Re: Forever-Delayed and Kane01 Do WWE
Just before i post the show, i just thought i'd mention that i personally feel that this is the best Raw that i have ever written, and is possibly one of the best 2 hours that you could see, with it being non-stop action throughout the show. Hope you all like it, as i think this show is excellent
WWE RAW – February 27th
The pyro goes off and Raw is on the air, and the crowd are going wild, as one of the biggest Raw’s of the year is about to begin. JR and the King welcome us to the show, and they run down the main action for tonight, with the funeral for John Cena’s career, and the two semi final matches in HHH vs. The Undertaker and Shawn Michaels vs. Christian.
Then,
*I Am* hits, and out comes AJ Styles to a nice pop from the crowd as we are going to open the show with an Intercontinental Title match
Then,
*Aint no stopping me now* hits, and Shelton Benjamin comes out to quite a bit of heat to challenge fro the title, and he comes down in a cocky fashion, convinced he can get the win and the title tonight
Match 1 – AJ Styles © vs. Shelton Benjamin – Intercontinental Title
Summary – The first half of the match is a very exciting opening to Raw with their being constant high spots, with both men doing all they can do eliminate the other and to get the title. AJ nails the shooting star off the top rope to Shelton on the outside for instance, and Shelton hits a sunset flip off the apron to AJ. AJ almost gets the 3 with the pele kick, but Shelton gets a foot on the ropes, and then he goes for the suplex, only to have Shelton counter with the neckbreaker. Shelton then goes for the stinger splash, but he gets the referee instead, knocking him down and out. AJ hits the Styles Clash on Shelton, but there is no ref to make the cover. CHRIS MASTERS then comes down to the ring, and he goes after AJ Styles, and he locks the Masterlock in on him, and AJ appears to be fading and about to pass out, when CHARLIE HAAS comes down for the save, looking to get revenge for his defeat last week. Shelton then manages to pick up the IC title belt, and he goes to nail AJ with it, but MATT HARDY comes down, and takes the belt off Shelton, and nails him with the twist of fate. AJ crawls over to make the cover, but there is still no referee. Hardy goes to wake the referee up, so he can make the cover, but while he does so, GREGORY HELMS nails AJ over the head with the title belt, knocking him out. Helms then pulls Hardy out of the ring, while the referee recovers, and makes the 3 count, as Shelton has got an arm over AJ
Shelton Benjamin wins by pinfall and is the new Intercontinental Champion at 13:37
The crowd boo as Shelton is proclaimed the champion, and is given the belt, and he groggily makes it to his feet to celebrate with the belt. AJ looks pissed and being screwed out of the title, while Hardy looks unhappy that his friend has lost the belt as well. Masters smiles and the fact he has got revenge on AJ
Then,
*I’m Back* hits, and out comes Eric Bischoff to the ring, to a lot of heat from the fans
Eric: I’m going to keep this announcement brief, because I don’t want to have to stand out here in front of you assholes for longer than I have to
Huge heat
Eric: But it seems that you 6 men in the ring have an issue with each other than needs to be solved. And it seems that this issue revolves around the intercontinental championship. So what I am going to do is put you 6 in a match for the intercontinental title at Wrestlemania…
Pop
Eric: It’s going to be Shelton Benjamin, defending his title against AJ Styles, Charlie Haas, Chris Masters, Matt Hardy and Gregory Helms
Pop
Eric: Oh, and it’s going to be in a ladder match
Huge pop
Eric: But you see, the intercontinental title will not be the only thing that is up for grabs in that match. Oh no, because also hanging above the ring will be the money in the bank contract
Pop
Eric: The first man to reclaim the intercontinental title belt becomes the intercontinental champion, and the first man to reclaim the money in the bank contract becomes Mr. money in the bank
Pop
Eric: Now that is a match that you will all want to see happen at Wrestlemania, and shows you why Raw is the dominant brand in the WWE
Pop
Eric: And next week, next week, Gregory Helms will face Matt Hardy, while AJ Styles will face Shelton Benjamin, and Charlie Haas will face Chris Masters
Pop
Eric: Now I’m out of here, because I’ve got a funeral to prepare for!
Huge heat, with the reminder of the John Cena funeral later tonight
Eric Bishcoff then leaves to go backstage, to a lot of heat from the crowd, while the 6 men in the ring stand with a smile on their face, knowing they have a chance to win the IC title and the MITB match at Wrestlemania, except Shelton Benjmain who is horrified that he already has to defend his newly won title. The commentators then talk about what a great match there is planned for Wrestlemania, and how it could steal the show with all the great wrestlers in the match
Commercial
We return, and then,
*Time to Play the Game* hits, to a lot of heat from the crowd, as HHH makes his way out to the ring. He comes out slowly, with the bottle of water in his hand, and spits it into the air, before coming into the ring, ready for his match where he has the chance to go to the Road to Wrestlemania finals
Then,
*Graveyard Symphony* hits, as the lights go out to a huge pop, as the Undertaker comes out, slowly but surely, and makes his way to the ring, ready for his chance to go to Wrestlemania
Match 2 – Triple H vs. The Undertaker – Road to Wrestlemania Semi Final
Summary – A longish match here, with Taker actually contributing to a match on Raw for once, and doing his traditional wrestle once in a while stuff, but puts on a good match. We get a strong match between them, which is dominated by brawling but they have enough experience to match sure that the match is good. Taker stands the match by taking HHH down, but HHH manages to fight back, and after cheating again and again, he finally manages to take Taker down and works on his knee, as a way of stopping Taker from standing up and being able to compete. However, HHH doesn’t manage to finish Taker off, and he does eventually manage to get back to his feet and fight back in the match, but the chokeslam isn’t enough as HHH gets his foot on the ropes. He then goes for the Last Ride, but HHH rakes the eyes of Taker, and then goes for the pedigree, only for Taker to counter it with the slingslot into the referee, knocking him down and out. Taker goes for another chokeslam, but HHH nails the low blow, and then the pedigree but there is no referee. He tries to wake the referee up, but Taker sits up, to a huge pop, which sends HHH scurrying out of the ring, and he picks up the sledgehammer. However, RVD RUNS INTO THE RING, THROWS THE CHAIR TO TAKER, AND NAILS THE VAN DAMNINATOR TO HIM. The crowd boo RVD, who then starts to nail Taker with the chair time and time again, focusing on the knee that HHH worked on earlier tonight, while HHH is shocked outside the ring. HHH slides back in, as the referee stirs, and covers Taker, and gets the 3 count
Triple H wins by pinfall at 16:38
The crowd boo, as HHH has gotten the win over Taker, and now is in the final of the Road to Wrestlemania tournament, and will face off wither Christian or Shawn Michaels in the final next week. RVD then slides back into the ring and he continues his attack on The Undertaker, damaging the left knee of him, and soaking up a lot of heat that he is getting from the crowd. RVD then takes a microphone, and starts to speak
RVD: …. (soaks up the boos)
RVD: I guess you people here tonight aren’t too happy about what I’ve just done?
Heat
RVD: I guess you people are going to boo me now for what I’ve done to the Undertaker
Heat
RVD: Well guess what? I don’t give a damn about what you, or you (pointing at people in the crowd), or you, or any of the morons inside this arena think
Heat
RVD: All that matters to me, is what I think and what I want, and after years of playing up to you lot, I’ve finally decided to say “screw it”, and go back to the old Rob Van Dam
Heat
RVD: I’ve gone back to being the RVD who doesn’t give a damn about anyone but himself, the RVD who puts titles and victories above respect and cheers from the fans. I’m going to be the RVD who held the ECW TV title for 23 straight months, and never once, never once looked like losing the title.
Heat
RVD: I’m the man who came to the WWE in 2001 and didn’t care who I rubbed up the wrong way, didn’t care which so-called superstar I came across, because deep down, I know that I am so much better than them
Heat
RVD: What I’ve been for the last few years is a joke, a pathetic, pale imitation of who I can be. I’ve been a nothing, happy to settle for second best, all because of doing that got me a few cheers from the crowd, and I had a few people chant my name. And I had to think to myself, why the hell would I be happy with that?
Heat
RVD: And last Monday night, that was the final straw which broke the camel’s back. I lost my chance to go to Wrestlemania and become the WWE Champion because of the fans.
Heat
RVD: So why did I attack the Undertaker I guess you all want to know? Here’s an answer for all of you, because of the fans
Heat
RVD: I mean, I sacrifice myself for all of you, and then last week, you cheered for the Undertaker over me, and that made me sick, it disgusted me, and made me totally realise that I would be better off without you
Heat
RVD: And Taker, last week, you and the morons who cheer for you got you the asskicking that you have just endured. They are the reason why I took a steel chair, and bashed it against your knee time and time again, until there is nothing left of it.
Heat
RVD: And Taker, last week you took away my dreams of going to Wrestlemania and becoming the WWE Champion, so this week, the new and improved Rob Van Dam took away yours
Heat
RVD: This Rob Van Dam is more extreme than ever, this Rob Van Dam is the man who can rightfully claim to be the whole damn show. And this Rob Van Dam is the man who will finally be the one who beat you at Wrestlemania
Heat
RVD: Yeah, that’s right, I’m going to challenge you to a match at Wrestlemania, and break your dreams of keeping the undefeated streak alive.
Heat
RVD: Because trust me Taker, after you’ve dealt with me, you streak will be as dead as you are
Heat
RVD: and…
*Extreme* then hits, to a surprisingly large pop, as Paul Heyman comes out and returns to the WWE for the first time since Survivor Series. He comes down to the ring, glaring straight at RVD, and he makes his way down to the ring
Paul: Rob Van Dam, what the hell are you doing?
Pop
Paul: This isn’t the man I used to spend time in ECW with. This isn’t the man who I consider to be one of my best friends in the world. This isn’t the man who I made into the bets entertainer in wrestling history. Please Rob, explain to me, what the hell has gotten into you?
Pop
RVD: Paul… firstly, great to see you back in a WWE ring. And secondly, I’m sorry, but this is the way that it has to be
Heat
Paul: You’re sorry? Sorry for what exactly? You’re sorry for turning on the fans who cheered for you night after night? You’re sorry for costing the Undertaker his chance and going to Wrestlemania? You’re sorry for not being the man who were the last time I saw you at Survivor Series? You’re sorry for what?
Huge pop
RVD: I’m sorry… I’m sorry for not doing this sooner than I did.
Heat
RVD: Paul, I respect you man, but come on, even you must realise that I got nowhere with the fans behind me. And I don’t care what you have to say to me Paul, but this is who I am, this is what I do, and there is nothing that you can possibly say to change that
Heat
Paul: Oh really? Well Rob, I think you ought to listen to what I have to say. You see, I agree with every single word that you said earlier tonight
Some boos are heard from the fans
Paul: And Rob, I’m right behind you in everything you do
Heat from the crowd, as RVD and Heyman lock eyes, and then shake hands in the middle of the ring, to huge amounts of heat
Paul: Rob Van Dam, Paul Heyman on the same page… now that is a combination that will take anyone, and I mean anyone to the extreme!
Huge heat, as RVD and Heyman raise their hands in the middle of the ring, and then they start to leave the ring, but Heyman then takes the microphone again
Paul: Oh one more thing… get a referee down here, as we are about to have a hardcore title match. Snitsky will defend his title against Rob Van Dam, and there is nothing that anyone can do to stop me making this match. And this match will show you how extreme RVD is going to be
*It Wasn’t My Fault* this, to a good pop from the crowd, as Snitsky comes out for this impromptu hardcore title match, and he is still in his street clothes, as he wasn’t expecting to be wrestling this evening. He comes down to the ring, but RVD attacks him straight away, as the match begins.
Match 3 – Rob Van Dam w/Paul Heyman vs. Gene Snitsky © – Hardcore Title
Summary – This is a short match, with RVD dominating from the beginning, and showing his hardcore ways which he learned in ECW. Snitsky hardly manages to get a shot it in the match, and RVD quickly gets into a position where he can win the belt. He nails Snitsky with the rolling thunder onto a trash can, and then he nails him over the head with a steel chair, knocking him out in the ring. He then places the chair over Snitsky, and nails the 5 star frog splash to him, and pins him, and is the new Hardcore champion
Rob Van Dam wins by pinfall and is the new hardcore champion at 3:38
RVD is given the belt by Heyman, and the two of them celebrate in the ring, and soak up the boos from the crowd after the actions of RVD earlier tonight
Commercial
We return, and we see Mohammed Hassan and Daivari in a room somewhere backstage, and they get a huge amount of heat from the crowd.
Hassan: Last week, last week Eric Bischoff told me to go an make an impact, and on Smackdown, that is exactly what I did! I turned up, and I gave the Rock the single biggest asskicking the he has ever received! But just in case you missed this act of my greatness, show the footage!
After the match the Rock starts celebrating his huge victory, he climbs onto the middle turnbuckle and taunts to the crowd raising his arm in the air. But then he is attacked from behind with some right hands, they don’t affect Rock one bit however and he turns around to see DAVAIRI!! Davairi looks scared as Rock starts walking towards him and he quickly scurries out of the ring just as the Rock was about to attack him. Rock then follows him out the ring and chases him all the way down the ramp, and Davairi leads him straight into a STEEL CHAIR SHOT BY MUHAMMED HASSAN! Hassan then hits another chair shot to Rock over the head taking him down and busting the Rock wide open. Hassan then continues to smash the steel chair over the throat of the Rock as Davairi tells Hassan to hit Rock more in Arabic as blood pours down the face of Rock. Referee’s and road agents try to take Hassan away but he hits a few of them with a chair causing the rest to back away. Hassan then digs the chair into the throat of Rock before dropping the chair as the crowd give Hassan some huge heat. It looks like Hassan has stopped his attack, but he goes straight after Rock again and locks on the Camel Clutch onto Rock on the ramp. The referee’s and road agents try to get Hassan to break it, but he keeps it on for about 40 seconds before letting go of Rock and walking down to the back with Davairi looking very happy about the damage he has just caused as stretches are brought onto the ramp as the bloody Rock is left unconscious on the ramp.
Hassan: Rock, what you received on Smackdown was justice, justice for all the treatment that I have had to put up with in America for the last few years, because of people like you. People like you who believe that they have a divine right to steal the spotlight from those, like me, who deserve.
Case in point, you come back to the WWE at Summerslam because no-one likes your pathetic movies, and since then, you have had more title shots then I have had in my whole career. At the Royal Rumble, you lost to Edge, but 5 days later, who get another title shot. How is that fair??? And me??? I’ve never lost a match in career. I’ve never been pinned, I’ve never tapped out, and yet, I’ve never been given a one on one match for the WWE title. Hell, I’ve never even had a shot at title! And why? All because I am an Arab-American! And Arab-American who has had to put up with the prejudice and the disrespect from the people like the Rock, simply because they believe that they are better than me.
But no longer will me and Daivari allow this to happen. And Rocky, you may have the people’s elbow, the people’s eyebrow, but what you will get is an asskicking for the people who do not give me the treatment that I deserve, that I command, and that I respect!
So Rock, let that be a lesson to you, that you do not disrespect me like you did at the Royal Rumble, and you do not hold me down the way you have been. And let that beating you receive show you that I am the Great Mohammed Hassan!!!
We then cut back to the ring, and we see the commentators discuss what they have just heard from Hassan, and say the beatdown the Rock received was not justified
Then,
*Medal* hits, and out to the ring comes Kurt Angle, to a huge amount of heat from the crowd, as he makes his way down to the ring to the usual “you suck” chants. He gets into the ring, and he awaits his special, handpicked opponent for tonight to show everyone what is in store for Rey Mysterio at Wrestlemania
Then,
*619* hits, and a huge pop goes out, as the crowd think that Rey Mysterio is going to be the man that Angle has chosen to face, but the cheers turn to boos when they realise that this isn’t the real Rey Mysterio, and is just an imposter
Match 4 – Kurt Angle vs. “Rey Mysterio”
Summary – A short match here, if you could even call it a match at all, as basically, it is just Kurt Angle beating down his opponent, who is supposedly Rey Mysterio, even though it is clearly just someone in a mask. Kurt just dominates totally, nailing all of his signature moves, just to show Rey what he can do, but he doesn’t end the match quickly, with Rey managing to “kick out” on 2 of all of the pinfall attempts. Eventually, Kurt gets bored of beating his opponent down, and he nails the Angle Slam, and then locks in the ankle lock, and “Rey” has to tap out, giving Angle the win
Kurt Angle wins by submission at 4:47
Angle celebrates the win, as if he has really beaten Rey Mysterio, and the commentators talk about how easy Angle made that look, and how he is really focused on getting a win over Rey at Wrestlemania
Commercial
We return from commercial, and then JR and the King recount what we have seen so far tonight, with HHH beating the Undertaker due to Rob Van Dam, who was joined by Paul Heyman, and the announcement of the MITB/IC title match for Wrestlemania
Then, we cut to a viginette, which announces who the first inductee into the 2006 Hall of Fame will be, and this man is revealed to be ‘The Macho Man’ Rady Savage. This announcement gets a good pop from the crowd, and we are then told that the next inductee will be announced on Smackdown
Then,
*Sexy Boy* hits, to a huge amount of heat from the crowd, as Shawn Michaels comes out for his semi-final match against Christian. He makes his usual entrance to the ring, and enters it, looking ready for his match tonight
Then,
*Just Close Your Eyes* hits, to a big pop from the crowd, as Christian comes out to the ring, alongside Tyson Tomko, and they make their way to out in their usual fashion, with Christian playing to the crowd, with both men knowing that if Christian wins he gets to face HHH next week for a main event slot at Wrestlemania
Match 5 – Christian w/Tyson Tomko vs. Shawn Michaels – Road to Wrestlemania Semi Final
Summary – As you would expect from these two, we get a good match between them, and is of the similar standard to the matches that they had last year at Unforgiven and then the show before Taboo Tuesday, only this time HBK is the heel, and Christian the face. It is a long match, going 20+ minutes, which gives them both a chance to show what they can do in the ring, especially Christian is comes out of the match looking quite good. He gets beaten down by HBK through the middle part, but the reverse tornado ddt off the top rope changes the tide of the match, and puts Christian back in control. He then scores some near falls with the reverse ddt, the flying crossbody and then the top rope splash, but he cannot get the three. He goes for the unprettier, but HBK pushes Christian away, and then nails the flying burrito, and starts his 5 moves of doom. He hits them all, but only gets a 2 count off the elbow drop, which infuriates HBK. He then goes for the SCM, and he connects with it to Christian, and covers, but *Hitman* hits, distracting Shawn Michaels, and causing him to stare at the titantron, but nothing happens. HBK covers again, and gets a 2 count, when Tomko pulls the referee out of the ring, to a big pop from the crowd. Tomko then walks towards the crowd looking all innocent as HBK comes after him, but Tomko then runs away around the edge of the ring, with HBK in tow chasing. He runs into the ring, where Christian then takes down HBK with the unprettier, and coves, and gets the 3 count to win the match
Christian wins by pinfall at 21:29
The crowd erupt as Christian gets the win and will now face HHH in the final next week, with the winner facing Jericho at Wrestlemania. Tomko and Christian smile at what has happened, and the crowd are loving it. Christian then goes to get a microphone, to speak to the ring
However,
*5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Break the Walls Down* hits, and out comes Chris Jericho, getting a lot of heat from the crowd, as he comes out with his title belt around his waist. He grabs a microphone, and then enters the ring, ready to confront Christian
Jericho: Congratulations Christian, but before I say what I have to, I think all these Jerichoholics here is Boston need to know that Raw is Jericho!
Heat
Jericho: And congratulations, and I really mean that, as you are now just one step away from facing me at Wrestlemania, one step away from facing the greatest WWE Champion of all time
Heat
Jericho: And next week Christian, when you face Triple H, I’ll be rooting for you. Yeah, that’s right, I’ll be cheering for the little guy, the man who brings a goat to the ring with him, the man who walks around backstage with his girlfriend whose IQ is less than that of all you people right here, in Boston put together
Huge heat for the attack on the crowd
Jericho: Christian, why I do I want you do win next week? Because everyone knows that if I have to face you, then the only person who can possibly come out on top is the lead singer of the greatest rock band of all time, and that would be me!
Heat
Jericho: I mean, if I have to face Triple H, then fine, I’ll face him, and beat him, but he’d be a damn site tougher than you would have to be, and frankly, I don’t really need to be dealing with all these distractions as the champion. You see Christian, I’ve beaten you so many times before it just isn’t funny anymore. In fact, I think I’ve beaten you more times than the home town boy John Cena, and that is a lot!
Heat
Jericho: In fact, I took this title at Summerslam, remember, in the triple threat cage match with you, me and Cena, and that match was just so easy to win against a man who can’t wrestle, and a man who is only popular because he occasionally makes some funny comments
Heat
Jericho: And that’s all you are really Christian, isn’t it? A bit of a joke.
Heat
Jericho: I mean, when people think of me, they think of me being the first undisputed champion in the history of the wrestling world. They think of a man who has sold out 20,000 seated stadiums and is a huge rock start with Fozzy. They think of the man who has the greatest talk show in the history of time. And they think of the man who has held this title since Summerslam, has beaten every single person that has been thrown at me, and is the reason that millions of viewers are tuning in right now
Heat
Jericho: And you? They think of a man known best for the fact he has never achieved anything, other than a lame promo with Tomko and Maria, who incidentally, are a lot funnier than you are
Heat
Jericho: So good luck against Triple H, and to take your choice of words, I really hope you win, because that’s how you roll!
Heat
Christian: My God, that was worse than having to listen to one of your records Jericho
Pop
Christian: I mean, you really do like the sound of your own voice, don’t you?
Pop
Christian: And you say I’ve achieved nothing? Wrestlemania 20!
Pop
Christian: You remember that do you? You know, when I pinned your ass in the middle of the ring, 1, 2, 3. Or maybe you remember it for the fact I stole your girl from you, and made you look the, how would you phrase it… jackass that you are
Pop
Christian: But thanks for wishing me luck for next week, and trust me, I will beating Triple H once again next week, and I will go on to Wrestlemania to challenge you for the title. And I will give you, and all these people something to known me by, and that will be a picture of me, holding up the WWE Title in the middle of the ring, after kicking your ass all the way across Chicago
Pop
Christian: And that’s, that’s how I roll!
Huge pop, which quickly turns to boos, as HHH comes through the crowd and nails Christian in the back of the head, as he starts a beatdown on him, as Jericho joins in on the attack. HHH nails Christian with the pedigree in the middle of the ring, as the crowd boo this, and Jericho smiles, as if to say everything he was saying is true. Jericho then looks as HHH, and then turns around to exit the ring, only to have Shawn Michaels blast him with the sweet chin music, and then HHH to lay out Jericho with the pedigree in the middle of the ring. The crowd boo, as HHH picks up the title belt, and holds it in his hands, as if to say that this title will be his again, as
*King of Kings* hits, while HHH stands tall over both Christian and Jericho in the middle of the ring
Commercial
We return from the commercial break, and we see Triple H and Shawn Michaels walking backstage, smiling after leaving Christian and Jericho lying out in the middle of the ring. They walk along, when Todd Grisham approaches them
Todd: Triple H, Shawn Michaels, can I just get a quick word with you?
Triple H: Um…jeez… I don’t know about this one. Shawn? What do’ ya think?
Shawn: I don’t know really, because, I mean, what are we going to gain from speaking to someone who probably can’t tie his shoelaces yet?
Triple H: Your right there Shawn, but do you want, I think we should give him a shot and see what he has to say
Shawn: I’m not sure… but… seeing as it is Christmas, why not?
Triple H: Shawn, it ain’t Christmas
Shawn: It’s a figure of speech
Todd: Firstly, I was going to ask Shawn about his reaction to Bret Hart’s music being played in the middle of his match with Christian earlier tonight, which in a way cost him his place in the Road to Wrestlemania tournament?
Shawn: You want to know my reaction to that Todd? How do you think I’m going to react? Well guess what Todd, I’m not particularly pleased about what just happened to me. I mean, I had a chance to go to Wrestlemania and become the WWE Champion, but now, because of Bret Hart, I don’t have that opportunity. But on the other hand, I’m absolutely delighted about it, because it means that Bret Hart is finally taking my offer of a Wrestlemania match seriously. He keeps getting involved in my business, which tells me that he wants this match just as much as I do
Triple H: But he hasn’t said yes yet, has he Shawn?
Shawn: You know what Hunter, your damn right about that. Why hasn’t he said yes yet? Bret, I know you want this match with me at Wrestlemania, so I’m going to reiterate what I have said before. The challenge is there, all you have to do is say yes. You don’t even have to show up in a WWE ring, you don’t have to come and sign some kind of contract. All you have to do is accept the challenge, and the match is there. And we all know, that you want this match to happen
Todd: And Triple H, I was going to ask you about your match with Christian next week, where the winner goes on to face Chris Jericho for the WWE Title at Wrestlemania
Triple H: Todd, did you not just see what happened out there? Did you not see me lay out Christian and Chris Jericho with a pedigree in the middle of the ring? Because if you did, you know exactly what is going to happen next week. So Christian may be bragging that he got a few lucky wins over me, but next week, when it really counts, I will be the one who claims the victory. And Christian, Jericho was right when he said he hopes you win the match next week, because he knows that if I win next week, and go to Wrestlemania, his reign with the title will be over, and I will take the title off him, just like I did at Wrestlemania 18. Christian, next week you will get the single biggest ass kicking of your lifetime, because nobody gets in the way of me getting my title shot at Wrestlemania. And Christian, you will find out once again, that I am the Game, I am the King of Kings, and I am just that damn good!
Todd: And are you worried about the comments thay John Bradshaw Layfield has been making about you on Smackdown?
Triple H: Worried? I don't know the meaning of the word. JBL can run his mouth all he likes, but let's face it, everyone knows that I am a bigger superstar than he will ever be. Everyone knows that when I want to, I can go to Smackdown and give him the single biggest asskicking that America has ever seen. And everyone knows that JBL is the one who is scared of me.
Triple H: Well JBL challenged me to come to Smackdown, and jeez, have you seen the guy on the show recently. I mean, 2 weeks ago we appeared on the titantron, and frankly, that almost gave him a corony. So when I do decide to go to Smackdown, I don't think that he is going to be able to survive, just like Ric Flair didn't survive me, and just like Christian won't survive me in the Road to Wrestlemania tournament final next week.
Triple H: And JBL, you can talk all you want about what you've done, but that isn't a patch on any of the achievements that I have ever had in this company, and while I am a future hall of famer, in 5 years time no-oner will even remember who you are! And if you ever get in my way, ever cross my path, hell, even if I decide to turn up on your home turf, for JBL, it will be Game Over!
HHH and HBK then walk off, but we can still here them talking
Shawn: You still going to Washington this week?
Triple H: Do you really need to ask?
Shawn: Didn’t think so really, but, can I come along with you?
Triple H: Of course you can. I mean, two heads are better than one
Shawn: Oh, and can we make some kind of stop off in Canada on the way back?
Triple H: Canada? What the hell is your obsession with that place?
Shawn: It’s just that I have to pay a visit to and ‘old friend’ of mine, and you know, just see how he and his family are getting on for instance.
Triple H: You know what, that sounds like a good idea. Just out of interest, do I know this ‘old friend’ of yours?
Shawn: I may of mentioned him before… but I think it’s time for the Heartbreak Kid to go and break some hearts
The camera then cuts back to JR and The King, who discuss what HHH and HBK have just been discussing, and then they mention that Washington is where Smackdown comes from this week, so maybe HHH will show up on Smackdown.
Commercial
*I’m Back* hits, and out to the ring comes Eric Bischoff, drawing a huge amount of heat, as they know what is coming now. He strolls down to the ring, with a very serious expression on his face, as he looks at the set up in the ring. He enters the ring, and he takes a microphone, and he stands at the podium
Eric: Tonight, we are all gathered to hear the commemorate the passing of the career of John Cena
Heat
Eric: But before I lay this wreath in the middle of the ring, I feel that as the Raw general manager, it is my duty to say a few words on his behalf. Ever since I drafted John Cena to Raw just under a year ago, the two of us haven’t really seen eye to eye. I had my way of doing things, and he had his. He was a carefree man, a man who did exactly as he wanted, when he wanted, and how he wanted.
Pop
Eric: But John Cena didn’t know when to stop with his childish antics, and act like a real man
Heat
Eric: I have no problem with people messing around, cracking a few jokes, and making the Raw locker-room a good, enjoyable place to be. But John Cena wasn’t one of those boys in the back who would join in with the games that I would play. John Cena didn’t want to sit in the back with me and share a beer, John Cena didn’t want anything to do with me
Pop
Eric: You see, John Cena was too busy playing up to fans, just like you suckers right here in Boston, Massachusettes;
Heat for the insult of the town and the people
Eric: John Cena was too busy trying to look ‘cool’ and ‘hip’ with his 5 knuckle shuffle and his Vanilla Ice impressions to ever truly be one of the lads in the back. And John Cena didn’t like the fact I confronted him about this. I knew he was a big star, I knew he could be the next Stone Cold Steve Austin…
Bischoff laughs to himself, while the crowd boo for the name of Austin
Eric: I knew that Cena could be the next superstar, so I offered to guide him to that position. I gave him a shot at being the man that Raw would be built around. I went out of my way to make John Cena a star. And what did he do? What did the son of a bitch do? He told me where I could stick my offer with two letters, F-U!
Huge pop from the crowd, for Cena turning Eric down
Eric: He crossed the line, and John Cena paid the ultimate price for it. Just like I did to the WWE when I ran WCW, I made him my number 1 target. I made it my goal to destroy him. I set about ending the career of John Cena. And do you know what? I succeeded!
Huge amounts of heat
Eric: Cena, where are you now, huh? Where are you now? You’re sitting in some bar somewhere, ordering your 10th shot of whisky so you can knock yourself out, as you cannot take the fact that you lost to Eric Bischoff.
Heat
Eric: You’ve got nothing Cena, nothing but a pathetic joke of a career
Heat
Eric: And Cena, in a few minutes time, I am going to bury that career for good!
Huge heat
Eric: But Cena, unlike you, I actually have a heart, so I have decided that no obituary would be complete without a selection of highlights from your career. So I have personally, personally taken the time to compile a short video showing exactly what you achieved during your career
We cut to the titantron, and we see a graphic come up, saying “the career of John Cena – 2002-2006.” The tape then starts to role, and we see John Cena make his WWE debut in a losing effort against Kurt Angle. We then see some of the moments from his early career, including when Rikishi out-rapped him in the ring, and when he got destroyed by Brock Lesnar. We then cut to the modern era of John Cena’s career on Raw, including the Coach pinning Cena, albeit with some favourable refereeing from Eric Bischoff. We see Cena lose the WWE title to Jericho, and then be screwed out of regaining it on several occasions, all of those screw jobs caused by Bischoff. We then see the match from the Supershow, when John Cena’s job was on the line against Eric Bischoff, when Stone Cold Steve Austin appeared and stunnered Cena, costing him the match. We see John Cena making a return at the Royal Rumble, only to have Austin screw him out of the match and throw him over the top rope. We then see a clip of Bischoff and Austin standing hand in hand over the fallen body of John Cena, as the clip ends
Eric: It’s so sad to lose someone who I have had such a fond relationship with over the last few months
Eric starts to fake tears from his eyes
Eric: But hey, life has to move on doesn’t it?
Heat
Eric: But before I lay the career of John Cena to rest, I would like to bring out a close personal friend of mine, and of John Cena to say a few words. Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome, Jonathon Coachman
*Playas Club* hits, and out comes the Coach to a reasonable amount of heat from the crowd. He comes down to the ring, with a suit on, looking ready to speak to the crowd about Cena. He takes the mic in the ring, and stands at the platform
Coach: Before I start, I would like to thank Eric Bischoff for giving me the opportunity to say a few last words about John Cena. Eric, this means a lot to me. We may no longer have Cena with us, but at least we still have you here on Raw
Heat, as the crowd realise the ass kissing from the Coach is about to begin
Coach: It was always an honour to face John Cena in the ring, as with John, you always knew what you were going to get. You knew he would give you the same crap that he gave every single week.
Heat
Coach: You knew that if he came to the ring to cut a promo, he would feed you the same lines each week. You knew that he would tell you how he has the heart of a lion, and would give 110% in the ring. And you people fell for it, but that’s probably because you do not have the capacity to understand it is a logical impossibility to give 110%
Heat
Coach: And when you wrestled Cena, you knew that he would do the same comeback in the match each week, you knew exactly what moves he would use, and you knew exactly how his match would end. And Cena, it must have taken some guts to try and pull the wool over the eyes of the fans week after week after week
Heat
Coach: I will always look back fondly at the time I went 1 on 1 with you in the ring, as it is a match that I will never forget. I will never forget the time that I pinned your shoulders to the mat 1, 2, 3 and was officially announced as beating John Cena in a wrestling match
Heat
Coach: So Cena, I would like to thank you for all the memories that you gave us. Of course, I don’t mean all the bad memories like the raps you cut over the years which were just plain embarrassing, but if you want to take that career line then I am not going to stop you
Heat
Eric: Thank you for that touching speech Coach, and I’m sure all the chaingang in here tonight will have tears in their eyes after hearing those words
Heat
Eric: And there is one more man that I would like to bring down here to share their experiences of John Cena. This man is a former WWE champion. In fact, he held that belt on 6 separate occasions. He is a legend in the WWE, and he has won every single major prize that can possibly be won. He is, Stone Cold Steve Austin
*Glass Shatters* hits, and out to the ring comes Stone Cold, to a huge amount of heat from the crowd, but still with a few cheers. Austin comes out of the ring entrance and storms down to the ring, ignoring all the heat that he is getting from the crowd for turning on John Cena. He enters the ring, and climbs to the turnbuckle, and then does his traditional salute to the crowd, but he raises the finger to the crowd, who boo him even more. He then takes a microphone
Austin: I was sitting at home
What? (from the crowd)
Austin: I said, I was sitting at home
What?
Austin: Are all you people in Boston death or something? Do you not have the ability to understand what I am saying?
Heat
Austin: I was sitting at home, watching the television and drinking a beer, when I got a call from Eric Bischoff
What?
Austin: Would you bastards shut up with the what chants?
What?
Austin: What?
What?
Austin: As I was saying, I got a call from Eric. And he told me that right here tonight, in Boston, Massachusettes;, he was going to bury the career of John Cena once and for all
What?
Austin: So I said to Eric, I’d love to come to help you, but why the hell does it have to be in Boston
Heat
Austin: I mean, what the hell is someone like Stone Cold Steve Austin doing in a piece of trash like Boston
Huge amounts of heat
Austin: But I was swayed to come here and say a few words simply because Eric told me I could have all the beer that I wanted
What?
Austin: All the Tequila
What?
Austin: All the whiskey
What?
Austin: All the champagne
What?
Austin: And a promise that I never have to step foot in this town again
Heat
Austin: And anyway, I thought it would be rude not to come and say a few words, because I was the one who put John Cena out of a job in the first place
Heat
Austin: Ever since that fateful day I have been asked time and time again, why did I screw John Cena, and tonight, I feel that it is time to give you an answer. I screwed John Cena, because I’m Stone Cold Steve Austin, and I’ll do what the hell I like, when I like, and how I like
Heat
Austin: If I want to give John Cena a stunner, then bam, John Cena gets hit with a stunner. If I want to shoot on Boston then I will shoot on Boston. If I want a steveweiser… I said, if I want a steveweiser, then I will get myself a steveswieser.
Austin is thrown a steveswieser, and he cracks it open, and drinks it in the middle of the ring
Austin: And if want to be the one to end the career of John Cena, then that is exactly what I am about to do.
Heat
Austin: Cena, good riddance to your pathetic excuse of a career, your pathetic attempt to be the next Stone Cold, and your pathetic life.
Heat
Austin: So I officially pronounce the career of John Cena dead, and that’s the bottom line, because Stone Cold said so!
Huge amounts of heat, as Austin picks up another beer, and drinks it, before spitting on the wreath of John Cena’s career. He, the Coach, and Bischoff raise their hands together in the middle of the ring, as the crowd boos the hell out of this segment. They are about to leave the ring and light the wreath to cremate it, when
*My Time Is Now* hits, to an absolutely massive pop from the crowd. The three men in the ring looked shocked, as they see John Cena walk out from the entrance ramp, and come out with a microphone in his hands. He puts his hands up in the air, and the crowd cheer him
Eric: What the hell are you doing in my arena? What the hell are you doing here? You’re not on the Raw roster, and Cena, I want you out of here right this second. Security, get this intruder out of here!
Heat, but no security come out, as Cena then takes the mic
Cena: Eric the security won’t be coming to stop me, because they’ll have nothing to do
And Eric, I’ve got a story that needs to be told to you
You see, when I got fired last year I didn’t take it too well
In fact, not being able to wrestle was just like being sent to hell
So one day, I was sitting at home on the couch wondering what to do with my life
And it hit me Eric, I’d look at the pornographic pictures of your wife
Eric, you’ve done well for yourself there, I mean, all I can think when I saw her was phwoar…
But then it hit that just like you, she’s nothing but a cheap, washed up, whore
And then I got a call from one Vincent Kennedy McMahon telling me I was needed to come back to Raw
Because without me, and with Bischoff running the show, he thought it was just a bore
So Vince gave me a contract, and I signed it on the dotted line
So everything here on Raw Eric, is about to be pretty damn fine
You see Eric this time my contract has a clause in it, and you can’t give me a P-45
So Eric, it looks like my career you tried to bury is very much alive
(Eric goes to shout back at Cena, but Cena starts taking again before he can do so)
Eric, it looks like you can’t take that, but please, don’t destroy everyone with another one of your whines
But if you want to make yourself feel better, then go and hire a prostitute and take it from behind
Or better still Eric, save yourself the cash and use someone you already know
Because in the ring right now you have the Coach, who looks ready to give something a blow
Oh what’s the matter Coach, don’t want people knowing what you get up in your spare time
But I’m not going to judge you at all, because being a homosexual, that’s not a crime
And Stone Cold Steve Austin, I never tried to copy and do the same things you do
And if you think that all I am is Texas ******* copycat, then Austin, F-U
So what if I’m a rebel and stick it to the man like you did Austin, this country is free
And Austin, I’m not trying to be you, and if you can’t see that, then you can’t see me!
But you have a problem with me, you cost me my job, and I’m not going to get that go
So Austin, here’s a challenge, me and you, one on one in the ring, yes or no
So Austin, the challenge is there, me and you, anytime, anywhere, I’m ready to fight
But do you have the balls to step up and face me, or has your rattlesnake lost its bite!
So come on Austin accept the challenge and do as your T-Shirt says and Fock Fear
But be prepared to get your arse kicked, because the champ is here!
Cena throws the mic down, and then he sprints into the ring, looking to go at it with Austin, Eric and the Coach. The Coach is sent as the sacrificial lamb by Bischoff, only to have him knocked down by a huge diving shoulder by Cena. Cena then stands over the Coach, and goes for the 5 knuckle shuffle on him, and he hits it, getting a huge pop from the crowd. Cena then picks up the Coach, and he throws him over the top rope to the floor. He turns around, and Eric swings a chair and Cena, but Cena ducks it, and then lifts Eric into the air, and nails the F-U on him, with Bischoff crashing down to the mat. He then locks eyes with Austin, as the crowd are loving this, and getting 100% behind Cena. Austin senses this, and he starts to run away from Cena, and he slides out of the ring, and then he starts to run around it, trying to get away from Cena. Cena follows him, not wanting to let Austin get away, only for Austin to slide into the ring. Cena follows him into it. However, Austin is waiting for Cena, and he nails him with a right hand, and then another one, before a shot to the stomach. He then flips the bird to Cena, and goes for the stunner. However, Cena counters it, and pushes Austin away and then nails Austin with the steel chair, knocking him down. Austin then struggles back up, only for Cena to plant him with the F-U, getting a huge pop from the crowd
Cena: Austin, it looks like I just kicked your arse, and that’s the bottom line, because John Cena said so!
Huge pop, as Cena throws the mic down on Austin, and stands tall of him in the middle of the ring, as Raw comes to a close
Sunday Night Heat - March 5th
Matt Hardy def. Rene Dupree with the twist of fate
Chris Masters def. Val Venis with the masterlock
The Spirit Squad (Kenny and Jonny) def. Jobbers with the diving leg drop from Kenny
Trish Stratus def. Victoria with the chick kick
The Teachers held an edition of the Teachers classroom in which they talked about their dominance over Punked for Kash, which led to PFK coming out, and beating down the Teachers to a pop. Heat ended with Punked for Kash and Trish standing tall over The Teachers, and with their respective title belts in their hands
Wrestlemania 22 Card
World Heavyweight Title
Edge (c) w/Lita vs. Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit
WWE Title
Chris Jericho (c) vs. Christian w/Tyson Tomko or Triple H
Intercontinental Title and the MITB Contract
Ladder Match
Shelton Benjamin (c) vs. Gregory Helms vs. Charlie Haas vs. Matt Hardy vs. Chris Masters vs. AJ Styles
Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio