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Re: Being The Booker

Three Hour Raw; February 5th; Chicago:

Highlights package from SuperBrawl, focusing on the hellacious sixty minute Iron Man match in which John Cena upset The Game to reclaim the World Heavyweight Championship, and book a WrestleMania 23 main event, against the Royal Rumble winner, Christian.

Before the opening video plays, we get a short ‘invitation’ to join Stephanie McMahon and Triple H for their re-marriage tonight.

Opening Video

No Pyro … instead, we go straight to …


It’s an initial pop, followed by a chorus of boos, as Triple H steps into the arena … alone. The Game is dressed in his white shirt, top button unbuttoned, and wearing black trousers with black shoes in preparation for the wedding later tonight.

Jim Ross: Welcome to Monday Night Raw, a special three hour edition, which tonight will feature Miss Stephanie McMahon remarrying THAT MAN, the FORMER World Heavyweight Champion - that’s right folks, THE FORMER World Heavyweight Champion, The Game, Triple H!!!

The Coach: I’m still in shock J.R. I’m still trying to come to terms with the fact that John Cena is once again, our World Champion!!!

Jim Ross: You better get used to it Coach, The Game is OUT of the WrestleMania title picture, and John Cena is in!! We are now set, March 18, John Cena and Captain Charisma will collide in front of nearly 75,000 fans in the Superdome in Louisiana!!! It’s gonna happen, and we’ll be there to see it!!!

The Coach: Stop making me sick J.R!!! And don’t talk like it’s set in stone. My sources are telling me that Triple H has been feverishly working to set up a rematch for the title. He’s went as far as the board of directors. Triple H isn’t out of the WrestleMania main event just yet.

Jim Ross: Are you telling me that Triple H has been focusing on something other than the wedding of the year since Saturday night?? Surely not!!! [/SARCASM]

In the ring, Triple H waits for the music to die down, holding a mic, with a face like thunder.

Triple H: Tonight should be the happiest night of my life … but right now, it’s far from it.

Cheers and jeers from the fans, happy that The Game isn’t happy.

Triple H: On Saturday night at the Super Brawl … John Cena beat me for the World Heavyweight Championship.

Big pop for the title change.

Triple H: I don’t even have time to start explaining how that miracle happened, but I want to raise one point which I refuse to accept … there is no rematch clause.

More cheers from the fans.

Triple H: That’s the thanks I get for the months and months I held that title. I gave Cena chance after chance … too many chances … to challenge me for the World Title, yet the moment I lose, I get no such reprieve.

More cheers from the fans to anger The Game.

Triple H: I WILL NOT … accept that.

The camera closes in on The Game.

Triple H: And first thing on Sunday morning, I was immediately onto the board of directors. They know my argument, and they’ve taken my appeal on board … and right now, it‘s on the top of their agenda. I’ve been promised that this day next week, we’ll find out whether I’m entitled to a rematch or not.

Heat from the fans.

Triple H: I’ll accept whatever decision they make … as long as it results in me getting my rematch. Whether it be a one on one shot against Cena in two weeks time, or even if it means inserting me in the main event of WrestleMania, along with Cena and Christian. It doesn’t matter to me, but I MUST … get the rematch that I deserve.

More jeers and cat calls from the fans.

Triple H: And as far as I’m concerned … it’s a done deal. I cant see any reason whatsoever that the board can turn my appeal down. John Cena won the title from me on the third attempt. I allowed him the two rematches … the least I deserve is mine.

More heat. Triple H gets set to speak again, when …


Linda McMahon steps through the curtain!!! It’s the CEO of the WWE, and she looks furious!!! Triple H looks confident in the ring, possibly expecting Linda to deliver the verdict right now.

Jim Ross: Now this is unexpected. I was aware that Linda McMahon was here tonight to attend her daughters wedding, but has the board come to a decision already??

The Coach: It’s a no brainer J.R!!! Why would anyone think that the board would need a whole week to come to a decision on this one??

Jim Ross: We are about to find out what Linda has to say. This could be very interesting.

Linda steps in the ring, and glares as The Game, with her music dying down, as Triple H speaks, whilst smiling.

Triple H: I thought it’d be a quick decision, but Linda, even I’m surprised that the board has come to a decision as quickly as this.

The Game smiles, and offers the mic to Linda. This is about to get pretty boring.

Linda McMahon: I’m sorry to disappoint Triple H. The board has not come to a decision as yet.

Pop from the fans, as the smile begins to fade from The Game, with Robo McMahon exuding all kinds of (no)personality.

Linda McMahon: I’m not out here as the CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment … I’m out here Hunter, as your future Mother in Law.

Cheer for Linda (because she‘s so charismatic?), as Triple Hs face drops slightly.

Linda McMahon: And as your mother in law, I’m TELLING you to get out of the ring, and for one night at least, STOP thinking about yourself, and YOUR World Championship … and concentrate solely … on the happiest day of your life, marrying … sorry … RE-marrying MY daughter, Stephanie.

Heat for the mere mention of Stephanie.

Linda McMahon: Can you do that?? Are you capable of thinking about someone else, apart from yourself, for once??

Cheers from the fans, as The Game starts to nod a little, looking miffed, but not wanting to argue with the CEO, as she lays down the law.

Linda McMahon: I’m glad to hear it.

Linda McMahon then opens her arm out, instructing The Game to get out of the ring, with the fans jeering Triple H for cowering to his soon to be mother in law, hoping to stay on her good side, and help his chances of winning over the board.

She then stops him as he is set to exit the ring, grabbing his arm, putting the mic back to her mouth.

Linda McMahon: And if you screw this up Hunter, if you break my daughters heart again … I promise you that you’ll live to regret it.

Pop from the fans, as **RETRO WRESTLEMANIA** hits again, with Triple H getting out of the ring, and storms up the ramp, showing his anger after being humiliated by his mother in law, whilst Linda watches from the ring.


We return from the commercial, with Ken Doane in the ring, awaiting his opponent.


Brock Lesnar enters to an initial pop, which soon disintegrates into heat, for an irregular heel vs. heel (tweener?) match.

Jim Ross: And ladies and gentlemen, here comes a man in an extremely foul mood, and that does not bode well for Ken Doane. Brock Lesnar has no WrestleMania match in the horizon this year, after headlining last years event. It is a fall from grace, one he planned to rectify by winning the SuperBrawl this past Saturday, but unfortunately for him, The Iron Man fell short.

The Coach: And as you said, it doesn’t bode well for Doane. In fact, the future of the WWE is in trouble here J.R, because if Lesnar is able to take his anger out on Doane, he might never recover.

Jim Ross: That’ll be the least of Randy Ortons worries Coach. Doanes leader has the opportunity tonight to qualify for the Money in the Bank ladder match at WrestleMania, but to get there, Orton will have to beat his recent foe, the Heart Break Kid, Shawn Michaels!!! Orton and Michaels one on one tonight, with a huge WrestleMania opportunity on the line tonight … inside a 15 foot high STEEL CAGE!!!

The Coach: And we all know Shawn Michaels history, not only with Orton, but with ladders and WrestleMania, and tonight he and Orton not only finish off their epic rivalry here on Raw, but they’ll do it inside the cage!!!

Jim Ross: But that’s not all Coach, also scheduled tonight, for the third straight week, Straight Edge are set to challenge MNM for the World Tag Team Championships, injury, or sickness permitting of course. MNM over the last two weeks have suffered from food poisoning in England, then chickenpox last week, which was confirmed by a supposedly reputable doctor, and later revealed to be nothing more than red pen marks!!! Try and explain that one Coach??

The Coach: No comment.

Jim Ross: Well, as if that wasn’t enough, also in action tonight, just forty eight hours after the most gruelling sixty minutes of his career, John Cena WILL be in action, taking on The Problem Solver, a man who was also in action forty eight hours ago, in a losing effort, quitting against his former best friend, the man that John Cena will defend against at WrestleMania, Christian.

The Coach: And don’t forget J.R … the second inductee into this years Hall of Fame will also be announced … TONIGHT!!! And I’ve got a feeling it could be yours truly.

1st Match:
Brock Lesnar vs. Ken Doane
Squash match to kick off a bumper three hour edition of Raw doesn’t sound like a good way to kick things off, but for some reason, that’s what we get here anyway, more than likely to test the water of how Lesnar gets over with the fans taking on a heel. Lesnar man handles ‘The Future’ from the outset, and despite Doane at least trying to put up a fight, Lesnar rips through him, finishing Doane off with the F5, hooking the leg, 1...2...3!!!
Winner: Brock Lesnar @ 03:55

Lesnar has his arm raised, but pulls it straight back down, looking down on Doane, before leaving the ring.

Jim Ross: That is one pissed off S.O.B Coach. Do not approach the Brock.

The Coach: It’ll be hard for Lesnar to find a WrestleMania opponent when he’s ripping through opponents like this. Who the heck would want a piece of that animal in New Orleans??

Backstage, we see Melina, Nitro and Mercury, flanked by a mysterious fourth party, a male, wearing a white doctor style jacket, and glasses. Nitro is wrapped up in a heavy blanket, and looks to be shivering heavily. Surely not another excuse??

The four stop at a room, with the name on the door reading “ERIC BISCHOFFS OFFICE”. Melina knocks the door, and the four enter, with Melina leading the way. Bischoff looks less than pleased to see MNM.

Eric Bischoff: Ah, look what we have here. Our esteemed tag team champions. Now, what’s the excuse this week?? Let me see, you’ve had food poisoning … chickenpox … don’t tell me it’s leprosy??

Melina fakes a smile, then pulls Nitro in front of him.

Melina: Does it look like he’s faking??

Eric looks down on Melina with a very condescending smile, before replying.

Eric Bischoff: Does it look like I care??

The man in the white coat now comes forward to speak.

Unknown Man: (Strong Italian accent) Issa my opinion, that thissa man here, he should not wrestle toonighht.

Bischoff furrows his brow at the unknown man, before speaking to him.

Eric Bischoff: And you are?? No wait … let me guess … you’re the ‘reputable’ Doctor Marella, right??

The Doctor nods, and puffs out his chest, looking proud that Bischoff knows his name.

Doctor Marella: It is I.

Eric Bischoff: Really?? The same Doctor Marella that diagnosed this man, Joey Mercury, last week, with chickenpox.

Doctor Marella: The very sssssame.

Eric Bischoff: Chickenpox, that turned out to be nothing more than red ink.

Marella wags his finger, defending himself.

Doctor Marella: It issa very common mistake we Doctors of the science make. Chicken the pox and red pen … very difficult to … how you say … compare.

Melina smiles, and shakes her head, putting her hand on Marellas shoulder.

Melina: He means distinguish. Hard to distinguish between them.

Eric Bischoff: Hmm. I can see how that could be hard for a doctor … and I can see how much harder it would be for someone that isn’t actually a doctor, wouldn’t it Doctor Marella?? Or should I say … Santino.

Marella shakes his head.

Doctor Marella: Indeed it can be hard, especially for the untrained eyes. But I prefer to be referred to as Doctor.

Eric Bischoff: Well I’m afraid that wont be happening, because I did a little research on you last week, Doctor. And it made for interesting reading. For a start … you arent a doctor, are you??

Doctor Marella: Ahh, this is insane!! I refussse to be a-mocked by youuu.

Marella turns to leave, but Bischoff calls him back.

Eric Bischoff: I know you’re a wrestler, Santino. I’ve seen footage from a small organisation down in Ohio. Did all of you think you could get away with this??

Marella turns back around, and looks to Melina, then Mercury, as their plan is rumbled.

Santino Marella: This is an outrage. I’ve a never been so more insulted.

Bischoff grins, as MNM begin to realise the game is up.

Eric Bischoff: You’ve been rumbled. And to be honest, I don’t care if Nitro is really sick or not, he’s wrestling tonight, and those tag team titles will be on the line. Now stop wasting my time, and get the hell out of my office.

Melina punches Marella in the arm, as the foursome turn and leave the room, with Nitro perhaps legitimately sick, still wrapped up in the heavy blanket, and starts sneezing as they exit.

Elsewhere, Jillian Hall is pacing around at the back entrance of the arena, as more guests for the wedding arrive. She then notices the arrival of Destinys Child singer, Michelle Williams to the arena. Hall makes a beeline for the singer, hired to perform at the wedding tonight, and stops her before she enters…

Jillian Hall: Excuse me, Miss Williams?? I’m so sorry to give you this news.

Williams stops in her tracks, thrown off by the forward nature of Hall.

Michelle Williams: What do you mean?? What’s happened??

Hall stops dead for a moment, trying to think quickly.

Jillian Hall: Umm … double booked. Yep, both Triple H and Stephanie booked singers to come here tonight, and didn’t realise the other had done so too. Unfortunately, the other singer arrived a lot earlier, before you. And, well, you know the saying, first come, first served an’ all.

Hall shrugs her shoulders, whilst Williams looks stunned.

Michelle Williams: Hmm. That sucks. Why couldn’t someone have told me??

Hall, barely listening, nods in agreement, whilst hailing a cab for Williams.

Jillian Hall: It sucks, I know. But hey, with every cloud, right??

Williams looks confused as the cab pulls up.

Michelle Williams: Where’s my silver lining??

Still hardly listening, Hall opens the cab door, and almost pushes the singer in.

Jillian Hall: Umm … you don’t have one, I guess.

She shuts the door, and waves Williams off, as she rolls down the window with the cab moving off.

Michelle Williams: WAIT … WHOSE PAYING FOR THIS???

Hall waves the cab off, and turns, looking very excited.

Jillian Hall: See if I care superstar. La, la, la, la, la, la, laaaaaa. This is gonna be awesome.


2nd Match:
Rey Mysterio & DH Smith vs. Mister Kennedy & Finlay
Solid tag team bout, featuring the two men that clashed over the I.C Title on Saturday night, and one of the four men so far confirmed for the MITB ladder match at Wrestle Mania. Kennedy and Rey get reacquainted, whilst DH Smith is also given the opportunity to hang with some of the upper mid card acts on the show, looking to be their equal, and not just an up and coming jobber. He eventually is forced to play the usual face in peril role, before making a strong comeback, enabling him to tag in the Intercontinental Champion for a hot tag, bringing the fans to their feet.

Mysterio comes in, all guns blazing, taking on Kennedy and Finlay, using his blistering speed and quickness to confuse and startle the heel team. Finlay and Kennedy though rebound, and together, take down Rey. This leads to a run in from DH Smith, and all hell breaks loose. Rey and Kennedy - the legal men - exit the ring to continue their fight, whilst Finlay battles Smith in the ring. DH ducks a shillelagh shot, and kicks the weapon away, picking Finlay up, and looks to deliver the running Power slam … BUT THE LITTLE BASTARD GRABS THE LEG!!! Smith lets Finlay go, and slides to the outside to grab the leprechaun … but as he does, Finlay catches Smith with a baseball slide, sending him into the barricade!!!

Smith is taken out of the picture momentarily, as Rey gets back inside, and takes down the Irishman, into the ropes, and hit’s the crowd pleasing 619!!! Mysterio now leaps to the top rope, looking to drop the dime … BUT KENNEDY PUSHES HIM OFF, CRASHING ONTO THE CANVAS!!! Kennedy climbs back inside, and stalks his prey, waiting as Rey picks himself up, AND DELIVERS THE MIC CHECK!!! He hooks the leg, as Finlay fends off a recovering Smith from breaking the count, 1...2...3!!!
Winners: Mister Kennedy & Finlay @ 06:28

Kennedy gets another win over Mysterio, but again only in non title action, unable to beat Rey with the Intercontinental Title on the line this past weekend. He mouths something to the champion as he reaches his feet, having his arm raised in victory, along with Finlay. They leave the ring, as Smith enters, to apologise to Rey, after his rookie error cost them the advantage. Mysterio though shakes his head, not allowing the rookie to take the blame, telling him he did well, as Smith helps Rey to his feet.

The Coach: That proves it J.R. That right there proves that Mysterio got lucky at the SuperBrawl. Kennedy has beaten him now two straight weeks on Raw. That must surely merit another shot for Kennedy.

Jim Ross: I’d generally be inclined to agree, but Kennedy can rack up all the tag team wins his wants over Mysterio. If he cant get the job done in a one on one environment, then why should he keep getting the title shots??


We return from the commercial, backstage in Stephanie’s private dressing room tonight, with her make up artist doing her job … applying make up. Jillian Hall, the wedding planner enters the room, beaming from ear to ear, with Stephanie smiling back.

Jillian Hall: Stephanie, I have got some great news.

Steph spins around in her chair, looking excited.

Stephanie McMahon: Has Michelle arrived??

Hall smiles, and nods, before replying.

Jillian Hall: She was here.

Stephanie looks confused, before replying.

Stephanie McMahon: What do you mean, was??

Not realising that Stephanie is upset about the news, Hall still beams, as she replies.

Jillian Hall: She turned up, but Steph, she was in no position to perform for you tonight. She’s suffering from a bad throat infection, it would’ve been awful.

Steph starts to breathe heavily, and tears form in her eyes, and suddenly, lo and behold, we have waterworks. Typical woman. Hall hugs her, and rubs her back, telling her it’s okay.

Jillian Hall: Hey, hey, hey. None of those. We don’t want any of those. Don’t worry about a thing Stephy, leave it to me. I’m the wedding planner, and I’ve got a replacement … someone even better than that amateur.

Stephanie calms down, still sobbing a little, as Hall gets up to leave again.

Stephanie McMahon: Who … who have you got me??

Hall opens the door, still smiling.

Jillian Hall: ME!!!

Hall exit’s the room, as Steph tries to fake a smile, having never heard Hall sing before {she has yet to sing in this thread, so it‘s unknown how good / bad she‘ll be. And no, I’m not a fan of the gimmick, but I thought it’d add a bit of fun to the proceedings for this show}.

We return now, with Todd Grisham backstage with Mister Kennedy.

Todd Grisham: Mister Kennedy, just moments ago, for the second straight week on Raw, you defeated Rey Mysterio in a tag team match. However, this past Saturday, you were beaten my Mysterio in a one on one match with the Intercontinental Title on the line. G-

Mister Kennedy: Just stop right there. (Chuckles a little, then suddenly stops, and gets serious) I think I know where this is going. You’re either wondering if I’m not good enough to beat little Rey one on one, or maybe I just crack under the pressure when the title is on the line??

Todd Grisham: Well, both are questions that could be asked, b-

Kennedy breathes heavily, stopping Grisham.

Mister Kennedy: I am good enough. I don’t feel pressure. Saturday at SuperBrawl was a slip up. Mysterio wont beat me again. I cant afford to lose to him again. If I want to be taken seriously … I cant be seen losing to a guy that’s no bigger than a child, and wears a freakin mask. Let me ask you a question … Do you take me seriously, Todd??

Grisham nods.

Mister Kennedy: I don’t believe you. How can you take me seriously, when I cant beat Mysterio one on one?? Don’t answer. I just want you to watch … you will take me seriously.

Kennedy storms off the interview, as Grisham watches on.

We now see JOHN CENA walking down the hallway, with the spinning championship back with its rightful owner, and it looks like Cena is coming to the ring … right now!!!



John Cena gets the fans on their feet, as the NEW World Heavyweight Champion enters the arena!!! Cena pumps the fans up, and holds the title belt proudly aloft, as he makes his way to the ring.

Jim Ross: Listen to the ovation for the NEW World Heavyweight Champion!!! John Cena is in the building, and my word, you can feel the electricity!!! You are looking at one half of the main event of WrestleMania 23 … The Champ is here!!!

The Coach: Don’t get ahead of yourself J.R … it’s not set in stone just yet. Triple H is still gonna have a big say in what goes down on March 18, I promise you.

Cena hit’s the ring, and plays to the fans, as he grabs a mic, and doesn’t bother waiting for the music to die down.


The fans comply, and make some noise. Cena smiles and nods, looking around the arena.

John Cena: Let me introduce myself Chicago … I’m the champ … and the champ … ISSSSSS HERRRREEEE!!!!

Small pop from the fans, but a few boos too.

John Cena: Boy oh boy, does it feel good to say that again, after ten months. Heck, this time last month after the Royal Rumble, I thought it was over. I thought I was out of the title picture for the foreseeable future, and out of the picture for WrestleMania. Now, a couple weeks later … here I stand … World Heavyweight Champ … and in the main event of the biggest of ‘em all … WRESTLE MANIAAAAA!!!

Fans pop for the mention of WM 23.

John Cena: Triple H-

Boo for the mention of HHH.

John Cena: Tripper, credit where it’s due for ya … you promised it’d be one on one, with no interference, and you delivered.

Small pop from the fans, but some boos again.

John Cena: But in the end … that’s what cost ya homie.

Cena nods, with a few shouts from the crowd.

John Cena: It was the McMahons that saved you in December. It was the McMahons that saved you at the Royal Rumble … and you couldn’t save yourself at SuperBrawl.

Another small pop.

John Cena: I guess now since I did beat ya … I guess I’m that damn good now, huh??

Cena chuckles a little, and gets a mixed response for the last little comment. Cena gets serious again though to speak.

John Cena: And now I hear you want a rematch??

Cena looks around, almost as if to ask the fans if that’s true.

John Cena: I say … bring it on.

Fans pop, as Cena steps back in the ring, looking towards the entrance, almost expecting to see The Game.

John Cena: I aint gonna run from ya like you did with me. You want your shot?? I say lets make it happen.

Cheers now from the fans for Cenas balls to call out HHH.

John Cena: Because I guarantee ya H, there is nothing stopping me from goin to New Orleans, March 18, in front of 70,000 strong, to headline WrestleMania 23 against Christian.

Big time pop, and even a ‘CHRISTIAN’ chant is started.

John Cena: Yeah. That’s the match. And I promise, when Captain Charisma and I lock horns … when we get to it … you wont be disappointed.

The fans get excited, as Cena nods again.

John Cena: Two guys are gonna stand either side of this ring … both with one goal … both with one intention … and neither of us will stop at anything until we get it.

Pop from the fans, and a duelling ‘Cena’ and ‘Christian’ chant starts.

John Cena: Strap yourselves in for a heck of a ride on March 18. And Christian … get ready. After Saturday Nights Main Event, when you and I run through the McMahon Family Empire … it’s just you and me … and our mutual friendship … or whatever it is we’ve had for the last couple months … it’s done.


The fans come to their feet, as the #1 Contender enters the arena, right at the top of the second hour!!! Captain Charisma briskly walks down the aisle, wearing a dress shirt, and jeans, not in action tonight.


Jim Ross: This is IT Coach!!! This is the WrestleMania main event folks!!! Before our very eyes, Christian is on his way to ring!!!

The Coach: My oh my, J.R, you can feel the tension already!!!

Jim Ross: Christian, winner of the Royal Rumble last month, and the new World Champion John Cena are set on a collision course, in 41 days time. My Gawd, this could be explosive.

The Royal Rumble winner enters the ring, as the fans are at fever pitch. Cena and Christian cross paths, coming face to face for a moment, before Christian brushes past, and climbs the turnbuckle, pounding his chest, saluting his fans, before dropping down, and coming face to face with Cena again.

The two men don’t move an inch, locking eyes, allowing the fans to build to fever pitch, letting them battle over which of these two top faces they want to side with. In the ring, after a lengthy eye ball to eye ball showdown, and the fans cheering and chanting begins to die down, Captain Charisma slowly starts nodding, and Cena returns the favour. Neither man utters a word, as the fans build another duelling chant, not as feverishly as moments ago, with Christian and Cena still keeping their focus fixed on the other as Christian exit’s the ring.

Christian walks halfway up the ramp, and stops. The fans peak again, as Captain Charisma turns around, and locks eyes with the champion again - his WrestleMania opponent - with Cena staring right back at him!!! Christian nods again, just once, as does Cena, both men acknowledging the other, as Christian backs up the ramp, and Cena slowly raises the World title above his head.

Jim Ross: Can you imagine Coach, can you imagine how incredible, how thrilling it’ll be, less than six weeks from now, in front of OVER 70,000 inside the Superdome!!! I’ve got goosebumps on my arm already.

The Coach: I cant believe I’m gonna say this … but even I’m excited about this one. Triple H should rightfully be the champion, but I cannot wait to see Cena and Christian … it’s a collision course for WrestleMania 23!!!

Jim Ross: What a main event it’ll be. The anticipation can begin in earnest now … John Cena … Christian … WrestleMania 23!!!

A graphic now shows, for Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels inside the steel cage … up next!!!


Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels
Awesome contest, non stop action from the opening bell, with both men looking to end their recent rivalry once and for all, with the winner set to move on, and take a place in the Money in the Bank ladder match. Both men use the cage to their advantage throughout, giving the fans a memorable cage match, especially for a TV cage match. Orton finally gets a clear upper hand, and begins to wear HBK down, as we get set for a mid match commercial.


We return with Michaels now coming back, fighting from the ground after a boring chin lock during the break, picking up the pace once more, and starts to slam his opponent into the cage wall, one side then the other, getting the fans involved, making each side of the arena fight it out to cheer loudest for Orton to get sent into their side of the cage!!! The constant battering into the steel busts Orton open, as HBK is in full control, and scores a near fall from the impact shots into the cage, but Orton kicks out to keep the match alive.

Orton makes a comeback, and starts to give Michaels problems again, scoring a few near falls, but HBK survives. Orton now looks to climb to victory, but is followed by Michaels, and the two engage in a battle at the top of the cage, going blow for blow, trading shots, with both teetering … and eventually … ORTON FALLS TO THE CANVAS!!! HBK starts to climb, and looks to climb over, but stops himself and looks to the fans, before climbing back, at the top of the cage … AND DELIVERS THE FLYING ELBOW FROM THE TOP OF THE CAGE!!!!!

The fans are on their feet, chanting ‘HOLY SHIT’ as the two men lie motionless on the canvas, not moving after the stunning elbow!!! HBK slowly gets to his feet, with the fans chanting his name, and takes his position in the corner … as he starts to stomp his foot, tuning up the band … FOR SWEET CHIN MUSIC!!! He waits as Orton somehow gets to his feet, barely aware of where he is, as Michaels patiently waits, and Randy Orton finally turns around … SWEET CHIN MUSIC … BUT ORTON DUCKS IT … RKO!!! Randy drops an arm over Michaels, having just summoned enough energy to nail his trademark move, as the referee makes the count … 1...2..3!!!
Winner: Randy Orton @ 17:37

It’s a huge, CLEAN victory for Randy Orton getting the final word over Michaels in this feud, and also earns his spot in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match in six weeks time at WrestleMania. He slowly picks himself up, bloodied after a terrific effort from Michaels, and has his hand raised, leaving the ring, with the cage now rising again.

In the ring, Michaels is helped to his feet, coming to the realisation that Orton beat him tonight, fair and square. He starts to leave the ring when…

Voice: Tough break Shawn. Suck it up.

The camera now pans to the titan tron, and we see a smiling Mick Foley, met by a huge heel reception from the fans.

Mick Foley: Ohhh, tough crowd, huh?? Yet, here I am, about to say … it’s great to be back … RIGHT HERE … in the comfort of my own home.

Heat for Foley.

Mick Foley: That’s right … I invited the WWE to bring their cameras to my home tonight so I could issue an apology.

Mixed response.

Mick Foley: I’m sorry … to the McMahon Family, because I cant be in attendance for Stephanie and Triple Hs wedding this evening.

Heat for the switch, as fans were expecting him to apologise to HBK.

Mick Foley: So unfortunately for you Shawn, I cant apologise to you again this week face to face.

Foley now sits forward on his chair, as if only he and Shawn can hear what he is about to say.

Mick Foley: If I’m being honest Shawn, last week … is … it’s a bit like a blur. In the last couple of months … I’ve … started to feel a little … peculiar. I’m doing things that I don’t realise I’m doing … until I’ve done it.

Foley continues to sit forward, wiping his hair back, as he continues to speak, with an almost manic smirk on his face.

Mick Foley: I’m actually starting to feel myself … lose control. It scares me Shawn … it’s scaring me.

Foley pants for a few seconds, breathing deeply, as he starts to mutter again.

Mick Foley: And … yunno … d’ya know what scares me most of all Shawn?? I don’t know what I’m gonna do next … hell Shawn … I don’t know what I’m capable of doing next.

Foley steadies himself, composing himself to speak again.

Mick Foley: But … as it happens … on this occasion Shawn, I DO know what I’m doing next. I’m heading to Philadelphia, and I’ll be appearing at Saturday Nights Main Event this weekend.

Small pop, as Foley smiles again.

Mick Foley: And ironically … this time Shawn … I’ll have a question for you.

Foley lets that sink in for a moment, as Michaels looks up at the tron as if to say ‘are you for real??’

Mick Foley: Now, I know … I know Shawn, that I have yet to get to the bottom of why I’ve targeted you … I know … I know you deserve those answers Shawn … I just … cant give you them.

Boos for Foley. Foley meanwhile, leans forward in the chair again.

Mick Foley: I’m a troubled soul Shawn. Please forgive me … please … (whispers) help me.

Foley gets up, and grabs the camera, seemingly switching it off as the titan tron switches to black. In the ring, Michaels looks disturbed by what he just heard, and looks confused, as well as exhausted, having just competed in a hellacious steel cage match. He leaves the ring, limping up the ramp, selling the cage match, still looking extremely disturbed by Foleys words as we cut away.


We return backstage, where Vince McMahon is putting the finishing touches to his suit, with only a bow tie to put on, as Triple H enters, also fully dressed now, bar the bow tie.

Mr. McMahon: You okay??

McMahon turns, and looks at a seething Triple H.

Triple H: I’m furious Vince. Your wife?? She needs put into line. Nobody gets away with talking to me like that in my ring. If her last name wasn’t McMahon … I’d have taken her head off right there and then.

The Game punches the wardrobe venting his anger, as Vince tries to calm him down.

Mr. McMahon: Hey … that is my wife you’re talking about …(Vince smiles) but you’re right. But you’d better get used it … as much as she’d deny it, Stephy is pretty much like her mother.

Triple H doesn’t really see the funny side.

Triple H: I’m aware of that Vince, we have been married before.

Vince puts an arm around The Game, still trying to calm him down.

Mr. McMahon: Then … you’ll know how much tonight means to her. You’ll know this is the biggest night of her life, and she’ll know if you’ve got other things on your mind. Now, I know you’re upset. I know you’re worried about getting your rematch for the World Heavyweight Championship … but don’t be. After tonight, you’re officially back in the family … which means you’ve got friends in high places … including the CEO and the Chairman of this company.

Triple H nods, accepting Vinces words.

Mr. McMahon: So Hunter, for the rest of tonight, I want you to forget about the World title … and I want to you enjoy making my daughter … my little princess the happiest woman on this planet.

The Game smiles, and nods, agreeing with Vince.

Triple H: She is great, and she does deserve it. You’re right.

The two hug, but are rudely interrupted … AS BROCK LESNAR BURSTS INTO THE ROOM!!!

Brock Lesnar: Are you avoiding me Vince??

Lesnar hovers over Vince, with the Chairman cowering. The Game then steps in, and he and Lesnar go face to face!!!

Triple H: Got a problem??

HHH gets in Lesnars face, expecting Brock to back off … BUT LESNAR PUSHES FORWARD, as The Games eyes widen in shock.

Brock Lesnar: Damn right I have a problem … but you’re not the guy I came to see … you’re not the guy with the answers I need.

Lesnar now turns to Vince and gets in his face again.

Brock Lesnar: You promised me Cena at WrestleMania Vince. I wanted Cena at WrestleMania. Now I see that punk running around Raw with the World Championship, where the hell does that leave me?? WHERE??

Lesnar pushes Vince against the wall, and The Game steps in again … BUT GETS SHOVED OUT OF THE WAY!!! Brock grips Vince by the shirt, and glares in his face, demanding answers.

Brock Lesnar: I’m sick and tired of digging your family (points at Triple H) out of holes, and getting nothing in return. Now-

Looking as if he is fearing for his life, Vince interrupts to calm Lesnar down.

Mr. McMahon: Next week. Next week Brock, I promise you. I’ll have your opponent for WrestleMania.

Lesnar lets go of Vince now, as we see Triple H picking himself up.

Brock Lesnar: Cena??

Before Vince can answer, Triple H speaks instead, still trying to pull himself together, and looking to save face, talking tough.

Triple H: Damn right. This time next week, I’ll be on my way to becoming World Champion again, and you and Cena are welcome to each other.

Lesnar turns from Vince, and goes face to face again with Triple H.

Brock Lesnar: For your sake … I hope your right.

Lesnar brushes past The Game, and leaves the room, passing Shane, who enters the room, in the process. He looks around, as Vince and Triple H look ruffled from the exchange.

Shane McMahon: Did I miss something??

Neither man answers, but The Game looks ready to snap, and starts unbuttoning his shirt, and takes his cufflinks off.

Triple H: Screw it … sorry Vince, but I’m taking care of that piece of crap, then I’ll focus on the wedding.

Triple H tries to leave the room, but Shane & Vince hold him back, stopping him from going after Lesnar.

Mr. McMahon: Think about it Hunter. Just think about it first. Right now, we need that big lump on our side. We need him for Saturday Nights Main Event. He’s an expendable talent for us Hunter. Once we get Saturday out of the way … and you’ve beaten John Cena or Christian in the middle of the ring … they cant deny you a title shot, and then we can forget about Lesnar. But for now, we need him. Okay??

Triple H looks at both Shane and Vince, then backs down. He accepts the argument, and pulls away, looking to calm himself down.

Triple H: One of these days … he’s gonna push me too far.

Shane now tries to perk HHH up.

Shane McMahon: Hey, and I’ve just been talking with Tomko. He’s all set for Cena later. And just to make sure he doesn’t make it to Saturday Nights Main Event in one piece, I made a couple of visits tonight. You get my drift??

Triple H nods, but still looks furious. Vince now tries to lighten the mood a bit.

Mr. McMahon: Hey, what’s a best man for, huh??

Vince puts his hand on Shanes shoulder, as the McMahons smile, as we fade out…

Victoria vs. Candice Michelle vs. Alexis Laree vs. Jazz
Quick match, with all four going out with something to prove it seems in a high energy contest. It’s almost constant near falls from the outset, and the finish nears as Jazz applies a Chicken Wing to Candice, with Candice set to tap out … when Victoria breaks the hold!!! Victoria chucks Jazz out of the ring, and looks to finish Candice off, HITTING THE WIDOWS PEAK!!! She covers, 1...2...ALEXIS BREAKS THE COUNT!!! Candice now rolls out of the ring, as Alexis and Victoria duke it out, until Laree delivers the Laree-DT, and hooks the leg, 1...2...3!!!
Winner: And to face Melina @ Saturday Nights Main Event - Alexis Laree @ 04:12

Laree picks up the victory, and books herself another opportunity against the womens champion, this coming Saturday. She has her hand raised, and looks delighted.

Jim Ross: There we have it Coach, Alexis Laree will go on to challenge Melina for the Womens Title, this Saturday night. Add to that the already announced 5 on 2 tag team war, pitting the current WrestleMania main event, the World Champion John Cena & Christian, up against Triple H, Tyson Tomko, Mr. McMahon, Shane McMahon, and of course, The Iron Man, Brock Lesnar!!! Not forgetting, that Mick Foley will also be in attendance, and he’ll have a question for Shawn Michaels!!!

The Coach: I just wonder J.R … how can Lesnar co-exist with Triple H after what we just saw??

Jim Ross: That is one heck of a question Coach.


Now, backstage, we see MNM, with Mercury now limping, all approaching Eric Bischoffs office again, with Melina knocking the door again, and entering the room. Bischoff lets out a laugh, as he watches the foursome come towards him again.

Eric Bischoff: Are you people for real??

Melina now looks concerned, as she approaches Bischoff.

Melina: Mister Bischoff, I am pleading with you here, my guys cant wrestle tonight. Nitro REALLY IS sick, he can barely walk with the flu, and, and … Mercury?? During the warm up, he’s pulled something in his leg!!

Eric doesn’t look impressed.

Eric Bischoff: I think you lot are trying to pull my leg. This isn’t funny anymore Melina. You and your boys are in trouble arent you??

Melina looks relieved, with Bischoff coming around.

Melina: Thank God Eric. Thank you for realising-

Bischoff cuts her off, and speaks over her.

Eric Bischoff: No, I didn’t mean it like that, Melina. I meant, your boys are in trouble … because if they really are sick, then I guess they’ll not be walking out of Chicago with those tag team title belts, will they?? The match is on.

The fans are heard cheering in the background, whilst Melina starts to get angered.

Melina: I don’t believe this Eric!! Is this how you treat your assets??

Bischoff, smile fading, is quick to respond, cutting Melina down, and laying the law.

Eric Bischoff: Only the ones that treat me like a fool. I take it you’ve never heard of the boy who cried wolf?? I suggest you, Nitro, Mercury, and the good Doctor here all read it sometime. Now … get the hell out of my office, and I’d suggest you try and think of a way for MNM to leave here tonight with those titles.

Melina shakes her head, out of options, as the four turn, and leave again, with Nitro still wrapped up in a blanket, and Mercury limping on his bad wheel.

Back into the arena…

5th Match:
Umaga w/ Armando Estrada vs. Kevin Thorn w/ Michael Knox & Ariel
Squash win for Umaga to just keep his face on the show whilst other things go on before he can starting getting involved in the build towards Money in the Bank in six weeks time at WrestleMania. Throughout the match, J.R and Coach use the opportunity to talk up Umaga and the MITB ladder match, wondering out loud how this big savage will fare when it comes to climbing a ladder. Umaga gets the easy win in the end, through the Samoan Spike, 1...2...3!!!
Winners: Umaga @ 02:38

Estrada joins Umaga in the ring afterward, and raises the savages hand, whilst the Cult Society help their leader out of the ring.

Jim Ross: It’s another devastating display from the Samoan Bulldozer, who continues his path of destruction, toward WrestleMania, where he will be one of eight men to compete in the Money in the Bank ladder match. So far, we know he will be joined by Randy Orton and Finlay from Raw, whilst MVP and Chris Jericho will line up from Smackdown, three more men will join them in the coming weeks, but you have to wonder, can any of those men stand in the way of that savage??

The Coach: It may well be their best opportunity if you think about it J.R. He doesn’t need to be pinned, and he wont need to submit. They just need to climb the ladder before Umaga does!!!

Jim Ross: Well, still to come tonight folks, MNM will be defending the tag team titles, finally, after weeks of excuses, they will be forced to defend, against the hungry duo of CM Punk & Gregory Helms. Not only that, but our new World Champion is also in action, against Tyson Tomko … and that’s next!!!


{Third Hour}

Tomko is already in the ring, as he waits for Cena…


The Champ enters to a grand reception, wasting little time, pointing to his opponent in the ring, and jogging down the ramp, getting the match off to a fast start.

6th Match:
John Cena vs. Tyson Tomko
Tomko gives Cena a fight, making sure it isn’t a squash match, but ultimately proves to be overmatched, with J.R and Coach speculating that the I Quit match took too much out of Tomko, whilst Cena is still on a high after the Iron Man Match. Cena nails the FU, and applies the STFU … AND TOMKO TAPS OUT!!!
Winner: John Cena @ 03:58

Cena has his hand raised, but as soon as that happens … THE BROTHERHOOD HIT THE RING!!! Shelton Benjamin, Mark Henry, Orlando Jordan and Rodney Mack all jump the World Heavyweight Champion, with Shane McMahon laughing all the way down the ramp with Theodore Long, as a plan comes together!!! The foursome stomp down Cena …

BUT SUDDENLY CHRISTIAN COMES SPRINTING DOWN THE AISLE!!! He pushes past Shane and Theodore, and slides into the ring, ducking under a clothesline from Henry … BEFORE EXPLODING WITH A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE TO JORDAN AND MACK!!! Christian gets back up, and met by Shelton Benjamin, and the two men trade blows, with Shelton quickly backed up by Mark Henry to beat on Captain Charisma!!!

Christian takes a beating in the corner, but quickly, Cena is back up, and after disposing of Mack and Jordan to the outside, he comes to the aide of Christian, attacking Mark Henry, and eventually tackles him down with a shoulder block, taking the Worlds Strongest Man off his feet!!! Meanwhile, Christian gets the better of Shelton, and dropkicks him, with Benjamin tumbling out of the ring, before Captain Charisma and Cena join forces, and team up to clothesline Mark Henry over the top rope, and to the floor below!!!

Both men walk around the ring, with the fans cheering the two men, set to collide at WrestleMania, before they eventually meet eyes. They both stop, staring at the other, before Christian calls for a mic. Lillian hands Captain Charisma the mic, as the fans settle down, waiting to hear what he has to say.

Christian: Vince McMahon … come on down …

Cena and Christian talk off the mic for a moment, with Cena possibly wondering what Christian is up to.

No music plays, but Vince does appear from behind the curtain, looking infuriated by this interruption. He is joined at the top of the ramp by his son Shane, whose plan just went awry.

Mr. McMahon: What the hell is the meaning of this?? What the hell do you want?? Cant you see that I’m busy this evening??

Christian shrugs, not caring about annoying the boss.

Christian: Well I guess life’s a bitch, isn’t it??

Small pop, as Cena smiles at the comment.

Christian: Y’see Vince, I don’t know about John, or my peeps in Chicago…

Cheap pop.

Christian: But I’m sick and tired of having to face the odds, week in, week out here on Raw. I’m sick of you stacking the deck against us, just like you’re gonna do this Saturday night.

Fans give heat, as Cena shakes his head.

Christian: It’ll be John Cena and myself, taking on, Triple H, Brock Lesnar, Tomko, yourself and good ‘ol silver spoon himself.

Small ‘SHANES A PUSSY’ chant kicks off.

Christian: But as always … Cena and I are gonna fight those odds head on, no questions asked … cause that’s how we roll.

Cheers now from the fans.

Christian: But saying as this IS Saturday Nights Main Event this weekend … why not raise the stakes a little.

Big time pop.

Christian: After all, why should you have all the fun?? How about you prove your confidence in beating us this Saturday … and say, if we win?? YOU have to take a forfeit.

The fans get excited, as Vince gulps on the stage. In the ring, Cena now has the mic.

John Cena: I like the sound of that. Pity though, it seems old Vince up there isn’t so keen. What’s wrong Vinnie?? Cat got your tongue?? Looks like those grapefruits are shrinking, huh Christian??

Christian takes the mic back, smiling and nodding.

Christian: Damn right. What’s up Vince?? You don’t look awfully confident??

Vince looks around, taking in the abuse from the crowd, before speaking.

Mr. McMahon: What type of forfeit are we talking about here??

Christian and Cena look to each other, enjoying this.

Christian: That’d take away the surprise though, wouldn’t it??

John Cena: But let’s just say we don’t want a night of passion with Stephanie to pick up a lucky bag of sexually transmitted diseases. We can rule that out.

Laughs from some of the audience. Vince is getting angrier on the ramp, and seems to reach breaking point.

Mr. McMahon: Alright, if you two clowns are so confident you can beat us this Saturday … how about, if the pair of you lose … which you will … you’ll both perform a forfeit.

Heat from the fans, as Vince begins to perk up. In the ring, Christian and Cena don’t seem concerned.

Christian: We accept.

Big pop from the fans. Vince though, cuts the fans off, speaking over them.

Mr. McMahon: Excellent. I hope you gentlemen come prepared this Saturday … and make sure you both brush your teeth well … because when you lose this match … you’re both going to join a very special club … THE KISS MY ASS CLUB!!!!!

The fans gasp at the thought of their two heroes kissing the bosses ass this Saturday night!!! In the ring, Cena and Christian talk off the mic again, not looking overly concerned but not totally confident either.

Mr. McMahon: But that’s not all gentlemen. There is the little matter of tonights festivities. Later on, my princess is getting married … and I don’t want anything to spoil her night.

Heat for Vince.

Mr. McMahon: Which is why I’ve taken it upon myself to escort both of you from this arena … right … now.

A team of security now enter through the curtain, and charge down the ramp, towards the ring, where Cena and Christian stand and watch the oncoming security.

Mr. McMahon: I want you to escort both of these men out of this arena, I don’t care how much force you have to use, just make it happen. And gentlemen, I’ll be seeing you on Saturday night.

Vince drops the mic, and heads off the stage behind the curtain with Shane following behind, whilst in the ring, Cena and Christian decide to go without a fight, and exit the ring, being escorted from the arena, as we go to another commercial.



We return, and see a bunch of jugglers and clowns running around the back entrance, as a worker brings Jillian Hall to meet them… as Hall lays her eyes on the posse of clowns, she looks shocked, and quickly makes her way to the circus acts, approaching a man standing still, almost like a statue.

Jillian Hall: Who are you people?? What are you doing here??

The statue man stays perfectly still, as Hall waves in his face. Behind her, a mime is copying her every move.

Jillian Hall: HELLOOOOOO!!!!

Hall now stops a man on a unicycle, with the man tumbling over. She picks him up and starts questioning him.

Jillian Hall: Who are you people??

The man looks angry having been knocked off his bike, but speaks to Hall anyway.

Unicyclist: We’re here for the wedding. Vince McMahon booked us.

Hall looks taken aback, but accepts the answer, not wanting to get on the wrong side of the boss.

Jillian Hall: Oh … okay. Okay. Sorry about the … misunderstanding.

Hall then turns and walks off, as the camera slowly turns, and in the distance, we see John Cena and Christian - now barred from the arena, smiling, as they watch the carnage unfold from afar. Surely this isn’t the work of Messrs Cena and Christian, is it??

Back into the arena…


A dishevelled MNM enter the arena, with Santino Marella joining the trio, as Nitro is still wrapped up in a blanket, and Mercury limps behind, struggling on his leg. Melina meanwhile looks extremely concerned, but Marella appears to be enjoying the flash of the photographers, posing for the cameras.

Jim Ross:
Well, after weeks of dodging the bullet, tonight is the night, that finally MNM will defend their tag team titles against Straight Edge. Nitro appears to suffering from the flu, Mercury has picked up a leg injury in the warm up. Karma is truly a bitch, and MNM will have to suffer the consequences … when we come back!!!


MNM w/ Melina & Santino Marella vs. Straight Edge
Straight Edge look to be relishing finally getting their hands on MNM, with the champions really struggling, as it now appears that they were sick and injured all along, and not faking it this week. Helms and Punk don’t seem to care about that, having had to put up with weeks of frustration, and show no mercy to MNM, with Punk being treated like the biggest star in the world, with his hometown fans 100% behind their man.

It looks like MNM will be losing their titles without a fight, as both men are completely off the pace, missing moves, falling into the ropes, limping around the ring, and whilst on the apron, Nitro is seen having to blow his nose with a handkerchief. On the outside, Melina is going spare, barely able to look as her team crumbles in the ring, with Straight Edge closing in on the titles. In a last desperate attempt, Melina jumps on the apron, distracting the referee, but MNM screw up their chance to double team, as Punk takes them both out with a double dropkick!!!

Marella now gets in the ring to help out, but he catches a case of the limber tales, and freezes as Punk and Helms turn and face him. Santino fears getting a beating, and suddenly has a change of heart … turning around … AND CLOTHESLINES MERCURY!!! The referee sees this … and is left with no option … calling for the bell … disqualifying Straight Edge!!!
Winners: Via DQ - And STILL World Tag Team Champions - MNM @ 04:07

There is all sorts of confusion in the ring, as Marella slides out … AND HUGS MELINA … as MNM retain the titles!!! The quick thinking of Marella saves the titles, whilst in the ring Straight Edge are absolutely furious. They had the titles in the bag, but just got screwed by Santino!!!

Mercury joins Melina and Marella on the outside, but in the ring … Nitro is at the mercy of Straight Edge!!! On the outside, the trio try to get their man out of the ring, but Helms stops them, whilst inside, Punk scoops Nitro up … AND NAILS THE PUNK CARD!!! He pulls Nitro back up, and throws him to the outside, to join his compatriots, having delivered his message for tonight. In the ring, Helms and Punk stand tall, pointing to the lucky, lucky champions, telling them it’s not over, before motioning around their waists that the title will still be theirs.

Jim Ross: How long can those two get away with it!!! How long can MNM survive as tag team champions without giving those two men, CM Punk and Greg Helms a fair shot at those titles!!!

The Coach: Whenever they’re healthy J.R!!! That’s when!!! MNM shouldn’t have been expected to defend tonight, when it was clearly obvious that neither man was 100%!!! Normally I’m right on Mister Bischoffs side, but not tonight.

Jim Ross: One day Coach. One day there will be no excuses, and MNM will have to answer the question … can they rise to the challenge of beating Straight Edge!!! And this weekend, Melina will have to do some defending of her own, when she takes on Alexis Laree, with the womens title on the line, this Saturday night in Philadelphia, at Saturday Nights Main Event!!!

The Coach: If Alexis Laree can keep getting shots at Melina, despite losing time after time, then I don’t see why Mister Kennedy needs to prove himself for another shot at the Intercontinental Champion, Rey Mysterio!!!

Jim Ross: Not only that, but there will be further high stakes, as John Cena and Christian, the current WrestleMania main event, will need to stay on the same page as they team up to tackle five men, the former World Champion, Triple H, Mr. McMahon, Shane McMahon, Tyson Tomko, and of course, Brock Lesnar.

The Coach: That’s right. If Cena and Christian fail to win, they’ll be puckering up J.R … NEW MEMBERS OF THE KISS MY ASS CLUB!!! They’ll be joining you J.R!!!

Jim Ross: I thought that ‘illustrious’ club has closed it’s doors once and for all many years ago, and yes Coach, I do remember joining that infamous club, and I solemnly hope that Cena and Christian don’t need to suffer that same humiliation this weekend. Let’s not forget though Coach, should Cena and Christian win in Philadelphia on Saturday, McMahon will need to perform a forfeit of his own!!!

The Coach: Oh, but they wont J.R!!! Vince never gambles unless he’s sure!!!

Jim Ross: One man, who may well be gambling this weekend, is Mick Foley. What in the world is going through Micks mind?? Foley has confirmed he will show up this weekend, and he has a question for Shawn Michaels. Will Michaels be able to keep his cool long enough to allow Foley time to ask whatever his question is?? We’ll find out at Saturday Nights Main Event.

The Coach: Very disturbing situation J.R. I keep saying it, but no one listens … Foley has been hit too many times with a steel chair!!! His brain is fried!!!

Jim Ross: Smackdown of course will also be represented at Saturday Nights Main Event, and what a huge match, Kurt Angle, who faces The Undertaker at WrestleMania, gets to tune up for The Deadman, when he takes on his brother, The Big Red Monster, Kane!!!

The Coach: Kurt Angle has never been more intense, never more focused, since his return from a sabbatical in November, when he made the Undertaker … tap. Never done before J.R, but it will be done again, in less than six weeks, at WrestleMania!!! The Deadmans streak ENDS at WrestleMania 23, and we’ll get s sneak preview at Saturday Nights Main Event.

Jim Ross: And we also found out earlier this afternoon on wwe.com, that Brian Kendrick will face Super Crazy this Saturday night, and the winner will be the next contender to Kid Kash and the Cruiserweight Championship!!!

The Coach: I love the Notorious K-I-D, J.R, he’s one of the reasons I watch Smackdown on Fridays, neither Kendrick or Super Crazy can lace the mans boots!!!

Jim Ross: And keep checking for updates on wwe.com in the coming days, as more matches are set to be announced for this Saturday Nights spectacular event!!! But still to come tonight, it’s the wedding of the year!!! {/sarcasm}, Stephanie McMahon and Triple H will be joined in Holy Matrimony, you’ll not want to miss it.



The VP then ends with the graphic for WRESTLEMANIA XXIII - MARCH 18TH 2007 - FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER IN NEW ORLEANS.

We return and see Stephanie now in her wedding dress, with her bridesmaids, {no one we recognise} gushing over how beautiful she looks.

Elsewhere, we see many superstars now lining the halls, dressed smartly, ready to take their seats for the wedding.

8th Match:
Booker T & Elijah Burke vs. Garrison Cade & Nick Dinsmore
Pure filler tag match, but a solid contest, despite the calls of ‘boring’ from the fans in attendance. The four men get a chance to shine, but no one really stands out, with J.R and Coach basically using the time to hype Saturday Nights Main Event and WrestleMania. The finish comes as Burke makes a hot tag from Booker, and cleans house. Booker takes Dinsmore out of the ring, which allows Cade and Burke to battle in the ring, and it’s Burke who scores a surprise win, fighting out of a Razors Edge attempt, and rolling up Cade, 1...2...3!!!
Winners: Elijah Burke & Booker T @ 03:59

It’s a feel good win for the face team, and they put themselves perhaps right back in the title picture for the belts, with a victory tonight against two well thought of competitors on the Raw roster, in Cade and Dinsmore.

Jim Ross: This team of youth and experience certainly seems to be working for these two men Coach, this victory could well put them back in the tag title radar!!!

The Coach: They’ve had their shot J.R. If they want another one, they’ll have to be patient … very patient.

We switch now backstage, as Triple H, joined by his best man, Shane McMahon, makes his way down the hall for the wedding.

Jim Ross: Well, when we come back, it’s time for unholy matrimony. Triple H, Stephanie McMahon, the unholy marriage. The unholy union, they’re made for each other!!! Join us, when we come back.


Hall of Fame Video - This years second inductee - ‘IRON’ MIKE TYSON

We return, with the fans chanting Tyson’s name, as we come back ringside.

Jim Ross: Oh my!!! The Baddest Man on the Planet, will be taking over New Orleans on March 17, when he is inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame, class of 2007. What an explosive addition Coach, to the Hall of Fame. Another celebrity inductee.

The Coach: He was involved in one of the most memorable moments in WrestleMania history in 1998, when he knocked out Shawn Michaels. Duck for cover J.R, Mike Tyson is comin to the Hall of Fame!!!

We now look at the ring, and see everything set up, ropes taken away, and a mini chapel set up, along with a massive cake in the corner, as the man of the cloth enters the ring, as the superstars of Raw take their seats on the aisle, with Tyson Tomko acting as usher for this service. Jillian Hall watches from afar, still keeping things in check.

Jim Ross: The time has come Coach. I hope you’ve got your Kleenex at hand!!


How inappropriate, huh?? Triple H enters his wedding to his entrance music. The Game decides not to carry any water, instead making a dignified entrance, walking down the aisle, where the superstars of Raw are split down the middle of.

He steps into the ring, and shakes hands with the Priest, before looking up the ramp, waiting …


It’s not the reaction Stephanie would have hoped for on her wedding day, with the fans letting her know what they think of her. Vince escorts his daughter down the aisle, with the superstars clapping, and looking pleased for Stephanie, as she enters the ring, and the music dies down.

Father: We are gathered here today to join Hunter and Stephanie in the unity of marriage in the eyes of god.

Heat from the fans, with Vince looking furious as the fans response.

Father: Now, I believe, you have put together a … a video of sorts?? To show the world the love each of you share??

Triple H and Stephanie nod.

Father: Well, without further ado, can we play this video??

Everyone now turns their attention to the titan tron, and a video plays to the tune of ‘Chasing Cars’ by Snow Patrol, with Stephanie seen filling with tears as the video plays. At the end, the fans are heard giving the love birds plenty of heat, as they hug.

Father: Very touching. Now, I’m aware that you both have decided to write your own personal vows??

Triple H and Stephanie nod.

Father: Very well. Stephanie, would you like to speak first??

Heat from the fans, but Stephanie ignores it, and smiles. She nods to the Father, and turns to Triple H to speak.

Stephanie McMahon: Hunter, you truly are the love of my life. Ever since we divorced four and a half years ago, I’ve had … an emptiness in my life. For years, I attempted to move on with my life, I met many other men…

Reaction from the fans. Stephanie stops, and turns to the fans, throwing a scowl in their direction, as a ‘SLUT’ chant begins to surface.

Stephanie McMahon: But none of them … not even one, could come close to you Hunter. I’ve always known that you and I are meant to be together, and not one day has passed since we divorced that I haven’t regretted what happened. I want us to make up for those last four years, and with our daughter, I want us to be a family, forever.

Stephanie wells up with tears.

Stephanie McMahon: Hunter, I don’t want to close my eyes. I don’t want to fall asleep … because I’ll miss you baby … and I don’t want to miss a thing.

Heat for Stephanie for all the sentimentality, and the stolen line from Aerosmith. Stephanie now looks to the top of the ramp, as Jillian nods, taking her cue…


Heat from the fans, not wanting to hear anymore, as Jillian is interrupted.

Father: I think that’s enough.

The fans pop, as we see Triple H take a long breath, looking shocked by how bad the singing was.

Father: Can we move on?? Hunter, do you want to make your speech??

Heat from the fans, as Triple H now turns to Stephanie.

Triple H: Steph … until last Christmas in 2005, I thought I was over you. I thought I had moved on. But the moment our eyes met at that Christmas get together, it all came flooding back.

More heat from the fans, and a ‘BULLSHIT’ chant develops.

Triple H: And I thank the lord, for our daughter. Who if it wasn’t for her, we might not be here tonight. Aurora Rose has brought us closer … she has completed us … much like you complete me.

More derogatory chants from the fans, but The Game continues.

Triple H: You have helped me become a better person … you’ve helped me get my focus back professionally … I wouldn’t be anything without you Steph … my love … my darling … I need your love … God speed your love … to me.

The Father now speaks, after The Game cheeses a little after stealing the lines from ‘Unchained Melody’

Father: And would you like Miss Hall to sing that for us??

Instantly, Triple H shakes his head, not wanting to hear Jillian sing again.

Triple H: No. No, I think we’re good.

The father looks to give a sigh of relief to that one, whilst Jillian looks a bit put out on the stage.

Father: So, before we progress to the exchanging of the rings … I should now ask, if there are any persons here present, who objects to the holy matrimony of Hunter and Stephanie. Speak now, or forever hold your peace.

He waits for a moment, and it appears no one will object. Then…

The arena goes RED!!! A maniacal laugh booms throughout the arena … AND THE BOOGEYMAN APPEARS FROM THE CAKE!!!!! The fans pop, as The Boogeyman crawls out of the cake, and makes his way to the podium.

The Boogeyman: Hunter … and Steph-anie … sittin in a … TREE!!! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! I’M THE BOOGEYMAN … AND I’M COMIN … TO GIVE YA … A GIFT!!!

The Boogeyman now pulls out a handful or worms!!! He pulls Stephanies hand out, and slaps the worms in her hand, then SMASHES HIS CLOCK OVER HIS HEAD!!!

The Boogeyman slithers out of the ring, and crawls up the ramp, as the lights come back on, and we see Shane taking the worms from a disgusted Stephanie, as Vince wipes his daughters hand.

Father: This is absolutely ridiculous. Can we just get on with it please. Have you got the rings??

Shane nods, pulling the rings out of his pocket, handing them over.

Father: Okay, umm, with these rings, you are declaring your undying love for one another, vowing to remain together, forever. In sickness and in health, till death us do part. Hunter, please place the ring on the third finger on Stephanies left hand.

Triple H obliges, placing the ring on Stephanies finger.

Father: And Stephanie, if you could do the same.

Stephanie obliges, doing the same.

Father: Now, with the power vested in me, I now pronounce you, husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.

Triple H spins Stephanie around, and scoops her down, kissing his wife. The guests are on their feet, clapping, as Vince now takes to the podium.

Mr. McMahon: And Stephanie, as my gift for you, I have brought in the finest violinists to play you and Hunter up the aisle. Congratulations.

Hall on the stage looks a little confused, getting on her mic.

Jillian Hall: Mr. McMahon … umm … you didn’t order violinists.

McMahon looks angry in the ring, and gets mad at the wedding planner.

Mr. McMahon: I know who I ordered Jillian. Get them out here.

Jillian shrugs, and moves behind the curtain, ushering out the act that Vince ordered to perform … and out step the circus freaks!!!

In the ring, Vinces face drops, shocked by what he is seeing, whilst Stephanie looks sickened, beginning to bawl, seeing her perfect day turned into a joke. McMahon gets on the mic.

Mr. McMahon: This is a disgrace!!! I didn’t order these freaks!!! Get them out of my arena!!!

Jillian isn’t able to move the clowns, jugglers, mimes and acrobats, as Triple H loses his temper, and just decides to leave, yelling at Vince to get the limo out here now. Vince nods, and gets on his cell phone, wanting the limo to meet them at the entrance.

The limo enters the arena, as Triple H and Stephanie make their way up the aisle, already looking unhappy, only moments after marrying!!! The reach the limo, and Shane bangs on the windows of the drivers side, telling the driver to get out and do his job.

The driver opens his door … AND OUT STEPS JOHN CENA!!!!! The fans pop big time, as Cena exit’s the limo, with Shane wide eyed in shock. Cena (somehow) has a mic in hand, and starts to speak.

John Cena: I’m sorry Tripper, it’s been a while since I drove one of these things. I forgot the protocol.

The fans pop, whilst The Game looks livid, as does Vince. Triple H gets set to go after Cena, but Stephanie begs him not to.

John Cena: I’m not here to cause trouble. To be honest, I was a little disappointed not to be invited, and so was Christian. But, to prove there are no hard feelings … we got you guys a gift.

Stephanie and Triple H look at each other, as Vince, Tomko and Shane join them at the passenger side of the limo at the rear.

John Cena: I’m gonna be driving you guys wherever the heck you want. And Christian, he got ya’ll a really special gift. I mean, what’s a wedding without confetti??

Suddenly, little bits of confetti drop from the ceiling … but that’s quickly followed … BY GUNGE!!!!!

The McMahon Family Empire get plastered in gunge!!!! All five slip to the floor, and get back up, only to slip down again!!! The fans are going ape shit, as Cena jumps back in the limo, and reverses out, driving past the gunge soaked McMahons, leaving them to suffer on what should’ve been a glorious night!!!

Jim Ross: This is not how the McMahon Family Empire envisioned this night ending!!! How embarrassing!!! It was supposed to be the greatest day of the Billion Dollar princess life, and she’ll be wanting to forget it as quickly as possible!!!

The Coach: Cena and Christian are gonna pay J.R. They are gonna pay big time this Saturday night!!! I guarantee it!!! They’re gonna rue the day that they crossed Mr. McMahons princess!!! They’ll be kissing his ass this Saturday!!! This is shocking!!!

Jim Ross: Cena and Christian have had their fun tonight. They may live to regret it though, when they face the wrath of the McMahon Family Empire this Saturday, at Saturday Nights Main Event!!

The McMahon Family Empire struggle to their feet, still slipping under the gunge, ending the show in an absolute mess, as we go off the air.



Current Card for WWE Saturday Nights Main Event:
Date: 10th February 2006
Location: Wachovia Centre, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Event Music: POD, Lights Out

5 on 2 Handicap Match:
- If John Cena and Christian win, Mr. McMahon must perform a forfeit -
- If The Empire win, John Cena and Christian will join the kiss my ass club -
Triple H, Brock Lesnar, Tyson Tomko, Shane & Vince McMahon
vs. Christian & John Cena

Cruiserweight Championship #1 Contenders Match:
Brian Kendrick vs. Super Crazy

Womens Championship Match:
Melina vs. Alexis Laree

WrestleMania Warm Up Match:
Kurt Angle vs. Kane



Current Card for WWE Wrestle Mania XXIII:
Date: 18th March 2007
Location: Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Event Music: U2 & Green Day; The Saints are Coming & Killers; Sams Town

World Heavyweight Championship Match:
World Heavyweight Champion, John Cena vs.
2007 Royal Rumble Winner, Christian

WWE Championship Match:
WWE Champion, Rob Van Dam vs.
Mr. Money in the Bank, Edge

Money in the Bank Ladder Match:
M.V.P vs. Umaga vs. Chris Jericho vs. Finlay vs. ??? vs. Randy Orton vs. ??? vs. ???

The Irresistible Force vs. The Immovable Object:
Kurt Angle vs. The Undertaker

*Card Subject To Change*
*Match banners to appear from next week on, and are brought to you courtesy of Rocker*


I'll be getting around to reviews starting tomorrow; busy with football tonight. Enjoy.

Last edited by Wolf Beast; 03-11-2009 at 03:13 PM.
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