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post #550 of (permalink) Old 08-10-2009, 11:22 PM
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Re: Legend Presents: WWE 2006 - Stop Your Grinnin' And Drop Your Linen

Friday Night SmackDown! - May 5th, 2006; Cincinnati, Ohio

Do you realise what the hell you’ve just done!?”

Coulda’ Been a Contender

Before SmackDown! officially comes on the air, we find ourselves backstage in the U.S Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio, inside the plush General Manager’s office; or, to be more accurate, the interim General Manager’s office. Reclining on one of the black leather couches, dressed in a dark Armani suit, left arm still draped in a sling, Shane McMahon watches the monitor closely, sipping a glass of scotch with his working hand.

Across the room, looking lovely yet business-like in a low-cut dress-suit and skirt, hair tied back, Stephanie McMahon’s eyes flick between the screen and her conflicted brother:

“As we welcome you all to another exciting edition of Friday Night SmackDown, Edge is STILL the World Heavyweight Champion, and we STILL have no Number One Contender.”

~ Taking another sip of his drink, Shane sucks his teeth, rasping at the words of Michael Cole, while Stephanie turns her attentions entirely on her elder sibling, trying to read his reactions to events.


~ Shane SLAMS his scotch down on the table, as the World Heavyweight Champion appears on the screen, along with Lita, heading for the ring…

Shane McMahon: (Muttering) Speak of the devil.

~ Sighing, rolling her eyes like any woman would, Steph marches over, standing directly in front of the television set, obstructing her older brother’s viewer, drawing an irritated glance from The Boy Wonder.

Stephanie McMahon: What are you going to do?

Shane McMahon:
(Shaking his glass) Thought I might drink a little scotch.

~ Steph clucks her teeth, as Shane O’ Mac smirks.

Stephanie McMahon: Yeah, yeah that’s real smart, Shane. Why don’t you just stay backstage and get wasted while I try to actually run this show for Dad? Or better yet, why don’t you go making stupid matches again without consulting me?

~ After an initial frown, like any brother would, Shane simply grins petulantly in his little sister’s face, pushing his drink aside, placing his hood arm behind his head and reclining arrogantly on the couch.

Shane McMahon: I like the sound of that.

~ Stephanie turns, pointing at the television.

Stephanie McMahon: Go out there.

~ … … … … … Shane just stares right back at his sister.

Stephanie McMahon: Just go out there and put all this to bed.

Shane McMahon:
(Taking another sip) We’ll see.

~ Reaching over, milking his injury for all it’s worth, Shane grabs his jacket from the nearby chair, pulling out his cell phone.

Shaking her pretty head, unsatisfied by her brother’s course of action, Stephanie switches the monitor off, as Shane flips open his phone and dials.

Heading over to their office door, Steph pulls it open, sticks her head out to have a quick scan, before breathing a sigh of relief and heading on out. No sooner does Ms. McMahon exit her office and turn right … does she bump into John Bradshaw Layfield, clad in a black suit, hatless, standing in wait with a dark look on his face.

Stephanie McMahon: (Checks her watch, smirking) You’re early, John.

John Bradshaw Layfield:
You had better be on your way to give Edge some bad news.

~ The former WWE Champion eyeballs The Billion Dollar Princess threateningly.

Stephanie McMahon: Well I guess you’ll have to wait and see, huh?

~ JBL stiffens up at being brushed aside so casually, throwing daggers at the youngest McMahon child with his eyes, as the billionaire daughter strides out of her office and down the hallway confidently, beginning the long trek to the ring. As she walks, followed by Bradshaw’s callous eyes, several more individuals watch her, all eager to await their decision for the controversial World Heavyweight Champion…


His music having only just ended, the egomaniacal World Heavyweight Champion, ‘The Rated R Superstar Edge, clad in jeans, a dark t-shirt, and shades, with his title belt over his shoulder, and Lita at his side, holds a microphone in his hand.

Edge: Can you… (flabbergasted, pointing up at the titantron) can you believe this?

~ A rip-roarin’ “YOU SUCK!” chant breaks out at the mere sound of Edge’s voice, as he gestures up at the screen, a look of complete annoyance on his usually arrogant face, his title belt shimmering on his left shoulder …

Edge: (Looking around at the booing masses) SHUUUT UP!

~ “BOOOOOO!!!” comes the cry fast and furiously from the Cincinnati faithful, with the World Champion grinding his pearly white teeth together angrily.

Edge: (Waving them off) No, no, see you don’t get to silence me anymore, not anymore!

~ The WWE fans would disagree, Champ. The Rated R Superstar can barely get a word in edge ways [/pun], as the thousands in attendance continue to drown him in heat. Lita walks around the ring, screaming, “Shut up” at them all.

Edge: No, no, (shaking head) not after the year I’ve had, not after becoming the first man in a year to beat, to dethrone “The Animal” Dave Batista… not after last week, not after beating… (closes eyes) … THE UNDERTAKER!

~ TREMENDOUS mixed reaction for this comment, as the audience ROARS for both The Animal and The Phenom, but at the same time boos what Edge has done to them both.

Edge: Now, I’ll bet you were all real excited about coming to SmackDown this week weren’t cha’? When you spent a month’s wages of your pathetic, worthless jobs to get these tickets, I bet you were really looking forward to tonight, huh?

~ Edge goofily wags his head up and down, asking, “Huh? Yeah? Huh?”

Edge: I bet you all thought that after all the tears you were forced to cry after WrestleMania when I put The Animal out of his misery, you thought tonight you were gonna’ be treated to a new World Champion… a Deadman Champion. Go on, admit it.

~ A sudden “UNDERTAKER” chant reaches The Ultimate Opportunist’s ears–

Edge: (Suddenly screaming) … WRONG!!

~ Lita laughs, as Edge moves erratically around the ring.

Edge: WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, WRRRRONG! You were all WRONG!! (Leaning over the ropes) You were wrong, (points) you were wrong, fatty, you too, sweetheart. All of you. WRONG!!

~ THUNDEROUS heat for the World Heavyweight Champion, as he calms down.

Edge: (Relieved) But… y’know who was most wrong of all? I’ll give you a clue. He’s the sanctimonious, hypocritical, self-promoting son of a b**tch sat in the back right now!

~ OH!; The crowd responds with shock at Edge’s rage, as the unstable champion rakes his fingers down the left hand side of his face, grimacing up the ramp.

Edge: Oh yeah, yeah, that’s right, Shane O, I’m talking to you. (Into the hard camera) You wanna’ put me in a match with that -- that psychopath!? (Smirks) Fine by me, boss.

~ Edge turns to Lita, both of them grinning cockily.

Edge: Yeah, it’s fine by me, Mr. McMahon, ‘cause y’see I’ve had – I’ve had an epiphany since last week, and it goes a little something like this… … how many people walking the face of the earth today can say they’ve defeated Batista and The Undertaker, the – two – most – dominant forces in the WWE, in back to back championship matches?

~ Edge pauses, looking into the crowd.

Edge: Any clues? Any ideas? No? Huh? No? Well I’ll tell ya’… … just one, ME, that’s who!

~ “EDGE SUCKS!” “EDGE SUCKS!” “EDGE SUCKS!” “EDGE SUCKS!” overwhelms the U.S Bank Arena once again, with Edge lapping it up.

Edge: I(Head back, eyes closed) am now THE MOST DOMINANT CHAMPION… OF ALL TIME!! I am now the true Animal -- the true Phenom of the WWE, and there isn’t a damn thing anyone can do about it.

~ Crowd boos as a slight “Batista” chant echoes down.

Edge: So, so to all you potential challengers out there stupid enough to have your eyes set on me, it’s not Batista or The Undertaker you have to worry about any more. You should all now live in fear(crazy face) … of the Rated R Superstar.

~ Grinning from ear to ear, Edge looks on as Lita caresses his shoulders sensuously.

Edge: So, and this goes straight to you, Boy Wonder(into hard camera) you can keep throwing all the monsters you want at me, Shane, but you’re gonna’ have to get used to the fact that your time is over… (smirks, pointing to himself) … there’s a new giant killer in town.

~ Edge has his fans, and they pop rather loudly for this announcement.

Edge: It doesn’t matter if you’re 7-feet, 5-feet, 500 pounds, 100 pounds… (takes off his shades) the fact still remains… … we are all now living… in an Era… that is Rated… R.

~ Lowering his microphone, Edge pops his shades back on, takes Lita by the hand and pulls her in sexily, gazing into one another’s eyes as the crowd jeers them raucously.


Cincinnati ERUPTS with a great ovation, while the look on Edge’s face can only be described as repulsive. Turning slowly, the World Champion and his girlfriend watch as the U.S. Champion REY MYSTERIO emerges; black vest, white tights, white mask and title belt in check, making for the ring. Rey slaps hands with his fans, before stepping through the ropes, and standing toe to-toe with the champ.

Edge: WHAT THE… (Running his hands through his manically, pacing) WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE, REY!? Oh -- oh I get it; they couldn’t let me get all this air-time to myself, huh!?

~ Rey, still without a microphone, just runs a hand across his jaw, staring up at the much taller World Heavyweight Champion, not saying a word.

Edge: (Suddenly holding a finger up) Wait, wait, wait, I see what this is about. (Puts on a patronizing voice) Rey, Rey, buddy, when I was talking about it not mattering how big you are… (puts hand by his waist) you still have to be this tall to go on this ride!

~ Boos from the crowd, as Mysterio lets out a little smile, faux applauding Edge.

Edge: Wait; don’t tell me, I think I’ve got it. (Smirks) … You’re out here to defend the honor of your buddy, “Big” Dave Batista, right?

~ Lita giggles at her man’s side, while Rey-Rey remains silent.

Edge: (Turning to the crowd) Oh, it’s – it’s okay, folks, Batista needs midgets to do his dirty work for him now. Can anyone remember the last time he actually won a match?

~ The crowd boos loudly as the World Champion laughs it up some more. Nodding slowly, Mysterio moves across the ring, waving at Tony Chimel, and is soon handed a mic.

Rey Mysterio: (Turning back to Edge) No, you got it all wrong, homes, I’m not out here to rain on your parade, Edge. I actually came out here to say… … congratulations.

~ HUGE heat from Cincinnati, as Edge grins, and Rey asks them to “Hear me out”

Rey Mysterio: You’re right – you’re right, Edge, you have done something no one’s ever done before. You beat ‘Taker and Dave back to back, something I knew you had in you all those years ago when we were tag team partners, bro. Remember that?

~ Edge lets out a bit of a smirk, before he brings the mic up.

Edge: (Scratches his chin) Why yes, Rey, I do. Don’t be surprised if I don’t thank you for reminding me, ‘cause y’see I’ve spent the better part of four years trying to erase that part of my career from my mind -- y’know, the part of my career I spent carrying a Mexican midget on my back… (scowls) and… getting precisely nothing in return.

~ More heat pours down from the rafters of the U.S Bank Arena, as the ungracious Rated R Superstar sneers. Rey-Rey though, doesn’t seem too fazed by this hideous disrespect.

Rey Mysterio: (Nodding) That’s fair, that’s fair. I can see now, you’re obviously in a different league from me, Edge. I’m not in your class. You’ve had to defend… (points to the World title) that against two of the biggest and baddest around.

~ Edge nods his head in agreement.

Rey Mysterio: So, y’know what I was thinking? I was thinking, “Edge, why don’t you, at Judgment Day, take the night off?” Think about it, you won’t even have to break a sweat, amigo… … (looks back) ‘cause defending the title against a “joke” of a United States Champion would be a walk in the park, right?

~ The crowd pops at the sound of that as Edge’s jaw tightens somewhat, finding himself being backed into a rather tight corner by the U.S Champ. Mysterio continues…

Rey Mysterio: (In Edge’s face) So whaddya’ say… … champ?

~ The crowd begins to buzz, as Edge turns a beet-red.

(Holding out his hand) So–so what, we’re just handing out title shots to anyone now, is that it? At least ‘Taker was undefeated until last week. What exactly have you done since WrestleMania, Rey?

~ Mysterio shakes his head, even though Edge has a fair point.

(Counting on his fingers) You got beat down by those two English morons.

~ TREMENDOUS heat for the mere mention of the WWE Tag Team Champions, The Bluebloods, though Edge remains focused on his list.

Edge: (Onto his second finger) Then, after you somehow wormed your way into a tag team title shot with fellow Short Round wannabe Noble as your partner, you still ended up getting your ass kicked… and losing. That’s real good so far, Rey.

~ Rey continues to eyeball The Rated R Superstar, not rising to it.

Then last week you lost to Finlay… again.

~ Heat for the Irishman.

(Laughing) I – I mean really, I think even Funaki’s ahead of you in the line for a shot at… (rubs his belt) this baby. Well, at least you can take comfort in one thing. (Grins) You’re still ahead of Batista. (Turning to the crowd) I mean seriously, when was the last time he won a match?

~ Big time heat. Edge, smiling, slowly turns back to Rey-Rey

Edge: So to answer your question… (pauses) hmm, lemme’ think… … uh, NO, no, I don’t think I’ll be defending my title against you at Judgment Day or anytime soon, Rey-Rey.

~ BOOMING heat for the cowardice of The Master Manipulator, as he gives Mysterio a big cheese-eating grin, smug as you like, right in his face.

Rey Mysterio: (Nodding his head) That’s cool, that’s cool, it doesn’t matter. I figured you’d be too scared to face me anyway.

~ Edge’s face drops.

Edge: WHAT!? WHAT!? SCA – SCARED!? I’m not – I’m not afraid of you, monkey man, I’m a giant killer, you understand that!? A, GI ANT, KILLER!!

~ Loud boos for this unflappable arrogance, with Edge leaning down right in the smaller man’s face, teeth bared, with his red-haired babe of a girlfriend backing him up.

Edge: You know what giant killer’s do to little insects, pathetic parasites like you, Rey? (Lifts up his boot) We… (slams it down) … SQUASH you into the ground, just like that.

~ A smirk actually escaped through the mask of Mysterio, irritating Edge further.

Edge: (Breathing hard) I – I am the greatest champion to ever grace a wrestling ring. I’ve done things that you, Rey, and these morons can only dream about. I was the very first Mr. Money in the Bank, I won the World Heavyweight Championship in my very first WrestleMania main event, and I did it by beating a man who many had hailed as UN, BEAT, ABLE, Batista. (Getting right in Rey’s face) And just last week I did what only a select few have been able to do before me, what even that ‘Flavour of the Month’ Bobby Lashley couldn’t do… … I BEAT… … THE UNDERTAKER!!

~ THUNDEROUS heat, as the comedy seems to have died inside Edge for now.

Edge: So, and let me be perfectly clear when I say this, Rey… (icy cold whisper) there is no one, and I mean NO ONE… … out there good enough… … to face… … me.

~ The World Heavyweight and United States Champions go face to face (or as close as Rey can get), with neither man backing down an inch


Michael Cole:

Heat fills the U.S Bank Arena, as, clad in a swanky looking grey pin-stripe suit, already clutching a mic in his hands, applauding, Booker T walks out onto the stage, along with his wife, Sharmell. The 5-time World Champion swaggers down to the ring, cupping the mic in his hands as though it were a royal goblet, whilst Sharmell, wearing a long black gown herself, complete with fur coat, holds her left pinkie and chin high in the air.

Booker T: Bravo… (faux applause, talking over his music) Bravo, Edge. Bravo, Reymont.

Calmly, meticulously allowing his wife to sit on the bottom rope for him, Booker T makes his way into the ring.

Booker T: A charming performance from you both, and… (looking at the fans) … and as I am sure that all of these mere… rodents would agree, a most entertaining display of repartee between two gentlemen.

~ Licking his lips, Book takes another step towards them, only for Rey-Rey to cross the void for him, getting right in the face of The Book Man. Cole gives us an, “Uh oh.”

Booker T: (Avoiding Rey’s gaze) But I assure you, there is only one man… resplendent enough to compete for the Worlds Heavyweight Championship.

~ Edge shakes his head, “And who would that be?”

Booker T: And that one man… (ignoring Edge) his record against the two of you, Edge and Reymont Mysterio, is almost absolutely, positively… … flawless.

~ Mysterio raises an eyebrow, as Cole gives us a, “Gimme’ a break”

Booker T: What has occurred in the past between us, shall remain in the past between us and only us. Despite your plethora of challengers, Edge, despite your plethora of suitors, it is unquestionable; everyone knows the next challenger for the World Heavyweight title should be I… … (closes his eyes in ecstasy) … … BOOKAHHH!!!!

~ Huge heat for the idea of this, as Sharmell applauds wildly, and Rey shakes his head with disgust. Edge doesn’t look too impressed by the notion either, until Book turns to him.

Booker T: You see, Edge, you see I concur with you henceforth; it matters not what these… (waves his arm around the arena) … these peasants think!

~ Edge cocks his head.

Booker T: I have slain David Batista… just as you have. (Grins arrogantly) I have even… made the self-proclaimed “Animal”… … (intense) BA’ DOWN… and kiss, ma’, royal, feet.

~ More boos

Booker T: So, therefore… I say… on this day… (holding his arm in the air) … May Fifth Two, Zero, Zero, Six… I hereby challenge… (turns back to Edge) you… for the Worl’ Heavyweight Champions–


Tazz: The hits just keep on comin’, baby!!

Booker is stopped in his tracks, drawing an irritated look from the pretentious one, as he, Edge, and Mysterio all turn to stare up the ramp, where ‘The Fighting Irishman’ Finlay strolls out to the head of the ramp, dressed to compete, holding a microphone in one hand and his deadly yet trusty shillelagh in the other.

Finlay: HEY, REY! (Shouting over his music for a moment) Rey, Booker, since neither of you fellas have been ‘round anywhere near as long as I have, and since none o’ seem to have anythin’ upstairs, lemme’ explain somethin’ to the pair o’ ye.

~ The Irishman approaches the ring slowly, being jeered by the fans at ringside, while Rey Mysterio in particular glowers at him from the ring.

Finlay: (Pointing to himself) I’ve been around this business the longest, I’ve won more titles than you’ve had hot dinners… (Runs a hand across his jaw) In this place, I was undefeated for over four months. Forget about The Undertaker… (gap-toothed grin) … ye’ lookin’ at the first man to defeat Bobby Lashley -- inside a Steel Cage no less -- right here. Oh, and I hold… (holds up his fingers) three pin fall victories over you, Rey.

~ We get a close-up of the United States Champion, who shakes his head ruefully. The Irishman climbs the ring steps.

Finlay: (Walking along the apron) But most importantly… most importantly, unlike everyone else in this ring, I’ve never had a shot… (points to Edge) at that title right there.

~ Edge glances down at his belt nervously, as Finlay steps through the ropes.

Finlay: The bottom line, Edge, is this, these guys (waving his arm at Rey and Booker) can argue all they want, but the truth is…

~ The Fighting Irishman steps towards Edge.

Finlay: … … the cold, hard truth is that no one on this roster… (prodding Edge with his shillelagh) … no one deserves a World Heavyweight Title shot…

~ The dangerous shillelagh begins to creep up Edge’s chest, being watched all the way.

Finlay: … More… than m–


The U.S Bank Arena ERUPTS with a DEAFENING ovation, with the four men inside the ring turning to face the stage: Mysterio seems cool with it; Booker and Finlay seem annoyed more than anything, and Edge looks like he’d like to be anywhere other than Cincinnati, Ohio, as ‘The Animal’ Dave Batista emerges atop.

Michael Cole: And HERE – COMES – THE ANIMAL!!

The FORMER World Heavyweight Champion Batista has issues with all four of these men in the ring right now, not least the man with the gold. Gotta’ remember, it was Big Dave who Edge beat at WrestleMania little over a month ago to win the World title, but since then Finlay has cost The Animal a number of matches, icludin’ one with Booker.

Michael Cole:
Talk about the wrong kind of party, Tazz.

~ Wearing his wrestling attire, but with a close-fitting, black ‘Unleashed Rage’ t-shirt over the top, ‘Tista makes his way down to the ring, stoic and cold.

Edge: (Nervously) Look, Dave

The audience goes CRAZY, popping like mad, as Edge turns to the U.S Champion, “What the hell was that?” with Rey simply responding with an inclination of his head towards the approaching Animal, who is up on the apron, about the enter. Booker nervously edges backward, getting behind Finlay, who seems unfazed by Big Dave, who holds a microphone in one hand. He enters the ring…

Batista: (Suddenly marching right up to Finlay) Go on. Hit me again. Hit me again, I dare you. See what happens. See where I stick that shillelagh, you goofy son of a b**tch

~ The crowd “OH’s”, as does an amused Booker T while Finlay simply smirks at the former champion.

Batista: You find somethin’ funny, slick? Huh? (Eye bugging out of his head) Lemme’ tell you I’m gonna’ find funny; it’s gonna’ be funny when I stick my fist straight down your throat, beat your ass, and then beat… (to Booker) your ass… and then kick (looks over at Edge) your ass to take back my World Heavyweight Title!!

~ A HUGE pop greets this, as Edge looks extremely taken aback, not liking his current predicament at all. Running his fingers through his hair, the Rated R Superstar glances at Mysterio, before cautiously crouching down and retrieving his microphone. Batista stays right near Finlay, the two brawlers eyeballing one another, while Booker looks on. Edge takes a deep breath…

(Stammering) L – Look, Dave, you gotta’ understand something

Batista: I think I understand everything I need to, champ.

~ Edge grimaces, going silent for the moment, as The Animal takes a step back.

Batista: (Glowering at Edge) I “understand” that you are the most gutless bastard who’s ever been champion.

~ OH!; Cincinnati erupts for The Animal once again, as Edge’s face drops, having taken his fair share of insults tonight. He clutches to his belt. ‘Tista steps towards a wary Booker T.

Batista: I understand that no matter how you try to sound, everything that comes out of your mouth, Booker… (leans in) is complete… bulls**t!

~ Booker throws a hissy fit, yelling, “AWW HELL NAW” as Sharmell tries to calm her man, with Deacon Dave heading back to Finlay.

Batista: …And as for you, Dave. (The two go nose to nose) I understand that you wanna’ make a name for yourself in these parts, impress the boss and all that crap, but that fact remains… … (intense) you just signed your own death warrant, pal.

~ Boom. Batista drops his microphone to the canvas with a thud. The crowd lets out another thunderous pop as The Animal angrily glares ahead at the Irishman, the time for talking seemingly over, with Edge, Booker, and Rey backing away from the two bulls…


Michael Cole: You gotta’ be kidding me!!

A VERY mixed reaction fills the arena, catching the attention of the ragtag bunch in the ring (though it takes Batista and Finlay a while longer), as Shane McMahon appears on the stage, sling and all, holding a microphone in his working hand, beaming arrogantly.

Tazz: You gotta’ love Shane O’ Mac.

Michael Cole: Normally I’d agree with you, partner, but after last week…

You’d be like that too if your employees kept attackin’ you.

Showing no trepidation whatsoever, Shane O’ Mac begins to walk down the ramp towards the ring … until Stephanie McMahon quickly rushes out from the back, blocking his path, telling him to, “don’t be stupid, Shane, you’re in a bad enough way as it is.” McMahon looks rather offended by his younger sister’s protective manner, eyeing up the individuals in the ring - in particular the two men who have put their hands on him in recent weeks, Edge and Batista. Taking a step back, Shane returns to the stage, holding his hands in the air, smiling sarcastically at Steph, “Is this okay with you?” She simply sighs and nods her head dejectedly.

Michael Cole: That’s the first smart thing Shane McMahon’s done in weeks.

You mean like the SmackDown Election?

Michael Cole:
You know what I meant, Tazz.

~ The two siblings look at one another for a moment, as Shane’s music fades in the background, and the elder McMahon steps forward (though taking extra care not to appear as though he is heading for the ring), bringing his microphone up to his lips, pointing down to the ring…

Shane McMahon: (Wagging his finger) Gentlemen, guys, fellas, there’s no need for violence, (smirks) despite how much as I’d enjoy seeing Finlay kick your ass, Batista.

~ Big Dave takes a step towards the rope, mouthing, “Is that right?”

Shane McMahon: tonight anyway. Next week? (Nods thoughtfully) Next week sounds much better to me, so how about it? Next week, one-on-one, first time ever… Finlay… versus Batista?

~ Batista and Finlay leer at one another, neither man backing down an inch.

Shane McMahon: (Smirking) But wait, it gets even better. As well as that match next week, we’re going to have ourselves a little… WrestleMania Rematch. (Points past Edge) It’s going to be you, Rey defending your United States Title against the man you took it from… Booker… T.

~ The crowd pops at the sound of that, and Booker lets out a little smirk, letting Mysterio know that he “Stole muh’ damn belt mo’ like.” Edge continues to applaud happily.

Edge: Y’know, Shane, (laughing a bit) y’know, maybe I was wrong about yo

Shane McMahon: (Holding up his hand) Hold the phone there, Edge. I’m not quite done.

~ The sound of excitement rumbles through the crowd, with Edge’s eyes opening that little bit wider, swallowing nervously at the furtive undertone in Shane’s voice.

Shane McMahon: See, see all that – that’s all about next week. (Looks around the arena) We’ve still got tonight to worry about, haven’t we?

~ Stephanie raises an eyebrow.

Edge: (Gritting his teeth) What about tonight, huh, Shane?

~ Watching McMahon intently, Edge pulls at his long hair. Shane O’ smiles.

Shane McMahon: Well, I might not like any of the guys in the ring with you right now, Edge, but they do have a point… … we do need a number one contender. Undertaker and Bobby Lashley? They’re involved in their own thing for Judgment Day, so that rules the two of them out, which leaves… … (sighs, looking at the ring) … … you four.

~ Booker smirks

Shane McMahon: Tonight – Tonight we will find out who will be competing against you,Edge, at Judgment Day, for the World Heavyweight title. (Pacing) See, we’re going to have ourselves a little tag team match. On one side of the ring it’ll be “The Animal” Dave Batista {crowd pops} and the United States Champion Rey Mysterio {crowd pops}, and on the other it will be Booker T {heat}, Finlay {heat}… … and the World Heavyweight Champion EDGE!

~ The crowd explodes at the sound of that mega main event, while Michael points out the obvious, “That sounds like a handicap match to me.”

Shane McMahon:
(Finger) But… with a special “Shane O’ Mac style” stipulation.

~ Edge looks terrified, as the other four men wait with baited breath.

Shane McMahon: Whoever gets the winning pin fall in that match… will go on to Judgment Day… to face Edge… for the World, Heavyweight, Championship.

~ Edge blows a gasket, screaming, “WHAT!? WHAT!?” over and over again, while his four potential challengers each have a little smirk, their eyes jumping from man to man.

Shane McMahon: BUT… but you have some incentive too, Edge.

~ The two men look into the eyes of one another.

Shane McMahon: Should you pick up the fall tonight, then all four men… (pointing each time) Booker, Rey, Batista, and Finlay… will take part in a number one contender’s match at Judgment Day with the winner facing you later on in the main event.

~ A TREMENDOUS mixed reaction for that, as Edge stops whining for the moment.

Shane McMahon: So, uh… best of luck? (Smirks) Yeah, best of luck, gentlemen.

~ After a satisfied intake of breath, the extremely confident and unpredictable McMahon steps backwards, grinning at his rather … impressed looking sister, heading towards the back, before stopping momentarily, raising his microphone…

Shane McMahon: Oh, and, Finlay? … … carry on…


The U.S Bank Arena ERUPTS with heat, as Mysterio quickly makes a beeline for the Irishman, only for Finlay to quickly to get the hell out of dodge, rolling from the ring quick as a hiccup, along with (on opposite sides) Booker and Edge, leaving The Animal unconscious.

Michael Cole: WHAT THE HELL!?


Michael Cole: (Footage plays over the top)Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, just moments ago Batista got so carried away with Shane McMahon’s huge announcement of the three-on-two handicap Number One Contender’s match later tonight that he turned his back on that damn Irish bastard, Finlay!

Tazz: I’ll you somethin’, Cole, I would not wanna’ be Dave Finlay right about now.

1 - ‘The Notorious K.I.D’ Kid Kash vs. Shannon Moore

The newly announced Number One Contender to the Cruiserweight Championship, the man who lost the strap just over a month ago at WrestleMania, Kid Kash is in action for only the second time since that day, sporting his new look of silvery trunks rather than full-length tights of old (think The Brian Kendrick or Chris Jericho) and his rather fetching goatee beard, as he tackles Shannon Moore.

Young Moore is game, there can be no denying that, perhaps hopeful that a victory over a former champion and current #1 Contender will earn him a shot down the road, but in the end, KK is just too good for his junior. Despite even doing his usual arrogant preening and showboating every chance he gets, Kash still has no trouble putting the former M’Fer away, as he first avoids Moore’s moonsault attempt, forcing the Resident Reject to land on his feet, before Kid quickly nails a 360 degree running Tornado DDT, dropping Moore right on his head!! Smirking, KK follows this up with a lightning fast DEAD LEVEL, before coming off the top rope with the eye-catching DOUBLE-JUMP MOONSAULT for the three.

Winner - Kid Kash via pinfall @ 4:29.

Kash doesn’t just get back up to his feet, he NIPS back up to his feet, arrogantly holding his arms out by his side, as he saunters around the ring, performing little bows to all sides of the arena, getting quite the mixed reaction for once.

KK decide enough is enough and turns to leave -- into a DOUBLE LEG FROM JAMIE NOBLE!!!

The crowd ROARS as the Cruiserweight Champion of the World knocks the man he beat for the title at WrestleMania onto his ass, before pounding away on him with rights and lefts!! Kash manages to wriggle free though, scrambling back up to his feet in desperation.

Noble throws a chop, but Kash smartly ducks it. Noble throws another chop, which KK avoids again, kicking the Pit-bull in the gut, looking for the MONEY MAKER -- but Noble counters, GETTING KASH ONTO HIS SHOULDERS -- but Kash quickly drops off, and flies from the ring!!

The heat pours in for The Notorious K.I.D now, as he arrogantly brushes over the fans at ringside, declaring that “He ain’t worth it”, pointing back at a fuming Jamie Noble, who continues to pace around the ring like a wild man.


*Cut to video*

Inter-cutting shots flash across the screen of a young superstar, clad in black trunks with shoulder length dark hair and a small beard. He stands in front of a blank screen, holding up his knuckles, adorned with the words, “D-R-U-G … F-R-E-E”…

???: I don’t drink …

Narrator: He is the most exciting superstar to ever hit professional wrestling …

- A shot of the man flying through the ropes with a topé suicida…

???: I don’t smoke …

Narrator: His skills range from Muay Thai Kickboxing to Brazilian Jujitsu …

- Shots of the man delivering scintillating kicks to his hopeless opponents…

???: I don’t do drugs …

Narrator: He’s been a champion everywhere he’s been …

- Shots of the man holding the OVW Championship aloft…

???: My only addiction is competition …

Narrator: He’s a “Straightedge Superstar” …

- More flashing shots of the man wowing crowd all around the world…

???: My name … is C … M … PUNK!!!

- Punk throws his hair back, looking into the camera with steely eyes…

Narrator: And he’s coming … to Friday Night SmackDown!


*Video Ends*

Michael Cole: Welcome back to Friday Night SmackDown!, everyone, and just before the commercial break (the footage plays)things continued to get out of hand between the Cruiserweight Champion Jamie Noble and the former champion Kid Kash.

Tazz: Yeah, a solid win for Kid Kash over Shannon Moore, but then Jamie Noble come outta’ nowhere to try and get him some o’ The Notorious K.I.D; these two me hate each other’s guts, Cole.

Michael Cole: And right now our broadcast colleague Josh Matthews is standing by with one of those men, the Cruiserweight Champion, Jamie Noble.


Josh Matthews stands by, microphone in hand.

Josh Matthews: Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time … the Cruiserweight Champion of the World … JAMIE NOBLE!!

~ The crowd cheers as Jamie Noble comes into screenshot, wearing the same black t-shirt he had on earlier, and still breathing heavily.

Josh Matthews: Jamie, just moments ago we saw you attack Kid Kash following his match with Shannon Moore, this following on from the numerous attacks Kash himself has inflicted on you since losing the title at WrestleMania. With Stephanie McMahon signing the rematch the whole world wants to see for Judgment Day, how will you be able to control yourself until then?

Jamie Noble: (Breathing hard) Kash, maybe Jamie Noble didn’t make himself clear a couple o’ weeks back when e’ said it, so lemme’ jus’ reiterate what a’ meant. Boy, at WrestleMania, that was just phase one, that was just me takin’ the Cruiserweight title from a worthless, no-good piece o’ trash like you and ruinin’ your life.

~ The crowd pops in the background.

Jamie Noble: But that’s all in the past, ol’ Jamie Noble has already done that. (Grits his teeth) Now it’s about payback, now it’s about payin’ your ass back for all those times you left me lyin’ in a pool of ma’ own blood, Kash. Ya’ understand?

~ Noble runs a hand through his hair.

Jamie Noble: So as for Judgment Day, Kash… Jamie Noble ain’t just gonna’ beatcha’, a’ ain’t just gonna’ pin ya’ shoulders like a’ did at WrestleMania to take the title. No, no, ya’ little bastard, this time it’s about more than just gold. (Looks right into the camera) This time it’s personal… an’ I’m gonna’ hurt you.

~ The crowd pops as Noble shakes his head, and heads off camera. Matthews nods as he goes, eyes rather wide, following the impressive intensity of the champion.


2 - WWE Tag Team Championship Match
The Bluebloods defend against The Basham Brothers

After their mutual alliance last week to take out both MNM and The Hooligans, these are really the only teams left to compete for the belts right now, making an awkward heel vs. heel contest. There’s no more camaraderie between the teams tonight though, as Regal and Burchill attack Doug and Danny Basham before the bell, knocking Danny out of the ring, followed by a series of stereo knee strikes, wiping Doug out, before the referee finally gets the veteran Regal to leave the ring.

With Doug and Burchill the two legal men, The Ripper sends the former Secretary Of Defence into the corner, before racing in -- Doug catches him with a back elbow, knocking Burchill backward, before charging out -- caught by Burchill, who HURLS Doug over with a beautiful OVERHEAD RELEASE BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX!!

After scoring a near fall, Burchill drags Doug up and throws him into the corner of The Bluebloods, before making as though the attack Danny on the apron, prompting the official to hurry over an intervene … allowing Regal to go to town on the Basham Brother illegally, delivering a series of stiff left-hands, as well as raking his eyes across the top rope! The crowd doesn’t really know what to think, as Burchill goes back to work, assaulting Doug Basham, before sending him into the ropes, lowering his head -- KICK TO THE HEAD from Doug, followed by a big shoulder tackler take down!! Doug quickly brings in his brother, Danny, holding Burchill up, allowing Danny to get in some free shots. Doug leaves the ring, allowing Danny to have his way with the youngest man in the match, before sending young Ripper across the ring into the corner, looking for the SPLASH -- BURCHILL MOVES!!

With Danny now stunned, Burchill brings in the veteran of the unit, William Regal, and the two proud Englishmen each hook an arm of Danny’s, before HURLING HIM OVER with a textbook DOUBLE-TEAM DOUBLE-ARM SUPLEX!! Burchill exits and Regal scores another near fall for the champions. Bringing Danny back up, Regal lays into the younger (and bigger) man with some of the stiffest shots in wrestling, throwing in a few head-butts too.

After this assault in the corner, Regal goes for the Irish Whip -- Danny reverses it, sending the former European and Intercontinental Champion into the buckle. The Basham races in, right into a BOOT TO THE FACE!! He staggers away and Regal runs (or jogs; Regal’s too awesome to run) past him into the ropes, looking for the RUNNING KNEE STRIKE -- but Danny scoops him up, NAILING A QUICK POWERSLAM!! This time it’s Danny Basham going for a cover–

BRIAN KENDRICK BREAKS IT UP!! The referee calls for the bell.

Winner - The Basham Brothers via disqualification @ 3:06.

The crowd cheers, not caring in the slightest that this match has abruptly ended, as Spanky BEATS THE HELL OUT OF BOTH REGAL AND BASHAM!! Burchill immediately tries to enter the ring … but is grabbed from behind, and HURLED INTO THE CROWD BARRICADE BY PAUL LONDON, DRIVING THE BACK OF HIS HEAD INTO THE WALL!!!

Scared blind by the attack, Doug Basham quickly hops off the apron and begins to back up the ramp with his hands on his head -- MNM, JOEY MERSURY AND JOHNNY NITRO, ATTACK DOUG FROM BEHIND, beating him down on the entrance ramp, bringing security rushing out to try and put an end to this HUGE MELEÉ, with the tag division imploding.


‘The Book Man’ Booker T shadow boxes in front of the mirror, as Sharmell watches on proudly … until the World Heavyweight Champion EDGE strolls in, Lita by his side, causing Book to stop suddenly, whirling around aggressively.

Booker T: (Squaring up) What is the meaning of this – this intrusion!?

(Holds hands up) Relax, bro. Just here to talk tactics.

Booker T: TACTICS!? TACTICS!? (Sharmell calms him down) How dare – I’ll tell ya’ what muh’ tactics are after I beat yo’ punk ass fo’ da’ title at Judgment Day, ya’ dig, bro!?

(Raising an eyebrow) Is that – is that your real accent?

Booker T:
Muh’ real accent? (Flabbergasted) ‘Da hell you talkin’ ‘bout, Edge, what ‘de hell ‘dis have ta’ do wit’ muh’ accent?

Edge: (Waving it off) Nothing, nothing. Where’s the Irishman?

Booker T: How ‘da hell should I know where ‘dat fool’s at? It ain’t like Finlay runs wit’ muh’ or anythin’, man. Ain’t seen ‘im since befo’, (shaking his head) but ‘dat don’t matter – ‘dat don’t matter, ‘cause ‘dere’s only one man here who goin’ ta’ Judgment Day, and ya’ lookin’ at him, dawg!

Edge: (Rolling his eyes) Well, this was productive.

Booker T: (Scoffs) Whatever. Jus’ make sure you’re out ‘dere ta’night, man.

Edge: Yeah… (turning to leave) yeah, same goes for you, uh, man.

~ Edge and Lita angrily glare at Booker, before turning around, and arrogantly head from the room. Once the two are gone, Book quickly re-commences shadow boxing.


A large red,bloody gash adorning his forehead, ‘The Animal’ Batista storms through the backstage area, slamming his fists against various locker room doors, yelling out, “FINLAY!” sending backstage workers scuttling for cover in fear…



Arms folded, black leather gauntlets covering his muscular forearms, ‘The Shooter’ Brent Albright appears on our screen, accompanied by his attractive blonde valet, his face conveying a sense of rage that we are not used to seeing, as he points threateningly into the camera…

Brent Albright:
(Scowling) Bob Holly, just who the hell do you think you are?

~ Brent shakes his head furiously.

Brent Albright:
Oh, I – I know who you think you are, Bob(pointing threateningly) you think you’re this big tough guy who has some kind of God-given right to go around gettin’ in younger and better stars’ faces, almost costing ‘em matches, am I right?

~ The blonde woman sighs with disgust in the background.

Brent Albright:
(Laughs) Well, if you wanna’ keep on doing things the cowards way, Bob, then by all means just come out there tonight during my match, eyeball me like some kind of a tough guy, and see if I lose. (Grits his teeth) But I’ve got a better idea. Why don’t you actually come down to the ring and try the Crowbar on for size? I’m game, Bob, only one question left… are you?

~ Boos as Brent bares his teeth.

Brent Albright:
I don’t even know who my opponent is tonight, and frankly, I don’t care. I’ve beaten everyone in my path so far, and tonight’s gonna’ be no different. (Eye narrow) You all need to learn than when you get in the ring with me, you’ve only got two options… (pounds his fist) you can tap out(smirks) … or pass out, at the hands of “The Shooter” … … Brent Albright.

~ Albright brings his arm into the air, showing off his massive guns, before holding his finger up to the lens…

Brent Albright:
(Points finger at camera like a gun) Bang”.

~ Boos flood the silence as soon as the brash rookie stops talking, and he strides off camera, along with his associate. After a few moments of nothing but crowd noise and Tazz’s excited breathing…

BLOOD, SUGAR, SEX, MAGIK*** ‘The Shooter’ Brent Albright makes his way down to the ring, looking much more business-like than usual, which doesn’t bode well for Juventud Guerrera warming up.

Tazz: (Chuckling) Haha, it’s that time of the ring already, baby, it’s “Shooter’”time and Juventud is caught in Brent Albright’s sights. I keep tellin’ ya’, Cole, this Albright, he’s the real deal, straight-up awesome. A machine if ever I saw one.

3 - Brent Albright vs. Juventud Guerrera

Poor Juventud’s luck doesn’t improve this week either, after being served up to a pissed-off Jamie Noble last week, he gets similar treatment tonight, as Brent Albright makes short work of him, despite constantly looking up the ramp, polishing him off with his GERMAN SUPLEX, GERMAN SUPLEX, HALF-NELSON SUPLEX trifecta, before earning the submission victory with the deadly CROWBAR!

Winner - Albright via submission @ 2:58.

The crowd boos Albright, who gets up, looking as flawlessly impressive as ever. The boos immediately turn to cheers … as HARDCORE HOLLY stands behind Albright, a scowl on his face!!! The blonde woman shouts, prompting The Shooter to turn around and HOLLY TAKES A SWING -- BUT ALBRIGHT DUCKS, GOES BEHIND, DUMPING BOB ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD WITH THE HALF-NELSON SUPLEX, knocking him out cold!!

The crowd pours on the heat on the impressive rookie, as Albright staggers backwards a little, holding his face with a bit of shock, before he quickly leaves the ring, message sent loud and clear…


*Cut to video*

No one gets out of here … alive…

- A guillotine rises into the air; flashing shots of Batista, Mysterio and ‘Taker…

How will we meet our fate? … …

- The blade falls as we see Edge spearing some poor bastard…

At the hands of an executioner? … …

- Lashley posing in the dark, killing someone in the ring; ‘Taker performing the throat slash, followed by the Tombstone…

At the mercy of a callous judge? … …

- Fading shots of Finlay, Albright, Kennedy and Kash doing their signature poses…

Or … at the throw of a switch? … …

- The guillotine blade becomes an electric chair, as Booker T poses in the darkness, followed by Matt Hardy, then a close up of the smiling, evil face of Kennedy, before we see him nailing the Green Bay Plunge…

Whatever the means … the time has come…

- Quick, flashing shots of Hardy posing, ‘Taker brooding, Batista hitting the Spinebuster, Lashley staring into the camera, and Rey nailing the 619…

“To face …”

- The guillotine comes crashing down through the screen.

“… Judgment Day.”

“WWE Judgment Day, May 21st, 8/7CT, live on pay-per-view”

*Video Ends*


Receiving another BOOMING ovation from the sold-out arena, ‘The Animal’ Batista stalks around the backstage area, his forehead still bloody, his chest still heaving, but now carrying … A STEEL CHAIR in his right hand. Deacon Dave continues to yell, “FINLAY!” with every step, checking a few locker rooms, and even terrifying a few civilians, “You seen Finlay!?” sending them scurrying away. Growling like a beast, Big Dave approaches one door, puts his ear to it and listens. A scowls soon forms on his face.

Furious, Batista KICKS open the locker room door, letting out a LOUD ROAR as he enters…

‘Tista charges into the room, with the camera conveniently following him, as he races up behind the unsuspecting FINLAY, who was just chatting with a few backstage workers, but they quickly scurry, as The Animal crashes the party!

The furious Batista quickly rears back with the chair, and looks to take Finlay’s HEAD OFF
-- just as The Fighting Irishman turns around to see what is going on AND BIG DAVE WHACKS HIM RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!!!

Finlay goes down in a heap, and the backstage workers immediately jump on The Animal, trying to restrain him, as he yells at the Irishman, “C’MON YOU LITTLE BITCH!”

Rolling around, groaning, Finlay touches his own skull, which now features a major
bloody gash on the scalp, prompting Fit to growl, TACKLING BATISTA BACK AGAINST THE WALL!

The Irishman gets in a few cheap shots on Batista, before turning and staggering dazedly (he has no idea where he is) from the locker room. The Animal isn’t going to let his three-time attacker get away that easily, as he TOSSES THE BACKSTAGE WORKERS ASIDE LIKE CHILDREN, nailing a couple of them with right hands, before storming on out of the locker room in pursuit of the veteran.

Soon enough, we are back outside in the hallway, where a bloodied and dazed Finlay staggers along, various officials trying to check on his well-being, though he keeps shoving them aside, “I’m fine DAMMIT!” Until the sounds of the pursuing Animal are heard, and Dave Batista comes stomping back around the corner …

…title gone…

…head bloodied for the third straight week…

…unable to get a win…


…fatigued… exhausted…

…pissed off…


The crowd can be heard going absolutely ape-shit in the background, as Finlay crumples against the brick wall, groaning in pain, and Big Dave ROARS, dragging the veteran back up to his feet, spinning him around, and HURLING HIM INTO THE NEARBY TRASH CANS!! At least a dozen backstage road workers, the likes of Dean Malenko, Arn Anderson, and Ricky Steamboat etc. are present now, trying to keep the monster at bay.
But they’re not enough -- it’s arguable whether or not anyone would be enough to halt The Animal in this kind of mood, on this kind of rampage, as he breathes heavily, watching as Finlay crawls desperately on his hands and knees … heading for the parking lot…


There is a parked limousine right by the entrance, as we emerge into the night, following the chaos, though it is not clear whether it belongs to Finlay or whether it’s just the closest thing to a getaway vehicle he can find. Scrambling over it, the Irishman leans over the hood … ONLY FOR BATISTA TO HURL HIM ONTO THE CAR, HITTING THE WINDSHIELD HARD!!! The driver gets the hell out of dodge, as Big Dave steps up onto the hood after Finlay, lifting the dazed Irishman back up to his feet, scooping him up, AND SLAMMING HIM DOWN ON TOP OF THE LIMO WITH A RIB-SHATTERIN’, FUCKIN’ SPINEBUSTER!!!!

As the officials wince and groan, they finally manage to get hold of Finlay as his limp body rolls off the vehicle, getting in between him and the psychotic Batista.

As ‘Tista struggles against the phalanx of security, the camera whirls around to show us Stephanie McMahon, hands over her face, watching on with absolute horror.

Arn Anderson tries to stop her, but the brash Ms. McMahon waves him aside, marching right up to the heavily restrained, seething Animal…

Stephanie McMahon: (Furious) Do you realise what the hell you’ve just done!?

~ Eyes bulging out of his head, Batista fixes his eyes of the hottest McMahon.

Stephanie McMahon: Any title chance you had? (Clicks) Gone. Just, like, that.

~ Batista struggles against the security.

Stephanie McMahon: If that’s what Shane wants, Dave, if that’s what he wants.

~ Is The Animal even listening? It’s debatable. He struggles furiously against the arms wrapped around his arms and torso, as Stephanie shakes her head dejectedly.

Stephanie McMahon: Don’t do this, Dave. Don’t do this… (voice drops) … to me.

~ The chaos continues, as Steph finally relents, allowing AA to usher her away from the danger, as Big Dave screams after her, “FUCK SHANE AND FUCK YOU”

Our final shot before heading into another commercial is of a beaten, bloodied Dave Finlay, in a very bad way, being led away from the scene by paramedics, while ‘The Animal’ Dave Batista continues to fight against his restraints, yelling, “CHICKEN SHIT PUNK!”


Michael Cole: Ladies and gentlemen, we are back on SmackDown, and, Tazz, we’ve known Batista since the first day he came to the WWE, (the footage plays)but I’ve never seen him in this state of mind, never seen that side of The Animal.

Tazz: Hey c’mon, Cole, you had to know he was capable of it? He’s ‘THE ANIMAL’ after all, and that’s what Triple H and Ric Flair in Evolution trained him to do, destroy everyone and everything, but what he just did to Finlay… oh man.

Michael Cole: Unbelievable. Incredible. Chaotic events here on Friday Night SmackDown tonight, and I don’t know what Stephanie McMahon and Shane McMahon are going to do with Batista after that. Surely he can’t – he can’t still be competing in the main event after what we just witnessed? One thing’s for sure, Finlay certainly–


Well, he ain’t in Kansas anymore. There’s no mixed reaction this week, but THUNDEROUS boos, as the brash, cocky, egotistical Mr. Kennedy makes his way down to the ring, wearing his close-fitting, black ‘Talk Smack’ t-shirt over his blue trunks, chomping away nauseatingly on his gum.

Michael Cole: Oh God, I was hoping we wouldn’t see the egomaniac tonight.

Unlikely, Cole, highly unlikely. That man right there is so high on himself right now, so much in love with himself, believin’ his own hype and all that other crap, I’m surprised we’ve lasted this long without hearin’ from Mr. Kennedy, Kennedy. Remember, he took out Matt Hardy couple o’ weeks back, and at Judgment Day, they’re gonna’ get it on.

Michael Cole:
He’s delusional, that’s what Mr. Kennedy is. Sick.

~ Stepping through the ropes, Kennedy twirls extravagantly on the spot, throwing his gangly arm up into the air, catching his beautiful microphone as it (and the lights) falls…

Mr. Kennedy:
(Eyes closed) Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a twenty minute time limit… (smirks) just so I can give you all a little taste of what Matt Hardy can expect… (mouthing each syllable) … in just six, teen, days at Judgment Day.

~ Heat from the crowd, but Kennedy doesn’t give a damn.

Mr. Kennedy:
Introducing first… (gets in position) I weigh in tonight at a simply sublime 239 anatomically superior pounds. I hail… (booming) … from GREEN BAY, WIIISSSCONSIN-AAAAAA …


Mr. Kennedy:

***KAI EN TAI***

Michael Cole: Thank God.

The look on Mr. Kennedy’s face is nothing short of absolute disgust, as the crowd gives a small pop (mainly because someone just shut Kennedy up) for SmackDown’s #1 Announcer Funaki, who jogs down the ramp happily, wearing his generic wrestling gear, slapping hands with a few of the fans, absolutely no idea what he just did.

Rolling into the ring, ‘Naks waves to the audience, before heading over to a dumbfounded KK (who still hasn’t moved a muscle, btw), grabs his free hand, shakes it, before heading back to his corner, getting set. Ignoring Kennedy’s shock, the referee just shrugs, and calls for the bell.

4 - Mr. Kennedy vs. Funaki

As soon as the bell tolls, Funaki comes out of his corner, fists raised, shadow boxing slightly, as Kennedy remains still, still holding his microphone against his cheek, not even blinking. A small “FUNAKI” chant begins -- AND KENNEDY RACES FORWARDS, SMASHING THE MICROPHONE RIGHT THROUGH THE FACE OF THE JAPANESE SUPERSTAR, CAUSING AN INSTANT DISQUALIFICATION!!!

Winner - Funaki via DQ @ 0:04.

Michael Cole: HEY, C’MON, WHAT THE HELL!?

The crowd goes almost literally () insane, while referee Mickey Henson throws his hands into the air in horror. Kennedy, by contrast, has the look of a man completely focused, as Funaki hits the deck clutching his face, screaming in pain. The ref tries to get in between KK and the former Cruiserweight Champion lying on the deck, by Ken doesn’t want to hear it, grabbing Henson by the scruff of his neck, racing across the ring, and hurling him to the outside like a sack of crap!!
Tony Chimel wisely decides to get the hell out of there, while the camera closes in on poor Funaki, who’s been
BUSTED OPEN, by that damn microphone!! KK leans his head back, eyes closed, soaking up the reaction of the thousands in attendance … a look frighteningly similar to the one he had two weeks ago.

Grabbing his mic, Kennedy angrily begins to HAMMER away on the ‘Naki, over… and over… and over again!! The crowd continues to boo the living hell out of the undefeated superstar, as his face twists evilly!! Jumping to his feet, KK take the flat of his boot up, before he begins stamping away on Funaki like a man possessed!! Soon enough, the resident jobber’s face soon begins to resemble nothing more than flesh that has been shredded into bloody coleslaw, shocking everyone.

Grabbing Funaki by the hair, Kennedy holds him up, yelling at the oncoming security guards to “GET THE HELL BACK!” which they wisely do.

Kennedy smiles, still not looking deranged like one might think he is … just completely and utterly pissed off, his arrogant ways offended.

Retrieving his microphone, dripping with blood like an ice cream cone with syrup, Kennedy gets right in Funaki’s face…

Mr. Kennedy: (Breathing heavily) No one… no one… interrupts… (points) me.

~ Funaki can’t hear a damn thing … but is Kennedy even speaking to him?

Mr. Kennedy: No one… (licks his lips) messes… with me.

~ Kennedy cocks his head.

Mr. Kennedy: (Seething) No one does that…

~ Dropping down, KK is almost seated alongside the Japanese veteran, propping him up with his arm, holding him like a lover, baring his teeth right in his face…

Mr. Kennedy: …to Mister Ken - Na - Day.

~ As the heat continues to ooze down on the pompous platinum blonde, Kennedy pushes his hand against Funaki’s limp head, just shoving him down to the canvas.

Scrambling back up to his feet casually, KK doesn’t bat an eyelid as the EMT’s and paramedics (boy, they’ve had a busy night, eh?) swarm the ring, instead just staring, transfixed, at the blood treacle red microphone in his hand…


Sat with her hands over her eyes, Stephanie McMahon switches off one of the nearby monitors, sighing with disgust at the events that just took place in the ring … until a little cough catches her attention.

???: Hey, sis, I was, uh, watching that.

~ Stephanie looks straight up – pissed, as Shane McMahon smirks at her from the sofa.

Stephanie McMahon: Oh – oh, I’m sorry, Shane, please forgive me [/sarcasm]. I’m just sick and tired of trying to keep some order around here for Dad, while you just sit on your ass getting drunk and occasionally making the odd crooked main event when you can be bothered! Have you not been watching the show? Batista’s out of control, Kennedy thinks he can do whatever he wants, so do Burchill and Regal… and you?… (Flails her hands)

Shane McMahon: (Takes a sip) That time of the month, huh?

Stephanie McMahon: (Staring) … … …What?!

~ Shane shrugs his shoulders.

Shane McMahon: Look… (hand of peace) just relax, Steph, okay? There’s nothing to worry about ‘round here as long as you know how to handle everyone and everything. The Bluebloods are giving your grief? Fine, they can have it that way if they like, ‘cause if they’re such good buddies with The Basham’s then let’s see how they do… as a team. It’s going be a ‘First Time Ever’, Eight-Man Tag Team match, and whoever scores the deciding fall wins a title shot for their team, okay?

~ Steph frowns, as if to say, “So what?”

Shane McMahon: (Getting up) The Basham’s and The Bluebloods, The Hooligans and their new best buds MNM. They all want a shot, so good old Shane O’ Mac is gonna’ give ‘em what they want. Forget about Mr. Kennedy. At Judgment Day, that bleached-blonde punk gets what’s comin’ to him(winks) and as for big, bad, Dave Batista, as far as I’m concerned, he is still in the main event tonight, and he is still in with a shot for Judgment Day. You know why? (Cocks his head) Because it sells, and that, sis, is booking 101 from yours truly… (cheesy grin) Shane O’ Mac.

~ Stephanie almost looks dumfounded, as her brother polishes off his drink, grabs his jacket and dances out of the room without a care in the world…



Back from the break and our ears are already exposed to some of the loudest heat of the evening, as standing on the stage atop the entrance ramp, strangely all alone for once in his life, is obnoxious agent of ‘The Real Deal’ Bobby Lashley, Paul Heyman, apparently having just made his entrance and fishing a microphone out of his pocket.

Clad in his usual grey suit and baseball cap, Heyman looks even more smug than usual, as he takes a look around the arena, soaking up the boos of the sold out arena, before bringing up the mic…

Paul Heyman: (Smiling) Jeer me all you want, but – but ladies and gentlemen, if you can find it inside yourselves… (hand on heart) PLEASE GIVE CREDIT, WHERE CREDIT, IS DUE!!

~ The crowd rains on Paul E’s parade good and proper, as the sanctimonious manager rests his free hand on his chest, directing his speech into the masses with his usual grandeur.

Paul Heyman:
(Smugly) It was ALLLL, MY, IDEA!! It was all MY idea that should he defeat “The Animal” Batista last week, one-on-one, my client would EARRRRN his WrestleMania rematch. And he did just that, ladies and gentlemen, he did just that.

~ More boos.

Paul Heyman: That plan came to fruition just seven days ago. And now, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce to you the FUTURE OF THIS INDUSTRY…


“…the man who will once again go toe-to-toe with The Undertaker at Judgment Day, my client, THE REAL DEAL, BOBBBBYYYY LASHLEEYYYY!!!”

Heat has gripped the U.S Bank Arena already, as Heyman screamed over the music, and the aforementioned monstrous frame of ‘The Real Deal’ Bobby Lashley strides out onto the stage with a menacing, albeit cold, glint in his eye. Clad in his wrestling attire, with a ‘Dominator’ t-shirt over the top, B-Lash cuts a terrifyingly intimidating figure, as he joins his agent, the beaming Heyman, who doesn’t even bother to let the music stop playing…

Paul Heyman: (Grinning) Oh, Bobby – Bobby, I think it’s time that the people realised that you, sir, as The Real Deal -- that you, sir, as the man that will face The Undertaker for an unprecedented second time at Judgment Day -- you, BOBBY - LASHLEY, are the answer to ALL of Shane McMahon’s problems. Shane McMahon earlier tonight said he was making decisions because it was “Good … Business.” Nobody – NOBODY on the face of the planet today is better for business… THAN BOBBY LASHLEY!!!

~ Lashley nods his head in agreement, as Heyman points at him.

Paul Heyman:
(Admiring Lashley) No man has the physical perfections… of Bobby Lashley. No man has the genetically superior intelligence… of Bobby Lashley. No man has the sheer, unadulterated, animalistic strength of the one, “The Real Deal” Bobby Lashley, AND … no man, that I have ever met IN, MY, LIFE, has the COLD, has the CALCULATION, has the FOCUS to achieve his ultimate goals… more than our Real Deal… BOBBY, LASHLEY…

~ Boos fall from the rafters, drawing a glance from B-Lash.

Paul Heyman:
Now, ladies and gentlemen, I want you… to set your envy aside. I want you to put aside your jealousies, and I want you to (beckons with his hand) stand up and applaud the man who will soon systematically TEAR the human SCAB that is The Undertaker from SmackDown’s rotting carcass… FOREVER, Bobby, Lashley.

~ Crowd boos instead.

Paul Heyman: And as – and as for the match in which… (turns to Lashley) this man will accomplish such an extraordinary feat, let’s just say that there are so many to choose from and such little time left before Judgment Day, so please… watch, this, space.

~ Heyman pockets the mic, and the camera slowly draws us away from the two polar opposite figures standing side by side at the head of the ramp, before they both turn and disappear through the black veil, their words hanging in the night…


Steve Romero stands by, microphone in hand.

Steve Romero: Ladies and gentlemen, my guests at this time … the team of Paul London and Brian Kendrick, The Hooligans.

~ The crowd cheers as The Hooligans, Paul London and Brian Kendrick, come into screenshot, dressed as they were earlier in jeans and t-shirts, breathing hard.

Steve Romero: Gentlemen, earlier tonight you, along with MNM, made an unscheduled appearance during the WWE Tag Team Championship match between The Bluebloods and The Bashams in obvious retaliation for the events that unfolded last week. But, as announced earlier by Shane McMahon, you must now team with your great rivals MNM in an eight-man tag team match at Judgment Day. What are your thoughts?

Paul London: First thing’s first. ‘Bloods? Bashams? You beat us up, and you beat us down last week. You thought you’d gotten rid of London and Kendrick for good, but make no mistake about it, we’ve been coming after those tag team titles for a long time now, fellas, so what makes you think now’s the time we’re gonna call it quits?

~ The crowd pops in the background.

Brian Kendrick: So as for MNM? Joey, Johnny, we never beat you for the belts, something we wanted to do more than anything, and now we find ourselves on the same team headin’ in to Phoenix in just over two short weeks. Something’s gotta give.

~ London rubs his beard.

Paul London: Right now, fellas, we’re not on the same page. We probably never will be. But next week, we can try and do something about that. One more time. One last match. No titles. No third team. Just The Hooligans and MNM. Mano y mano. We can settle this once and for all, and we can both move on. (Eyeballs camera) We’ll be waiting.

~ The crowd pops as L & K slap hands, and head off camera. Tazz and Cole hype the number one contender’s 3-on-2 handicap match later tonight.


A video package plays hyping the two PPV main event calibre matches scheduled for next week, with Rey Mysterio defending his United States Championship against the man he took it from at WrestleMania, Booker T, and Batista finally getting his hands on ‘The Fighting Irishman’ Finlay.


Showtime. The U.S Bank Arena delivers a thunderous ovation, as the longest reigning World Champion of the modern era, the man who only lost the title a mere month and a bit ago at WrestleMania, “The Animal” Dave Batista storms out onto the stage, still looking like he just came from a bar fight -- which is almost true.

Michael Cole: After what we’ve seen from that man tonight I don’t honestly think mine or anyone else’s words would do him justice. The Animal has been ON A RAMPAGE, after he was struck for the third straight week by Finlay and that damn shillelagh, Batista well and truly took it to the Irishman, beating the hell out of the veteran backstage!

Tazz: Yeah, I mean, Finlay was scheduled to be in this match too tonight, but after that ass-kickin’ Big Dave gave ‘im -- you see that Spinebuster on the hood o’ the car? -- after all that I think we’re just gonna’ be havin’ ourselves a regular tag team match.


The crowd responds with another TREMENDOUS ovation, certainly matching that of The Animal. As the United States Champion Rey Mysterio explodes out onto the stage, his title belt strapped firmly around his waist. As he heads down the ramp, Rey-Rey watches his tag team partner cautiously, evidently concerned by Batista’s unstable actions so far.

Michael Cole: What an opportunity this is for Rey Mysterio, a man who has been on the roll of his life in 2006. We didn’t think it could get any better when he captured the United States title at WrestleMania Twenty-Two, but now he has an even bigger opportunity.

Tazz: You ain’t kiddin’, Cole. It might just be me bein’ dumb, but I can’t remember if Rey has ever had a shot at the World Heavyweight Championship before in his career, and now here he is, just a fall away from gettin’ that chance.

Michael Cole: But can he rely on his partner, his friend tonight?

Tazz: I - I think so, Cole. I mean sure, Batista’s been off the wagon tonight with all this business with Finlay gettin’ to him, but this is about the World Heavyweight Championship, somethin’ that Dave values more than anythin’. His head’s in this one. Trust me.


Despite the initial loud pop for the catchiest intro in professional entrance music today, it soon degenerates into booming heat, as the former United States Champion and the former 5-time World Champion Booker T strides out onto the stage, along with his lovely wife Sharmell. Rocking his fetching black and white trunks, Book throws his arms in the air, setting off his fiery pyro, before swaggering on down.

Tazz: Haha, this is what I’m talkin’ about, Cole, THE BOOK MAN! Five-time, five-time, five-time, five-time, FIVE-TIME, World Champion, that’s right ain’t it? But Book’s never held that title since he’s been with the WWE, and I know that’s eatin’ away at him, ‘specially with him being such a decorated athlete an all that.

Michael Cole: I think as you were reading out that list of Booker T’s accolades, you missed out a few of his more noticeable features, namely his pompous, egocentric, selfish, arrogant, whining, self-promoting attitude toward everyone and everything.

Tazz: (Laughing) Well yeah, I was just gettin’ to that, Cole. The way I see it, all those things you just mentioned, they just add to The Book Man’s charm, they’re why he’s been so successful, and that’s why he’s my pick tonight to pick up the win here and go on to face Edge for the World title in a few weeks at Judgment Day.


As the smoke begins to fill the stage, the World Heavyweight Champion himself, ‘The Rated R Superstar’ Edge strides through the cloud, Lita on his arm. The two pose for a while atop the ramp, Edge spinning his girlfriend around by the arm, before making his way to where Booker waits on the apron. Wearing his black and red tights, the title belt around his waist, Edge nervously approaches.

Michael Cole: Well here comes the man at the centre of this whole, messy equation. Edge is the World Heavyweight Champion. He defeated Batista for that title back at WrestleMania, and he defeated The Undertaker to retain it just last week. Make no mistake about it, love him or hate him, Edge is the real deal.

Tazz: You said it, Cole, absolutely. Edge did what no one could do in 364-days when he beat Batista for the World Heavyweight title at WrestleMania. Triple H couldn’t do it, JBL couldn’t do it, and neither could Eddie Guerrero, or Randy Orton, or The Undertaker himself.

~ As Edge anxiously removes his jacket, he and Booker T step through the ropes, entering the ring, looking back up the ramp for…

Nothing to happen. Edge rakes his fingers through his long hair, pulling out large clumps of it in the process, while Booker gulps nervously, realising that his team no longer holds all the cards. Across the ring, a smirk forms on the face of Rey Mysterio, while The Animal just nods his head, satisfied with the damage done to the Irishman.

6 - Main Event; Tag Team Match
World Hvwt. Champ. Edge & Booker T w/Lita & Sharmell vs. U.S Champ. Rey Mysterio & Batista
*Winner Faces Edge for the World Heavyweight Championship at Judgment Day*

Once the realisation dawns on Booker T and Edge that Finlay will not be joining them for the match, their faces fall; their previous arrogance and confidence now replaced by dread at the thought of having the face their two opponents in a fair fight, as Batista and Mysterio … RACE ACROSS THE RING … CLOTHESLINING THE HEELS OVER THE TOP ROPE, as we cut to our final commercial break!!!

We rejoin the match in progress, with Mysterio and Booker exchanging right hands centre of the ring, with Rey-Rey getting the better of the exchange with a flurry of low kicks, before shooting himself off the ropes -- RIGHT INTO A LEAPING HOOK KICK to the jaw!!

This throws Mysterio right into the lion’s den, as he becomes the face teams sacrificial lamb (as if it was ever in doubt ), with the two heels, Edge and Booker, isolating the smaller United States Champion, wearing him out, while the hyped up, impatient Animal paces up and down on the apron. At around the twelve minute mark, Edge, the legal man, decides enough is enough, and UNCOILS WITH A SPEAR -- BUT REY LEAP FROGS OVER THE WORLD CHAMPION, CAUSING HIM TO COLLIDE WITH THE TURNBUCKLE!!!

Both men are down, with Mysterio extremely fatigued, and Edge stunned after that collision with the middle turnbuckle pad. Rolling onto his stomach, Rey begins to crawl, using his elbows, towards his corner, where the caged Animal waits, arm outstretched, desperate to get in. Seeing the danger, Edge quickly clears his head of cobwebs, and grabs Rey’s leg, dragging him back up to his feet, preventing the tag -- BUT MYSTERIO LEAPS UP - ENZIGUIRI TO THE SIDE OF EDGE’S SKULL … AND HE MAKES THE TAG TO BATISTA!!!

Cincinnati ERUPTS, as the man who took out Finlay earlier in the night makes his presence felt, as THE ANIMAL IS UNLEASHED, knocking Edge down with a big-time right hand, before marching straight across the ring and letting Booker T have one as well!! Big Dave, rolling, turns back around -- kick to the gut from Edge, the World Heavyweight Champion tries for the EDGECUTION DDT -- BUT BIG DAVE SPINS OUT OF IT, BRINGING EDGE SPINNING AROUND AND DOWN WITH A SWINGING SIDEWALK SLAM!!!

The former World Heavyweight Champion is well and truly setting the U.S Bank Arena on fire, as he ROARS with intensity, holding his hands in the air, as he scowls down at the man who ended his 364 days reign atop the championship mountain. After shaking the ropes, ‘Tista yells out, “BOMB!” before turning back to his prey–


The crowd boos wildly, as Booker T celebrates arrogantly, getting right in Batista’s face and bellowin’, “HOW D’YOU LIKE THAT, HUH!?” at the top of his lungs. Almost as soon as The Book Man stands back up after admonishing The Animal … REY MYSTERIO FLIES BACK INTO THE RING, hammering away on the man he defeated for the United States title at WrestleMania and will defend against next week with great fury and terrible anger!!

Such are the force of Mysterio’s blows that he manages to back Booker all the way across the ring and into the ropes. Taking Book’s arm, he goes for the Irish Whip, only for the bigger man to reverse it, before going for the back body drop -- KICK TO THE HEAD!!!

The crowd roars once more as Rey-Rey quickly turns on his heel, hits the ropes once, as Booker T staggers backwards holding his mouth, and Mysterio leaps up -- BOOK CATCHES HIM, LOOKING FOR A WHEELBARROW SUPLEX -- REY COUNTERS INTO THE BULLDOG!!!

His face slamming down into the canvas, The Book Man is punch drunk as he stumbles back up to his feet, wandering blindly around the ring, as the crowd cheers Mysterio on. Racing forwards, the United States Champion leaps up, dropkicking Booker in the back, sending him bumbling into the ropes, becoming entangled in the middle one. Up goes the “619” cry, as Rey-Rey dials it up, turns, races, hits the ropes, comes flying back … NAILING THE 619 TO BOOKER T!!!

Cincinnati is ROCKIN’ AND ROLLIN’, as Booker flaps around like a dying eel on the canvas for a few moments, before staggering back up to his feet blindly - REY GRABS THE TOP ROPE, LEAPING UP, SPRINGBOARDING OFF, LOOKING FOR THE WEST COAST POP -- BUT BOOKER CATCHES HIM IN MID-AIR, SPINEBUSTERING HIM INTO THE MAT!!!!

The crowd delivers quite the mixed reaction for the impressive counter, as both Booker T and most certainly Rey Mysterio lie down and out on the canvas, with Batista and Edge similarly off … until the crowd begins buzzing, before full on booing like crazy, as our cameras quickly switch up the ramp … to show us … that FINLAY, the old Irish bastard who had the hell beaten out of him by Batista earlier in the night, is staggering his way back to the ring … shoving numerous officials aside in the process …

Both Sharmell and Lita look dismayed by this occurrence, though it is The Animal who stirs first,
heading straight for the fallen carcass of the World Champion, Edge, looking to end this thing.

Groggily, The Rated R Superstar pushes himself up onto his feet, looking completely out of it, and turns around … RIGHT INTO A RING SHAKIN’ SPINEBUSTER FROM BIG DAVE BATISTA!!! The Animal is ROLLIN’, as he wastes no time shoving the man who took the title from him between his legs, lifting him into the air, and SLAMMING EDGE DOWN INTO THE CANVAS WITH A BONE CRUSHIN’ BATISTA BOMB!!!! He folds him over!!


{Finlay slides into the ring}



HERE WE GO AGAIN!!! Thunderous heat greets the actions of the uncompromising Irishman, as grabs hold of The Animal, yanks him up off the mat, races ahead, and HURLS DEACON DAVE SHOULDER-FIRST INTO THE STEEL RING POST!!! “Oohs” and “ahs” ring out, as Batista crumples in the corner, and Finlay quickly turns his attention to Edge, trying to pull him over to their team’s corner to make the tag.

Just as the grizzled Irishman is about to tag himself into the match though… BOOKER T grabs him, spinning him around, shouting, “The hell you doin’, man!?” Book obviously wants the tag too, and the two men argue -- REY MYSTERIO FLIES AT THEM -- FINLAY DUCKS, AND REY-REY NAILS BOOKER!!!

The crowd goes wild, as Mysterio and Booker roll to the outside, both men in a serious amount of pain, whilst the wily Irish veteran smiles to himself at his savvy evasion, clambering back up to his feet -- BATISTA CUTS HIM IN HALF WITH A DEVASTATING SPEAR!!!! Another wonderful ovation greets this manoeuvre, as The Animal springs back up to his feet, admittedly still clutching his shoulder.

Wincing with pain, Big Dave hobbles across the ring to where he just annihilated poor Fit Finlay, drops down to his knees, and hooks the far leg of The Fighting Irishman, eyes closed tight, feeling his deserved World Heavyweight Title rematch coming…


THUNDEROUS heat fills the arena, as a furious, damn-near psychotic Dave Batista stares a hole through referee Charles Robinson the likes of which you usually only see in Joe Pesci movies, as he storms up to his feet, booming, “WHAT THE HELL’RE YOU DOIN’!?” Angrily, ‘Tista GRABS ROBINSON BY THE COLLAR -- EDGE SUDDENLY GRABS BATISTA FROM BEHIND, ROLLING HIM UP WITH A SCHOOL BOY, AND ROBINSON HAS TO COUNT!!!!






Winners - Edge, Booker T & Finlay via pinfall @ 15:05.

An outpouring of heat greets the tolling of the bell, as Edge rolls out of the ring immediately after the fall, getting the hell out of dodge, as Batista realises what the hell just happened.

Scuttling back up the ramp, Edge waits as Lita quickly hurries over with his World Heavyweight Championship belt, and the superstar couple celebrate wildly at the foot of the ramp, the odds well and truly in their favour at Judgment Day…

???: (Clears throat)

~ The U.S Bank Arena’s attention is grabbed suddenly by the sound, with a furious Batista inside the ring, a groggy Booker T and Finlay outside the ring, and a gloating Rated R Superstar at the foot of the ramp all turning to look up the ramp … where Shane McMahon appears on the stage, microphone in hand, getting another mixed reaction.

Shane McMahon: Oh… (smirking) pardon the interruption, champ, I’ll keep it short.

~ Edge shakes his head with both annoyance and confusion.

Shane McMahon: As a man of my word, I’ll make it official. At Judgment Day it will be Batista versus Finlay versus Booker T versus Rey Mysterio, for the right to face you, Edge, later on that night for the World, Heavyweight, Championship.

~ Edge grins, as the crowd cheers a bit.

Shane McMahon: (Nodding) Yeah, yeah I figured you’d be pretty pleased with that.

~ The Rated R Superstar mouths, “Oh yeah”, looking to head off.

Shane McMahon: (Holds up his hand) Wait, wait, hold up a second there, buddy boy, that wasn’t quite what I came out here to tell you.

~ Edge narrows his eyes, concerned.

Shane McMahon: (Smirking) Due to certain, uh… contractual “concerns” from the board following your actions since WrestleMania, they’ve asked me… to appoint the official who will oversee the World Heavyweight title match at Judgment Day.

~ The crowd buzzes as Edge explodes, angrily yelling “WHAT!?” over and over again.

Shane McMahon: And y’know, Edge, I was just going to do the usual, the boring thing and appoint your run-of-the-mill referee… (pauses) but something my sister said got me thinking -- something she said got me thinking, y’see? She told me to take a more active role in this World Title situation, and that’s exactly what I’ll be doing… at Judgment Day.

~ Edge gulps and the crowd begins to stir. Shane O’ lets out a bit of a smirk.

Shane McMahon: (Grinning) So, Edge, and I guess, Batista, Booker, and Finlay as well, say “hello” to the Special Guest Referee for the World Heavyweight Championship match at Judgment Day…

~ Edge has his eyes closed, muttering “No, no” over and over, as Shane smartly turns his finger on himself…

Shane McMahon: (turns)… … MEEEEEEE!!!

~ A loud mixed reaction fills the arena, as Shane lets it sink in. Edge, on the other hand, looks ready to snap.

Michael Cole: WHAT!? How is Shane McMahon the Special Referee!? He – he has problems with almost everyone involved in the damn match!!

Tazz: Talk about a turnaround for the champ, Cole!!

Michael Cole: The World Heavyweight Champion got what he wanted tonight, he slithered his way to victory once again to stack the odds against all of his possible challengers, but thanks to Shane McMahon’s self-appointment as Guest Referee at Judgment Day, the odds just turned on The Rated R Superstar once again. See you next week, everyone!!

SmackDown goes off the air with a shot of Edge, holding his head down at the foot of the ramp in complete disbelief.



Current Card for Judgment Day
Date: May 21st, 2006
Location: US Airways Center; Phoenix, Arizona
Event Music: Killswitch Engage; This Fire Burns

World Heavyweight Championship Match:
‘The Rated R Superstar’ Edge defends against Winner of Fatal Four-Way Match
{Shane McMahon is the special guest referee}

#1 Contender's Fatal Four-Way Match:
Booker T w/Sharmell vs. ‘The Animal’ Batista vs. Finlay vs. U.S Chmp. Rey Mysterio
(Winner Faces World Heavyweight Champion in the Main Event)

WrestleMania Rematch; Stipulation TBA:
The Undertaker vs. ‘The Real Deal’ Bobby Lashley w/Paul Heyman


Grudge Match:
Mr. Kennedy vs. Matt Hardy

Friend Or Foes Challenge; Eight-Man Tag Team Match:
WWE Tag Team Champs The Bluebloods & The Basham Brothers vs. The Hooligans & MNM w/Melina
{If The Basham’s, Hooligans or MNM win, they earn themselves a shot at the WWE Tag Team Championship; If The Bluebloods win, they name their next WWE Tag Title challengers}

Cruiserweight Championship Match:
‘The Pit-bull’ Jamie Noble defends against ‘The Notorious K.I.D’ Kid Kash II

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