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post #317 of (permalink) Old 01-02-2013, 07:57 PM
Often Imitated, Never Duplicated
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Re: Six Years, Six Thousand - Too Long, DID Read.

Originally Posted by GOD of CUNT View Post
In my twelve years here I've learned three things:

1: I was subjected to at least 114 minutes of The Mummy tonight, and I came to the realisation that I would put my prick in every oracle Rachel Weisz has to offer. Or is it orifice? No, I'm pretty sure it's oracle. I would prick every one of those oracles.

2: When you walk into an off-license in Glasgow and ask for 2 crates of the wifebeater, the rat bastard behind the counter should know what you're looking for. He should not say, "Is that a vest?"

C) This one should be common knowledge.

5: 4.50 for one shot of Havana Club is a fucking disgrace and I am not sorry I murdered that little cunt.

L) vivalabrave

6: I learned how to say "shit in a shower cap" in French tonight, but I've forgotten now. I would like to thank i$e for opening my eyes and ears and pussy and convincing me to pursue being ambidextrous. Or bilingual or bilateral or whatever.

9: I am not bisexual, but when I meet Craig in some shit tip of a club in Sauchiehall street I will mount him.

6: iPhones are fucking gay as fuck and apparently "him" should be spellchecked and changed to "Jill." In whose world? Not fucking mine.

F) There is no such thing as a bachelor's in alcoholic. That makes no sense and I totally didn't believe my cunt of a father when he told me he had that.

10: I would drink a gallon of my own piss before I give a speech at my father's wedding.

11: I like Cody but ..... for the love of god change your avatar to something that isn't an eleven year old boy.

D) If you're in a club with a purple top hat and you're eating chocolate, I'm going to call you Willy Wonka. I don't see how this should surprise you in any way whatsoever. If you take offence to this then you deserve every second of me putting your nose through your brain with a shovel.

15: Where the hood at?

Standing Oracle

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