Re: Oh, God. I might have to cook Thanksgiving.
I think you should do the cooking. If it were me, in situation such as yours, I would feel obligated (which isn't such a good thing). But it sounds like everyone really needs someone to pull them together this year; so ask yourself if you're thankful for knowing these people at all. If it's yes (hopefully at least some of them), then do it; you'll only look back and be considered the sane person during the holiday season.
Turkey - you can google that easily
Stuffing - stove top microwave
Corn (on the cob) - google that too
Cranberry sauce - out of a can
Apple Pie - probably hardest part, google it
cornbread - google it
all this stuff is easily bought well in advance, and you can just google it if need be.