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post #106 of (permalink) Old 04-22-2012, 03:24 AM
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Planet USA
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Re: 1,000 things we've learnt from WWE over the years.

130. STF can make anybody tap out even though it's just a cheap glorified chin lock. We have no idea why.

131. If you travel to some hick town down south and stop in a fast food joint or dirty local bar you have a 90% higher chance of meeting a professional wrestler.

132. If your a pro wrestler named Shawn Michaels you have to find god later in your career. If your not you just continue to have great sex with whores on camera.

133. The only woman in the professional wrestling business that isn't bat shit insane is Harvey Whippleman.

134. Smarks can hate everybody from Goldberg, Tazz, Triple H, Hogan, Warrior, and Edge but Stone Cold and the Rock can do no wrong.

135. Jobbers have a lot to say on shoot interviews probably because they aren't too afraid of losing their spot or stepping on the wrong toes.

137. Chris Masters did roids and got fired twice. Batista did roids and retired a very wealthy man.

138. Wrestlemania is the one time of the year your friends get to make fun of you for being a pro wrestling fan.

139. Remember World War 3? No you don't.

140. John Cena's new finisher will be the smirk of doom.

141. Never rag on Kurt Angle or Scott Hall for getting arrested for being alcoholics and/or doing stupid shit they need help and are just innocent professional wrestlers that can do no wrong or harm. If it's Matt Hardy or Jeff Hardy put your CM Punk avatar up and jump on the band wagon. You don't know why everybody is ragging on them as they can do no wrong either but assume it's because CM Punk must have a personal beef with the Hardys.

142. If your a life long professional wrestling fan ignore MMA especially UFC at all cost. Make up grandfather taught, good government style lies about UFC and paint WWE as the only company that matters. Put UFC in the class of TNA and ROH as a inferior product to WWE and when Brock Lesnar fought in UFC spam MMA thread with pro wrestling angles breaking out during the fight like F5! F5! Steel chair! Paul Heyman! 1-2-3!

143. Bigger pee pee than you= Bland and boring monotone talking superstar. Irish Curses, curse ALL with Irish genes muhahahahaha.

144. Wrestlers are not lazy...... Until they show up on my TV screen.

145. By the way did you know that Superstar Billy Graham did steroids? Just thought you should know that.

146. Promos in a southern accent > Promos in 2012.

147. Kevin Steen is not fat. He's big boned.

148. Only one black diva on the roster because she's Michael Hayes girlfriend.

149. Mark Henry worlds strongest man for 10 years and running.

150. After losing their tv deal in 2022 WWE becomes like 50plusmilfs.com. Anybody under 50 can't be on the website making crack whore Ric Flair the new world champion at 75 still going strong. Wait and they lost their tv deal?

151. To be the man you gotta blow the man.

152. Abdullah the Butcher contracted Hep C from the House of Horrors electric chair.

153. And if you don't like that brother then as far as I'm concerned bro you can stick it brother.

154. Your 35 and a virgin but don't worry there's always Missy Hyatt or Terri Runnels in your future.

156. Chris Benoit was Vince McMahons illegitamate son and the Benoit family was taken out by Waylon Mercy during a bizarre case of homicidal somnambulism instructed by Vince McMahon to Paul Bearer who controled Waylon Mercy during sleep with the Undertakers urn. This explains the case of the guy on wikipedia and Nancy Benoit talking to Paul Bearer on the phone about how small his penis is and asking for information about the doctor who was prescribing testosterone to Benoit, Vince McMahon, and especially Batista.

Last edited by ViolenceIsGolden; 04-22-2012 at 03:44 AM.
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