Learning to break kayfabe
Join Date: Feb 2011
Re: Extreme Revival
EPW on HBO
“Start A War” by Static X plays as the opening video airs. We are live from Jersey City, New Jersey. The crowd goes nuts as we go to Joey Styles.
Joey: Hello there, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another exciting edition of Extreme Pro Wrestling on HBO! We're just two weeks away from our first pay per view, Still Barely Legal, and we have a great show lined up for you tonight! But right now, we're going to take you to the ring for our first match of the night!
“Genie in a Bottle” by Fozzy plays as Paul London and Brian Kendrick run down to the ring to thunderous cheers.
Joey: Well, folks, for weeks people have been asking if London and Kendrick have what it takes to take down Mexico's Most Wanted at Still Barely Legal, and tonight they have a chance to prove what they're made of!
“Pain” plays as Marella and Kozlov make their ways to the ring to sizable boo's.
Joey: Some of the newer viewers might be laughing at this pairing, but Kozlov and Santino are not a team to be made light of! Vladimir Kozlov has put several EPW wrestlers on the shelf before, and if history were to repeat itself tonight, it would, without a doubt, hurt the team of London and Kendrick immensely! They're going to need to try and end this one as quickly as possible to go into the pay per view healthy!
MATCH 1: Paul London and Brian Kendrick VS Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov
London and Santino start this one off, tying up in the center of the ring. Marella gets a few blows in before hip tossing London in the center of the ring. Santino hits the ropes and goes for a running head butt, but London lifts a knee and Santino collides with it. The two get up, Santino holding his head a bit, and tie up again. London locks Santino in a side head lock, Marella goes to reverse it into a back drop... LONDON FLIPS OVER! He hits Santino with a dropkick, following it with a few clubby blows to the lower back, Santino turns around... WOW! London hits him with the dropsault... sending Santino to his corner... oh no! Santino successfully tags in Kozlov. London's on his feet... OW! Vladimir greets him with a running head butt to the chest. Kozlov takes advantage for quite the while, throwing London around like a rag doll. Kozlov picks London up for a scoop slam... UNBELIEVABLE! London reverses that into a huricanrana, London is slowly crawling to his corner... LONDON TAGS IN KENDRICK! Kendrick runs in, guns blazing, hitting Kozlov with a huge dropkick. Santino runs in... but London clothesline's him over the top rope! Kendrick hits a huricanrana on Kozlov, sending him into the corner. Kendrick grabs Kozlov's head, he runs towards the ropes... SLICED BREAD NUMBER 2! 1... 2.... 3! This one's in the books!
WINNERS: Paul London and Brian Kendrick by Pinfall after 8:19
London and Kendrick are celebrating in the center of the ring, to massive cheers. You can tell that London's midsection is hurting pretty bad... but then the screen cuts out into static! The HBO logo flashes with the letters “M J C D B” under it. The words fade out and it fades into the word “Soon...” We go to a commercial break.
When we return, “Oh Primo Rico” is playing. Primo Colon is standing in the center of the ring, to a small smattering of boo's.
Joey: Well, our next match is featuring one of PWC's talents, Primo Colon, and he is going to be facing his brother's opponent at Still Barely Legal.
As Joey says this, “J-Pop Drop” begins to play, as Yoshi Tatsu comes to the ring to a decent amount of applause.
MATCH 2: Primo Colon VS Yoshi Tatsu
The match starts with the two tying up in the center of the ring. Primo hits a drop kick. The two get up, Primo hits another drop kick. The two get up again, and Primo goes for another drop kick, but Tatsu side steps it and hits Primo with a drop kick of his own as Colon is still coming down. The two get up and go back and fourth with arm drags until Primo tries to go for another drop kick, which Tatsu steps away from. Primo gets up, and Tatsu hits Primo with a roaring elbow. Primo gets up, and … DAMN! Yoshi hits him with a strong roundhouse kick. 1... 2... 3, it's done!
WINNER: Yoshi Tatsu by Pinfall after 2:49
Yoshi celebrates in the ring, we go to Joey Styles.
Joey: Well, folks, Yoshi gets a strong win going into his match at Still Barely Legal, but right now, we'd like to take you to last Friday, when the Philadelphia Wrestling Circuit had it's debut show in the same city that we will be hosting Still Barely Legal in, Philadelphia! Let's check it out!
A video airs showing highlights, including Bully Ray squashing Colin Delaney, Hardcore Holly VS Skip Sheffeild, Necro Butcher beating Kenny Dykstra, DH Smith facing Paul Burchill, Team OMEGA beating The Core to win the PWC Tag Titles and Colt Cabana beating Desmond Wolfe to become the PWC Champion. Camera then cuts backstage, where Primo Colon is walking down a hallway, disappointed at his loss. Carlito sneaks up behind him and... CARLITO NAILS PRIMO WITH THE BACK STABBER!!! Carlito gets up, title around his waste and bites into an apple, then SPITS THE APPLE AT HIS OWN BROTHER. He smirks before walking away, and we cut to commercial.
When we return, you can see Maven Huffman standing in an empty arena, center of the ring, staring into the camera.
Maven: Seven weeks ago, I beat Zach Ryder in the center of this very ring. Seven weeks ago, Zach Ryder retaliated by assaulting me after that very match, taking a month away from my life. I couldn't compete, I couldn't sleep due to the amount of pain I was in... a month of my life that I will never be able to get back... and in two weeks, I'm getting even. Zach, if I were you, I'd run back to Long Island, because in Philadelphia in two weeks, I'm going to spill some “Long Island Iced Z” all over this mat!
Cameras then go to Joey Styles.
Joey: Well, like Maven just said, in two weeks Maven will go one on one against Zach Ryder, and he's looking to redeem himself and get even with the “Rough Ryder”. But that's not all that we're going to see (Graphics flash across the screen). We will also see Bryan Danielson go against Jeff Hardy for the EPW title. Hardy has been getting some pretty big wins as of late, and they haven't been in the most honest ways, so one has to wonder if Jeff's cheating ways will be Danielson's downfall. Also, possibly the hottest rivalry in EPW history will culminate at Still Barely Legal, as Rob Van Dam will face off against Shane Douglas in a hardcore match! These men have been itching to get a hold of one another, and when the gloves are off, who can tell what will happen! Plus, after beating the champions several weeks back, Paul London and Brian Kendrick will face Mexico's Most Wanted for their tag titles! Also, Victoria Varon will defend her Woman’s title against Mickie James, Carlito Colon will defend the International title against Yoshi Tatsu, and recently announced on our website, John Morrison will face Homicide and Ayako Hamada will face Gail Kim! But for now, we're going to take you backstage with Christy Hemme.
Christy is standing backstage with RVD.
Christy: Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time, “Mr Monday Night” Rob Van Dam. Rob, you have a match up next against a hand-picked opponent chosen by your opponent at Still Barely Legal, Shane Douglas, and you have no idea who he is! How do you feel going into this match?
Rob: Christy, I could really care less who Shane picked, and it doesn't worry me at all that I don't know who it is. I'm the Whole Fuckin' Show, I've beaten opponents from around the world, and nobody Douglas, or anybody else could pick can hold a candle to me. As far as I'm concerned, it's 4:20, and somebody's gonna get FUCKING SMOKED!
RVD walks away as we cut to a break.
When we return, “Walk” by Pantera is blasting as Van Dam makes his way to the ring to huge cheers. A shot of Shane Douglas backstage is shown, and he's seated in front of a TV set, watching the match. Camera's cut back to the ring, where RVD is awaiting his opponent... and “It's A New Day” by Adelitas Way plays. His opponent tonight is none other then “The Fortunate Son” Ted Dibiase jr, who is being greeted with boo's from the crowd!
MAIN EVENT: Rob Van Dam VS Ted Dibiase Jr
The two start off by tying up in the center of the ring. Ted gets an early advantage with an elbow to the jaw, following it up with a power slam. Ted gets up, goes off the rope, and hits RVD with a fist drop. Dibiase does very well throughout a big chunk of the match, wearing Van Dam down. Dibiase eventually locks in the Million Dollar Dream, and Van Dam begins to go to sleep due to the hold. The ref checks him. 1..... no response.... 2..... no response.... 3.... VAN DAM KEEPS HIS ARM UP!!! Van Dam slowly works his way up to his feet... he stomps Dibiase's toe a few times, DIBIASE LETS GO OF THE HOLD. Dibiase tries to take Van Dam out with a short armed clothesline, but RVD ducks it and kisses Dibiase's jaw with a spinning crescent kick! Van Dam takes a second to regain his bearings as Dibiase slowly gets up. Dibiase goes for a clothesline, but Rob cartwheel's out of the way and hits Dibiase with a one handed bulldog. Van Dam takes the advantage here, until Dibiase hits a spine buster out of nowhere. Van Dam's on the ground, Dibiase goes to the top rope, he holds his fist up, dives for the top rope fist drop.. WOW! Van Dam lifts his foot at just the ring moment and it collides with Dibiase's face! The two slowly get to their feet, Van Dam jumps off the ropes... he hits a springboard leg lariat! Mr Monday Night gets up, hits the ropes... A HUGE ROLLING THUNDER!! Van Dam again gets up, goes to the top rope... 5 STAR FROG SPLASH!!! 1... 2... 3! IT'S ALL OVER!!!
WINNER: Rob Van Dam by Pinfall after 15:08
A shot of Douglas backstage fuming airs. Our final shot of the night is RVD standing on the top rope doing his thumb point pose.
Paul London & Brian Kendrick d. Vladimir Kozlov & Santino Marella
Yoshi Tatsu d. Primo Colon
Rob Van Dam d. Ted Dibiase Jr
ANNOUNCED FOR NEXT WEEK
Colin Delaney VS Zach Ryder
Charlie Haas VS Carlito Colon (Non Title)
John Morrison VS Shocker
Shane Douglas VS An Opponent of Rob Van Dam's Choosing
ANNOUNCED FOR STILL BARELY LEGAL
Bryan Danielson ( C ) VS Jeff Hardy- EPW TITLE
Carlito Colon ( C ) VS Yoshi Tatsu- EPW INTERNATIONAL TITLE
Victoria Varon ( C ) VS Mickie James- EPW WOMANS TITLE
Mexico's Most Wanted ( C ) VS Paul London & Brian Kendrick- EPW TAG TEAM TITLES
Rob Van Dam VS Shane Douglas- HARDCORE MATCH
Maven Huffman VS Zach Ryder
Gail Kim VS Ayako Hamada
John Morrison VS Homicide
The roof is not my child, but I will raise it!