Thanks for the review, jobber. Dished out a couple of reviews yesterday. Hopefully, I'll get to a couple more before Friday (KOM, jacky17, and one more I think). Anyway, no preview. Was ridiculously bored so I'm posting Raw now. Enjoy.
Monday Night RAW
April 2nd, 2007
Before the show starts we get a video recap of the tremendous WrestleMania which took place last night. Mickie retains over Victoria with help from the returning Beth Phoenix, Show and Umaga win the Monsters Collide Match before Mick Foley returns and crushes them, Angle defeats Austin, IC Champion Carlito defeats JBL, and Randy Orton retains the WWE Title against Edge and Shawn Michaels.
The opening video plays before we head into the arena to witness the fantastic pyro display. The camera pans around the arena to all the fans, going crazy, holding up their signs, before we cut to out commentators.
Hello everyone and welcome to Monday Night RAW! I’m good ole J.R., Jim Ross, here with Jerry “The King” Lawler and we are here in Detroit, Michigan, just 24 hours removed from the greatest WrestleMania of all time, WrestleMania 23!!
And J.R., what a WrestleMania it was, several explosive encounters from both Raw and SmackDown! The Wrestling Machine Kurt Angle managed to defeat Stone Cold Steve Austin and there have been rumors that Stone Cold will have a major announcement to make next week … possibly regarding his retirement?; somehow, Carlito managed to retain the Intercontinental Title against JBL, and Mickie James will start the SECOND year of her Women’s Title reign, after beating Victoria with the help of the returning Beth Phoenix.
An absolutely huge night was WrestleMania 23 but it all pails in comparison to what turned out to be a magnificent Raw main event between the WWE Champion Randy Orton, Shawn Michaels, and The Rated R Superstar. But when it was all said and done, it was The Legend Killer who left the grandest stage of them all with the WWE Championship. Sadly, neither Shawn Michaels nor Edge will be here tonight, given the night off to recuperate.
Oh but what about the show we got for tonight, J.R.? Not only will you be conducting an interview with The Wrestling Machine Kurt Angle, but WWE Champion Randy Orton will address this sold-out crowd tonight.
Big news. All that and more for Monday Night Raw here tonight, but coming up in the here and now, the World Tag Team Championship will be on the line, America’s Most Wanted defend against MNM!
America’s Most Wanted w/Gail Kim vs. MNM w/Melina
World Tag Team Championship Match
Solid, very closely contested match up with both teams taking the opportunity to impress at the start of the new “WWE season”. The finish comes on some miscommunication between Nitro and Mercury. Melina hops onto the apron in an attempt to distract AMW, but Mercury bumps into Nitro, causing Nitro to knock Melina off of the apron. Harris then throws Mercury from the ring and AMW hit the Death Sentence on Nitro for the pin fall victory.
Winners: America’s Most Wanted at 9:12.
AMW successfully retain the titles and the two raise their arms in the middle of the ring, after yet another successful defense, back on a roll after last night’s loss. The two are handed their tag team titles when…
America’s Most Wanted turn around and stare at the top of the stage as the Raw General Manager Jonathan Coachman steps out, wearing a nice beige suit, mic in hand.
AMW, let me be the first to congratulate the two of you on successfully defending your World Tag Team Titles here tonight.
The two continue to look skeptically as the crowd cheers.
And since I know the two of you love to compete, love to accept ANY challenge, let me inform the two of you that you will be defending your World Tag Team Championships once more, on Sunday April 29th, live on Pay-Per-View, at WWE Backlash. Your opponents … and believe me, this has NOTHING to do with the fact that the two of you disappointed me at WrestleMania last night.
Harris and Storm shake their heads, rolling their eyes.
Your opponents?? Two people who were SUCCESSFUL at WrestleMania 23 last night …
Coach smiles and waits while AMW look rather confused…
***WELLLLLL … WELL IT’S THE BIG SHOW***
The eyes’ of America’s Most Wanted light up as The Big Show, Umaga, Paul Heyman and Armando Alejandro Estrada step out onto the stage, and begin to walk down the entrance ramp.
Show and Umaga step into the ring and AMW try their damnedest to get the jump on them, swinging away with everything they’ve got. But they just competed in a rather competitive match up and are no match for the monsters, who shove them away easily.
Storm charges but Umaga hits him with a nasty sidekick to the side of the head taking him down. Harris charges at Show, but the big man quickly grabs him, and then delivers a head butt, knocking him down!!
Umaga reaches down and lifts Storm up, before shooting The Cowboy into the ropes and hit’s a strong Samoan Drop once he comes back!! Umaga then lifts him up off of the canvas AND HITS THE SAMOAN SPIKE!!! Big Show waits as Harris gets back up to his feet, and once he does, The Wildcat is lifted high into the air before he’s PLANTED WITH THE CHOKESLAM!!!
Show then reaches down and grabs the World Tag Team Titles, handing one to Umaga before raising his in the air. Umaga savagely stares at his as the two stand over the fallen tag team champions.
Backstage, Todd Grisham stands by.
Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time, after successfully defending his title last night at WrestleMania, he is STILL the WWE Intercontinental Champion, CARLITO!!!
Carlito comes into screenshot, receiving a nice ovation, apple in hand, with the IC title on his shoulder.
Hello, Carlito, you’ve got to be feeling pretty good about yourself with the roll you’ve been on as of late.
Carlito feels awesome. And you’re right, Todd, Carlito has been on a hell of a roll - won the Intercontinental Championship in January, beat Rob Van Dam at Saturday Night’s Main Event, and just last night … Carlito beat JBL to retain this title, Carlito’s first ever win at WrestleMania.
But believe me when I say this, there’s only bigger and better things from here. Number one, JBL isn’t here tonight, and das cool. (Carlito smiles)
And next week on Monday Night Raw, Carlito will be hosting Carlito’s Cabana. And Carlito’s guest … in celebration of her one year anniversary as WWE Women’s Champion … Mickie James.
She may be a crazy psycho … but she’s a hot
crazy psycho … and dat … das cool.
Carlito tosses his apple into the air, catches it and then takes a bite out of it before looking to head off.
Lito turns around.
Do you think that JBL will look to retaliate next week for you not only beating him but spitting in his face at WrestleMania??
Carlito spits out his apple in shock.
Retaliation? Carlito doesn’t care if JBL wants to retaliate, Carlito doesn’t care if Bradshaw throws a hissy fit, or complains to his mommy, or whatever he wants to do. Carlito is always gonna be right here and if he wants some of Carlito, he knows where to find me.
Carlito then walks off as Grisham looks on.
Back to ringside.
Sabu vs. Chris Masters
Masters and Sabu put on a passable match, with The Masterpiece staying in control for the majority of the match up, more intense than usual, looking for revenge for being put through a table last week. Sabu’s imperfect health due to the MITB Ladder Match. is played up by our announcers throughout.
At the four minute mark, however, Sabu makes his comeback, rocking Masters with hard right hands, before shooting him into the corner. Sabu then charges, and hit’s the AIR SABU, knocking the breath out of Masters. He shoots The Masterpiece into the opposite corner, looking for another AIR SABU - but Masters catches him, and brings him toward the middle of the ring, looking for a slam, but Sabu counters into a sunset flip … but only gets two. Masters rolls through, holds on and lifts Sabu up, before PLANTING him with a nasty POWER BOMB!!
Masters then lifts him back up to his feet, and applies the MASTERLOCK!! Sabu fights, but due to the pain he endured in the MITB, he passes out and the referee calls for the ring bell!
Winner: Chris Masters via submission at 7:55.
A video plays hyping the next edition of Friday Night SmackDown where a new number one contender will be determined in a “Dream” Fatal Four Way Match - Cruiserweight Champion Rey Mysterio vs. United States Champion Bobby Lashley vs. The Undertaker vs. The Rock.
Rob Van Dam w/Bill Alfonso vs. Ken Doane
Despite still nursing injuries from the tremendous bumps they took in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match, Doane and Van Dam tear it up, putting on a phenomenal TV match up. After seven minutes, we cut to a quick commercial break. We return from the break with Doane in control and he remains in control until Van Dam makes his comeback at the thirteen minute mark.
Van Dam takes Doane with his assortment of kicks, before hitting the Rolling Thunder for a two count. Van Dam lifts Kenny back up to his feet and then tosses Doane into the corner, charging in. Doane leaps up and over him, waits for him to turn around and then hits an STO!! Doane smirks, before taking a second to recover, and then gets back up to his feet.
Doane then climbs to the top turnbuckle and looks for his Guillotine Leg Drop, but Van Dam moves out of the way, gets back up to his feet and rolls up Doane into an Oklahoma Roll for a three count.
Winner: Rob Van Dam at 15:31 via pinfall.
The crowd cheers, as RVD gets back up to his feet, raising his arms up into the air. Van Dam looks down at Doane and nods his head, somewhat impressed with the twenty year old phenom. Kenny shakes his head in disappointment before leaving the ring as Van Dam continues to pose in the ring for the fans.
A vignette which played at WrestleMania plays…
A black man, dressed in a white suit, shades, and a chain with cornrows in his hair, sits on a chair, with a “Raw” backdrop.
Montel Vontavious Porter:
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce myself. I am half man, half amazing. My name is Montel Vontavious Porter. (Holds up his chain)
This is my chain, (points to Raw backdrop)
that is my show and these …
Three gorgeous woman walk into screenshot and put a hand on Porter.
Montel Vontavious Porter:
These are my lovely ladies, Kelly, Layla and Brooke, or as I like to call them, P3 - Porter’s Posh Playgirls. So ladies and gentlemen, I suggest that you get ready. My name is MVP - Montel Vontavious Porter. I’m coming to Raw, and most importantly, I … am better … than you.
“MVP - IN TWO WEEKS ON MONDAY NIGHT RAW”
Good Ol’ J.R., Jim Ross, waits in the ring, cowboy hat and all, microphone in hand.
Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time … was victorious last night at WrestleMania 23 forcing … The Texas Rattlesnake Stone Cold Steve Austin to pass out to his Ankle Lock submission hold-
Heat begins to pour in.
The only Olympic Gold Medalist in WWE history … “The Wrestling Machine” Kurt Angle.
The crowd boos wildly as Kurt Angle steps out onto the stage, dressed to compete with one of his custom T-shirts on top. Angle raises his arms into the air, and pyro explodes wildly before Angle continues on down to the ring. Kurt steps in and stand next to Ross.
Kurt, first off, congratulations on beating Stone Cold Steve Austin at WrestleMania -
I would like to get some thoughts on what this win on that big of a stage, against that big of a competitor, means to you.
Ross holds the mic up to Angle.
It means that I now stand alone at the top of the mountain, as not only the greatest WRESTLER and superstar that this business has seen, but the most important figure in the history of this sport.
More boos from this sold-out crowd.
NOBODY has ever made Stone Cold Steve Austin tap out, but I managed to do it several years ago, and then last night at WrestleMania 23, I managed to make that son of a bitch submit. No matter what you people think
happened, in the record books, it says “Kurt Angle - Winner - By Submission”. Oh, it’s true, it’s damn true!!
More heat as Angle smirks a bit.
Well, Kurt, let me ask you - do you think your win is diminished by the fact that you COULDN’T make Stone Cold Steve Austin tap out last night?
Angle looks at Ross, looking quite a bit skeptically.
What do you mean, “couldn’t”, J.R.? I can make anybody tap out - ANYBODY!! Please, don’t make the mistake of thinking any other way. If I wanted Austin to tap, he would’ve.
Be that as it may, Stone Cold didn’t submit, and do you think that will affect on how your WrestleMania victory is viewed?
Angle wipes his mouth, flustered, before beginning to speak again.
You know what, if-
An “Austin” chant starts up, cutting off the Olympic Gold Medalist. Angle looks around the arena in anger.
Steve Austin isn’t here tonight, SO JUST SHUT UP!!!
Cheap heat for Angle as he riles this crowd up.
Stone Cold Steve Austin isn’t here tonight, because he couldn’t bear the embarrassment of being in the same arena with the man who beat him up and down that arena last night, before knocking him out cold, slapping on the Ankle Lock and winning in the middle of the ring! So, don’t expect to see that son of a bitch around here anytime soon.
Angle walks around the ring a bit, frustrated.
Kurt is right; Stone Cold is not here tonight. He’s currently at his home in Victoria, Texas, nursing the injuries he sustained in that match against Kurt Angle. Kurt, let me ask you -
Another “Austin” chants starts up and Angle puts his hands onto his hips as he stares around the arena.
Kurt, now that you managed to defeat Stone Cold at WrestleMania, what’s next on your agenda? What’s next on Kurt Angle’s list?
Angle smiles before shaking his head.
Kurt Angle: (Scoffs)
As you can see, J.R., I’m dressed to compete here tonight - ready for action. I figured, defeating Austin at WrestleMania would be enough … to warrant me a shot at the WWE Championship.
Kurt shakes his head again.
But alas, I show up to this hellhole here tonight, and not only am I not being given a WWE Title shot but I don’t even have a match, I’m stuck doing a damn interview with a hillbilly.
The crowd boos Angle as Ross attempts to seem unaffected by that comment.
What, did I offend you, J.R.? Was I out of line? Who gives a crap if you‘re offended! I’M offended! I’m offended that after what should have been my crowning achievement last night, I’m still treated as just another superstar in this company! My win is tossed aside and you know why?!
Angle stares at Ross.
ANSWER ME, DAMN IT!!
More boos as Angle gets right into J.R.’s face; Ross keeps his cool.
No … I don’t know why.
Of course not.
Angle smirks … before scowling.
People don’t respect Kurt Angle … because of guys like you. Guys like you, who would rather praise a loser like Austin, instead of talking about people who actually, y’know, WIN. Yeah, I watched the WrestleMania tape, J.R. You want to talk about how gutsy, and determined, and courageous Stone Cold is. HE LOST!! And it’s about time, you people started showing me the proper respect around here. Otherwise, people are gonna start to get hurt … bad.
Angle glares at Ross, who doesn’t look intimidated. Angle then moves close to him, and speaks in a calm tone.
So here’s what you’re gonna do. Right here and now, in front of all these fans, you’re gonna announce me as the winner of the match up, just like that bitch, Lillian Garcia, did it at WrestleMania. You got it? “And the winner of the match, by submission, over Stone Cold Steve Austin, Kurt Angle.” Go.
The crowd boos while Angle turns and faces the audience, waiting for J.R. to begin. Ross shakes his head before speaking.
Jim Ross: (Without much enthusiasm)
The winner of the match … Kurt Angle.
The audience boos as Ross looks to now leave, but Angle doesn’t seem impressed, reaching out and grabbing a hold of Ross. J.R. turns around and Angle calls him back into the middle of the ring.
Say it again, and this time, with some enthusiasm. Just like you do with Austin. (J.R. impression)
STONE COLD!! STONE COLD!! STONE COLD!! (Ends)
Say it like that, or we’ll have a problem, J.R.
What the hell is this gonna prove, Kurt?
It’ll let you walk out of here on your own power and not on a broken ankle, J.R. NOW SAY IT!!
Angle turns back to the crowd as Ross sighs.
And the winner of the match … KURT ANGLE!!
More boos as Angle nods his head and extends his hand to J.R. Ross accepts it and goes to leave …
But Angle CLOTHESLINES ROSS DOWN!! The crowd delivers an incredible amount of heat as Angle begins to stomp away on poor J.R. over … and over … and over again!!
The crowd begins to cheer as Jerry “The King” Lawler tosses off his headset and slides into the ring! He grabs Angle and hits him with a hard right hand, and another, knocking Angle backward. Lawler then goes to Irish whip him, but Angle counters, brings King back to him, before hitting THE ANGLE SLAM!!
Angle then goes back to Ross and LOCKS IN THE ANKLE LOCK!!! Ross screams out in pain as Angle looks to break his ankle with everything he has. J.R. taps like a mad man, but Angle doesn’t let go of the hold, causing several referees to run down to the ring and attempt to pull him off.
The Olympic Gold Medalist finally let’s go of the hold, while Ross holds his ankle in tremendous pain. Meanwhile, the crowd boos the Wrestling Machine wildly, disgusted by his actions here tonight.
Angle bends down and flips Ross off, before doing the same to the crowd, going so far as to climb the turnbuckle and raises up the double bird to even more heat. Fade out.
Backstage, inside of his office, Jonathan Coachman stands by with Armando Alejandro Estrada and Paul Heyman.
Paul, Armando, I would just like to thank you once again for coming through for Monday Night Raw last night at WrestleMania 23. And though we were helped by one of their own superstars, “The World’s Strongest Man” Mark Henry, I’m in your debt.
Mr. Coachman, let me assure you that The Big Show and Umaga appreciate the opportunity at the World Tag Team Championship at Backlash, but we have a couple of concerns of our own … and those concerns would relate to the Hardcore Legend known as Mick Foley.
Crowd pops for the mention of Foley.
And, Coach, if Mick Foley decided to get into our business again - and these are the words of The Big Show and not my own - Foley will be carried away on a stretcher.
Believe me, he won’t be a problem tonight, at Backlash and for a long while. I informed Foley that not only is he banned from Raw here tonight -
But he is banned from all events relating to Monday Night Raw, INDEFINITELY.
Tremendous heat as Heyman and Coachman smirk.
Ha-ha, that’s what I’m talking about!! That fat, washed up dummy needs to learn the meaning of respect. Speaking of respect, I think it’s time that the Samoan Bulldozer UUUUUUUUUMAGA and The Big Show got an opportunity to teach those AMW freaks a little respect as well, before Backlash.
I couldn’t agree more, which is why next week right here on Monday Night Raw, Chris Harris will go one on one with the five hundred pound, giant of mass destruction, The Big Show.
Estrada and Heyman shake the hand of Coach with a smile, before they head out of the office.
Back to ringside.
The King is joined by Todd Grisham for commentary. Lawler looks incredibly upset as he holds his neck and back, feeling the effects of the Angle Slam.
Charlie Haas vs. Matt Striker
A showcase match for Haas, who goes through his impressive array of suplexes on Striker. The former schoolteacher get in a couple of offensive maneuvers but it doesn’t take long before Haas hits him with a strong release German Suplex, dumping him on the back of his head, before he follows up with the Haas of Pain for the impressive submission victory.
Winner: Charlie Haas via submission at 4:09.
Backstage, Randy Orton, looks into a mirror, adjusting his nicely-tailored custom suit, with a smirk, before turning around, grabbing his WWE Championship and facing his RKO Army - Doane, Mercury and Nitro, with Melina on Nitro’s lap, all sitting on the black leather couch, while Masters stands against the wall.
Listen up, guys. I know things haven’t exactly gone according to plan tonight. Doane and Nitro … you guys lost your matches, but I’m not upset … I’ve come to expect that from you guys.
Doane shakes his head, but Nitro moves Melina off of him and stands up, aggravated.
Last time I checked that was a tag team
Yeah, a tag team match that YOU were pinned in. Face in, recently, YOU’VE turned into the weak link of the group. Right behind Kenny.
Nitro and Doane both glare at Orton with anger, but before they can say anything, Orton turns to Masters.
Orton shakes the hand of The Masterpiece.
Congrats on winning your match, man. That’s the kind of intensity I’ve been trying to get out of you. That killer instinct! You show that kind of passion each and every time you go out there, and there isn’t a single person in this building that can stop you.
Masters nods as Orton smirks.
Now, I have to address my public coming of the biggest night in the history of this industry. Y’see, it’s time for “The Legend Killer” Randy Orton, the WWE Champion, the cornerstone of World Wrestling Entertainment to go out there, and give … what would be comparable to a state of the industry address.
Orton glares at Doane, who smirks a bit.
Relax, kid. You’ll get your chance to start giving your own speeches … whenever you realize that coming close to winning and winning aren’t the same thing. Then, and only then, will I even think about listening to anything you have to say. (Orton gets in Doane’s face)
So until then, when I want your opinion … I’ll be the one who gives it to you.
Doane and Orton have an intense stare down, with Doane looking ready to explode. Randy then moves his head a bit to the right.
Melina, let’s go.
I think she’ll stay here.
Orton turns to Nitro.
I said, “I think she’ll stay.”
Orton and Nitro stare at one another intensely as Melina looks quite nervous.
What’s the matter, Randy? It’s your moment. Have a ball.
Doane smirks, and Orton nods a bit, grinning as well, knowing Doane just got one over. Randy then walks past Kenny and towards Melina - but with his eyes looking right at Nitro the whole way.
You sure you want to stay here, Melina?
Nitro and Orton stare at one another as Melina looks on nervously.
Yeah … um … I think I’m gonna stay here.
Orton looks at Melina and smiles.
Orton then glares at Nitro once more before turning around …
… right into the face of Doane. The Legend Killer and the 20 year old phenom have another intense stare down, same height, around the same weight, same look … before Doane … moves out of his way, smiling. Orton slaps his WWE Championship before storming out of the locker room.
The rest of the group look on, all effected by the tension, Nitro and Doane looking rather upset.
We get a replay of the J.R.-Angle interview from earlier tonight, which ended with Angle brutally assaulting Ross, locking in the Ankle Lock for several minutes.
Grisham and Lawler discuss the disgusting actions of Angle, before shooting it to Maria, standing by.
Maria: (Looking and talking nervously)
My … guest at this time … K-Kurt Angle.
The crowd erupts into heat as Kurt Angle steps into screenshot, leering at Melina without emotion.
Kurt … uh … w - w - why - did you … uh …
Relax, Maria. I’m not gonna beat you down … not tonight anyway. Why did I attack J.R.? That’s what you were gonna ask, right, Maria?
Maria nods slowly.
Maria looks ready to faint from fear as Angle smirks.
Because he was pissing me off. Because he sits there at the announce desk, alongside that idiot with the crown, and the two of them talk about how great Stone Cold Steve Austin is. How gutsy Austin is. How determined he is. His refusal to quit, his refusal to give in.
Well, guess what? I don’t care, but Austin, you better be as tough and as bad ass as everyone thinks you are, because I just came from the office of Jonathan Coachman. I’ve been fined 50,000 dollars for my “reprehensible” actions tonight.
Crowd pops as Angle rolls his eyes and scoffs.
A few weeks ago, when Coach needed Kurt Angle, everything was all well and good. But now that the picnic is over, my actions are too outrageous, too wild. What a joke. Oh, but there is some good news. I also found out that Coach is willing to take me up on a suggestion of mine and I will be competing at Backlash on April 29th … against Stone Cold Steve Austin -
Crowd erupts into cheers.
… in an “I QUIT” MATCH!
Even louder cheers as Angle smiles.
That’s right, an “I Quit” Match, where the only way to possibly win the match where would be for your opponent - in my case, Stone Cold Steve Austin, to say “I Quit”. No tapping out, no passing out, no way out, period!! One way or another, Stone Cold will be saying the words “I Quit” on April 29th.
That is … if Austin accepts that proposed match. The rumors have been flying all week that Stone Cold might’ve been retiring next week here on Monday Night Raw. (Scoffs)
After what we just saw with Ross, I doubt Austin wants to leave with any unfinished business. So, Steve, I’ll be looking forward to hearing your answer next week if you decide to show up here on Raw. And don’t accept the match for me, or for all these fans, or even for yourself … do it … for J.R.
Angle laughs a bit before becoming deadly serious within an instant, glaring at the camera, as Maria shivers in fear.
Backstage, Charlie Haas packs his bag in the dressing room, with a couple of other wrestlers standing around. Haas is seemingly preparing to leave the arena when he looks up, and immediately gets up to his feet, putting his hands up into fists. The camera pans over to show … Armando Alejandro Estrada, The Big Show, Umaga and Paul Heyman.
What do you want?
Amigo, relax. (Turns to group)
I’ll be fine.
Heyman nods slowly before leading the group from the locker room. Haas relaxes a bit as Estrada grabs another chair and brings it next to Haas’s and sits down.
Pero, relax, relax, (points to chair)
Haas slowly sits in the chair and stares at Estrada.
Ju know, I saw jour match out there tonight. Very impressive, jou’re one of the best talents in this place. But let’s face it … jou’ve been here for four years, and jou’re no better off than when ju showed up.
What’s your point?
My point is, the reason you’re in the same spot is … ju lack - como se dice - charisma. Ju lack the drive, the motivation, but more importantly, ju lack the pizzazz to get to the top of this business, and me amigo, that’s where I come in.
Haas doesn’t look too impressed as Estrada takes off his shades.
I want to help ju, just like I helped Umaga and The Big Show - the future World Tag Team Champions, a couple of WrestleMania winners. When was the last time ju were even AT a WrestleMania?
Relax. What I’m trying to say is, if jou’re sick of toiling in meaningless matches, against meaningless wrestlers, I am always willing to help. (Getting up from his seat)
Ha-ha, don’t be a dummy.
Estrada extends his hand to Haas … but Haas doesn’t accept. AAE frowns a bit before putting his shades back on, smiling, and exiting the locker room. Haas goes back to packing his bag, though clearly thinking about what was said.
***BURN IN MY LIGHT***
Boos fill the arena, as the WWE Champion, “The Legend Killer” Randy Orton, steps out onto the stage, limping a bit, but a smile on his face. Dressed in a suit, with the title on his shoulder, Orton raises the title up as his pyro falls down from the ceiling.
Randy continues on down the ramp, before climbing the steps and entering, calling for a mic. He soon gets one …
Another day, another dollar, just another day in the life of Randy Orton. Walk into Ford Field, WWE Championship on the line, Three Way Dance against “The Rated R Superstar” Edge and “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels.
Cheers for Edge; Mixed reaction for HBK.
Edge and Shawn Michaels were coming after my title, and who would’ve thunk it, Randy Orton stands right here … right now … STILL - YOUR WWE Champion!!!
I’m not so arrogant as to where I’m gonna tell you it was a cakewalk. It was anything but.
Orton stretches out his back, as if feeling the pain.
I fought my ass off last night to keep this WWE Championship attached to this gorgeous body, and that’s exactly what I did, proving not only am I the best wrestler in the free world today, but that there isn’t a man - or two men, who can step up and take this title from me.
“Asshole” chant starts up.
Asshole? You don’t have to like it, but each and every one of you know that it’s the truth.
Last night, Edge and Michaels put everything they had on the line. I was hit with Spears, I was hit with Superkicks, driven through a table, hit with moves I’ve never even seen those two guys use before but yet, here I stand with the WWE Championship, while Michaels recovers somewhere in Texas, and Edge is somewhere in Canada crying about wanting revenge.
Edge, after last night, you need to come to the realization that you and I … we’re on completely different plains … when it comes to what happens in this ring. Y’see, you … you plateaued a few years ago; you leveled out. You’re a great wrestler. Make no mistake about it, you’re definitely good. The fact is, I’ve done nothing but get better and better since I’ve shown up here.
Orton rubs the title.
First, I became the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time. Then, I became the youngest World Heavyweight Champion in the history of this industry. Now, not only do I stand before you a multi-time World Champion, but I am the greatest WWE champion in the history of Monday Night Raw.
Boos as Orton puts on a cheeky smile.
And that my friends, is not just about being good … that’s … that’s destiny.
Orton once again raises the title up to boos, when…
The crowd explodes into cheers as Orton turns to face the entrance ramp in complete shock.
What the hell!? He’s not scheduled to be here tonight!!
… … There he is!!
Soon enough, EDGE steps out onto the stage to an even louder pop, with Lita by his side, dressed in a Rated R shirt and a pair of jeans. The Rated R Superstar doesn’t seem as upset as he has in recent weeks, instead taking the time to look around the arena before continuing on down to the ring, mic in hand. Orton seems flustered and a bit nervous as he didn’t expect Edge to be here tonight.
Edge steps in and lifts the mic up, ready to speak, but is cut off by a “Rated R” chant. Edge lets out a slight grin before talking.
Surprised to see me, Randy?
Orton shakes off the shock, angrily glaring at Edge.
… A bit.
I bet you’ll be even more shocked by what I have to say.
Orton squints his eyes skeptically as Edge rubs his mouth & beard and brushes his hair out of his face, taking a breath.
Congratulations on retaining the WWE Championship last night at WrestleMania 23.
Big time heat, as Orton puts on a cocky smirk, with Edge looking at the champion, nodding before speaking.
I have to hand it to you, you managed to beat me fair and square, clean in the middle of this ring last night. I didn’t think you had it in you.
Orton smiles widely.
And as you’ve noticed, I don’t have quite the - and pardon the expression - edge I usually have. That’s because for months on end, I walked around this place thinking there was this pompous, arrogant, no nothing jackass, who couldn’t carry my jockstrap walking around with my WWE Championship.
Crowd cheers as that seems to have offend Orton.
I didn’t take you seriously, Randy, and that’s the reason I was pretty pissed off, that’s why I couldn’t use the proper judgment, that’s why I wasn’t prepared for WrestleMania, and that’s why you managed to pin me in the middle of that ring on the grandest stage of them all.
Edge begins to smile now.
Oh, but I know you’re the real deal now, Randy. I know you’ve got it in you to stand in this ring with me, and believe me, there’s nothing more I’d rather do than be the one to slap that shit-eating grin off of your face.
Orton’s grin fades as the crowd erupts into cheers.
This is no longer about getting revenge. Getting revenge doesn’t pay the bills, getting revenge solves nothing, and it sure as hell doesn’t get me what I want. And what I want … is the WWE Championship!
Crowd pops while Edge points to the title as Orton looks at it.
BACKLASH … me and you, one on one
, for the WWE Title, whattaya say?
The crowd cheers as Orton looks around the arena.
Is that what you people want to see? You people want to see The Legend Killer versus The Rated R Superstar at Backlash on April 29th??
Huge pop as Orton nods.
Well … it’s not
Major heat as Edge’s jaw tightens.
I don’t care who wants it, I don’t care if the fans want it, I don’t care if you want it, Edge, because as far as I’m concerned, I’ve beaten you … Three Way Dance or not, I’ve beaten you in the middle of the ring which means I’m done with you. You go to the back of the line and some other poor bastard steps up to the front, only to be taken out by The Legend Killer. I’m … a One Man Dynasty. And dynasties don’t slow down for anybody.
Sounds to me like you’re bitching out, Orton.
Crowd cheers as Orton rubs his chin.
Randy Orton: (Scoffs)
The only bitch here is the slut you have for a girlfriend.
OH!!; Orton smirks but the crowd soon explodes into cheers as Orton is dropped as is the title with a right hand from Edge!! Lita rolls out of the ring as Edge lifts Orton back up and backs him into the corner, before he unloads with right hands to the face of the WWE Champion!
CHRIS MASTERS and JOEY MERCURY run down the entrance ramp to heat, before sliding in and jumping Edge, hammering away on his back with right hands, as the crowd boos. Orton demands that The Masterpiece lifts Edge back up to his feet … while KEN DOANE and JOHNNY NITRO also make their way down to the ring.
Masters holds Edge as Orton begins to tee off of on him, hitting Edge with sharp and pointed right hands to the face! Orton tells Mercury to get some shots in, and that’s exactly what he does, hitting his former group leader with hard right hands to the face as well! Orton tells Doane to get some shots in, and Kenny looks rather hesitant, glaring at Orton.
The Legend Killer gets up in Doane’s face, no longer asking, but demanding that he does what he’s told. Doane shakes his head … and then DOANE DROPS ORTON WITH A RIGHT!!!
The crowd cheers but the rest of the Army hasn’t a clue how to respond as Doane stares down at Orton, who holds his jaw. Masters drops Edge and grabs Doane, asking him what the hell is going on, and DOANE HITS MASTERS WITH A RIGHT as well!!
Kenny hammers away on Masters and soon enough, Mercury hits Doane in the back, as the RKO ARMY IMPLODES before our eyes!!
Mercury and Masters hammer away on Doane, but Nitro now gets involved, spinning Masters around and hits him with hard rights!! Orton rolls out of the ring, and eventually Masters and Mercury are cleared from it as well, by Nitro and Doane respectively as the crowd goes wild.
Edge gets back up to his feet and stares at Doane and Nitro rather suspiciously, not knowing what the hell is going on, while Orton and company look from the ramp in shock.
Lita slides into the ring and grabs the WWE Championship off of the ground, before she holds it out for Edge. The crowd cheers as The Rated R Superstar takes the title from his fiery redheaded girlfriend before he steps onto the middle rope, raising Orton’s WWE Championship above his head as Orton shakes his head in disgust.
END OF SHOW
Current Card for WWE Backlash:
Date: April 29th, 2007
Location: Phillips Arena; Atlanta, Georgia
Event Music: Daughtry; There and Back Again
World Tag Team Championship Match:
America’s Most Wanted w/Gail Kim vs. Big Show & Umaga w/Heyman & AAE