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Thread: Bad flatmates
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post #13 of (permalink) Old 09-17-2012, 04:05 AM
Keep you lovin' brother happy
Craig's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: A pavement in Glasgow with alcohol poisioning
Posts: 3,465
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Re: Bad flatmates

Oh christ, bad flatmate stories?

So 1st year uni I'm in halls, 250 folk, of those about 25 ish are from the UK, we all band together apart from the cunt in the room next to me, a bastard from Edinburgh named Euan. Now Euan, Euan was a special fucking guy, the sort of guy whos mum would phone him twice a day to make sure he'd brushed his teeth, the kind of guy who, every and I mean every morning at half past 7 would decide to play God Save The Queen on the trumpet, the complete fucking bastard who would talk to foreigners in their own accent because supposedly they understood it better.

Guy was a cunt is what I'm saying, a boring, dull, offensive cunt who thought lolcats were the greatest thing ever and plastered our living room in them... but then about December people retaliated to the boring cunt, his posters all dissapeared the same night a bonfire was started, how very odd huh? And then there was that time his fucking trumpet was drowned out by the DJ of the student union (He lived in halls, he was a dick too but he was a good dick to me) setting up his speakers outside the guy's window and blasting The Venga Boys at him, and then our French flatmate took a shit on his bed.

No-one really liked the guy, complete cunt that he was.

Now 2nd year? Oh lordy, moved into a flat with one of my best friends from halls, he was a massive stoner, got chucked out of uni within 2 months, didn't understand how electricity worked because he'd lived in Moscow where his dad runs some UN school for 10 years so he was completely lost on... everything in UK culture or anything like that and he was so ignorant he didn't care to learn, all whilst tricking his parents into thinking he was still going to uni.

Of course that one doesn't have a happy yay retalliation ending, guy kicked me out to move his dealer in, although I have managed to turn every single one of his friends against him and the dealer has supposedly already slapped the shit out of him one night.


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