GWE Dynamite! 03/13/2008 Metro Center, Rockford, Illinois
“Welcome to the Jungle” is blaring through the speakers as we go to a jam packed Metro Center. We see ten thousand rabid GWE fans, holding up signs such as “RVD = Gold”, “Take the next TRAIN home” and “Controversy creates assholes”. We then switch to ringside, to Mike Bucci and Joey Styles!
Only two weeks separate us from the two hour spectacular that is Easter Extravaganza! Hello everybody, I am Joey Styles, alongside Mike Bucci, and tonight, another very exciting episode of GWE Dynamite is ahead of us! Tell us what’s new, Mike!
Joey, Dynamite keeps topping itself week after week and it won’t be any different tonight! We’ve got the finals of the Road to the Gold Tournament on the card tonight! A sheer classic in the making, Joey, with Paul “The Great” Wight taking on Rob Van Dam!
And that’s not all, tonight, we’ve got the debut of Carlito Colon’s very own talk show, Cooling Down With Carlito! The guest is remained a secret for now, however, and we can only guess who that guest might be!
We’ll see soon enough, Joey, it starts right now!
“I spit in the face, of people who don’t want to be cool” And out comes Carlito Colon, wearing a colourful Hawaian shirt, over blue jeans, being his normal cocky self. He struts down the ring, giving the fans at ringside absolutely no attention at all, and so they boo the hell out of him. Inside the ring, we see all kinds of useless stuff set up, such as palm trees, a hammock, some coconuts filled with liquid and a couple of beach chairs, on which microphones are placed. Carlito steps inside and grabs a microphone. The show is about to take off!
Tonight, the most popular show in sports entertainment returns! So welcome to Cooling Down With Carlito!
*No good reception by the crowd. They don’t like Carlito and they don’t like Carlito’s talkshow*
And before I bring my guest out, lemme talk to you about what happened to me the past few weeks. Ever since I joined this company, there has been one man that’s gone out of his way to make me look like a chump. That one clown has embarrassed me week in an’ week out! And it’s about damn time I brought him out here an’ ask him some questions about it! So normally, I would talk about what my guest has accomplished, but in this case, I’ll be skipping that part. So now, I give to you, the man who’s holding everybody back…Rey Mysterio!
“Back to the 619” hits the P.A. system as the fans explode into a huge pop for Rey Mysterio, who comes jumping through the stage! He’s wearing his “neutral” black outfit and takes the time to slap hands with some fans at ringside. He then enters the ring and grabs a microphone, but seemingly waiting for Carlito to talk first.
I have just one question for you, Mysterio. Why do you find pleasure in holding others back? Why do you enjoy pushing talented superstars like Carlito down?
*Huge heat for Carlito*
Listen, man. I don’t know what is going on in your head, or what you hit it with, but you’re crazy, man, you’re crazy!
I beat you in that match fair and square, man. And you have to go all crazy and think I’m holding you back? I’m not holding ANYONE back! I just want to entertain the fans, and give everything I got every week. And if you can’t understand that, it’s your own fault you’re not a top star!
Carlito looks to be fuming, but is able to control his emotions for the time being.
That’s all you can talk about, is your fans! But what everyone wants, is not to see you. You’re old, you’re a has been, a thing from the past! What everyone wants to see is the future and the talent! Everybody wants to see Carlito!
*Large amount of heat*
And it’s about damn time the future replaced the past once an’ for all! So, Rey, I’m challenging you, to a match. A match to end it all! I want your career, Rey and I want to destroy it! Next week! What do you say?
Rey Mysterio lowers his head, clearly thinking over this challenge. He then raises his head, looking around the arena, as he sees the fans almost begging him to accept this match. He then finally brings the mic back to his mouth.
You know something, man? Deeds always speak louder than words…
Mysterio suddenly drops the mic and goes straight for Carlito! The fans go crazy, as Carlito goes down and Mysterio is all over him, hitting lefts and rights to the jaw and forehead of Carlito! Carlito is suddenly able to turn the tables, however, and now it’s Carlito delivering a series of lefts and rights! Carlito picks Mysterio up and the two brawl throughout the entire ring, bringing down the palm trees and hammock, the coconuts and the chairs. Then, all of a sudden, “I’m back” hits and Dynamite General Manager comes out, seemingly frustrated.
That’s enough! Break it up, you two!
Mysterio and Carlito notice, Bischoff and break up their brawl. Bischoff’s the man with authority, no doubt.
Look, the two of you have been meddling with each other’s businesses for long enough! It’s time that the two of you settle this once and for all. So you will indeed have a match. But not tonight and not next week. We’re gonna save this match for Easter Extravaganza! And everybody knows that this will never be settled in just your ordinary singles match, no. Therefore, the two of you will do battle…in a ladder match!
*Big pop for this announcement*
But of course, what will you be climbing for? Well, that’s the beautiful part. You will be fighting, not only to settle your little war, but you’ll be fighting for the brand new ALL-AMERICAN CHAMPIONSHIP!
But until that match, the two of you won’t be laying a finger on one another! And that is final.
“I’m back” hits as Bischoff smiles and we see two confused stars in the middle of the ring, staring at their General Manager. They didn’t expect to be thrown into a title match at Easter Extravaganza, but you can see in their eyes that they’re somewhat pleased a championship will be on the line.
When we return we immediately go to a backstage area, where Steve Romero, GWE’s very own backstage interviewer, is standing by!
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, I am Steve Romero and my guest at this time, he’ll be in the Road-to-the-Gold finals later on, Rob Van Dam.
Van Dam pops into screen to a huge pop from the fans in the arena.
And Rob, tonight in the main event, you’ll be facing Paul “The Great” Wight in the finals of the Road-to-the-Gold Tournament a David vs. Goliath situation no doubt. Do you believe you can beat Paul Wight tonight, Rob, and become number one contender?
Rob Van Dam:
Well, dude, I am Rob Van Dam, The Whole Damn Show, Mister…Thursday Night! If I would think I couldn’t beat Paul Wight, I wouldn’t be standing here, dude. In fact, I wouldn’t have had such an amazing career and I wouldn’t be called the Whole Damn Show.
Rob Van Dam:
And you know something, dude? I have beaten Paul Wight on several occasions in my career. I’ve beaten him in different countries, in different arenas, in all different circumstances, dude. And tonight, we are here, in yet another arena, in other circumstances and I’m gonna beat him again. That’s right!
But Rob, don’t you think that the decisive factor tonight, will be the size difference?
Rob Van Dam:
If there’s one thing I’ve proven over the past 15 years it’s that size doesn’t matter, dude. All I need is a swift kick to that big bald head and I’m on my way to victory again. Because that’s what I am, dude, a winner. Tonight, I’ll prove that once again. And, dude, Steve, I suggest you to grab a television set wherever you can find one tonight and watch the match and I’ll amaze you, I’ll amaze the dudes in the office, I’ll amaze every single fan in the arena, and I’ll amaze Paul Wight himself, dude. Tonight, I’m gonna become number one contender and I’ll show to the entire world and everyone in the arena tonight, including you, Steve, dude, just why they call me the Whole…Damn…Show!
Rob Van Dam leaves the screen to a huge pop from the crowd as we go back to ringside.
And welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, as you just saw, Rob Van Dam means business tonight, Mike!
He sure does, Joey and not only that, but he practically guarantees victory here! Bald words by Van Dam to say the least and when facing a mammoth like Wight, I’m afraid he ain’t gonna be backing them up, Joey!
Well we’ll see what the match brings, it will be the main event for tonight, ladies and gentlemen, but of course, that’s not the only match on the card tonight. Coming up right now is an interesting single’s contest, between Danny Basham and Billy Kidman.
Two excellent athletes, Joey, but even more excellent, The Invaders are barred from ringside!
That’s exactly right, Mike, Eric Bischoff has ordered that The Invaders are barred from ringside and will have to wait till Easter Extravaganza to get their hands on the Basham Brothers!
“You can run” hits the P.A. system as Billy Kidman walks out to a fair pop from the fans. They still know who he is and appreciate his talent, yet he isn’t considered a star, not by a long shot. Kidman slaps some hands at ringside, before sliding into the ring and awaiting his opponent.
“Bald and Nasty” hits as Danny Basham, accompanied by his brother Doug and valet Jillian Hall, makes his way to the ring to a rather big amount of heat. This team is slowly getting over, in a heelish way of course. Only Danny Basham is stepping into the ring, as he’s the one competing. Suddenly, however, Jillian goes ballistic and we see that none other than Kid Kash is sitting in the crowd at ringside! Doug Basham almost jumps over the barricade, as Kid Kash stands up and shows his ticket. Apparently, he bought a ticket to this show and will only be a spectator! Jillian and Doug don’t buy it though and visually warn Kash that they’ll keep their eyes on him!
Danny Basham(w/Jillian Hall and Doug Basham) vs. Billy Kidman
Summary: A back and forth match-up between these two, which appealed to the crowd. Basham dominated the early goings of the contest, keeping Kidman down with a series of clotheslines and shoulderblocks, followed by a huge fisherman suplex. Kidman didn’t stay down, however, as Basham only got the two count. Kidman tried to get back into the match-up with a big dropkick, followed by three consecutive elbow drops. Kidman then got a little too confident and went to the top rope, looking for an early shooting star press. He went for it, but obviously Basham rolled out of the way, sending Kidman crashing and burning to the mat. Basham took full control from hereon out, landing a big leg drop to Kidman’s jaw. Danny picked Kidman up and drilled him down with huge leg lariat, coming off the ropes. Suddenly on the outside, Doug Basham stood by the barricade, facing the audience, shouting something at Kid Kash, who jumped up from his seat and immediately came toward Doug Basham, albeit at the other side of the barricade. Doug Basham was clearly verbally taunting Kash, but suddenly, Doug Basham averted his face, before slapping the hell out of Kid Kash, who nearly fell down! Kash immediately jumped over the barricade, going after Doug Basham, who ran away and slid into the ring. Kidman followed Doug into the ring, but was immediately flattened by Danny Basham with a high impact leg lariat! The referee immediately called for the bell, but the Bashams weren’t through with Kid Kash just yet.
Winner (4:39) No Contest!
The two Basham Brothers approach Kash and have a look in their eyes of pure evil. They finally got what they wanted, one of The Invaders, ready for the beat down of his life. The two men started nailing Kash with quick, but firm boots to the face and upper body, and Kash could do nothing about it. Danny and Doug then simultaneously connected with seated dropkicks to the body of the unfortunate Kid Kash. Suddenly, however, none other than James Gibson came jumping over the barricade, steel chair in hand! Gibson slid into the ring, swinging away at Doug Basham! But Basham quickly ducked and scattered out of the ring, followed by his brother Danny! Gibson points at The Basham Brothers with the chair, before dropping it and attending to his tag team partner, Kid Kash. Meanwhile, The Basham Brothers (still with Jillian) start smiling and motioning that they will become the tag team champions at Easter Extravaganza.
What a heinous act by The Basham Brothers! They just destroyed Kid Kash in the middle of the ring, and for what?
For what? FOR WHAT? Are you blind, Joey? Kid Kash attacked Doug Basham and Danny merely saved his brother. Wouldn’t you do the same? If you wouldn’t, you’d have no heart, Joey, NO HEART!
You’re out of your mind, Mike, plain ‘n simple.
When we come back, we immediately go to General Manager Eric Bischoff’s office. Bischoff is standing in front of his desk, looking straight into the camera, smiling. Next to him is his “client” Matt “The Train” Bloom.
I am standing here right now to send a message to one Hulk Hogan. Hulk, I invited you to come to the ring last week to see Matt Bloom destroy his opponent. But judging by your actions after the match was done made me think that you weren’t impressed by my client here. But that’s why I have another proposal for you. I invite you to come down to the ring again this week. Because in just a matter of minutes, Matt Bloom will be in action yet again. And this time, Hulk Hogan, we promise you that you will be impressed. Because this time, The Train will be plowing not through one, but two superstars, in a two-on-one handicap match! I expect you to be there, Hulk.
Bischoff now turns his attention to Bloom.
Come on, we have two midgets to squash.
Bischoff and Bloom walk away as we go to ringside.
Hello again, ladies and gentlemen, coming up next, as you’ve heard, Matt The Train Bloom will be in action yet again, facing not one, but two of Dynamite superstars. Who those superstars will be, we will find that out in a matter of seconds, as the match is indeed about to start…right now!
“Vrooar, Vrooooaaar” the sound of lawnmowers is heard, and that’s exactly what we see! Juventud Guerrera and Psicosis are making their way to the ring, riding their patented lawnmowers, to a small pop from the crowd. Jobbers don’t usually get over.
And it appears as though The Mexicools will be Matt Bloom’s opponents for tonight. Do you think they stand any chance here tonight, Mike?
Not at all, Joey. Matt Bloom already ran over their Mexican friend last week, and he’ll have no trouble doing the same here tonight. A handicap match, yes. A difficult match, not at all!
The question now is, however, will Hulk Hogan show up or not? Bischoff requested his presence, but will our Chairman be here?
If I were Hogan, I’d stay behind that curtain, Joey, safe and sound. That giant, Matt Bloom, he could break Hogan in half and ruin his chances for Easter Extravaganza, no kidding!
“Bending Tracks” hits the P.A. system as Matt “The Train” Bloom comes out, accompanied by General Manager Eric Bischoff. Matt Bloom looks focused and even a tad angry, while Bischoff is smiling away. The duo makes their way to the ring, being showered in heat, but they don’t care as Bloom steps into the squared circle and Bischoff remains on the outside.
The match isn’t started just yet, as Bischoff is looking at the entrance area. He appears to be waiting for Hulk Hogan, but there is nobody coming out. Isn’t Hogan going to show up? Apparently, not, as after two minutes of waiting, Bischoff turns around and shouts at the timekeeper to ring the bell and start the match.
1-on-2 Handicap Match: Matt “The Train” Bloom vs. The Mexicools
Summary: Even though this was a handicap match, Bloom still destroyed both members of the Mexicools. Juvy and Psicosis immediately stormed at Bloom, but The Train leveled both of them with a huge double clothesline. Bloom then picked up Juvy and threw in the corner with authority, before nailing him with an avalanche splash in the corner! With Juvy out of the equation, Bloom started working on Psicosis, drilling him to the mat with a running powerslam! Bloom wasn’t through with Psicosis just yet, as he picked him up and nailed him with an excruciating Baldo Bomb! At this point, Juvy was up on his feet, but staggering. Bloom noticed this and approached the poor Juventud. Just then, however, everybody in the arena jumped up from their seats in excitement, as Hulk Hogan came out to a thunderous ovation! Hogan walked down to the ring, but stopped at about 7 feet away from the ring. Bischoff started smiling, walking toward Hogan and stopping in front of the entrance ramp. Bischoff was looking to be telling Hogan to “watch and be amazed”. Bischoff then pointed at Bloom, who picked up a dazed Juventud. Bloom whipped him into the ropes and nearly decapitated him with a thunderous big boot! Bloom then roared like an animal, before picking up Psicosis and setting him up for the Train Wreck. Bloom looked at Hogan, held Psicosis in the air with one arm and slit his throat with his free hand, signaling he was going to destroy not only Psicosis tonight, but Hulk Hogan at Easter Extravaganza. Bloom dropped to his knees and nailed Psicosis with his o so devastating Train Wreck! Bloom covered Psicosis and got the easy victory.
Winner(3:01) Matt “The Train” Bloom
Another very easy victory for Matt Bloom here, Mike. Will Hulk Hogan be able to stop him in two weeks at Easter Extravaganza?
Mike Bucci :
That’s a very tough question to answer, Joey, and quite frankly, I can’t answer that for you. I believe Hogan will be pulling out all the stops in two weeks, but whether or not that will be enough, is yet to be seen. And don’t you forget, Joey, Hogan will have to defend against not one, but two superstars, as the winner of our Main Event tonight will also be a part of the Championship match at Double E!
After having his hand raised, Matt Bloom points at Hulk Hogan and apparently invites him into the ring. Hogan is reluctant, but Bischoff suddenly steps aside and motions that Hogan should get in the ring. The Hulkster looks at Bischoff, before looking at Bloom and sliding into the ring! The crowd erupts into a thunderous pop, as Hogan takes off his vest, revealing the Global Championship around his waist! Bloom points at the championship, telling Hogan it’s soon to be his. Hogan appears to be badmouthing Matt Bloom, as Bloom seems to be getting more and more frustrated. The two behemoths are sizing up, showing off their muscle to one another, trying to impress one another (Bloom could just show his back-hair and Hogan would be running off, with his tail between his legs). Suddenly, however, Bischoff is in the ring, behind Hogan, so that the Hulkster can’t see him! Bischoff is having his patented sinister smile on his face. He has some evil intentions here! Suddenly, Bischoff pushes Hogan and Hogan runs straight into Matt Bloom, who clutches his hands around Hogan’s throat! The crowd is almost turning violent, as Bloom lifts Hogan into the air and drills him to the mat with a huge Baldo Bomb, his version of the chokebomb! The fans are going berserk, as we even see some cups of beers flying over the barricade! The stewards manage to get the situation under control though, as “Bending Tracks” hits and Eric Bischoff and Matt Bloom are standing tall over a fallen Hulk Hogan. Bischoff takes the Global Belt off Hogan’s waist and holds it high in the air, before throwing it onto the knocked out champion. Bischoff was a step ahead of Hogan once again.
We see a location that looks like a desert, but with a temple standing in the middle of it. The clouds are dark and a storm is brewing. The temple is far off, but the camera slowly approaches it and we can see a silhouette standing in front of it. The silhouette is of a man, apparently a priest of some sort, wearing a white robe with a large hood. The priest looks straight into the camera and it’s Priest Parisi!
Priest Parisi: Finally! The time has come! The day is finally upon us! Today, “The Divine One” Mark Jindrak will be descending upon the earth! So fall to your knees, put your hands in the air and look up, as your lord and saviour will be coming down to his temple and prepare his sacrilegious entrance into the Global Wrestling Enterprise!
Suddenly, there is a huge thunderbolt hitting the earth and splitting the ground! Parisi is laughing as a huge amount of smoke is filling the area. A lot of smaller thunderbolts are going through the cloud of smoke and we can still hear Parisi laugh. It almost sounds like Ted Dibiase!
As the smoke clears, Priest Parisi isn’t the only one standing in front of the temple anymore. The camera is set on a set of feet and slowly makes its way up. After a few seconds, the camera is up to the unknown man’s face, and it’s clear now that it is none other than “The Divine One” Mark Jindrak himself, who’s standing next to his priest. Both of them are smiling profusely, as Jindrak has finally descended upon planet earth.
Priest Parisi: Feast your eyes and rejoice! For HE is finally where he should be. Very soon, Mark Jindrak will show off his god-like strength, his superhuman speed and his divine appearance, as he is coming to the Global Wrestling Enterprise for one reason and one reason only…to smite ANYONE that stands in his way. So watch out, superstars, men in the office, fans all around the world…for the Divine One…is coming!
Parisi and Jindrak laugh simultaneously as the screen fades to black and the following text flashes the screen:
“The Divine One” is coming to Dynamite! 2 Weeks!
Mark Jindrak is coming to Dynamite in two weeks! But more importantly, Rob Van Dam will battle Paul “The Great” Wight for the number one contendership and it’s next!
And welcome back to Dynamite, folks, it is now time for our Main Event! The Road-to-the-Gold Tournament comes to a spectacular end tonight, as Rob Van Dam will be battling it out with Paul Wight in the finals! Who do you think will come out on top, Mike?
It is really really hard to tell, Joey, but I’ll have to go with the size difference here. Because after all, according to Wight, size DOES matter!
“Big” hits the P.A. system as Paul “ The Great” Wight steps onto the stage to a huge pop from the crowd! He salutes the fans, raising his giant right paw, before moving toward the ring, eating up the crowd’s reception. He crawls over the top rope and awaits his opponent.
“Walk” hits and Rob Van Dam comes out to an ENORMOUS pop from the fans. Wight is loved, but RVD is clearly the fan favourite! He does his patented R-V-D taunt, before walking towards the ring and high fiving some fans at ringside. He slides into the ringside and this huge Main Event is about to get underway!
Road-to-the-Gold Tournament FINALS: Paul “The Great” Wight vs. Rob Van Dam
Summary: A match worthy of being in the main event right here. The crowd was red hot, and the two superstars involved made sure the fans were in for one hell of a ride! Paul Wight dominated in the early goings, using his size to his advantage. Wight kept Van Dam down jabbing Mister Thursday Night with huge rights and a couple of clotheslines. Van Dam didn’t look too well in the beginning, as Wight nearly won the match after a minute, following a big boot! Van Dam kicked out though and tried to get back in the match, after he countered a clothesline attempt, with a step up enzuigiri. The crowd got excited, as Van Dam slowly got into this big profile match. Van Dam started lunging at Wight with lefts and rights, but Wight wanted nothing of it, shoving Van Dam off. Van Dam, resilient as he was, came right back at Wight and unloaded with a plethora of rights and lefts, but still Wight was hardly affected, and he picked up Van Dam and threw him into the corner. When he wanted to lash out at Van Dam, however, RVD ducked under Wight and caused Wight to fall into the corner. Van Dam started to unleash at Wight, hitting numerous rights and lefts, as well as kicks and knees, and it looked like Wight was finally giving in, a little. Van Dam saw this as a sign to go on and so he did, nailing Wight with punches and kicks at an even faster rate! The crowd ate it up, as Wight was showing signs of slow defeat already! Van Dam got too cocky however, and he went for the monkey flip! He didn’t have the strength to flip Wight over though and Wight used his strength to pick Van Dam up and nail him with a huge clothesline. Wight went for the cover, but only got the two count!
The match continued at a slightly slower pace, with Wight in control once again. Wight used his powerful kicks and mainly right hands to dominate RVD, and he even used a rare submission manoeuvre, locking in the Bear Hug! RVD slowly dozed out and the ref checked if he was knocked out completely! The ref raised his hand once, and it dropped. He raised it a second time and it dropped! The majority of the crowd was already fearing a loss by submission, but when the ref raised RVD’s hand a third time, it didn’t drop and RVD was still in this match! Van Dam started hitting Wight with stiff rights to the jaw and followed up with three consecutive headbutts, finally releasing himself from the hold! Van Dam, driving on the cheers from his fans, ran in the ropes and nailed Wight with a high impact dropkick, sending Wight down for the first time in this match-up! The crowd erupted, even though they don’t have anything against Wight. But when he’s facing Van Dam, he’s got to accept Van Dam is the bigger crowd-pleaser. Van Dam ran into the ropes and went for Rolling Thunder, but Wight quickly(or as quick as a man his size can) got up on one knee and clenched his hand around Van Dam’s throat! Wight got up on both feet and had Van Dam scouted for the Chokeslam! Wight hoisted Van Dam up in the air, but RVD jumped out of the hold and quickly sent “The Great Wight” down with a swift leg sweep! Van Dam ran in the ropes and nailed a picture perfect Rolling Thunder! Van Dam jumped up as the fans went crazy! Van Dam went to the corner and jumped up on the top turnbuckle, scouting Wight for his patented Frog Splash, the Five Star version! Van Dam leaped up in the air and nailed the Five Star Frog Splash! The roof was blown off the joint, as Van Dam hooked Wight’s enormous leg and the ref counted the one…two…three!
Winner and NEW Number One Contender (9:15) ROB VAN DAM!!!
It’s over! What an unbelievable match we just witnessed here! Rob Van Dam pulled out everything he had and prevailed in what was without a doubt one of the best matches in Dynamite history!
It was awe-inspiring, Joey! Paul Wight, he went for the Chokeslam, but Van Dam wanted nothing of it and nailed the Frog Splash! A truly deserved victory here and Rob Van Dam is the illustrious winner of the Road-to-the-Gold Tournament, Joey! How bout that?
A well deserved winner of this great tournament, Mike, which saw a lot of great matches, and a truly fantastic final! And this means that the main event at Easter Extravaganza will be Hulk Hogan, defending his Global Championship against Matt Bloom and Rob Van Dam! Ladies and gentlemen, this was another great episode of Dynamite, no doubt! For Mike Bucci, I’m Joey Styles, good night, everybody!
We see Rob Van Dam celebrating his tremendous victory on all four turnbuckles, doing his signature R-V-D taunt, before stepping to the middle of the ring, looking around the ring and rubbing his waist from inside to outside, motioning he will be the next GWE Global Champion! The fans go absolutely bananas as Van Dam is standing tall and the show comes to a close.
GWE Dynamite! presents: Easter Extravaganza!
GWE Global Championship
Hulk Hogan(c) vs. Matt "The Train" Bloom vs. Rob Van Dam
Global Tag Team Championships
The Basham Brothers(w/Jillian Hall) vs. The Invaders
Carlito Colon vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.
"The Divine One" Mark Jindrak(w/Priest Parisi) debuts!