Re: The Main Event and Juvy's Rise of Glory
The SmackDown theme plays followed by the explosive pyros. Triple H’s music quickly overcomes the PA System and the new number one contender makes his way to the ring in a business suit. He steals the microphone from Tony Chimel and begins his speech.COMMERCIAL BREAK
HHH: “…This has become somewhat of a tradition here on SmackDown…me coming out…giving a speech…then walking out as a winner. Well…last week…I faced off against the phenom! Against The Undertaker! And I became the number one contender! Despite John Cena trying to screw me out of the title by being the referee…despite interference during the match…and despite the use of weapons! I am the Game! And I am the number one contender! Meaning only one thing…I get to finally go one on one with John Cena. So Cena…if you’re in the back listening…I DARE YOU…to come out and face me!”
John Cena’s music begins to play and the champ makes his way out to the ramp. Cena pulls a microphone out of his pocket and begins speaking.
Cena: “Triple H…Triple H…Triple H. That’s typical of you…picking on a cripple. You know damn well that I’m in no shape to fight! You saw what happened last week to me…and it’s all your fault! But…that’s exactly why I want to challenge you tonight! I want to prove that you can’t even beat a cripple! I want to prove that you can’t beat me on my worst day! And I want revenge!”
HHH: “What you want? It’s not about what you want! It’s about what I want! I want the WWE Championship! I want to beat you! And I want to end your pathetic excuse of a career!”
Cena: “Then I guess the time…is now!”
Cena begins ripping off his jersey until Theodore Long makes his way out.
Long: “Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Now listen up crackas! John Cena…I have doctor’s papers saying you are in no physical condition to compete tonight so I’m sticking to it! I do not want to lose the top draw on SmackDown! But…to make it up to you…next week…I’ll make it Triple H versus…John Cena…for the WWE Championship!”
The crowd gets all riled up as Theodore Long leaves. John Cena seems a little worried as Triple H is displaying his confidence.
HHH: “Thank you! John Cena…next week…it’s time to play The Game! And MY time is now! Haha!”
Triple H laughs as his music begins to play. Cena continues to show his worry as cameras cut to commercials.
Backstage, we see Orlando Jordan standing with the Basham Brothers in the parking lot.
Orlando: “Now remember what I said. When he arrives, I’ll open the door for him, you guys shake his hand and say hello. Treat him very nicely! This is our new leader, he’s our boss! He’s our…wait…here he comes. Okay, positions!”
The Cabinet members hold their position as a fancy new black car pulls up. Orlando Jordan opens the door for the person sitting in the back. Out comes Carlito Caribbean Cool! Carlito looks around at the shocked faces of the Cabinet members.
Carlito: “Who were you expecting…someone else?”
Orlando: “Y,y,y…you’re our now leader?”
Carlito: “Leader? What are you talking about? I’m too cool to be your leader!”
Orlando: “Stop wasting our time! We’re here waiting for a very important person! We’re waiting for our new boss! Now personally…I hope he gives me the orders to beat you down and take you out after what has just happened…and what happened last week!”
Carlito: “Oh yeah…when I almost took your United States Championship! If it wasn’t for…these two bald-headed losers and….The Undertaker!”
Orlando: “Oh yeah…speaking of that…how’s your head? Haha! You’re lucky enough not to be in the hospital. But from what I’ve heard…you’re not gonna like the mood that The Undertaker’s in. You’re gonna wish he put you in a hospital!”
Carlito: “Let me tell you something…O.J.! Insulting me…that’s not cool! Mentioning what The Undertaker did to me…that’s not cool either! Hell…anything to do with you three isn’t cool! But let me tell you what is cool…Carlito! And the fact that The Undertaker is going to wish…he never cost me my title match last week!”
Orlando: “So you’re blaming it on him? I would’ve beaten you anyway. You’re nothing but a piece of garbage! You’re trash compared to people like me! And tonight…Undertaker’s gonna be the trash compactor!”
Carlito: “Oh…Is that so?”
Carlito takes a bite of his apple and looks at the ground. He looks up quickly and spits the chunks of apple into Orlando Jordan’s face. The Bashams help Orlando Jordan wipe the chunks from his eyes.
Orlando: “Get him!”
Carlito starts running off with the entire Cabinet chasing after him.
Cruiserweight Title Match: Paul London Vs. Akio
Even though the match has barely just begun, Akio irish whips Paul London hard into the turnbuckle. Akio runs and delivers an impressive dropsault. The champion stumbles forward in pain and is hit with a devastating martial arts kick to the head. Akio goes for the cover…
Winner: NEW Cruiserweight Champion…Akio!!!!
Akio celebrates his easy victory and achievement as cameras cut backstage to Heidenreich. The crazed lunatic holds up a piece of paper and begins reading.
Heidenreich: “To be, or not to be, that is the question: Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrow of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles And by opposing end them. To die – to sleep, No more; and by a sleep to say we end The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to: ‘tis a consummation Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep: To sleep, perchance to dream- ay, dream of one day being champion. There’s the rub: For in that sleep of death what dreams may come, When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause – there’s the respect That makes calamity of so long life. For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, The oppressor’s wrong, the pround man’s contumely, The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay, The insolence of office, and the spurns That patient merit of the unworthy takes, When he himself might his quietus make With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear, To grunt and sweat under a weary life, But that the dread of something after death, The undiscovered country, from whose bourn No travellur returns, puzzles the will, And makes us rather bear those ills we have Than fly to others that we know not of? Thus conscience does make cowards of us all, And thus the native hue of resolution Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought, And enterprises of great pitch and moment With this regard their currents turn awry And lose the name of action. Soft you now, For my name is Heidenreich! And I am entering this Battle of Royals at the Day of Judgment!”
Heidenreich lets out a roar.
Tazz: “What did he say Cole?”
Cole: “I think he just quoted Shakespeare with a few twists to it. Form what I understand…he’s entering the Battle Royal at Judgment Day with dreams of becoming champion!”
Eugene/Booker T Vs. Maven/Luther Reigns
Maven gets irish whipped into the corner by Booker T. Eugene goes up to Booker T and irish whips him. Booker T reverses it and sends his partner flying into the corner. Maven stumbles forwards and gets sidekicked over the top rope by Booker T. The ring is cleared now since Luther Reigns was taken down earlier with the Book End which leaves Booker T and Eugene alone in the ring. Booker T gets set up for the spinarooni but Eugene stops him. Booker T seems a little confused until Eugene drops to one knee, staring at his hand. Eugene shakes his head violently then does the spinarooni!
Tazz: "What would you call that? A Eugenerooni?"
Cole: "Call it whatever you like, Booker T and Eugene are one hell of a team!"
Luther Reigns gets back in the ring and takes down Eugene with a huge closeline! He turns around and receives a kick to the mid-section from the 5 time WCW Champion. Booker T comes off the ropes and hits the scissors kick then sees Maven climbing back up to the apron. Booker T knocks him off as Eugene covers Luther Reigns...
Winners: Booker T and Eugene!!!
Before they can celebrate, their victory is interrupted by Kurt Angle! Kurt hammers away at both competitors until Booker T starts firing back. Luther Reigns and Maven get back into the fight and double team Eugene. Maven, Luther Reigns and Kurt Angle all high five each other.
Tazz: "Is this the new Team Angle?"
Cole: "Makes perfect sense. Luther Reigns has impressed Kurt Angle by the looks of things and they're back on the same page!"
Maven hits a beautiful textbook fishmerman suplex to the Book Man. Luther Reigns then picks up Booker T and delivers his neckbreaking finisher! Kurt Angle tells Maven and Luther Reigns to go after Eugene. They begin following orders until Angle comes up from behind and delivers the Angle Slam to Luther Reigns! Maven wonders what's going on then gets into a slugfest. Kurt Angle gains the advantage and takes Maven down followed by the Ankle Lock! Maven screams in pain and begins tapping out as the fans are cheering for Kurt Angle! Kurt lets Maven free and he limp to the back. Luther Reigns and Booker T are down and Eugene is just getting to his feet. Eugene shows a peace sign and Kurt Angle asks for a hug. Eugene seems reluctant at first then gladly accepts the friendly gesture from Kurt Angle. Kurt raises Eugene's arm in victory then delivers a shocking Angle Slam to him too! Kurt Angle stands tall above the rest as he grabs a microphone.
Angle: "Everyone in the back...this is a message! Pay attention! Especially...John Cena and Triple H! I am officially entering the Battle Royale at Judgment Day! And once I throw everyone else over the top...I'll be coming after you! Then when I get my shot...you're looking at the next WWE Champion! It's true! It's damn true!"
Kurt Angle's music plays again as there are some mixed reactions from the fans.
Tazz: "Well...Kurt Angle fooled us all, especially Luther Reigns and Maven!"
Cole: "The big story though is Kurt Angle is participating in the battle Royale along with the other four men he just took out!"
Tazz: "Wait a minute...what's this?"
Cameras go backstage where we see Rey Mysterio and Billy Kidman in a backstage brawl with the Guerreros! They continue to slug each other and bash their heads into random objects all around. Officials are trying to pry them apart and finally gain some distance when Theodore Long appears.
Long: "This is enough! I will not have a bunch of playas running around beatin' each other senseless! I'm worried about the safety of my superstars! Now crackas listen up! There's only one way to solve this! Rey Mysterio...Eddie Guerrero...you are hereby stripped of the Tag Team Championships! And that decision is final! Ya feel me?"
The big fight escalades now just after Long's announcement.
Tazz: "Did you hear that?"
Cole: "I sure did. Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero just lost the titles! But what's to become of the tag team titles now?"
Tazz: "I'm not sure. But I'm just being told that next...the Cabinet will come out and give a special presentation to the new leader of the Cabinet."
Cole: "Alright...the new Cabinet Leader revealed...next!"
The Cabinet walks out to the ring to "Longhorn" all wearing business suits. Orlando Jordan leads the pack to the ring with a microphone. The cameras look to the ring where we see flowers and a large object with a long black cloth draped over it. The ring is covered with red material and now Orlando Jordan enters the ring followed by the Basham Brothers.
Orlando: "Ladies and gentlemen....for weeks...I have been speaking with the man who will be the next World Heavyweight Champion after he defeats Batista this Sunday at Backlash! That's right...I've been talking with JBL and he has assigned us a new leader. A new role model for the Cabinet to look up to. Now...the only one other than JBL and the new leader of who this mystery man is...is me...your United States Champion...Orlando Jordan! The Chief Of Staff in the Cabinet! So without further ado...he's been waiting in the limousine for quite some time now...ladies and gentlemen...The Million Dollar Man...Ted Dibiase!"
Cameras cut to the parking lot where the limo continues to drive. Cameras follow it all the way to the square circle as Dibiase's song plays over the PA system.
Cole: "Can you believe this?"
Tazz: "Honestly...no, I can't!"
Cole: "The Million Dollar Man...Ted Dibiase...the new member of the Cabinet! I never expected anyone like this!"
The limo pulls up to ringside and the driver opens the door for the man in the backseat. Out comes Ted Dibiase who seems to have not aged a day from the last time he was on television. He holds his suit in classic fashion as he mounts the steps and into the ring. He looks on at his Cabinet members and laughs like he's known for. The Cabinet members are sucking up to Ted Dibiase by bowing to him as Orlando hands him the microphone. The music dies down as everyone is cheering in shock for the new Cabinet Leader.
Dibiase: "That's right! I am here! And I am the leader of the Cabinet! You know...when Mr. Layfield gave me a call...I was shocked. I never expected a phone call from a man of his stature. But of course...he's following in my footsteps. A self-made millionaire with dreams of becoming a legendary figure around here. And one day...I hope you three follow in his foot steps! I have been hired...to lead you! To guide you! To help you! To improve you! To teach you! And to train you! We're here together...working as a team! You know, I was watching SmackDown and I noticed that JBL basically made this Cabinet to save him from losing his title. Well...that's not what we're about now that I'm in charge! No! I'm here to have you guys work together as a team! We're here to teach everybody has a price...and everyone's gonna pay!"
Dibiase breaks into his classic laughter and the Cabinet mimicks him in a courteous gesture. Dibiase quickly stops.
Dibiase: "Don't mock me! You can suck up all you want! I'm not looking for you to copy my every move! I'm looking for you to show me you...at your best! I want to see your talented wrestling skills...not your ass-kissing skills! Now...I see you've got this ring all dressed up fancy for me...and I appreciate that! It shows respect. And the only way to get people to listen to you...is by gaining their respect. It's nice to know we don't have to work on that. Unlike that low class, untalented, low-life...Virgil! That piece of crap was a traitor! He turned his back on me! And look where he is now...huh? NOWHERE!!! Now listen up...if any...and I mean any ONE of you try to double cross me...you will regret it! You will pay! Now...I can't help but notice this large thing with the curtain over it. Is this a gift?"
The Cabinet delightfully shakes their heads yes. Dibiase makes his way over to the object and grabs the curtain. He rips it off and looks at it.
Dibiase: "...What the...???!!! Is this a joke??!!! What kind of stunt are you guys trying to pull here?"
The Cabinet wonders what's going on as they look at the object. They look to be angry after seeing it. Orlando Jordan asks for the microphone and receives it.
Orlando: "Boss...it wasn't like this before! I swear! We got one of the finest artists in Italy to do this...a beautiful painting as a tribute to you! But...someone messed with it!"
Cameras look at the painting and see a hand-painted portrait of the Million Dollar Man. It has been tampered with however. Some of the teeth are missing and there's a big eye patch over the right eye, similar to a pirate.
Orlando: "Carlito! I know you did this! Come out and pay for what you've done!"
Carlito's music begins to play and he makes his way out to the ramp.
Carlito: "You want me to pay? All I've got is a twenty. Now...don't get me wrong...that painting...that's cool! But it it wasn't me! But whoever did this...must be pretty cool!"
Stand Back...There's a Hurricane coming through!!!!!!
The Hurricane makes his way out to the ramp now with a microphone in hand.
Hurricane: "Carlito...injured? Watzupwitdat?!!!? That's alright...I understand...but I want that match with you when you're 100%! But as for you evil doers...I have to admit...Carlito's right! That's definetely cool! But it was not I! However...I do know who it was! Heeeeeeeeere's Charlie!"
Charlie Haas's music plays and he now joins Carlito and Hurricane.
Charlie: "That's right! I told the world that I was going to make an impact! So...is it a pretty big impact or what?"
The fans are cheering as The Cabinet is very upset.
Orlando: "You know what? I'm tired of all of this act! Why don't all three of you come down here right now and..."
Dibiase steals the microphone from Orlando's hand.
Dibiase: "NO! Save it for next week! In a six man tag match...we're issuing a challenge to the three of you!"
Carlito: "Hey...grandpa...turn up your hearing aid...adjust your bifocals...I'm injured! I can't compete!"
Dibiase: "Then find a replacement! Next week, you're all gonna see that everybody has a price! And everybody...is gonna pay!"
Dibiase's music plays as Haas, Hurricane, and Carlito begin talking with each other.
Cole: "Ladies and gentlemen...up next...Charlie Haas will take on Rene Dupree!"
Tazz: "That should be a good match...but what I'm looking forward to is the six man tag match next week!"
Cole: "Yes. Who will be the third man to team with The Hurricane and Charlie Haas?"
Charlie Haas Vs. Rene Dupree
Charlie Haas is taken down with a beautiful snap suplex. Rene Dupree does the French Tickle to the fans as Charlie races to his feet. The French Phenom turns around and receives a textbook T-Bone Suplex courtesy of Charlie Haas! Charlie goes for the cover...
Rene gets a foot on the bottom rope! Charlie drags his opponent to the center of the ring and locks in the Haas of Pain. Rene Dupree is on the verge of tapping out until the Basham Brothers break up the hold with vicious stomps. The official calls for the bell.
Winner: Charlie Haas by DQ
Charlie Haas is getting beaten down by the secretaries of defence until The Hurricane races back down to the ring and evens the odds. Rene Dupree gets out of dodge to avoid getting involved in the confrontation as Orlando Jordan comes down and nails The Hurricane and Charlie Haas with the United States Championship. Ted Dibiase is acting like a coach on the outside of the ring until...
One of A Kind echoes over the PA System and Rob Van Dam races down to the ring.
Cole: "Oh my god! It's Rob Van Dam! We haven't seen him in a while!"
RVD races to the ring and takes apart the Cabinet members with his educated feet. RVD sends the Basham Brothers flying over the top. Orlando Jordan tries to nail RVD with the U.S. Title however, Van Dam dodges it then nails Jordan with a spinkick to the skull. RVD climbs up top and is about to nail the 5 star frog splash but the Bashams and Dibiase pull him out of harm's way. RVD celebrates as Charlie Haas and Hurricane get back up to their feet. Everyone is chanting RVD's name as "One of A Kind" plays again.
Cole: "What a return for Rob Van Dam!"
Tazz: "It looks like he'll be taking Carlito's place in that six man tag match next week! That'll be off the charts!"
Cole: "Speaking of Carlito...I think Josh Matthews is waiting backstage with him for an interview."
Cameras cut backstage and indeed, Josh is with Carlito. He's wearing a sling on his arm and a neck brace.
Josh: "Thanks Tazz and Cole. Here I am...with Carlito Caribbean Cool! Now Carlito...last week you were on the verge of becoming United States Champion until..."
Carlito quickly cuts him off.
Carlito: "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Everyone knows the story already Josh...that was last week! Bringing up the past...that's not cool! In fact...your shirt...your pants...your two dollar haircut...that's not cool either! As a matter of fact...you're uncool! But yes...Undertaker beat me up! So what! My match with Hurricane postponed? So what! I'll live to fight another day. But The Undertaker...Carlito is not through with you! Just because you lost last week...you've been going on a little bit of a rampage? That's not cool! And let me tell you something you overgrown pile of..."
The lights go out.
Carlito: "Hey! That's not cool! Turn the lights back on!"
The lights turn back on and we see Carlito staring at the camera.
Carlito: "Much better. Now...any more questions Josh?"
Carlito looks towards the microphone and notices that it's a much larger hand holding it. It's also covered with a black biker glove. Carlito seems a little afraid as he follows the hand, the arm, and finally sees that it's...The Undertaker!
Carlito: "Well isn't it the guy who's too stupid to see that he's dead!"
The Undertaker stares down Carlito with his eyes rolled into the back of his head.
Carlito: "What? You mad or something? You going all crazy eyes on me? Is that supposed to mean something? What...are you mad because I cost you the WWE Championship Title shot?"
The Undertaker nails Carlito with the microphone and starts hammering away at him on the floor. The deadman picks up Carlito by the throat and stares deep into his foe's eyes. The deadman gets ready to chokeslam an already injured Carlito Cool until...
Long: "Deadman! Undertaker! Cut it out! Drop him!"
The Undertaker throws Carlito away.
Long: "As the General Manager of SmackDown...I can not...repeat CAN NOT allow you to injure superstars like you have been doing! So I'll tell you what I'm going to do...you name it...and I'll give it to you!"
The Undertaker, still with his eyes rolled into the back of his head stares at Theodore Long.
Undertaker: "...Give me...John...Cena!!!"
Long: "Then it's settled playa! Next week...you versus..."
The Undertaker grabs Theodore Long by the collar and picks him up.
Undertaker: "NO!!!!! Tonight!"
Long: "But he's injured..."
Long: "Okay...okay! Don't have to holla! Tonight...John Cena versus The Undertaker...but it'll be a non-title match due to Cena's injury."
Undertaker: "And Cena will...rest...in...PEACE!!!!"
The Undertaker drops Theodore Long like a bad habit and leaves.
Tazz: "Oh my god, Cole! Taker's on a killing spree!"
Cole: "Yes! And after last week...this looks to be John Cena's final appearance on SmackDown!"
Tazz: "It looks to be an early Judgment Day for John Cena!"
Cole: "Folks...it's Undertaker and John Cena...and it's next!"
Non-Title Match: The Undertaker Vs. John Cena
The Undertaker has dominted this entire match except for the opening sneak attack from Cena. The Undertaker picks up John Cena following a devastating chokeslam and delivers a tombstone!
Cole: "This is the end! John Cena's already got a bad neck!"
The Undertaker doesn't seem to be done yet as he picks up John Cena and delivers a second tombstone!
Cole: "Not again! Cena could be breathing his last breaths!"
The Undertaker picks up the WWE Champion for a third time and drives him head-first with another tombstone piledriver!
Tazz: "This is how SmackDown ended last week...five tombstones! Considering Cena walked in with a bad neck...it's got to be broken in half by now!"
The deadman does his finishing maneuver for a fourth time!
Cole: "It looks as if Carlito, John Cena, and Triple H have all basically worked together without knowing it. They've created a monster! This new Undertaker seems to be on a path of destruction until he's happy! And it looks he'll never be happy!"
For a fifth and final time, John Cena's head is driven into the mat with a tombstone. The Undertaker looks around and listens to the fans booing. Cameras zoom in on a few children scattered across the arena who are brought to tears over what has just happened to John Cena.
Tazz: "You know what Cole? About this whole Undertaker thing...have you realized that since this change his eyes have remained rolled into the back of his head? I haven't seen his pupils at all! The deadman seems to have crossed a fine line between good and evil! This is scary Cole!"
The Undertaker gets ready to pin the WWE Champion until he hears a spitting noise. It's Carlito's theme song! The fans are cheering as Carlito Caribbean Cool races to the ring with a chair in hand! Carlito slides into the ring, past The Undertaker! Carlito gets up to his feet quickly and smashes the chair across the head of the deadman! The official calls for the bell.
Winner: Undertaker by DQ
The Undertaker, instead of falling flat out, just stares down Carlito. The Caribbean superstar is now scared as he bolts out of the ring with The Undertaker stalking him. The fans tell Carlito to run as we see John Cena lying flat in the ring. They start up a "Cena! Cena! Cena!" chant but gets drowned out quickly by the sound of Triple H's music! The Game makes his way to the ring and laughs at the unconscious John Cena. He finds the new WWE Championship belt and throws it into the ring before climbing the ring steps. The music cuts out and everyone boos as The Game continues to mock the downed John Cena. Hunter picks up what's left of the WWE Champion and shows to the crowd that there's nothing left of him. Triple H gets tired of playing around fast as he sticks Cena' head between his legs and holds up his arms. The Game looks around to the crying and booing fans as he drives Cena's head into his own WWE Championship belt with a Pedigree!
Cole: "Well...if Cena's neck wasn't broken before...it is now!"
Tazz: "Triple H just picked up what was left and finished Cena off!"
Cole: "Will Cena ever be able to return from an injury like this?"
Tazz: "This could be the last time we see John Cena!"
Triple H steals the WWE Championship and celebrates up the ramp as paramedics make their way to the ring and check up on the condition of John Cena.
Cole: "We're saddened to see this at the end of our show. For Tazz, I am Micheal Cole saying goodnight!"