Re: Things that annoy you?
I'll start this off ironically (due to the small things that annoy me), as my first is people who take things too seriously. The amount of people I have to listen to on a daily basis at work saying shit like "my life is so hard", "this job is terrible" and various bollocks like that is unreal. I can't help but wonder how stressful your life must be if you can't handle working in the easiest fucking warehouse job ever. We put clothes in boxes. A monkey could definitely be trained to do it and they're acting as though lives at are stake. If you think your job is shit, get a new one - it's not hard.
Seen it mentioned a few times already but people who eat with their mouths open and/or eat loudly. There's no excuse for it unless you breathe like a mong. It's fucking disgusting and I'll eat in another room if I have to, or depending on the person I'll make them eat elsewhere. Only acceptable excuses for this are the genuinely disabled or beyond beautiful - rarely both.
I'm actually going to put something I do myself here, which is unbelievably stupid. It's my use of the '-' symbol. I have no idea what it is called, or when I should actually use it - nevermind!
People who walk slowly or groups of people that block the pavement. There's no reason for either of them, except being old for the former. The amount of times I've had to ask someone to move (politely) is far more than I'd have to if they walked like a normal fucking person. If I'm ignored when I ask politely then I'm going through you.
This somewhat goes in hand with the above and that is people who are rude/ignorant. If I'm talking to you and someone else comes over and you instantly fuck me off and talk to them, don't act surprised when I tell you to fuck off. Those who don't say please when asking for something (doesn't have to be said to me, just anyone in general) or thank you is something that annoys me more than anything. If I've held the door open and you've not said a fucking word then expect me to make shit awkward for you.
Children. I like the children in my family. I like my friends' children. I don't like kids who scream on the train/bus/plane. I'm not putting babies in this as they don't know better, I'm talking kids who're spoilt little bastards who haven't gotten their own way. I'll bundle teenagers into this as the arrogance of them is remarkable and I'll be the first to admit I take great satisfaction in telling them to "shut the fuck up" in the cinema and them doing exactly that.
People who are easily offended. I make sick jokes. If you happen to hear it, don't come up to me and say "you can't say that" because I'll tell you that you're wrong. I'm not going to go up to a person who's kid has just died and make a joke about it. I make sick jokes about a generic person/subject. I remember a Ricky Gervais stand-up where humour/jokes are used to determine how well you're going to get along with someone, which is something I tend to follow. If I make a joke and it's funny then I'd like people to laugh, if you're offended by it then don't bother approaching me as I'm not interested in talking to you and I won't be apologising.
Religion. It doesn't make sense. Genuinely. I really don't get how people can get so into it. You can believe in whatever you want but don't expect me to understand why you do so. I enjoy logic and common sense.
Certain social situations. The moments where you're expected to talk to someone but you have a definitive idea that you won't get along. Or people that insist on small talk. The amount of times I have to listen to "how was your weekend", "this weather is shit" at work is annoyingly frequent - it wouldn't be so bad if that wasn't the only thing we'd talk about for the entire night. A guy genuinely tried talking to me about different types of mops yesterday. Are you having a fucking laugh? I have about 10 close friends who I enjoy talking to. I have family members I enjoy talking to. Notable exceptions to these are; girlfriend/boyfriend of said friends, women I intend on getting to know/fucking - that's it. I come across as a miserable dickhead but this is what keeps me happy and sane.
People who go to the gym and suddenly think they're capable of fighting. I quite like fighting, it's why I'm attempting to get into MMA proper, so when people who have been abusing steroids attempt to fight with me it's only going to go one way. Don't get me wrong, I've only been doing Jiu Jitsu for a few months but I've been boxing for years now and I'm only just incorporating kickboxing into things (looking to learn some wrestling if I have the schedule) so I'm 'better' than the average person when it comes to a fight. I will never look for a fight however, this is what annoys me about those who wear the same t-shirt that they did when they weighed 100lbs less. This is a bit of a funny one though as despite this annoying me, I do take great satisfaction in ending the fights. This one makes me sound like a bit of a tit but it'll have to do.
Last one! People who actually make resolutions. If I want to do something, I don't need to do it on a certain day. If you genuinely have to wait until New Year to start something then you aren't going to do a fucking thing, you could have done it at any time the 12 months prior to it.
In general I come across as an angry person however if I like you then you'll not see me in that way at all.