam, when he’s HIT WITH SWEET CHIN MUSIC!!!!
Another move that could kill a man makes the crowd lose their heads, as Bobby Lashley has possibly lost his for the second time tonight. HBK quickly collapses, back first, eagle spread onto Lashley, looking to become the first ever champion – 1…2……WHAT? The eagle spread HBK is pulled off Lashley by his feet…by Chris Jericho, who TURNS MICHAELS OVER FOR THE WALLS OF JERICHO!!! All the abuse Michaels has taken into this match directed towards his back has accumulated in it nearly being destroyed!!! The crowd is still white hot, prompting Michaels to not give up. And he isn’t. The Ironman is refusing to tap out, even though his back has probably been thrown out. It takes everything Michaels has left to start to crawl on his elbows towards a rope, moving inch by inch. Jericho recognizes that Michaels isn’t gonna go down and is trying to escape, so he quickly shifts his body weight INTO THE LIONTAMER VERSION OF THE WALLS OF JERICHO, contorting Michaels back and neck into positions a 40-year old’s body should not be twisting in. This cuts Michaels off at the pass for crawling to the ropes, and deflates the crowd a bit before firing back up, hoping for Van Dam to possibly recover or just for Michaels to hold on a bit longer….
HE TAPS!!! SHAWN MICHAELS TAPS!!! SHAWN MICHAELS TAPS OUT!!! AND WE HAVE A CHAMPION!!!
Winner and FIRST EVER AOW World Heavyweight Champion: Chris Jericho at (13:09) (23:09 total match time)
WE HAVE A CHAMPION!!! WE HAVE A CHAMPION!!!
Wars create heroes – that was a war and Chris Jericho is a hero!! That’s what a hero does! He sets his goals, lets you know it, and then does everything he can to fulfill his word! All of these men fought hard, tooth and nail, but Chris Jericho, the hero he is, walks away with the glory!
What does this mean for AOW? Chris Jericho, the man who stepped on Paul Heyman’s toes is now the man who is the very best in the world. I’m not sure if this bodes well for AOW at all.
Who gives a damn?! You’re supposed to be unbiased!! Whether you like it or not, call it like you see it, damnit!! Give that man his due!!
Indeed, whether this was desired, Chris Jericho has defeated a muscle man, the Ironman, and Rob Van Dam to become ‘The Man’! I’m Joey Styles alongside John Layfield, wishing you good night and a look at our FIRST EVER Champion of War, Chris Jericho.
The final shot of the very first edition of Oblivion is that of Chris Jericho being handed his gold by a referee, kissing the large gold plate, and throwing it over his shoulder to a mixed, but huge, reaction. Van Dam and Lashley are forced to look on in disappointment and defeat, while Shawn Michaels’ face is still buried in the canvas, conscious and aware, but unable to focus on anything but the pain in his lower back and in his pride.
Chris Jericho hoists the title high from off his shoulders with the sinister grin of a mastermind stretched across his face as we
Here's to hoping I didn't try to do too much. Trying to find my bearings first. Enjoy