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post #1 of (permalink) Old 07-19-2012, 01:40 PM Thread Starter
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WWE: The Sitcom

The backstory...

With hours to go before the 1001st episode of Raw, WWE Chairman Vince McMahon was more stressed out and crazy than ever before. Sources within WWE say this makes the night before the Montreal Screwjob look like Sunday dinner with The Brady Bunch. The clock strikes midnight, and Vince snaps. He makes a shocking change in company direction...
Monday morning, 9am. The Creative Team are gathered in Stamford Headquarters, sat either side of the long table where the script writing takes part for what they believe will be the usual thrown-together mess of the evening's Monday Night Raw. Vince, usually 4 hours early for the meeting, is late. There is an eery tension in the air. Michael Hayes slaps Kevin Dunn repeatedly, telling him to stop being hysterical despite the fact that Dunn has been sitting calmly in silence all along.

09.05am, Vince bursts in the door. There is a collective gasp of horror. Vince, holding a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniels in his right hand, is wearing nothing but stained briefs. Stephanie McMahon asks her father what's wrong, but he tells her to "SHUUUUT UPPPPPP". Vince demands silence as he stands atop the writers desk. "Here's what we're going to do" mumbles Vince, spit flying out of his mouth and landing on the faces of numerous nervous, pale, former soap-opera writers now employed by the leading force in all of sports entertainment. "Monday Night Raw will now be...a sitcom. 100% comedy, 100% of the time". Kevin Dunn, trying to restore order, points out that since day one, Raw has featured comedy segments, but Vince silences him by smashing his whiskey bottle to the floor. "NO! 100% comedy, 100% of the time".

Triple H has seen enough, and stands up, telling Vince he'll drive him home to The Family Mansion and give him a chance to sober up. But Vince says he has never been more sober in his life. The change of direction is final: Monday Night Raw... is now a sitcom.

Stay tuned.
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