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post #1 of (permalink) Old 09-17-2012, 03:31 PM Thread Starter
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How to make Cesaro and the USA title revelant ? (hoselupf)

I simply think that WWE should let Antonio Cesaro being swiss, even if it means using crappy stereotypes. First of all he must come back to his banker/soldier gimmick, rugbyman's gimmick only suits british or samoan wrestlers.

More importantly, I believe that he must use his swissness to make the United Title feud relevant, funny and refreshing. You can read the idea below.

Cesaro's music is heard. We can watch Antonio and David Otunga walking down the ramp. Once in the ring Antonio takes the microphone.

Antonio Cesaro : : Meine Damen und Herren, Mesdames et Messieurs, Ladies and Gentlemen, It's a pleasure to be here. I decided to announce something important. As you probably know, I am the current United States champion and for this reason I decided to modify the regulations codifying the title. I will let my lawyer explain how it works.

David Otunga :
Thank you Mister Cesaro. First of all we need to remind the audience what one precedent is. It is a principle or rule established in a previous legal case that is either binding on or persuasive for a court or other tribunal when deciding subsequent cases with similar issues or facts. Or as we tell "Stare decisis et non quieta movere".

Following a precedent case set by the wrestler Yokozuna, WWE decided to allow Mister Cesaro to use his right to alter the title he currently holds. He won't be able to rename it, but only to decide how the title will be defended.

Antonio Cesaro : Thanks David, I won't rename the title or call you the swiss title which would be cheap and , as you told, unlawful. No, I simply will make another change. The United title will be defended through "Hoselupf matches"

David Otunga :I will explain you the rules. The match takes place in a ring, a circular area with a diameter of 12 meters that is covered with sawdust. The two opponents wear short pants made of jute over their clothes. The wrestlers hold each other by these pants, at the back where the belt meets, and try to throw the opponent onto his back.

(muttering) It's just a non sense. They look like diapers.

Antonio Cesaro : No it's swiss and they are quite practical. Continue please.

David Otunga : A match is won when the winner holds the opponent's pants with at least one hand and both the opponent's shoulders touch the ground. By tradition the winner brushes the sawdust off the loser's back after the match. Is it right ?

Antonio Cesaro : Yes.

David Otunga : The US title defense will now be officialy regulated by Swiss wrestling regulations.

They leave the ring and the arena
Ony typical Hoselupf match :

Last edited by Yamada_Taro; 09-17-2012 at 04:01 PM.
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