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Old 07-27-2012, 07:55 AM   #13 (permalink)
Melvis
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Default Re: WWE; Power, Prestige, PASSION.

Firstly, of course, it's awesome stuff to see you back, M-Squared, seeing as you know you were one of my main inspirations when I was just starting out in the section. Great to see you.

On to the thread - the viewpoint of the writer himself in the first post gives me the impression (in addition to the 'Passion' part of the thread title) that we're getting a writer who actually cares about the product, something that feels a little missing from the writers in real life WWE. Definitely a good starting point. Obviously, the roster is stacked, and although as a massive fan of both Barrett and Gabriel I can't support their release, you have plenty of other guys to use in their roles instead. The 'timelessness' aspect seemed a little confusing at first, but then I saw you dated the first show after all, which at least grounds us a little. Obviously you're using Edge and Triple H in roles different to their current status, but I think the further we go into the thread and the storylines, we'll learn to 'suspend the disbelief' and we can focus more on the feuds themselves. If you're not keeping up with the WWE at the moment, this is probably the way to go, and I think the more shows you write, the easier the new format will be to follow.

MrMyKalz' Raw Feedback (The first of many, hopefully)


As usual, your presentation is stellar, just thought I'd drop that in here.

Opening with Christian is fine, considering that it's good to see the Intercontinental Championship elevated to the opening act of the show. Having 'Dashing' Cody against new masked Kane is obviously something that never happened, so in a way that's a bonus of your thread, in that we get some fresh match-ups that we wouldn't have seen otherwise. Christian calling it down the middle is right in line with his character, but more interesting in the Special Referee stipulation is that Christian witnessed Kane's power first-hand, giving the IC Title feud a new dynamic from the get-go. That asks some questions of Christian as the champion, so that's a good start to the show.

I'm not sure if JBL even needed to talk here, to be honest. His appearance in general would be enough to generate some intrigue, never mind having to talk about what he's going to do. "Take care" also seemed like something JBL wouldn't deign to say to an interviewer, considering he's usually got a bit of an ego, whether you're playing him off as a face or heel. Dialogue issues are a given if you haven't been around for a while, though, so it's hardly an issue. Some suspense for JBL here, so job done.

Some decent tag action before Mr. S's appearance. No idea who he is, but hey, that builds the suspense for next week or whenever we find out. Again, some good intrigue.

I feel like we should have heard more from Lesnar before the appearance of Triple H, and possibly more between the two of them before the subsequent appearance of Punk. What we got between Lesnar and HHH was pretty good stuff, but I was left wanting a bit more so the heat would build between the two guys. I also feel a more powerful entrance for Hunter would have been his music hitting, seeing as that Motorhead riff usually signals his appearance, rather than him just walking out on to the stage. Small thing. CM Punk lifted the segment with his monologue; you've really got his attitude down to a tee, the almost-arrogant-but-can-back-it-up 'pipebomb' style, and that's great. Not sure why HHH would just do as JBL asks if he didn't know he was the new GM, by the way, but JBL as GM is a perfectly good choice. An Edge appearance would have been helpful, seeing as this really guaranteed Punk was winning, but I can understand that you're trying to build your feuds from the get-go, and that's something I have no problem with. Probably segment of the night so far, but I'd like to see more depth in the characters if possible, as my main constructive criticism.

The Ziggler/Swagger/Benjamin backstage segment felt a little awkward and forced to me, but again, I'll put it down to rust, and you got Ziggler's temper in there as possibly the most important part. A Benjamin/Ziggler feud over the US Title is guaranteed to have killer matches, so I'm pleased to see you setting this up.

With Jericho being booed after his title win, I can only imagine you're gearing up for Orton's involvement in the WHC picture as well - not sure how you plan to book the heel/heel title match next week, but I have faith in you to do something interesting with it. As with the above feedbackers, I wonder what becomes of Cena, Sheamus and Big Show, especially as they're three of the biggest names you'd have as a new WWE writer and thus they're fairly major players in making your show a star-studded one. I'm guessing we'll see more from them, Cena especially, next week.

The Edge situation is slightly confusing; you note him as a Hall of Famer, yet part of the reason he was inducted was because he had to retire because of a possibly-life-threatening state of pre-injury. I'm therefore a little confused as to why he's back in action without explanation, but I understand you're building a world as you see it and if that's what you're doing then I'll just do as I mentioned before and suspend my disbelief about it. Regardless, CM Punk going over is the right choice, especially leading into a possible HHH or Lesnar feud, and the ending of the show, with HHH getting one back on Lesnar, sets us up brilliantly for next week.

Overall, it occurs to me I've been somewhat critical in places, but it's only because everything you did WELL, I didn't mention as much because you KNOW you did it well. There were a few logistical issues I had with how you set the thread up at first, but as I said, I think more shows will allow us to formulate opinions on certain feuds and we'll forget about the odd time period thing. The booking is good, as is the match writing - there were a few moments where characters lost their smooth dialogue a little, but I put that entirely down to rust and I think there's some very promising stuff to come out of tonight's show. My one other thought is that the show was a little short; I think with the mass of talent on your roster, you could definitely stretch it out and give us a bit more to chew on. Otherwise, it's a good start, and it's great to see you back in the game. Can't wait for more, my good man.
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