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Re: Legend Presents: WWE 2006 - Stop Your Grinnin' And Drop Your Linen
ECW One Night Stand II
An ECW-Only Production
Opening video plays, focusing on the Ultimate Jeopardy Main Event between Eric Bischoff’s Team RAW and Terry Funk’s Team ECW.
We then get the gigantic introduction, before we cut to Joey Styles and Shane Douglas, who run down the card.
Kid Kash’s Light Heavyweight Invitational; Non-Title Match:
C.W. Champion ‘The Notorious K.I.D’Kid Kash vs. ‘The New F’N Show’ Jerry Lynn
Kid Kash overpowers the veteran in the beginning but when the two men begin to mat wrestle Jerry Lynn takes the advantage, sending a flustered champion scrambling to the ropes. The next batch of mat work sees Kash take Lynn down with ease and ride the former ECW World Heavyweight Champion exaggeratedly, before nipping back up, bowing, and lying arrogantly across the top turnbuckle with his feet up! The crowd mainly boos, with a small “K.I.D” chant breaking out, as even Jerry Lynn seems impressed. After mockingly applauding The Notorious K.I.D, The New F’N Show offers a handshake, which the smirking Cruiserweight Champion accepts with another exaggerated bow.
The two men exchange holds on their feet, targeting one another’s arm, countering and countering with twists, nip ups, bridges etc., until Kash manages to get Lynn down on the mat, floats over, and drops his leg right across the shoulder joint. KK struts around the ring some more, arguing with the crowd, before waltzing back over to his fallen foe … who quickly kicks him off. Jerry takes Kash over first with a snap arm drag, then a hip toss, before wiping the champion out with a picture perfect standing dropkick, sending him wildly scurrying under the bottom rope to the outside!
The “NEW FUCKIN’ SHOW” chants ring out, as Kash angrily paces around the floor holding his head. He eventually re-enters the ring, giving Jerry Lynn some sarcastic applause, before offering his hand for a handshake, just like the veteran did earlier. Lynn laughs, as Kash snarls at the booing Hammerstein, “I’m a sportsman!” Jerry shakes the reigning champion’s hand and Kash quickly asks for a test of strength, switching his arm around constantly much to the irritation of both his opponent and the fans. The champion finally mans up and offers the test of strength again, which Lynn accepts … but Kash punches him right in the mouth!! The ECW faithful shit all over KK, as he runs around the ring with his arms in the air in celebration, whilst Lynn angrily holds his mouth.
As soon as Kash turns, Jerry unloads on him with right hands, backing him into one corner before shooting him across the ring into another. As soon as Kash bounces out, Lynn grabs him, BRINGING HIM CRASHING OVER WITH THE TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER!! 1 … 2 … NO!! Kash quickly recovers, driving his knee into Lynn’s gut, before trying to pitch him through the ropes … but Jerry counters, pitching the champion through them instead. The Notorious K.I.D lands on the apron, but Lynn spins him back around, looking for a shoulder to the gut … only for Kash to LEAP INTO THE AIR … GOING FOR THE GUILLOTINE LEG DROP … BUT LYNN MOVES … AND KASH CRASHES AND BURNS ON THE RING FRAME!!
Lynn drags Kash around the ringside area, slamming him off the guardrail, before hurling him into a chair at ringside. Kash slumps in the chair in a daze, as Jerry backs off, getting ahead of steam, before charging … SMASHING KASH AGAINST THE GUARDRAIL WITH A RUNNING KNEE!! The crowd pops, and Lynn slaps hands with some of them before throwing the groggy champion back inside the ring. Kash misses an elbow drop as Lynn slides under the bottom rope and the wily veteran quickly takes advantage, pummelling the 2x Cruiserweight Champion. He backs Kash into the corner before going for the Irish Whip … which Kash reverses. Lynn hits the corner but tries to propel himself back over Kash … but the champ catches his legs and throws them over … CROTCHING JERRY LYNN ON THE TOP ROPE!!
Kash hits a Hangman’s Neckbreaker on his challenger, snapping Lynn right off the second rope, before knocking him flying off the apron to the floor with a well aimed baseball slide!! As Lynn tries to stand, a ferocious champion quickly leaps off the apron … wiping The New F’N Show out with an axe handle smash!! Now it’s Kid Kash’s turn to bounce Jerry Lynn off the ringside surfaces, before seating him in the same chair as before. After saying, “I’ll show ya’ll how it’s done”, Kash charges … LOOKING TO USE LYNN’S OWN RUNNING KNEE STRIKE … but he stops just short … and SLAPS JERRY ACROSS THE FACE INSTEAD!!
The crowd boos mercilessly, but KK just laughs and tosses Lynn back inside the ring, going for a cover. 1 … 2 … NO!! Kash targets the neck for a few minutes, before Lynn starts to fight back with right hands. The veteran even BITES KID KASH ON THE FACE, drawing a huge pop from the crowd, as he rakes the champion’s moustachioed features all across the top rope!! Jerry follows this up with a quick body slam and a cover. 1 … 2 … NO!! Kash gets a knee to Lynn’s gut and HURLS HIM OVER WITH A GUTWRENCH SUPLEX!! 1 … 2 … NO!! Kash works over the neck some more, even throttling the challenger on the ropes, followed by a leg drop right across the back of the neck!!
After taunting the crowd for a bit, Kash looks to hit the DEAD LEVEL … but Jerry Lynn manages to block the dreaded Brainbuster, battling Kash back against the ropes. Lynn attempts a suplex of his own … but Kash blocks it and takes Jerry down with a Judo Throw, before quickly SPRINGBOARDING OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE WITH A LIONSAULT … BUT LYNN MOVES … AND KASH LANDS ON HIS FEET!! Jarring his knee slightly, KK stumbles and Lynn grabs him, looking for the CRADLE PILEDRIVER … but Kash back body drops his way out of it!! 1 … 2 … NO!! The Notorious K.I.D quickly applies the reverse chinlock, which he maintains for a while, before Lynn battles out of it. Back to his feet, Jerry turns to hit the ropes … but Kash grabs a handful of his hair, dragging him back, lifting him up … NAILING A BACKBREAKER!! 1 … 2 … NO!!
Setting Lynn up in the centre of the ring, Kash goes up top … and GOES FOR THE DOUBLE JUMP MOONSAULT … BUT JERRY MOVES … AND KASH EATS CANVAS!! Lynn quickly grabs the dazed champion, connecting with an Atomic Drop, following it up with a hard elbow drop down on the canvas!! 1 … 2 … NO!! After being hurled into both turnbuckles consecutively, a groggy Kid Kash stumbles through the ropes, dangling from them by his feet in an extremely perilous position. Jerry Lynn hits the ropes as many times as possible before connecting with a baseball slide that sends KK flying down to the floor!!
Kash stumbles back up to his feet … and LYNN LAUNCHES HIMSELF ONTO HIM WITH A PLANCHA!! The crowd goes wild, as Jerry rolls Kash back inside the ring before going up top. The Cruiserweight Champion quickly cuts him off, grabbing him by the hair and hurling him onto the apron … but Lynn lands on his feet!! Kash quickly goes for a shoulder to the gut … BUT LYNN LEAPS UP … DROPPING HIS LEG RIGHT ACROSS THE BACK OF KASH’S HEAD WITH THE GUILLOTINE LEG DROP!! Kash falls backwards and Jerry LAUNCHES HIMSELF ONTO HIM WITH THE SLINSHOT BODY PRESS!! 1 … 2 … NO!!
Lynn goes for the TKO, but Kash counters, going for a belly-to-back suplex … BUT LYNN COUNTERS WITH A CROSSBODY!! 1 … 2 … NO!! He gets Kash up … TKO!! 1 … 2 … NO!! The challenger goes for the CRADLE PILEDRIVER … but Kash escapes through his legs. Jerry misses the splash in the corner, allowing KK to lay into him, before hitting his own SPLASH right to the back!! As Lynn stumbles out backwards, a smirking Kid Kash quickly runs up the turnbuckle … LAUNCHING HIMSELF RIGHT ONTO JERRY LYNN WITH THE BANK ROLL!! 1 … 2 … NO!! Kash immediately grabs Jerry’s legs, turning him over onto his belly … APPLYING THE KASH ON DELIVERY SUBMISSION!!!
After a long fight … Jerry Lynn still refuses to quit, so Kash kicks away at his spine with some devastating kicks!! Pulling the veteran up, Kash looks for the CRADLE PILEDRIVER ON JERRY LYNN … but the moves creator quickly scurries away to the corner. Kash charges … but catches a back elbow to the face. Leaping up, Lynn takes him over with a sunset flip!! 1 … 2 … NO!! Backslide from Lynn!! 1 … 2 … NO!! Kash slides out and KICKS JERRY LYNN RIGHT IN THE HEAD!! He grabs the challenger … GOING FOR THE BRAINBUSTER … but Lynn lands behind him, pushing him into the corner, falling backwards, looking for the O’Connor Roll … but Kash hangs on to the buckle!! Jerry charges … but Kash quickly swings his legs up and over … CATCHING LYNN WITH THE VICTORY ROLL … BUT JERRY SITS DOWN, HOOKING BOTH LEGS!! 1 … 2 … 3!!!
Winner - Jerry Lynn @ 15:26.
HUGE SHOCK TO KICK OFF THE NIGHT. The Hammerstein cheers loudly for the veteran Jerry Lynn, as Kid Kash sits up with a look of complete shock on his face. John Finnegan helps Lynn up and raises his hand, as the crowd applauds and Kash looks on, still in a state of shock.
Video package plays, hyping up last night’s show from the ECW Arena in the City of Brotherly Love, Philadelphia, PA, WWE vs. ECW, featuring Kurt Angle, The Big Show, Tommy Dreamer, Mr. Money in the Bank Carlito, Triple H, ECW Commissioner Terry Funk and the RAW General Manager Eric Bischoff.
A Rivalry Reborn:
‘The Insane Luchadore’ Super Crazy vs. ‘The Japanese Buzzsaw’ Yoshihiro Tajiri
Tajiri is the aggressor from the get go, abandoning the lock up, and booting Super Crazy in the gut before applying the side headlock. The Insane Luchador quickly tries to throw him off with a back suplex … but the Japanese Buzzsaw lands on his feet. Crazy catches Tajiri with a quick boot to the mid-section, before applying his own side headlock. Tajiri backs him into the ropes, before shoving the Mexican across the ring. Super Crazy flies back … and the two long time rivals smack shoulders in the centre of the ring, neither man giving an inch.
As they glare at one another, the bizarre and awesome Yoshiro Tajiri yells something in Japanese at his opponent, before hitting the ropes himself and connecting with a shoulder block … but neither man budges once again. The loathed enemies go head to head, nose to nose, talking trash in their respective languages … until TAJIRI SLAPS SUPER CRAZY ACROSS THE FACE!! The crowd “OH’s”, and a fired up Crazy gets the point; he turns, runs, hits the ropes and … TAJIRI KICKS HIS FUCKING HEAD OFF!!
The crowd explodes for the first of Tajiri’s infamous kicks. The Japanese Buzzsaw lifts Super Crazy up and positions him on the top turnbuckle facing the crowd, almost as though setting up for a belly to back superplex. Instead, Tajiri pulls Crazy’s head down so that the Mexican is caught perilously in the Tree of Woe. He KICKS at Crazy’s chest and face over and over again, before backing off across the ring, racing ahead … nailing Super Crazy in the head with a vicious baseball slide!!
Tajiri calls to his allies outside the ring, and both Whipwreck and The Sinister Minister immediately understand, throwing a plethora of steel chairs into the ring! As the manic Man from the Rising Sun intimidates the crowd, Super Crazy drags himself up to his knees in the corner. Tajiri walks over and KICKS HIM RIGHT IN THE HEAD AGAIN!! Sickening. Tajiri sets Crazy up in the Tree of Woe again. He sticks one chair against the Mexican’s face and KICKS IT RIGHT BACK!! The crowd “OH’s” some more, but a grinning Tajiri quickly positions a SECOND chair across Crazy’s face, KICKING THEM BOTH INTO HIS SKULL!! After setting a THIRD in position, Tajiri feigns another kick … before walking away instead … and then BASEBALL SLIDING THE CHAIRS RIGHT BACK INTO SUPER CRAZY’S FACE ANYWAY!!!
“OH’s” ring out, as Tajiri gleefully poses and Super Crazy rolls from the ring. The camera closes in, showing us that The Insane Luchador has now been BUSTED WIDE OPEN following the consecutive chair shots!! Tajiri erects a table in the ring, as Mikey Whipwreck tosses Crazy back in. After slamming the Mexican’s bloody head off the table, Tajiri positions him on it in almost a guillotine position, before grabbing three of the steel chair and ascending to the top rope. Holding them like a hangman would a guillotine in the old days, Tajiri … LAUNCHES A CHAIR AT SUPER CRAZY’S NECK … LOOKING TO TAKE HIS DAMN HEAD OFF … BUT CRAZY JUST GETS OUT OF THE WAY IN TIME!! “Ooh’s” and “ahs” sound as the chair smashes off the wood; God knows what would’ve happened had it connected with Super Crazy’s neck as intended. Tajiri frowns … and THROWS ANOTHER CHAIR … CRAZY QUICKLY DIVES OUT OF THE WAY!! A frustrated Tajiri forsakes the third weapon, jumps down … and SHOOT KICKS SUPER CRAZY RIGHT UPSIDE THE HEAD!!
After laying a prone Super Crazy upon the table, an erratic Tajiri quickly heads up top … BEFORE LEAPING OFF … DELIVERING HIS PATENTED DOUBLE STOMP RIGHT THROUGH THE TABLE!!! The “Holy Shit” chants hit the scene, as Tajiri bows, walks over to Crazy’s body -- which looks to be broken in half -- and KICKS HIM IN THE HEAD!! He then waits for The Insane Luchador to make it back up to his knees again … BEFORE DELIVERING ANOTHER KICK TO THE SKULL!! Full of confidence, the Japanese Buzzsaw lifts his opponent up and goes for the Irish (or Japanese) Whip … only for Crazy to reverse it … and BRING TAJIRI CRASHING OVER WITH A TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER!! Super Crazy gets a burst of adrenaline and hits the ropes … CONNECTING WITH A SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT!!
A fired up Super Crazy goes, well, crazy, as he angrily pitches Tajiri first to the floor, and then over the guardrail into the Hammerstein crowd. Both Mikey Whipwreck and the Sinister Minister try to cut the Insane Luchador off, but he manages to fend Tajiri’s allies off with a variety of kicks and chair shots!! After battling them through the masses, Crazy brings memories of last year’s One Night Stand, as he climbs to the balcony above and … MOONSAULTS OFF THE BALCONY DOWN ONTO ALL THREE MEN BELOW!!!
The crowd goes wild, as all four men are laid out!! After a long struggle, Crazy drags Tajiri back through the crowd to the ring, where he proceeds to beat the shit out of the Japanese Buzzsaw. He takes Tajiri to all corners of the ring, getting his famous “UNOS … DOS … TRES … CUATRO … CINCO … SEIS … SIETE … OCHO … NUEVE … DIEZ!” Tajiri is now bleeding from a wound on his face, as Super Crazy sends him into the ropes … and TAJIRI EXPLODES BACK WITH HIS HANDSPRING ELBOW!! But … SUPER CRAZY IS RIGHT BACK ON HIS FEET … LARIAT FROM SUPER CRAZY!!
After another struggle, Super Crazy positions Tajiri seated across the top rope, before going out to the apron and … SPRINGBOARDING BACK IN WITH A SPINNING WHEEL KICK RIGHT TO THE BACK OF TAJIR’S SKULL!! The Japanese Buzzsaw collapses and Crazy makes what is, amazingly, the first cover of the match. 1 … 2 … NO!! Super Crazy attacks Tajiri with a few open hand chops against the ropes … UNTIL TAJIRI SUDDENLY CATCHES HIM … SWINGING OVER THE ROPES … APPLYING THE TARANTULA!!
The crowd loves the old school move, but Tajiri quickly releases, shoving Super Crazy into the ropes, grabbing him from behind in a rear waistlock … and DUMPING HIM ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD WITH A BRIDGING GERMAN SUPLEX!! 1 … 2 … NO!! Tajiri goes for his BRAINBUSTER … but Crazy slides out of it, landing on his feet and going for a GERMAN SUPLEX … but Tajiri lands on HIS feet … AND KICKS SUPER CRAZY IN HALF!!
Crazy falls out of the ring and Tajiri quickly baseball slides him crashing over the guardrail into the crowd!! The Japanese Buzzsaw gets himself set up and … SPRINGBOARDS OFF THE ROPES WITH AN ASAI MOONSAULT INTO THE CROWD … BUT SUPER CRAZY DIVES OUT OF THE WAY … TAJIRI EATS THE STEEL CHAIRS!!! Desperately, The Insane Luchador scurries over the guardrail, climbs onto the apron, leaps up … AND SOARS OVER BACKWARDS WITH A SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT OF HIS OWN … CRASHING INTO TAJIRI IN THE CROWD!!!
As the “Holy Shit” chants ring out, Super Crazy heads back into the ring, bringing a table with him and setting it up in the corner. He turns around … and TAJIRI WIPES HIM OUT WITH A DROPKICK OUT OF NOWHERE!! Tajiri pulls out his own table and sets it up on the opposite side of the ring, before setting Super Crazy up in between them … GOING FOR THE BUZZSAW KICK … BUT CRAZY DUCKS … GETTING TAJIRI UP FOR THE POWERBOMB … BUT TAJIRI SPITS POISON MIST IN HIS EYES!!
Holding onto a blinded Super Crazy’s head, Tajiri uses the first table to PROPEL HIMSELF ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE RING … BUT A BLIND CRAZY LEAPS UP, SPINNING … DRIVING TAJIRI’S HEAD THROUGH THE SECOND TABLE WITH THE FLIP-OVER DDT … FALLING ON TOP!!! 1 … 2 … 3!!!
Winner - Super Crazy via pin fall @ 12:34.
After the contest, Super Crazy poses in the ring, as Mikey Whipwreck and Mitchell watch unhappily from ringside. Crazy smiles to the hard camera, his vengeance complete.
ECW video package plays, showcasing some of the most memorable moments from the company’s illustrious past.
Special Showcase Match; Non-Title:
U.S Chmp.Rey Misterio, Jr.vs.‘The Shooter’Dean Malenko
After a quick sporting handshake, we get right to it. The two men jostle for position centre of the ring, with Malenko getting a quick takedown and immediately going after the arm. ‘The Shooter’ tosses Mysterio into the corner and charges in … only to get a foot in the face, knocking him away … followed by a HEADSCISSOR TAKEDOWN FROM REY!! On fire, the U.S Champion sends Malenko into the ropes, before going for the arm drag … which The Iceman counters … but Rey-Rey counters, swinging all the way around and taking Malenko off his feet with the arm drag!! Malenko quickly gets out of the ring, as Mysterio hits the ropes, performing his usual 619 taunt to a very mixed reaction!!
After a short walk. Malenko re-enters the ring and catches Mysterio with a kick to the gut. He goes for the suplex, but Rey lands on his feet … ducks the clothesline … and SPRINGBOARDS BACK OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE WITH THE MOONSAULT … BUT DEAN CATCHES HIM!! Rey quickly slides off and shoves the Shooter into the corner, leaping up, looking for a hurricanrana … turning it into a sunset flip, but Malenkodoesn’t go down, instead driving his fist down at Rey … who moves … and Malenko nails the canvas! As The Iceman reels, Mysterio leaps up, SPRINGBOARDING OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE WITH A DROPKICK TO MALENKO!! The former Radical bounces right back up in a daze, as Rey-Rey hurries out onto the apron … and SCORES WITH A SECOND SPRINGBOARD DROPKICJ, THIS TIME OFF THE TOP ROPE!! 1 … 2 … NO!!
Rey comes off the ropes once more … but Malenko tries to turn it into a wheelbarrow suplex … Rey tries to counter mid-move … but Malenko throws him off!! 1 … 2 … NO!! Dean tries a Powerbomb … but Mysterio counters into an arm drag! He ducks underneath Malenko’s wild clothesline and hits the ropes at speed … RIGHT INTO A TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER!! The crowd pops for The Shooter, as he picks Rey back up, HURLING HIM OVER WITH AN ARM-TRAP SUPLEX!! 1 … 2 … NO!!
Malenko applies the reverse surfboard submission down on the mat for a while, until Mysterio manages to his way back up to his feet. He fires off with some right hand, but Malenko manages to send him into the ropes … and LAUNCHES HIM INTO THE AIR … LETTING REY LAND HARD ON HIS FRONT!! The methodical technician picks Rey-Rey up again, butterflying the arms and EXECUTING A PERFECT DOUBLE UNDERHOOK POWERBOMB!! 1 … 2 … NO!! Malenko turns it right into the Camel Clutch though, doing more damage to Mysterio’s back!! Failing to get Rey to submit, The Man of 1,000 Holds picks him up and sends him into the ropes … BUT MYSTERIO SURPRISES HIM WITH A QUICK ROLL UP!! 1 … 2 … NO!!
Malenko quickly picks Rey back up, dropping him rib-first right across the top rope, SENDING HIM TUMBLING TO THE FLOOR!! Mysterio manages to make it back into the ring … but only for The Shooter to cinch in yet another submission, a rear chinlock this time … followed by a body scissors!! Mysterio manages to make it to the ropes, and a slightly frustrated Malenko pitches him out to the floor. The rabid ECW fans chant “MALENKO”, but The Iceman’s demeanour remains unchanged. He lifts Rey up … EXECUTING A BRAINBUSTER ON THE FLOOR!!
Really taking his time, Malenko gets Mysterio back into the ring, hits him with a body slam and goes for another cover. 1 … 2 … NO!! Dean looks for a Pumphandle this time … BUT REY TURNS IT INTO A CROSSBODY!! 1 … 2 … NO!! Malenko shoves Mysterio into the ropes, dropping down onto his front, and then leap frogging over the U.S Champion … GOING FOR A POWERBOMB … BUT REY CATCHES HIM WITH A HURRICANRANA … TAKING MALENKO OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR!! Mysterio then SPRINGBOARDS OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE WITH AN ASAI MOONSAULT RIGHT ONTO THE SHOOTER!!!
After a few “Holy Shit” chants, the two men struggle back up, with Rey going right back on the offensive. He gets Malenko back in the ring, climbs to the top and … CONNECTS WITH A DIVING HURRICANRANA FROM THE TOP ROPE!! 1 … 2 … NO!! Mysterio leaps up, HITTING A SPRINGBOARD, SPLIT-LEGGED MOONSAULT TO THE SHOOTER!! 1 … 2 … NO!! Looking to put the former multiple-time Cruiserweight Champion away, Rey heads up top … only for Malenko to cut him off with a right hand. The Iceman follows the U.S Champion to the top turnbuckle, gets Rey up onto his shoulders and … LEAPS OFF … BRINGING MYSTERIO CRASHING DOWN ACROSS HIS KNEE WITH THE FIREMAN’S CARRY GUTBUSTER!!! 1 … 2 … NO!! Rey SOMEHOW survives the devastating manoeuvre.
After a quick frown, the stoic veteran lifts Mysterio back up and sends him into the buckle hard … catching him as he bounces back with AN OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY THROW!! 1 … 2 … NO!! Malenko doesn’t look too happy (does he ever?) but he perseveres. He sends Rey-Rey into the ropes once more, scooping him up and over as though going for another TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER … BUT MYSTERIO COUNTERS IN MID AIR … TURNING IT INTO A HURRICANRANA … BRINGING MALENKO OVER AND GRABBING BOTH LEGS TIGHT!!! 1 … 2 … 3!!!
Winner - Rey Mysterio via pin fall @ 10:58.
The crowd isn’t too pleased by the result, but the Hammerstein faithful show their respect for the two outstanding athletes, who, in turn, show their respect for them. Mysterio and Malenko shake hands and embrace warmly, before raising one another’s arm into the air.
A video package plays hyping up the next WWE PPV, Raw’s Vengeance on June 24th, featuring the WWE Title Match - The Big Show defending against the man he took the title from in the first place, Kurt Angle.
Commentators Joey Styles and Tazz begin to hype the two main events, including the first ever WWE World Title match in history to be held at an ECW show, when Edge defends against Lance Storm ... unfortunately for Styles & Tazz they don’t get the chance to finish ... as they are cut off by an all too familiar voice from up in the rafters. The crowd boos like crazy, as the camera quickly pans up to show us the source of the voice, revealing none other, dressed in a dress shirt and jeans, than ‘The Heartbreak Kid’ Shawn Michaels.
Never one to mince his words, HBK gets on the cases of the ECW fans straight away, labelling them as disgraces to the wrestling business for the way they demand blood and guts and death-defying stunts from their performers, or else they’ll shit all over them. Ignoring the plethora of derogatory chants hurled in his direction, Michaels asserts that all of ECW’s claims to be “hardcore” are a fabrication anyway. He says that while the backyard wrestlers of ECW were jumping through tables and bashing one another over the head with trashcan’s, he, HBK, was revolutionizing the Ladder Match and taking part in the single most violent match of all time, Hell in a Cell.
Moving on, the former WWE & World Heavyweight Champion states that if it wasn’t for his injury not only would he have performed tonight, not only would he have taken great pleasure in showing all of these drunk mommas boys what a real wrestler looks like, but he would have done it as part of Eric Bischoff’s Team RAW. HBK finishes by wishing RAW good luck in the main event later, before telling the ECW fans to “kiss my ass.”
Another vignette plays, hyping up the release of the book chronicling the messy history of Extreme Championship Wrestling, ‘The Rise and Fall of ECW’, on sale in bookstores tomorrow. Once it ends, we’re informed that the ECW wrestlers paid for the ad.
World Heavyweight Championship Match:
‘The Rated R Superstar’ Edge defends against Lance Storm
As their various teammates, girlfriends etc. watch on from ringside, the two Canadians engage in some serious mat wrestling in the beginning of the match, with Edge showing us that he isn’t just about gimmick matches, he can mix it on the canvas with the best of ‘em. Both men target arms, with Storm getting the best of the predicament when they make it back to their feet, snapping off a quick arm drag and going right back to work. The two men go hold-for-hold on their feet too, with the veteran Storm impressing with a variety of flips to escape, eventually taking Edge down with a dropkick, sending the World Heavyweight Champion scurrying for safety on the outside of the ring.
Huge chants of “You’ve Still Got It” for Storm, as a pissed off Edge takes his sweet time outside the ring. Edge wins the test of strength in the ring, but Lance performs an impressive bridge, before taking The Rated R Superstar with a monkey flip. Edge angrily catches Storm with a knee to the gut, before slugging him in the head. The champion sends the former multi-time tag team champion into the far corner … but Storm propels himself back over the onrushing Edge … before ducking a clothesline … SPRINGING UP TO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE … FLYING BACKWARDS … only for Edge to catch him, looking like he’s going for a German suplex … but Storm tries to swing out of it, forcing Edge to slam the veteran down to the canvas and follow it up with a hard elbow drop!!
Edge quickly boots Storm in the head. 1 … 2 … NO!! The World Heavyweight Champion controls his fellow Canadian with fists, elbows, chops etc., whilst Storm tries valiantly to fight back. After raking Lance’s eyes, Edge pounds on the former U.S Champion some more, before snapmaring him down to the mat and going for a unique cover. 1 … 2 … NO!! Edge immediately locks in a head scissors, using his entire 6” 5 frame to his advantage … until Storm rolls him backwards, pinning his shoulders to the canvas. 1 … 2 … NO!! Quickly escaping, Edge jumps back to his feet and KICKS Storm right in the face with a thunderous big boot that knocks him into the ropes … before KNOCKING HIM FLAT ON HIS BACK WITH A SECOND!! 1 … 2 … NO!! Angrily, Edge pitches Storm to the outside.
As Edge distracts the official, Lita, Albright, and McCool close in on the Calgary native, looking in to get in a few cheap shots … but Credible, Jason, and Dawn Marie come charging around to prevent any cheap shots. Annoyed, Edge goes for the baseball slide on Storm … but the Impact Player neatly side steps him, lighting Edge’s chest up with some ferocious chops, before sending him crashing shoulder first into the guardrail!! After a head butt, Strom tries it again … but The Rated R Superstar manages to reverse it … hurling Storm into the rail this time!! As Storm falls into the crowd, Edge erects a chair against the barrier, backs off, turns, takes a run … STEPS OFF THE CHAIR … LAUNCHING HIMSELF OVER THE GUARDRAIL RIGHT INTO LANCE STORM AND THE CROWD WITH A SPEAR!!!
As the crowd chants “Holy Shit”, Edge manages, somehow, to get Storm back into the ring. 1 … 2 … NO!! Edge applies the front chancery down on the canvas, continuing the damage to Storm’s neck, quickly transitioning it into a reverse chinlock. After a while, Storm manages to battle back up to his feet and the two opponents trade right hands and hard chops, which the veteran gets the better of with a SIDE RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP!! He takes Edge off his feet with a few clotheslines, before WIPING HIM OUT WITH A HUGE LEG LARIAT!! 1 … 2 … NO!! Storm sends Edge into the corner and charges … only for the Toronto native to elevate him up and over onto the apron. Edge goes for a right hand, but Storm blocks and punches the champion away … before SPRINGBOARDING OFF THE TOP ROPE … WIPING EDGE OUT WITH THE FLYING CLOTHESLINE!! 1 … 2 … NO!!
Storm picks Edge up and goes for the Irish Whip … but the World Heavyweight Champion reverses it, sending Lance into the ropes. Edge lowers his head, looking for the back body drop … but Storm kicks him right in the mouth!! The veteran quickly comes off the ropes … BUT GETS CUT IN HALF BY A SPEAR!!! 1 … 2 … THR- NO!! A furious Edge slams Storm into the far corner, hits him with a running forearm, before lifting him up for a POWERBOMB … but Storm drops down, catching Edge with a single-leg … GOING FOR THE CANADIAN MAPLE LEAF!! Edge quickly kicks Storm away into the ropes, but the veteran comes right back with another flurry of right hands. Storm turns and comes off the ropes … BUT EDGE SUDDENLY HITS THE ADJACENT ROPES … ANNIHILATING STORM WITH A SECOND SPEAR!!! 1 … 2 … THRE- NO!!
The crowd roars, whilst a frantic Edge tears at his hair. He drags Storm up, hammering and slapping away at the veteran … until Storm suddenly shoves Edge away … and GOES FOR THE SUPERKICK … but Edge ducks … and THROWS A LARIAT … Storm ducks … SUPERKICK CONNECTS RIGHT ON THE BUTTON!! 1 … 2 … TH- NO!! Storm gets Edge back up and lays into him some more, before turning and hitting the ropes … but Edge cuts him off with a BIG BOOT!! Edge comes off the ropes … BUT STORM CATCHES HIS LEG … ROLLING THROUGH … INTO THE CANADIAN MAPLE LEAF!!!
After a long, long, LONG struggle … Edge finally makes it to the ropes, to an outpouring of boos from the Hammerstein faithful!! Lita helps her man out onto the apron to recover, but Storm is quickly on him … only for Edge to drive his shoulder into the mid-section of the Calgary veteran … and HURL HIM FACE FIRST INTO THE TOP OF THE STEEL RING POST!! The crowd “ooh’s” and “ahs” as Storm staggers away clutching his head, and Edge quickly heads up to the top rope. Storm manages to cut him off with a right though, following the champion up … lifting him up … BEFORE BRINGING LANCE STORM CRASHING BACK DOWN WITH THE POWER-PLEX!!! 1 … 2 … THR- NO!!
A disappointed Storm hurries up top again … LEAPING OFF WITH THE FROG SPLASH … NOBODY HOME!! Edge quickly hits the ropes one more time … RIPPING STORM IN HALF WITH THE THIRD SPEAR OF THE MATCH!!! 1 … 2 … THRE- NO!! Lance Storm STILL somehow survives. A raging Edge gets himself set in the far corner, waggling his fingers in front of his face, just waiting for the veteran to get back to his feet. Storm stands … and turns … EDGE UNCOILS WITH A FOURTH SPEAR … TURNING LANCE STORM INSIDE OUT!!! 1 … 2 … 3!!!
WINNER - AND STILL WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION - EDGE @ 16:41.
The Hammerstein Ballroom doesn’t like the result one bit, but Edge couldn’t care less about what anyone thinks at the moment, throwing his hands in the air, beaten and exhausted, surviving this battle with Lance Storm here tonight. Soon enough, both Lita and the World Champion head to the backstage area, with Edge holding his belt to him closely. Storm gets up inside the ring, assisted by his Impact Player teammates, all of whom commiserate him. The crowd stands and applauds for the effort shown by the Canadian veteran, who thanks them for their support. As he slowly exits the ring, the “Thank You, Lance” chants can be heard pervading every inch of the building.
A video package plays hyping up SmackDown’s next PPV, the Great American Bash on July 22nd.
Split screen of Team RAW and Team ECW, both sets of men in their locker rooms, with Bischoff’s boys looking relaxed and confident, while Funk rallies his crew like only he can, getting them all worked up ... except Triple H, who remains seated.
Video package plays on the Ultimate Jeopardy Match, revolving around Bischoff’s war on ECW, RVD’s subsequent banishment, Big Show’s capturing the WWE Title, Awesome’s betrayal, Dreamer’s rise, and the all-consuming feud between Angle and Hunter.
As we return to ringside, the crowd is at fever pitch, as the Ultimate Jeopardy cage is now in place, with a few stagehands making a few last minute adjustments. Stephen DeAngelis waits on the outside.
Ladies and gentlemen, t is now time … for ULTIMATE JEOPARDY!!
~ HUGE pop from the crowd, who’ve been waiting all night for this.
The rules for this match are as follows… (reads off paper) Each team will start with one combatant in the ring for the first five minutes. Each period after this will be three minutes. A coin flip will determine which team gets the advantage. The next segment will see the winners of the coin flip get the advantage. After three minutes the other team will add a member also. This will continue until all five members of each team have entered the cage. The match can only end after all ten men and all five members of each team have entered the cage. At this point … the first pin fall or submission wins the match for his respective team.
~ A smattering of applause. Get on with it, DeAngelis.
Right now I would like to welcome the man who will be in the corner of Team RAW… (the boos begin) and the man who will flip the coin for his team to determine who gets the initial advantage. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome … JERRY ‘THE KING’ LAWLERRRR!!!
***GREAT GATES OF KIEV***
Some truly THUNDEROUS boos grips the Hammerstein Ballroom, quite easily the loudest of the night thus far, as ECW’s arch-nemesis for so many years, JERRY ‘THE KING’ LAWLER steps into the arena, dressed in his usual royal regalia, crown and all, shit-eating grin plastered across his smug, self-satisfied face.
And there he is, ladies and gentlemen … the “King”, as he likes to call himself. I’ll you what, Shane Douglas, is it just me or does it look like Lawler has been enjoying retirement a little too much?
He eats anymore twinkies, Joey Styles, he’s gonna end up looking just like this other famous “king” I know from Memphis.
King sidles up to the cage, where he waits alongside DeAngelis and the two referees, pointing and laughing at several members of the audience, ignoring the loud “Fuck You Lawler” chant and trash being hurled in his direction.
And representing Team ECW…
~ The cheers begin, as King puts his hands over his mouth, feigning fear as he mocks the crowd.
Ladies and gentlemen … THIS … IS … TAAAAZ!!!
***SURVIVE IF I LET YOU***
An absolutely MONSTROUS ovation rips through the building, as, dressed in a baseball jersey with the familiar towel draped over his head, TAZ comes stomping through the smoke down to where a now slightly less confident King is waiting.
He is a former TWO-TIME ECW World Heavyweight Champion … he is The Human Suplex Machine … and he is the most miserable man on the planet – and it doesn’t look as though spending the past five years sat next to Michael Cole has improved his mood!!
Not at all, Joey Styles. If anything, he looks more pissed off than ever. Jerry Lawler better run.
Taz sidles up to DeAngelis and The King, with Lawler doing his upmost to appear brave from behind the ring announcer. As his music fades, Taz angrily tears the towel from his head and looks right at King with a look that could kill.
~ Quickly putting his hand over the microphone … The King actually has the audacity to cut the announcer off, drawing another shitstorm of heat from the crowd. As a furious Taz looks on, Lawler, with a huge grin plastered across his fat face, takes the mic out of DeAngelis’ hands and turns to the audience.
~ “FUCK HIM UP, TAAAAZ, FUCK HIM UP! FUCK HIM UP TAAAAZ, FUCK HIM UP!”
Oh… oh… HA-HA!! Thanks for proving my point!! You bunch … of illiterate … MORONS!!
~ More thunderous heat greets this, as Taz bristles.
Y’know… coming back here all these years later … it gives me a chance to take another look at this place. Maybe I was wrong back in ’97 … maybe I was a little quick to judge…
~ “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAP*
So I’ve done the right thing … and looked at this place again with an open mind…
~ Taz stares a hold through The King.
…AND IT STILL STINKS OF SHIT!!!
~ OH!; the crowd isn’t even the first to react, as TAZ LUNGES FOR LAWLER IMMEDIATELY, AND HAS TO BE RESTRAINED BY THE SECURITY SURROUNDING THEM!
King is laughing his ass off, pointing at Taz and hurling all kinds of abuse at him. Though he can’t get to Lawler, Taz angrily snatches the mic off the ground.
Hey, Lawler!! How’s it feel to be made unemployed … because a guy from ECW … took your job!?
~ The crowd cheers, as we get a brief shot of Joey Styles on camera at the announce position.
And I’ll tell you somethin’ else … nobody came here tonight to hear you run your fat mouth like this some bikini contest on RAW in 1999 … if we want any lip from you … we’ll scrape it off Bischoff’s DICK!!
~ OH!; the crowd ROARS with approval, as The King’s eyes open wide with rage.
You better pray that these assholes… (angrily shoving his finger in security’s faces) stay out here … ‘cause I’m about three seconds from chokin’ you out!! Let’s do this!
~ Tazz slams the mic back into the chest of a rather startled DeAngelis, but he carried on anyway.
Ladies and gentlemen, earlier tonight there was a mutual agreement among the teams and it was decided that representing ECW would be Taz and he will call the coin toss on behalf of ECW, while Jerry Lawler will call on behalf of Monday Night RAW.
~ Referee John Finnegan holds the coin ready, as both Taz and The King look on nervously. Finnegan points to Lawler, saying, “You call it.” The official tosses the coin into the air and King screams, “HEADS!” It lands and Finnegan shows it to both men … sending The King into a bitch fit!
It’s tails!! ECW has won the coin toss and the advantage!!
~ The crowd explodes into more cheers, as Taz pumps his fist, and Lawler angrily complains, grabbing Finnegan by the collar and demanding he redo the toss. In the lull, as everyone from ECW celebrates, the security momentarily backs off…
…AND TAZ SUDDENLY GRABS THE KING IN THE TAZZMISSION!
The crowd goes NUTS, as Taz chokes the life out of Lawler, with security unable to pry his arms away from the neck of the corpulent king!
Taz has choked out The King!! Taz has just choked out RAW’s cornerman!!
It doesn’t look like he’s gonna be giving much guidance tonight!!
Lawler is down!! ECW have won the coin toss!! Who—
True to his word, the captain of Team ECW, KURT ANGLE, is the first man to enter the cage, getting a great response from the Hammerstein faithful, just like last night, as he storms down the aisle like a rabid madman, even slapping hands with Taz on his way to the ring, where he steps inside the cage without fear.
Ladies and gentlemen … entering number one … representing ECW … KURT ANGLE!!!
Angle spins on the spot, receiving another great ovation from the Hammerstein faithful, before removing his gold medals and handing them through the cage door for safekeeping.
Kurt Angle showed his true colours one month ago when he joined Terry Funk’s ECW team! Since then he’s defended its honour like a man, doing everything he can to make amends for his actions at this same event just one year ago. And look at this, leading by example, entering number one for his team and for the ECW fans!!
Gotta respect that, Joey Styles. Kurt Angle is one tough sunnuva bitch, and you’ve gotta think that with guys like Taz and Terry Funk not physically able to defend this place anymore … The Wrestling Machine— wait, lemme scratch that … The EXTREME Wrestling Machine is one HELL of a replacement.
HUGE heat fills the arena, and Joey Styles makes a plethora of inappropriate comments, as the two-time former ECW World Heavyweight Champion and two-time ECW traitor MIKE AWESOME starts things off for Eric Bischoff’s team.
Entering number one for RAW … MIKE AWESOME!!!
Awesome is in no hurry to enter the cage, rather preoccupied as he is with the baying fans at ringside, whom he intimidates mercilessly, getting right in their faces and yelling at them.
Ugh!! Would you take a look at this piece of crap!! A former two-time ECW World Heavyweight Champion, and he’s… he’s starting the match for Team RAW!! This is disgusting!! He’s a two-time ECW TRAITOR, that’s what he is, Franchise!!
You’re not gonna get any argument here, Joey Styles. Mike Awesome disgraced both the World Title and the company I worked so hard to build. Makes me sick. I hope Kurt Angle kicks his F’N head in here tonight.
10-Man Ultimate Jeopardy Match
1st EVER WWE/ECW Ultimate Jeopardy Match: Two Men begin, with another entrant five minutes later, and another every three minutes thereafter
Team RAW (Big Show, Carlito, Masters, Awesome, and A Mystery Partner) Vs Team ECW (Angle, Dreamer, Sandman, Tanaka, and HHH)
The most anticipated match on the card by a long way gets off to a slow start, as Mike Awesome frustrates a foaming-at-the-mouth Kurt Angle by taking his sweet time to enter the cage. After jawing with the fans for a few minutes, Awesome quickly charges into the structure, managing to catch the Olympic Gold Medallist by surprise, beating him down in the corner!! The muscular former ECW World Heavyweight Champion lays into Angle in the corner before shooting him off into the ropes. Kurt hangs on and Awesome charges … only to back dropped INTO THE CAGE!! The New York City crowd roars for Angle, as The Wrestling Machine lifts Awesome back up and HURLS HIM THROUGH THE FLIMSY CAGE DOOR TO THE OUTSIDE!! The ECW crowd gets exactly what they wanted: an up close and personal view of the action, courtesy of Kurt ‘F’N’ Angle!! Grabbing one of the many weapons strewn around ringside -- a trash can -- Angle waits for Awesome to make it back up and CRUSHES IT OVER HIS SKULL!!
With the crowd loving every second of this, the former WWE Champion slaps hands with a few front row members, pounding his chest furiously, before grabbing a steel chair!! Awesome staggers back up and GETS DRILLED IN THE GUT!! Another blow sends him staggering over the guardrail and into the laps of the rapid ECW faithful!! Angle stands the chair up against the guardrail, reaches over, drags a woozy Awesome back up, drills him with a European Uppercut, knocking a few paces backwards, before turning and walking away. As Awesome stands in the crowd, Angle races forward, stepping up on to the chair, and LAUNCHING HIMSELF OVER THE GUARDRAIL … INTO THE CROWD … ONTO MIKE AWESOME!!!
“HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” Kurt Angle endears himself to the Hammerstein Ballroom masses even more with an uncharacteristic, suicidal manoeuvre that wipes his opponent out. He touches fists with a few fans, who also lay into Awesome with some rather tasteless remarks: “You fucking suck, Awesome” and “You’re a fucking ...” to name a few. Angle tosses Awesome back over the guardrail to the arena floor and goes for the Irish Whip … only for the big hoss to reverse it and HURL ANGLE INTO THE SIDE OF THE CAGE!! With this reprieve, Awesome quickly rolls Angle back through the cage door into the ring, before giving himself a few moments to recover from the beating.
Awesome once more lays into the Olympian in the corner, yelling at the fans to “Shut up!” constantly, as they chant “You Sold Out!” over and over. He goes for the whip across the ring, but Angle reverses it, sending Awesome into the far corner. Angle charges … right into a boot to the face! Angle staggers and a confident Awesome races after him … BUT RUNS RIGHT INTO A BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX!! Back in the driver’s seat, Angle tosses Awesome into the corner, mounts him, and begins to rain down the punches as the vociferous crowd chants along!! After Awesome falls out of the corner in a vain effort to escape the beating, Angle follows, grabs him by the hair and HURLS HIM HEAD FIRST INTO THE CAGE!! After calling for a chair someone in the crowd tosses one into the ring and Angle SMASHES IT OVER AWESOME’S BACK!! He proceeds to stomp the shit out of Awesome savagely … until the former ECW World Heavyweight Champion catches his boot! Awesome shows great strength as he hangs onto Angle’s foot, makes it back to his feet, and LARIATS ANGLE’S HEAD OFF!! He then grabs the former WWE Champion and SLAMS HIM INTO THE STEEL CAGE AS THE COUNT BEGINS!!
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***MAN IN A BOX***
ENTRANT #3 - TOMMY DREAMER
The crowd roars as ‘The Innovator of Violence’ himself TOMMY DREAMER limps charges down to the ring with his usual trash can filled with weapons.
Once again (having made a swift exit upon Dreamer’s arrival) Mike Awesome hides at ringside, refusing to get in the cage with his former ECW workmate. Dreamer pumps his fist to the “TOMMY” chants, hurling a range of profanities at Awesome, until the turncoat has finally heard enough and steps through the door back into the cage. He charges, only to beaten back by the fiery Dreamer, who lays into Awesome with right hands, before shooting him into the ropes and TAKING HIS HEAD OFF WITH A TRASH CAN ON THE WAY BACK!! The crowd roars, but Tommy isn’t done. He waits for a semi-conscious Awesome to stagger around, and kicks him in the gut, DROPPING HIM HEAD FIRST ON THE CHAIR WITH THE DREAMER-DT!! If pin falls counted at this point Awesome would probably be done. Fortunately for him, they don’t, so he isn’t. Dreamer goes for another Irish Whip, but Awesome is able to duck under it, driving his knee right into Tommy’s abdomen. He hammers on Dreamer in one corner, before spying Angle climbing to his feet in another and racing across to put the boots to him!! Awesome returns to Dreamer, stomping away on the hardcore veteran, before going for the Irish Whip once more … but Tommy quickly reverses it … sending Awesome flying into Angle … WHO SUPLEXES HIM OVERHEAD RIGHT INTO THE TURNBUCKLE!!!
Folded like an accordion, Awesome lies in a heap on the canvas, as Angle and Dreamer high-five, and the “EC-DUB” chants fill the Hammerstein. Picking the traitor up, both men send him into the ropes, before running right through him with a wicked double clothesline!! Awesome goes down in a heap, as Angle and Dreamer, upon hearing the count begin, turn to face Team RAW’s next entrant.
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ENTRANT #4 - CARLITO
Boos fill the Hammerstein Ballroom, as Mr. Money in the Bank CARLITO enters the arena slowly, looking far from pleased by his current predicament.
As the crowd gets on his case, the predictably vocal Caribbean youngster makes it his business to get in the face of as many fans as possible, whilst Kurt Angle and Tommy Dreamer wait, menacingly, inside the steel cage. After taking a bite from him apple, Carlito tears off his t-shirt and slides into the ring … where he is instantly met by a flurry of strikes from Dreamer and Angle!! As CCC tries to cover up, his assailants back him into the ropes, before going for the Irish Whip … which he manages to duck out of … AND SPITS APPLE IN THE BOTH THE FACES OF ANGLE AND DREAMER!!
The crowd boos the holy hell out ‘Lito for his usual bullshit tactics, as he grins and proceeds to beat on the blinded pair of Dreamer and Angle. After helping Awesome back to his feet, Carly and he have a high-five of their own, before going to town on the two members of Team ECW. With Angle down, Dreamer gets isolated, and a particularly obnoxious Carlito even rips off his ‘ECW’ bandanna, rubs it on his crotch, and tosses it over the cage into the crowd!! Thunderous heat greets this, as ‘Lito laughs his ass off, and drags Dreamer up, holding him in place … as Awesome SMASHES A STEEL CHAIR OVER HIS SKULL!!! Dreamer’s eyes roll up into his head as he crumples down to the mat, and Carly dances around the ring like a jackass, while Awesome just paces like an absolute beast.
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***KING OF KINGS***
ENTRANT #5 - TRIPLE H
A big mixed reaction, actually leaning towards heat, greets the arrival of ‘The Game’ TRIPLE H, who, sledgehammer in hand, initially races down to the ring, but pauses momentarily, confused by the response he’s getting.
Sliding straight into the ring, Triple H levels Mike Awesome with a big right hand before doing the exact same thing to Carlito!! The Game goes back and forth between Bischoff’s two cronies with that big taped fist of his, knocking them down over and over again!! The crowd though, remains extremely split on the presence of the Cerebral Assassin, about 70-30 in favour of the haters in fact, with a few “You Fucked Steph” and “You Suck Dick” chants really audible to Hunter’s ears. He shakes it off though and grabs Carlito again … only for the Caribbean superstar to quickly reach up and rake the eyes of The King of Kings!! ‘Lito hammers away on Helmsley before delivering a few more shots to Kurt Angle on the other side and then going for the Irish Whip on Trips. Hunter manages to reverse it … sending Carlito right into a European Uppercut from Angle … BACK INTO A DOUBLE A SPINEBUSTER FROM TRIPLE H!!!
The crowd actually pops at this display of teamwork from the two bitter rivals, as they brush past one another, the fire of competition in their eyes. Angle boots Awesome in the corner before whipping him across the ring. Hunter follows in with a big clothesline, crushing the former ECW World Heavyweight Champion in the corner … before throwing him, back-first, into Angle … WHO LAUNCHES AWESOME OVER WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX!!!
Another pop from the crowd at this awesome cohesiveness, as Angle roars and goes back to pummelling Carlito in the corner. Helmsley grabs Awesome, races forward and HURLS HIM FACE-FIRST INTO THE STEEL CAGE!! Across the ring, Angle whips Carlito into the far corner and races in … only for Mr. Money in the Bank to catch the Olympic Gold Medallist in the face with a boot … before springing up to the second turnbuckle with a hold on Angle’s head … UNTIL TRIPLE H CREAMS CARLITO OVER THE HEAD WITH A VIOLENT CHAIR SHOT!!! Carlito crumples … and Angle springs up to the top rope … BRINGING CCC CRASHING DOWN FROM THE TOP ROPE WITH A SUPER BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX!!!
The crowd explodes at the carnage, as ‘Lito looks completely out of it. Now with his sledgehammer in one hand, Helmsley checks on Angle, even helping The Wrestling Machine back up to his feet. Angle nods as Hunter motions to him to bring the straps down, saying, “Angle Slam time, baby.” With an evil grin Angle tears his straps down and ROARS into the night, just begging Carlito to get back up to his feet … BUT TRIPLE H SUDDENLY GRABS HIS ARM … HE SPINS ANGLE AROUND … AND SMASHES THE SLEDGEHAMMER INTO KURT ANGLE’S SKULL!!!
TRIPLE H HAS JUST BETRAYED ECW!!!
The crowd ERUPTS into heat, as Angle goes down in a heap and a furious Game proceeds to WHALE AWAY ON ANGLE’S SURGICALLY REPAIRED NECK WITH THE DAMN HAMMER!! From the entrance, TERRY FUNK appears with a host of other ECW officials, trying to get them into the cage to stop Helmsley!! As the door is flung open and the referee’s rush inside, The Game isn’t even paying attention, as he delivers a few boots to Carlito too, before going back after Angle, as the arbitrary count begins.
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ENTRANT #6 - CHRIS MASTERS
Is anyone even paying attention? It’s doubtful at this point, as ‘The Masterpiece’ CHRIS MASTERS shoves his way past Funk et al. to enter the cage.
Masters begins to hammer away on the only member of Team ECW still somewhat relevant, that being Tommy Dreamer, as the plethora of medics, officials, referee’s etc. tend to Kurt Angle, trying to get him out of the cage. Triple H, meanwhile, has ascended the cage and sits, perched, atop the 15ft structure … smiling. The Game gazes down at the carnage he’s left in the ring below him, as Angle is helped through the door and placed on a gurney. Cups, hats and various other items are hurled in Hunter’s direction, as he FLIPS OFF THE ECW CROWD, before yelling, “WHO SUCKS DICK NOW, ASSHOLES!?”
As Angle is wheeled away, Triple H climbs down from the cage to the floor outside … where he is confronted by a furious Terry Funk. Funk asks, “What the hell was that!?” but an arrogant, disrespectful Game simply smirks, answering, “ECW … and you … can kiss my ass,” before PIE FACING TERRY FUNK!!! Another explosion of heat fills the arena, as Funk stumbles backwards, and Triple H quickly disappears to the back to avoid any repercussions.
As the cacophony disappears to the back there is still the tiny little matter of a now rather dire 3-on-1 situation inside the steel cage, as Masters and Awesome fling poor Tommy Dreamer upside down, tying him up in the very move he made famous, the Tree of Woe. Masters shoves one of the trash cans in front of Dreamer’s face, while, right across the ring, Carlito climbs to the top rope. ‘Lito makes it to the top, holding onto the side of the cage for extra balance, as the ECW faithful wait with baited breath. Looking from Dreamer out to the fans, Carly says, “Anything RVD can do, Carlito can do better.” Carlito then LEAPS ACROSS THE RING … GOING COAST TO COAST … DROPKICKING THE TRASHCAN RIGHT BACK IN DREAMER’S FACE!!!
Another thunderous “Holy Shit” chants erupts throughout the Hammerstein, showing their appreciation for Carlito’s incredible athleticism. The Caribbean superstar struts around the ring arrogantly, while Masters and Awesome do much the same, flexing and just acting downright intimidating. As Dreamer rolls over, his face pushed right up against the steel grating, the camera gives a nice shot of his face, which has been BUSTED OPEN TERRIBLY!! This disgusting sight sends the crowd into a frenzy as the clock begins counting down one more.
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ENTRANT #7 - MASATO TANAKA
Another great roar sounds as Japanese stalwart MASATO TANAKA, the arch-nemesis of Mike Awesome, sprints down from the back.
Immediately into the cage, Tanaka slugs Masters hard in the gut before teeing off on both Awesome and Carlito too!! The crowd chants for the veteran as he goes nuts, hitting everything in sight, even sending ‘Lito crashing into a trashcan knees first … before wiping him out with a lariat!! Before Tanaka can turn though … Mike Awesome grabs him … DUMPING TANAKA RIGHT ON HIS HEAD WITH A SICK GERMAN SUPLEX … BUT TANAKA GETS RIGHT BACK UP … HE GRABS AWESOME … AND SUPLEXES AWESOME RIGHT ON HIS HEAD!!! As the crowd goes wild, Tanaka’s flurry isn’t over, as he races across the ring and lands a dropkick on Chris Masters in the corner, catching him right on the mouth!!
Tanaka pumps his fist to the crowd, before he helps Dreamer back to his feet. Holding Mike Awesome in place, Tanaka allows Dreamer to tee off on the former ECW World Heavyweight Champion … UNTIL CARLITO LAUNCHES A TRASHCAN INTO THE SIDE OF HIS HEAD!! Cries ring out through the building as Dreamer crumples, and ‘Lito quickly dives onto Tanaka, pounding away on the Japanese superstar!! Masters, meanwhile, gets himself a steel chair and grinds it down into Tommy Dreamer’s throat!! Carlito joins him, and the two buddies double team the helpless Dreamer, while Awesome and Tanaka renew their epic rivalry across the ring. Tanaka goes for a Piledriver on Awesome, but the big man trips him down … AND CATAPULTS TANAKA FACE FIRST INTO THE CAGE!! Tanaka goes down in a heap, as Awesome, Carlito and Masters all grin, turning expectantly to the stage…
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***CRANK IT UP***
ENTRANT #8 - THE BIG SHOW
With Paul Bearer at his side, the WWE Champion THE BIG SHOW makes his arrival in the match to a less than warm response from the Hammerstein faithful.
The largest man in the match enters the cage by stepping over the top rope … and is met by precisely NO opposition. All of Team ECW is down. Big Show moves around the ring in his usual methodical manner, STEPPING ON DREAMER, putting his entire 500lb weight across the man’s chest, before doing it again!! Tanaka tries to take the WWE Champion out with a trashcan shot … but it has absolutely no effect on the giant, who just swats Tanaka away with the back of his hand … right into a CHAIR SHOT FROM CARLITO!! ‘Lito and Masters continue to beat on Tanaka, as Big Show grabs hold of Tommy Dreamer … applying the Cobra Clutch … RIGHT INTO A BACKBREAKER … BEFORE HURLING THE MAN ACROSS THE RING LIKE A RAG DOLL!!
The Raw superstars are well and truly in command now, as Mike Awesome just saunters across the ring and drops an elbow across Dreamer’s chest, really getting under the skin of the crowd. Big Show grabs hold of Tanaka … MILITARY PRESSING HIM OVERHEAD … BEFORE LAWN DARTING HIM INTO THE CAGE FACE FIRST!!!
As Tanaka goes down, folded in half like an accordion, Carlito et al. take turns putting the hurtin’ on Tommy Dreamer with a series of mocking, extremely disrespectful slaps, having a hell of a time, as the crowd begins the countdown…
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ENTRANT #9 - THE SANDMAN
A THUNDEROUS cheer goes up through the arena, as THE SANDMAN heads for the ring from the crowd, beer and Singapore Cane in hand, cigarette in mouth.
Sandman storms into the cage like a house of fire … NAILING CHRIS MASTERS RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES WITH THE SINGAPORE CANE!! Mike Awesome then walks right into a Cane shot … AS DOES CARLITO … AS DOES THE WWE CHAMPION THE BIG SHOW!! SANDMAN’S GOIN’ CRAZY HERE!! Big Show doesn’t go down though, so The Sandman follows the dazed giant around the ring, SMACKING the cane over every inch of his 7ft frame!! Paul Bearer tosses a chair in to his man to try and help, but as soon as he raises it … SANDMAN CANES IT RIGHT BACK IN HIS FACE!! He then turns and canes Chris Masters once more for good measure … until CARLITO MANAGES TO BLINDSIDE HIM!! Sandman drops the cane and ‘Lito grabs it … BREAKING IT OVER THE SANDMAN’S SKULL!!!
The crowd doesn’t like this one bit, as Carlito tosses the remnants of the cane to them and goes back to work on its former owner, along with Mike Awesome. Chris Masters continues to beat on the bloody Tommy Dreamer in another corner, whilst The Big Show uses Paul Bearer’s own enormous belt to choke the life out of poor Masato Tanaka!! They swap over a few time too, with Mike Awesome coming over to beat on Dreamer for a bit, and Big Show having some fun with The Sandman, bending him in half like an action figure!! As the carnage continues an all too familiar voice rings out through the building…
IS THIS ALL YOU’VE GOT!?
An outpouring of truly THUNDEROUS greets the speaker, as ERIC BISCHOFF comes swaggering down the ramp, microphone tucked under his arm, mockingly applauding the ECW faithful with his usual cheese eating grin. Carlito and Masters give their boss a thumbs up, while Big Show and Awesome both nod in his direction…
What? What’s the matter? No “ECW” chant? No “You Suck Dick” chant? Don’t tell me you assholes have finally grown up!? Next thing you’ll be telling me you’ve moved out of your mother’s basement and have an actual girlfriend!!
Cue a “You Suck Dick” chant from the crowd, who don’t quite understand what Bischoff is saying to them. Raw’s General Manager cackles maniacally at their stupidity.
I didn’t think so! Now, ladies and gentlemen -- and I use such a term loosely in New York City -- I am out here to personally introduce to you the fifth and final member of Team RAW. This is a man whose draft back to Monday Night’s I personally oversaw. Why? Because this man embodies everything that true wrestling is … and everything that this place isn’t! He is Raw’s very own crown prince as far as I’m concerned. You idiots in ECW wanna’ call yourselves legends!? That’s fine … BECAUSE I’VE GOT MY VERY OWN LEGEND … KILLER!!!
The crowd goes insane with heat as Bischoff slowly turns, casting his arm toward the stage.
ECW … GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES … FOR RAAAANDY ORRRRTTONNN!!!!
***BURN IN MY LIGHT***
ENTRANT #10 - RANDY ORTON
THUNDEROUS boos rain down as ‘The Legend Killer’ RANDY ORTON steps out onto the stage, flanked by security to keep the masses from touching him. Dressed in his wrestling attire for the first time since WrestleMania, Orton shakes hands with an extremely smug Bischoff, before entering the cage.
Smirking somewhat psychotically, Orton swaggers right over to the helpless Sandman, who’s caught up in the ropes, grabbing hold of the veteran’s head, dragging him out slightly … BEFORE DRIVING HIM FACE FIRST INTO THE STEEL CHAIR BELOW WITH AN ELEVATED DDT!! The heat is off the charts, as grinning Legend Killer poses arrogantly over the broken frame of Sandman, before picking him back up. Following orders, Chris Masters sets a stands a chair up alongside Orton, as the youngest World Heavyweight Champion in WWE history lifts Sandman up onto his shoulder WITH A GUTWRENCH … BEFORE DROPPING HIM RIGHT DOWN THROUGH THE CHAIR WITH THE NECKBREAKER!!!
The fans are in dismay at the sight of The Hardcore Icon’s destruction, while Orton hurries across to the opposite side of the ring, where Tommy Dreamer this time is trying to use the ropes to pull himself up. Grabbing the Innovator of Violence’s head … Orton DRILLS IT DOWN INTO THE CANVAS WITH ANOTHER ELEVATED DDT!! Dreamer goes down in a heap as Orton and the rest of Team RAW continue to systematically pick apart their ECW counterparts under the watchful gaze of Bischoff at ringside. As they cross one another in the ring, Carlito purposefully bumps shoulders with Orton, who glares at the Caribbean superstar. ‘Lito smirks, “Crown Prince, huh?” Orton responds with a snarl, as he goes over to choke Tommy Dreamer in the corner, while Big Show strides around the cage like a great warrior.
Masters flexes and jiggles his pecks much to the annoyance of the crowd, and Carlito drags Dreamer up, holding him in place for Orton, who, after glaring at CCC … SMASHES A CHAIR OVER DREAMER’S HEAD!! Big Show then HURLS THE SANDMAN ACROSS THE RING WITH A FEROCIOUS BEAL … DROPPING HIM THROUGH A PILE OF STEEL CHAIRS!!! On another side of the ring Mike Awesome continues to hammer away on a now BLOODY Masato Tanaka, who tries valiantly to fight back.
In the centre of the ring, Orton holds Dreamer in place this time, as Carlito chops away at his chest. After a few blows … Dreamer moves … and Carlito ACCIDENTALLY CHOPS ORTON!! Randy immediately gets in the face of Mr. Money in the Bank, tossing Dreamer down, yelling, “What the hell was that, huh!?” Shaking his head, as disrespectful ‘Lito actually PIE-FACES RANDY ORTON!! “Ooh’s” go through the crowd as they try to add fuel to the fires of dissent. Orton and Carlito go head to head, shoving and slapping one another, clearly not on the same wavelength, as Masters does his best to try and calm them both down…
The Hammerstein BLOWS THE FUCKING ROOF with one of the largest ovations in recent history … as SABU steps out on to the stage!! Dressed in his usual wrestling gear, with an ‘ECW’ t-shirt on top, and carrying a steel chair in his hand, a fiery Sabu points to the sky, before approaching the cage. With Bill Alfonso at his side, ‘The Homicidal, Suicidal, Genocidal, Death-Defying Maniac’ gives the terrified Eric Bischoff and King a hard look at ringside … before Taz tears open the door AND SABU ENTERS THE CAGE!!
ENTRANT #??? - SABU
“SABU! SABU! SABU! SABU!” All of the Raw wrestlers inside the cage stand around with aghast looks on their faces, except for The Big Show … who actually looks quite impressed. Orton, obviously pissed at being upstaged by The Houdini of Hardcore, is the first to step forward, yelling at Sabu to “C’MON!” Carlito tries to get Orton to back off, but the petulant Legend Killer turns to Mr. Money in the Bank, telling him to “FUCK OFF!” Sabu shrugs at the crowd … BEFORE LAUNCHING THE CHAIR RIGHT INTO ORTON’S FACE AS HE TURNS AROUND!!!
The crowd ROARS as Sabu assaults the Raw superstars, laying out Mike Awesome, Chris Masters, and Carlito too … until Big Show comes up from behind … CONNECTING WITH A HEAD BUTT!! Sabu staggers back into the corner and Big Show CHARGES … BUT SABU THROWS A CHAIR … SHOW CATCHES IT … VAN DAMINATOR TO THE BIG SHOW!!! As soon as the WWE Champion hits the deck … TOMMY DREAMER FLIES OFF THE TOP ROPE … CRASHING ONTO HIM WITH THE BARBED WIRE BASEBALL BAT!!! HOOKING THE LEG, HE MAKES THE FIRST COVER OF THE MATCH!! 1 … 2 … NO!!
Big Show somehow survives, with Sabu holding his hands up in shock, while, meanwhile, on the other side of the ring, Sandman bashes Randy Orton’s brains in with a trashcan!! Sabu grabs hold of Orton, motioning at his other teammates to follow suit … and proceeds to GRATE ORTON’S HANDSOME FEATURES ACROSS THE STEEL MESH!! The Legend Killer cries out in pain, but there isn’t anything he can do, as Sandman, Dreamer and Tanaka all do the same thing … RAKING THE FACES OF EVERY SINGLE MEMBER OF TEAM RAW OVER THE METAL UNTIL THEY ARE ALL NOTHING BUT BLOODY MESSES!!!
Tanaka grabs hold of his great rival, Mike Awesome, and leaps off the top rope … DRIVING AWESOME’S SKULL DOWN INTO A CHAIR WITH A TORNADO DDT!!! Dreamer beats The Big Show all around the ring with the barbed wire baseball bat; the WWE Champion terrified of the gruesome weapon!! Lifting Carlito up onto one shoulder, Tanaka races forward … AND LAUNCHES ‘LITO INTO THE CAGE WITH A POWERBOMB!!!
The Sandman sticks a trashcan over Masters’ head before CANING IT!! With Orton down in the middle of the ring, Sabu sticks a chair across his chest, before leaping up onto the ropes, flipping … and CRASHING DOWN ACROSS THE CHAIR AND ORTON’S CHEST WITH THE LEG DROP!! The “SABU” chants are thunderous, as the man himself rolls around in agony for a few moments before finding his adrenaline once more and beating on Big Show with a trashcan lid!! Across the ring, up the turnbuckle, Sandman has poor Chris Masters set up with the Singapore Cane positioned across his throat, whilst down in the ring Tanaka lifts Orton up onto his shoulders. SANDMAN LEAPS OFF … LANDING ON TANAKA, WHO CONNECTS WITH THE DEATH VALLEY DRIVER ON ORTON … AS SANDMAN LANDS WITH A MESSY WHITE RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP ON MASTERS!!! COVER!! 1 … 2 … CARLITO BREAKS IT UP!!
While Big Show beats on Sabu on one side of the ring, Dreamer does the same thing to Mike Awesome on the other side. Carlito helps Orton back up to his feet and the two bloodied and battered men try to catch a breather … not noticing Sandman climbing to the top rope alongside them. He LEAPS OFF … BUT ORTON COUNTERS IT INTO A MID-AIR RKO!!!! He tries to crawl over for the cover … BUT SABU VICIOUSLY CRACKS HIM OVER THE HEAD WITH A TRASHCAN OUT OF NOWHERE!!
As Orton crumples down to the mat, Dreamer muscles an unsuspecting Chris Masters up onto his shoulders and DROPS HIM NECK-FIRST RIGHT ONTO A FOLDED STEEL CHAIR WITH THE DREAMER DRIVER!!! He’s unable to go for the cover though, as Carlito chases him off with the barbed wire baseball bat!! As Awesome and Tanaka continue to go at it in one corner, Sabu throws Orton into another, sticks a folding chair in front of him, backs away, before CHARGING … CONNECTING WITH AIR SABU ONTO ORTON AND THE CHAIRS!!!
Carlito quickly comes up behind The Crazed Kamikaze, grabbing him by the hair, whilst Big Show does much the same to Tommy Dreamer. ‘Lito goes for a Back Stabber on Sabu, but ‘Bu easily blocks it, swinging behind the Caribbean superstar … and GERMAN SUPLEXING HIM RIGHT THROUGH A FOLDED STEEL CHAIR!!! At that moment Tanaka CRASHES DOWN ONTO MASTERS WITH A FROG SPLASH FROM THE TOP ROPE!!! 1 … 2 … NO!! Masters shows great spirit to survive there.
Sabu continues to annihilate Orton in all corners of the ring, whilst Big Show digs away at the cut in Tommy Dreamer’s head with part of a broken Singapore Cane!! Racing ahead, SABU PITCHES ORTON INTO THE CAGE … before cutting off The Big Show again!! Amazingly enough, with all the carnage going on in the ring, a rather desperate looking Carlito BEGINS TO CLIMB TO THE TOP OF THE CAGE!! Tanaka gives chase up after ‘Lito, as Masters lays Dreamer out in the ring below, and Mike Awesome shows his incredible agility, scaling right up after both Carly and Tanaka!! After a shot from Awesome TANAKA TUMBLES BACK DOWN TO THE CANVAS!! Awesome though, makes it all the way to the top of the structure … and LEAPS OFF … FALLING 15FT DOWN ONTO MASATO TANAKA WITH A TRULY AWESOME SPLASH!!!!
Springboarding backwards off the ropes, Sabu crashes into both Masters and Dreamer with a wild crossbody, as Carlito continues to climb!! After finally making it to the top of the enormous cell, ‘Lito steadies himself, holding onto the nearby stanchion and gazing out into the booing masses … BEFORE MOONSAULTING OFF … CRASHING DOWN ONTO BIG SHOW, DREAMER, SABU, ORTON AND SANDMAN!!!!
The “Holy Shit” chants ring out around the arena as the wrestlers lie in an enormous heap in the ring below. Back up to his feet first, Carlito drags Sabu away and covers him!! 1 … 2 … DREAMER BREAKS IT UP!! Dreamer stacks Carly up … before DRILLING HIM WITH A PILEDRIVER RIGHT THROUGH THE CHAIR!!! HE COVERS!! 1 … 2 … BIG SHOW SAVES THE MATCH FOR HIS TEAM!! Grabbing Tommy by the throat, the WWE Champion signals for the Chokeslam on a couple of erected chairs behind him … only for Dreamer to land on his feet … AND TRY TO LIFT THE BIG SHOW … to no avail. Big Show clubs Dreamer back down, before going for the Chokeslam once again … but here comes Sabu … both he and Dreamer grab Big Show … LIFTING THE 500LBER INTO THE AIR … SLAMMING HIM THROUGH THE CHAIRS!!! Dreamer falls on top!! 1 … 2 … NO!!
Sabu and Dreamer gaze around breathlessly, as Masato Tanaka pulverises Randy Orton in the corner and Sandman beats on Chris Masters. As Dreamer and ‘Bu look on … Big Show ambushes them both from behind, having recovered ALREADY!! After TOSSING SABU INTO THE CAGE, Big Show calls something to Paul Bearer at ringside and the maniacal manager quickly goes under the ring … pulling out … A BARBED WIRE BOARD!!!
The crowd roars, as Bearer passes it through the cage door to his giant, who props it up in the corner. Setting Dreamer on the top turnbuckle, the WWE Champion climbs up after him, wrapping his hand around his throat … GOING FOR THE CHOKESLAM FROM THE TOP THROUGH THE BARBED WIRE BOARD … but Dreamer blocks it, hanging onto the top rope with all his might, gritting his teeth through all the blood and the pain!! Dreamer nails Big Show with a big right hand … followed by another … and another … and another … BEFORE SUDDENLY GRABBING THE BIG SHOW’S HEAD … BRINGING HIM CRASHING DOWN FROM THE TOP ROPE WITH THE DREAMER-DT THROUGH THE BARNED WIRE TABLE!!!!
Another THUNDEROUS outpouring of “Holy Shit” chants begin, as both Big Show and Tommy Dreamer have seemingly been taken out of this match!! Sandman tosses Chris Masters to the middle of the ring, before going back after Randy Orton in the far corner, keeping him down!! Sabu staggers up to Masters, going for a Spinning Heel Kick … only for The Masterpiece to duck … and APPLY THE MASTERLOCK!! Before Masters can fully lock his fingers, Sabu quickly DRIVES HIM BACKWARDS INTO THE CAGE!! As Masters crumples in the corner, Sabu grabs a chair off the mat, races forwards … leaps up … and SPRINGBOARDS OFF THE ROPES WITH A TRIPLE MOONSAULT RIGHT ONTO MASTERS AND THE CHAIR!!!
Masters is out of it. Sabu drags the muscular youngster out to the centre of the ring before turning and ascending to the top rope … and THEN TO THE TOP OF THE CAGE ITSELF!! The crowd roars as Sabu scurries to the top, perching on high, hanging off the stanchion as Carlito did earlier. He is about to perform his customary sky point … when Chris Masters SPRINGS BACK UP TO HIS FEET AND BEGINS TO CLIMB AFTER SABU!! ‘Bu tries to kick The Masterpiece back down, but Masters is persistent, clubbing away at Sabu’s lower limbs from below, as the other wrestlers in the cage either continue fighting or lie unconscious. Masters applies the front facelock on Sabu … GOING FOR THE SUPERPLEX FROM THE TOP OF THE CAGE … but Sabu blocks it, slugging ‘Piece in the gut with some right hands, before showing his incredible leg extension, KICKING THE MASTERPIECE RIGHT IN THE HEAD … AND MASTERS FALLS 15FT ALL THE WAY DOWN FROM THE TOP OF THE CAGE!!!!
Hanging onto the stanchion, Sabu pulls himself up to his feet, gazing all around the arena breathlessly, before pointing up at the sky … SABU FLIES FROM THE TOP OF THE CAGE … SLAMMING DOWN ONTO CHRIS MASTERS WITH THE ARABIAN FACEBUSTER!!!! The crowd EXPLODES, as Sabu rolls around in agony on the floor for a while clutching his hamstring … before finally crawling over and MAKING THE COVER!!
WINNERS -- TEAM ECW via pinfall @ 40:36.
ROB VAN DAM IS BACK IN THE WWE!!! TERRY FUNK HAS TAKEN OVER MONDAY NIGHT RAW!!! AND ERIC BISCHOFF … IS … GONE!!! The crowd ERUPTS into the LOUDEST ovation of the night, as Sabu falls back on his knees slowly, eyes closes, arms raised in the air in triumph. Bischoff makes a swift exit from the ringside area to avoid any fallout, whilst a delighted Terry Funk celebrates with the fans. All around the ring different expressions begin to form on the faces of those involved in the war; the misery of Team RAW; the joy of Team ECW.
Various officials from RAW assist the losing team from the ring, with Chris Masters, Mike Awesome, and the WWE Champion himself, The Big Show, in particular need of attention. Carlito, bloodied and battered, staggers to the back with his Money in the Bank briefcase in his arms, grimacing with pain and yelling at the crowd to “Shut Up.” Right behind him though, a grim Randy Orton takes his time leaving the arena following an unsuccessful comeback.
As the bloody yet victorious members of Team ECW climb the four turnbuckles pumping their fists jubilantly at the sound of the “EC-DUB” chants echoing around the building, an applauding Funk enters the ring, eager to join his comrades, holding a microphone in his hand.
Guys? Hey, fellas? Could I- could you just come down here for a second?
~ Seeing the wrestling legend in the ring beckoning to them, all four surviving members of Team ECW climb down and limp over to Raw’s new commissioner.
Well … well I guess first thing’s first. I think I speak for everyone in this building here tonight and all of the loyal ECW fans watching around the world when I say … thank you.
~ The crowd ERUPTS, chanting “THANK YOU” to all of the smiling wrestlers, who shakes hands with Funk and embrace him warmly, whilst saluting their fans. Sabu, however, hangs well back.
Thank you, Tommy Dreamer … Thank you, Masato Tanaka … Thank you, Sandman … and thank you … Sabu!! Thank you for giving ECW -- this great, GREAT company -- a new lease of life … thank you for standing up for what we all believe in … and THANK YOU for getting that greased-nosed piece of WCW TRASH Eric Bischoff out of wrestling for good!!
~ More thunderous cheers, as well as a few “Fuck You Bischoff” chants.
Ha-ha, my sentiments exactly. Now … now I don’t want to bring the mood down, but if we could just talk business for a minute? (Turning to Sandman and Tanaka) Fellas, once again, thank you from the bottom of my heart, I appreciate everything you’ve done tonight … but if you wouldn’t mind, there’s something I need to say to these two gentlemen.
~ Funk motions towards the door with a smile on his face, and, somewhat reluctantly, both Masato Tanaka and The Sandman make their exits from the cage. As they pass him, Funk says, “Go have a beer on me, guys.” The two soldiers head back up the aisle, slapping hands with the fans, leaving Funk alone inside the cage with Dreamer, Sabu and Fonzie.
Tommy … Tommy … now I know they call you the Innovator of Violence -- with good reason, let me tell you -- but after tonight … after everything you’ve been through these past few months -- the broken neck, the bloodshed, all of it -- you stayed with us. After all of the horrors you’ve seen …you stuck by ECW as my second-in-command. You always had my back, Tommy … and I hope you always will. Thank you, Tommy Dreamer … thank you.
~ The “TOMMY” chants ring out around the arena as the crimson masked Dreamer shares a long hug with his friend and mentor Funk, and Sabu watches applauds. After a while they part, and Funk turns to Sabu.
And as for you, Sabu … what can I say? I guess I owe you … the greatest debt of all.
~Sabu remains impassive as usual, as the crowd chants his name.
I almost counted you out there for a second, Sabu. I thought you were going to abandon your ECW brothers … but I… I should have known better!! I knew you’d step up when ECW needed you most, Sabu … and, boy, did we ever need you tonight!!
~ “SABU! SABU! SABU! SABU! SABU! SABU! SABU!”
Now that you have saved the soul and spirit of ECW, Sabu … now that you are here in the WWE … I think that you, above all people, deserve one hell of a reward … and as Raw’s new SOLE Commissioner … I am the man to do it.
~ The crowd pops as Sabu rubs his hair excitedly (for him), whilst Fonzie goes nuts around him with his whistle.
(Reaching into the bag)
It is my great honour … and privilege to present to YOU, Sabu … the NEW … ECW … World … Heavyweight … Championship!!
~ Funk pulls the out the traditional ECW World Title belt to an ENORMOUS pop from the fans, and hands it to Fonzie, for him to place around the stoic Sabu’s waist. Fonzie leans in.
SABU’S BACK, BAY-BAY!!
~ Funk nods eagerly.
It… it doesn’t have to stop there, Sabu.
~ Sabu turns away momentarily, running his hands through his hair with trepidation, exchanging looks with the manic Bill Alfonso. They quickly turn back, with Fonzie yelling into the mic.
Hey, Funker … if you wanna do somethin’ for Sabu … then how’s about you make sure that The Game has to bring his gutless behind back to face the new ECW Champ, SA - BU??
~ More booming cheers for the first wish, as Sabu turns to the crowd, who chant, “Fuck Him Up” about the treacherous Game.
NOBODY can hang with Sabu, baby!!
~ Another HUGE pop, as Funk nods.
You want a match with Triple H? I can’t say I blame you after what that traitorous little sunnuva bitch did tonight. I’ll make sure that match happens as soon as possible.
~ Fonzie grins sadistically, as Sabu nods, obviously anticipating what he’s going to do to Hunter when he gets his hands on him. Fonzie approaches the mic once more.
I tell ya what … Sabu doesn’t even care if the title’s on the line, daddy!! Sabu’s gonna defend the ECW World Title every night if he has to, baby, ‘cause that’s the way he rolls, yeah!!
~ Another pop, as Funk nods.
Terry Funk, you just line ‘em up, ‘cause Sabu is gonna knock ‘em right back down!! He ain’t just homicidal anymore, he ain’t just suicidal anymore, he ain’t just genocidal, or death-defyin, baby … Sabu’s the THREE-TIME ECW World Heavyweight Champion, and he’s gonna make that title EVEN BIGGER than the WWE Title, daddy-o!!
~ A THUNDEROUS pop from the Hammerstein for the agreement … but Sabu turns away again with his hands on his head, struggling greatly with the occasion. He gazes around at the crowd, all of whom chant “RVD” at the top of their lungs, shaking the very building, with Fonzie blowing his whistle in time with them like a lunatic. Sabu nods his head decisively, and Fonzie turns around, grabs the mic, and speaks.
Sabu’s the ECW World Heavyweight Champion, baby, but he came back for somethin’ else, and I think you know what we’re talkin’ about, Funker!!
~ Funk raises an eyebrow.
It’s time to bring back ‘MR. MONDAY NIGHT’ ROB VAN DAM, BAY-BAY!!
~ A truly EPIC pop greets this final wish, with Fonzie dancing around like a mad man, and the “RVD” chants ringing out from all sides. Sabu looks intensely into the eyes of Funk, who brings the mic back up.
Sabu… Sabu… you are absolutely right. One of the stipulations for this match was, should ECW’s team win … then Rob Van Dam would be reinstated … by Eric Bischoff.
~ There are a few confused boos, as Fonzie says, “What are you saying?”
Look, I- I appreciate everything you’ve done for this company … and done for me personally … but I’m… (laughs) you must be out of your MIND if you think I am reinstating that sunnuva BITCH!!
~ TREMENDOUS heat, drawing a thoroughly irritated glance from the Commissioner, whilst Sabu holds his hands up in dismay, before Fonzie angrily grabs the stick again.
C’mon, Funker!! Be a man like Sabu and live up to your end of the deal!! Sabu just saved ECW, daddy, now it’s time to give ‘im what he’s owed … and he wants Mr. Monday Night BACK IN BUSINESS!!
~ Terry tries to smile, but it so forced it’s bordering on the ridiculous.
I would… I would like to say that it is nothing personal -- and when it comes to Rob Van Dam that is true -- but when it comes to me … and YOU, Sabu … it is nothing BUT personal!
~ Sabu squints angrily.
You’re sayin’ you won’t bring Mr. Monday Night back ‘cause Sabu smoked your ass in a barbed wire match eight years ago, Funker?
~ OH!; Funk grimaces; that really struck a nerve.
Well… (forces a laugh) well, aren’t you quite the little detective, Mr. Alfonso. Is it really so hard to believe? Did I come back simply to save a… a BINGO HALL company like ECW … or did I come back to FINALLY get my revenge on YOU, Sabu … after almost a decade of living in SHAME??
~ More boos, as Fonzie angrily whistles at Funk. Sabu scowls.
You really are the STUPIDEST man I ever met, Sabu!! Terry Funk doesn’t forget the people who cause him pain … and when you RIPPED my flesh through that barbed wire almost ten years ago … you caused me more pain than ANYBODY!! TEN YEARS I’ve waited for this moment … and now I’m finally going to get it!!
~ Funk takes a decisive step towards the very dangerous looking Sabu, with Fonzie trying to keep the two men apart, as the crowd gasps and boos at the Commissioner’s words.
What do you think this cage is supposed to—
HEY, FUNKER!! I think you better keep it quiet, ‘cause Sabu is all fired up, daddy, and you don’t wanna mess with Sabu when he’s like this!!
~ Funk shakes his head vigorously, eyes blazing, trying to ignore the cheers of the crowd.
I’M NOT AFRAID OF THAT LITTLE YELLOW … BUG-EYED … JERK!! I’M NOT AFRAID OF ANYONE!!
~ Sabu’s eyes open wide at the insult, as the crowd boos ravenously, and Funk begins to look more and more unhinged. He sticks his finger right in Sabu’s face.
Now … I am not an evil man … so, Sabu … do you have any last words before I rip your tongue out of your throat forever??
~ Sabu nods, thinking for a moment … BEFORE PUNCHING TERRY FUNK RIGHT IN THE FACE!!
The crowd “OHs” loudly, as the Commissioner’s head snaps around, almost in a look of shock, whilst the intense Sabu that these ECW fans know and love so well stares away. Funk holds the side of his face that Sabu struck, before whirling around wildly, looking as though he is about to retaliate with his hand raised … but he stops. Funk instead nods his head…
…and TOMMY DREAMER BREAKS HIS CRUTCH OVER SABU’S HEAD!!!
The crowd goes NUTS as soon as Dreamer strikes, clubbing away at Sabu from behind!! Dreamer reaches down … AND RIPS OFF THE CAST ON HIS FOOT!! HE WASN’T EVEN INJURED!! The so-called Heart and Soul of ECW is showered in heat by the fans that, just mere seconds before, chanted his very name!!
T- T- DREAMER HAS ATTACKED- TOMMY IS DREAMER ATTACKING SABU!! THIS IS TOTALLY UNCALLED FOR!!
After a while, Sabu manages to turn the tables on his treacherous assailant, laying into Dreamer with right hands and knocking him backwards into the corner!! As Dreamer falls, ‘Bu turns, in search of Funk once more … but Funk is ready … AND THROWS WHITE POWDER SABU’S EYES!!!!
OH GOD!! TERRY FUNK IS A MAN … ENRANGED!! HE JUST THREW- HE JUST- SOME KIND OF POWDER IN SABU’S EYES!! FROM HIS POCKET!! SABU CAN’T SEE A THING!! HE JUST SAVED ECW!! I CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT WE’RE WITNESSING HERE!!
Funk has the shit booed out of him, as Sabu flays around blindly, clutching his face … UNTIL TOMMY DREAMER SMASHES HIS CRUTCH OVER HIS SKULL ONCE AGAIN!!!
I CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT WE ARE WITNESSING HERE!! HAS TOMMY DREAMER LOST HIS MIND??
Joey, and after Sabu has already wrestled tonight- already saved ECW in one of the bloodiest matches I’ve ever seen, and then he’s attacked like this- this is nothing but a sneak attack!!
The “OHs” ring out once again, as Sabu goes down in a heap, and Dreamer continues to stomp away on him!! A gleeful Jerry Lawler quickly charges over to the cage door and slams it shut, grabbing Fonzie and dumping him outside, locking himself, Funk, Dreamer, and Sabu inside!! Heading back over to Sabu, Funk kicks away at him angrily before yelling at his protégé Dreamer and The King, “TIE THIS SUNNUVA BITCH UP!”
He just- he just caved Sabu’s head in with that crutch!! Terry Funk has locked them inside the cage!! THERE’S- THERE’S NO WAY IN!! TOMMY DREAMER IS TYING SABU UP!! HE’S LOST SO MUCH BLOOD!! HE’S OUT ON HIS FEET!!
Nodding, Dreamer and King grab Sabu by the throat and drags him over to the corner, where they proceed to tie his wrists to the top turnbuckle using some of the string in the padding! As this is going on, Funk grabs the bag he brought with him to ringside and reaches inside. Bill Alfonso tries frantically to get back inside the cage, but Dreamer just beats him away with ease!! After messing around on the canvas for a few seconds, Funk finally stands back up … HOLDING A FLAMING BRANDING IRON!!!!
OH MY GOD- WHERE THE- HE’S NOT GONNA USE THAT ON SABU?? NO!!
The crowd goes APESHIT at the sight of Funk’s infamous weapon, and the sadistic Commissioner approaches the tethered and helpless Sabu menacingly!! Dreamer and King stop the ECW World Heavyweight Champion from thrashing too much, and instead tear away at his gear some more to try and expose some more of his flesh.
Shane Douglas is- WILL SOMEONE PLEASE GET IN THERE AND HELP HIM!?
All around the ringside areas wrestlers flood from the back, trying their damdest to climb the cage and get inside the ring to help their teammate!! Grabbing hold of a chair, Dreamer SMASHES THE WEAPON AGAINST THE BARS - SHATTERING THE FINGERS OF ANYONE TRYING TO CLIMB UP!! The ECW alumni are desperate, but there’s nothing they can do, as Dreamer yells at them, “GET THE FUCK BACK!”
OH GOD!! THERE’S NO WAY IN!! TOMMY DREAMER IS BEATING THEM BACK!!
Funk stands in front of Sabu with the deadly weapon and grabs him by the chin, getting right in his face. “LET’S SEE YOU TRY TO FORGET ABOUT TERRY FUNK NOW!”
…TERRY FUNK BRANDS SABU RIGHT ACROSS THE TOP OF HIS BACK!!!!!
OH MY GAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!
“HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!”
The crowd goes INSANE at the sight of the sadistic attack, as Sabu screams in agony!! Funk finally throws the iron aside triumphantly!! He gets right back in Sabu’s face though, as Dreamer holds him by the neck!!
RIGHT ACROSS THE BACK!! TERRY FUNK HAS JUST BRANDED SAB- HAS JUST BRANDED THE MAN WHO SAVED ECW!! TERRY- TERRY FUNK HAS GONE CRAZY!! FUNK HAS GONE CRAZY!! SABU’S GOTTA BE SERIOUSLY INJURED HERE!!
Funk holds his arms in the air, that deranged look of old glittering in his eye as he stares around at the crowd, who continue to boo like CRAZY, at the man they loved only minutes earlier. Dreamer and King continue to stomp away on Sabu, as Funk kicks away at the cage, yelling psychotically at the audience and the wrestlers at ringside!!
Funk has gone … past the line- HE HAS GONE CRAZY!! I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT WE’RE SEEING!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!! FUNK HAS GONE NUTS!! SABU IS SERIOUSLY INJURED!!
Raw’s Commissioner screams at the man who just saved his job, “WHO’S A COWARD NOW, HUH!? WHO’S A COWARD NOW, YOU BASTARD!” as we…
“Who’s the coward, Sabu?”
“Who’s the coward?”
END OF SHOW