The rabies began eating me after the pirate orgy, which was the best viral infection I synthesised, whilst my Asian stepfather touched his black son's stolen micro-film. Afterwards the bike lock suddenly magically transformed the wheels into apple trees. As Cena grabbed furiously onto Vince's stick, the aroma overpoweringly made Triple HHH become increasingly horny. Twenty of the jobbers poured hot diarrhoea all over themselves repeatedly until one of them felt like they wanted novocaine up their, already gaping, assholes. My dream of LSD Ponies ejaculating rainbows onto babies came flooding back into my minds eye
Exiting the locker-room, Lesnar wiped the sweat off my face and asked me for advice about our tag match. I told him to just keep his game because when facing Slater and his strongest stablemate, THE SHOCKMASTER, we must be wary of their manager, BIG POPPA PUMP. He will cry about the fact that your tan-lines humorously resemble Triple H's nose.
Our music started playing. My mind still elsewhere, I headed for the ring. The match was going to determine the next GMs of Raw and SmackDown. I decided not to think about the hallucination provided by Lesnar's huge zebra-pattern underwear. Nervously, I licked my ice cream cone. "CM Punk" was written on a replica nexus pencil AND on the ice cream. I realised my full potential when my nexus ice cream spoke, saying "I did it for The Rock".
Lesnar had Slater in a pickle. He had him under his massive forearms, in a new submission move 'the Big Lebowski". The Opponent was in a bad way even before Lesnar thrust his copy cat partner (me) back into the ropes causing an EARTHQUAKE which changed the course of the Youknowyouguyscanwritemorethanonewordnowright Project. Then a dog, doing it bunny style, jumped the commentary table north of Lesnar's balls and raped Lawler. Lawler enjoyed it though, because it was a hallucination, the match itself ended quickly because Slater soon tapped out to 'The Big Lebowski', Lesnar and I celebrated by the beach, or maybe that was just the hallucinagenic drugs again. The Straight Edge CM Punk, also with us, was disgusted by our drugs, so he put both me and Lesnar in a double Crippler Crossface until we all urinated, deficated and ejaculated all at the same time. Since this goes against the 'PG Era', the match was declared 'No Contest'. On the way to the locker room we practised our pole dancing, but Brock slipped in a pool of pudding made for the divas match coming up next, Brock fell hard on his backside "Brock's Bottom, Brock's Bottom" screamed JR, clearly emotional, the crowd reacted by singing a remix of "We No Speak Americano" in unison.
Waking up first, Rey's buddy Sin Cara switched off the episode of RAW he'd been watching, disgusted by the appalling booking in the Brock/Slater Tag match. 'I should have been licking Dixie Carters ballsack instead, but Brodus Clay's will have to do' he said, tucking in to that sweaty purse of skin.
Meanwhile back at the arena Swagger had started huffing paint to get the hallucinations started again. The rape dog had returned, looks like the paint worked.
Meanwhile at the Hall Of Justice RVD came over with marijuana and shared it among Sonic the Hedgehog and Aquaman. He had also brought bacon sandwiches. Out of nowhere a giant ball of string started rolling down the hall towards where they were starting to eat they're bacon sandwiches. RVD shouted: "Rolling thunder" and tried to jump onto, and propel, the large ball upwards so nobody would get hurt in it's path. Of course, Rob being Rob, he failed miserably. Eve: Pro wrestling broadcasted this live on CraigsList Streams, main event being Brock Lesnar and Slater vs Scott Steiner and Shockmaster in a "New Gimmick Match Idea on a Pole" match. Obviously Russo was the booker. The ending had already been given away though, by Bateman when he brought the rape dog back, and it won by rollup. However, it turned out that Jim Ross was working with Steiner and The Shockmaster and this was all part of his plan to introduce WWE's newest star: SpongeBob Spare-rants, who came down to the ring and proceeded to rant about stuff.
But it looks like someone on creative has been looking up their IWA MS because Vader and Kharma jump into the ring and proceed to have mind blowing fat sex. The pyro is set off on the stage, in the ring and on the announce table, unfortunately having no effect than to set fire to a sleeping, raped Lawler. The Atheletic state comission demanded an explanation and what was given is the Wrestlingforum Hardcore title from one year ago has been reinstated. Current champ being whoever survied the pyro in the ring. Look! Who should emerge from the smoke with the belt is likely Kelly Kelly...
NO! It was a man, disguised as Kelly all along! Lawler, finally stirred by the fire, waddled down to the ring and whipped off the imposter's wig to reveal Hornswoggle! Lawler was instantly knocked out by a hail of bottles from disgusted fans as Hornswoggle put his wig back on and headed to the local red-light district. Val Venis, The Godfather, Sexual Chocolate, and Visera all try to recuit him but the WWE instantly vaporised all of them as they "should not have existed". A promo for Linda's campaign followed. The next Thursday, Impact Wrestling gained record ratings, which Vince blames on the lack of Funkasaurus. The entire SmackDown the next day was changed to a Brodus Clay concert. The show gained -200,000 viewers. The Terminator comes out of nowhere with intenet on saving the future by Vinces past erasing, inadvertently bringing Chr*s Ben**t back to life. The fans flee to their forums demanding the same thing happen to other past wrestlers, while Chr*s himself diving headbutted any who dared to remain. The next week, John Cena signed for TNA, deciding this was one hate he simply could not rise above, or even embrace. Unexpectedly, a red mist fueled Brock Lesnar comes out of nowhere and starts killing everyone with SSP's, including the audience, or at least the remainder that were conscious.
Flash forward to Thursday's episode of TNA: Impact Wrestling. TNA's newest signing, John Cena, entered to the sound of Mark Henry's theme song covered by John Cena and Li'l Wayne, passing wind and Undertakers orgasm, nothing more...
Wait! Some fan in audiance got a hold of a live mic, but before he could say anything he was tackled by Vince McMahon wearing a shirt saying WWE Superstars For Strippers Program, who was being pursued by Hulk Hogan in a huge robotic exoskeleton.
Hogan announces that he will battle Vince McMahon and John Cena right now in a Falls Count Anywhere Match to see who will represent this thread in the upcoming SimpleOneWordStoryGame vs WWEStorylineCreator 1 match ppv: BOUND FOR NOTHING! Cena, naturally, cause he's John fucking Cena, won. However, there is confusion amidst the writers since all kinds of crazy shit is going on in the WWEStorylineCreator, so they postpone and forget about the whole event that very same night. Wrestling is shitake mushroom paste covered fillet with dipping sauce aka like an enjoyable something or rather, is what one thinks when they see whats gonna happen next after the break.
Nothing, as it turns out.
The next day, at Smackdown, another match to determine the One Word Story representative at Bound For Nothing was being held. It was a triple threat, this time between Storyline Creator representitive Garret Bischoff!!!
sonjay dutt and great khali, with Garett winning in less than 20 seconds
"Soooooooo... Garrett will face himself at the ppv then..." thought Smackdown's new GM,