Learning to break kayfabe
Join Date: Feb 2011
Re: Extreme Revival
EPW ON HBO
"Start a War" by Static X plays. This week we are live from Boston, Massachusetts. The crowd is going wild as the camera cuts to Joey Stiles.
Joey: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another edition of EPW on HBO, where we are just three weeks away from our first Pay Per View, Still Barely Legal! We've got a stacked card for you tonight, and a huge main event! Two of the best competitors in the world, Christopher Daniels and Christian, will go one on one. Also, we will see the long awaited contract signing for the Rob Van Dam-Shane Douglas Hardcore match at Still Barely Legal, and you have to wonder if they will be able to keep their hands off one another until the pay per view! Paul Heyman told me earlier that security will be present for the signing, but will that be enough to keep the two from brawling? We'll find out later on tonight, but first, we take you ringside for our first match of the night!
Generic rock music plays as Shocker makes his way to the ring to a slight boo, but generally no response. The rock fades, and "Tattoo" by Big Mother Thruster plays. Maven Huffman makes his grand return to a standing ovation.
Joey: A big reaction for Maven, and rightfully so. Folks, this is Maven's first match back since being assaulted by Zach Ryder several weeks back! The question on everybody's mind, though, is what kind of condition is Maven in? Will he be at 100 percent in time for his match at Still Barely Legal? We just might get our answer tonight!
MATCH 1: Shocker VS Maven Huffman
The match starts with the two tying up in the center of the ring. Shocker hits an arm drag and tries to go for an early Fujiwara arm bar, but Maven rolls out of it. The two go back to a standing position and Shocker hits a huricanrana. Shocker gets up and goes off the ropes, but Maven gets up and hits Shocker with an arm drag. Shocker gets up and Maven hits a few drop kicks before hitting a DDT. Maven takes the advantage, wearing Shocker down. Eventually, Maven backs Shocker into a corner, and props him up on the top rope. Maven climbs up to the middle rope, puts Shocker in a front head lock, he climbs to the top... WOW! HUFFMAN HITS A HALO DDT! 1... 2.... 3!
WINNER: Maven Huffman beats Shocker by pinfall after 4:16
Maven jumps to the middle rope and raises his arms in victory, being showered with cheers and a "Welcome Back" chant.
Joey: Well, there you have it! Maven gets the win on his first match back, and it doesn't look like he's missed a minute of time in the ring! If I were Zach Ryder, I'd be a little bit worried!
When we return, the camera is on a dark and misty dock, with Jeff Hardy staring into the water. Jeff lifts his head and gazes into the camera.
Jeff: A lot of people have been looking at me in disgust the past few weeks. They've said that the only reason why I'm getting victories is because I'm cheating. What I say to those people is that... I'm sorry for you. The mindless sheep who wonder through life abiding by rules just because they are so, the sheeple who have never taken a risk, who sit there in their mediocre lives, to afraid to go out of their way to make something of themselves because they don't want to step on anybody's toes... but not me! I can't be afraid to step on anybodies toes, and I could give a fuck less about the rules. I am the Antichrist of Professional Wrestling for a reason! I could care less about the fans... the rules... the safety of my fellow competitors... the safety of myself, even... because I am better then everybody else. I am an immortal being in that ring. I proved that last week when I obliterated John Morrison, and in three weeks, I'll prove it again when I take the EPW title from Bryan Danielson. The truth will set you free, and the truth is that I will be your next... E... P.... W... Champion!
The camera fades out and fades into the ringside area, where "Angel on my Shoulder" is playing as Velvet Sky makes her way to the ring to scattered boo's. She is being very flirtatious on her way out, as always. Her music fades, and "Seven Nation Army" by the White Stripes plays as Mickie James skips her way to the ring, to pretty big cheers.
MATCH 2: Velvet Sky VS Mickie James
The two tie up in the center of the ring. Velvet pushes Mickie into the ropes, and Mickie springs back and hits Sky with a tornado DDT. She goes for a pin, but it's only a once count. The two get up and Mickie hits Velvet with a huricanrana. Another pin, another one count. Velvet looks shook up after two big moves as the two get up. Mickie looks for a quick finish and goes for the Mick Kick... but Velvet ducks it and responds with a neckbreaker. Velvet has the control here, and she starts to work on Mickie's neck. She eventually locks Mickie into an Octopus stretch, but Mickie grabs the ropes, forcing her to let go. Velvet argues with the ref just long enough for Mickie to get her bearings back. Velvet turns around and runs forward for a clothesline, but Mickie cartwheels out of the way and hits Sky with a monkey flip. The two get up, Velvet whips Mickie into the ropes... but Mickie responds with a Thez press, following it up with a ground-and-pound. The ref forces James off, Velvet springs up, goes for a punch, but Mickie gets out of the way... AND SHE HITS THE MICK KICK!!! 1... 2... 3!
WINNER: Mickie James by Pinfall after 7:49
After having her hand raised in victory, Mickie skips around the ringside area, high-fiving the crowd. We cut to the backstage area, where Christy Hemme is standing with Christopher Daniels.
Christy: Chris, tonight you...
Daniels: Christy, please.... it's Christopher.
Christy: Okay... CHRISTOPHER, tonight you go one on one with Christian, how do you feel going into this match.
Daniels: Christy, you truly underestimate my abilities in the ring if your asking me that question. Now, there's no doubt that I've been compared to Christian a few times, since both of us employ a high-risk style, but what they don't realize is that Christian is the past. He is obsolete at best, and belongs in the junk yard of wrestling's past! Christian is no match for the Fallen Angel, and I will take pleasure in finally sending him to the graveyards. If you'll excuse me, though, I have to make my way to the ring.
Daniels lowers his head and walks away as we cut to a break.
When we return, the screen is static as the HBO logo flashes on the screen, with the letters MJC under it. The logo fades and the word SOON fades in. The scene vanishes, and we go to ringside, where "Disposable Teens" by Marilyn Manson is blasting. Christopher Daniels is making his way to the ring, his head lowered, to a mass of boo's. The music fades, and "Close Your Eyes" by Waterproof Blonde plays. Christian makes his way out, and the peeps are cheering like crazy.
MAIN EVENT: Christopher Daniels VS Christian
The two face off in the center of the ring, and a lot of back and fourth action dominates the opening minutes of the match, until Daniels tilts the match in his favor with an enzugiri-sidewalk slam combination. Daniels takes advantage, focusing on Christian's right arm. Eventually, Daniels tries to lock in a cross face, but Christian wiggles his way out of it, and the two go to a standing position. Another few moments of back-and-fourth, with Christian showing that his arm is hurting, before Daniels gets the advantage again with a running neck breaker. Daniels backs Christian into a corner and hits him with a huge running high knee. Daniels then goes for a springboard moonsault... but Christian lifts up his knee. Daniels is clutching his chest as he leans against the middle rope. Christian jumps up and slingshot's out of the ring, greeting Daniels with a big slap to the face. He rolls back in toward the corner, and Daniels runs at him. Christian slides in between the ropes and hits him with a pendulum kick. Daniels stumbles back, and Christian hits him with an inverted tornado DDT. Christian goes for a pin, but only gets a two count for his troubles. Christian is in the lead for a good little while, until Daniels shocks him by hitting the Angel's Wings out of freaking nowhere! Daniels gets up and runs toward the ropes... OH MY GOD!!! DANIELS HITS THE BEST MOONSAULT EVER PERFECTLY! 1... 2... 3! It's over!
WINNER: Christopher Daniels by Pinfall after 16:28
Daniels is exhausted at the end of this one, but raises his arms in victory, as the fans boo him. Camera's cut backstage, and Paul Heyman is seen coming to the ring with a half-dozen security officials surrounding him.
Joey: Well, this is what we've been waiting for, the contract signing is next!
When we come back, "Start A War" by Static X is playing as Paul Heyman makes his way to the ring, security guards in tow, to a "Paul-E" chant. Paul shakes hands with a few fans before grabbing a mic and heading into the ring, where a table is set up with the contract on it.
Paul: Alright, let's not waste any time here, it's time for the contract signing. I'd first like to ask Rob Van Dam to come to the ring.
"Walk" by Pantera plays as Rob makes his way to the ring in street clothes to a huge ovation! He steps in the ring, nods at Paul and grabs a mic.
Rob: Well... I've waited all week for this... to make this match official! Before I sign this, though, I'd just like to say Shane, you should have never turned on me! In three weeks, when we meet in the middle of the ring, no rules, your going to be stepping in my world, dude! I'm going to be able to use Tables, Ladders, Chairs, Canes and whatever else I can get my hands on to absolutely destroy you! Quite frankly, you fucked up! This show might as well be happening on 4:20, because I am going to fucking smoke your ass!
Rob grabs the contract and signs. Before Paul can announce Douglas, though, "Perfect Strangers" by Deep Purple plays and Douglas makes his way to the ring, mic in hand, to huge boo's. He starts talking as he climbs into the ring.
Shane: "You fucked up, your in my world, I'm going to smoke your ass". Rob, I know you smoke a lot of grass, but do you forget who you're talking to? Your talking to an ECW original! I was swinging chairs and putting people through tables before you hit puberty, you little shit! You think that I'm stepping in YOUR world? That I'm somehow at a disadvantage because there's no rules? I've been in matches so brutal, it would make even Joey Styles wince, it would make Sabu back down, and it would make Terry Funk shit his pants! Rob, I am at no disadvantage in three weeks, but you aren't either! We're going to be on equal grounds! We're going to both be at home at Still Barely Legal, a home with no count outs, no disqualifications, no rules, falls count ever... however, I've been calling this home a lot longer then you have, and at the end of the day, I am a BETTER WRESTLER then you could EVER HOPE TO BE! So, as far as I see it, your the one whose going to get smoked at the Pay Per View, and now.... it's.... official!
Shane grabs the contract and signs it. The two stare each other down, with security at either side of them should they start to brawl. The final shot of the night is Paul holding the contract while the two stare one another down.
Maven Huffman d. Shocker
Mickie James d. Velvet Sky
Christopher Daniels d. Christian
ANNOUNCED FOR NEXT WEEK
Rob Van Dam VS ???- Pick your Poison
ANNOUNCED FOR STILL BARELY LEGAL
Bryan Danielson (C) VS Jeff Hardy- EPW TITLE
Carlito Colon (C) VS Yoshi Tatsu- EPW INTERNATIONAL TITLE
Victoria Varon (C) VS Mickie James- EPW WOMEN'S TITLE
Mexico's Most Wanted (C) VS Paul London & Brian Kendrick- EPW TAG TEAM TITLES
Rob Van Dam VS Shane Douglas- HARDCORE MATCH
Maven Huffman VS Zach Ryder