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post #2599 of (permalink) Old 05-06-2009, 04:09 PM
The Absolute
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Re: Being The Booker

For all the hype it got, you better make me orgy, pal…

Starting off the night with the WWE Champion squashing one of his two contender’s… pfft. Fail. Seems like you didn’t put a lot of effort into this one. Then again, Edge’s excuse was believable. You just wrote this out so you didn’t have to do as much work, right? You suck much.

Putting over AMW and releasing Cryme Tyme. Not bad. Excellent call here and Cryme Tyme is going nowhere in tag team or singles competition. This match still would’ve been a bit longer than four minutes, don’t you think?

Ha! Kid Kash kissing ass! That’s a hot one. Now I know why he’s the paperweight champion. That is what it’s called, right? The paperweight championship? Yeah, Kash is gonna lose.

Kash wins? That’s no way to sell Kendrick and Crazy! I would’ve loved to have seen that match, bub. Nobody wants to see Kendrick and Kash because Crazy sells. *Sigh* I am NOT looking forward to reading that…

Epic match-up midway, my friend. I’ll give you that much. I loved the mind games from Angle at the end, followed by his subsequent appearance. Not even Kurt Angle, in all his ruthless aggression, would’ve spared Undertaker. Angle’s just not that kind of guy, tbh.

Funny time killer for the MITB losers. Yes, I said losers. None of these men are really worthy of winning MITB. Like how London steals Carlito’s bit at the end… ONLY BECAUSE LONDON HAS NO BIT OF HIS OWN!! Ha! Seriously, though. Get London a gimmick, and then I’ll believe this character is worthy of winning some gold.

Pulling out good ole sexy Vis to arm wrestle the Aminal (I spelled Animal wrong on purpose). Awesome tension building in the contest, and a Batista win was seen. However, Batista should’ve known better. Never turn your back to a heel in the ring. I guess this will lead into some sort of Handicap match or the Vis man facing the Aminal next week. “…his penis when erect-, no, umm, his brain” ROFLMAO You’re a fucking ham, you know that?

I liked how you led into the “hot tag” near the end of this one. Excellent thinking on the part of London to save the match. Seems like a C-caliber main event, wouldn’t you say?

You’re still a lazy bum for not writing RVD/Edge, so this Lumberjack match is a chance to redeem you of yourself. In the words of Darth Vader: “Do NOT fail me again”.

Almost seems like McMahon didn’t get a word in edgewise until Stone Cold came out. All Vince did was do a short sell for Lesnar/HHH and BAM!! Moving on, I like Austin’s reference to Vegas. I was hoping to see more of those like the funny vignettes you did all throughout Wrestlemania 22. I love how Ausitn rips that stupid wig off Vince’s head. Great fan reaction there. What I don’t like is how Austin starts whipping out the beers midway through the segment. His Royal Ass-Kicker would never do that. Special enforcer, eh? That’s an okay add, I suppose. Better than nothing, right? Special referee would’ve been cool too, but as long as you make up for it with Stone Cold hitting some stunners on the McMahon boys at ‘Mania, and I’ll live.

All in all, I expected a much better show, but you really didn’t put out like I thought you would. It’s a shame that the match of the night (Jericho/’Taker) wasn’t even the main event. And you didn’t really promote the WWE title match all that well to begin with. Just a one minute match and BAM!! Off to commercials. Now, since you have disappointed me, every show leading up to Wrestlemania better be greater than the last. With only sixteen days left until the big one, you better set this thread on fire... or else.

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