Re: Renegade Presents: WWE 2003 - Now Go Home And Get Your Fucking Shinebox
Cole & Tazz open the show, hyping up tonight's card which includes the remaining two first round matches of the United States Title Tournament, with Chris Benoit facing The A-Train and Rhyno taking on The Big Show. Also we are told that The Undertaker will face Shelton Benjamin and Hulk Hogan will take on Charlie Haas, plus Kurt Angle will take on a mystery opponent of Brock Lesnar's choosing. The duo continue to talk things over when they are interrupted by *MEDAL* hitting the sounds, and Team Angle heading to the ring to a chorus of boos and jeers. Kurt leads the line, looking incredibly pissed off after being reduced to begging for another title shot last week by Lesnar. Kurt takes a mic and get's ready to talk, but he's cut off by a "You Suck" chant, which infuriates Angle
Angle says he's sick and tired of the disrespect he's been shown by everyone lately. He's sick of hearing of how he sucks from all the "nobodies" in the crowd, claiming they don't know anything. Angle says he won a Gold medal for this country at the Olympics with a broken neck, and he's repaid with immature chants and jeers from redneck morons. And the way he was treated by Brock Lesnar last week just sent him over the edge. Angle tells everyone he's gonna make Lesnar wish he never accepted to have Angle added to the Taker/Hogan match at Backlash. Angle says he's gonna make one of them tap, then he's gonna make Lesnar tap, break his ankle into a million pieces and take back his title. Heat for that. Kurt then begins to question Stephanie McMahon's conduct as the shows General Manager, allowing what happened last week to go ahead. Angle then demands Lesnar get's out here right now and announces his mystery opponent, because he's ready to go, right here and right now. Almost on cue *HERE COMES THE PAIN* hits and out comes Brock Lesnar to a huge pop from the Nashville crowd. Lesnar has a massive shit eating grin across his face. Lesnar doesn't say anything as Angle fumes at his nemesis, standing in the ring, looking close to boiling point. Brock finally breaks his silence and asks Kurt what the problem is?
The crowd erupts and Angle yells back "YOU'RE THE DAMN PROBLEM!" Kurt then tells Lesnar to lap it up while he can, because this time next month, Angle will be the main man again and Lesnar will be reduced to begging for rematches. Angle then demands Lesnar introduce his opponent, and Brock obliges, calling out his selected wrestler. There is a pause as the crowd awaits in anticipation, before *HART ATTACK* hits over the speakers to an INSANE reaction from the fans, with Cole & Tazz losing their minds as the music of the legendary Bret Hart booms out into the arena. Kurt Angle has a mixed look of shock and a bit of worry on his face as the theme continues to play, but there is no appearance from Hart. Eventually, the camera cuts to see Lesnar laughing, it was a prank! The crowd are disappointed, but they do see the funny side of it, as Angle had looked genuinely scared. Lesnar apologizes to the fans, and says he couldn't help himself. Lesnar then says for Angle's opponent to come out again, and *GLASS SHATTERS* rocks the arena to another THUNDEROUS ovation as the theme of the Rattlesnake hits with Angle once again shocked, but just like with Hart, Stone Cold is a no show, much to the disappointment of the fans again, and Kurt Angle is beside himself now, and tells Lesnar to quit stalling. Brock once again says sorry to the disappointed crowd and then calls for Angle's opponent for a third time, as *ENTRY* hits and it's DOINK THE CLOWN who appears on stage. Tazz & Cole, who after busting a nut when Hart & Austin's theme's played, can't help but laugh as Doink heads to the ring, as Lesnar grins from ear to ear and Kurt Angle goes redder than a beetroot in anger
Match 1; Singles Match
Doink The Clown w/Brock Lesnar vs Kurt Angle w/Team Angle
Unfortunately for Doink, Kurt Angle takes all his frustration out on the poor clown, as the Wrestling Machine beats him from pillar to post, hitting all his signature moves along the way, before planting him with an OLYMPIC SLAM and then finishing him off with the ANKLE LOCK! Doink has no choice but to tap out
Winner @ 1:56 - Kurt Angle
Angle continues to keep the hold locked on after the bell is rung, which causes Lesnar to get into the ring, and Angle wisely let's go of the hold and exits the ring, not wanting to risk his condition three days ahead of the big triple threat match at Backlash. Angle mouths to Lesnar "that'll be you soon" as he and Team Angle retreat up the ramp
We return backstage and John Cena is standing by, in front of a camera, and it's RAP TIME!~
Yo, so John Cena got his place at Backlash booked
Whether it's Benoit or the A-Train, they gonna get cooked
Either way, they just another stepping stone to the title
I'll become so famous with the US strap, they'll treat my victory quotes as the new bible!
Chris Benoit claims to have Ruthless Aggression
If he ends up in my way, he'll suffer a toothless recession
Benoit, you're just another glorified canuck
You have the Crossface, but I'll give ya the skullf*ck!
Nah that ain't gay, nuh-uh, I ain't like that
I'm like David Clyde for the Texas Rangers, for that team I don't bat
You may be the Rabid Wolverine, but John Cena's the meanest
I'll take your hockey stick and cut off your penis!
And A-Train, big man, the crowd chants for you to Shave Your Back
Hell big man, if that's the case, I'd hate to see your nutsack!
It's a worrying thing man, forget about seeing me slick
With all that hair around, you can't even see your own dick!
I don't know if you understand what I mean, but come Backlash you'll see what I got
You're like an anti-climax, and I'm a quadruple viagra shot!
You might be 300 plus, but that don't scare me, I'm a one man army
The only thing that scares me is the fact your favourite game is hide the salami!
Match 2; Singles Match
United States Championship Tournament First Round
Chris Benoit vs A-Train
Benoit starts strong, but A-Train's raw power sees the (woolly) mammoth control the Rabid Wolverine for the majority of the contest, but when Train misses a Body Avalanche in the corner, Benoit takes him down with a trifecta of German Suplexes, and then scores with the DIVING HEADBUTT! 1...2..NO! Kickout by A-Train. Benoit unloads with right's and knife edge chops, but A-Train shoves him back into the corner. Benoit comes back at Train, but eats a huge FRONT AXE KICK! A-Train covers 1...2..NO! Benoit gets a shoulder up! A-Train scoops up Benoit and goes for the TRAINWRECK...but Benoit slips out and takes A-Train down with the CROSSFACE! A-Train tries to fight it but can't and taps out, with Benoit advancing to face Cena at Backlash!
Winner @ 6:43 - Chris Benoit
As Benoit celebrates his victory we fade out to a hype package that has been playing over the last few weeks, with the same format as previous weeks, talking about how "No one has raised more hell, caused more controv-". The package is cut off, and a statement is made that Vince McMahon has paid for the following air time, and a video package hyping Vince's announcement at Backlash airs instead. Cole & Tazz discuss the events of these packages and interruptions over the past few weeks as we fade to a break
Match 3; Singles Match
Hulk Hogan vs Charlie Haas
The crowd is hot as ever for Hogan, cheering everything that Hulkamania does, and booing the crap out of Haas each time he ruins the mood. Haas works the neck area of Hogan, trying to keep the legend down, and manages to lock Hogan in a Sleeper Hold, wearing him down, but just when it looks like Hogan is done, he saves his hand from dropping a third time, he has the crowd behind him as he battles back to his feet, fires a few elbows to Haas' midsection as Haas breaks the hold, and Charlie hits Hulk with a right hand, BUT HOGAN NO SELLS IT AND BEGINS TO HULK UP!~ The crowd goes wild as Hogan unloads with rights to Haas, then whips him to the ropes and goes for the BIG BOOT...but Haas ducks under it, spins Hogan around into the EXPLODER...no, Hogan is too powerful, and scoops Haas up, and plants him with a Scoop Slam...THEN DROPS THE LEG! Hogan covers for the win to a fairly shit match!
Winner @ 5:48 - Hulk Hogan
Backstage now and we are in the office of Stephanie McMahon. Steph is on the phone to someone when there is a knock on the door and in walks none other than Vince McMahon! Heat for Vinnie Mac, and Steph looks up, notices it's her father, and ends her conversation on the phone. Vince simply tells Steph he's not going to cause any further animosity between the two, he just wanted to remind Steph about Sunday. Steph says she hasn't forgetten about the announcement, but Vince should be reminded that a certain superstar is not happy with Vince continually cutting off his video packages. Vince smirks and like the BIG MAN he is, tells Steph that if this person, whoever they are, has a problem with what has been going on, he can show his face at Backlash and confront Vince over it, man to man. Steph said she was just talking to the person on the phone, and that it's almost guaranteed that he will do just that. Vince again smirks and walks off without a care in the world, as his daughter stares at him until he's out of sight, and when Vince is, Steph can't help but let out a smirk of her own
Steve Romero is now backstage with The Undertaker, interviewing him about his match with Shelton Benjamin later tonight. Undertaker says he's gonna take Benji to school, but doesn't get much further AS HE IS ATTACKED BY TEAM ANGLE! Angle, Benji & Haas go to work on Taker right there backstage, as Romero yells for help, Angle threatens him, causing Romero to back off, as Team Angle pick apart the Deadman, with the trio focusing on Taker's left leg, Benjamin takes a CONVINIENTLY PLACED!~ Trash Can and drops it over Taker's leg multiple times, as Haas supplements the attack with stomps to the leg in between trash can shots, and then Angle locks the ANKLE LOCK on Taker. Finally security, referees and agents show up and break the assault up, but the damage looks done as Taker is clutching at his leg in pain. Cole & Tazz berate the actions of Team Angle as we get ready for our next match
Match 4; Singles Match
United States Championship Tournament First Round
Rhyno vs The Big Show
The crowd is on Rhyno's side, but Big Show looks impressive here, man handling the Man Beast for the majority of the match. Rhyno does mount a comeback, and has Show reeling, but as he goes for the GORE...he eats a huge boot to the face! Big Show then picks up a groggy Rhyno and plants him with the PEARL HARBOUR CRASH! Show advances to face Eddie Guerrero at Backlash!
Winner @ 4:56 - The Big Show
We cut backstage to see Eddie Guerrero watching Show's victory on a monitor, and Eddie look's far from confident knowing that Show will be his opponent this Sunday
We return and Funaki is with Chris Benoit. Benoit says he's sick of hearing John Cena talk crap with his raps, and that this Sunday, he's gonna shut Cena up for good. Benoit tells Cena he's living a marked man now, and at Backlash, Benoit's gonna make him tap [/end awful promo from awful mic worker]
Match 5; Singles Match
The Undertaker vs Shelton Benjamin w/Team Angle
Taker limps to the ring with a purpose and despite copping a beating earlier, and fighting on one and a half legs, he gives Shelton a beating in the early going, until the fight spills to the outside, and the numbers game catches up with Taker, as Haas distracts him long enough for Benji to chop block out Taker's leg. Cue a long period of dominance from Shelton, working over the left leg of Taker some more, with help from Angle and Haas behind the ref's back. Shelton looks to finish off Taker with a Texas Cloverleaf, but Taker fights outt of it with some big soupbones. Taker struggles to his feet and catches Benji coming in, scooping him up and dropping him onto the turnbuckle with the Snake Eyes! Taker limps to the ropes, wanting to follow up with a leg drop, but his leg buckles. Taker limps back to Shelton and brings him to his feet and levels him with a big soupbone again, then turns to Angle and motions he's gonna finish Benji off, but Shelton breaks free of Taker's grip and scores with the impressive DRAGON WHIP! Cover 1...2..NO! Taker kicks out. Shelton tries to stay in control again but Taker easily gets the upper hand of a fist fight and throttles Benji, going for the CHOKESLAM...but Haas hops on the apron, distracts the ref and Shelton KICKS TAKER IN THE BALLS!
Heat for this and Shelton now plants Undertaker with the T-BONE SUPLEX! Shelton covers 1...2..THE REF IS PULLED OUT OF THE RING...BY HULK HOGAN! The crowd erupts for this as Hogan saves the match from a robbery. The match goes through a commercial and we return to see Shelton working Taker with right hands in the corner, when Taker recieves a second wind, and throws Shelton into the corner before unloading with a barrage of right's and left's to Benji's gut and head. Taker then scoops Shelton up and goes for the TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER...BUT KURT ANGLE GETS ON THE APRON AND PULLS SHELTON OUT THE BACK! Taker turns around and eats a Super Kick from Shelton! Cover 1...2..Taker kicks out! The crowd is giving massive heat but suddenly they explode as BROCK LESNAR comes charging down to ringside, and he takes Angle down! The two go at it on the outside as Hogan goes for Charlie Haas, leaving Taker and Benji in the ring. Benji whips Taker to the corner and follows in, leaping up to mount Taker and begins to hit some right hands to the Deadman. However, from no where, TAKER GRABS AHOLD OF BENJI AND WALKS HIM OUT OF THE CORNER AND DROPS HIM WITH THE LAST RIDE! The crowd goes wild and Taker covers Benji 1...2...3! Taker wins a crazy main event here
Winner @ 12:18 - The Undertaker
Undertaker scores a huge win, but he doesn't celebrate for long as KURT ANGLE TAKES HIM DOWN WITH AN OLYMPIC SLAM! Heat for this, but Angle then EATS A BIG BOOT FROM HOGAN, WHO THEN DROPS A LEG ACROSS ANGLE! The crowd goes wild for Hogan, but The Hulkster showboats and is punished by Lesnar, WHO DRILLS HOGAN WITH THE F5! The WWE Champion stands tall over the carnage around him, and the three men he'll be officiating at Backlash on Sunday
Current Card for WWE Backlash
World Heavyweight Championship; Steel Cage Match
Booker T vs Triple H (c)
20 Man Over The Top Rope Battle Royal for the Intercontinental Championship
Shawn Michaels vs Kevin Nash vs RVD vs Kane vs Maven vs Jeff Hardy vs The Hurricane vs Test vs Goldust vs Tommy Dreamer vs Chris Jericho vs Christian vs Randy Orton vs Batista vs Ric Flair vs Lance Storm vs William Regal vs Chris Nowinski vs D'Lo Brown vs Mark Henry
Scott Steiner vs The Rock
Elimination Tables Match; 6 Man Tag
The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray, D-Von & Spike) vs 3 Minute Warning (Jamal, Rosey & Rico)
Women's Championship Match
Trish Stratus (c) vs Victoria
Triple Threat Match; Number One Contender for the WWE Title
Guest Referee: Brock Lesnar
The Undertaker vs Hulk Hogan vs Kurt Angle
United States Championship Semi Final #1
Eddie Guerrero vs The Big Show
United States Championship Semi Final #2
Chris Benoit vs John Cena
Plus Vince McMahon's announcement!
Feel free to post predics aswell as comments (both or either will be returned), Backlash should be up within the next two weeks