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post #448 of (permalink) Old 11-28-2008, 06:54 PM
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Re: Legend Presents: WWE 2006 - Stop Your Grinnin' And Drop Your Linen

Monday Night Raw; April 10th, 2006; Milwaukee, Wisconsin


Before the usual pyrotechnic display and opening video, a different video package plays, hyping The Big Show’s assault on Shelton B. last week, declaring his intention to cash in his IC title shot this week. Later, John Cena goaded WWE Champion Kurt Angle into giving him a WWE title shot at Backlash.

Following the Raw opening video, we head into the arena, where the pyrotechnics erupt and thousands upon thousands of rowdy fans show their excitement for another Monday Night Raw. J.R., Styles and Jonathan Coachman holler over the top…

Jim Ross: We welcome you to Monday Night Raw, live from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I’m good ole’ J.R, Jim Ross, here alongside ‘The Coach’ Jonathan Coachman and ‘The Voice of Extreme’ Joey Styles, and, folks, what a show we have for ya here tonight, as the fallout from WrestleMania continues, and the road to Backlash is ready to begin.

Joey Styles: Absolutely, J.R. Love him or hate him, you can’t help but be entertained by him; the unconfirmed Number One Contender to the WWE Championship, ‘The Doctor of Thuganomics’ John Cena is in the house tonight, and he has promised to address not only Backlash, not only the WWE title and the man holding it right now, Kurt Angle, but also … Shawn Michaels.

Jonathan Coachman: And I for one cannot wait for that, gentlemen, but maybe this’ll get you even more excited. Tonight, in our Main Event, we’re gonna see the Intercontinental Championship defended. The soon to be ex-Champion Shelton Benjamin, puts his gold on the line against my personal favourite, the 7ft, 500lb, ‘World’s Largest Athlete’ The Big Show. And-


The arena loses its collective mind with a staggering mixed reaction as the former-WWE Champion, and the possible #1 Contender John Cena steps through the black veil onto the stage, shirtless, clad casually in his combat ¾ lengths, dog tags draped around his neck, and baseball cap atop his head. Turning his cap backward, Cena looks positively nonchalant, as he pounds down the ramp, and rolls into the ring. He goes as though to throw up a ‘Word Life’, but actually waves it off, continuing his apathetic, bad-ass tweener role of late. Leaning against the ropes, ‘The Champ’ sticks his hand out, waiting, and a nervous Lillian Garcia quickly hands him a microphone. Taking centre stage, the most controversial man in professional wrestling waits for his music to slowly fade, the crowd to {eventually} quieten, before raising the mike to his lips.

John Cena: Yo, listen up, I know ya’ll might’ve heard enough of John Cena last week when I {makes little walking fingers} walked my ass down that aisle, unannounced and got in that clown’s face, but, quite frankly, ya’ll haven’t heard the last of this cat, ‘cause ‘The Champ’ has got a few things I need to get off my chest.

Thunderous reaction for Cena’s aggression; his edgy persona since his pre-WM returning really starting to grow on the watching audience.

John Cena: So lemme get this straight, I walk into Chicago just seven days ago, back into the {air quote} Lion’s Den” or whatever the hell J.R was callin’ it, stick my chin right in the oversized beak of that overpaid, overhyped, overblown, oversized, overblown, {big breath} overrated Wrestlin’ Prom Queen {OH!}, give that chump the verbal bitch slap, get the title shot I deserve, THE biggest match o’ the year, and all I keep on hearin’ for the 7 days after that … is “Shaaaaaawn Miiiiiiiichaels”?

Big-time mixed reaction for ‘The Icon’, as Cena’s eyes narrow.

John Cena: I guess-- well, I guess some folks just really are that stupid. In the parkin’ lot, just thirty seconds after I went face to face with that Olympic prick, some dumb-ass Coach wannabe with a mike walks his lil’ bee-hind up to me and says {mocking, dickish voice} J-J-J-John Cena, d-d-does this m-mean you’ve forgotten ab-abo-about Sh-Sh-Shawn M-M-Michaels?” Well-

Cena’s head turns menacingly toward the hard camera.

John Cena: Shawn, Shawn, Shawny, just in case that little stutterin’ punk was a one of {mock fear} THE CLIQUE”, gimme a break, but just in case it was, Heartbreak, this one’s just for you. Only one man in history has ever had the balls to try and take the Doctor of Thuganomics out … hell, only one man’s ever had the grapefruits to try and take me oooon. That was you, Icon, just you.

Almost a hushed awe, as John scowls evilly into the camera.

John Cena: Now … ain’t nobody here in Milwaukee tonight {cheap pop} or anybody sittin’ on their asses, munchin’ popcorn at home that needs, or wants, a history lesson, so you ain’t gonna get one.

Pacing up and down, Cena momentarily stops, raising a hand.

John Cena: Simple thing is, Showstopper, you spat in my face, you bled me like a pig … and you had one hell of a time doin’ it. You tried to make an example out of John Cena; his sorry ass has it in his head that I, I, I, ME, wanna be HIM, that I wanna steal the identity of the famous … {marquee sign} Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels”…

A few cheers for the mention of HBK’s legend. He is awesome after all.

John Cena: Listen up, Clique, and listen up good. There is only one Shawn Michaels. There is only one John Cena. Hell, there’s only one J.R, only one Joey Styles, and, thank the loooooord, there’s only one Jonathan Coachman {owned}.I’ve never wanted to be you, Heartbreak, and I’ve never wanted to replace you. Time was, I did respect you for what ya’d done in this business … but that ain’t the case anymore, redneck.

Wow, Cena’s really racking up the insults tonight, eh?

John Cena: The cold, simple, truuuuuuuth that that little six-year old mike monkey last week, {points around the arena} all of you here tonight, all of you watchin’ at home, and especially {back into camera} YOU, Shawn, need to get into your thick skulls is that I - AM - JOHN - CENAAAA!!!!

The Doctor OF Thuganomics pounds his chest {gang style} as Milwaukee roars.

John Cena: I fear nothing, and I … FORGET less!! Ya see what I did there, Shawny Shawn? Your ass better know that I don’t regret a damn thing I do in my life, but you neeeeed to understand … that I don’t forget either.

Moving back toward the camera, Cena’s jaw clenches.

John Cena: {hard camera} Michaels, Michaels, I want you to look at me right now, I want you to look into these eyes, ‘cause I know your watchin’ back there in your mansion in dusty San Antonio … you’ve probably just sent your kids outta the room so they don’t hear how it’s all gonna end for “dear ole’ daddy”.

A mixed reaction for these personal as hell comments, with J.R even mumbling “This is gettin’ out of hand”.

John Cena: Maybe … hell, maybe I did miss the boat at WrestleMania. There was a third player in our little dance, Shawn, but that don’t change the fact that I had you in the same ring as me for the first time since you … gave me a career threatenin’ concussion … since you beat my head in with a steel chair … since YOU - TRIED - TO - END - MY CAREER!!! It was the first time since then … and I let you slip through my fingers, Shawn.

Cena shakes his head slightly, lowering the mike, before quickly snapping it back up.

John Cena: But, hell {sadistic smile} it doesn’t really matter, baby. I’m somethin’ you’re not, Heartbreak, somethin’ you’ll never be again. I’m young. I’m just south of 30, baby. I got plenty of time, Michaels, plenty of time … to make you sweat. Plenty of time to make you think about what I’m gonna do to you whenever you decide to man up and stop playin’ this game of hide and seek.

‘The Champ’ almost smiles, perhaps envisioning what he is going to do to HBK.

John Cena: ‘Cause make no mistake about it, Showstopper, you can’t hide forever, and you can only run for so long. Sooner or later, the past catches up with us all … and as you and ol' Michael Cole so like to tell us all, god boy … {dramatic voice} those evildoers will pay … for their sins”.

Idiotic Americans mark out ... for THE BIBLE~

John Cena: But ‘til that time, Shawn, and all the other doubters out there, the Doctaaaaah’ {beats chest again} of Thuganomics has some time to kill, and what better way to do that then with that sorry-ass BITCH who’s walkin’ ‘round these halls with my title around his waist?

Actual heat for Cena, as he lays into the WWE Champ.

John Cena: Make no mistake ‘bout it, I’m a firm believer in keepin’ your word and somethin’ tells me, I don’t know, it could’ve been that 6-inch vein bustin’ on through his forehead last week, but somethin’ tells me that the man I’m talkin’ ‘bout, the paper Champion … believes in the same exact thing.

Another mixed reaction for Cena’s digs at the Olympian.

John Cena: So as far as this dawg’s concerned, Backlash, for the WWE Championship? We are oooooooooooon and I’m gonna enjoy stickin’ my boot straight up your red, white and blue ass, Kurt Angle.

Wow”. Styles gasps, as even J.R shakes his head. Coach is laughing his ass off.

John Cena: {in danger of smirking} But that ain’t-


The audience explodes with a staggering ovation, as Kurt Angle storms out through the curtain and onto the stage, a scarily psychotic look in his eye. He is dressed to compete in his one-piece with a black ‘Tap Out’ t-shirt on over the top, his gold medals dangling around his neck, the WWE title belt draped over his left shoulder, and a microphone dangling from his left hand. As Cena watches nonchalantly, the Olympic Gold Medallist makes his approach. Not pausing for a single second, Kurt marches on down to the ring, and stomps up the steps, before walking right up to the sceptical-looking Cena, and getting right in his face. The atmosphere reaches fever-pitch, as Angle’s music begins to fade, the mike perched at his lips.

Kurt Angle: I think I, and I’m pretty sure a lot of other people, have heard just about ENOUGH of your BULLSHIT, Cena!! You coming out here and letting your mouth write all of these cheques that, quite frankly, your ass - can’t - cash!!!

Cena raises an eyebrow, staying eye to eye with the WWE Champion.

Kurt Angle: What you seem to be forgetting, Cena, is who exactly you’re runnin’ your smart-ass punk mouth on.

Cena smirks, “Oh really?”

Kurt Angle: See, I don’t give a DAMN about prestige, I don’t give a DAMN about your little private war with Shawn Michaels; all I care about is getting you in MY ring and teachin’ you one simple lesson about this business: it’s called put up … or shut up.

Big pop from the crowd as Cena mouths “You little-“

Kurt Angle: Like I said last week, you don’t need to ask Kurt Angle twice. If you wanna get your freakin’ ankle broken in two then step on up, John, and I’ll gladly HUMILIATE you for a second straight pay-per-view. The time for talkin’ is over, kid … Backlash? We … are … OOOOOOOOON!!!

Milwaukee erupts, much like Chicago last week, at the prospect of such a huge match being made, with a sinister smirk appearing on Cena’s face at the confirmation…

???: {out of screenshot} Ah, no, no, no, no, wait a minute, woooooah, wait just a minute!!

Cena and Angle turn, as pissed as pissed can be, toward the stage, a motion mimicked by everyone in the arena, and they soon begin booing wildly … as ERIC BISCHOFF, flanked by the mysterious Cuban, Armando Alejandro Estrada, steps out to the top of the ramp, microphone in hand.

Eric Bischoff: {holding up his hand} I know … I know-- I know you’re eager, Kurt, to {rolls his eyes} defend” the WWE title. I understand that. {looks past Angle} But, Cena, what exactly makes you think you’re worthy of being the Number One Contender?

The crowd boos and Cena shakes his head, prowling back and forth in the ring behind Kurt.

Eric Bischoff: As far as I’m concerned … John, the only thing, uh, {air quote} street” about you anymore … are those cheap-ass, hobo clothes that you wear to work!!

owned. Tremendous heat, with Estrada laughing in the background and Cena shaking his head.

Eric Bischoff: Wait, wait though. It’s alright. You want a shot at Kurt Angle at Backlash for the WWE title? No problem. {holds up his finger} There’s just … one little hitch. Tonight, in that very ring … in a noooone-title match … you must be victorious, John … you must win the match, Cena, one way or another, in order to get your title shot … at Backlash.

Another thunderous reaction for these words as it sounds a lot like Cena-Angle … tonight! J.R and co. are going absolutely wild at ringside, while Easy E. smugly takes a step back, admiring his handiwork.

Eric Bischoff: So whaddya say, Cena?

Aggressively, Cena stomps straight forward, shoving past Angle to get right up close with the ropes, bringing the microphone back up to his lips and pointing threateningly up the ramp at the General Manager.

John Cena: You even gotta ask, Bischoff? {Eric shrugs} Then your ass is even more stupid than I thought. Not only do I accept this little, uh, {air quote} challenge” to beat Kurt Angle here tonight-

...turns around, getting right in the face of the WWE Champion.

John Cena: …But, jack, I will beat you so bad that they gonna be tellin’ yo’ momma not to even both comin’ to identify the body. Ya heard?

WOOOOAH~ The crowd is amped at this brewing tension between the two meg-stars, as Angle looks about ready to snap at any second, and Cena arrogantly talks some trash with his microphone lowered … as Armando Estrada takes the mike from Easy E. and steps forward.

Armando Alejandro Estrada: ENCERRAR!! USTEDES, ESCUCHAME!!!HEY, CENA! {trying to get their attention again} Everybody listen -- haha -- {whips off is shades} to me! MY NAME … EES’ ARMANDOOOO ALEJANDRROOOO ESTRRRRRRRADA!!!

Quite impressive heat for the newcomer, as he beams at Bischoff.

Armando Alejandro Estrada: Hey, Ceeena, settle down. Ju’re music isn’t gonna play yet. Ju should know … Senor Bischoff … is full of surprises. He’s not done with thee two of ju just yet. Unlike thee Royal Rumble … ju’re not going to be able to get a - como se dic’ - fluke win … this time.

AAE gestures with his shades manically, while Cena mouths “Fluke win?” with a shake of his head.

Armando Alejandro Estrada: Because … this ees already such a … special night, Cena, we have a special … stipulation for ju this evening, between ju and Kurt Angle … thee kind of stipulation that makes fluke wins … impossible.

Cena and Angle both look confused, as the crowd boos the arrogant Cuban.

Armando Alejandro Estrada: {holding up his shades} And, Ceeena … Kurt … thee two of ju are gonna find out exaaaaactly… what that stipulation is … right before the bell for jure match! Annnnnd that, that … comes directly from thee office … of Senor Eric Bischoff, the single greeeeatest General Manager {pops his shades back on} of all time. HA HA!!! Now, HIT - HEES’ - MUSIC!!!

Milwaukee delivers some truly deafening heat as ‘I’m Back’ hits over the PA, and a smirking, smiling, malevolent General Manager backs off towards the dark veil, waving happily to both the fans and the raging superstars standing in the ring. Estrada struts after Bischoff, nodding his head and applauding, leaving us in a virtual carbon copy from the close of last week’s Raw: both the WWE Champion Kurt Angle … and the possible #1 Contender John Cena … slowly … turning to face one another … once again … eyes locked … awaiting the first shot?

{Commercial Break}

~ Intercontinental Championship Moment - September 15, 1979 - Pat Patterson becomes the inaugural champion after defeating Ted DiBiase in a tournament final to unify the WWF North American Heavyweight Championship and South American Heavyweight Championship. The Intercontinental Championship is born.

Back from the break, we are taken backstage right away, into a locker room, where a pre-match duo of Shelton Benjamin and a stretching, warm Charlie Haas go about their business quietly. Ready, Haas picks up his tag title belt … his hand brushing across the IC one next to it … before shaking his head and nodding to Benji.

Charlie Haas:{strapping on belt} Look, I better get--

???:{off screenshot} Weeeeelllll, {laughing} weeeeelllll weeeeelllll.

Both Haas & Benjamin immediately turn around, stiffening up aggressively, as the camera pans over … to The Spirit Squad. The Bradley Center delivers some astounding heat as the five male cheerleaders, all dressed to compete {are they ever not?} enter the room, with Mitch leading the way, apparently feeling vocal tonight.

Mitch: Hello, there, ladies … ugh? {points to Haas} My, oh my, how’s the back holdin’ up there, “Chaz”?

Instantly reminded of the beat down suffered last week {Haas taking a High Spirits in the process} Charlie lunges forward … only for, amazingly, the cooler head, Shelton Benjamin to hold him back as Mitch & co. all laugh.

Mitch:Woooooah, woah, woah, why dontcha’ just calm on down there, boy, and do whatcha’ boyfriend tells you. {to ‘Squad} Ya’ll all calm down too, understand?

Kenny nods in agreement and gives the rest of the team the ‘look’, which makes them go all, uh, serious, if that’s possible for the Spirit Squad, for a moment. Satisfied, Mitch turns back to the fiery World Tag Team Champions.

Mitch:{pointing right in WGTT’s faces} Lemme just remind you two o’ somethin’ - the {points to himself} Squad just so happens to be the five favourite superstars of Raw’s great General Manager, MR. Eric Bischoff … and you boys know what that means?

Benji & Haas don’t dignify this with a response, instead staring icily ahead, as Mitch glances over his shoulder at the others, who are grinning like a group of alley cats.

Mitch: It means, fellas … {almost bumping noses with Haas} that what we say … go--

– as Mikey lets off one of the AIR HORNS~ Everyone jumps and Johnny quickly slaps it out of his hand, as he mumbles “sorry”, before a still smiling Mitch turns back to the World Tag Team Champions.

Mitch: Yeah, uh, {frowning}, like I was sayin’ … it means, what we say ‘round here … goes. But dontcha’ worry, guys, ‘cause y’see, The Spirit Squad? We gotta a lot o’ heart, and we got pleny’ o’ spirit.

Johnny:{butting in} And tonight? Tonight … after askin’ Eric …we’re givin’ you, {prods Haas} Charlie boy, we’re givin’ you the night off … …

Mitch:{laughing} … … as a partner. If ya get my meanin’?

Haas still remains completely stoic, not blinking or moving a muscle. Mitch scratches his face, clearly a bit unnerved by the intense stare … before finding his smile again.

Mitch: {finger up} Well, y’see, Charlie, what we mean by “night off” … is that you’re participation in any of the matches we got on Raw tonight, other than your own of course, … is strictly … {mouths every syllable} PRO - HIB - I - TED!

Kenny:{stepping up} That means if you even so much as … look … in the direction of the ring after you’ve finished your match … your ass … is suspended without pay!

Tremendous heat from the crowd as The Squad all laugh it up, exchanging high-fives and pats on the back, as Shelton shakes his head in disgust, and Haas purses his lips.

Mitch:{right in Haas’ face} Okay? Ah–kay? Kay? Got that? Yo-

Kenny:{slaps his head} Oh damn, guys, {looking around} we - we forgot lil’ Shelton here’s got himself the main event tonight … and now Charlie can’t go down to the ring with him.

The SS all pretend to be horrified, but Kenny holds up his hand.

Kenny: No, no, it’s all good, it’s all good. {eye to eye with Benji} We all know that Benji here is such a “top class athlete” that I’m sure whoever he’s up against tonight … he’ll have no problem whatsoever. Am I right … Shelly?

So incredibly pissed off, Shelton doesn’t even answer, just continuing to stare a hole through the lead cheerleader, who smiles right on back.

Kenny: {pats him on arm} Besta’ luck, buddy.

A couple other members of the team give Shelton a friendly ‘pat’ on the shoulder before the egotistical and eccentric quintet turn collectively on their heels and, quite literally, strut from the locker room, leaving Charlie Haas fuming and Shelton Benjamin staring down at his Intercontinental Championship belt with longing, longing eyes, as Haas rests a hand on his partner’s shoulder.

Charlie Haas: You’ll figure somethin’ out. {heading out the door} You always do.

Giving Shelton quite a half-hearted, anxious smile, which isn’t returned, Haas turns and heads through the door with a sigh, heading down to the ring for his match; leaving the Intercontinental Champion … all … alone …

Cut back to ringside

Jim Ross: Oh, wow, Shelton Benjamin’s gotta be in a hell of a predicament here tonight.

Jonathan Coachman: I agree, J.R. “Oh, wow” I can’t believe how stupid Shelton Benjamin is if he thinks that, firstly he’ll even survive his match with The Big Show tonight, and secondly he’s got a shot in hell of beating my boys, 5-on-2 at Backlash.

Joey Styles: I don’t quite think that’s what J.R was implying, Coach, and I wholeheartedly agree with him; I just don’t know how he can keep overcoming these odds. But perhaps we’ve all written him off in tonight’s main event too soon?

Match #1 - World Tag Team Champion Charlie Haas vs. Rob Conway

While Conway is able to sustain some offense throughout the contest, the result is never really in that much doubt. From the get-go, Haas shows why he has been so successful of late; a new intensity, focus, all helping his amazing speed and athleticism. The finish arrives when Haas counters the Ego Trip by slipping down behind Conway, pops his hips twice for TWO rolling German Suplexes, before hooking him back up and hurling him into the turnbuckle with a third!!! Haas quickly follows up with the deadly HAAS OF PAIN, which has the barely conscious Con Man surrendering in seconds.

Winner - Charlie Haas via submission @ 6:06.

Jim Ross: The perfect way to start the evening for the World Tag Team Champions. Is there anyone in the WWE on a bigger roll than Haas and Benjamin right now?

Jonathan Coachman: I can name quite a few, J.R. How about … The Big Show? Or The Spirit Squad? Or even Carlito, and let’s not-

Joey Styles: Whatever the case, with that impressive victory right there, Charlie Haas has ensured that he will be ready and willing, but unfortunately, due to those idiots The Spirit SQUAD, unable to back up his tag team partner, Shelton Benjamin later on in our Main Event, has he puts the Intercontinenal title on the line against the mastodon, the 7ft, 500lb, Big Show.

Cut to Outside

In the distance the door of a small, dark car slams in the large parking lot. Grabbing his bags, out steps … ROB VAN DAM, the hottest man in pro-wrestling right now. Adorned in his jeans & a black ‘Nobody Gets Higher’ t-shirt, RVD turns around as Todd Grisham hurries up to him with a microphone.

Todd Grisham: Excuse me, Mr. Van Dam, uh, Rob, (RVD raises an eyebrow) I was just wondering if I could get your thoughts on the “Deal” struck last week between Eric Bischoff, Paul Bearer & The Big Show concerning you?

Mr. Monday Night pauses for a moment, and ‘thinks’ a bit, before … he just flat out starts laughing softly, confusing Grisham.

Rob Van Dam: Whatever, dude, {walking past him} we’ll just have to see.

{Commercial Break}

~ Intercontinental Championship Moment - June 13, 1987 - Superstars Of Wrestling - The Honky Tonk Man defeats Ricky Steamboat to begin the longest reign in the prestigious title’s long history, eventually dropping the belt on August 29 of 1988.

Once again back from the commercial, we are backstage, where Maria Kanellis stands by with beltless Women’s Champion Trish Stratus and the woman she beat at WrestleMania, Victoria. Both women are dressed to compete, looking very spiffy indeed, but they also wears something else; looks that could kill.

Maria Kanellis: Hi! {giggles} I’m Maria Kanellis and my guests at this time are the WWE Women’s Champion, Trish Stratus, and Victoria. Trish, Victoria, the two of you fought at WrestleMania for the title, but now that the belt has been stolen, Eric Bischoff has ordered the two of you to team up, an-

Trish Stratus:Maria Kanellis?” {mock giggles} Not only do they stick me in a match tonight, but they send you to do this interview? Is this a joke? See, that’s your {prods Maria hard in the chest} problem, and that’s Eric Bischoff’s problem. Everything’s just a joke to you: “oh, ha ha, the Women’s Division has gone up in smoke again”. Well, it’s not a joke to me … the Women’s Championship-- MY Women’s Championship … is not a joke to me.

Maria seems slightly hurt by the comments, but Trish couldn’t care less.

Trish Stratus: Y’see, {mock baby voice} Maweea”, I came here tonight to call that skank with my belt out. I was gonna challenge her to what she’s always wanted: “For the first time ever” Trish Stratus defends the Women’s Championship, at Backlash … against Mickie James.

A mixed reaction for the mere mention of Mickie’s name, as both Trish and Victoria shake their heads in exasperation.

Trish Stratus: But Mickie being Mickie, Bischoff being Bischoff, and this crappy business being the place it is … not only did that slut not show her face for the second straight week, but I get told … that I have to defend my Women’s Championship against not only Mickie James at Backlash … {turns to eyeball Vicky} but … youtoo.

Maria looks slightly anxious in between these two old rivals, as they go eye to eye.

Victoria: {pissed} Y’know what, Trish, I’m getting sick of this. You can bring your, uh, {air quote} belt”, you bring your little psycho clone … you bring everything you got, because at Backlash … as one of your many boyfriends used to say … {right in the champ’s face} Just bring it bitch”.

The crowd boos Vicky’s intense words and Trish looks about ready to snap. “Time to Rock and Roll” hits in the background luckily, prompting both women to turn, their eyes locked on one another, and walk towards the ring.

Back to ringside

Jim Ross: That’s Trish Stratus’ music we can all hear in the arena now; her and Victoria set for tag team action here tonight, but how on earth can those two women co-exist? It’s gotta be nothin’ but a case of “a common enemy”.

Joey Styles: And a Triple Threat Match set for Backlash for the title? That’s going to be absolutely off the page.

Match #2 - Tag Team Match
Torrie Wilson & Candice Michelle vs. Women’s Champ Trish Stratus & Victoria

With Mickie James currently ‘unavailable’, the two other biggest stars of the division team up for this basic warm up match against two resident jobbers. Unsurprisingly, the huge tension between Trish Stratus and Victoria is the main story, with a succession of withering looks and hard, harsh tags. The finish comes when Candice and Victoria, the legal women, find themselves alone in the ring, as Trish wipes Torrie out with a BASEBALL SLIDE!! Candice is nothing but a lamb, as Victoria drills her with the WIDOW’S PEAK for the win!!

Winners - Trish Stratus & Victoria via pin fall @ 2:37.

The crowd gives a decent ovation as Victoria brashly rolls the pathetic carcass of Candice Michelle out of the ring, before impressively rising back up to her feet and turning around … right into the face of Trish Stratus!! The atmosphere picks up immediately, with neither female willing to back down, and the referee begging them to calm down.

Jim Ross: Oh my, this is gonna get worse before it gets better.

Jonathan Coachman: Nail her, Vicky!! Just hit her!

Joey Styles: These two women are going to get it at Backlash, along with Mickie James, as announced tonight, with Trish Stratus’ Women’s title on the line, but it doesn’t look like we’re going to have to wait that long!!

A handful of referees race down the ramp and slide into the ring to try and assist Jack Doan in his vain attempt to keep the two fiery vixens apart…

???: {off screenshot} OOOOWWWW!!!!

Our attention, Trish’s, Victoria’s, and the commentator’s, is quickly switched as the camera pans away from ringside and up towards the titantron … where MICKIE JAMES appears, all made-up, earrings, the whole nine yards, with a familiar looking smile on her young face. Trish and Victoria look insane and … so does Mickie, but in a different way

Mickie James:O-okaaaay, I’ll {holds up her hand} … I’ll admit it. I did go a teeeeeensy, weeeeeeensy bit too far at WrestleMania, right? Huh? Yeah?

A great mixed reaction from the crowd, while Trish and Vicky shake.

Mickie James: {smiling from side to side} But, I mean, seriously though, “whaddya do?” I waaaas the victim of the greatest screwjob in history when Mr. Bischoff left me out of the title match, HEL - LOOOOOOO!!!

An actual pop from the Bradley Center, but Trish and Vick remain focused.

Mickie James: Aaaaaaand looked over for my {laughing, air quote} bestest fwiends in the whole world” … {looks down} Oh, hi, there, girls, I, uh - I didn’t see you standin’ there. Gosh, you look pretty.

Owned. Trish stares, as Victoria mutters “bitch” at the screen, and Mickie flicks her fringe playfully.

Mickie James: {laughing hysterically} Yaaaah, I know, I know, it’s crazy. I knoooow, can you believe that, I used to like the two of you soooo much that I went around all the time like a {bounces up and down} little puppy dog” trying to get you to like me and scratch my ears and rub my tummy {}. {pouts} I guess … I guess you could say that I … just … wanna be loved?

Laughs from the crowd, as Mickie giggles to herself too, finding her own jokes extremely funny. Always a bad sign.

Mickie James: {wagging her finger} But, but it’s okay. ‘K? ‘Cause I’ve had, like, an “epiphany” - if any of you know what that is - and I’ve finally realised that I don’t need either of yoooou two to love me, or even like me … ‘cause I’ve got everything I need … right … {holds up Women’s title belt} here.

The crowd cheers {slightly} as Mickie beams and her two rivals in the ring boil.

Mickie James: {waves} Choooow.

Mickie’s smiling and beautiful visage disappears from the titantron, leaving it in darkness, and leaving the crowd booing {though it is unclear whether they are at Mickie or her absence}. In the ring, neither Trish nor Victoria move an inch; their anger now at boiling point, as the camera closes in on their faces…

{Commercial Break}

~ Intercontinental Championship Moments – April 1, 1990 – WrestleMania VI - In the first ever Unification match for both the Intercontinental & WWF Championships, the then IC Champion The Ultimate Warrior defeats Hulk Hogan to capture both titles.

This time when we come back from the break there is no interview, and we head straight to ringside, where the ring is adorned … with hammocks, palms trees, alcohol, bikini-clad guests, and, perhaps most strikingly of all, a huge, 12ft ladder standing in the middle, with the Money in the Bank briefcase hanging from the brass ring high above…


Milwaukee rises to its feet with a thunderous mixed reaction, that quickly slides into the realms of heat, as ‘Caribbean Cool’, the brand, spanking new Mr. Money in the Bank Carlito steps out onto the stage. Looking like the cat who got the cream, CCC, clad in his gaudy, all white, linen shirt, slacks and brown sandals, tosses an apple up and down as he swaggers on down to the ring … with Chris Masters in pursuit, wearing his own beach-wear {a sleeveless shirt over his trunks}. The lovely ladies surrounding the ring all applaud sycophantically with aplomb, as ‘Lito and ‘The Masterpiece’ enter the ring. Masters immediately heads over to the booze and starts handing them out to the girls, while Carly, ever the spokesman, grabs himself a microphone. He waits a few moments for his music and the fans to die down, before bringing it to his lips…

Carlito: Now … that’s an--

Carlito is immediately drowned out by the thunderous boos, drawing one of ‘Lito’s classic scowls; which gets even worse when the “You Suck” chants start up.

Carlito: {scowling} Y’know, now that Carlito’s out here and can hear what all of you … people think the word “respect” means, it almost makes Carlito feel like not celebratin’ his big win in da Money in da Bank Ladder match at WrestleMania Twenty-Two.

Sarcastic pop from the crowd … but a huge shit-eating grin quickly appears on CCC’s face.

Carlito: BUT NOT QUITE! HA HA!!!

More exuberant boos from Milwaukee at Carly’s arrogance, as he skips about the ring, slapping hands with The Masterpiece in the process.

Carlito: But … but y’know what’s even cooler den that? {raises an eyebrow} It’s my guest tonight.

The crowd starts to groan; most of them know what is coming.

Carlito: {points up the ramp} Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls … {suddenly whirls around, pointing to himself} DA NEW MR. MONEY IN DE BANK … ME, CAAAARRRRLITO!!!!

As Carly holds his hands in the air, Masters and the bikini girls all applaud and cheer, while the fans begin a slow, purposeful “ASSHOLE” chant.

Carlito: {playing it ‘straight’} Woooow. Dis is truly an honour. Y’know, Carlito’s had guys on de Cabana like … the 16-time Heavyweight Champion of the World Ric Flair {WOO!}, ‘The Heartbreak Kid’ Shawn Michaels {heat}, John Cena {mixed reaction}, and just a few weeks ago, in his hometown of, uhhhhh … Memphis? {Masters nods} Yeah, Memphis, whatever, it was Jerry Lawler, dat’s all you need to know.

A few laughs from the crowd, with J.R marking out for the mention of King.

Carlito: But tonight, Carlito has … {air marquee} Da Bad Apple” … “Caribbean Cool” … and Carlito’s personal favourite: “Mr. … Money … in … da Bank”!!!

Carlito smirks, gazing up at his briefcase hanging high above.

Carlito: {nodding ‘humbly’} Y’know, ladies and gentlemen, Carlito has to admit … I couldn’t have won at WrestleMania … {points into the crowd} without each and every one of you cheering me on.

Rather confused reaction from the audience, which seems to irritate ‘Lito.

Carlito: Hey, hey, hey, HEY! Okay! Fine!! Dat’s enough. Knock it off.

The boos return.

Carlito: (To crowd) Take it easy, take it easy. But seriously, the support you gave us all at WrestleMania … paved the way for guys … like Carlito. Y’see all of da things that you’ve done for this business … have allowed Carlito to accomplish all of the things he has in this, uh, business in such a little time.

More cheers from the crowd, though very wary, as Masters and the girls applaud the viewers too.

Carlito: So, yeah, uh, thanks, I guess.

CCC nods at them, almost expecting the crowd to be grateful.

Carlito: Soooo {the sneer returns} don’t you all find it ironic that you aaaallll tuned in dis week, you all paid for your tickets tonight … to watch … myyyyyyMoney in de Bank Cabana”?

Waving his hand in their direction, ‘Lito feeds off the boos of the crowd.

Carlito: Here you all … the “great” masses … watchin’ in awe of Carlito, because I’m … da new … Mr. Money in da Bank.

The heat booms out through the building, with Carlito pretending to squint up at his shiny briefcase, reaching ceremoniously for it.

Carlito: See, once Carlito had … heroes. {huge shit-eating grin} Aaaand now Carlito is a hero to each and every one of you--


Carlito turns, pissed, and Masters stops his flirting, as the crowd erupts into cheers for the sight of … Gregory Helms emerging through the veiled curtain onto the stage. Already clutching a microphone in his hand, Helms, clad in jeans, doo rag & a dark shirt, tucks a pair of shades tucked into his top pocket, and begins to step slowly down the ramp, as his music fades.

Gregory Helms: WOAH, WOAH, WOAH, WOAH!!! {pointing at the ring with his free hand} Lemme cutcha’ right off there, Tito Santana!!

HUGE pop from the crowd, as Carlito’s jaw hits the floor. Greg continues down toward the squared circle.

Gregory Helms: Look, I - I’m beggin’ ya, Lito, to gimme a little leeway on this thing, ‘cause like ya saw for yourself eight days ago, {begins to climb the steps} I took one hell of a bump on the head, so you’ll have ta excuse Gregory Helms’ hearin’, cause it ain’t what it used to be. But did I just hear you, Mr. Cool; call yourself … a “hero”?

Carlito: (with a nod) Das right.

Helms finally steps through the ropes and enters the ring, causing CCC to back off a bit and Masters to brace for a fight. Luckily for them, the ultra-cool Greg holds up his hand as a show of peace.

Gregory Helms: Hey, chill out. {to ‘Piece} Relax. All Gregory Helms came out to say was … “congratulations” … congratulations, Carlito, on bein’ the brand new Mr. Money in the Bank.

Carlito: {smug as hell} Thanks. Thank you.

Boos from the crowd, but Helms remains ‘poker face’.

Gregory Helms: (ignoring them) All - I’ve just gotta couple of questions, y’know, a few things that have been buggin’ me all week; mainly, if ya gonna go ‘round callin’ yourself a “hero”, Lito … d’ya mind tellin’ everyone, d’ya mind remindin’ everyone exactly how ya won that briefcase in the first place?

Milwaukee jeers, remembering just how Carly became Mr. Money in the Bank.

Gregory Helms: Look, man, what I’m sayin’ is, what I wanted ta ask since ya got out here and startin’ talkin’, is that have ya heard people talkin’ about your win at WrestleMania {CCC opens his mouth} … as a heroic victory?

Shaking his head, ‘Lito is well and truly stumped by this one. .

Gregory Helms: No, no, it’s all good, bro, ya don’t have to answer, ‘cause the straight answer - well, the straight answer … is “no”. And that’s not just because they’re too busy talkin’ about other matches from WrestleMania. The reason they’re not callin’ your win at WrestleMania a … “heroic” victory is ‘cause … {quite a serious face} you stole that match, beach boy.

Carlito’s hair rises an extra few inches, as the crowd really begins to get behind the suave and aggressive Gregory Helms, who smirks and wipes his stubble with the back of his hand,.

Gregory Helms: Y’see, ‘Lito, whatcha’ gotta understand before you come out here, runnin’ that big mouth of yours … is that it ain’t the briefcase, if ya will, that makes the man a champion, it’s the man that earns his right ta be champion.

Crowd cheers for the former-Hurricane, and Carly frowns a bit, not liking what he is hearing at all.

Gregory Helms: So all I’m out here wantin’ to know, buddy, all I’m askin’ … is when you are gonna man up, grow a pair, strap a pair on, whatever … and put that Money in the Bank briefcase … on the liiiine!

Big pop, as Helms extenuates the last word, getting right in the nervous looking Carlito’s face.

Carlito: W - W - What? Whattya talkin’ about, huh? Money in de Bank isn’t a title. You can’t just - you can’t just defend it in a match like some, uh, belt! No, no, the only way to win the Money in da Bank briefcase is in de ladder match at WrestleMania … an’ Carlito did that! Dat means … IT’S MINE, and you, Greg, and everyone else can stay the hell away from it!!!

Thunderous heat, with Helms even affording himself a wry smile.

Carlito: {grinning} Dat’s not the problem anyway. Y’see, Carlito’d love nothing more den to put his Money in da Bank briefcase up for grabs. The problem is … no one has … da CAHONAS … to face Carlito.

OH~ The crowd does not like this at all. Carly laughs it up, while Helms ponders on it for a moment … and even Chris Masters looks slightly perturbed.

Carlito: I mean, even the 16-time World Champion, Ric Flair, even de WWE Champion, Kurt Angle, dey both backed down … from Carlito.

More deafening heat as Greg blinks nonchalantly.

Carlito: You see, Greg, guys like you … need to learn dere’s a pecking order ‘round here. {looks to his left, resting his hand on the steel} A ‘ladder’, so to speak. And Carlito’s … {climbs a few rungs} way up here … but you, Mr. Hurricane … you’re way … down {jumps off ladder down to the mat} heeerrre.

The smirk on Helms’ face increases, and he scratches his head, as the crowd boos the egomaniacal Puerto Rican.

Carlito: But you see, Greg … you interruptin’ my show … “Carlito’s Money in the Bank Cabana” … and insulting the new Mr. Money in da Bank? {without turning} Chris?

Grinning, The Masterpiece grabs an apple out of one of the bowls and plonks it down in Carlito’s outstretched hand, as the crowd begins to buzz, and Helms’ eyebrows rise.

Carlito: {taking a bite} … … Das not cool.

‘Lito opens his mouth…

Gregory Helms: Just a bit of friendly advice, ‘Lito, but if you even think about takin’ a bite outta that baby … Gregory Helms is gonna bitch slap it so far down your throat that your gonna be pickin’ apple outta ya pants for the next week!!!

WOAH~ Milwaukee ERUPTS with probably the best put-down of the night, as Carly freezes instantly, and Masters even looks slightly taken aback. Growing on them even more, the crowd begins a slight “HELMS” chant, which draws a ‘look’ from the man himself, but it quickly subsides.

Finally, Carlito snaps out of it.

Carlito: Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah! Take it easy dere, tough guy. If I were you, and thankfully Carlito’s not, but if I were you, I’d save all of that aggression. Y’see … Carlito’s not the only person standing in dis ring right now.

Helms looks up … as ‘The Masterpiece’ Chris Masters truly makes his presence known for the first time, stepping up alongside CCC and flexing his biceps arrogantly, showing Helms just what he has coming his way if he doesn’t watch his mouth. Alongside his buddy, Masters ignores the boos of the crowd and leans in to ‘Lito’s microphone.

Chris Masters: Y’know, ‘Lito … {air quote} The Hurricane” here, talks real tough … {points threateningly at Greg} but let’s see just how tough you talk after I make your sorry ass pass out … to THE MASTERLOCK!!!

Backing away from the microphone, Masters begins to circle around to the other side of the ring, trapping Helms in the middle of the ring between the two predators. Carlito, smiling almost sadistically, tosses his microphone down to the canvas with a thud and takes a step forward too as the crowd begins to boo.

Helms drops his microphone too, looking reigned to his situation, backing up slightly, arms out, poised. While Greg makes the mistake of watching the mouthier Carlito, Masters begins to stalk around behind the former-Hurricane and soon makes it up behind the unfortunate young man!

‘Piece suddenly lunges forward and grabs Helms by his throat and tries yanks him backward and up into the Masterlock … only for Greg to deliver a sudden, right hand to The Masterpiece!! Helms comes out all guns blazing, fighting with all he’s got, with rights and lefts to both Masters and Carlito, even knocking ‘Piece staggering backwards into the corner!!
Helms levels Masters quickly, before turning back around to where Carly is still lurking, but Mr. MITB drops down to his knees, THEN HITS HELMS WITH A LOW BLOW~! While the audience react understandably with outrage, a fuming Carlito is all business, booting Helms in the gut, before PLANTING HIM WITH A DDT right down into the canvas, wiping Gregory Helms clean out!!

Jim Ross: Ah, goddammit, those no-good bastards Carlito and Masters have done it again!!

Grinning merrily, though breathing heavily at the same time, Carlito looks down at the fallen Helms, who is lying on his back clutching his head, with utter contempt. Shaking the cobwebs away, Masters stumbles out from the corner and touches his buddy on the shoulder, stopping him from putting the boots to Greg. Looking around, ‘Lito looks at ‘Piece, whose words are clear as day, “Lemme put this prick in The Masterlock”, and who is Carlito to argue?

As a dazed and hurting Gregory Helms begins to stumble back up, first to his forearms, then to his knees, and then back up to his feet, Chris Masters waits, poised like a predatory animal behind him, arms raised, almost Kurt Angle-like in his impatience for his victim to rise up. As the crowd can be heard cheering loudly in the background, Masters moves in for the kill - but Carlito grabs him quickly, spinning him around…


Joey Styles: Oh my gaaawd!! It’s Chavo Guerrero; the man who Carlito screwed at WrestleMania has come to get him some tonight!!!

Jonathan Coachman: Get the hell outta there, Carlito!!!

Milwaukee loses its mind, as Chavo Guerrero, dressed much like Helms in jeans and a shirt, rolls through the crossbody with a picture-perfect forward roll and springs right back up to his feet. Masters and Carlito don’t have it so good and are sent head over heels with the impact! Chavito immediately races across the ring, grabbing hold of Carlito by his huge nest of hair and yelling right in his face “WRESTLEMANIA” … before racing forward and HURLING MR. MONEY IN THE BACK OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE OUTSIDE!!!

No sooner has Carlito hit the deck, then the unfortunate Masterpiece stumbles back up to his feet too, shaking his head and wiping his eyes, still clearly with no idea what century he’s in right now BUT GREGORY HELMS CHARGES, AND CLOTHESLINE MASTERS THE FULL 360 SPIN, KNOCKING THE POOR BASTARD OVER THE TOP JUST LIKE HIS BUDDY!!!

The building is, quite frankly, rocking, as Chris Masters hits the ground running like a government mule, stumbling into the arms of the backtracking Carlito, as they begin to fall ungainly back up the ramp, wanting no part of these 2-on-2 odds with Guerrero & Helms here tonight, as the faces continue to trash the Cabana set, hurling the hammocks, lawn chairs, and even the ladder over the ropes, sending the bikini girls screaming through the crowd.

The last shot we get before fading into the commercial … is a tracking shot … starting with the eyes of Chavo Guerrero … then those of Gregory Helms … onto those on the ramp of Chris Masters … and finally, the man himself, he eyes of Carlito … each and every set of eyes totally fixated on the shiny steel briefcase still hanging 20ft above the ring…

{Commercial Break}

~ Intercontinental Championship Moment - July 21, 1992 - WWF House Show - From Portland, Maine, the revered championship is defended for the first time ever in the now legendary Ladder Match, with Bret Hart overcoming {now} fellow wrestling icon Shawn Michaels to retain the gold.

***MY TIME IS NOW*** Milwaukee explodes with a thunderous mixed reaction, dominated by cheers, as the unconventional, the controversial, but oh so talented, ‘The Doctor Of Thuganomics’ John Cena, steps through the curtain toward the ring. Cena looks much like he did earlier this evening; pissed off, but brimming with his usual confidence and arrogance, as he slides into the ring and hurls his cap away. Bouncing off the ropes, Cena once again refuses to throw up a ‘Word Life’ sign, and instead just bounces on his toes, shadow boxing.

Jim Ross: THE most popular and controversial superstar in the WWE today, John Cena wants Shawn Michaels’ blood more than anything in this world, but with HBK indisposed, this kid’s got his sights set on the WWE title, BUT, if he wants that shot, he’s got to defeat the champ himself, one of the greatest of all time, Kurt Angle.

Jonathan Coachman: Big fight feel here tonight, guys, and I for one cannot wait to see John Cena once again walk away from a WWE ring, empty handed.

***MEDAL*** Deafening is truly the only way to describe the reaction this time, still mixed, though barely, as ‘The Wrestling Machine’ Kurt Angle strides out onto the stage. Angle has a fierce look in his eyes, staring right ahead at his waiting victim, chomping on his mouth-guard savagely, the WWE Championship secure around his waist. Throwing his arms up into the air, the red, white and blue pyrotechnics crash into the sky, and Angle, breathing in the fumes, heads for the ring.

Joey Styles: The greatest pure athlete in the history of professional wrestling. Fact. Kurt Angle has beaten John Cena before, but that, like this, was when the title wasn’t on the line. He wants to do it, one on one, with the WWE Championship up for grabs. How’s that going to play into his mind set here tonight?

Jim Ross: I don’t think it will, Joey. When it comes down to it, Kurt Angle’s a competitor. The ultimate competitor if you want. It don’t matter how big or small the match. He wants to win.

Jonathan Coachman: Tonight’s not about what he wants, J.R. Tonight’s about what Eric Bischoff wants, and Kurt Angle better remember that.

Joey Styles: Thank you, Coach, but I don’t think Kurt Angle ever tries to win for anyone other than himself. That’s why he’s the machine he is.

That intense glaze beginning to wash across his face, Angle makes it to the foot of the ramp as Cena approaches the ropes, calling Kurt on in. A sick smile on his face, the only Olympic Gold Medallist in professional wrestling history does not need asking twice as he reaches down, unfastens the belt around his waist and–

***READY?*** The crowd reacts with shock, and Angle stops on the steps, furious, an expression shared identically by Cena, as the familiar and quite frankly awesome theme music of ‘You Know Who’ hits over the PA. After a slight wait, filled with heat…

Joey Styles: What the … …

Jim Ross: Awwww, gimme a break!!


… here they come. All 5 members of THE SPIRIT SQUAD bound through the curtain onto the stage, getting some truly tremendous heat from the sold-out Milwaukee crowd; even with his music still playing, Kenny has a microphone to his lips…

Kenny: HEY, CENA! {shouting over the crowd & music} Before Mr. Bischoff and Mr. Estrada got called away on some urgent business, they didn’t get to make mention of, uh, what the little “stipulation” was.

Prowling the squared circle like a cage fighter, the Doctor Of Thuganomics looks about ready to flip, as Angle {also, uh, quite displeased} watches from the apron, and Kenny smirks, their entrance music still playing, stepping forward…

Kenny: What the stipulation is, Cena … {waves his hand at the Squad} is US! It’s a Handicap Match, gentlemen, SIX … on … ONE. You gotta get through him, {at Angle} and you gotta get through the FIIIIVE of us.

White hot heat from the crowd as Kenny & co. begin to saunter on down to the ring, loving every second of this, as their entrance theme continues to play through the arena, while Angle seethes, yelling “BULLSHIT!” at the approaching cheerleaders…

Jonathan Coachman: THIS IS BRILLIANT!!!

Jim Ross: This is a damn farce, that’s what this is, Coach!!

Joey Styles: How in god’s name can John Cena overcome this - this corporate set up to become Number One Contender??!!

The former-World Tag Team Champions try to go through their usual extravagant ring entrance routine … but BOTH John Cena AND Kurt Angle attack them before the opening bell, getting this, uh, ‘contest’ underway!!

Semi-Main Event; 6-on-1Handicap Match
WWE Champion Kurt Angle & The Spirit Squad vs. John Cena
*If Cena wins, he gets a WWE title shot at Backlash*

The match title truly is deceptive, as this is nothing more than a glorified mugging. Angle and Cena don’t even look at one another for the opening stages, as they rush and pound the former-World Tag Team Champions, trying to stay alive, levelling them with an outrageous flurry of high-impact offence, even booting a few of them in the gut and hurling them over the top rope to the outside.

Finally, a few minutes in, the numbers begin to tell, when Angle gets drilled with a BASEBALL SLIDE from Mitch, allowing Johnny to turn the tables on the WWE Champion and send him CRASHING shoulder-first into the steel steps! Back in the ring, Cena is at the mercy of Bischoff’s most loyal stooges, as he gets taken down with a chop block, during an F-U attempt on Kenny, making him easy pickings!

After several minutes of total domination on the self-proclaimed “Champ”, The Squad make for the finish line, throwing Cena up high, going for THE HIGH SPIRITS - but Angle catches Cena, and HURLS him into the cheerleaders! Angle quickly throws Mikey and Nicky through the ropes, and sets Kenny up for the OLYMPIC SLAM - but Mitch catches him with a DDT!! Angle hits the deck, and Kenny quickly scrambles up high, and goes for THE GUILLOTINE LEG DROP - AND NAILS IT!!!!!

Ken holds his hamstring, smiling, and points to the Cena, telling the others to get him. Mitch & Johnny … shrug and cover Angle instead, getting some laughs from the crowd at their stupidity. The referee shakes his head at the cheerleaders; Kenny berates his two teammates … while Cena makes it back to his feet! Kenny quickly sees him and charges, only for Cena to elevate him onto his shoulders and F-U KENNY OVER THE ROPES!!! Nicky & Johnny both wake up, and lunge for Cena … but he leaps aside, and the two men go TUMBLING through the ropes, to the floor!!!

The Squad lie in a crumpled mess around the ring, while Cena snarls over the ropes - WHAM!!!!!

Cena gets HUNG across the top rope THROAT FIRST by a wild lunge courteousy of Mikey, who takes a breather on the apron!! Springing backward, Cena barely has time to register what is going on as he FALLS right across the prone form of Kurt Angle, who is still down after the Guillotine Leg Drop!! Mikey looks up … but only as the referee sees Cena across Angle, whose shoulders are down and makes the cover! 1... 2………3!!!

Winner – John Cena via pin fall at 12:17. Cena gets a WWE title shot at Backlash.

The crowd ERUPTS with a tremendous ovation, though there is a huge proportion of boos thrown in there too, mainly because of who Cena just pinned to earn his shot. On the outside of the ring, Kenny sits holding his back in pain, scowling, while Mikey stands on the apron with, head in his hands; aghast. Within seconds of one of them speaking, the entire quintet are arguing with each other, pushing and shoving before the announce tables.

Jim Ross: MY GOD I DON’T BELIEVE IT!!! Cena just - how in the hell did Cena just pull that off to become Number One Contender??!!

Jonathan Coachman: He didn’t, J.R. Plain and simple. The Spirit Squad did all the work, and then if it wasn’t for a miscommunication between Johnny and Mitch, they could’ve pinned Cena and this travesty would never have happened!

Joey Styles: However fortunate John Cena may have just been, there can be no denying that with all of the odds stacked against him like they were, this is the fair result, and it means that at Backlash, for the WWE title, we are gonna see the match we all wanted, what even the two men themselves wanted: Kurt Angle versus John Cena … is ON!!!

Cena is up to his feet first, though it takes a hell of long time; he and Angle having just been worked over for the last straight ten minutes. The referee raises the blinking Doctor of Thuganomics’ hand, as the crowd cheers & boos, while Kurt Angle comes to across the ring also.

As Cena stands, using the ropes to hold himself up, he walks forward; Angle does the same on the opposite side as the referee hands him the WWE Championship, and slowly but surely … the main event at Backlash … for the WWE Championship … turn to face one another … eyes locked … in the centre of the squared circle. Calmly, Cena’s eyes float down the title belt on Kurt’s shoulders, the Olympian following his gaze, before mouthing “Backlash?”, which gets a matter-o-fact response from Cena, “Backlash”…


OH~” shrieks the Milwaukee masses, as Angle’s face is turned sideways from the blow, his demeanour having barely changed though, his eyes shut. Booming heat pours down from the rafters as Cena arrogantly eyeballs the reigning champion, searching for a reaction.

Opening his eyes slowly, Angle turns his head back towards Cena, gives him a quick nod and THE DOCTOR OF THUGANOMICS QUICKLY DROPS DOWN - ROLLING OUT OF THE RING!!

Jim Ross: What the hell was that?!?!

The crowd boos thunderously, no mixed reaction this time, as Angle absolutely fumes in the wing, his face still stinging from the blow. Heading back up the ramp, a fierce smirk on his face, Cena, holds up his middle finger to the WWE Champion, saying, “I’m number one, baby” slowly turning his hand around ... to flip Kurt Angle the bird, adding to it with a “fuck you” as the two opponents for Backlash lock eyes: one set arrogant, confident & sure; the other, wild, intense … psychotic. Fade out…

{Commercial Break}

~ Intercontinental Championship Moment - September 12, 2004 - Unforgiven - Chris Jericho makes wrestling history by defeating fellow Canadian Christian in a gruelling contest to capture the vacant Intercontinental Championship, his 7th, which still stands today as the record number of title reigns.

Match #4 - Tag Team Match
The Redneck Wrecking Crew vs. Goldust & Gene Snitsky

This obviously isn’t the main attraction of the evening, but it does serve it’s purpose, ensuring that Cade & Murdoch’s winning streak continues against slightly tougher competition. And eventually, the onslaught of the uber-aggressive tandem is too much for even the popular duo of Goldust and Snitsky to overcome. Goldust has all the support, but in the end, it’s the devastating SWEET ‘N’ SOUR from the former World Tag Team Champions to Big Gene, enabling Murdoch to get the pin and make another huge statement.

Winners – The Redneck Wrecking Crew via pin fall @ 4:27.

Jonathan Coachman: If I’m Shelton Benjamin or Charlie Haas … I don’t think I’d even show up to Kentucky in three weeks. I’d just hand the World Tag Team titles back to my boys The Spirit Squad, ‘cause let’s face it, it’s gonna take some real men to stand up to Cade & Murdoch … and that ain’t “Benji” and “Chaz”.

Joey Styles: Well, Trevor Murdoch and Lance Cade are on one hell of roll right now, whatever the case. As Coach alluded to, we will see the World Tag Team titles on the line at Backlash {graphic appears} when the World’s Greatest Tag Team defend the gold against the former champs, The Spirit Squad in, if you can believe it … a 5-on-2 Handicap Match.

Jim Ross: And later tonight, it gets no easier for young Benjamin, as he steps into the ring with the 7ft, 500lb Big Show with his other title, the Intercontinental Championship, on the line.

A vignette plays …


Inter-cutting shots flash across the screen of Ric Flair, from his early days in the NWA, to his career in WCW, his creation of the incomparable Four Horsemen, his time in Evolution, his wars with Steamboat, Funk etc. all as ‘Also Sprach Zarathustra’ begins to slowly play over the top…

Ric Flair: There comes a time in a man’s life …

Jim Ross: {echoing} SIX - TEEN TIMES the Heavyweight Champion of the World …

Shot of Naitch on his knees, World Heavyweight title in his grateful arms.

Ric Flair: When you gotta take some time to reflect …

Jerry Lawler: {echoing} It’s all about stylin’ and profilin’ …

Quick shots of Flair displaying some of his hypnotic, unparalleled charisma.

Ric Flair: Reflect on what’s most important in life …

Arn Anderson: {echoing} I would die for Ric Flair …

Shots of Flair’s friendships with the likes of AA, Triple H, Barry Wydham, Batista, Sting & Randy Orton.

Ric Flair: Like your family and your health …

Jim Ross: {echoing} They should give this man his own wing in the Hall Of Fame …

More flashing shots of Flair wowing crowds all around the world, from the U.S to Japan, from the United Kingdom to Canada.

Ric Flair: And I’ll have the answers … soon enough …

Final image of The Nature Boy at WrestleMania 22, adorned in one of his custom robes, arms outstretched, twirling majestically on the spot…

Ric Flair: … … … Backlash … … …


Returning from the video, backstage Todd Grisham stands by with microphone in hand.

Todd Grisham: Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time … he is one-half of the World Tag Team Champions, and the Intercontinental Champion … Shelton Benjamin.

Shelton Benjamin strides into screenshot, dressed to compete, with a gaudy, silver satin shirt on over the top, as well as his two title belts; the IC one over his shoulder and the tag title strapped around his waist. Despite receiving a huge pop from the rowdy crowd, Benjamin doesn’t seem to notice, instead looking exceedingly focused.

Todd Grisham: {pointing to the belt} As you can see, the name still says “Shelton Benjamin” but one has to wonder for just how long, as in less than a half-hours, Shelton, you put your gold on the line against the 7ft, 500lb, in short, the largest athlete in the world, The Big Show. One has to wonder, even for a double-champion like yourself, how can you beat such a man?

Shelton Benjamin: {frowns, air quote} Woooorld’s Largest Athlete?”

Todd Grisham: Well, uh, yeah, he is.

Shelton Benjamin: You know what? Four months ago when I beat “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair for the Intercontinental title, that was all about makin’ history; and just eight days ago, WrestleMania Twenty-Two, World Tag Team titles? Same thing.

Benji pauses to rub his jaw, while Grisham looks confused.

Todd Grisham: But it’s The Big-

Shelton Benjamin: I’m aware of that, poindexter.

Todd Grisham: Sorry, (mumbling).

Shelton Benjamin: But on this night, {points} Shelton Benjamin has a plan, on this night Shelton Benjamin has a vision … and that vision is to stick it to Eric Bischoff and his bunch o’ little singin’ pansies, The Spirit Squad, by slayin’ the biggest dragon that I have ever faced, in the 7ft, 500lb … Big Show.

Grisham nods, impressed by Shelton’s intensity as the crowd cheers.

Shelton Benjamin: Aaaaand {showing a bit more of his loveable cocky side} the first order of business is gonna be to prove to my partner, my friend, the man that everyone seems so hell-bent on pushin’ away from me, Charlie Haas, knows I can do this without him.

Pop for the solidarity towards Haas, but Grisham still looks unsatisfied.

Todd Grisham: But-- well, do you not see any possibility of a man the size of The Big Show, a former 2-time WWE Champion himself, with all of the odds stacked against you, can you not see him taking your title tonight?

Shelton Benjamin: {shaking his head} 2-time WWE Champion?” “A former 2-time WWE Champion?” How many times do I have to say it? Not only am I a 2-time Intercontinental Champion, 3-time tag team champion, and the one and only double-champion currently walkin’ the halls of the WWE right now … but I am simply the very best athlete to ever set foot in the squared circle.

Bit of a mixed reaction for this as Benji tries to psyche himself up.

Shelton Benjamin: He can be more experienced than me, he can have held more titles than me, they can have their buddies with ‘em in the corner … they can be {air marquee} The Wooooorld’s Largest Athlete” and outweigh me by over 500lbs … they can stand over me by a foot … it doesn’t matter!

A better, friendlier pop this time, as Shelton hammers it home.

Shelton Benjamin: There is NO ONE … I repeat, NO ONE {turns to the camera} heck, I’ll say it one more time for you, Show, ‘cause I know ya watchin’,: NO ONE good enough or bad enough … to take either of these titles away … from Shelton Benjamin.

Some great cheers from the crowd, with Benjamin staying focused on the screen.

Shelton Benjamin: So, Bischoff you stack ‘em up as many and as big as you want, ‘cause it - just - don’t - matter. You line ‘em up, and me, and Charlie’ll keep on knockin’ ‘em right back through your door. Five on two at Backlash? Not that it makes a difference, but we ACCEPT, and when I’m done with Paul Bearer’s hunk o’ crap tonight, I’m gonna be addin’ those five pretty boys to your injury list, Eric.

Another eruption from Milwaukee as Shelton turns back to Grisham.

Shelton Benjamin: Any mo’ questions?

Todd just shakes his head dumbly, slightly intimidated by the intensity of the double-champion. Nodding coldly, Benjamin gives the camera one last glance, before he turns and walks away.

Jim Ross: {voice over} We heard it announced at the start of the night, and it’s finally here. The Doctor Of Thuganomics versus The Wrestling Machine. Cena versus Angle. If Cena wins he gets a WWE title shot at Backlash. Will he do it? And what’s this damn stipulation? We’ll get the answers, NEXT!!

{Commercial Break}

~ Highlights of last week, and the WGTT defeating The Basham Brothers. After the match The Big Show stormed the ring and took out both men, with some assistance from The Spirit Squad, declaring his intention to cash in his IC title on Shelton this week.

Main Event - Intercontinental Championship Match
Shelton Benjamin defends against The Big Show

If you thought Shelton Benjamin was aware of his predicament before, once the bell rings, poor Benji looks positively aghast before at who or what he is up against, full aware that he is not only stepping into the ring with the World’s Largest Athlete, but also a fully-fledged psychotic monster, accompanied by one of the most evil, sinister and Machiavellian men in professional wrestling history: Paul Bearer.

Shelton uses his incredible speed to begin with, until, four minutes into it, the 500lber has seen enough, and The Big Show opts to “take it to the streets”, hurling Benji through the ropes with the Cobra Clutch Backbreaker. Show lumbers after him, and looks to break the champ in half … but it’s a miss, as the double-champion leaps out of the way and Big Show only succeeds in knocking Jonathan Coachman to the floor!

Back in the ring, Shelton manages to hold the mastodon off for the next few minutes, before trying to end it, going for the impossible, the T-BONE SUPLEX - but Show doesn’t move on goddamn inch! Hand around the terrified Benjamin’s throat, Show quickly lifts him up, and goes for the CHOKESLAM - but Shelton slips out!! Benji races off the ropes, as Big Show angrily whirls around, and Benji LEAPS UP - BAM!!!!!

Shelton gets KNOCKED OUT by a BIG RIGHT HAND shot, sending the poor Intercontinental Champion crashing down against the turnbuckle!! The ref checks on Benji, but Show drags the hapless sod out of the way, before tossing him aside. The crowd boos feverishly while Big Show leans on in, lifting Shelton up by his chin, ignoring the fact that he is quite clearly unconscious.

The crowd erupts into heat … but that soon turns into deafening cheers as ROB VAN DAM appears at the top of the ramp, and begins to make his way down the ramp!!!

Paul Bearer screams, but Big Show simply glowers, and points threateningly up the ramp at the approaching Whole Damn Show. The giant … turns back around to Shelton, and draws his fist right back, ignoring the official’s threats that if he doesn’t let Benjamin out of the corner he’ll be DQ’d. RVD sees the urgency of the situation, as the crowd chants his name … and makes a beeline for the ring! Rob springs onto the apron … but Bearer grabs hold of his leg, managing to drag him off, as Show takes Benji by the back of his head! The Big Show keeps his gaze on a stranded Van Dam, and KNOCK OOOOOUT!!! … Benjamin’s skull SMASHES into the canvas, and the ref immediately calls for the bell!!!

Winner - Shelton Benjamin via DQ @ 10:57. Shelton retains Intercontinental Title.

The bell may have sounded, but The Big Show is still far from finished, continuing to pound away on the still Intercontinental Champion with body shots!! Milwaukee boos relentlessly as the 7ft, 500lb goes to town on the youngster. All the while keeping his eyes on the struggling Rob Van Dam, Big Show drags Benji up by his face, before DRILLING him with a STIFF head butt, dropping the champ back down, his skull cracked open like an egg, BLEEDING PROFUSELY like he was just stabbed in the face!

Jim Ross: This is absolutely SICK! Why the HELL doesn’t Bischoff send some help down here??!!

Jonathan Coachman: He sent Rob Van Dam, and LOOK, he’s just having a chat with Paul!!

Outside the ring, Rob Van Dam looks so unbelievably distressed, his fist drawn back, posed to strike the, as J.R puts it, “Rotund One”, but restraining himself from doing so … until P.B. SPITS right in his face, “c’mon, Rob, this is on you!” As though the words echo through the building, Van Dam stares straight into Bearer’s eyes, aghast … until CHARLIE HAAS COMES RACING DOWN THE RAMP, PAST THEM BOTH AND TO THE RING!!!

The crowd roars as Haas, without a second look at Mr. Monday Night & P.B. hurtles down the ramp … and ROB VAN DAM YELLS “FUCK IT”, HEAD BUTTING BEARER IN THE NOSE DOWN TO THE FLOOR, AND SPRINTING RIGHT AFTER THE TAG CHAMPION!!! Milwaukee is on their feet, as both Haas and RVD slide into the ring, where the proverbial immovable object, The Big Show stands up tall. The 7ft behemoth calls them on in and both men swing with HARD RIGHTS TO THE FACE OF SHOW … THEN ANOTHER … AND THEN MORE AND MORE!!


An army of refs run down to the ring, and attempt to break up the brawl … until finally, Haas and Van Dam race forward, rearing back, CLOTHESLINING THE 500 POUNDER CARTWHEELING OVER THE TOP ROPE!! The mastodon lands on his feet, scowling up at the intense RVD, eyes locked, leaving Haas to kneel down the ring to check on his partner; the totally annihilated & bloody carcass sprawled across the canvas. No sooner have his feet touched the floor then Show grabs hold of the top rope once again, beginning his ascent back into the ring-

Paul Bearer:{out screenshot} NNNNOOOO!!!! DON’T YOU DO IT, SHOW!!! DON’T YOU DO IT!!!

The camera swings around to where, rolling and bumbling like the fabled ‘Fat Man’, his shirt, tie, jacket & collar torn ragged, and clutching a microphone in his perspiring, pathetic, pudgy paws, Paul Bearer stumbles backward up the ramp, waving a chubby fist down at the ring, where a confused Rob Van Stands, hands on hips…

Paul Bearer: {breathing heavily} W - WEEEELLLL CONGRATULAAATIONS, ROB!!! {points threateningly at the bloody Benjamin} Don’t look so SURPRAAASED. COME OWN’!! {as Big Show returns up the ramp} You know as well as ah’, when they talk about things that go “bump” in the night … they’re talkin’ about … MAH’ GIIIIANT!!!!

Shaking his head, RVD just mouths “what the fuck?” up the ramp, holding his hands out for an explanation…

Paul Bearer: {gesticulating, manic} LAAAASSSSTTTT WEEEEK … Our good friend, the ESTEEEEMED General Manager of Monday Night Raw, Mr. Eric Bischoff … he asked a favour of Paul Bearer, and mah’ giant. That was last week, ladies and gentlemen, and what ahm’ about to show ya all NOOOW is the PRICE you pay {Show drags the nearby cameraman in ~___~}, for messin’ with the dark. {turns to titantron} Let’s take a look, shall we? … … …

Directed by the podgy little puppet master and his monster, Bearer & Show, the crowd, J.R, Coach, Styles, Haas {Benjamin’s still out}, in short, every single person in the building, but most importantly, Rob Van Dam, turn their gaze up to the dark titantron as it begins to flicker…


The image opens, but not as smooth or clear-cut as we are used too visually; instead it is grainy, almost black & white, and shaky, as though being recorded on a handheld camera. The footage appears to be coming from some kind of basement within a rundown structure of some description; almost entirely shrouded in darkness, but for a few reams of light flickering across the lens.

Before us, directly in the camera line, a figure is sat on a wooden chair. Their head is slumped down to their chest, with their hands hidden behind the chair … tied up? The figure, dressed in a dark, one-piece wrestling attire, complete with matted long hair, is visibly shaking. It becomes clearer that this poor individual is male, as the camera closes; he is covered in bruises and cuts, obviously having been physically worked over quite recently.

Paul Bearer:{off screenshot, obviously holding the camera} Tell them your naaaame …

???: {mumbling} … … … Eu - Eugene

Paul Bearer: Are … are you not the REEEAAALLL Rob Van Dayum’ then?

Clearly terrified, EUGENE shakes his head, still not looking up to show us his face.

Eugene: {sobbing} N - N - No.

Paul Bearer: {mocking} Noooo”? “Noooo”? {moves forward, pulling at Eugene’s outfit} Then WHYYYY are you dressed up lak’ him, Eugene?

Eugene: B - Because he {looking to his right} m - made me.

Eerily, the camera slowly pans across in Bearer’s hand to where THE BIG SHOW is standing in the shadows, all 7ft, 500lbs of him, dressed like a mobster in all black, jeans, shirt, jacket, gloves & all; wiping the blood from his fists, and glowering hungrily at the fragile and petrified wrestler in the chair.

Paul Bearer: OHHHH YEEEESSSS! Ah’ can see NOW why you did whatcha’ did. {High-pitched, shrill} FEEEEAAAARRRR!!!! It’s because you FEAR the monsters that your momma and your daddy WAARNED you about. You check your closet and say your PRAYERS … but Rob Van Dam … he doesn’t think there’s ANYTHANG … to be afraid of … anymore …

Panning across to Show, Bearer’s hand thrusts into screenshot, pointing at the shadowy behemoth.

Paul Bearer: Take a GOOOOD look at him, Eugene.

Shaking violently, Eugene refuses to raise his head, instead continuing to whimper into his chest uncontrollably…

The Big Show: {SLAMS his boot into the ground} HE SAID “LOOOOK - AT ME”!!!!

Reluctantly, the terrified and bloody young man raises his head and looks across at the fearsome 500lb mastodon, who towers over him, his bloody fingers brushing against helpless captive’s cheeks…

Paul Bearer: You SEEEE? {Points at Show} THIS is what Rob Van Dam means to the Dubya’ Dubya’ E. If ya WIIIISH to feel safe in your place of work once mo’? “R … V … D” must PACK - HIS - BAGS … and go far, FAAAARRRR away from Eric Bischoff and the wrestlin’ business … forever

Bearer moves forward with the camera once again, until he his virtually right up against the monstrous Big Show, whose skillet-like hands are poised around Eugene’s quivering throat…

Paul Bearer: OOOHHH YYYYEEEESSSS!! An’, Rob … one more thing … if you DON’T do as we say … THIS {pats Show on chest} is what each and EVERY lil’ superstar sat in the back right NOOOWWW, hopin’ for their big break … THIS is what they can look forward to comin’ outta the dark … … … …

As P.B’s hideous cry echoes through the room, Big Show yanks Eugene’s head up by the hair, shoving his face right into the camera: BLOODY, bruised, blackened, tearful, and oh…

Paul Bearer: … for …









Date: April 30th, 2006
Location: Rupp Arena; Lexington, Kentucky
Event Music: Danko Jones; Baby Hates Me

WWE Championship Match:
‘The Wrestling Machine’ Kurt Angle © vs. ‘The Doctor of Thuganomics’ John Cena

After all the speculation, Ric Flair has promised some answers


Women’s Championship; Triple Threat Match:
Trish Stratus © vs. Mickie James vs. Victoria

World Tag Team Championship; 5-On-2 Handicap Match:
World’s Greatest Tag Team © vs. The Spirit Squad
(All members of the Spirit Squad are eligible; if any one of them pins either Haas or Benjamin, he will win the World Tag Team titles for his entire team)

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