Alright, uh, this just a note from me, just to share my feelings on this show. I've been lurking this section for about...3-4 years, and since then I've literally tried to write hundreds of BTB's. I usually finished a backstory, but in those hundreds, I had never written a full show. Single matches and promos? Yeah, I've done some. But never a full show. So this is my first ever full show. It's not perfect, which is why any feedback would be VERY appreciated, but I am extremely fond of this one show, just because, like I said, its my first full show in 4 years of BTB. Anyways, sorry to waste your time with my drabble, here it is. ECW Hardcore TV
January 9, 2001
Hammerstein Ballroom, New York
"The following program contains multiple instances of foul language, lewd references, bloody displays of violence, and Balls Mahoney. Viewer discretion is advised. ECW, no minors, no exceptions.”
The logo begins fading out and we go to a video montage of Guilty as Charged 2001! The montage shows some of the highlights from the event, like the brutal Anderson/Dreamer match, Doring and Roadkill defending their tag team titles, and Sandman winning his 5th ECW Championship, only to have it taken by RHINO moments later! The video shows a quick reel of clips from the final match on the card, where a returning Rob Van Dam defeated Jerry Lynn. The montage ends with a shot of RVD doing his signature thumb taunt, before fading into the usual ECW opening video, to the sounds of “This is Extreme” by Harry Slash and the Slashtones. As the song and opening video reaches its fever pitch, Joey Styles screams out in the background…“THIS IS EXTREME!”.
With the opening done, we are now in the Hammerstein Ballroom, and in the center of the ring is “The Voice of Extreme Championship Wrestling” Joey Styles! Surrounding the ring on all sides, are the always rabid New York crowd, and they are making their voices be heard! But after a while, they begin to quiet down, as much as any ECW crowd can, and Joey begins speaking.
“We are at The Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City, New York, and this is…ECW Hardcore TV! That’s right, we can not be stopped, we can not be silenced, despite whatever Uncle Eric and his entourage up in Atlanta might say! No, ECW is alive and kicking, and we showed that last night… on Pay-Per-View at Guilty as Charged 2001! It was an action-packed show from top to bottom, with the World Heavyweight Championship switching hands….twice! But more of that later, lets get on to tonight’s show! In the main event, Rob Van Dam, who returned from his hiatus at Guilty as Charged, will be in action! The ECW tag team champions, Danny Doring and Roadkill, will also be in action, in a non-title match-up against Kid Kash and Super Crazy. But before that, CW Anderson will face off against one third of the F.B.I, Tony Mamaluke!"
Static fills the screen, and when it clears up, Joey Styles is no longer in the ring, replaced by veteran referee John Finnegan. "Sad But True" by Metallica hits cueing the entrance of one of the brightest wrestlers in the company, "The New Enforcer" CW Anderson. He gets a positive reaction, amplified by his performance in his match against Tommy Dreamer at last night's PPV, in which he took "The Innovator of Violence" to the limit, only to fall short. He comes out looking quite aggravated by his loss last night, his face contorted in a big frown. He rolls into the ring, not playing to the crowd at all, and just turns around, staring ahead to the ramp, waiting for his opponent.
"Stayin' Alive" by N-Trance hits to a wave of jeers as the whole F.B.I walk out the back, Tony Mamaluke in front. Apparently, Mamaluke will be the one in action, Little Guido encouraging him and whispering advice into his ear. Mamaluke looks at CW Anderson, and "The Enforcer" fiercely stares right back, giving the "Italian" a death glare. Tony Mamaluke hesitates at first, but after talking to Guido, he tentatively slides into the ring. With both men in the ring, the referee signals for the bell to ring, starting the match!
CW Anderson vs. Tony Mamaluke w/ F.B.I (Sal E. Graziano and Little Guido)
The bell rings and the two competitors immediately lock up. CW Anderson takes the advantage right from the start, with a strong knee thrust to the midsection. Mamaluke keels over, Anderson hooks him into a front headlock and brings him up into the air…Anderson keeps him up for a few seconds….delayed suplex! Mamaluke tries to crawl away, but “The Enforcer” doesn’t allow him to, booting him right on the small of his neck! Tony Mamaluke slowly gets up to his knees, using the ropes as leverage, but the moment he does, Anderson continues his assault. CW pounds into him with fierce punches, forcing the Italian to lean on the ropes. Irish-whip…Mamaluke rebounds off the ropes….BACK BODY DROP by CW Anderson! Tony goes flying into the air, and lands on the canvas with a thud.
Tony Mamaluke writhes in pain, clutching his back. He tries to escape to the outside, but Anderson will have none of that, dragging him, literally kicking and screaming, back to the center of the ring! Anderson helps Mamaluke up to a vertical base, and then hooks him into a front headlock. The maneuver is simple, but effective, putting pressure on his opponent’s neck. After about ten seconds of useless shoving, trying to power himself out, Mamaluke changes strategy. Using his free arm, he is able to reach up at Anderson’s face, and he rakes the eye! That does it, and “The Enforcer” releases the headlock. Anderson stumbles back a few steps, grabbing his eye, ending up near the ropes. He quickly recovers his bearings but before he can get back on the attack, “Big” Sal Graziano grabs his right foot! Anderson tries to kick the enforcer of the F.B.I away, and he succeeds, but when he turns back towards Mamaluke….BOOM, a sharp enziguiri finds its mark right on his face! CW goes down!
Tony Mamaluke immediately begins working over his opponents arm, softening it up with several sharp elbow drops and stomps. He cinches in a tight Fujiwara armbar, causing Anderson to grit his teeth in pain. After a while, “The Enforcer” begins showing signs of resistance…but before he can capitalize off of it, Mamaluke releases the hold and leaps into the air, hitting a hard double-foot stomp onto the weak arm! Anderson lets out a primal scream of pain, and Mamaluke responds to it by hitting ANOTHER double-foot stomp to the other arm!
Tony Mamaluke may be small, but he’s scrappy and tenacious! He has a hell of a mean streak and can be a dangerous opponent for anyone. If he continues working over that arm, he might be able to pull out this upset victory.
Tony Mamaluke raises his arms into the air triumphantly, a shit-eating grin on his face. After that moment of gloating, he goes back on the attack, wrapping his legs around CW Anderson’s arm. He then uses his hands to pull on Anderson’s other arm, locking in the Cross Armbar that he calls The Sicilian Necktie! It seems like there’s no way out for Anderson, who doesn’t even bother trying to escape. Instead, he focuses all his energy on trying to stay conscious, which he manages to do. Finally, after almost half a minute, he is STILL not unconscious, although he has definitely been damaged. In frustration, Mamaluke releases the armbar, instead going for a pinfall. ONE....TWO…..KICKOUT AT TWO AND A HALF! Anderson managed to stay alive in this match, much to the chagrin of Tony Mamaluke.
Mamaluke lifts Anderson up to his feet and then puts him in the corner. Tony raises his hands, and then hits a hard knife-edged chop…and CW Anderson responds in turn with a big right hand! Mamaluke is taken by surprise, and fires back with another chop. But Anderson counters him again, with another right. Mamaluke desperately unleashes a flurry of strikes, trying to put Anderson down, but “The Enforcer” not only stays up, but takes him down with a haymaker! Tony scrambles up to his feet, and jumps up, looking for a enziguiri….CW ducks under it…GERMAN SUPLEX! Both men are down, and try to get up before the other. They reach their feet about the same time, but Tony Mamaluke is still fresher and irish-whips Anderson….”The Enforcer” reverses the irish-whip, and sends Mamaluke to the ropes instead. Tony comes back…EXPLODER SUPLEX! Anderson tries to bridge it into a pin attempt…but the pain in his arm kicks in, and he can’t capitalize!
Mamaluke is able to roll to the outside, trying to get some rest. After a while, Anderson goes after him, getting out of the ring. Mamaluke tries to run away, but “The Enforcer” pursues him. Anderson grabs Mamaluke and then sends him crashing head-first into the fan barricade. But before he can do any more damage….from out of nowhere, Mamaluke’s stablemate Little Guido blindsides Anderson with a clothesline to the back of the head! But it doesn’t affect CW Anderson who grabs Guido by the shoulders…but Sal Graziano charges at him, steel chair in hand….CW sidesteps him…KABONG, “Big” Sal nails his own stablemate Little Guido with the chair! Guido crumbles to the floor, and Graziano drops the chair in shock. He turns towards Anderson….SUPERKICK from CW Anderson, taking the big man down!
With both Little Guido and “Big” Sal down, there’s nobody left to separate Anderson from Mamaluke, and “The Enforcer” throws his opponent right back into the ring, before entering himself. CW waits for Mamaluke to get up to his feet…he runs off the ropes…YAKUZA KICK that almost decapitates Mamaluke! The Sicilian is knocked clean out, but Anderson’s not done. “The Enforcer” brings Mamaluke back up to his feet, sends him into the ropes…..he slams Tony Mamaluke down with a EMPHATIC Spinning Spinebuster! ONE…TWO….THREE!
Winner: CW Anderson > Pinfall > Spinning Spinebuster
We are back on Hardcore TV, and we’re greeted by a EXTREME REPLAY from Guilty as Charged! More specifically, a replay of the fiasco surrounding the world title! It shows an exhausted Sandman winning the three-way ladder match for the ECW World Title, climbing the ladder and unhooking the belt to earn his fifth championship reign. But as he was celebrating, he was interrupted by none other than “The Man-Beast” Rhino, who demanded a title shot! Needless to say, the exhausted Sandman refused it, but eventually he had to give in, as Rhino threatened to KILL Sandman’s family! In the shape that Sandman was in, “The Extreme Icon” couldn’t even put up any offense, and Rhino was able to become the ONLY dual champion in ECW.
When the replay finishes, we go to Joey Styles backstage, standing in front of a ECW background.
“I am sad to report that The Sandman sustained several injuries at the hands of “The Man Beast” Rhino, and was not able to attend tonight’s show. HOWEVER, “The Extreme Icon” will return in the coming weeks, and you better believe that he’s going to be looking to regain the ECW World Heavyweight Title! Also involved in the three-way ladder match for the title were “The King of Old School” Steve Corino, and Justin Credible. And while neither man were able to win the match, Guilty as Charged DID mark the start of another path for both of them. At the end of the show, they seemed to form…a alliance, both men pledging to make a impact. We were able to get a camera in the New Impact Players locker room earlier this evening….”
It’s pre-taped segment time! The screen fades into….a pair of legs? The camera goes up a bit, and those legs belong to perennial ECW manager, Francine, the manager of Justin Credible, who is sitting down on some bench. Sitting next to her is Credible, and the two are seemingly in the middle of something, Credible’s arms around Francine’s back.
“Come on baby….you won’t regret it. I’m not just incredible in the ring you know…”
Credible tries to grab Francine’s legs, but much to his dismay, she slaps his hands away.
“Nuh-uh, you ain’t getting in here unless you get some gold. Win a title, then we’ll talk.”
Justin scowls, and the camera zooms out to reveal the entire room, and Steve Corino and Jack Victory are also in the locker room. “The King of Old School” is pacing back and forth, his fists clenched, while Jack is uh…playing with his thumbs.
“Damn it, what the hell are we doing here! Every second we waste just sitting around, is just another second that MY TITLE is around somebody else’s waist! We need to DO something!”
He’s obviously serious, but everybody else in the room don’t seem to care. After a few more paces around the room, Credible finally stands up and stops Corino.
“Listen man, just relax. We’ll do something eventually, you just need to calm do-“
“No, no, no! We need to do something Justin, aren’t we supposed to be the impact players? Ugh….Jack, you got any ideas?”
Jack Victory looks up from his thumb war with himself, and he scratches his head.
“Ugh, forget it. Now’s not the time for your stupid catchphrases.”
Corino is now pretty frustrated, but Justin just chuckles at his expense.
“Listen man, it’ll all work out. We’re the Impact Players, and we’re going to make an impact…we just have to find the right time.”
Corino does begin calming down, and Credible moves to the center of the room and stares right into the camera, talking straight to the viewers.
“Oh yeah, we’re going to be making a BIG impact soon, and all of you better watch out, ‘cause when we do, it’s not just gonna’ be the coolest, it’s not just gonna’ be the best….it’s going to be JUST INCREDIBLE!
The camera begins to fade into black, but before it can Jack Victory pops into the shot.
With that said, we go back to the ring, and “Roadhouse Blues” by The Doors hit, marking the arrival of two of the most athletic wrestlers in ECW today, Super Crazy and Kid Kash! The two men participated in the three-way dance to become the number-one contenders to ECW tag team titles, but fell short. However, a non-title victory here against the ECW Tag Team Champions could give them a case for contendership, so this match is important for the two former ECW TV Champions.
After Crazy and Kash enter the ring, “Super Bon Bon” by Soul Coughing hits the speakers, and the current ECW Tag Team champions, Danny Doring and Roadkill make their way towards the ring for this one-fall non-title match-up. Doring slaps the hands of some fans, before both men enter the ring. We have a brief face-off between the two teams…but then Doring offers a handshake! Kash and Crazy glance at each other, before accepting it, and the crowd cheer at the mutual respect. With that done, both teams retreat into their corner, and the bell rings, signaling the start of this match-up.
The New York crowd give them a good reaction, as Danny Doring and Roadkill grab their tag team titles and raise them to the air in triumph. Static hits once again, and we are now back to Joey Styles backstage.
Danny Doring and Roadkill vs. Super Crazy and Kid Kash
The match starts, and Danny Doring and Kid Kash will represent their respective teams. We start with a bit of chain wrestling, the two men engaging in a fast exchange of holds that ends when Doring takes Kash over with a snapmare. Kid Kash gets up, and “Dashing” Danny whips him off the ropes, he goes for a armdrag, but Kash blocks it….Kid Kash hits a armdrag of his own and Doring ends up on the canvas.
Both men get up on their feet, and they lock up once again, but this time, Doring pushes Kid Kash up against the corner, and then unleashes, hitting a wave of rights and lefts! Kid Kash doesn’t just take it though, no, he fights back, and the two end up brawling all over the ring. They exchange sharp chops, hard punches, and stiff forearms, neither man giving an inch. They both decide to run off the ropes…they meet in the center…Kash and Doring both go down, clothes lining each other at the same time!
Kash and Doring scramble up to their feet and immediately go to their corners, tagging in their respective partners, Super Crazy and Roadkill. Roadkill, being the bigger man charges right towards the “Extreme Luchadore”, but Crazy is to fast, baseball sliding between his legs. Roadkill turns around, and Super Crazy springboards off the ropes…he hits a Springboard Clothesline, and one-half of the tag team champions go down! Crazy pops up to his feet, pumping his fists as Roadkill gets up. When he does, Super Crazy tries to whip him into the ropes, but Roadkill uses his strength to reverse the irish-whip. Crazy ends up being thrown into the ropes and when he rebounds back, “The Amish Destroyer” lowers his head, looking for a back body drop….but Super Crazy sees it coming and manages to reverse it into a sunset flip…one…Roadkill kicks out!
Super Crazy pops up to his feet and then bounces off the ropes to hit a running legdrop. Crazy helps Roadkill up, and then bounces off the ropes once more…he goes for a crossbody, but Roadkill catches him! He plants Crazy into the canvas with a hard SIDE SLAM! Goes for the cover…ONE…TWO…Crazy gets his shoulder up!
“Amish” Roadkill stands “The Extreme Luchadore” up and then drags him to his corner, before tagging “Dastardly” Danny Doring back into the match. The tag team champs show some good teamwork, double-teaming Crazy in their corner,. Both men back up a few steps, and Crazy is hit by a big corner splash by Roadkill, followed up by a shining wizard from Danny Doring! Doring covers….one…two…Crazy kicks out again! Danny slaps the mat in frustration before tagging Roadkill back in. Doring locks Super Crazy into a front headlock, and Roadkill slams his boot right into Crazy’s midsection.
With Super Crazy on wobbly legs, Roadkill decides to go for a back-body drop once more, whipping him into the ring ropes. This time, Roadkill manages to send Crazy into the air…but the luchadore lands on his feet! The crowds cheer the athletic move, and when Roadkill turns around, Crazy goes wild with furious rights and left, forcing the bigger man to the ropes. Super Crazy runs off the opposite side….he goes for a crossbody….it hits and both men go over the top rope to the outside!
After a few seconds, Super Crazy gets up to his feet first, and he climbs onto the ring apron. “The Extreme Luchadore” waits for Roadkill to stand up….he does…Crazy jumps off the apron…he wraps his legs around Roadkill’s neck….HURRACANRANA THROUGH ONE OF THE RINGSIDE TABLES!
AY DIOS MIO!
The crowd is going wild as Super Crazy gets up to his feet and raises his fist into the air. Crazy yells some Spanish stuff that I can’t be bothered to translate, but before he can do anything else, Danny Doring knocks his brains out with a chairshot to the back of the head! Super Crazy goes down! Danny has a grin on his face, but that grin is soon wiped off, because when he turns around, he gets met with a sharp dropkick from Kid Kash! Kash takes Doring by the head and then brings him against the barricade, before laying into him with punches. After several seconds, Super Crazy, albeit still groggy, joins him and the two take turns chopping Danny Doring in the chest.
With Doring down, both men grab Roadkill and roll him back in the ring. Kid Kash returns to his corner as Crazy goes for the cover…ONE…TWO….THRE- Roadkill shows his strength, kicking out! Super Crazy doesn’t miss a beat, despite the kickout, and then drags Roadkill to his corner. He tags in Kash, and he drops a hard knee on Roadkill’s back, trying to do a bit of damage. He yells something to Super Crazy, who nods and then goes to the ring apron. Kash gets Roadkill into a side-headlock, and its clear that the two are going to do some sort of double-team move. Kash nods, and then Crazy leaps onto the rope, looking to slingshot himself off of them…but instead, he falls of the ropes and crashes to the outside, thanks to Danny Doring, who flung a ringside chair at his head! Kash is distracted, and Roadkill reverses the side-headlock, taking the cruiserweight over with a back suplex! Roadkill puts Kash’s head between his legs, lifts him into the air….AMISH BOMB! It could be over right here, but Roadkill doesn’t end it just yet, gesturing for Danny Doring to get into the ring. Roadkill lifts Kash up into a wheelbarrow hold, as Doring climbs to the top rope…..”Dastardly” Danny Doring leaps off…and BOOM, they take Kash out with a massive Buggy Bang! Roadkill covers….ONE….TWO…THREE!
Winner: Danny Doring and Roadkill > Pinfall > Buggy Bang
"Super Crazy and Kid Kash put up a valiant effort, but in the end, the tag team champions Danny Doring and Roadkill were able to show why they are one of the best tag teams not just here…but in the entire world. And they will get another chance to show that once again, in our annual fan convention and supercard, Cyberslam! On February 4, ECW fans all over the WORLD will get a chance to see extreme action live via internet stream! But that’s not all that we have planned, because only a month after Cyberslam, on March 11, ECW will return to pay-per-view with Living Dangerously 2001! That’s right, two months, two massive events, two times the extreme action!"
We return to the Hammerstein Ballroom and Nova is already in the ring, and BOY he is PISSED! He has a mic in his hand, and you better believe he wants to be heard.
“I’m gonna’ cut to the chase this time, because I’m not in the talking mood. Chris Chetti, I thought that our business was over! I beat you, fair and square, and I thought I could move on with my career. Well I guess not. You want to make things personal Chetti? You want to mess with my matches, mess with my career? Then come out right now, you son of a bitch, and do it to my face!”
The New York crowd erupt, wanting to see the two rivals duke it out RIGHT NOW, and it looks like its going happen, as Chris Chetti comes out from the back, and a referee is with him! Nova drops the mic and it looks like its going to go down!
Chetti springs up to his feet and lifts his arms into the air, proud of his “achievement”. The Hot Commodity lift him on their shoulders, acting like he just won the superbowl. Chetti asks for the microphone and he gets it, but before he can even SPEAK, he gets cut off by…..
Nova vs. Chris Chetti
OK, apparently not. Nova is all ready for a fight, but Chris Chetti stops himself right outside of the ring. Nova signals for him to come into the ring, but Chetti doesn’t oblige, instead asking for a microphone from a nearby stagehand.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, you better put your fists down Nova, because I’m not here to start a fight. No, the only reason I’m even HERE in this shithole, is because I want to tell you why. I want you to know why I tried to cost you your match”
Nova doesn’t relax, but he drops his fists, obviously wanting to hear this.
“A few months ago Nova, I was a RISING STAR here in ECW. My childhood dream of becoming a respected pro wrestler was becoming reality. And then you came along. We were partners, both young guys, trying to make a impact in this company. But I was destined for greater things Nova and you didn’t get that. You just couldn’t live with the fact that I was moving on, because you knew that without me, you were NOTHING. You tried to hold me down, and at November to Remember 2000, in that loser leaves town match, you almost succeeded. When you pinned me that night, I thought I was DONE. But as you can see, thanks to the stupidity of the ECW management, I’m back. Yeah, I’ll never wrestle in that town again, in Villa Park, Illinois. But everywhere else that ECW goes, I’ll be there, and I’m going to make you suffer. I’m going to ruin YOUR career, like you tried to do to mine!”
SHUT THE FUCK UP
*CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*
SHUT THE FUCK UP
*CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*
“You heard ‘em Chris, looks like this New York crowd knows where it stands!”
Nova grins at the chant and then begins pacing around, beckoning for Chetti to go into the ring. But Chris Chetti shakes his head, and continues talking.
“I’m a man of my word Nova. I said I wouldn’t start a fight with you here, and I won’t.”
YOU’RE A PUSSY!
YOU’RE A PUSSY!
YOU’RE A PUSSY!
The crowd is obviously beginning to get to Chetti, but he just pretends to ignore them.
“No, I’m not gonna’ be the one to start a fight with you…..but THESE guys will!”
Nova isn’t sure who Chetti’s talking about…but suddenly, The Hot Commodity begin flooding the ring!
“Of all the spineless things to do….It was a trap all along!”
But Nova isn’t going to go down without a fight! Julio Dinero is the first one into the ring, but he gets put down courtesy of a big right hand from Nova! EZ Money is next in…and he gets the same treatment! Chris Hamrick goes for a clothesline, but Nova ducks….dropkick! The crowd roar in approval as Nova leaps on top of Hamrick and begins laying into him with rights and lefts… but the numbers game eventually catches up to him, as Dinero and Money grab him from behind….Double Suplex! All three members of The Hot Commodity begin putting the boots to Nova, and Chetti rolls into the ring and joins in! Chris Chetti picks Nova up and then lifts him onto his shoulders…AMITYVILLE HORROR! But Chetti isn’t done yet, as he calls for the referee who he brought with him to come into the ring. Chetti then covers Nova and yells for the referee to count it! The official, Mike Kehner, is a bit reluctant to do so, but lets just say that being surrounded by a group of ruthless wrestlers gives him plenty of incentives. He begins counting, ONE…TWO….THREE, giving Chris Chetti, the uh, “victory”.
Winner(?!?!): Chris Chetti > Pinfall > Amityville Horror
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
*CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
*CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*
Eventually, after the chant shows no signs of stopping, Chetti just starts talking anyways.
NOVA! Don’t think we’re even just yet! This is only the beginning…It’s going to get….MUCH WORSE! Hahahaha!
And with that, we go back to the Eagles Nest with Joey Styles, and by the look of anger on his face, one would think he was Nova’s mother.
Of all the spineless….gah! Chetti and Hot Commodity might’ve gotten the upper hand tonight, but knowing Nova, there will be hell to pay. And I can’t wait. But the show must continue, and up next…we have our main event of the evening! Paul London is a 21 year old blue chipper born and raised in Austin, Texas, who trained with the legendary Shawn Michaels, and tonight he has the chance of a lifetime. He will debut in our main event, against one of the most decorated wrestlers in Extreme Championship Wrestling, a former ECW tag team and television champion, “Mr. PPV” ROB…VAN…DAM!
The static hits and takes us to the ring, and Paul London has already made his entrance. The 21-year old has black hair and a thin frame, looking like a natural-born high flyer. But he’ll have to do a awful lot of flips tonight, because he’s facing RVD! The atmosphere in the Hammerstein Ballroom is ELECTRIC, the crowd’s love of Mr. PPV being very apparent. And after several seconds of waiting….
Can't you see I'm easily bothered by persistence,
one step from lashing out at you,
You want in to get under my skin and call yourself a friend,
I've got more friends like you
What do I do?
“Walk” by Pantera hits to a HUGE OVATION, as "The Whole Fuckin'Show" Rob Van Dam makes his way down the ring, his manager and friend Bill “Fonzie” Alfonso right behind him. Van Dam slaps hands with some of the fans, before rolling into the ring. Veteran ring announcer Stephen DeAngelis is in the center of the ring, with a microphone in hand.
Ladies and gentlemen, introducing first the man on my left, from Austin, Texas and weighing in at 205 pound….He has trained with the great Shawn Michaels in the Texas Wrestling Academy…he is…PAUL…LONDON!
Eh, London hardly gets any reaction at all, but nevertheless, he gets points for effort, climbing to the top turnbuckle and posing for the crowd.
And to my right, from Battle Creek, Michigan, he weighs in at 225 pounds….he is a former ECW Television Champion…ladies and gentleman he is Mr. PPV…
RVD leads the crowd in yelling his name along with DeAngelis with his patented thumb taunt. Van Dam raises his arms into the air, then SPIN KICK! RVD poses for the fans once more, and does another spin kick. He’s got the fans in the palm of his hands.
RVD, without a DOUBT, the most beloved man in this company! In the fans eyes, he could do no wrong!
The referee Jim Mollineaux checks both men for weapons and other foreign objects and when he finds none, he calls for the bell, starting the match!
Paul London vs. Rob Van Dam
The bell rings and both competitors begin circling one another. Van Dam is bouncing from toe to toe, ready to pounce, but right before they lock up, he pulls back! RVD, ever the showman, turns his back to London and then climbs onto the top turnbuckle, still playing to the crowd. But it turns out to be a mistake, because when he turns back towards his opponent, London catches him with a nice arm drag. It doesn’t do any damage, but Van Dam gets the message, his mind back on the match, The two men begin circling each other again, and they lock up! RVD wins that exchange, cinching in a side headlock, but London shoots him off the ropes…RVD reverses the irish-whip and then drops down to his back….London comes back from the ropes and Van Dam sends him flying with a monkey flip! The blue chipper lands on his back, but before he can recover his bearings, “The Whole Fuckin’ Show” stands him up and then unleashes a quick flurry of kicks that ends with a spectacular spinning head kick that finds it mark on Paul London’s face! Paul stumbles back from the impact and then lands on the corner turnbuckle. RVD charges towards London in the corner…he hits a hard shoulder thrust…followed by a second…Van Dam handsprings back…and caps the combo off with one last shoulder thrust for good measure! London slumps to the ground and Van Dam pulls him to the center of the ring and covers…
ONE…TWO…LONDON KICKS OUT! RVD gets up and retreats into a corner, thinking about his next move. He yells at Bill Alfonso on the outside, and “The Manager of Champions” gets the signal and tosses in a steel chair. RVD takes the chair and then places it under London’s body. But before he makes his next move, Van Dam can’t resist the temptation to showboat a bit more, using his familiar thumb points to make the crowd chant…
With that done, RVD runs off the ropes…he looks for the Rolling Thunder…..but London manages to roll over…Van Dam hits only steel! Paul London goes for the cover….two count only! London slaps the mat in anger and then brings RVD up to his feet, before hitting a nice dropkick to the chest and RVD is on wobbly legs...Paul London runs off the ropes, jumps up, and wraps his legs around Van Dam’s neck, before hitting a beautiful running head scissors! London goes for the cover again, but just gets another two count. Paul scratches his head, thinking of what to do next, before rolling to the outside. He looks under the ring, looking for something…and he takes out a table! London grabs a table from under the apron, and then slides it inside the ring. He rolls into the ring…and is caught by a thrust kick from Van Dam! London is dizzy…RVD runs off the opposite end of the ropes and goes for a clothesline, but London catches him and back body drops him to the outside! Van Dam lands on his feet, but London soon fixes that, knocking him to the floor with a baseball slide from inside the ring! Paul goes back out of the ring and unloads with some quick right hands, before grabbing him by the shoulders and throwing “Mr. PPV” over the fan barricade! But instead of pressing the attack, Paul London gets back into the ring, and he’s pointing up, signaling for some sort of move….he runs off the ropes………SUICIDE SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO VAN DAM! London slingshots himself off the ropes, over the fan barricade, RIGHT INTO RVD!
On commentary, Joey Styles basically creams himself, yelling his trademark “OH MY GOD”, while London struggles back to his feet. Despite this being his first match in ECW, with that one move alone, he’s won the fans over and he is RELISHING the glory. RVD isn’t sure what hit him, shaking his head and trying to pull him up. When he does, London throws him back over the fan barricade and then slides him into the ring. He hooks the leg….
RVD gets the shoulder up! London falls back, shaking his head in disbelief. London’s not sure what to do next, just laying in his spot for a few seconds…but then he sees the table that he brought into the ring earlier in the match. London quickly scrambles to his feet and sets the table up in the center of the ring, while Van Dam stands back up. London immediately puts him into a front headlock and then climbs to the top rope….and he’s going for a Tornado DDT here….London jumps off the top rope, Van Dam in his headlock. But “The Whole Fuckin’ Show” is ready for it, and he reverses the move while London is in MID-AIR, sending him flying into the air with a Northern Lights Suplex! And London crashes through the table that HE set up! The atmosphere in the Ballroom is electric as RVD doesn’t waste any time in climbing to the top rope….leaps off and goes for the FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH…IT HITS! Van Dam goes for the cover straight-away….
Winner: Rob Van Dam > Pinfall > Five Star Frog Splash
With the main event done, “Misirlou” begins to play in the background, meaning only one thing….THE RETURN OF THE PULP FICTION PROMOS!
(OOC: For those of you unfamiliar with Pulp fiction promos, they are basically a montage of promos put together in one package. So for example, Sandman could be cutting a promo about Mikey Whipreck or something, and then before he’s done speaking, the video cuts to Jerry Lynn doing push-ups, and then cuts again to James Mitchell speaking, and then goes back to Sandman who’s busting his head open with a beer bottle. So, yeah, just think a bunch of promos put together in one video package.)
We start the pulp fiction promo off with none other than the only dual champion in ECW today, “The Man-Beast” Rhino! He looks as intense as always, and his two title belts are resting on his shoulders.
ECW’s a big fuckin’ hill, and I’m its king! You see these belts? One time the champion, TWO TIMES THE CHAMPION, I AM THE KING OF THIS FUCKING COMPANY! I see a locker room full of badasses and tough guys, but none of them can hold a god damn CANDLE to me! These belts are fuckin’ MINE, and nobodies gonna’ take ‘em from me!
The camera zooms into his face, but then suddenly, a voice calls out from out of the shot!
The camera swivels to the sides, and the voice is coming from “The King of Old School” Steve Corino! “The Man Beast” turns towards him and drops the titles to the ground, ready to fight! Corino stands his ground, which means he’s either really brave or really stupid….or really smart, because with Rhino’s attention turned towards him, it gives JUSTIN CREDIBLE the chance to jump Rhino from behind! Credible takes Rhino down and the two begin brawling on the floor! Corino joins the fray, stomping on Rhino, and it looks like they’ve figured out how to make a impact!
Next up we’ve got Christian York and Joey Matthews…
“Spanish Angel, Devito…what you did at Guilty as Charged might’ve been business for you, but to us it was personal.”
“That’s right, you guys made the wrong move attacking us. Baldies, we’re going after you with everything we’ve got. You two are bigger, and stronger, but that won’t mean anything when we face off. Joey and I, we’ve got the speed and the skill…to take you both DOWN.”
Well that was awkward…but now we’re inside the Hammerstein Ballroom with CW Anderson! The venue is empty except for Anderson who is standing in the center of the ring.
“Tommy Dreamer at Guilty as Charged, you and I tore each other APART! And you know what after that match, you earned my respect. But that doesn’t mean I accept defeat. You may have won the battle, but you haven’t won the war. I WANT A REMATCH!
The Unholy Alliance is up next, wait, no, just The Sinister Minister. For some reason, Mikey Whipreck and Tajiri aren’t there with him.
“Welcome children, in this sermon, I’d like to shed light on two specific people. The ECW Tag Team Champions, Danny Doring and Roadkill. Let’s start with Roadkill, or should I say…”Amish” Roadkill. First of all, what kind of man would nickname himself Roadkill anyways? How DARE he disrespect all those poor, poor animals that lost their lives on the road. Second of all, what exactly is this….Amish culture anyways? Well, I did some research, and guess what I found out? Amish is just a five letter way to say SINNER!
Now its time for HYPE CENTRAL WITH LANCE WRIGHT! This time, Wright is shilling a Sandman shirt! On the front of the shirt is a picture of Sandman, and on the back are the words “Rated-F*ck You”. Classy.
“Get this limited edition t-shirt for the price of- OH SHIT!
He gets cut off mid-shill, as Steve Corino suddenly flies into the shot! Wright is surprised, and before he can say anything, he gets shoved away by RHINO! “The Man Beast” goes straight for Corino, straddling him and laying into him with furious punches, until he gets pulled of by Justin Credible who comes to his partners aid! Credible punches Rhino a couple of times but gets FLOORED by a huge haymaker from Rhino! The brawl between The Impact Players and Rhino is still going on, but now it looks like Rhino’s got the upper hand!
Now we’re with Simon Diamond, who looks pretty angry!
“SIMON’S GOT A PROBLEM! Brutes and maniacs like Sandman and Rhino are running around getting all the glory, all the title shots, and guess where that leaves me! A man of my stature, of my talent and athleticism, can’t even get a match on the main show! But I’m not gonna’ take it, no, I’ve got a PLAN!”
He pauses for a second and then grins.
“And I’m not alone either.”
Diamond nods his head, and Johnny Swinger enters the shot, a sinister smile on his face.
“All of you better get ready.”
We’re back to The Sinister Minister and we catch him mid-rant.
And then we have “Dastardly” Danny Doring! A man so…vile, that his nickname is “Dastardly”! Dastardly is a NEGATIVE WORD! IT’S A SYNONYM OF EVIL! How can you trust somebody with a name like that?! And he thinks he’s such a playboy, well, we’ll see how much of a playboy he is when he gets HIV from one of his tramps! Filthy, filthy, most of his “girls” are probably prostitutes anyways, a sign of his pathetic-“
Mikey Whipreck and Tajiri suddenly appear, and the Minister looks a bit annoyed.
“Where’ve you two been? I had to start this promo all by myself!”
“Aw, come on, you sent us on an errand remember?”
“Errand? What errand?”
“Err, you know…”
“No, I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking ab-“
Sinister Minister loses what he was saying…as a gorgeous blonde enters the shot. And not only is she gorgeous…she’s got a wad of bills in her right hand?!
“Hehe, hey honey. These boys already paid me, so we can start whenever…you like.”
Sinister Minister’s eyes widen, as he realizes what Mikey was talking about and for a second, he’s not sure what to say. Finally, after a awkward silence, he recomposes himself.
“OH, yes! I forgot I had a, uh, business meeting today. Why don’t you wait over there my dear, I’ll be there in a second.”
The Sinister Minister directs her to a room out of the shot, and then turns back to the camera, looking a bit flustered.
“Ehm…anyways, that’s the end of the sermon. Today’s lesson is that sinners never win, and my boys Tajiri and Mikey will prove that in Cyberslam, when they DEFEAT the heathen champions, and take the ECW Tag Team Title belts for themselves!”
He suddenly bursts into maniacal laughter, and is soon joined by Mikey and Tajiri as the camera fades out to the next promo…
Next up is Cyrus the Virus, and the room he’s in is completely dark, nothing being seen accept him.
I came to this company to save ECW. To save it from self-destruction. To save it from all the troglodytes who pollute this company. And what does ECW do to me? IT GETS ME FIRED FROM MY JOB AT THE NETWORK! MY CAREER IS OVER BECAUSE OF THIS COMPANY! I tried to bring order here, but now, I only have one goal. ECW…MUST…DIE!
His client Jerry Lynn suddenly emerges from the shadows and moves in front of him.
Rob Van Dam…I want one more match. Living Dangerously 2001, live on pay-per-view…I will beat you. I can do it. I’m better than you…
Lynn grabs the camera and puts it right up to his face!
“I’M BETTER THAN YOU DAMNIT!”
We now go back to the big brawl happening backstage and find Justin Credible slumped on the floor, his face GUSHING blood! Rhino and Corino are exchanging rights and lefts, but Corino is gassed and out of energy. Rhino knees him in the gut and then places his head between his legs! He’s going for his vicious Spike Piledriver! But Corino is saved…by BALLS MAHONEY?! “The Hardcore Chair Swingin’ Freak” lunges at Rhino with a steel chair, slamming it into “The Man Beast’s” back. Rhino goes down, and that gives Corino the opportunity to grab Credible and get the hell out of dodge. Meanwhile, Mahoney picks Rhino up and then tries to throw him into the wall…but Rhino HEADBUTTS him! Balls is unsteady…RHINO GORES HIM INTO THE CONCRETE WALL! With that taken care of, “The Man Beast” looks around for The Impact Players, but they are LONG gone!