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post #60 of (permalink) Old 01-09-2013, 07:41 AM
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Re: Post your best work on this Forum

This is still my best post in this forum
Originally Posted by DualShock View Post
John Cena attacks The Rock from behind. He goes to the stage and says this

Dwayne, while you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me.
I want you to digest this because before I leave in 3 weeks with your WWE Championship and I earned my right because I won the MITB match, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest.

I donít hate you, Dwayne. I donít even dislike you. I do like you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most people in the back.

I hate this idea that you and your era are the best. Because youíre not. Iím the best and my era full of bland people. We are the best in the world. Thereís one thing youíre better at than we are and thatís making exciting television.

Youíre as good as making exciting television as Stone Cold was. I donít know if youíre as good as the Mr. McMahon character. Heís probably the greatest heel in history. Always was and still is.

Whoops! Iím burying myself! (Facepalm to the camera)

I have the best 5 moves in the world.

Iíve been the best tool, ass kisser, backstabber and cheater day one when I walked into this company. And Iíve been vilified and hated since that day because the McMahon family saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. Thatís right, Iím a Vince McMahon asskisser. You know who else was a Vince McMahon ass kisse? Triple H. And he is on top just like I am on top. But the biggest difference between me and Triple H is that he bangs the daughter of the boss, I bang only the girls of my friends

Iíve rided so many times on Vincent K. McMahonís dick that itís finally dawned on me that Iíts just that, itís completely a joyride. The only thing that makes more fun the fact that day in and day out, for 10 years, I have proved to everybody in the world that people protect me. Vince, road agents, legends, officials, even the commentators! Nobody can touch me!

And yet no matter how many times I prove it, Iím not on your lovely little GOAT list. Iím not on the cover of your favourite PPV. Iím barely cheered. I don't get to be in a list with Hogan, Rock, Stone Cold. Iím certainly not on any of your crappy Attitude Era favourite wrestling show of all time. Iím not in the signature in a wrestlingforum. I was not in a storyline with the Corporation. I was not in a storyline with the Ministry of Darkness. But the fact of the matter is, I was in better storylines for example with Big Show or John Laurinaitis.

This isnít sour grapes. But the fact that Debraís cookies 10 year sago had a louder pop than me in my whole career makes me sick!

Oh hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big a part that the other half of the fans boos me. Because youíre the ones who act like retards in YouTube videos or wrestlingforum by defending me by insulting the children of other wrestlers or acting stupid like the fat dude at Over The Limit 2012. Youíre the ones that will buy the new WWE 13 games with this great Attitude Era stars. And then at five in the morning at the airport, you try to shove it in my face and get an autograph and try to sell it on Ebay because youíre too lazy to go get a real job.

Iím leaving with the WWE Championship on July 17th. And hell, who knows, maybe Iíll go defend it at Nickelodeon. MaybeÖIíll go to Fredís YouTube show.

(Cena looks at the camera and waves)

Hey, Pixie Lott, how you doing?

The reason Iím leaving is you people. Because after Iím gone, youíre still going to cheer the old Attitude Era stars. Iím just a chump who serves his purpose untill wrestling becames cool again. The chump is going to act like a chump until Linda retires from politics and until people have fully forgotten about the Benoit tragedy and I understand that. Vince McMahon is going to make money despite. Heís a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why heís not a billionaire? Because he made me the star of his company, and Iíd like to think that people will cheer for me when Iím retired or dead. But the fact is, there still exist idiotic WWE DVDís, doofus YouTube videos and the rest of the stupid media to remind the fans how much I suck."
(Suddenly, his mic gets cut off)
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