Finally Out of Cutey Sleep
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: The Fountain of Dreams
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Re: Presenting AOW: Art of War Wrestling - The Greatest Affair
Elix Skipper def. Kofi Kingston at (5:20)
The Hammerstein Ballroom – Manhattan, New York City, New York
“To Be The Man…”
“The Fight Song” by Marilyn Manson vignette
RVD leaps for a Frog Splash…
HBK cocks back, Sweet Chin Music ready…
Finlay and Joe go at it on the balcony…
Chris Jericho’s silhouette is highlighted…
*Opening guitar riff*
You'll never grow up to be a big rock star
The camera goes from the ground up to the face of Paul Wright in his debut Week 3
Celebrated victim of your fame
Shawn Michaels comes down the ramp, pumped up from the main event of Week 1
Just cut our wrists like cheap coupons
Christian searches for his peeps from Week 5
And say that "death was on sale today"
Bryan Danielson raises his hand, singing his theme from Week 4
*Upped tempo, heavier sound*
And when we were good
Jack Evans’ double moonsault from Week 1
You just close your eyes
Aero Star, Psicosis, and Super Crazy perform a Triple Asai Moonsault from Week 14
So when we are bad
Paul Wright chokeslams Michaels through the table from the Supershow
We'll scar your minds
A replayed shot of Shelton Benjamin German suplexing Paul London off the ladder from Week 4
SWEET CHIN MUSIC!!
SPEAR THROUGH THE TABLE!!
WORLD’S GREATEST DOOMSDAY DEVICE!!
FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH!!!
*Final cymbal crash*
Chris Jericho holds the AOW World title high in the air
The Hammerstein Ballroom is lit up for yet another edition of Oblivion, the crowd of 3,000 losing their shit for the penultimate showdowns before the Supershow next week. The camera is capturing an impressive sight tonight, however, in that the entire arena is chanting “AOW! AOW!! AOW!! AOW!!” in a very hive-mind manner, fists pumping, the scene almost mirroring the old ECW. When the camera panning seems have ended, the pumped crowd turns their chants to heat, as “MAD MAN” blares over the sound system and broadcasts the signal for AOW Dynasty Champion Muhammad Hassan who is surprisingly alone. He has the same bitter expression he’s had on his face since the inception of the company, as well as his Dynasty Championship around his waist, but perhaps more surprisingly is the fact that he has a briefcase with him. Hassan steps into the ring, head towel and all, before setting the briefcase down in a corner and making his way to the center of the ring with a microphone.
I am Muhammad Hassan and I am the AOW Dynasty Champion.
~A bit of heat for that very drawl intro
I have held this title almost as long as this company has been running. Before I even came to AOW, before I set foot back in a wrestling ring after an exodus, I had come into a great bit of wealth. I have more money in my pockets than some of you have seen in your entire lives.
~GREAT deal of cheap heat
And the thing is all of you have had the same opportunities I have. Actually, you’ve had more opportunities than I have had. Since I am Arab-American and in this country, many doors are shut in my face despite this being the “Land of Opportunity”.
~More heat, as we might be seeing where this is going
Still, with all those opportunities afforded to you, all many of you have any kind of drive to do is drop out of high school, sit on your couch, eat your artery-clogging fast food, collect welfare checks, and watch Jerry Springer.
~Even more heat, with a marginal “Jerry! Jerry!” chant kicking up, but Hassan puts an end to it quickly
And even when all you want to do are those life wasting things, you think you have the right to judge someone who has money. You think you have the right to look down on someone who dare had the guile to do better than you. You think you have the right to condemn those who have had the success you wish you did.
~Even more heat and even more of a Hassan bitter scowl
I have had to work tirelessly to amass my fortune. And the funny thing is, I’ve amassed it on your own selfish American dreams. Oil isn’t cheap, but you people continue to abuse it as if it were candy. And all that profit goes right into my pocket.
~Even more heat, even drawing an out-of-character comment from JBL
Against all the odds, I have succeeded. For years, “The Man” has tried to keep me down. But I have earned every single penny. I earned the right to be called a champion. But men like CM Punk are like you people – you waste opportunities only to get them handed to you because the system works in your favor. Because you think you’re entitled to my level of success. Because “The Man” still wishes for me to fail. And all of you had better –
The indy famous theme of none other than CM Punk rings across the arena to a wild roar with Punk himself soon bursting through the blood-red curtain with a look of DETERMINATION~!! on his face and a microphone in his hand. Punk scratches his head in a comical manner before stomping on down the ramp and rolling into the ring.
Wait, tell me again about all the hard work you put in and how I’m getting handed a title shot? You really aren’t any different than any other rich dude with a top hat, are you? You’ve deluded yourself to the point where you believe your own illusions.
[I]~Hassan stares Punk down to a buzz from the crowd[/I]
Let’s set some records straight right now. If I remember correctly, I remember you saying, from your own two lips, mind you, that your ‘fortune’ was handed to you because of your dead uncle. So you haven’t worked a day in your life, you’re just purely reaping the benefits of the sweat of someone else’s brow.
Not only that, but you’re saying I got handed a title shot that I didn’t earn? I have fought tooth and nail for weeks on end after you tried to stop me from even competing for that title you say you hold so proudly.
Of course you would come out here and change the subject. Make it all about CM Punk. Punk, Punk, Punk. I understand now why these people get behind you so, Punk. It’s because you’re exactly like them – you’re selfish and conceded. You really are the exemplary show of American piousness.
~Even more heat
Oh…oh I’m conceded? Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you the man who placed a bounty on my head to get the money back that he himself lost.
I came out here to be civil with you, Punk. I was going to do what any good businessman would. I was going to be willing to trade you all the contents in that briefcase for your shot at my Dynasty Championship.
~A great deal of heat as both men stare down, Punk shaking his head as Hassan points to the briefcase he brought with him
You really think I’m that stupid, don’t you?
~Hassan just looks at Punk and nods his head, which actually strikes a nerve with Punk
Well that’s yet another thing you’re wrong about because this street rat can’t be bought and sold.
And you’re wrong about one more thing, Hassan. And that’s that I don’t think I’m the best example of what it means to be an American. See, here in America – especially here in New York – whether you’re having the worst day of your life or whether you’re celebrating the best day of your life, there’s always one thing you do after every day of actually working for your money. And that’s grab a cold one.
~Big pop from the Hammerstein, Punk smiling as he looks around the arena to prove his point
And as you may know, Hassan, I’m not exactly the biggest enthusiast of alcohol. I’ve always kind of been an outcast growing up because I never wanted to take a sip of Bud when everyone else I knew did that. So some people didn’t like me, and still don’t like me to this day, because of that one character trait I had.
You’re doing nothing more than proving my point, Punk. You still can’t talk about anything other than yourself. I was in the middle of talking to these people about them when you just interrupted me and just want to start talking about you.
~Punk just stares a hole in Hassan for interrupting him
The point I’m trying to make here, Hassan, if you would be so kind as to let me finish, is that me being straight-edge and you being Arab-American, or even just being rich, if you were, are merely two traits about who we are. They’re two things that are outside of the norm for most people. But the biggest difference between me and you is that while you’ve chosen to just anchor down on your differences and pout, be bitter, and let the taboo define you…I haven’t done that. Yeah, being straight-edge is a huge part of who I am. But it doesn’t define me. What defines me is, quite frankly, being a professional wrestler.
~BIG pop from the crowd for that one, Hassan only looking at Punk through a still bitter gaze
But you’re right, you’re right. I am just being a selfish little goober and only talking about myself. Let’s talk about you, Muhammad Hassan. Let’s talk about how you’ve had everyone against you your entire life and now you have it all.
~Punk’s voice isn’t even sarcastic too much, actually sounding somewhat genuine. This peaks Hassan’s interest, as well as those listening
But see…there’s a quote that’s sticking out very prominently in my mind right now. And it was by another man who can be defined by a lot of things, but he also chose to be defined as a professional wrestler above all else. That man once said “To be “The Man”…you gotta beat “The Man!”
~Crowd pops a bit as various choruses of “Wooooos” start coming up all over the arena, to which Punk smiles to himself on
And just like you said, Hassan, you’ve defied the odds to stand here before me and all of these people as a success story. Hell, I’m just proud of you for coming out here by yourself and not bringing those goons that jumped me last week.
~A bit of buzz, as Punk’s tone goes more sarcastic in reference to The Mercenaries attacking him from behind last week
But most importantly, Hassan, you did beat the system. But you see how it’s come full circle? You say you’ve worked hard to get what you want. Now you see me working hard for what I want. You say “The Man” denied you for no real reason and that’s exactly what you’ve been doing to me. You complained about how “The Man” was keeping you down. But now you’re the one who’s trying to do the same damn thing to me when I’m the one that wasn’t born with a whole lot and had to scratch and claw for every little thing that I had.
~Hassan sees where Punk is going with this, but is only able to stare at him with more anger than we’ve seen in him before
So you’ve officially done it, Hassan. Yeah, you did beat the system. You silenced the naysayers, toppled the obstacles…you managed to beat “The Man”.
~Punk pauses to let that sink in to Hassan
And now you’re working hard to make sure no one else has any kind of success; holdin’ them down. Beating men they respect to a pulp.
~Punk’s face becomes much more stern as he references Hassan’s brutal beatdown of Lance Storm
So Hassan…as much as you don’t want to admit it…you’ve become exactly what you hate. You’ve become…“The Man”!!
HASSAN POUNDS THE MICROPHONE OFF OF PUNK’S SKULL!!! Punk drops like a stone to the canvas, the microphone selling the force that was behind that blow. Hassan’s face has a look of sheer anger written all over it; a look rivaled only by the one he had on his face when he attacked Punk in the Lucky 13 match several weeks ago. Hassan lays several boots into Punk at a rabid pace before forcing Punk to his feet and taking Punk’s tender back and ramming him spine first into a corner!! Punk’s back, which has seen perpetual damage over the last several weeks, buckles and causes him to fall in pain. He then takes Punk in his clutches and nails the Kligerman Drop, causing Punk’s face to be driven into the canvas. After a moment of just absorbing the heat, Hassan forces Punk to his feet and pushes him against the ropes, tying his arms up in a helpless crucifix position and leaving him completely defenseless before grabbing the mike again
Well then, Punk, while we’re on the topic of becoming what we hate, how about I be a good businessman and spread the wealth, huh? You’re right. You’ve had a hard day’s work the last couple of weeks…
~Hassan hangs on that word as he goes over to the briefcase he brought with him…pops it open…and reveals to us a bottle of Jack Daniels that he takes in his hand
…so how’s about a cold one?
~The crowd can already see where this is going, the unresponsive Punk at Hassan’s mercy, but there’s nothing anyone can do about it…
Like I told you last week, Punk, facing a man like me will take you places. But I never said they’d be places you were willing to go.
HASSAN FORCES THE LIQUOR DOWN PUNK’S THROAT!! Muhammad Hassan is forcing CM Punk to break his lifelong vow!! As Hassan hold’s Punk’s face still to do what he hates, the expression on Hassan’s face is captured in a very sick and demented close-up. When Hassan’s done pouring the bottle of hard liquor down Punk’s throat (and body), he goes back in his briefcase and pulls out…another bottle of Jack. He does the same thing again, this time holding his challenger by the throat and forcing his mouth open, pouring the poison into Punk. With immense heat being thrown at him, Hassan only gets halfway through that bottle before he stops and picks up the empty bottle in his other hand…and BREAKS THE BOTTLES OVER BOTH SIDES OF PUNK’S HEAD. This causes Punk to come undone from the ropes and fall forward, possibly suffering from alcohol poisoning and a concussion. The crowd is nearly in grotesque awe at what they’re witnessing but Hassan’s not done yet. He goes over to the possibly dead Punk…AND LOCKS HIM IN THE CAMEL CLUTCH!! Punk’s destroyed spine is worked over even more, as Hassan exalts to sell the intensity of the hold while the crowd slowly begins to crescendo into throwing more heat until Hassan lets go and causes Punk’s face to whiplash violently against the canvas.
I’m not quite sure we’ve had a more disturbing opening minutes than that, look at the face of Hassan. That truly is a man on the possible brink there.
Y’know, I’ve never been the biggest Muhammad Hassan fan, but after hearin’ the whinin’ from this joker in CM Punk, Muhammad Hassan really is a champion, he really does deserve everything he gets. He truly is an American hero.
Oh, you have got to be kidding me, John. Do you honestly detest CM Punk that much that you disregard everything he said? Did you not hear Punk? Muhammad Hassan has become the same exact thing he’s always said he’s hated and yet you want to tell me that he’s some kind of American hero?
Actions speak louder than words, Joey. CM Punk may do what he does best, and that’s do nothin’ but smart off at the mouth, but Hassan’s actions spoke more volumes than Punk’s whinin’ ever could. No matter what Punk said, no matter what Punk thinks, Muhammad Hassan is your Dynasty Champion, he is living the American dream, an’ he’s not the one lyin’ in a pile of liquor an’ shame.
You’ve said some outrageous things sitting beside me, Bradshaw, but this nonsense really has to take the cake. I haven’t the slightest clue what you have against that kid that you would side with a mad man like Hassan.
If you weren’t like these people an’ had your head stuck up CM Punk’s straight-edge ass, you’d realize that Hassan was completely right about Punk. He’s selfish, he’s conceded, an’ if you just heard what Hassan said, he was only out here t’do business with CM Punk an’ Punk wanted to go on about himself. So he’s not only a self-absorbed little punk, but he’s unprofessional at that.
Well John, you’re being pretty unprofessional right now because I don’t think we’ve even welcomed out audience to the program. This is how the penultimate AOW Oblivion to our Supershow kicks off tonight, folks, with CM Punk and Muhammad Hassan’s brooding feud coming to a head right before their huge match next week at A Very Merry War.
An’ I can guarantee ya, Punk’s not gonna be the only one lying in a pool o’ regret tonight.
Perhaps not to that degree we just witnessed, but we do have several huge matches here tonight, none bigger than our main event of the evening with Shawn Michaels, the man whose career goes on the line next week, facing off against the right-hand muscle of the Worthy Legion’s Chris Jericho in Paul “The Great” Wright.
Talk about dominating forces, Joey, probably the only force stronger than Wright since the beginnin’ of AOW might just be th’ Worthy Legion itself.
That very well may be true, but also tonight we have two teams of dominating forces going head to head – the World’s Greatest Tag Team, our AOW Tag Team Champions, go toe-to-toe with a team who suffered their first loss last week to the Sons of the Dungeon in the Samoan Fight Club.
An’ in the latest aohdubya.com news is any indication, the Fight Club is not happy with their loss last week headin’ into their absolutely huge ladder match next week.
Both of those big matches are later on tonight, but we also have a message from the man that we know as Rob Van Dam. We haven’t heard from RVD since it was announced that he could no longer compete for any kind of championship in AOW where he sort of started having an identity crisis. Where is RVD? What’s on his mind? We’ll finally find out tonight.
But comin’ up next – this should be a fun one!
On the other side of the break, “The Warrior” known as Low Ki goes face to face with the man who defeated his tag team partner on numerous occasions in Ken Doane. Will the proud warrior be able to defend the honor of his fallen friend? Or will the brash and aspiring impact player in Doane make even more of an impact?
We return from the break to see AOW Owner Paul Heyman making some motions with a bunch of buff guys in security shirts around him.
Okay – you guys need to take the south end, you guys take the north end, and you guys – I want you to guard the roof. He’s a crafty guy so he could come in anywhere possible. If you can’t see their face, don’t let anybody got it?
~The security guards give Heyman a quick “yessir” before flanking dispersing and flanking, but Heyman stops a pair of them
Woh, where are you two goin’? You’re just gonna leave me here by myself?? I need protection too! My life’s been threatened!
~Heyman motions for the two guards to follow him as he walks away and we fade back to ringside…
~Back at ringside…
That note Heyman got last week is really working on his nerves, isn’t it?
I saw a man that was calm in th’ face of death, Joey. I don’t know what you were lookin’ at. But hell, if somebody sent a note that they were gonna ‘dispose’ of you, you’d be a little on edge, too.
Well wouldn’t you, John?
I fear no man, Joey. Just the IRS.
On that rare quip of JBL comedy, “THE PROUD WARRIOR” booms over the sound system to a good pop, as Low Ki bursts through the curtain with a very stoic expression. Jack Evans actually follows close behind his tag team partner, but halfway down the ramp, Ki turns to Evans and doesn’t say a word. Evans seems to get the message, giving Ki a salute, then walking back up the ramp to the back and leaving the very proud warrior to do this duel alone.
“I AM THE FUTURE” hits to a decent amount of heat now, as Ken Doane flips the curtains back and struts out with his cocky flair. He’s wearing the hooded vest he introduced several weeks ago before snapping the hood off and walking with his nose in the air towards the crowd. He gives a cocky smile to Ki as he steps into the ring, apparently very much sure of himself here
Ken Doane v. Low Ki
Ki and Doane begin roaming around in the ring and trying to size one another up, Kenny with his cocky flair immolating still very much, while Ki’s expression hasn’t changed since he sent Evans to the back – incredibly focused. The near expressionless Ki is the first man to actually make an action, as he quickly darts in on Doane, grabbing a leg, but Doane keeps his wits about him enough to backhop on his free leg into a corner and dipping his head between the ropes, forcing referee Goose Mahoney to make Low Ki release his grip. Ki does so hesitantly, but as he steps away with his arms raised, Doane darts from his false prone position right back at Ki, who still has a major heads up, and throws Kenny past him into the ropes. As Kenny looks to bounce back, Ki preps for the rebound by hitting one of his ever deadly kicks, but Doane has him well-scouted and doesn’t even rebound, pulling instead on the ropes and darting outside the ring to perhaps regain his breath after almost having his head kicked off.
While Doane gets major heat for pulling that move, the referee is trying to keep Ki from the ropes and going outside after Kenny, who rubs his chin for a bit before sliding back in the ring very tentatively. It’s back to square one here, as Doane and Ki circle the ring once more, but it’s Doane this time who strikes first after both men get in a lock-up. Doane gets Ki in the headlock, but Ki whips Kenny into the opposite ropes, Ki getting hit with a shoulder block. As Doane rebounds again towards Ki, the warrior surprises Kenny by springing to his feet and again attempting a beheading side kick that Kenny notices mid-stride and abruptly changes direction of his charge, again rolling out of the ring to avoid being destroyed by those legs.
As the crowd continues to berate Doane, he chirps back at them to shut their faces. Ki is getting incredibly restless at this point, going over to the ropes to try and grab Doane himself, but Kenny is quick to realize this and hits Ki with a guillotine drop that sends Ki flying backwards. Doane is now suddenly quick to climb back into the ring and stalk Ki, going for an RKDOANE…NO!! Ki doesn’t go down or even push Doane away. Instead, he grips around Doane’s waist and tries to execute a German suplex, but Doane manages to find his way out of that…only to turn around and get a fierce shoot kick to the gut! Doane finally feels the feet, doubling over and dropping to a knee from the sudden kick. While he’s hunched over, Ki stays on him and hits him with a feint roundhouse to the back of the head!! Doane goes down, getting Ki the first cover of the match – 1…2…NO!!! Doane manages to get a shoulder up!!
We still get a close up of Doane’s face, where he’s possibly in a state of shock from the blow. He starts to recover by getting on all fours and starting to crawl to his feet, but Ki is quick to get back on the attack and hits him in the face with a front dropkick!! Doane turns over himself on that move, Ki again getting a cover – 1…2…NO!! Doane again thrusts a shoulder up, grabbing the bottom rope and using all the ropes to make it to his feet.
Ki doesn’t let up, finding Doane on the ropes and giving him a fierce CHOP(Woooo!!) that sends him reeling again. Ki backs up and sizes Doane up once again, going for another roundhouse kick to the skull, but Doane shoots underneath this one towards Ki’s stationary leg, torqueing it as Ki goes down! Doane seems to have opened up a weak point in one of Ki’s strengths. Doane then rapidly delivers a trio of elbow drops to the inside of the leg before lifting up on it, hoping to totally remove the appendage from Ki’s offense. He then takes Ki’s ankle under his arm before spiking the leg into the canvas, putting all the more damage on the leg. Ki is in noticeable pain as he tries to limp to a base, but Doane is now the pitbull on offense and takes Ki and drives him into a corner, sandwiching him and hitting him with blow after blow and wearing him down. Doane takes a second to take a step back and take in some heat before charging back at Ki, but the remaining educated foot of Ki rolls over and hits Kenny in the face with a rolling wheel kick out of the corner!! Ki slides over for his third pin attempt of the match – 1…2…NO!! Doane breaks out of that as well. As Doane recovers, he gets to one knee, which Ki responds by attempting to hit him with a shining wizard…that misses…back kick from Ki…Doane dodges that and turns it into a swift neckbreaker!! Doane with his first cover, hooking the injured leg – 1…2…NO!!
Doane keeps on the offense, grilling Ki now with a clothesline and a suplex before setting him up for his backdrop-to-neckbreaker move, but Ki wiggles his way out of that and rolls Doane forward with a headlock before both men get back to their feet and Doane throws Ki into the ropes, which Ki gets hit with a Doane clean-leaping back elbow. Before Doane can get a cover, however, Ki manages to grit his teeth, quickly get back to his feet, and kick Doane right in the chest!! This is followed by another kick right to the chest, sending Doane back a few steps. Ki looks to finish the combo with one last big roundhouse to the head, but Doane ducks and catches Ki from behind, completely hitting his backdrop-to-neckbreaker maneuver!! Doane for another cover – 1…2…3-NO!! The Warrior still has some fight in him!! Kenny is growing tired of this, proceeding to target Ki’s weakened leg again with several stomps and even a jumping knee drop before taking Ki up and surprising with a double underhook suplex. Doane floats right over for another cover – 1…2…NO!! Ki stays live a little longer. As Doane tries to lift Ki to his feet once more, Ki begins firing back with stiff blows to the side of his cocky opponent’s face before getting enough room to leap over and nail a springboard enseguri he calls the Tidal Wave!!
The feet of the warrior are at it again, Kenny dropping like a stone en route to the apron, where he tries to bring himself back up with a glazed expression. Ki starts sizing Doane up once more, shaking the cobwebs out of his hurt leg and tumbling towards Doane with a Tidal Crush…SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK FROM DOANE MID-MOVE!! WOW!! The commentators point out the time Ki took to tend to his hurt leg cost him precious time and allowed Doane to recover, but both men are feeling the impact of the move – Ki the dropkick itself and Doane the fall to the canvas. But Doane is the first to recover after the lull moment and crawl over to the downed Ki for another cover – 1….2….3-NO!!! Ki stays in things!! Kenny nearly punches Goose Mahoney in the face after realizing he only got two, taking another shot at Ki’s worked over leg instead. He then takes Ki up and props him on the top rope, possibly looking for a big time move here…but Ki fights Doane off, hitting him with several blows to the ribs before surprising Doane with a headbutt to the solar plexus, knocking Doane off the top completely and making him splat onto the canvas. The crowd is popping as they know what might be coming as Ki adjusts himself on the top rope…his hurt leg giving him some trouble…ready…WARRIOR’S WAY!! WARRIOR’S WAY!! But Ki is hurt! Ki manages to hit his finisher on Doane, the damage to his leg causes it to buckle on the big impact and forces him to roll away from Doane clutching his leg in pain.
Both men are down and unable to make a move, Ki pounding the canvas in frustration at knowing he probably can’t capitalize. He grips his hurt leg and starts dragging his body over to Doane, who sells the stomp to his ribs well, clutching them as he tries to recover on two knees. Ki forces himself to stand up, gimpy leg and all, and looks at Doane with a vengeance before looking for one more killer roundhouse…but Doane dodges that one as well, but when Ki comes all the way around from the huge kick…RKDOANE!! RKDOANE!! Ki’s head is planted into the canvas!! Doane takes a moment to take in a breath before literally falling from his knees on top of Ki – 1…2…3…!!!
Winner: Ken Doane at (9:40)
And Doane’s knocked off both members of Low Jack!! Doane raises his hand and tries to wipe the surprised look off of his face, clutching his possibly broken ribs from the Warrior’s Way impact. But he then snatches his arm away from the referee only to being climbing to the top rope and opens his arms, possibly going for the guillotine leg drop…but here comes Jack Evans!! Evans comes storming down to the ring to protect his partner, reversing their roles from last week! Evans forces Doane to come down from the rope, throwing at him a furious array of lefts and rights, then forearm shots before whipping him into the opposite rope and hitting him with his cartwheel elbow smash!! The crowd’s on fire for the man on fire, as Evans looks to maybe make a combo out of it and finish it with a bulldog…but Doane has enough in him to push Evans off with Evans rushing back towards Doane…RKODOANE TO EVANS!! Both members of Low Jack are on the canvas now, Doane with a look of anger in his eyes. He then proceeds to the top rope like he did before…before HITTING EVANS WITH THE GUILLOTINE LEG DROP!! Ki was trying to get to his feet to stop it, but could do nothing but watch his tag team partner get dismantled, as Doane crawls out of the ring with his eyes still on Ki as he walks back up the ramp with a smile, still selling the blow to his ribs.
That kid keeps makin’ more an’ more of an impact every single week.
But at what cost?
Whaddya mean what cost? It doesn’t cost him anything!
At the cost of one of the brightest rising tag teams here in AOW?
Well then that’s their fault that they can’t touch this kid. It don’t matter how much of a ‘proud warrior’ or high-flyer you are. If someone’s better than you, then they’re just better than you!
I should’ve known you’d defend Doane. There’s more Oblivion coming up on the other side of the break.
As we to the Hammerstein, we see Super Crazy bouncing around the ring for the first time since his tag team partner, Psicosis, injured his ribs a few weeks ago. Crazy is all set to compete before a sound many of us are unfamiliar with hits the sound system…
**QUIEN SOY YO**
A very upbeat Hispanic hip-hop track greets our ears, as the man who presumably those video packages the last several weeks have been about steps on through the blood-red curtain. The announcers do confirm that it is none other than Carlito Colon, who makes his way to the ring. He’s got on a white blazer over an otherwise uncovered upper body, a towel behind his neck, his purple wrestling trunks on, and a microphone in one hand as well. He’s got a great deal of swagger to him before reaching in one of his blazer pockets with his free hand and takes out…a half-dollar? Carlito soon steps into the ring to approach Crazy.
Damas y caballeros, feast jour eyes de personification of perfection standing before ju. And his name…is not “Super Crazy”. His name is Carlito Colon. And everybody loves Carlito.
~Seconds into his AOW debut, and this guy’s already starting to get some heat
See, The Colon wrestling family is royalty in Puerto Rico. An’ so Carlito only likes to associate himself with de best of de best. And ju…das definitely not ju. Jour not cool.
~Carlito makes a nasty face on that description, leading Super Crazy to shrug his shoulders and the crowd to start delivering more heat
Carlito doesn’t associate himself with losers like these people, either. Because dese people pay good money to see other losers. Only a bunch of pendehos would pay der hard earned money on garbage like de New York Jets.
~The ultimate resort of cheap heat is reached, the entire arena giving ‘lito hell now
Dere’s only one thing dat people like you are good for. An’ das shining Carlito’s boots.
~Carlito takes the half-dollar he has in one hand and flips it towards Super Crazy, who catches it before lifting up one of his boots towards Crazy and tossing him the towel he has behind his head. The crowd is throwing a great deal of heat at this potential humiliation now, Super Crazy staring at the towel in his hand.
Make’em nice an’ shiny, mang.
~Super Crazy’s face twists into one of disgust, as he throws the towel back at Carlito to a nice pop
Hey! Watch it! Dis blazer costs more than jour life! Now jou’re going to shine Carlito’s boots wit’ dis towel or Carlito’s going to shine dem himself with jour face.
~Super Crazy throws the half-dollar coin back at Carlito to another pop, getting a scowl from the big-haired amigo. Crazy then momentarily turns towards the crowd to acknowledge his deed, but as he does so, Carlito rips his blazer off and tosses it at Crazy, blinding him for several seconds as Carlito lays plenty of blows onto him. ‘lito then rips the jacket off of him and makes some space between them, causing the actual bell to ring.
Carlito Colon v. Super Crazy
As the crowd continues to throw heat at the pompous Latino ass that is ‘lito, but as they do, Super Crazy is trying to recover in a ring corner. He’s sitting at the base of the corner, with Carlito looking on very smugly, putting his fingers through his hair for a second before rushing at the sitting Crazy and erasing his nose with a hard facewash! ‘Lito stays on the ropes for a second and maintains his smug expression as the crowd throws heat. He then points to the tip of his boot saying “I told ju he’d shine’em wit’ his face!” before leaning off the ropes and watching Crazy’s body slump. He then takes a few steps back into another corner before pointing at his opposite boot and saying “now let’s clean de other one”. Carlito rushes back towards Crazy looking for yet another facewash – but Crazy manages to move out of the way and rolls ‘lito in a school boy on the way out!! The cover – 1…2…NO!! The royal Latino kicks out!
Carlito is able to roll back to his feet, Crazy shooting right back at him, but Colon beheads Crazy with a diving clothesline!! The body of Colon was all behind that lariat, a fierce expression taking over as he pushes himself back up to pick Crazy up by his hair. Once he’s vertical, Colon rebounds off the nearby ropes and hits Crazy with a running knee lift before he keeps running off the ropes behind him and finishes the combo with another beheading clothesline. Crazy goes down, Carlito covering – 1…2…NO!! Crazy still has something in him. Carlito grabs a fist full of Crazy’s hair and delivers several hard blows to his face before standing up and kicking Crazy in said face with a boot before checking it to see if he messed up the shine. Crazy uses that momentary vanity to rise back to his feet and deliver a pair of forearms to ‘lito’s temple, knocking him off balance a bit before rushing into the ropes behind him looking for offense…but Carlito scoops up his momentous opponent and puts him on his shoulders before spinning out…fireman’s carry flapjack!!
Colon pauses for emphasis on that move to stare into the eyes of the ‘losers’ around the arena. He doesn’t bother covering, instead opting to just get back to his feet and roll over the limp Crazy with his foot. He runs and leaps over Crazy’s body before hitting him with a springboard senton before keeping his momentum going and going to the opposite set of ropes where he nails a springboard moonsault!! A beautiful display of athleticism there, but again, the very cocky Carlito doesn’t go for a pin. Instead, he waits for Crazy to groggily get to his feet while stalking him from behind…BACKCRACKER!! Crazy sells it like a champ, acting as though his spine were destroyed, allowing ‘lito to breeze on over for a count – 1…2…3…!!!
Winner: Carlito Colon at (3:47)
Carlito removes himself from the body of Crazy with a very confident smile before looking at Crazy with disgust. He walks by the body of his fallen foe, wiping his boots on Crazy's hair before reaching into his tights and pulling out...an apple. As if on cue, 'lito takes a big bite out of the apple...and SPITS IT RIGHT IN THE DOWNED CRAZY'S FACE!! 'Lito then adds insult to injury by using his foot to rub Crazy's face in the apple juice before walking back up the ramp with the utmost swagger in his step, collecting the half-dollar Crazy threw at him as it lies ringside.
Well, an impressive debut by the man we've been looking at in those videos the last several weeks in Carlito Colon, a man who says he's here to...make people shine his shoes?
I like him. The man knows the value of a good pair of boots an' remindin' people of their place.
Yeah, because that's what AOW needs. More guys who think they're above everybody else and trying to rub it in their faces with their feet. And look, he just completely unnecessarily spit a freakin' apple in a man's face! Who does that?
The man comes from a rich wrestling heritage, Joey. He's not gonna associate himself with anything that's not the best. An' that's why he's here in AOW to show why he's better than all the rest.
~Backstage, Paul Heyman’s office…
Sir. There’s a Dave Finlay here to see you.
Uh…let him in, but stand really close to me.
~The pair of security guards flank Heyman as Finlay does indeed walk into the office
You promised me a match this week, Heyman.
Correction – I said I’ll see what I can do. And I can’t do anything because you never told me what your business is with Rob Van Dam.
I’ll keep my motives to myself.
Well then I’ll keep you out of the ring until you do.
~Finlay keeps his permanent scowl as he almost jumps at Heyman, but the pair of buff guards become an iron curtain for Heyman
The man who loves to fight had better get talking if he ever wants to fight again.
~Finlay’s scowl turns into a very small smirk as Finlay laughs to himself as he walks out of the room…
I don’t know what Finlay has in mind, but up next, the man who Finlay cost the AOW Championship. The man who has fallen to an identity crisis last we saw in Rob Van Dam finally gives us a message. But where exactly is RVD? I guess we’ll have to find out next.
Welcome back to AOW Oblivion on our final show before we come to you with our Supershow next week, but the road to that show has been littered with many things since our first Pay-Per-View, World Ablaze. One of those things lining that path may well be the psyche of Rob Van Dam.
We’ve talked about it before, Joey. This man has gone on record saying that he’s not “Rob Van Dam”. The confidence that we know of RVD is long gone an’ his sense of identity is just shattered.
Indeed, just talking with his wife, Sonya, last week, explained that Rob looks like he doesn’t remember anything lately. RVD was sent to his home in California after losing his rights to fight for gold, but we haven’t heard from his since. Until right now – a message from the man we know as Rob Van Dam himself.
**Video footage of an empty arena**
We get a good look all around an arena, with no one in the seats, not a soul to be found. This doesn’t look like the Hammerstein at all, but one that might be familiar to some. The camera keeps panning to empty and silent seats until we come upon one that has Rob Van Dam seated in it. RVD’s not wearing wrestling gear, but merely a T-shirt and some shorts. His facial hair seems to have grown untrimmed since we saw him last…
This is the ECW Arena in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I’ve been told I’ve made many a curious memory here.
~Van Dam looks up at the camera
I’ve been told I did things in this arena to completely revolutionize the way people looked at professional wrestling. Here, an extreme empire was built on the shoulders of one man.
~Van Dam puts his head back down, his hands clasped together
But that was a different man. His name was Rob Van Dam. I used to know him, but now I’m not sure what I know anymore. All I do know…
~RVD stares very intensely down, pausing and his voice growing sterner…
All I do know is the man they call Rob Van Dam. Is. Dead.
~RVD still doesn’t look up, but in an empty arena, the word ‘dead’ echoes through the annals of time…
The right to fight for championships was taken from me. I can’t be the heart and soul of AOW without it. I’m not the man people say I am. I am…nothing. I am no one. I am not Rob Van Dam.
~RVD looks back up, but he doesn’t look directly towards the camera. Instead, he looks straight ahead.
Even though the ghosts in this arena still do their chants and hold up their signs and pump their thumbs…I can’t feel it anymore. I’m numb.
~The camera pans to get a good look at RVD’s face, frozen in a tranquil display of madness
And because I can’t feel, I don’t know what to expect. I don’t know a past and I don’t know what the future holds. But what I do know…is that I, whoever I am, will be at A Very Merry War.
~Van Dam sustains his intense stare
But I won’t be competing. Because that’s Rob Van Dam’s place, and I can’t be him. But what I will do is speak for him. I will speak on me. I’ll be there to make an announcement regarding Rob Van Dam and what he’s left behind…
~“RVD” lifts his head
…if he’s left behind anything at all. Or maybe both he and I can just share our emptiness with the world…
As he says that, the camera pans back to again show us the empty ECW Arena. The camera keeps pulling back and back until Van Dam is a mere speck in the scene. Then, row by row, the lights in the arena start to cut off, from the outside in. RVD’s row is the last one to be lighted, almost a spotlight on the dissociated man. It dramatically cuts off, the arena now an empty abyss…
~Backstage, the Green Zone Interview set…
Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time, a good friend of Rob Van Dam’s – Samoa Joe.
Joe, we just saw Rob Van Dam deliver a very wrenching message from Rob Van Dam himself. We all know you two are close friends, but can you give us a little bit more insight on what might be going on? What might RVD’s big announcement be?
Y’know what, Steve, no offense, but I’m kind of in an asskicking mood. RVD is a very close friend of mine, but that message didn’t make me wonder what his announcement might be. No, all it did was make me even angrier at the men who put him there in the first place. I’ve said it time and time again – I will run through everyone who is responsible.
Uh speaking of which, Joe, you do face Bobby Lashley next week at A Very Merry War. Do you have any thoughts on that?
Not really, Steve. I mean, there’s gonna be no thought process at all. Bobby Lashley cost a good friend a shot at the AOW title twice. Bobby Lashley cost me a shot at the AOW title. Last week, he speared me into the crowd. I’ve done all the thinking a man can do about this. There’s no more reasoning, now it’s just time to do. Now it’s just time to go out there and clean out the scum of this company by kickin’ some ass.
~We hear a pop beyond the walls as Joe leaves Romero to digest that as we fade away…
Upon our return to the ring, we hear the daunting sound of “JIMBO” echo across the threshold, giving way to the Samoan Fight Club to come through the big red curtain with a great deal more vengeance in their steps than they’ve had the last several weeks. They stomp into the ring and pay no one any mind as they prepare to get going.
“WORLD’S GREATEST” hits now, as the AOW Tag Team Champions World’s Greatest Tag Team comes down the ramp, but they’re walking with a great deal of lost…confidence? The champs don’t walk to the ring like champs, their ‘code of silence’ in full force, but there’s an air of disappointment in their steps. Possibly from coming so close to losing their titles and getting themselves in this situation in the first place…?
AOW Tag Team Champion World’s Greatest Tag Team v. Samoan Fight Club
We’re brought to this contest roughly five minutes into the action, the Samoan Fight Club dominating from nearly the ringing of the bell. Charlie Haas has been the man that has been at the mercy of the fighting islanders, eating several tag team combos before beginning to mount his own offense a little when Siaki misses a corner clothesline attempt. Haas is finally able to get something going with a picture perfect dropkick that knocks Siaki down and allows Haas to flop into his corner and tag in Benjamin, who goes right to work on Siaki. Benjamin storms the ring and whips Siaki towards Haas, who hits him with a very momentous European uppercut that sends Siaki reeling into the grip of a Benjamin German suplex!! Benjamin with a cover – 1…2…NO!! Siaki keeps his team in this. Benjamin follows this move up by quickly trying to catch Siaki in a chin lock, but Siaki doesn’t plan on staying in it for long. With the hold still locked in, Siaki surprises Benjamin with a big burst of strength and sandwiches him between he and a corner. Both men stumble out, Siaki still feeling some effects of the tag team move he was hit with, but he’s able to tag in Manu.
The 290-lb wild juggernaut enters the ring and sees a hurt Benjamin in the corner, running across the ring to greet him with a huge corner body splash!! Benjamin collapses at the base of the turnbuckle, leading to Manu showing his strength by yanking Benjamin back vertical WITH AUTHORITY~!! Benjamin eats several vicious elbows from the big man before Manu just grabs Benjamin by the neck and side of the head and chunks him out of the corner halfway across the ring. Benjamin grits his teeth as his spine whips off the canvas, Manu quick to stay on top of him with a chin lock of his own. Benjamin stays in this much longer than Siaki did his, but he puts up a struggle before finally making it partially vertical before Manu changes gears and turns the chin lock into a shoulder vice, Benjamin going back down on both knees. Manu’s heavy breathing sells the move’s intensity (and his beastliness), but again through gritted teeth, Benjamin makes it to his feet and delivers some solid elbows to the big man’s tender ribs. Benjamin hopes to build a head of steam by rebounding off the ropes and hitting Manu with a big clothesline…but the big man doesn’t go down. Benjamin tries again, only to be met with a beheading Manu clothesline that just rips the gifted athlete’s head clean off his shoulders. Manu grabs Benjamin and tags Siaki in, whipping Benjamin into the ropes and kicking him in the gut with a shuffle side kick that doubles Benjamin over, leaving Siaki to finish the combo with a running corkscrew neckbreaker. Siaki covers Benjamin now – 1…2…3-NO!! Charlie Haas flies in to break the count!
While referee Ray Ramsey is ordering Haas out of the ring, Siaki takes advantage by chunking Benjamin in his corner and choking him with his foot, the referee unaware of the rule bending. When Ramsey turns his attention back to the action, he’s met with a Siaki snap suplex to Benjamin with another cover – 1…2…NO!! The rule bending doesn’t pay off there, Benjamin more than willing to fight this one out. Siaki looks to knock all that fight out of the tag champs, as Benjamin gets to his feet, he’s stalked by Siaki. The smaller Samoan then unleashes a flurry of MMA style punches in bunches at Benjamin, going from his ribs to his temple, but Benjamin is able to block several of them, even catching the last one aimed for his head and knocking Siaki with a clenched fist of his own. Siaki tries another punch, but Benjamin blocks that one as well and delivers another response blow before hitting Siaki with his own flurry of punches. Siaki responds with a hard back elbow that may have caught Benjamin legitimately stiff, sending him off balance. Siaki rushes at him for a clothesline, but Benjamin ducks underneath and grapples Siaki’s neck…inverted suplex!! Wow!!
From nowhere, the athlete hits a very difficult move and starts to turn the tide of this thing! Benjamin is crawling to his corner now, Siaki trying to pry himself from the mat. Benjamin has to turn his whole body to even be in the right direction, while Siaki has a straightforward crawl…and he makes the tag to the big man, who flashes surprising speed for a huge dude and actually catches Benjamin’s foot as he makes one last leaping lunge towards his corner, just a fingertip away from Haas for dramatics sake. Manu pulls Benjamin away, but Benji forces him to let go when he twists around and hits Manu with the dragon whip!!
This dazes the wild Samoan enough to let the grip go, but he doesn’t go down. Benjamin leaps back to his corner and tags in Haas anyway to a big pop, Haas leaping into the ring with a flying reverse elbow right in Manu’s face…and he STILL won’t go down! He’s knocked a little more dazed and off balance, much to the dismay of the tag team champions. Benjamin climbs to his feet quickly on the ropes, he and Haas momentarily looking at one another before conjoining for a DOUBLE SUPERKICK THAT FINALLY FELLS THE BIG MAN!! Haas leaps onto him with a big cover – 1…2…3-NO!! Siaki bursts into the ring to save his partner, throwing Haas off of the body and against the ropes before hitting Haas with a Cactus clothesline, both men tumbling to the floor!! All four men are down now – Haas and Siaki on the floor, Manu in the ring, and Benjamin struggling to recover on the apron as we cut away.
Back from the break, we find that Charlie Haas and Manu are still the legal men, Haas surprisingly on the offensive. A shot of what happened during the break shows that Manu tried to destroy Haas when sitting up against the steel ring steps, but Haas dived out of the way and sent Manu crashing into the unforgiving steps. Back on the live action, Haas tags back out to Benjamin, both men delivering double back elbows before Benjamin takes Manu and tries to whip him into a corner, but Manu reverses it and whips Benjamin into said corner instead. The quick reflexes of Benjamin, however, get him to leap onto the middle rope and back at Manu with a second rope diving clothesline!! Benjamin is able to knock Manu down once more, going for a cover – 1…2…NO!!
Manu powers his way out of that cover, but the big guy is clearly weakened. The WGTT looks to continue to capitalize on that, Benjamin tagging back out to Haas. Both men take Manu and attempt a double backdrop, but Manu wiggles a little bit before getting both men to put him down, turning around and hitting Benjamin with another clothesline, but Haas dodges and manages to rebound off the ropes and tries to take Manu out with a running crossbody…but Manu catches Haas across his chest and walks a few monstrous steps before roaring towards the crowd and throwing Haas like a rag doll with a spinning side slam!! Immediately after throwing Haas down, Manu tags back in Siaki, who explosively enters by flipping over the top rope and hitting Haas with a somersault leg drop!! The impressive move lands Siaki right on Haas’ neck and shoulders, prompting him to just reach over and grab his legs for a cover – 1…2…3…NO!! Shelton Benjamin dives like a madman to shove Siaki off!
Benjamin may not know where he is exactly, but he does know his team came so close to losing. Siaki is pissed and charges after Benjamin, but ref Ramsey has already shooed Benji from the ring. Siaki turns back towards Haas and nails him with several forearms before whipping him into the corner and hitting him with a hard running back elbow. Siaki looks confident now, whipping Haas into the opposite corner and looks to hit him with another corner elbow…but Haas rolls forward and out of the way! Siaki stops himself before he collides with the iron post, but as he turns back around and rushes at Haas, he’s greeted very rudely with a belly to belly suplex!! Both men are down from that sudden impact, Haas struggling from all the damage he’s taken, while Siaki just has the wind knocked out of him.
Siaki rolls out of the ring to possibly get his lungs back, Manu almost climbing into the ring and getting the ref’s attention. As Charlie Haas crawls to his corner to possibly bring Benjamin back in this, Benjamin is yanked off of the apron by Siaki!! Benjamin’s spine splats against the padded outside; the referee seeing none of it thanks to Manu. Haas is now a sitting duck, peering through the ropes from his stomach and seeing the damage done to Benjamin, while Siaki rolls back in and successfully tags in Manu. Manu sees Haas still downed, running at him and looking for the running diving headbutt…but Haas rolls out of the way at the last minute, onto the ring lip!! Haas waits for Manu to recover, looking for something with a big springboard…BUT MANU CATCHES HIM IN A CRUSHING SAMOAN DROP!!! WOW!!! Manu rolls the Haas over before chiming the team catchphrase as the count goes on – 1…2…3…!!!
Winners: Samoan Fight Club at (15:03)
They did it!! The Samoan Fight Club just handed the World’s Greatest Tag Team’s first loss since gaining the titles and only their second loss overall!! Siaki rolls back into the ring and shoos away the referee, raising Manu’s hand in victory alongside his own. Manu roars inhumanely to get a reaction, but the crowd is actually starting to buzz right now. We’re left wondering why for a moment, when suddenly the SFC are struck from behind by American Made…with the AOW Tag Team Championships!! Siaki goes down hard, Manu dropping to one knee. Jack Hagar takes the title in his hands and gets a better grip before launching it off the skull of Manu!! Payback from a couple of weeks ago on the Fight Club!!
But American Made isn’t done there. They both take the fallen Haas and pull him up into their powerbomb/neckbreaker tag team maneuver known as the Patriot Act!! Adding insult to Haas’ potential injury! Hagar and Nameth absorb all kinds of heat now, as they hold the tag titles high, proclaiming they should be rightful champions when “EXECUTORS OF EXCELLENCE” hits the stage, and the Sons of the Dungeon come rushing down the ramp and sliding into the ring, getting into it with their rivals. The two teams start a brawl, with Smith knocking Nameth down and Wilson whipping Hagar towards Smith, who promptly catches him in the running powerslam of his father’s name! The team then takes Nameth and performs their variation of the Hart Attack!! Several bodies are down now, AM rolling out of the ring, and the Sons of the Dungeon stand tall alone!!
…but we’re not done!! Suddenly, Shelton Benjamin enters the ring and beheads both Sons with…A LADDER!! Shelton Benjamin’s brought a ladder into the ring!! He’s knocked both men down in one blow, but Smith rises back to his feet first, only for the champion to blast him in the face once more with the ladder!! Smith goes down hard, Benjamin standing alone in the ring now! He takes the weapon of mass destruction in his hand and sets it up center ring like it’s meant to be used and…starts climbing it? His motives are unclear, but not long after he starts climbing, the recovering Wilson starts to climb the other side, and we’ve got a preview of what will most definitely be going on this time next week! The race to the top stops when Wilson gets there and the two have a trading of blows, giving us even more of a preview, the crowd absolutely on fire for this exchange. But both men look down in fear, as what they see at the bottom of the ladder is a barely awake Manu…WHO TOPPLES THE LADDER OVER!! BENJAMIN AND WILSON GO ALL THE WAY TO THE FLOOR!! The still disoriented Manu drops back to the canvas after throwing over the ladder, every single man in the ladder match next week all lain out in and around the ring.
This…this looks like a damn car wreck!
It ain’t pretty, Joey, but this is just a small – an’ I do mean small – sneak peek at what we’re gonna get a glimpse of next week at A Very Merry War.
There are literally bodies lying everywhere – the mighty Manu is down, American Made is decimated, Benjamin and Wilson just fell straight to the floor from fifteen feet in the air…and you’re right partner, this is only a portion of what we can expect next week when these four teams enter the same ring and vie for the same prize – those AOW Tag Team Championships.
I tell you what – before tonight, my money was gonna be on Shelton Benjamin an’ Charlie Haas. They’re the only guys in this entire match that have any kind of ladder match experience and that’s when they won those titles for the first time. But after what I jus’ saw? I saw three hungry an’ I do mean hungry teams that want that gold more than the air they breathe.
I’m with you on that partner – the World’s Greatest Tag Team asked for better competition and they got it in the form of that four team ladder match – they try to walk away with their gold against American Made, the Sons of the Dungeon, and the Samoan Fight Club, three young and insatiably hungry tag teams next week at A Very Merry War.
But that’s far from all we’ve got for ya next week, kiddies.
Oh no, Bradshaw. We just saw at the top of the show how intense these two men can get, leading to CM Punk possibly getting in Muhammad Hassan’s head and Hassan responding by pouring alcohol down Punk’s throat and further damaging Punk’s back. With so much riding on this – money, the name of Lance Storm, and his own pride – will CM Punk be able to obtain the Dynasty Championship from “The Man” who has kept him down in Muhammad Hassan? Or will Punk be knocked right back down the ladder and have to fight for it all over again?
I’ll tell you what, Joey, it’s no secret that I’m not CM Punk’s biggest advocate. But I will admit the kid’s got a lot ridin’ on this. I really do wanna see how this kid responds to this much on his plate. If he can’t be a clutch player, then he honestly an’ truly doesn’t need t’be the “professional wrestler” he claims to be defined as.
Muhammad Hassan’s ‘street rat’ saga with CM Punk very well may be coming to a close, but we’ve also got a clash of the titans – Samoa Joe says he’s going to clean up the scum of AOW one piece at a time and he wants to start off by taking on one of the men who cost his friend Rob Van Dam the AOW Championship and possibly his mind in Bobby Lashley.
Lashley doesn’t say much, but the man’s got a mean streak a mile long. But I think he’ll be tested here. Christian Cage might have taken Lashley to his psychological limit an’ he had to resort to desperate measures in that. But he’s gonna get more than his physical match next week.
And speaking of what they did to Rob Van Dam, we just heard from RVD just a few moments ago – the man we know as Rob Van Dam is in there somewhere. He’s not completely lost. And he will be here next week at A Very Merry War to give us an announcement that he says has been the hardest thing he’s ever had to think about.
We can go all day about speculation an’ all that, but RVD just needs to walk away. He doesn’t know who he is an’ he’s a shell of his former self, as much as it saddens me t’say that.
That’s a story that is very close to my heart as I have mentioned, but whatever decision or announcement Rob wants or needs to make, I will back and support him one hundred percent.
But then of course we have a match with even more ridin’ on it than anything so far in AOW.
That is true, Bradshaw. The Heart Break Kid. The Icon. The Showstopper. The one and only Shawn Michaels may see his grandeur career coming to a close. Because if Shawn Michaels does not defeat Chris Jericho for the AOW Championship, his in-ring career is over. There’s no more title shots, no more ‘showstopping’, no more anything. And as the masterful and manipulative “Worthy Man”, you can bet Chris Jericho has more than something probable up his sleeve.
That man is a worthy champion an’ he has shown us the light on more than one occasion an’ he’s gonna do it again when he removes the stain that is Shawn Michaels from our lives. HBK’s had a hellova career, but there’s always a time to call it quit.
You’d know something about forced retirement, wouldn’t you John?
I haven’t the slightest notion of what you’re speakin’ of.
And all of that is coming to you right here in the Hammerstein Ballroom next week, December 26th, for our second ever two-hour Supershow called A Very Merry War. And if tonight is any kind of indication, a war is what it indeed will be for everyone involved.
~Backstage, a locker room area…
We reach the backstage area where we see Shawn Michaels for the first time tonight. He’s wrapping his wrists with some tape before someone walks in the door behind him…
Bryan. Was hopin’ I’d get to see you again.
~The camera turns to reveal the face of Bryan Danielson, his Cruiserweight Championship in hand and a bandage still over his healing orbital bone
Hey, HBK. I heard you were looking for me…?
I have been. Y’know, I haven’t exactly been on everybody’s favorite person list since I’ve been here. I know you said you used to look up to me. And I’ve kinda been nothing but a disappointment to you because I’d never seen a match of yours. But I just want you to know that I’ve seen every single match you’ve had since World Ablaze. And kid…you deserve every second you have with that thing.
~Michaels points at Danielson’s CW title, almost making the Dragon blush
I appreciate it, Mr. Michaels.
That’s not all I wanted to see you for. I wanted to thank you for a few weeks ago. I was this close to losing everything and then you kind of came out of the blue. And like I said, I know I haven’t been the shining example you’d possibly had of me but if I don’t win my own title next week and if I didn’t get the chance to thank you personally, that I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself for.
It was my extreme pleasure, Mr. Michaels. There’s no real need to thank me.
I wouldn’t be able to look at myself in the mirror if I didn’t.
~Michaels extends his hand to Danielson and the two extremely gifted men share a handshake and a brief embrace, Danielson walking out of the room and Michaels staying silent and stern…
I think it’s finally hit Shawn Michaels that this may be one of the last matches of his career and it will be one of the biggest obstacles of his career – coming up next, Shawn Michaels goes one-on-one with Paul “The Great” Wright.
As we return from the break, the Hammerstein BOOMS in ovation as “SEXY BOY” his the stage as the clock hits 10:25 and Shawn Michaels comes bursting through the curtain, more jovial than usual. Perhaps he’s more than covering up for his grim situation…? Whatever the case, Michaels leaps into the ring with a big grin on his face and poses possibly one last time for the Hammerstein faithful before dancing a little bit more to his theme song.
But his celebration is cut short when “KING OF MY WORLD” hits the speakers, as the 7-foot tall, 400-lb behemoth that is Paul “The Great” Wright takes his giant strides down the ramp. Mysteriously, he’s not flanked by Lashley or Jericho, his stablemates, as he has his intense eyes locked right on Michaels. The camera is focused on Wright so much that we don’t notice someone creeping in behind Michaels as he has his deathstare with Wright…SWEET CHIN MUSIC TO THE STALKING CHRIS JERICHO!! Chris Jericho was coming up behind Michaels, but HBK proves yet again to be much savvier than the master strategist in Jericho! For the fourth week in a row, Jericho is absolutely beheaded with the Superkick, but Michaels isn’t done. Wright has stopped moving at the base of the ramp, almost shocked that Michaels thwarted them so easily. HBK takes the KO’d Jericho in his clutches and TOSSES HIM THROUGH THE ROPES ONTO WRIGHT!!
Wright catches his stable leader and stumbles a little bit from the force, but he’s able to stand upright and put Jericho down on the outside, Jericho rubbing his jaw from the kick right to it. He’s extremely flustered that his sneak attack didn’t work. So much so, in fact, that he’s gesturing at the entrance stage for someone to come down…when Bobby Lashley bursts through the blood-red curtain and storms the ring, Wright following close behind, leaving Jericho on the outside. Jericho doesn’t stay stationary, roaming around to the announcer’s table…and picks out a steel chair.
Lashley and Wright stalk Michaels, forcing their prey into a ring corner. As the two slowly corner the Showstopper, Jericho slides into the ring on his final front, steel chair in hand, all three men obviously having this be a premeditated assault. Michaels’ eyes dart between all three men, not sure what to do…before going after Wright first, who promptly catches him with one arm and throws him right back into the corner, Michaels’ historically bad back taking the blow. Michaels grips his back for a quick second before going right back at Jericho’s ‘beasty’ with furious rights and lifts, only for Jericho to smash Michaels’ spine with the steel chair!! Michaels has no choice but to collapse on that one, as Lashley stalks him and awaits his recover…SPEAR!! SPEAR!! SPEAR FROM LASHLEY!! Michaels is ripped apart by the big man, but to add to it, Jericho crushes Michaels with the chair once more!!
Jericho then starts dragging Michaels to his feet, looking for this mugging to continue. He pulls him up by his hair before leaving his face open for Wright to finish him off, when suddenly the crowd begins to buzz yet again, this time because Bryan Danielson has sprung onto the apron!! He delivers a forearm shot to Lashley before launching himself off the top rope and nailing Wright with the flying knee strike!! Wright spins on the impact of the blow, but he stays standing by leaning on the ropes. Danielson’s a house-a-fire, the crowd pumped up too, but just as quickly as it shows up, its extinguished when Jericho catches Danielson with a Codebreaker! Danielson flops back, eagle spread, as Jericho veers down at his fallen prey like its an insect.
Jericho slowly approaches Danielson now, pulling him up and leaving him open, awaiting Wright’s recovery. As he does, he looks at the decimated Michaels and screams at him.
“You see this, Michaels? This is what you’ve done! You’ve destroyed an entire generation! This is what you’ve done, not me! Can you look yourself in the mirror now? Huh? Can you forgive yourself for this”
RIGHT HAND KNOCKOUT PUNCH TO DANIELSON FROM WRIGHT!! Danielson drops like a rag doll, his orbital bone potentially broken again after getting clocked by a fist the size of a bowling ball. Jericho’s face has gone from frustrated to boarderline insane, as it contorts into a very twisted smile. All Michaels can do is vainly reach his arms out as if to try and stop the fighting, but he’s just decimated right now. He tries crawling over to the downed body of Danielson, but Jericho stomps the bug out with another steel chair shot to the back! Michaels rolls over in pain, turning his attention back to Danielson, who is trying his best to get to his feet. Unbeknownst to him, Bobby Lashley is sizing him up now, perhaps preparing to gore him in two, when suddenly…
**MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT**
SAMOA JOE!! SAMOA JOE!! Joe charges the ring like a madman as the crowd pops wildly, immediately getting into it with Lashley. Jericho has to force himself in the middle of both men, while Wright tries to hold back Joe, who gives Wright a backhand chop to the neck for his troubles. This surprises the big man and throws him for a loop, Jericho ordering Lashley to get out, while Jericho follows suit. Wright soon responds to Joe’s chop launching ANOTHER KNOCKOUT RIGHT…BUT JOE CATCHES HIS HUGE FIST!! Almost something out of a cheesy action movie, Joe’s caught the bomb that is that fist!! As we see perhaps the first sign of struggle on Wright’s face in AOW, Lashley and Jericho pull on Wright's gigantic legs and force him to slide out of the ring, Wright keeping his eyes on Joe, while Lashley stands in front and shares this gaze. Joe dos a cut-throat motion before pointing at the trio of men on the base of the ramp before going over to help Danielson get to his feet. Joe doesn’t bother, however, to pick Michaels back up on his feet. HBK instead has to use the ropes as crutches to get up and stay up, staring a hole in Joe.
Things just hit such a fever pitch, we never even got a match off and going!!
You can’t even get a word in with these guys. All of’em want each other dead!
Samoa Joe making it abundantly clear that he still isn’t on Shawn Michaels’ side, Bryan Danielson sticking to Michaels’ side, and Shawn Michaels possibly now letting it sink in that next week could be his final match in a wrestling ring period.
Call it what you want, Joey, but what I just saw from the Worthy Legion, Joe, Michaels, all of’em, they all did the same thing here tonight – they declared war.
And each of those wars will accumulate next week on our second ever Supershow, A Very Merry War, a two-hour spectacular! I’m Joey Styles alongside Bradshaw from the Hammerstein Ballroom where tonight, we declared war!
The final image of the penultimate edition of Oblivion before that War is the Worthy Legion, not with their tail between their legs, but a dominant looks on their faces, looking to dominate another day, while the one-man army of Samoa Joe stands holding up the bleeding fighting Cruiserweight Champion as Shawn Michaels looks very exhaustingly at the damage that his involvement alone has caused as we
~A Very Merry War~
December 26th, 2007
*Special 2-Hour Supershow*
~AOW Heavyweight Championship~
*If Shawn Michaels loses, he can no longer compete*
Chris Jericho(c) w/Paul “The Great” Wright v. Shawn Michaels
~AOW Dynasty Championship~
Muhammad Hassan(c) v. CM Punk
Rob Van Dam makes an announcement
Samoa Joe v. Bobby Lashley
*4-WAY LADDER MATCH*
~AOW Tag Team Championship~
World’s Greatest Tag Team(c) v. American Made v. Sons of the Dungeon v. Samoan Fight Club
Yes, this show is considerably late and I apologize for that. Was hoping to capitalize on that huge plug for the thread I did, but you guys called it an 'interview'. Hope you guys enjoyed that, btw. Didn't wanna bore anyone with it. As for this show, it's most definitely not my best work, and I'm sure most'll grill me on the constant beatdowns and such. On that note, this show won't be up for very long, as AVMW preview shouldn't be far behind. So no predics just yet.
Again, hope all enjoy this somewhat