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Re: Legend Presents: WWE 2006 - Stop Your Grinnin' And Drop Your Linen

Monday Night Raw - May 22nd, 2006; Las Vegas, Nevada

One of the greatest of all time."


No fireworks, opening video, commentary…

*Backstage - Promo Area*

Our very first shot of the broadcast is an extreme close up of the WWE Championship belt, which no longer reads “Kurt Angle” on the nameplate, but instead displays the name, “The Big Show.” Slowly, the camera begins to pan up, showing us the massive arms, chest, and torso of the man himself, as The Big Show stands before us in all his glory.

The Big Show: Y’know something? (shrugs) … … I told you so.

~ Show gives us a big smile, and strokes the title belt…

???: Oh yes.

~ Camera pans slowly around… to see Paul Bearer gazing up at his giant adoringly from the wings of the set.

Paul Bearer:
We told you all.


Sin City is already gripped by a tremendous reaction as the now FORMER WWE Champion, ‘The Wrestling Machine’ KURT ANGLE is storming out down the ramp, not stopping for one single, solitary second, not even waiting for his music, before heading straight for the ring. Dressed in navy sweat pants, a grey ‘Tap or Snap’ t-shirt, with his Gold Medals swinging around his neck as always, Angle bypasses his usual pyro to get straight to business.

Jim Ross:
After five months atop the mountain, tonight Kurt Angle finds himself without the WWE Championship around his waist! Hello, everyone, and welcome to Monday Night Raw! I’m Good Ol’ J.R., Jim Ross, here alongside Joey Styles and a very happy Jonathan Coachman.

Jonathan Coachman:
You’re damn right I’m happy, J.R., and wouldn’t you be if you saw a man who slammed you through a table only two weeks ago finally get what he deserves and lose the WWE Title!? I think you, J.R., I think you would!

Joey Styles:
During the WWE Title match last week the ECW Superstars once again invaded Raw, but will we see them again tonight, as the road towards ECW One Night Stand continues to get more and more intense here on Monday Night Raw.

As soon as steps through the ropes, a furious Angle tears his shirt and medals off, storms over to a rather nervous Lillian Garcia and snatches the microphone away from her.

Kurt Angle:

~ Mixed reaction for the mention of The Game.

Kurt Angle:
ME!! YOU!! NOW!!

~ Incredible ovation as the crowd salivates over the match up. Kurt waits for several seconds but nothing happens.

Kurt Angle:
What’s the matter Hunter!? Get your ass out here so I can make you tap like the bitch that you are (Crowd oh’s)!! Oh, it’s true! It’s damn true!!

~ ‘Nuff said. Angle slams the microphone down with a metallic thud, turning to face the stage, and prowling up and down like a caged beast in anticipation, before…

…Vegas EXPLODES with a mixed reaction the likes of which only the two men in the ring seem able to generate… as TRIPLE H comes marching down with a look of fury on his face equal to that of The Wrestling Machine. Tearing off his leather jacket as he moves, Helmsley also disposes of his t-shirt, getting a few girly pops from the crowd, but it’s mostly drowned out by the excited roar of the crowd!!

Jim Ross:
Oh- oh no- oh no, The Game is answerin’ the challenge! Here- here he comes!

Joey Styles:
W- W- We need some security out here right now! These two guys are going to kill each other!

Jonathan Coachman:
To hell with security! Let ‘em fight! Let ‘em fight! C’mon!!

~ Hunter rolls into the ring and immediately jumps up to his feet… AND THE FIGHT IS ON!! The two former World Champion’s hammer away on one another with everything they’ve got, cursing and growling as they do so, with neither man really gaining an advantage!! Just as Angle gets in a few good shots, Trips comes right back with some of his own, the hatred fuelling both men’s invincibility seemingly!!

Jim Ross:
Jesus Christ! This is Goddamn pandemonium out here!

~ No sooner does the fight begin… do any army of security guards, referees, backstage workers, road agents, and even other wrestlers come charging down down the ramp, quickly sliding into the ring and diving onto the brawling superstars, trying to drag them apart!!

THUNDEROUS boos greet the peacemakers, as the wrestle the two psychopaths away from each other, despite the wildness of the men! Angle can be heard SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS, “FUCK YOU, HUNTER! I’M GONNA FUCKIN’ KILL YOU!”, with Trips saying much the same thing!!

Joey Styles:
Thank God even Eric Bischoff had the sense to break this thing up!

Jonathan Coachman:
What!? Are you telling me you didn’t want to see what was gonna happen here!?

~ As Hunter is dragged away into one corner, Angle is forcibly dragged into the other, whilst the crowd chants “Let Them Fight” at the officials holding them back…



What is this??? Mankind’s theme???



MICK FOLEY??? The former WWF Champion, and the former member of the ECW roster makes his way down the aisle with a furious expression on his face. Everyone in the building is confused as hell, as Foley, dressed to kill in a smart dark suit, carries with him an official looking clipboard as he rolls into the ring and grabs one of the discarded microphones off the canvas.

Even Angle and Hunter seem momentarily distracted from one another by this surprise appearance, as Foley points at all the security guards et al.

Mick Foley:

~ Most of the peacemakers look sceptical, not budging, prompting Foley to pull out a piece of paper from his top pocket.

Mick Foley:
You don’t think I have the authority to order you around!? THINK AGAIN!! I have here a signed document (thrusts the paper in their faces) from Vince and Linda McMahon, hereby granting me absolute power in this company in their absence!! NOW GET THE HELL OUT!!

~ Big pop from the fans, as the various workers warily begin to loosen their grips on the enraged pair of Angle and Helmsley.

Mick Foley:
Oh, oh, don’t worry about these two. They’re not going to be a problem for me(gets right in Hunter’s face) because they know all too well what I’m capable off when I’m pissed off!!

~ Helmsley’s eyes narrow … but he doesn’t answer back. The plethora of security and WWE employees release both he and Angle … and neither of them move an inch. The army slowly exits the ring, keep a wary eye on the two maniacs as they back up the ramp.

After a quick nod, Foley turns suddenly … getting right in both men’s faces!!

Mick Foley:

~ OH!; the crowd responds with shock as both Angle and Triple H look dangerously close to losing their temper.

Mick Foley:
You both claim to be the smartest man in the business -- you, Hunter… to so-called ‘Cerebral Assassin’, the master of the mind game -- and you, Kurt… you’ve rammed your ‘Three I’s’ down our throats non-stop for the past six years!! What happened to intelligence!?

~ Angle blinks angrily, as Trips stares straight ahead.

Mick Foley:
Don’t you think that Eric Bischoff and his sycophantic suck ups are sat back there right this minute watching this … and laughing at the two of you!?

~ This seems to get through to both men, as their bodies relax slightly, their muscles less tense.

Mick Foley:
It’s called ‘Divide and Conquer’, gentlemen … and you were about thirty seconds away from falling for it.

~ Angle shakes his head in exasperation.

Mick Foley:
You can’t let that happen. You can’t fight against each other. You’ve got to be united. You at least, for the next three weeks … until One Night Stand … need to … join, forces.

~ “What!?” Coach doesn’t like this one bit, but the crowd certainly does, Angle and Helmsley lock eyes once more over Foley’s head.

Mick Foley:
Do you think that—


Foley’s cut off mid-sentence, cueing an outpouring of heat from the Las Vegas crowd, as Paul Bearer leads the NEW WWE Champion The Big Show out onto the stage, closely followed by a swaggering General Manager Eric Bischoff and Money in the Bank briefcase carrying Carlito.

Jonathan Coachman:
Uh oh! Here we go!

Jim Ross:
Well it looks as though business is about to pick up, because … we’re being joined here…

Jonathan Coachman:
Oh there he is! Finally, J.R., here comes the voice of reason!

Bischoff and co. stop on the stage, with the GM looking decidedly uncomfortable in Mick Foley’s company. As his music dies down and the boos pick up, Bischoff brings a mic up.

Eric Bischoff:

~ Monstrous heat, as Foley raises an eyebrow.

Eric Bischoff:
You think that … maybe … maybe you’re- maybe you’d like to be … Gandhi!? Somebody like that … where you’re the peacemaker? You want to do good for everybody like Gandhi did!?

~ An “Asshole” chant starts up, which ‘Lito tries to get them to stop.

Eric Bischoff:
Or maybe … maybe you fancy yourself as- as some kind of … white Martin Luther King, Jr.?

~ Foley shrugs with a bemused chuckle, but Carlito turns angrily to the noisy crowd, leaning into the mic.


~ Big-time heat for the group, as Big Show glowers threateningly into the masses.

Eric Bischoff:
Thank you, Carlito. You know what … but since you’re trying to … like … lay the law down, Mick … maybe … maybe you think of yourself … as … as some kind of sheriff? A fat -- or should I say fatter -- John Wayne? Maybe that’s how you’re seeing yourself in that deranged mind of yours these days, eh, Mick?

~ More boos as Foley laughs it up.

Eric Bischoff:
Well … no one knows what’s really going on in Mick Foley’s head … no one knows who you really think you are … but I can tell you…

~ Bischoff trails off, looking up into the crowd, who continue to chant “Carlito’s gay” at the top of their lungs, sending Mr. Money in the Bank into a frenzy.

Eric Bischoff:
Last night says otherwise. Ask Torrie Wilson…

~ Bearer pats ‘Lito on the back, telling him to “Calm down.”

Eric Bischoff:
But let me tell you exactly, Mick Foley … who you truly are.

~ Foley mouths, “Be my guest.”

Eric Bischoff:
And all you truly are … is a … conniving … do-gooder … sycophantic … ass kissing … uh, pathetic excuse for an employee.

~ Huge heat, as Mick rubs his eyebrows with a sblack.

Eric Bischoff:
That’s really … who you really are … so don’t- don’t pretend you’re anything else.

~ Bischoff gives Foley one of his famous, nauseating grins.

Eric Bischoff:
Now … simply because it amuses us … you were talking about… (waves his hand) those two joining forces … what… (turns to the crowd) WE’RE NOT GONNA TELL YOU PEOPLE AGAIN!!

~ Thunderous boos from the “Asshole” chanting thousands.

Eric Bischoff:
So what did you mean by “joining forces?”

~ Foley glances at the two men on either side of him with a smirk.

Mick Foley:
Well, Eric … before you made your way out here … with your boy band … I was about to say … that these two men -- these two men who both hate your guts, Eric -- are going to join forces … as one half of a ten-man tag team match … at ECW One Night Stand.

~ THUNDEROUS ovation from the crowd, as Angle and Hunter stare at one another dubiously, while Bischoff et al look slightly concerned.

Mick Foley:
And … just because I’m such a giving person … the other half of the tag team match is… (points) our new WWE Champion … The Big Show…

~ Boos, as Show looks up at Foley nonchalantly.

Mick Foley:

~ ‘Lito turns quickly, waving his hands, saying, “No, no, no.”

Mick Foley:
And any other three Raw superstars you choose, Eric.

~ The crowd cheers the huge match, as Carlito and Bearer shakes their heads, Big Show doesn’t look fussed at all, and Bischoff ... SUDDENLY MARCHES FORWARDS!!

Eric Bischoff:

~ Roars go up, but both Carly and Bearer blow a gasket, demanding to know what the GM of Raw is thinking.

Eric Bischoff:
You think I’m afraid, Mick Foley!? You think I’m afraid of you, or Steve Austin, or the McMahon’s!? I’m Eric Bischoff dammit! I’m untouchable! Do your worst! I don’t give a damn what match you make at One Night Stand … I don’t care what match you make here tonight, tomorrow night, or any other night for that matter!!

~ As Bischoff goes nuts the crowd jeers loudly. The GM stomps up and down like a child having a tantrum ... as a small smile starts to come over Foley’s bearded face.

Mick Foley:
Well … it’s funny you should say that, Eric … because tonight … right here … in Las Vegas, Nevada!!

~ Huge cheap pop from the crowd at the prospect of something happening tonight, as Bischoff swallows hard ()

Mick Foley:
Funny you should say that, yeah … in that case tonight … Big Show … you will defend the WWE Championship … against … Triple H…

~ INCREDIBLE pop for the match, as Hunter smirks up the ramp at Show, pointing at him and making the gesture around his waist.

Mick Foley:

~ BOOMING ovation for the match, as Bearer holds his head in dismay, Big Show blinks dismissively, and Bischoff shrugs arrogantly.

Eric Bischoff:
That’s it? That’s all you got!? YOU BET YOUR ASS YOU’RE ON!! YOU DAMN RIGHT YOU GOT IT!!

~ Carlito has a bitch fit, whilst Bearer damn near faints from shock.

Eric Bischoff:
Big Show will defend the WWE Title here tonight … and, so what, he has to fight off two men at the same time! Even so … he’ll do it … because he’s that good … he’s that damn good … and you’re just jealous of him, Foley, and you know damn well you are.

~ Foley cocks his head.

Mick Foley:
Jealous? I seem to recall beating his ass seven years ago at WrestleMania … but enough about me. As the Three Way Dance is a two-fall match, contested under elimination rules -- an ECW specialty I might add, in keeping with your weekly ‘Extreme Initiative’ -- whoever the final two men are at the end … they will meet for the WWE Title in five weeks time on June25th at Raw’s next Pay Per View … Vengeance.

~ Bearer throws his hands up in exasperation.

Mick Foley:
Well … if that’s how to take to that little announcement … let’s see what you make of this next one, shall we?

~ Cheers, as Carlito looks angrily at his boss.

Mick Foley:
Because … there is another item we will see up for grabs tonight.

~ Another outburst of applause, as a terrified Carlito tries to hide his briefcase behind his back.

Mick Foley: That
item… is your Money in the Bank briefcase … Carlito.

~ Pop, as the hated Caribbean Cool yells at Bischoff in horror.

Mick Foley:
C’mon, ‘Lito … how about you grow a set? Tonight, you will defend the Money in the Bank contract … against your old friend … Gregory Helms.

~ Good pop for Helms, as Carlito waves his hands in the air, dismayed at having to face his Backlash opponent once again.

Mick Foley:
And … pay very close attention to this … this is a stipulation … if Chris Masters or any of your Carlito’s buddies interfere in that match at all … you will be disqualified … and Gregory Helms will be awarded the Money in the Bank contract.

~ Clutching his briefcase to him like an infant, Carly tries to block out the cheers of the crowd. Bischoff holds his hands out confidently, pointing up at Foley.

Eric Bischoff:
Alright, you’ve got that too! I’m happy … now that you’ve made all of your little announcements … you little McMahon puppet you … you go back to giving Vince and Linda back rubs in Greenwich, just like you started your day this morning!

~ Beckoning to his colleagues, Bischoff turns to leave.

Mick Foley:
Woah, woah, woah, woah, Eric.

~ More cheers, as Bischoff stops dead, turning with trepidation to face his enemy.

Mick Foley:
I wouldn’t call myself a puppet of the McMahon’s. I like to think of myself … as … their Executive ENFORCER!!

~ “Good for you, Mick,” says Bischoff, turning to leave again.

Mick Foley:
Aaaaaaaaaand … as their Executive Enforcer … I will make this one, final announcement tonight…

~ The crowd buzzes once again, as a nervous Bischoff strolls back onto the stage.

Mick Foley:
Tonight … you will meet … the BRAND NEW … E … C … W … Commissioner.

~ Surprised pop, as Bischoff looks positively disgusted by this.

Mick Foley:
And no … it’s not me. It’s a man chosen by me though, Eric … who will SHARE power with you, Eric, up ‘til One Night Stand on June 11TH -- now, that includes bookings, money, matches, you name it, Eric -- … this man is going to be … YOUR PARTNER!!

~ TREMENDOUS response from the crowd, as Bischoff has a fit on the stage, hurling his jacket to the ground.

Mick Foley:
Oh, and, Eric? This man is gonna make himself known to you by the end of the night … because he has a VERY special announcement to make concerning the aforementioned ten-man tag team match at ECW One Night Stand. You’re gonna love it, Eric … trust me.

~ Bischoff mutters through gritted teeth, “You son of a...”

Mick Foley:
You know him … extremely well, Eric … and trust me when I say this … he sure as hell knows you.

~ More cheers, as Bischoff stares at his shoes in dismay ... and Foley slowly approaches the ropes, leaning over them.

Mick Foley:
Wait. Ho- ho- Hold on. How- how terribly rude of me, Eric. Before you go I just wanted to say one thing

~ Bischoff looks up slowly, as Mick gives him the famous thumbs up.

Mick Foley:

~ ‘Wreck’ hits through the arena once more to another great pop, as Foley walks around the ring saluting the fans with his usual taunt, as Triple H and Angle look from one another to their opponent later tonight on the stage, while Eric Bischoff holds his head in his hands.

Jim Ross:
Oh my Gawd!! Mick Foley … signed as Vince and Linda McMahon’s Executive Enforcer … has apparently appointed a NEW ECW Commissioner here on Raw … he’s already made an impact here tonight!!

Joey Styles:
Well you have to love that!! I know we love it, but there’s one man who doesn’t love it … Eric Bischoff!!

Jim Ross:
What’s gonna happen the rest of this night!? Oh man!!

Show points up the ramp at his two challengers as if to say, “You’re next,” as Bearer hides behind his fearsome giant…


*Backstage - Interview Area*

Todd Grisham stands by with one-half of the World Tag Team Champions, Charlie Haas.

Todd Grisham:
The response from all the fans was tremendous when Charlie Haas walked over here at ringside to join us, and it’s good to see one half of the tag team champions once again.

Charlie Haas:
Thank you very much, y’know, I’m delighted to be here. Y’know, over the past week, everywhere I’ve been across this country, all I’ve been hearin’ is, “When’re you gonna challenge Shelton Benjamin one more time? … When’re we gonna see the rematch?”

~ Haas glances at Grisham.

Charlie Haas:
Well, the answer to that question is very simple … it’s not up to me -- ‘cause right now Shelton Benjamin is sat at home with six inches o’ tape wrapped ‘round his bruised ribs thanks to what happened to him last week -- he is in no fit state to even be thinkin’ about defendin’ that Intercontinental Title against anyone, myself included, and quite frankly I think it would be disrespectful of me to lay down a challenge or anythin’ like that.

~ He shakes his head.

Charlie Haas:
Well, Armando Estrada, let me tell you somethin’ … I’m sure, I don’t care about the money as much as you, but what I do care about … is the wrestling. You’ve brought your boys here to the WWE, and, sure, they’re big … sure, they’re tough … sure, they’re monsters … but if you think that frightens Shelton and I for one second, you’ve got another thing comin’, pal. The World’s Greatest Tag Team isn’t just a name … it’s what we are. Since we became the World Tag Team Champions back at WrestleMania, we’ve taken on all comers … and we’ve knocked ‘em all back … and, Estrada … your boys are gonna be no different.

~ Small pop in the background.

Charlie Haas:
So, let me tell you this one thing … I’m not gonna scream myself horse or anythin’ like that sayin’ it … I’m not gonna lie to ya … Umaga’s bigger than me, and Umaga’s stronger than me. But monsters don’t care about anythin’, not the way we do. After what you did to my partner- to my friend last week, there is a fire been lit inside my gut … the likes of which, I assure you … you have never seen.

~ Haas gives the camera a steely camera and walks off screenshot.

Todd Grisham:
And now let’s go back to the ring…

*Back to ringside*

1 - Ken Doane
vs. Chavo Guerrero

Small, decent low key affair to get the show’s action underway, with Doane still nursing injuries from last week’s ladder match. Chavito begins to dominate after feigning a thumb to the eye injury, which the ref checks, only to poke Doane in the eye himself. He keeps the youngster with a flurry of right hands, chops, uppercuts, kicks, and eventually a beautiful dropkick. Doane though, catches Guerrero sleeping on the top rope, and drags him off by the bandanna, sifting the momentum. He scores a bunch of near falls with his rolling clotheslines, as well as a leaping reverse elbow, but nothing seems to work, and he goes back to a reverse chinlock.

Once Chavito Heat eventually breaks free, he comes of the ropes with his Rolling Liger Kick, which Doane narrowly avoids, before just attacking the twenty-year-old anyway! He connects with his late Uncle Eddie’s Three Amigos, as well as a nice headscissor takedown, but Kenny still kicks out. He gets him with a crossbody off the top, but the youngster survives that too. He eventually reverses a sunset flip attempt, and the two go back and forth with pinning combos until Doane snatches the tights on one, scoring a cheap three count!

Winner -Ken Doane via pin fall at 6:27.

Kenny rolls the hell out of dodge to avoid repercussion, as Chavo sits up in shock in the ring. The cheerleader stumbles backward, having his hand raised by the official.

Jim Ross:
Kenny had the tights! And Kenny got the three!

Joey Styles:
Well … in his defence there was no way referee Marty Elias could see that. He- Chavo Guerrero is amazed.

Jim Ross:
Kenny wins a significant one on one match just seven days before the number one contender’s match. That takes place next week, ladies and gentlemen… (graphic appears) Ken Doane and Chavo Guerrero are gonna fight it out with Charlie Haas, Gregory Helms, and Chris Masters for the right to face Shelton Benjamin for the Intercontinental title at Vengeance. Now let’s check in with Todd Grisham once more…

*Backstage - Interview Area*

Carlito, with Chris Masters and Torrie Wilson, is ready to be interviewed by Todd Grisham.

Todd Grisham:
And with us now at ringside, you’re looking at Mr. Money in the Bank Carlito and his friends, Chris Masters and Torrie Wilson.

Y’know, Todd Grisham, Monday Night Raw is supposed to be ‘da greatest professional wrestling show on T.V, b- b- but what does Carlito see ‘dis week? A- A washed up, fat, stinky sock wearin’ moron like Mick Foley comin’ out here and- and- and throwing orders at us.

~ Carly chuckles to himself.

So- so we’ve got … Gregory Helms, “I’ got screwed by Carlito at WrestleMania … I got screwed at Backlash.” So, yeah, you and Carlito have battled all across ‘de country. And y’know, you’ve still got ‘da Hurricane whinin’, “One more chance, I want another match.” Well, y’know, Hurricane, Carlito faced you at Backlash even though ‘dat match should never have happened in ‘de first place … todos fines esta noche … and y’know, ‘dis is where it is right here … (holds up the briefcase) ‘da Money in ‘da Bank briefcase still belongs to ‘de man who won it at WrestleMania in ‘da first place, Carlito.

~ Crowd boos

And when Carlito steps into ‘de ring with you, I- I- I don’t remember it saying anything like, “Gregory Helms … ‘da REAL Mr. Money in ‘da Bank.” Y’know why it doesn’t say ‘dat? ‘Cause you’re not ‘de real Mr. Money in ‘da Bank … Carlito is, and ‘dat’s the way it’s gonna stay until I become a World Champion!!

~ Masters and Wilson nod in the background.

Now, Hurricane Helms, y- y- you can whine and complain and bitch and moan to Mick Foley and ‘de McMahon’s all you want … but Mr. Bischoff’s still ‘da man around here, and it just so happens ‘dat he sees through you just like Carlito does. I’ve given you every single chance possible… so after tonight … no more chances, superhero!

~ Getting a bit more serious, ‘Lito frowns.

Now, as for your fat, disgusting buddy Mick Foley. Foley … he- he- he stuck ‘dat stinkin’ sock right down Carlito’s mouth back at Taboo Tuesday, so don’t think ‘dat Carlito’s forgot about ‘dat!! Foley, you can stick Carlito and ‘da Big Show in any kind of match you want tonight … and it doesn’t matter … ‘cause by the end of ‘de night, Show’ll still be ‘da WWE Champion, Carlito’ll still be Mr. Money in ‘da Bank, and you, Foley … you’ll still be the same fat piece of crap you were when you entered ‘da buildin’!

~ All three laugh. Grisham tries to pull away, but CCC stops him.

Keep ‘dat microphone still, and be quiet … (points off camera) you shut your mouth too. You’re about to find out why Carlito is ‘da next World Champion round here … right after ‘da break. Right, four eyes?

~ After a pat on the back from The Masterpiece, Carlito picks up his case and heads off.

Todd Grisham:
Words from Mr. Money in the Bank Carlito, along with Torrie Wilson and The Masterpiece. We’ll have more in a moment so don’t go away.

*Back to ringside*


Business well and truly picks up, as ‘The Samoan Bulldozer’ Umaga, with manager Armando Alejandro Estrada and tag team partner Samu, makes his way down the ramp.

Jim Ross:
Well, I can’t disagree with anything that Estrada has been saying these last few weeks, quite honestly. The cretinous Cuban right on the money, because Umaga played a huge role in–

Jonathan Coachman:
W- w- w- wait … what did you just call Armando?

Jim Ross:
I think it might’ve been a “cretinous Cuban.”

Jonathan Coachman:
Look … I’ve heard you run down guys before … I’ve even heard you run down Mr. McMahon … we saw what Umaga and Samu did to Shelton Benjamin last week, he’s in hospital because of it … you better be careful, J.R.! God knows The Coach can’t protect you forever.

Jim Ross:
I think you’ve just made a very good point. I’m sincerely sorry for what I said. [/sarcasm]

Joey Styles:
Very noble of you, Coach. As for Charlie Haas … I think nobility should be the last thing on his mind. All due respect to Haas … Charlie is an amazing superstar … with amazing technical wrestling abilities … but this Samoan Bulldozer is extraordinary. We saw that last week especially … and he is extraordinarily motivated obviously tonight.


Getting a good reaction from Las Vegas, highlighting his increasing popularity, one-half of the World Tag Team Champions, Charlie Haas, storms down to the ring, eager to get his hands on Umaga after last week.

Joey Styles:
Will Charlie Haas eat his words … or can the tag team champion upset The Samoan Bulldozer? We’ll find out after the break, next!!


2 -Umaga w/Armando Alejandro Estrada
vs. World Tag Team Champion Charlie Haas

When we come back the match is already in progress, with the plucky, fiery Charlie Haas hammering away at The Samoan Bulldozer with right hands … to little effect quite frankly. Being an intelligent guy, Haas sees this and quickly scores with a dropkick, actually staggering Umaga into the corner. Hitting the back of his head on the buckle, ‘Mags stumbles back out dazedly, and Haas quickly scrambles up to the top rope, looking to capitalise with a big aerial manoeuvre -- BUT UMAGA SHOVE HAAS OFF … ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE FLOOR!!

Haas is in a bad way on the outside, but referee Jack Doan manages to keep Estrada and Samu from doing any further damage. Umaga drags one of his Vengeance opponents back into the ring and delivers a big, 300lb leg drop across his chest!!

As ‘Maga paces around the ring methodically, Haas sits back up … AND UMAGA KICKS HIM RIGHT IN THE CHEST!! The crowd groans at the sound of the sickening smack, as the tag team champion rolls around, clutching his toned chest in agony. Umaga yells something indistinct to more heat, echoed by Samu at ringside, while Estrada claps away.

Targeting the neck and chest of the Ceton Hall alumni, The Samoan Bulldozer begins to dominate. Showing his fighting spirit, Haas begins to fight out of the corner, knocking Umaga back to the middle of the ring, and whaling away on him, before quickly hitting the ropes for some extra momentum -- BUT UMAGA THROWS HIM UP … DELIVERING THE SAMOAN DROP!!

With the very same manoeuvre that he gave to Benjamin last week on a ladder, ‘Mags quickly reasserts himself. Taking his sweet time, the undefeated newcomer delivers a few more blows, before pulling Haas up by the hair … and Charlie fires away with right hands to the rather large gut of The Samoan Bulldozer. Haas unsettles the beast … AND SCOOPS HIM UP -- BUT UMAGA IS TOO HEAVY … AND CRASHES DOWN ON TOP OF HAAS!! 1 … 2 … NO!!

Gasps quickly turn to groans, as Haas barely survives a pin fall attempt of his own making. Firmly in command, ‘Mags bats Haas around like a small fly for a while, before throwing him into the corner. Umaga hurries in -- but Haas gets both of his feet up in the face of the Bulldozer!! As Umaga stumbles around, Haas quickly ascends to the second turnbuckle … and leaps off … APPLYING THE SLEEPER HOLD TO UMAGA!!

The crowd cheers, as Haas wraps his legs around the massive waist of Umaga, with his arms tightly around his head, trying to sap the fight out of the mighty behemoth. Estrada looks horrified at ringside, with his cash cow in trouble for the first time in his WWE tenure. Samu, not liking what he sees, tries to climb up onto the apron, but Armando quickly gets him back down with a few words of wisdom. Meanwhile, ‘Maga slaps around, angrily at first, like whale with a seagull on his back -- but eventually Haas’ tactic begins to pay off … AND UMAGA GOES DOWN TO A KNEE!! The crowd really gets behind the other half of the World’s Greatest Tag Team, as Jack Doan checks on Umaga. With his tongue lolling out of the corner of his mouth … Umaga SUDDENLY RISES BACK UP TI HIS FEET … HURLING CHARLIE HAAS THROUGH THE ROPES!!

Estrada breathes a sigh of relief, mopping his brow with his handkerchief before replacing his hat. Haas lies on the outside, with Umaga slowly rolling out of the ring after him, trying to catch him breath - HAAS SUDDENLY JUMPS ON HIM … APPLYING THE SLEEPER AGAIN!!

More cheers ring out around the arena, as ‘Mags flaps around angrily again, trying to get the pugnacious All American off his back. Samu instinctively makes a beeline for the two men … but Jack Doan immediately gets in his way, telling him to
“Back off.” Samu would’ve probably nailed Doan, such is the the look in his eyes, but Estrada quickly leads him away, avoiding the disqualification. Around the ringside area, Umaga makes one last effort … SNAPPING HAAS OVERHEAD INTO THE STEEL STEPS!!

The loudest groans of the match thus far are heard from the Las Vegas crowd, as Haas lies in a heap alongside the steps, cluctching his back and neck. Jack Doan begins his count … 1 … 2 … Estrada looks mightily relieved once again, beginning to shout more encouragement to his Bulldozer … 3 … 4 … 5 … Umaga takes a bit longer to recover than AAE might like though, but he eventually rolls back inside the ring to catch his breath … 6 … 7 … An aching Charlie Haas grabs hold of the apron to pull himself up … 8 … He barely manages to break the ref’s count as he gingerly slides inside the ring … ONLY FOR UMAGA TO CHARGE ACROSS THE RING - CONNECTING WITH A FLYING HEADBUTT TO HAAS!!

Angrily snatching Haas up, Umaga throws the tag team champion into the corner and pounds away on him. With his victim slumped against the bottom buckle, ‘Mags plods back across the ring, sizing up his prey, letting an enormous roar … BEFORE RACING ACROSS THE RING … GOING FOR THE RUNNING BUTT SPLASH -- BUT HAAS MOVES OUT OF THE WAY!! Umaga slams into nothing but turnbuckle, and staggers out angrily holding his backside.

Haas slithers out onto the apron, where a furious Samoan Bulldozer quickly tries to grab hold of him. Blocking Umaga’s big paws, Haas rocks the behemoth with a nice European Uppercut, before catching him with a shoulder to the gut … and propelling himself over the ropes, going for the sunset flip … but Umaga stays on his feet … AND LEAPS UP … LOOKING TO CRUSH HAAS’ RIBCAGE -- BUT HAAS MOVES!!

As Umaga does more damage to his spine and ass, Haas quickly run across the ring, hitting the ropes … AND BOOTING UMAGA RIGHT IN THE SPINE!! The monster growls in pain as his spine jars, but he starts to get up anyway, and Haas catches him with another dropkick, once more staggering the destroyer. Umaga keeps on coming though, making it back up to his feet, and Haas continues to pummel him desperately.

Umaga SWINGS AT HAAS -- but the youngster quickly ducks under it, coming back with a clothesline of his own, which has virtually no effect on the Bulldozer. ‘Mags wobbles slightly, as Haas quickly mounts the turnbuckle … LEAPING OFF … SCORING WITH A DIVING EUROPEAN UPPERCUT CHRISTIAN STYLE!! The crowd cheers and screams, as Haas, breathing heavily, waits with his arms outstretched for Umaga to stumble back up to his feet … HE GRABS UMAGA IN A WAISTLOCK … GERMAN SUPLEX TO THE THREE HUNDRED POUNDER!!! The crowd goes nuts, as even Haas looks shocked, quickly looking for a cover!!



Haas looks absolutely flabbergasted as he turns around, having been thrown halfway across the ring by Umaga’s damn kick out!!!

The Samoan Bulldozer is right back up to his feet already, and he quickly grabs the bewildered champion, delivering a strong headbutt, before knocking him down with a thrust to the throat. Gasping for air, Haas tries to crawl away, but ‘Mags pulls him back, looking to drive his head into the top turnbuckle … only for Haas to block and elbow the beast away. More pissed off by the shot than anything … UMAGA CHARGES -- HAAS MOVES … AND THE SAMOAN EATS THE METAL RING POST!!! Vegas goes wild, as The Samoan Bulldozer falls out groggily … AND HAAS GOES BEHIND … A SECOND GERMAN TO THE BIG MAN!!!

The crowd goes wild, as Haas, full of adrenaline, points to the top rope, and quickly begins to climb, getting himself all set up for the moonsault … BUT UMAGA IS ALREADY UP!!!

HE WALKS OVER … REACHES UP … GRABS HAAS BY THE THROAT … HURLING HIM DOWN OFF THE TOP -- BUT HAAS LANDS ON HIS FEET -- BAM!!! UMAGA SUPERKICKS HIS DAMN HEAD OFF!!! Haas falls back into the opposite corner … AS UMAGA IMMEDIATELY CHARGES - RUNNING BUTT SPLASH TO HAAS!!! It’s in the book now, as Umaga pulls his lifeless opponent up by the scalp … DELIVERING THE SAMOAN SPIKE IN MID-AIR!!! Umaga drops himself over the lifeless chest of Charlie Haas, as the count is made.




Winner - Umaga via pinfall @ 10:06.

Umaga looks set to finish Haas off once and for all, but Estrada quickly gets in the ring, preventing any further damage. Grinning, Armando takes a good look at one of the men his monstrous clients must overcome at Vengeance … flat on his back. Estrada stands in between his two bellowing monsters, holding up five fingers, indicating how many weeks the World’s Greatest Tag Team have left with the belts.

Jim Ross:
Oh God, I take my hat off to Charlie Haas. What an effort that was! I can’t believe he actually got Umaga into the air. But in the end- well, this Umaga is a freak of nature.

Joey Styles:
You’ve got that right, J.R. Neither Umaga or Samu have looked even close to being in trouble since their impactful debut at Backlash, and come Vengeance the World’s Greatest Tag Team have to face both of them at the same time! I certainly don’t envy Haas ‘n’ Benjamin.

Jonathan Coachman:
I don’t either … but it has nothing to do with Umaga and Samu.

*Backstage - Interview Area*

Todd Grisham is standing by with Gregory Helms.

Todd Grisham:
Let’s give it to Charlie Haas, that was quite a match. Now, I’m here with Gregory Helms, who competes for the Money in the Bank briefcase later tonight.

Gregory Helms:
Well, y’know somethin’, Grisham, these Samoans are going around here sayin’ they’re the next tag team champs -- how can that even be, when they’ve never even wrestled myself and Chavito Heat?

~ Helms shrugs his shoulders.

Gregory Helms:
But that’s beside the point, you asked my here to talk about Carlito. Now, when he spoke earlier he managed to get one thing right … he is Mr. Money in the Bank…

~ He turns his head.

Gregory Helms:
for now. You see, right now, and he was out here- talking about all his accomplishments since winnin’ that briefcase at WrestleMania … but I mean, c’mon, seriously, everyone knows you need a meathead body builder and some blonde slut to write ya checks!!

~ Laughs from the crowd.

Gregory Helms:
Now, he come out here and he says- he says, “Gregory Helms ain’t World Championship material … he spent five years runnin’ ‘round dressed like a superhero.” So what if I did, huh? Not all of us have our daddies to help us get ahead in this business … some of us actually have ta pay our dues. So, I don’t need no apple chewin’ punk like you givin’ me career advice!

~ Greg whips off his shades.

Gregory Helms:
So, you get this straight, baby, Las Vegas, Nevada, Sin City, is the town where absolutely anythin’ can happen, man, and tonight I think it just might come true. See, I’ve drank some tequilas, I’ve played some Blackjack, and y’know what? I’m feelin’ a little crazy!! Now, I think it’s time I rolled the dice, Carlito. I came up short at WrestleMania ‘cause of ya damn apple … I came up short at Backlash because of ya boyfriend … but ta’night, when Gregory Helms rolls them dice, I ain’t just gonna be comin’ up sixes with … I’m gonna be comin’ up with money … I gonna be comin’ up … with money … in the bank.

~ All fired up, Helms storms off to cheers.

Todd Grisham:
Gregory Helms. We’ll be back with more right after this…


*Video Plays*

Narrator: Blood has been spilled …

Shawn Michaels nailing John Cena with a steel chair.

Narrator: Tears have been shed …

Cena being stretchered out on a gurney.

Narrator: Wars have been waged …

HBK holding up Cena’s dog tags.

Narrator: Battle lines have been drawn …

Cena FU’ing Michaels at WrestleMania.

Narrator: Enemies have been made …

Elbow Drop through the announce table at Backlash.

Narrator: All in the name …

Cena and Michaels both bloody and enraged.

“Of …”

Quick, rapid shots of everything Cena and HBK have done to one another this year.

“… Vengeance.”

“WWE Vengeance, June 25th, 8/7CT, live on pay-per-view”

*Video Ends*

*Backstage - Interview Area*

We are back with a very nervous looking Todd Grisham, standing by with The Sons of Samoa, Umaga and Samu, along with their grinning handler Armando Alejandro Estrada.

Todd Grisham:
Joining me now, the number one contenders to the World Tag Team Championship, The Sons of Samoa, along with Armando Estrada.

Armando Alejandro Estrada:
First of all (points)I want ju, Mr. Cameraman, to get a good shot of my Samoan Bulldozer. Not a drop of sweat on him, do ju see that?

~ He pats Umaga’s chest.

Armando Alejandro Estrada:
But ju know what? I am a fair man … so I’m going to give Mr. Charlie Haas the credit he deserves. Tonight he gave us – haha – the performance of a lifetime, and ju know what? HE STILL LOST!! HAHA!! Because my Samoan Bulldozer is UNSTOPPABLE!! And it doesn’t stop there, because The Samoan Cannonball Samu is no different!! Charlie Haas … ju might have guts … but ju’re in there with monsters.

~ Umaga growls, as Samu bares his teeth.

Armando Alejandro Estrada:
It’s simple - como se dic’ - physics. My bulldozer and my cannonball are bigger than Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas … they are stronger than Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas … and they are better than them too. But ju know what I have done?

Todd Grisham:

Armando Alejandro Estrada:
I have just been to Senior Bischoff … and he has signed for Shelton Benjamin’s return match … against … the SAAAAAAAMOAN CANNONBALL!!

~ AAE nods his head.

Armando Alejandro Estrada:
Ju call yourself the World’s Greatest … but ju have to prove it against the biggest and baddest on Raw!! Samu and Umaga are the biggest and baddest the dubyoo’ dubyoo’ E has ever seen!! So far, it’s 1-0 to The Sons of Saaaaaaamoa … but if ju can beat the cannonball, Senior Benjamin … amigo, maybe people will start to think ju actually have a chance at Vengeance.

~ Mr. Estrada affords himself a small chuckle.

Armando Alejandro Estrada:
That’s where it’s going to happen compadres. In Charlotte, North Carolina … The Sons of Saaaaaaaamoa make their first pay per view appearance … and walk out with the World Tag Team Championship around their waists!! That’s not just – haha – my opinion. THAT’S FACT!! The World’s Greatest Tag Team are done!! The World’s Greatest Tag Team are over!! Peros … it’s time … for ju to go!!

~ ‘Mando rubs his fingers together.

Armando Alejandro Estrada:
Piense en el dinero. And, think off all the dinero … that will be coming to Armando Alejandro Estrada when I have the World Tag Team Champions by my side. Ju all better get used to this picture, because The Sons of Saaaaaaamoa are taking over Monday night’s!! One month, World’s Greatest Tag Team, one month!! Enjoy it!! Ha-ha!!

~ The SOS extend their massive tongues, before AAE leads his two beasts away.

Todd Grisham:
The number one contenders. We’ll be back in just a few moments.

*Back to ringside*

Good Ol’ J.R., Jim Ross, waits in the ring, cowboy hat and all, microphone in hand.

Jim Ross:
Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time … returning from a near month long layoff … and suspension for his assault on The Doctor of Thuganomics John Cena during the WWE Championship main event at Backlash-

~ Cue the mixed reaction.

Jim Ross:
The first Grand Slam Champion in the history of World Wrestlin’ Entertainment … “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels.

***SEXY BOY***

A THUNDEROUS reaction greets the now infamous music, as ‘The Heartbreak Kid’ Shawn Michaels walks out on to the stage incredibly slowly. There doesn’t some to be anything going on upstairs, as he starts to methodically step down to the ring with a completely vacant, expressionless, and distant gaze upon his face.

Joey Styles
The last time we saw this man was at Backlash. He was standing over both John Cena and Kurt Angle, having just cost Cena the WWE Championship. Cena hasn’t been seen since, and Angle is barred from ringside. What could Michaels have to say for himself?

Jonathan Coachman:
He looks dapper, Joey Styles!

Dressed in his cowboy hat, and a black suit, white dress shirt and tie, The Showstopper looks like something out of a Sergio Leone western as he laboriously plods up the steel ring steps. The boos pick up, as the unshaven, bearded HBK steps through the ropes and slowly walks right past J.R., barely acknowledging him, walking over to the ropes and simply gazing out at the thousands upon thousands of disappointed fans.

Jonathan Coachman
I envy, J.R., Joey. Shawn’s such a superstar!

Joey Styles
Something’s gone wrong in Michaels’ head!

Michaels finally has enough of eyeballing the people he betrayed and slowly ambles over to where J.R. waits. HBK rubs his eyes, as his music dies down, and J.R. steps forward.

Jim Ross:
Well … Shawn … I know you’re not stupid … and I know you’re not deaf either. The response these fans just gave you should tell you everythin’ you need to know about what has been goin; through everybody’s mind … followin’ your actions at Backlash, Shawn.

~ Michaels blinks.

Jim Ross:
Do you have any explanation at all for why in God’s name you did what you did to John Cena at Backlash?

~ Raising an eyebrow, Shawn calmly approaches the mic.

Shawn Michaels:
Y’know, I-

~ The BOOS immediately cut him off, and he adjusts his hat agitatedly, before trying again.

Shawn Michaels:
Y’know, if I could, I’d like ta tell you all a story here tonight.

~ J.R. nods curiously.

Shawn Michaels: Y’see, it starts a little somethin’ like this … Once upon a time … there was a man known … as “The Heartbreak Kid.” There was a man known … as “The Showstopper” … “The Headliner” … “Mr. WrestleMania” … (smiles)“The Icon”. That man … was -- is -- the greatest professional wrestler … of all time.

~ A smirk forms at the corner of HBK’s mouth.

Shawn Michaels: But, y’see… with greatness … comes envy … comes jealousy … admiration, adulation, obsession, and -- at the very least -- replication. Those who hated The Heartbreak Kid for his talents … and for his accomplishments … they tried to erase the mere sight of him from professional wrestling. Men like Marty Jannetty (small pop), Kevin Nash (pop), Psycho Sid (mixed reaction), Triple H (mixed reaction)… one by one they came … and one by one … they fell. But… at least they came. At least those men had the guts … the heart … and the intestinal fortitude to confront The Showstopper face to face … to look him in the eye and see if they truly were man enough … to take, him, out!

~ The Headliner sighs, calmly adjusting his cowboy hat.

Shawn Michaels: They’re not the problem. Never were. They don’t hide their true feelings for The Headliner. Never have. No, the real problem … lies somewhere else.

~ Shawn runs a pale hand across his rather liberal stubble, frowning.

Shawn Michaels:
The real problem lies with the second category. Those who have admired … adulated … and obsessed over Mr. WrestleMania for most of their lives. Why this is a problem, you ask? It’s pretty simple. All of that leads … to replication.

~ Other than a few vociferous youngsters, the crowd is largely hushed.

Shawn Michaels: Replication, boys and girls. Copycats. One by one they fell in love with The Heartbreak Kid … and one by one they tried to BE The Heart, break, Kid.

~ A slight “HBK” chant actually begins, most likely due to his constant references to the name, but Michaels talks over it.

Shawn Michaels: Who had the goods? Who had the looks? Who had the unbridled charisma of an ‘Aitch Bee Kay? The Rock? (huge pop) Chris Jericho? (pop) Randy Orton? (boos) They all tried to be the new “Sexy Boy” in town, but you … you stopped ‘em cold.

~ The former World Champion nods his head, and continues.

Shawn Michaels: That’s why he loved ya. That’s why The Showstopper fought so very, very hard to come back to this business … for each and every one of you who stayed loyal.

~ A large portion of the crowd cheers, as HBK just paid them a rather big compliment, and Shawn smiles at their self-gratification.

Shawn Michaels: That’s right… that’s right. Enjoy this moment. Enjoy your moment. Pat ya’selves on the back … ‘cause I mean every word I say. The Heartbreak Kid loved ya … ‘cause no matter how hard they tried -- the flamboyance, the boyish good looks, the charisma -- you simply wouldn’t allow another man to steal The Showstopper’s spotlight, to hijack The Headliner’s GOD - GIVEN - RIGHT … to main event. No… you actually made ‘em work. You actually made them find their own voice … their own personality … leaving ‘Aitch-Bee-Kay STILL the singles greatest sports entertainer the world has EVER seen.

~ Bit more of a mixed reaction this time, with a large portion of the audience still firmly behind Michaels, though with a few more booing.

Shawn Michaels: Then … then a new chapter began. Someone else’s story needed to be written. I switched on the TV … turned on Friday Night SmackDown!, and I heard- I heard the screams … the sounds of thousands upon thousands of pre-pubescent little girls.

~ Shawn brings the mic from his mouth, and just takes a second to close his eyes, seemingly casting his mind back to a time long gone. The Heartbreak Kid then brings the mic back up, eyes still closed.

Shawn Michaels:
And that’s when I knew that I’d lost ya. That’s when I knew that you … each and every one of you … had betrayed The Heartbreak Kid.

~ The Showstopper’s eyes burn as he opens them.

Shawn Michaels: You never loved him for his ability … you never loved him for what he represented … you loved The Headliner … ‘cause let’s face it … he looked so, damn, good.

~ Michaels calmly rubs his left eye, methodical.

Shawn Michaels: It sure as hell ain’t 1996 anymore and your beloved Heartbreak Kid just isn’t the same fresh-faced 30-year old he was back then, huh? Girls have ta’ look to another superstar -- from a new generation -- to fantasize about each and every night. Guys have to find another pin-up to idolize … to base themselves on, TO WISH, THEY, WERE … and let’s be honest … that ain’t The Heartbreak Kid anymore. Yeah… his hair’s a little thinner… yeah, his body’s a little more worn down… and that- that was enough.
That was enough for the cheers to decrease … the popularity to slide … the merchandise to stop a-comin’. I haven’t heard girlish screams like I did that day when I switched on the TV since the day I broke my back ENTERTAININ’ YOU PEOPLE!!

~ Crowd lets out a loud batch of heat, as Michaels shows some real signs of anger towards them, gritting his teeth.

Shawn Michaels: S

~ After the breath barely escapes his body, a mixed “CENA” chants cuts HBK off. After five or so seconds of duelling, it finally dies down and the man who put Cena on the shelf brings the mic back up.

Shawn Michaels: Exactly. So the day I stood in the ring -- for the first time ever -- The Royal Rumble … across from the man I’d heard the thousands upon thousands screamin’ for on Friday Night SmackDown! … that was the day I knew what had to be done.

~ Boss, as Shawn brings out … Cena’s still bloody dog tags; “Oh God” - Styles.

Shawn Michaels: John Cena is your new poster boy. YOU chose him! THEY chose him! Over ME! So… what’s left for The Heartbreak Kid in this business anymore? If Cena is what you want… then Cena … is all you’re gonna get!!

~ The sudden spewing of venom from the lips of HBK surprises a few in the crowd initially, before it degenerates into another mixed reaction.

Shawn Michaels: John Cena stole everything I was. The looks … the charm … the charisma … the rebellion … the grit … HE’S A THIEF!! But y’know what? I don’t even care anymore. He’s welcome to it … and you’re welcome to him. ‘Cause I am DONE with The Heartbreak Kid … I am DONE with The Showstopper, The Headliner, The Main Event. But most of all…

~ Michaels brings his hand up, pointing across at all the crowd.

Shawn Michaels: I am DONE with each… and every… one of you.

~ Thunderous boos

Shawn Michaels: You chose your side… and, in doing so, you drove a final stake through the heart, ha… (scoffs) of your once so dear Heart, break, Kid.
So I hope you all enjoy John Cena while he lasts… and don’t even think about comin’ runnin’ back to me… ‘cause at Vengeance … I drive the final stake through HIS heart.

~ More boos from the crowd, as Shawn looks right at the hard camera when he says it.

Shawn Michaels: Congratulations, John … you finally stopped my show.

~ Michaels steps back from the microphone to indicate that he’s done, leaving a rather stunned J.R. holding the thing. No music hits, and the crowd barely knows how to respond, as Shawn calmly leaves the ring he way he entered it. He walks slowly down the ring steps, stopping momentarily to stare at a little kid in the front row giving him the thumbs down. Michaels removes his hat and runs a hand through his hair.

Joey Styles:
Jesus, what the hell is Shawn Michaels doing!?



Joey Styles and the crowd go absolutely MENTAL as Angle makes a psychotic beeline for Michaels... WHO SUDDENLY GRABS THE KID OUT OF THE FRONT ROW, DRAGGING HIM UP, AND USING HIM AS HUMAN SHIELD FOR GOD’S SAKE!!


Oh he’s a heel, people, he’s a heel alright. Vegas can’t even boo, such is the shock, but instead scream wildly in fear for the child’s safety, as the little sprog trembles in Michael’s tight clutches, and Angle grinds to a halt, stunned by what has transpired!

Jonathan Coachman:
That kid’s trying to get an autograph! How inappropriate!

Joey Styles:
Are you serious, Coach!?

A small, deranged smile forms on the face of the man formerly known as HBK, and the camera manages to catch what he mouths to the Olympic Gold Medallist, “What the fuck are you gonna do now, tough guy?”

Joey Styles:
Jesus Christ, just walk away, Kurt, just walk away for God’s sake! It isn’t worth this- thank God.

The security guards quickly jump on Angle, who puts up no resistance whatsoever; he just continues to stare, open mouthed at the man who used to be The Heartbreak Kid!

Jonathan Coachman:
Kurt Angle will do anything to get Shawn’s autograph, won’t he?

Smiling, Michaels returns the terrified kid back to his sit in the front row and ruffles his hair playfully. He gives the boy a little wink and even places his cowboy hat upon his head, saying, “That was fun, wasn’t it?” He then turns and, accompanied by a few remaining security guards, heads back up the ramp.

Joey Styles:
We’ve seen some disgusting things from Shawn Michaels in 2006, but that- that beats them all. I am in shock!

Jonathan Coachman
I think we all are, Joey! Fancy Kurt Angle trying to push ahead of that kid in the line to get Shawn Michaels’ autograph!? Despicable!

Jim Ross:
(Rejoining) Would you shut up, Coach!? I hope to God that there’s at least a little piece of the old Shawn Michaels left inside this- this monster, and he would never have hurt a hair on that kid’s head!

Joey Styles
I hope so too, J.R…

At the top of the ramp Shawn Michaels stops for a moment, turning to give the amazed fans a bizarre little boo, before turning on his heel and disappearing through the curtain…


*Backstage - Interview Area*

The WWE Women’s Champion Mickie James is just joining Todd Grisham.

Todd Grisham:
And we are back with you now on a shocking Monday Night Raw, and here is(Mickie pulls out a piece of paper) the Women’s Champion Mickie James. What’s up?

Mickie James:
Ummmm, I don’t know if anybody’s seen this, but I just took this got this off FOX News… (reading) “In Los Angeles, California, WWE Diva Victoria was arrested to for attacking her barber for overchargin’ her… Trish Stratus was picked up after, uhm, hanging out on a street corner in Toronto, Canada, if you know what I mean… and that now means that the WWE is gonna have to suspend both ladies indefinitely, leaving Women’s Champion Mickie James, once again, without a challenger!”

~ Boos, as Mickie laugh hysterically, throwing the bogus report in Grisham’s face.

Mickie James:
Okay, okay, okay, so maybe I exaggerated the details a teensy little bit. (Finger on lips) Oops. Have I been a naughty girl, Todd? Is someone gonna punish me? Perhaps they are … but it isn’t gonna be “Bitchtoria” or Trish “Fatus” … they’ve had their chances to become the number one contender two weeks runnin’, and they still couldn’t get the job done!! So, y’know what that means? It means because they couldn’t get the job done … they’re done instead!! Understand, ladies? I’ll make it real clear for you both … no more title shots! That means no more chances for you, Vicky … and that means no rematch for you, Trishy baby. Mickie James is movin’ on to bigger and better things … and sadly, girls … that just isn’t you anymore.

~ Mickie runs her fingers through her hair.

Mickie James:
But don’t worry, ladies and gentlemen … I haven’t forgotten what this show is … it’s a professional wrestling show, I know that … and I WILL defend my Women’s Title once every thirty days like the rulebook says. ‘Cause let’s face it … it would just be plain harsh of me to deprive all those lustful men out there … and women of course … who tune in just to see my pretty self each and every week, now wouldn’t it?

~ She pats her belt.

Mickie James:
So … next week, I have spoken to Eric Bischoff’s liaison, Miss Torrie Wilson … and she has informed me that next week I can defend my title against an opponent … of MY choosing … while at Vengeance, I’ll be facin’ … someone new … but someone who is definitely NOT Trish Stratus or Victoria. Being the best in the world, I of course welcome the challenge. Doesn’t that… doesn’t that just warm your heart, Toddy?

~ Mickie plays with his tie, as ‘Cool’ hits in the background.

Mickie James:
Guess she got out after all. Chow, Todd.

~ Sarcastically blowing him a kiss, Mickie slinks away, leaving Grisham fumbling.

Todd Grisham:
Uh … uh … Mickie James there, the Women’s Champion. Let’s get back down to ringside.

*Back to ringside*

3 - Money in the Bank Contract On The Line
Carlito ‘defends’ against Gregory Helms

*If Carlito is counted out, disqualified wins, or anyone interferes on his behalf, he will forfeit the Money in the Bank contract to Helms*

Despite his trepidation, it’s Carlito who comes out first, immediately applying the rear waistlock, which Helms quickly reverses, before Carly switches it again, going after the arm. He takes Greg down onto his back … only for Helms to nip right back up and grab ‘Lito’s arm, before sweeping his legs, looking for a lateral press … which Mr. Money in the Bank escapes instantly, sweeping Helms’ legs and looking for a cover, but Greg escapes, jumps to his feet … and we have a thrilling standoff!!

Las Vegas stands and applauds the outstanding athleticism of thw two young men, which Gregory Helms seems to appreciate, giving them an arrogant little smile, whilst an out of breath Carlito just looks more frustrated. He gives Helms a quick shove, before hammering away at him with some cheap left hands! Taking the former Hurricane into the ropes, he goes for the Irish whip … but Helms reverses it, sending Carly into the ropes … AND WIPES HIM OUT WITH A SPINNING WHEEL KICK!!

Before Helms can go for the cover, ‘Lito rolls under the bottom rope. Helms quickly nails him with baseball slide, before LAUNCHING HIMSELF CRASHING ONTO CARLITO WITH A PLANCHA!! The crowd comes alive, as Greg rolls a groggy Mr. Money in the Bank back inside the ring. Helms scurries up top, as Carlito stumbles up … TAKING HIM DOWN WITH A MISSILE DROPKICK!!! ‘Lito’s head bounces off the canvas, making him easy prey for a quick cover. 1... 2... NO!!

Heading up top once more, Helms waits for Carlito to get back up … BEFORE SOARING THROUGH THE AIR WITH A FLYING CROSSBODY - AND CONNECTING!! 1... 2... NO!!

Helms quickly presses the advantage, laying into ‘Lito in the corner with right hands, before backing off and charging … only for CCC to swing his legs up and over, rolling Greg up, grabbing him in a side headlock and taking him into the ropes. Helms shoves Carlito away into the opposite set and drops down to his front as ‘Lito skips over him, hitting the other ropes again … AND GETS MONKEY FLIPPED HEAD OVER HEELS!! The former Intercontinental and United States Champion stumbles against the ropes … AS HELMS CHARGES -- BUT CARLY LOW BRIDGES HIM TO THE OUTSIDE!!

A desperate Mr. Money in the Bank quickly puts the hurtin’ on his opponent, hammering away on him on the outside, as well as SLAMMING poor Gregory Helms into the steel steps. Back inside the ring it’s much the same, with Carlito sending Helms into the ropes and knocking him right back down with a vicious reverse elbow, followed by another cover. 1... 2... NO!!

Still nervous and angry as hell, ‘Lito continues beating on Helms in the corner, even being admonished by the official, who reminds him what will happen should he be disqualified. Carlito angrily argues with the referee, before taking Helms up and over with a nice vertical suplex, going for another lateral press. 1... 2... NO!! After a few more shots, Carly hits a slam in the middle of the ring, before racing ahead … SPRINGBOARDING OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE WITH A MOONSAULT - NAILING HELMS!!! He hooks the leg. 1... 2... NO!!

Grabbing Helms’ head, Carlito applies the reverse chinlock down on the canvas for a while, yelling at his enemy to
“Give it up!” Helms makes it to the ropes though, and a boiling mad Nr. Money in the Bank tests referee Chad Patton’s five count to the dot.

Dragging Helms across the ring, he slingshots him into the bottom rope throat-first, before stomping away some more. He sticks his boot right across the oesophagus of Gregory Helms, trying to choke the life out of him, using the ropes for extra leverage, which Chad Patton quickly puts a stop to. He tells Carlito,
“Knock it off, or I’ll disqualify you!” ‘Lito replies with an angry “Shut Up!” As the crowd gets on his case, Carlito goes back after Helms, who has rolled out onto the apron. Helms catches him with a quick shoulder to the gut, before propelling himself over the top with sunset flip … CATCHING CARLITO!! 1... 2... NO!!

A furious Carlito gets in Patton’s face, admonishing him for what he deemed to be a fast count

Shaking away the cobwebs, the second member of Team RAW at ECW One Night Stand quickly applies a leg submission down on the mat, trying to take away some of Helms’ speedy offense. Helms eventually makes it to the ropes, and a bitter Carlito lifts him up, hammering him some more. Helms manages to fight back with some shots of his own … but ‘Lito quickly dropkicks his knee out from under him.

Carlito goes right back after the leg, showing, for all his petulant idiocy, a great deal of intelligence. He tugs away at the knee of Helms on the canvas, until a desperate challenger manages to kick him away. Back on his feet, Gregory Helms has a serious limp
… and Carlito quickly takes advantage with another low dropkick. He hyper-extends Helms’ leg at a very uncomfortable looking angle. He even uses the ropes sneakily on a few occasions for some extra leverage behind the ref’s back, before Helms eventually makes it to the ropes. Lifting him up, Carlito delivers a few more shots before going for the Irish whip. Helms reverses it and lowers his head for the back body drop … which Carlito somersaults over athletically, turning -- BAM!!! RIGHT INTO A SUPERKICK!!!

Las Vegas erupts, as both men lie down and out for a few moments. When they finally make it to their feet they trade right and left hands furiously in the middle of the ring, with Helms actually getting the better of the exchange. He sends Carlito crashing into the corner before ELEVATING HIM RIGHT UP INTO THE LIGHTS WITH A BACK BODY DROP!! After knocking ‘Lito back down with a clothesline, Helms hooks him up … nailing a beautiful vertical suplex, with a float over. 1... 2... NO!!

The crowd gasps, as Helms shakes his head, grabs Carlito’s, and walks up the second turnbuckle with no hands … HITTING THE OVERCAST NECKBREAKER!! Helms connects with the spectacular manoeuvre, with Carlito flat on the canvas, clean out, with Helms making a cover. 1... 2... NO!!

Another groan from the crowd, but young Gregory doesn’t seem perturbed. As he lifts Carlito up -- the Caribbean superstar takes himself up onto Helms’ shoulders in the electric chair position … HE SPINS AROUND -- HELMS COUNTERS WITH A RUNNING LIGER BOMB!!!! The Hurricane pulls both legs back, and the count is made!!




Gasps ring out as Carlito somehow survives, but it doesn’t look as though he has much left. Pulling a woozy Carlito up, Helms goes for a kick to the gut -- but Carly catches his foot -- ENZIGUIRI FROM HELMS!! Carlito is rocked!! He goes down hard, and Helms comes off the ropes … SHINING WIZARD -- NO, CARLITO GETS THE HELL OUT OF THE RING!!

The crowd boos as Helms kicks nothing but air and a desperate Carlito looks around wildly on the floor for something to help save the match. Back in the ring, Chad Patton begins the count … 1 … 2 … This really snaps CCC out of it, as he remembers the stipulation attached to the contest and begins fumbling around … 3 … 4 … 5 … Helms arrogantly lies across the top turnbuckle with his feet up, counting along with the ref and the crowd … 6 … 7 … Wildly, Carlito rushes over to the timekeeper, throwing him aside and grabbing his Money in the Bank briefcase … 8 … Carlito rolls back inside the ring and makes a beeline for Helms with the briefcase, as Greg stands there pointing to his chin … but Chad Patton pulls the weapon away before it can be used.

Helms smirks, as Patton turns, handing the briefcase back through the ropes … AND CARLITO KICKS HELMS RIGHT IN THE CROTCH WITH A LOW BLOW!!!
The crowd goes NUTS, as Helms slumps in agony … AND CARLITO CRADLES HIM … AS CHAD PATTON TURNS AROUND!!






Winner - And STILL Mr. Money in the Bank -- Carlito @ 11:23.

CARLITO STEALS IT!!! The crowd response is rather hostile as one would expect, as Carlito grabs his briefcase off Chad Patton, basically falls out of the ring, and stumbles back up the ramp as quickly as possible, gasping for breath.

Jim Ross: AW DAMMIT!!! I DON’T- I DON’T BELIEVE THIS!!! That- that little- that little snake just stole the victory and the Money in the Bank briefcase yet again!!!

Jonathan Coachman: HE DID IT!!!
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!! I knew he could it!! Despite all of the odds stacked against him by that biased lunatic Mick Foley, my boy Carlito was still able to overcome and keep his guaranteed World Title shot where it belongs, BAY-BAY!!!

Joey Styles: Anyone would think he just won the main event of WrestleMania!! Coach … he just kicked a man below the belt to win the damn match!! What the hell’s wrong with you!?

Jonathan Coachman: What the hell are you talkin’ about, Joey!? That was a skilful thrust kick to the abdomen!!

Joey Styles: Oh for the love of- I’m actually working with a moron.

Jim Ross: Be that as it may, Joey, we can rest safe in knowin’ that for Carlito at least, this night is far from over. He might still have that Money in the Bank contract in his possession, but there’s a new sheriff in tow, an ECW Commissioner to be exact. We’re gonna find out his identity by the end of the show … and you have to believe he’s gonna make that young man’s life a living hell!!

Joey Styles: I’ll drink to that. Mick Foley, don’t let us down now. I want to see that smug smile wiped right off Carlito’s face forever.

Jim Ross: I can safely say we’d all love to see that, Joey.

Jonathan Coachman: Speak for yourself, J.R.!!

Jim Ross: Oh for- Coach, could ya try to keep quiet for the rest of the show?? Please??

At the top of the ramp, on the stage, Carlito is met by first Chris Masters, who hugs his buddy excitedly, before Torrie Wilson comes running out, jumping around with Carlito like a little schoolgirl, even giving him a very friendly hug, which they both quickly part from, embarrassed.

Joey Styles: Oh for crying out- Is there nothing that little S.O.B can’t seem to get his hands on these days?? First the Money in the Bank briefcase, and now he’s getting overly friendly hugs from the beautiful Torrie Wilson!! What gives?? I hope Eric Bischoff knows what his ‘special little girl’ is getting up to behind his–

Jonathan Coachman: I’m not sure I like what you’re insinuating, Joey Styles!

Jim Ross: And now, let’s come to ringside, with Todd Grisham and The Game

*Backstage - Interview Area*

Todd Grisham has ‘The Game’ Triple H with him.

Todd Grisham:
Alright, Hunter, later tonight, here in Las Vegas, you meet Kurt Angle and the WWE Champion The Big Show.

~ Trips nods.

Triple H:
Before I answer that, Todd, I’d just like to address what went down part way through the show. (Faces the camera) Shawn, I know you, or at least I thought I did … but what you did … you’ve gone way past the line, pal. Now you gone and placed a bull’s-eye on your own chest … ‘cause it’s not just Kurt Angle and John Cena who are gonna’ be gunnin’ for you after today, Shawn.

~ Good pop

Triple H:
Y’know, I see Kurt Angle come out here at the start of the show and call … The King of Kings Triple H out for a fight. Now, just speaking as a fan of professional wrestling for a moment, I know the whole world was dying to see The Game and The Wrestling Machine go at it. It’s the kind of thing that, as a professional, it gets your juices flowing … it gets you amped … gets you hyped.

~ Hunter leers at the camera.

Triple H:
Well, this time around … in the main event tonight … you don’t have to worry about being disappointed again, ‘cause not only are you gonna see The Game and the Olympic Gold Medallist tear each other apart in a ring for the first time since January … you’re gonna get to see me get my hands on a man- wait, on a giant … who seems to think that the only way to get ahead in this business is by putting your hands on 90lb women … and by jumpin’ people in parking lots and kidknapping them!!

~ H simmers with anger.

Triple H:
Big Show … you might be the WWE Champion … you might have the best right hand in the business, but what you do not have is the fire to be the absolute, very best in the business that I have, and -- God help me for sayin’ it -- and that Kurt Angle has!

~ Small pop

Triple H:
Because, big man, guys like you … with that ghost faced, fat son of a bitch manager that tells you which spoon to use when you eat your breakfast … guys like you don’t have to work as hard to make it to the top. Hell, you’re seven foot tall for cryin’ out loud, what in the hell have you ever had to work for in your life? But tonight … May 22nd … right here in Las Vegas, Nevada, the home of sin … you’re gonna have to work for somethin’. ‘Cause, big man, if you think you’re walkin’ out of here with that title belt -- MY title belt -- around your fat waist … you’ve got another thing coming. You are gonna have to KILL ME if you want to leave as champion.

~ Helmsley points threateningly.

Triple H:
‘Cause it’s time for the King to go back on his thrown. For too long now, The Game has been without championship gold … but that’s all gonna change tonight. Tonight I take back what is rightfully mine and show the world that what they’ve been seein’ since WrestleMania Twenty-One is nothin’ but a line of pretenders. I’m the real deal, I’m the man, I am the benchmark in this industry, I am The Game, and I am … that … damn … good!

~ All fired up, The Cerebral Assassin marches off.

Todd Grisham:
That’s our main event tonight in Las Vegas. Coming up next, The Redneck Wrecking Crew, Cade ‘n’ Murdoch.


4 - Tag Team Match
The Redneck Wrecking Crew
vs. Gray Washington & Samuel Kent

Having run through the entire tag team division on Raw except for the current World Tag Team Champions, Cade ‘n’ Murdoch get the week off essentially, as the annihilate a couple of jobbers old school NWA style. It comes down to Mr. Washington getting admonished by the official for illegally entering the ring, whilst behind the referee’s back, Cade delivers the boot to Mr. Kent’s gut and Murdoch quickly enters the ring. The Redneck Wrecking Crew then sprint opposite ways, bounce off the ropes, come back, and TAKE KENT OUT WITH THE SWEET ‘N’ SOUR!!! Murdoch then pins Kent for the academic three count.

Winners - The Redneck Wrecking Crew via pin fall at 2:11.

After the match, the referee
tries to raise Cade ‘n’ Murdoch’s hands, but the two rednecks shove him away, instead motioning that the belts belong around their waists.

Jim Ross:
Yet another victory here for Cade ‘n’ Murdoch. They’ve only lost one match all year, and that, unfortunately for them, was for the World Tag Team titles.

Jonathan Coachman
And that was under extremely dubious circumstances, J.R. I mean, how convenient was it that Shelton Benjamin recovered jump Trevor Murdoch all of a sudden?

Joey Styles
Well, these two have let it be known that they’re looking for a fight. It can be for the tag team titles, or it can be with these “ECW Invaders”, as they’ve been dubbed. Cade ‘n’ Murdoch are quite simply on the warpath!!

*Backstage - Interview Area*

Microphone in hand, Todd Grisham stands by.

Todd Grisham:
Monday Night Raw continues, and let’s bring in … the former WWE Champion, Kurt Angle.

~ Dressed to compete, Kurt Angle enters the screenshot.

Kurt Angle:
Y’know, Todd, I don’t really have a lot to say right now after what happened earlier involving Shawn Michaels. Unlike some people I prefer to do my talkin’ in the ring. That’s how I’m going to let the world know how I feel about Michaels and about losing MY WWE Title to that five-hundred pound piece of crap last week by breakin’ his damn ankle!!

~ Crowd pops

Kurt Angle:
Because let me be perfectly clear … Big Show, I hope you enjoyed your seven days in the sun … ‘cause tonight, Kurt Angle takes back what is his … and y’know somethin’? After what I’ve just seen … I just might kill someone tonight … and it might as well be that son of a bitch Hunter Hearst Helmsley and anybody else who wants to try and stop me!! Oh, it’s true!

~ Angle pops in his mouthguard.

Kurt Angle:

~ He throws some water over his head, before heading off camera.

Todd Grisham:
Okay, Kurt Angle with us, right here on Monday Night Raw. Let’s go to a commercial…

*Video Plays*

Narrator: It started out as a dream …

RVD flying over the ropes into Jerry Lynn.

Narrator: That became a reality …

Mike Awesome powerbombing Masato Tanaka.

Narrator: Last year the dream was relived …

Tommy Dreamer crashing through the flaming table.

Narrator: This year it will be reborn …

Sandman brawling through the crowd.

Narrator: This year ‘Extreme’ will live again …

Taz Tazplexing Shane Douglas.

Narrator: This year sees the return …

Sabu killing himself almost, as a voices echoes out.

“Of …”

Quick, wild shots of Dreamer, Sandman, RVD, Funk, Taz, Sabu and Awesome.

“… ECW.”

“ECW One Night Stand, June 11th, 8/7CT, live on pay-per-view”

*End video*


5 - Main Event; WWE Championship; Three Way Dance
The Big Show w/Paul Bearer defends against Kurt Angle and Triple H

The crowd are on the edge of their seats, buzzing for the second WWE Title Match in as many weeks, as the three combatants, all multiple-time World Champions in their own right, begin to step toward the centre of the ring.

Kurt Angle and Triple H seem, unsurprisingly, rather fixated on one another instead of the gargantuan WWE Champion. Angle begins to talk some serious trash to Hunter; considering it was just seven days ago that The Game cost Kurt the title, can you blame him? Both men’s attention soon turns to quarter ton mastodon standing nearby -- BUT BIG SHOW ATTACKS THEM BOTH FIRST!!

The giant lays into both of his challengers with right hands, anticipating a possible alliance against him, and he is soon proved to be correct, as Trips and Angle return fire on the beast. ‘Show comes right back at them though, and it takes an almighty effort, a flurry of fists, knees and elbows from Helmsley and Angle to overwhelm the new WWE Champion back against the ropes. Shooting the monster across the ring, the two challengers go for a double clothesline -- BUT ‘SHOW BREAKS RIGHT THROUGH IT … AND FLATTENS BOTH MEN WITH A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE OF HIS OWN!!

After tossing both men into the corner, “Stackin’ ‘em up like cordwood” as J.R. would say, ‘Show builds up a head of steam and CRUSHES his two challengers in one horrible sandwich!! Wasting absolutely no time, the World’s Largest Athlete applies a double front face lock, grabbing both men … LOOKING FOR A DOUBLE VERTICAL SUPLEX - BLOCKED! Angle and Hunter refuse to budge, shifting their combined weight to outdo the giant … and LIFT HIM UP AND OVER FOR AN INCREDIBLE, RING SHAKING DOUBLE VERTICAL SUPLEX!!

Both Angle and Trips clamber back up, looking all fired up … BUT BIG SHOW IS ALREADY BACK UP!! ‘Show roars at the two men to “C’MON!!” … causing his two challengers to glance at one another … before racing ahead … and KNOCKING BIG SHOW THROUGH THE ROPES TO THE OUTSIDE!!

The crowd cheers, but Angle and Helmsley don’t have time to celebrate, as THEY BEGIN GOING AT IT IN THE CENTRE OF THE RING!!

Trading blows, Kurt looks to be getting the best of it, until Hunter cuts him off with a knee to the gut. Sending the former WWE Champion into the ropes, Triple H throws a clothesline, but Angle ducks underneath it, grabs Hunter … and GOES FOR A GERMAN SUPLEX!!

Hunter manages to block though, grabbing the top rope and shrugging Kurt off backwards. Angle pops back up to his feet, charges, ducks the first swipe of The Game, hits the ropes, and ducks a second swing … before WIPING BIG SHOW OUT WITH A BASEBALL SLIDE THROUGH THE ROPES!!

As Angle gets all fired up on the outside, he tries to pull the dazed WWE Champion back up to his feet -- BUT GETS FLATTENED BY A CLOTHESLINE FROM TRIPLE H!!

The King Of Kings stands over both men, but chooses the champion himself, dragging Big Show up and managing to shove the 500lber back into the ring, before quickly rolling back in and making the cover. 1... 2... NO!! Showing his credentials, the Cerebral Assassin has ‘Show right back up, laying into him with more right hands in the corner, before Angle stumbles up behind him spinning him around, only to receive a boot to the gut for his troubles.

Trips sends Kurt into the far corner and heads over … JUST AS BIG SHOW CHARGES -- HUNTER MOVES … ‘SHOW CRUSHES ANGLE INSTEAD … AND TRIPLE H ROLLS THE CHAMPION UP!! 1... 2... NO!!

Having nearly won his eleventh title with his unbelievable ring savvy, The Game affords himself a little smirk, before pulling Big Show back up and hammering away on the giant with more hard right hands with that infamous taped fist … to NO effect. Looking slightly concerned, Helmsley turns and hits the ropes –- BUT ‘SHOW TAKES HIS HEAD OFF WITH A BIG BOOT!!

Paul Bearer gushes at ringside, as Big Show glowers over the ropes, catching his breath. Grabbing Angle, ‘Show hurls him across the ring with an Irish Whip into the far corner, before racing in after him … but Kurt gets a boot up, knocking the giant away, allowing Angle to quickly rush up behind the WWE Champion, GOING FOR THE ANGLE SLAM -- but ‘Show is just too heavy … and he quickly spins around … ANNIHILATING KURT WITH A CLOTHESLINE!!

Angle goes down like a ton of bricks and ‘Show bounces off the ropes, CRUSHING THE OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALLIST WITH A 500LB LEG DROP!!

Sensing an elimination, the giant, instead of going for a cover, instead pulls Kurt back up, wrapping his hand around his throat, LOOKING FOR AN EARLY CHOKESLAM -- but Angle blocks it … quickly grabbing the ropes. From the outside, Triple H re-enters the ring, grabbing the WWE Champion from behind, trying to catch the giant with a surprise roll up … but ‘Show won’t budge!

Quickly grabbing Big Show’s head, Angle connects with a vicious European Uppercut … causing Show to SIT STRAIGHT DOWN ON HUNTER’S CHEST!! 1... 2... NO!!

Triple H somehow survives, as Big Show rolls off him, and, seeing an opening, Angle quickly covers a visibly exhausted champion. 1... 2... NO!!
Shaking his head, Angle pulls the man who ended his 5 month reign as WWE Champion last week up … LOOKING FOR THE ANGLE SLAM -- BUT TRIPLE H CLOTHESLINES HIM RIGHT DOWN OUT OF NOWHERE!!

Taking Show’s arm, Helmsley goes for the Irish Whip, but the giant reverses it, going for the back body drop -- BUT HUNTER NAILS THE FACECRUSHER … AND ANGLE IMMEDIATELY GRABS HIM FROM BEHIND AND PLANTS HIM WITH A GERMAN … AND BIG SHOW (who remained on his feet) WIPES ANGLE OUT WITH A THUNDEROUS SPEAR!!!

The arena stands and applauds in appreciation, while all three men lay out on the canvas, completely worn out.

The referee begins his ten count, and once he makes it to seven, Hunter stumbles back to his feet. Grabbing Big Show, the ten-time World Champion hammers away on the current WWE Champion in the corner with vicious right hands, until Angle stumbles back over, and The Game switches his attention to his occasional ally, sometimes enemy. Sending Kurt into the far corner, Helmsley races in, only to catch a back elbow to the face, knocking away. Quickly, The Wrestling Machine charges … but Triple H ducks down … lifting Angle up … and DRILLING HIM WITH A PERFECT ARN ANDERSON SPINEBUSTER!!

Hunter ROARS, popping right back up to his feet and throwing his arms out wide … before turning to SEE BIG SHOW CHARGE OUT OF THE CORNER -- HE GETS HIM UP (barely) … NAILING A HUMUNGOUS (sloppy) SPINEBUSTER TO THE WWE CHAMPION!!! 1... 2... NO!!

An exhausted Game can’t believe it, as he furiously drags the giant back up to his feet, backing him into the ropes with right hands. He tries to send the behemoth across the ring … but Big Show reverses … and CATCHES HUNTER … SQUASHING HIM WITH A SIDEWALK SLAM!! 1... 2... NO!!

Angrily, Big Show drags Triple H’s limp form over to the corner… before the 500lber actually BEGINS TO CLIMB THE TURNBUCKLE!

As ‘Show makes it to the top, causing the entire bloody ring to tremble in the process, The Game desperately makes it back up to his feet and cuts the giant off with a right hand. Hunter scrambles up after the mammoth WWE Champion, applying the front face lock … LOOKING TO SUPERPLEX THE WORLD’S LARGEST ATHLETE … but ‘Show SHOVES HIM OFF … only for Helmsley to SPRING RIGHT BACK UP FOR A SECOND ATTEMPT … but this time Big Show pie faces him back down and TRIPLE H LANDS RIGHT ON HIS HEAD!!

The crowd
“ooh’s” and “ah’s”, as The King Of Kings clutches his neck gingerly, and Big Show climbs down to the second buckle, leaping off … and NAILING THE ONCOMING KURT ANGLE WITH A MASSIVE AXE HANDLE SMASH!! 1... 2... NO!!

Dragging The Wrestling Machine back to his feet, Big Show tosses him into the ropes, before bending down, going for a back body drop -- BUT ANGLE DIVES OVER WITH A SUNSET FLIP … BIG SHOW SITS DOWN … LOOKING TO CRUSH KURT’S CHEST … BUT THE OLYMPIAN MOVES!! Big Show jars his spine and tries to get back up

With his deadly hold lock in, Angle gets back up to his feet, and begins to cinch in the hold, while the behemoth WWE Champion bellows in pain

The Big Show begins to crawl towards the ropes, using his massive strength to pull the smaller man along with him … but we are greatly underestimating the former champion … as Angle DRAGS HIM BACK TO THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!!

Show tries to kick Kurt away … BUT ANGLE HOLDS DOGGEDLY!! Frothing at the mouth, Angle screams for the giant to

Hunter falls down, hooking the far leg, looking to eliminate Angle from the match!






The crowd split, right down the middle between The Game and the Olympic Gold Medallist, delivers a STRONG mixed reaction, as Triple H runs his fingers through his hair, glowering at the official.

Roaring into the crowd, Helmsley quickly turns his attention to the WWE Champion, dragging The Big Show back up to his feet and sticking his massive head between his legs … GOING FOR ANOTHER PEDIGREE … but the giant blocks it!! Pulling his head back up, Show trades right hands with The Game, eventually beginning to get the better of the smaller man thanks to his enormous cranium. He begins to size Hunter up for that right hand … LOW BLOW FROM ANGLE!! The crowd pops, as Big Show’s eyes bulge and he slumps, allowing Trips to grab his head and arms once again - LEAPING UP - DRILLING THE WWE CHAMPION WITH THE PEDIGREE!!!!!

We could have our first elimination…


Boos ring out through the arena, as Triple H holds his head in his hands, as pissed as pissed can be, staring out at Bearer and Show on the outside, not noticing Angle approaching from behind, and is too late.

Kurt grabs The Game …
before PLANTING HUNTER WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX!! The crowd gives a thunderous mixed reaction, but Angle holds on like a pit-bull. He lifts Trips up… and DRILLS HIM WITH A SECOND GERMAN… before picking him up a third time … AND CONNECTS WITH A THIRD GERMAN!!

Pulling his straps down, an intense Kurt Angle waits, poised, stamping his feet like a mad man, as an extremely groggy Triple H staggers back up to his feet … and Angle LIFTS HIM UP … GOING FOR THE ANGLE SLAM -- but Hunter races backwards … CRUSHING ANGLE IN THE CORNER!!

Turning around, Helmsley begins to lay into the former WWE Champion with more hard right hands, before muscling The Wrestling Machine up to the top turnbuckle and climbing up after him, looking to apply the front face lock, GOING FOR A SUPERPLEX … BUT ANGLE SHOVES HIM BACK DOWN TO THE CANVAS!!


The crowd absolutely ERUPTS at the sight of manoeuvre, as Angle writhes in pain, struggling with all his might to escape the hold he knows better than any!! Triple H wrenches back … BUT ANGLE MANAGES TO GET HIS LEFT FOOT UNDER THE BOTTOM ROPE!!

Snarling, The Game quickly grabs Angle’s arm again, dragging The Wrestling Machine back to the centre of the ring, dropping down, and LOCKING IN THE CROSSFACE ONCE AGAIN … BUT ANGLE SUDDENLY FLIPS HIS BODY OVER … ROLLING TRIPLE H UP WITH THE BANANA SPLIT CRADLE OUT OF NOWHERE!!!!!




Eliminated - HHH by Angle @ 10:36.

Another HUGE mixed reaction fills the arena, as Triple H sits up in shock, hands on head, unable to believe what just happened. Arguing with the official, Helmsley looks ready to blow a gasket, as he takes a step towards a recovering Kurt Angle, perhaps with some evil intentions toward the man who just eliminated him. Mike Chioda puts a stop to that though.

Reluctantly, The Game leaves the ring and skulks back up the ramp, glowering back down Angle.
Finally recovered, Angle heads outside, shoves Paul Bearer aside, and shoves The Big Show back inside the ring.


Having come that close to recapturing his WWE Title, Angle quickly presses the advantage; he drags the giant up, rocking him with a hard European Uppercut, before swinging behind … GETTING THE 500LBER UP … AND NAILING THE ANGLE SLAM!!!!!

Kurt struggles over hooking the leg, as the crowd chants along!





Gasps and groans reverberate around the building, as Angle hangs his head in dismay. Angrily, the Olympian drags his gigantic nemesis back up to his feet, goes behind, before GOING FOR POSSIBLY THE BIGGEST GERMAN SUPLEX OF ALL TIME -- BUT JUST LIKE LAST WEEK … BIG SHOW IS TOO HEAVY … AND LANDS ON TOP OF ANGLE!! 1 … 2 … NO!!

A collective sigh of relief runs through the audience, as a desperate Angle just manages to get his shoulder up. Scowling down at the former champion, Big Show STEPS on the grounded Angle, CRUSHING the man’s chest with all of his incredible weight!!

As Angle gasps, Big Show drags him back up, measures him, and GOES FOR THE RIGHT HAND -- but Angle ducks and goes behind … BRINGING THE GIANT CRASHING OVER WITH A SECOND (messy) ANGLE SLAM!!!!!





More boos begin to ring out fast and furious, as Kurt gives Mike Chioda the dirtiest look he can muster. Pulling ‘Show up, a manic Angle begins to lay into the giant with a series of stiff European Uppercuts, backing the WWE Champion into the ropes. Turning, Angle hits the ropes, looking for a bit more momentum -- BIG SHOW CATCHES HIM BY THE THROAT … LIFTS HIM UP FOR THE CHOKESLAM … AND HITS IT!!!!!


Big Show isn’t finished. Pulling down his single strap, the giant waits, confidently, his right fist clenched in anticipation, as Angle, after a long time, begins to struggle back up to his feet. Groggily, Angle stumbles up - BAM!!!!! ANGLE GETS FLATTENED BY A RIGHT HAND FROM SHOW, DAMN NEAR CAVING IN THE MAN’S JAW!!!


Paul Bearer cheers his giant on from ringside, as he drags the lifeless Olympic Gold Medallist over to the far corner, laying him out, before stepping over him and climbing the turnbuckle. Poised on the second buckle, Big Show bounces up and down a few times, before LEAPING OFF … CRUSHING ANGLE WITH A RING MOVING VADER BOMB!!!!!


Angle is basically out of it, but a sadistic Big Show decides he hasn’t done quite enough to the former champion and pulls him up, and leads him to the centre of the ring, where HE ANNIHILATES KURT ANGLE WITH A SECOND DESTRUCTIVE RIGHT HAND TO THE FACE!!!!!

This time there’s a cover. A satisfied and smirking Big Show slowly drops down, lazily hooking Angle’s far leg, as Bearer counts along at ringside!




Eliminated - Angle by Big Show @ 14:27.

Winner - AND STILL WWE CHAMPION -- The Big Show @ 14:27.

Boos fill the arena, as Big Show triumphantly raises his arms into the air, and Paul Bearer gleefully rolls into the ring with the WWE Championship belt, giddily handing it to his giant. ‘Show snatches his hand away from the official, who goes to check on a prone Kurt Angle, leaving the new WWE Champion to bask in the glory of his first title defence

(Clears throat) Woah, woah, woah, woah, hold- just hold on a second there, guys.

Our attention is grabbed by the sound emanating from the stage, where Mick Foley appears once again, dressed much like he was earlier in the night, in his brand new suit, clutching a microphone and a clipboard. The crowd cheers The Hardcore Legend, bur Bischoff et al look far from impressed.

Mick Foley:
Don’t- don’t be like that, fellas. Despite what you might think, I am not out here to rain on your parade. I simply want to congratulate you, Show, on another tremendous bit of business. C’mon, folks, let’s hear it for the WWE Champion!!

~ Resounding boos fill the arena, as Big Show smirks. Foley turns to leave but then turns back, reaching into his pocket.

Mick Foley:
Oh yeah (pulling out a piece of paper), yeah, and one more thing allow me to introduce to you Monday Night RAW’s new ECW Commissioner the man who will share power with Eric Bischoff up ‘til One Night Stand on June 11th!!

Bischoff’s crew look bemused, as Foley slowly holds his arm out, turning



What is this??? Who’s theme???




Joey Styles: OH MY GAWD!!!

As The Eagle’s beautiful, melancholic anthem reverberates around the arena, most of the crowd are confused (apart from a few well versed oldies), until a THUNDEROUS POP rips through the building as TERRY FUNK steps out onto the stage!!!

Jim Ross
TERRY FUNK! THE FUNKER! One of the greatest of all time!

Joey Styles:
A true ECW Legend!

Jonathan Coachman
Are you kidding me!? This is absolutely ridiculous!

Looking like a wonderful blend of his ECW and NWA glory days, Funk wears a cowboy hat and poncho, as he waves what looks like his infamous branding iron in the air to another great reception.

In the ring, Bischoff’s eyes have opened wide, whilst Paul Bearer screams like a little girl, trying vainly to hide behind his massive giant, as Funk, smirking in his usual sadistic, brilliant way, points down at the ring with his branding iron, whilst Foley laughs hysterically in the background. As the two old rivals and friends share a warm hug, Carlito and Bearer turn angrily to Bischoff in the corner of the ring, yelling, “What the hell is this, huh!?” Bischoff, however, looks absolutely petrified.

Jim Ross:
This is gonna be good!!

Jonathan Coachman
What!? Are you out of your mind, J.R.? This guy’s a lunatic!

Joey Styles:
You got that right, Coach! You wanted to get hardcore, well take a look at that man right there! That … is hardcore!!

As the crowd continues to go wild, the great music fades in the background, and Terry Funk takes the microphone from Foley, gazing up into the rafters as the “TERRY!” chants ring out. After a few moments, The Hardcore Living Legend holds his hand up for quiet, which he eventually receives, before bringing the mic up to speak.

Terry Funk:
… … …


Terry Funk:
First of all I would like to thank my great friend Mick Foley for such for such a wonderful introduction. (Turning) Thank you, Mick. Come on, let’s hear it for Mick Foley!!

~ As if we hadn’t had enough already tonight, the crowd erupts into another outburst of “FOLEY!” chants, as Mick waves his thanks to his fans and his friend.

Terry Funk: (Pointing down the ramp)
And as for you Eric, Bischoff.

~ The RAW GM’s eyes open even wider, as he looks around fearfully.

Terry Funk:
If anybody knows anything about Terry Funk they will know that there’s one thing in this world I hate above anything else and that’s cowards like YOU, Eric Bischoff, cowards who go around calling themselves men when in actual fact they’ve got great, bright, knee-tremblin’ yellow stripes runnin’ all the way down their back!!

~ OH!

Terry Funk:
Well, let me tell you something right now that stops TONIGHT, Bischoff! That stops right here right NOW! Because listen to me, Bischoff, you don’t have Stone Cold Steve Austin as your co-General Manager anymore you don’t even have my good friend here Mick Foley. No, you’re not that lucky, Bischoff, because instead of any of them you’ve got the most violent crazy sadistic old bastard who ever pulled on a pair of tights!! YOU HEAR ME, BISCHOFF!?

~ Bischoff looks about ready to faint, as the crowd roars.

Terry Funk:
Good. Because your days as General Manager? They are numbered, Bischoff. In just oh, I don’t know TWO WEEKS TIME we are going to be having ourselves a little get-together at the HammerStein Ballroom in New York City … for ECW’s One Night Stand.


Terry Funk:
And, Bischoff see, what I want you to do is really very simple. Just like Mick Foley said earlier tonight I want you to pick five of your very top guys -- five of the absolute best that Monday Night RAW has to offer -- ‘cause I want you to BRING ‘EM to New York City I want you to BRING ‘EM to the Hammerstein where I’m going to have five of MY very best there for you. You can see one of ‘em right now. You understand me, Bischoff?

~ Funk points at Angle... who nods exhaustedly. Looking a bit more interested, Bischoff stumbles out of the corner, approaching the ropes slowly.

Terry Funk:
One match! 5 on 5, Eric! All it takes is for one man to be pinned or made to submit, and it’s all over! You don’t just lose the match… you lose control!

~ Bischoff shakes his head at the very thought.

Terry Funk:
Bischoff, if Team RAW wins … ECW- ECW, the scourge of your very existence will be gone forever -- no more One Night Stand -- not even any private events -- and no more ex-ECW wrestlers working at all. Vince McMahon won’t even be able to bring us back, ‘cause we’ll be gone forever -- no more Sandman -- no more Tommy Dreamer -- no more Taz -- no more Mick Foley -- no more TERRY FUNK -- we’ll be out of your life for good, Bischoff.

~ Boos from the crowd, as a slight smirk starts to form at the corners of Bischoff’s mouth.

Terry Funk:
But but if we win, if ECW triumphs, if RAW loses then it’s your yellow hide that’s out of a job, Bischoff. Vince McMahon has already sanctioned it. What he will do is re-hire all of the great ECW wrestlers you have let go over the years -- the Tommy Dreamer’s, the Sandman’s -- every, single, one of them!

~ Bischoff’s face twists evilly at the thought.

Terry Funk:
… …And yes, Bischoff even ROB, VAN, DAM!!

~ A THUNDEROUS roar tears through the building, quickly followed by a series of very loud “RVD! RVD! RVD! RVD! RVD!” chants which bring a smile to the face of Funk and a hideous scowls to the visages of Bischoff, Bearer and, especially, Big Show.

Terry Funk:
It’s all going to be on the line, Bischoff. It only takes ONE MATCH, Bischoff! A match that you know well! The most famous match of all time! A MATCH the WWE has never, ever seen before! Down in ECW we know it as Ultimate Jeopardy but where you come from, Bischoff, where you made your name -- WCW -- it was known as THE WAR GAMES!!

An EXPLOSION, plain and simple, blows the roof off the joint! Any wrestling fan worth his salt knows of the War Games and it’s many incarnations across the globe, and the challenge is treated with the utmost respect.

Bischoff, running a hand over his grey muzzle, microphone in hand, eyes downcast, approaches the ropes slowly.

Eric Bischoff:
Terry Funk

~ Suddenly, Bischoff snaps his head up violently!

Eric Bischoff:

~ A loud pop greets Bischoff’s boldness, as he seethes over the ropes at Funk who just smiles right back rather oddly.

Terry Funk:
That’s, uh, great, Bischoff. Very brave of you. But I probably should have mentioned before -- this? This wasn’t a challenge. The match -- with all the stipulations I just mentioned – IT’S ALREADY BEEN SIGNED!!

Another epic pop greets that announcement, as Bischoff’s eyes open wide for a split second, before narrowing slowly on his enemy atop the ramp.

As the WWE Champion The Big Show and his manager Paul Bearer flank their General Manager on either side defensively, up on the stage a fiery Terry Funk is soon joined by all of the other ECW Invaders, weapons in hand, staring right back -- as the bemused Kurt Angle stands right in the middle.

Jim Ross:
Oh my God!! Ultimate Jeopardy!! ECW’s very own version of the War Games Match at One Night Stand!!

Jonathan Coachman:
This isn’t fair, this isn’t right!!

Joey Styles:
The Big Show was able to overcome both challengers tonight to retain the WWE Title, but with what we just heard from RAW’s new Co-General Manager Terry Funk, will Monday Nights ever be the same again!? My God, what a One Night Stand -- possibly the last one ever -- this is gonna be!! See ya next week, everybody!!

Raw goes off the air with a shot of Bischoff, holding his head down in the ring in complete disbelief.


Cut to video.

“Before ECW returns home to New York City, there is another home they must visit...”

Shot of the ECW Arena.

“The most iconic building this industry has ever known…”

Flashing clips of the ECW fans inside.

“…Is Reborn”

Shot of Triple H Tommy Dreamer amongst the masses as “This Is Extreme” plays.

“The Innovator of Violence Tommy Dreamer”

Shot of Dreamer cracking Raven over the head with a chair.

“The Hardcore Icon The Sandman”

Shot of Sandman busting himself open with a beer can.

“The Homicidal, Suicidal, Genocidal, Death Defying Maniac Sabu”

Shot of Sabu crashing through a table.

“And The Living Legend Terry Funk”

Shot of Funk wielding the barbed wire.

“On June 10th, ECW…”

Shot of Sabu pointing to the sky.

“Returns Home to Philly…”

Famous shot of Sandman and Woman.

“For One…”

Shot of Dreamer busted open.


Shot of Funk holding up the ECW World Heavyweight Championship.


Shots of Cactus Jack and Terry Funk being showered with chairs at Heatwave 1994.

“At WWE vs. ECW: Head to Head.”

Video closes with Eric Bischoff holding his head in his hands.



Current Card for WWE vs. ECW: Head to Head
Date: June 10th, 2006
Location: ECW Arena; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Event Music: Harry Slash & The Slashtones; This Is Extreme



Current Card for ECW One Night Stand II
Date: June 11th, 2006
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom; New York, New York
Event Music: Drowning Pool; Bodies

10-Man Ultimate Jeopardy Match:
1st EVER WWE/ECW Ultimate Jeopardy Match: Two Men begin, with another entrant five minutes later, and another every three minutes thereafter:
- If Team ECW, RVD is reinstated and Eric Bischoff is fired -
- If Team RAW wins, all ECW alumni must retire from professional wrestling -
Team ECW-----vs. -----Team RAW
Kurt Angle ---The Big Show (WWE Champion)

??? ---Carlito (Mr. Money in the Bank)
??? ---???
??? --- ???
??? --- ???


Current Card for WWE Vengeance
Date: June 25th, 2006
Location: Charlotte Bobcats Arena; Charlotte, North Carolina
Event Music: Eighteen Visions; Victim

WWE Championship Match:
The Big Show defends against ‘The Wrestling Machine Kurt Angle

Grudge Match:
The Artist Formerly Known As ‘The Heartbreak Kid’ Shawn Michaels vs. ‘The Doctor of Thuganomics’ John Cena


Intercontinental Championship Match:
Shelton Benjamin defends against Winner of #1 Contender’s Fatal Four-Way

World Tag Team Championship Match:
The World’s Greatest Tag Team defend against The Sons Of Samoa w/AAE

Women’s Championship Match:
Mickie James defends against ???

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