Finally Out of Cutey Sleep
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: The Fountain of Dreams
Re: Presenting AOW: Art of War Wrestling - The Greatest Affair
Originally Posted by aohdubya.com
Another round of exclusives, this time the site for all things AOW is giving you not one, not two, but FIVE brand new bits!! This go 'round, we've got The Mercenaries and Muhammad Hassan making a business decision, and two pairs of call-and-response videos: Jack Evans and Ken Doane aren't done, while the Tag Team Champions throw the gauntlet at American Made, who throw it right back.
Spoiler for The Mercs do good business:
We open to a scene that looks like it’s from last Oblivion, Paul Burchill still in wrestling gear and dripping in sweat, rubbing his Superkicked chin. He’s going through the halls and finding a locker room door that he opens and enters, meeting both his partner and apprentice, Brent Albright, and his benefactor, Muhammad Hassan. Hassan doesn’t look happy, while Albright stares stoically.
What the hell did you think you were doin’? I paid you two to protect me in that match!
Hold on, Hassan. You haven’t paid us squat for weeks! You keep telling us that when someone beats CM Punk for that money, you’ll give it to us. You haven’t paid us a dime in almost a month. And y’know what? I’m starting to get a little bit tired of it.
I’ve been doing my part. I’ve been contacting banks and getting the money, but somehow it’s not getting to you. Even the finances this American greed loves is messed up.
Hey, hey, hey. Don’t blame anyone else. That’s your money. And by now, it should be our money.
~Albright steps in between the warring benefactor and his mentor, opting to look his mentor in the eye
You uh…you threw me over the top rope tonight, Burch. What was that supposed to teach me about…?
~Burchill stares at his partner for a moment
I told you, youngblood, it was nothing personal. But what we’re here for is gold. I saw a chance, and looked at everyone in the ring with us. Unfortunately, it had to be you. But believe me, it was nothing personal, mate. It was just…business. You need to learn that sometimes, you have to do things for yourself. Then do what you have to do.
I can understand that…but seeing you out there in the main event and then listening to you two just now, it gave me an idea.
It’d better be about getting my money from that rat.
Actually, it is. See, right now, I see a chance. And Burch is right – what we’re here for is gold. But we’re also here to collect our dough. So I’m sure you won’t mind next week, Hassan, that I’ll be taking on CM Punk in that Bounty Challenge. I can get our money you owe us AND get a shot at that gold.
~Hassan looks somewhat dumfounded, his eyes growing wide as Albright points to the title on Hassan’s shoulder. Burchill just stands and gives a very proud grin
I’m sure he won’t mind that at all, youngblood. He is a smart businessman. And, after all, this is just business.
~Burchill leads the way back out the door, but Albright stays behind for just a second, looking right at Hassan…
It’s nothing personal.
~Albright now follows Burchill out the door, never taking his eyes off of Hassan or the Dynasty Championship as we fade away…
Spoiler for Jack E. sees the warrior's way:
We’re in a scene that looks like the Green Zone backstage, but standing in said scene is the team of Low Jack – Jack Evans and Low Ki. Ki is trying to look straight ahead at the camera with his arms crossed, but Evans is off to the side laughing at something on the television screen…
Do you see that, Ki? Lemme rewind it so you can see it –
~Evans rewinds the TV to show us that he was watching Ken Doane’s 30-second elimination from last week’s main event
That’s pretty flippin’ hilarious, ain’t it? Thirty seconds!
~Ki just stares back at Evans with a serious look
Oh, don’t give me that tough guy look.
~Ki keeps staring at Evans before lifting an eyebrow
Alright, alright. Yeah, it’s good enough that that’s captured on video for the entire world to see what a loser Ken Doane is. But nothing’s really immortalized until it’s captured…in song. So to…commemorate this terrible achievement, I, DJ Jack E., have written a rap for this occasion.
~Evans says this phrase with oodles of false sophistication. He then clears his throat before looking at the camera
“Impact Player” must –
~Ki unfolds his arms and stops Evans from speaking by placing a backhand on his shoulder. We then get to hear Low Ki’s deep voice into a microphone for the first time in AOW
Jack. Before you go off on Ken Doane, just know somethin’. According to the warrior code, you are only as good as the last man to beat you. Who was the last man to beat you?
And Ken Doane got eliminated in a few seconds. So you’re only as good as you’re mockin’ Ken Doane for being. And if you’re calling him a loser…what does that make you?
~Evans has completely stopped in his tracks, his mouth suspended in his train of thought, now realizing what Ki’s getting at here and gets serious
Y’know what, Ki? You’re right. I’m not gonna rap about it. Ken Doane, you and me, a rematch this Wednesday on Oblivion. Lemme set this…“warrior code” record straight.
~Ki nods and crosses his arms again, looking proud of his tag team partner for the first time in their history. Evans stares at the camera with purpose as we fade away…
Spoiler for Ken Doane hangs the 'code':
We’re brought to a simple white backdrop, Ken Doane soon stepping into the frame wearing his same vest-hoodie we saw him debut several weeks ago
Yeah, I’m not gonna hide it. I did get dumped out of the ring in thirty seconds in the Lucky 13 Battle. But see that’s because I was the biggest threat. The number one priority of everyone in that ring was to get rid of me before I could do any damage. Lucky for everyone else, Samoa Joe got to me first
~Doane sniffs quickly before flicking his nose with his thumb
And see all I was trying to do was protect the Worthy Legion. I saw Bobby Lashley in danger, and so I set out to do what was right and help a friend in need. But nobody sees any of those things. All anybody wants to say is “Kenny, you got dumped in half a second; Kenny, you didn’t deserve to be in that match” and I say to those people SHUT THE HELL UP!!
~Doane is almost eating the camera at this point
And now, Jack Evans wants a rematch? With me, The Impact Player extraordinaire? All because he’s pissed that he’s ‘as good as me’? Please. Low Ki’s feeding you lies, son. You’ll never be as good as Ken Doane. So you and everybody else can hold your lame insults, Jack E. That elimination you wish broke me will only fuel me to not just beating you yet again…but destroying you and anyone else in my way. That’s my “warrior code”.
~Doane stares intensely in the camera, breathing heavily as we fade to black…
Spoiler for Champions with a broken heart:
We’re brought to what looks like Oblivion last week, Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas still in ring gear and both looking very pissed, possibly over their elimination earlier in the night. They’re virtually stomping through the halls when Benjamin sees somebody and pulls them into the shot. We notice that it’s Super Crazy, Benjamin yanking Crazy into the center of the shot, both champs flanking him on the sides. Crazy is somewhat behind both men.
That…that was some class, y’know that American Made? I mean, we’ve been talking about you guys having absolutely no respect for people like we knew what you were about, but we were wrong.
We were dead wrong. We through we knew how bottom dwelling you guys are, but you proved us wrong. You’re even farther beneath that than we thought. Sneakin’ behind us in a ring full of other guys and throwin’ us over?
~Haas shakes his head in disappointment and anger
It’s a disgrace to call you two the #1 Contenders for our titles. We hold these titles with respect and that’s something you two know nothin’ about. Because we have…what did you say it was, Crazy?
"El Corazon de los Campeones." The Heart of Champions.
That’s it. We got it. But you don’t.
As a matter of fact, if you guys are the next best guys for our gold, I almost don’t want to know what the rest of the division is like. See, we’re competitive guys. We live off that. And if there’s no other team in the division with…
~Haas points to Crazy
"El Corazon de los Campeones." The Heart of Champions.
With that, then maybe we just need new competition.
Nick Nameth. Jack Hagar. If you’re really as good as you think you are, you’ll bring it to us face to face. But until then, you guys ain’t worth squat. Because you’ll never have…
~One last point to Super Crazy
"El Corazon de los Campeones." The Heart of Champions!!
~Super Crazy screams that last one into the camera
…and so you’ll never have these titles.
~Benjamin pats his belt as he and Haas stare back at us with incredibly angry looks before fading away…
Spoiler for American Made makes a challenge:
We see another blank background, Nick Nameth and Jack Hagar, American Made, waltzing into the frame very casually.
Tsk, tsk, tsk. Shelton and Charlie. You guys just don’t get it, do you?
~Nameth looks over to Hagar with a “the don’t get it” look before looking back to the camera
We don’t show you any respect because we simply DON’T respect you. We just know we’re better than you. So we don’t respect you because those titles should very well be ours.
~Hagar nods in agreement
Now see, we’re pretty impatient guys. So we really want to prove to you that we’re better than you. But more than that, we really, really just want those Tag Team Championships to come rest on their rightful patriotic shoulders. We don’t need “Heart of Champions” to be champions. We just need those straps to fit around these gorgeous waists.
~Nameth and Hagar both grin as they both motion around their waists
But we can’t wait anymore. Our Manifest Destiny is right around the corner. And by right around the corner, we mean this coming Oblivion. We’re not gonna wait until the Supershow to get what’s ours. So listen up, hacks! We, American Made, will take you on THIS WEEK for the AOW Tag Team Championships!
~Nameth and Hagar’s cocky smiles disappear for a moment
That’s right. And we’ll show you just how strong your competition really is.
And trust us. The rightful and respected team will walk out with those titles. And from one pair of All-Americans to another - we guarantee it.
~AM’s cocky smiles reappear as we fade away, their teeth almost being beacons of light in the fade to black…
The Hammerstein Ballroom – Manhattan, New York City, New York
“Atone the Alone”
.:Confirmed for Oblivion:.
~Muhammad Hassan’s Bounty Challenge~
CM Punk v. Brent Albright
Ken Doane v. Jack Evans w/Low Ki
~AOW Tag Team Championships~
World’s Greatest Tag Team(c) v. American Made
Thanks in bunches for the nice crop of feedback, gentlemen. hebtheeagle, welcome to the section and no problem on you feedbacking the wrong show. As for this bit, these are NOT the best of the bunch as far as exclusives go, but I hope they do the job and understand (storyinewise, anyway) why they're getting done. No news to report and the confirmation card is essentially to serve as another half-assed show preview. I'm falling out of favor of doing those, actually. But there it is. Hoping to get the next show up by Monday or so before my last wave of exams smack me in the face. Hope all are well (and maybe Melvis posts a PPV ) 'til then.