My friend that I mentioned is in the same boat, except her (formerly his) parents have pretty much laid the law down, stating "you get reassignment surgery, put on a dress or do anything like that, we're disowning you." Unfortunately, she isn't in a position to live on her own, since she's still in college. So when she, and some other friends and I, get together, we try to use the correct verbiage (her instead of him, she instead of he, etc) and encourage her to be herself. If she wants to wear a nightgown, go for it. Her parents would throw her out if they caught her, so at least at the apartment of some other friends of ours, she can go there and actually be herself.
I don't want to overstep my boundaries, and if you're not cool talking about it that's alright, but have you had reassignment surgery? If not, do you ever plan to? If yes, how has the transition been?