Finally Out of Cutey Sleep
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: The Fountain of Dreams
Re: Presenting AOW: Art of War Wrestling - The Greatest Affair
~“…somebody, please…get some help…”
~“Check his breathing…is he…okay, we have a pulse…”
~“Bring the gurney over…”
We finally cut to an image from the dark screen, but we immediately wish we hadn’t. The image is that of Rob Van Dam, lying in a pile of stage equipment. It appears as though Van Dam has fallen from a great height and crashed through the rubble, potentially slammed through it all. We see a few folks in the background, with several officials and EMTs, but Torrie Wilson and Bryan Danielson are present at the scene as well. The EMTs are having some difficulty bringing him up until Samoa Joe comes into the frame and helps them.
The Hammerstein Ballroom – Manhattan, New York City, New York
"Reinforcements of the Army"
We’re brought to a Hammerstein in somewhat disbelief at what they just witnessed on the AOW big screen, but it seems to dissolve a bit when Paul Heyman comes through the curtain to a great reaction. Heyman looks determined, as he should. He’s got a lot on his mind and, judging by recent events, he’ll probably have even more to think about…
Uh…I’m sure you all are uh. . just as stunned as I am at what I just witnessed. I will address this as the night goes on, but I do have some very important announcements.
~A certain amount of buzz
Tonight, I’m here to present to AOW an idea that will completely revolutionize the way people view the wrestling world.
See…after several weeks of attempting to get ourselves a much wider audience with a few Pay-Per-Views…get ourselves a little bit of money-in-pocket, you know, to make this company as good as it can be for you people…
~A big pop for the address to the Hammerstein
After several weeks of trying to get that arranged…I finally got an answer. See, the folks in the front office finally granted us a 2-hour edition of Oblivion on Wednesday, September 26th.
~A big pop for this
Now that’s not a Pay-Per-View Sunday like we wanted. But we’ll take it. And we’ll use it to have the single most explosive show the entire modern wrestling world has ever seen. Because we’ll use that pair hours to have ourselves a little Supershow. Like that?
~The Hammerstein is in total agreeance
Now…in case you folks haven’t noticed, it’s a little difficult, even for a bright mind like mine, to run a brand new wrestling promotion. And it’s a tad difficult to put together a 2-hour program on national television without a hitch, too. So I’m gonna need a little help.
~A little buzz
Now…we were granted this opportunity on the grounds that we will get more people watching and garner more interest in this company – on our own. Now my hired help – any and all ‘cavalry’, I suppose – I might get better be able to get people watching.
~A little more buzz. Who’s this ‘hired help’? Who’s the ‘cavalry’?
So I need a man who can draw a crowd. I need a man who can get people to turn on the telly and watch. I need a man who can put…butts. .in. .seats…
~A little bit of buzz, as many may know where this may be going…
So ladies and gentlemen, without further ado…I would like to introduce to you all the first-ever General Manager of Art of War Wrestling Oblivion – MIIIIIIIIIICK FOOOOOHHHH-LEEEEEEEE!!!
The Hammerstein EXPLODES, as “WRECK” plays on the sound system as the man, the myth, the Hardcore Legend Mick Foley comes through the blood-red curtain. Clad in his signature Foley flannel, Mick makes his way down the aisle, shaking a few hands before getting into the ring and shaking hands with Paul Heyman to an even bigger pop. Once this occurs, Heyman presents us Foley and leaves the ring, giving Foley the floor.
You made a good move here, Paul. We all know that when you hire Mick Foley, you get a four man work staff for the price of one.
~A dig at his own personal psyche; the crowd popping for it
It feels great to be in a place where madness is more than welcome.
~Another huge pop
As much fun as I’m having right now, I’m here to get down to business. It’s my first day and I’m already a main event down and a Rob Van Dam short. I’ve got a two hour spot to fill in three weeks. So let’s get to it.
~Great round of buzz
On the first ever two-hour edition of Oblivion, we will have matches to decide who will become not just the first ever Cruiserweight Champion, but also something we like to call the AOW Dynasty Championship. Who’s gonna be the guys to fill those spots? I’ll be paying close attention to everyone’s matches from now until then.
~A solid reaction to two more champions being crowned in a few weeks
We still have one more set of belts to find a home for – the AOW World Tag Team Championships.
~A pop for the tag division
I’ve taken great note of the World’s Greatest Tag Team. I’ve also taken great note of Paul London & Brian Kendrick. They’ve traded wins and have shown they have what it takes when pinfalls and submissions are involved. But you see…I’m a hardcore kind of guy.
~A grand pop
So that is why next week – not in three weeks – NEXT WEEK, those two teams will face off against each other to see who’ll be the first ever AOW Tag Team Champions…IN A LADDER MATCH!!
~A great pop for this one
But those are in due time. Tonight…tonight, as you all have seen, we’re a man down. Rob Van Dam was supposed to face Chris Jericho tonight for the AOW World Championship. But eh…RVD is unable to compete for the remainder of the evening…
So unless someone –
Someone in the opening segment is cut off for the second week in a row by the playing of “SEXY BOY”, as Shawn Michaels comes down the ramp to a very welcome ovation. HBK’s expression is a bit happier than last week, but he slides in the ring, where he and Foley share in a great embrace.
Mick Foley. I was afraid I’d never see you again, Mickey!
I was afraid I’d never see you again, ol’Haitch Bee Kay!
Yeah well, I was. .y’know. .just in the neighborhood and I just so heard that you’re a main event short. Now I don’ know whatchu were gonna do ‘bout that, but good ol’Haitch Bee Kay has a proposition for ya, matchmaker Mickey.
Matchmaker Mickey. I like it. Lay it on me, Shawn.
Why waste the title match? Why not get Shawn Michaels out of a referee’s uniform and put him in a ring…? Why not give the Heart – Break – Kid another chance t’kick Chris Jericho’s teeth back down his throat?
~A great reaction for this proposal
Now I don’ mean to upstage you, Mick. But if I step in that ring with Chris Jericho t’night – or ever again – the only thing I’ll want to do is take…his…head off.
~Michaels’ happy disposition disappears, as he becomes an intense man
So Matchmaker Mick, I know you’re good at givin’ folks exactly what they want. So give me what I want. Lemme show Chris Jericho just how worthy Shawn Michaels can be in an AOW World Championship match.
~The Hammerstein roars in approval as Foley lulls it over…
As much as I’d like to…I can’t quite just hand you a title match all willy-nilly, Shawn.
Rob Van Dam earned his shot last week. And as big a statement as you made last week, Shawn…I can’t just give you a title shot. But what I can do is get you a non-title one-on-one match with Chris Jericho.
~Michaels has a somewhat satisfied shrug
But…should you win that, Shawn…Matchmaker Mick won’t be able to deny you a title shot again.
~The crowd lets out one final pop as Michaels shows a grin and shares a handshake with Foley as the segment comes to an end.
“MAD MAN” begins to play as soon as we’re back from the commercial break following some ominous Arabic chanting, as oil tycoon and millionaire Muhammad Hassan comes down the ramp in competition attire. He’s wearing the same golden towel and golden tights he was wearing two weeks ago.
Folks, welcome to the third edition of AOW: Wednesday Night Oblivion. I’m Joey Styles alongside John “Bradshaw” Layfield and we’ve just heard some tremendous news concerning the future of Art of War Wrestling.
Tremendous doesn’t even begin to d’scribe what we just heard, Joey. A 2-hour edition of Oblivion, a tag title LADDER match next week, an’ a brand new main event?
That’s right, partner. Although all this comes following what appears to be an assault on Rob Van Dam backstage, and we will give you news on the condition of Rob Van Dam and all developments as the night goes on.
What the hell are you talkin’, Joey? How d’you know RVD was ‘assaulted’? The guy’s so reckless, he pro’ly just tried to sit ‘n a chair.
I’m sure that’s a possibility, John, but all those matches came from the mouth of the man Paul Heyman has appointed as our very first General Manager – the Hardcore Legend Mick Foley!
I respect Paul Heyman an’ I respect Mick Foley, but neither one of these guys know the first thing abou’ business.
Well Bradshaw, if we go under, you can go back to CNN.
I’m on Fox News, damnit!
All that goes on as Hassan slowly walks to ring, finally entering and grabbing a microphone…
In case you people have forgotten my name is Muhammad Hassan. And I am a changed man.
~Bit of buzz
The last time you people saw me, I was trying to convince you peasant Samaritans that I was on the same level as you. But after coming into a great deal of money, I realize that I’m so much better than you.
~A downpour of heat
You folks can boo and hiss at me all you want, but if want to know who you should be directing it towards, just look to your left and your right. It’s because of you that I have what I have and you folks had to shell out your paychecks just to get here on gas money.
~Even more heat
It’s funny, seeing as how everyone’s talking about ‘power’. The only person who has any type of power in this company is me. I could buy the Hammerstein three times if I wanted! I could kick all of you out of this place and turn it into a New York villa.
~Another barrage of heat
But then that…that would be no fun at all, now would it? No. I want every single one of you selfish, pious Americans to look at me, envy me, hate me, exactly the way you have for years. But it doesn’t matter because money…money has a way of changing people. I used to take it. But no more. I won’t rest until I spend every last cent making all of you regret the day you ever spread hate my way. I am Muhammad Hassan. And believe me – I am a changed man.
One final downpour of heat rains down on Mr. Hassan, as he sets down his mike and takes off his head towel before hearing “MACH”, as the unfamiliar face of Matt Sydal comes on through the curtain and down the ramp with a pretty big grin on his face, never having this kind of audience before. Sydal takes a second to take it all in before rushing to the ring to face his ‘changed’ opponent.
Sydal’s small stature has many writing him off at the onset, Hassan included. Hassan and Sydal walk towards the center ring, with Hassan giving Sydal a really cocky and creepy smile. Hassan gives him a couple of overconfident slaps to the head, taking the smile off Sydal’s face. Hassan takes his head back and laughs to the sky, while Sydal just gives a look of passive aggression. Hassan takes things even further when he sticks his palm to Sydal’s head, prompting him to try and hit him. Hassan continues to laugh, with Sydal sarcastically chuckling with him. Sydal then suddenly grabs hold onto Hassan’s arm, and uses it as leverage to nail Hassan on the side of the head with a summersault kick.
This surprises the hell out of Hassan, who goes stumbling, which Sydal follows up on by rebounding and hits Hassan with a running diving back elbow, which stunts Hassan even more. He falls but gets to his feet quickly, only to get hit by a Sydal dropkick that forces him into a corner. The high tempo has the crowd all on Sydal, who takes this momentum and rushes towards the corner-clad Hassan with a rushing shoulder block to the gut, which Sydal seamlessly flows through the middle ropes afterward. Hassan stumbles out of the corner holding his midsection, Sydal giving him no time to process his shock. He turns to see where Sydal is, but Sydal is already soaring through the air with double knees to Hassan’s chest. The crowd is on fire, as Sydal rolls on top of Hassan for the first cover – 1…2…3-NO!!!
Sydal doesn’t spend any time crying over spilt milk, as he rebounds off the ropes. Hassan gets to one knee on this, but on the rebound, is struck in the chest with a low level Sydal diving kick. Sydal tries another cover – 1…2…NO!!! Hassan doesn’t go down again! Hassan is still downed, however, as Sydal leaps to his feet and steps over Hassan before executing a flawless standing moonsault…that drives his knees into Hassan’s midsection!!! Sydal with another cover – 1..2…3-NO!!! Hassan stays strong!
Sydal, again, comes back strong by rebounding off the ropes again. Hassan is the one who surprises him this time, hitting Sydal with a clothesline that turns him inside out. Sydal goes flipping, with Hassan jumping onto him – 1…2…3-NO! Sydal’s got some heart! Hassan pulls Sydal to his feet before tucking his head into a front headlock and hitting a spinning lifting DDT onto Sydal. Hassan another cover – 1…2…-NO!! Sydal won’t go so! Hassan then drags Sydal over to a bottom rope, putting his weight all over the back of Sydal, choking the young cruiserweight. The referee is counting to five, to which Hassan eventually breaks in favor of a snap suplex.
Hassan forces Sydal to get to his feet yet again, this time setting him up for a reverse STO. Sydal, however, sees this move coming and starts to fight his way out with a few elbows to the side of the head. Sydal finally breaks free with a leaping kick to the jaw of the ‘mad man’. Sydal backs up a step and hits a leaping spinning back kick to Hassan’s face. This drops Hassan like a stone and gets the crowd on fire for Sydal again, who now ventures to the top rope. Sydal spreads his arms before leaping with…A SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!!! SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!! …Hassan moves!! Nobody home!! Sydal crashes and burns onto his ribs, with Hassan taking note. As Sydal gets back to his feet, Hassan grabs hold and nails the reverse STO, dubbed as the ‘American Made’. The impact spikes Sydal’s face into the canvas and leaves him limp, getting Hassan to shoot the half and cover again – 1…2…3…!
Winner: Muhammad Hassan at (6:01)
But Hassan isn’t done. That little bastard gave him much more trouble than he’d hoped for. With a raged look in his eye, he pushes away the referee trying to check on Sydal, brings Sydal to his feet and nails the Finishing Touch. The already deflated crowd delivers a myriad of heat now, but Hassan still isn’t finished. Hassan looks to make good on his promise to make Americans regret. He jumps on Sydal’s back and applies the Camel Clutch. Hassan showing a brutal side this match, but the crowd suddenly starts buzzing to life. Hassan doesn’t try to find out why, but he does anyway when CM Punk comes down the ramp and kicks him in his spine. The crowd roars as Hassan is forced off and goes scurrying away. Punk sees him out before tending to Sydal and making sure the mainstream newcomer is in good shape. He brings Matt to his feet before raising his hand to a solid pop and helping lead him out.
And CM Punk coming to the aide of Matt Sydal in very honorable fashion.
Honorable? You make me diabetic with how much you sugar coat, y’know that Joey?
What’s up with Muhammad Hassan? That attack as uncalled for, it was unprofessional –
Joey, a guy like Muhammad Hassan is hard to fig’re out. I don’t like him much, but I can’t deny that he just showed how much power he really has.
You can’t really condone something like that, can you John?
Well if you don’t like it Joey, you can blog an’ whine about it.
Well Hassan seems like someone you’d like, JBL.
Lemme tell you a little secret, Joey – no one with money likes anyone else with money.
~We head backstage now, where we’re met with the gorgeous face of Torrie Wilson in the Green Zone and a microphone…
Hi! I’m Torrie Wilson here in the AOW Green Zone here with uh…several guests at this time. With me are the men who will be competing in the first ever AOW Ladder match for the World Tag Team Championships – Shelton Benjamin, Charlie Haas, Paul London, and Brian Kendrick!
~A big pop for all four men, as both teams appear on opposite sides of Torrie
Gentlemen, I’m just looking for some thoughts from each of you on what exactly you’ll be expecting from each other next week for the tag team gold. You first, Paul.
Torrie, these guys are superbly gifted athletes. All I’m gonna expect from them is to do exactly what they’ve been doin’ to me and BK over here and that’s take us to the limit.
Man…you guys are pesky. I think you’re down, Haas thinks you’re down, we look down and you’re all over the place. You don’t go easy. So I don’t expect you guys to go easy next week, either.
I don’t think you guys’ll have to worry about us being everywhere. ‘cause the only place to go in a ladder match – is up.
Look, we can be here all buddy-buddy all we want. But next week, only one team can become champions. While the other – goes down.
~The ever present tension in the room seems to now take over all four men, as they do indeed go from smiling Willies to a group of men focused on their task come next week.
Well thank you gentlemen, and I wish you both luck come next week.
~The Hooliganz and the WGTT stare holes into one another across Wilson, who just now feels the tension and gets of the way. Neither team throws blows, but they continue to stare as we fade away…
We’re brought to what looks like a wrestling ring surrounded by shadows. Three different men soon enter before the lights go out around them when we hear a narrator…
The lights come back on where the three men have been joined by the shadowed and deathly looking stance of a giant 7-foot being…
And all shall fall…
The monster socks one man in the jaw, beheading him as though he were a plaster statue…
To the great might of…
A second man is caught in the chokeslam, slammed through the ring itself, as the final man is lifted in a military press and thrown to the floor and disintegrates into fine powder
…THE GREAT WRIGHT
Paul “The Great” Wright
Upon our return to the screen we’re met with Mick Foley in what appears to be an office setting. There’s no Heyman in sight, but as Foley turns around, he’s got a book in his hand. We can’t see what it’s about, but he takes a few steps forward where he meets Bryan Danielson.
You asked to see me, Mr. Foley?
Oh, please Bryan, call me Mick.
Um…you asked to see me Mick?
Oh, please Bryan, call me Jack.
Um…okay…you asked to see me Jack?
Oh, please Bryan, call me Dude.
Danielson: (Takes a second…)
Ooooohhh…haha…I see what you’re doin’.
Ah, just tryin’ to have a little fun, y’know, loosen up. It’s been all business tonight. I can’t work like that. Isn’t that right Mr. Socko?
~Foley holds his open boom in his other hand, the hand under the book comes to surface as indeed, the sock puppet himself Mr. Socko to a huge roar of approval. Foley makes Mr. Socko nod his ‘head’
Danielson: (Wise to the past, backs up a step)
Woh…hey there Mr. Socko…that’s not goin’ down my throat anytime soon, is it Mick?
You? No. I asked you here for a reason. The other half of that reason isn’t here yet, though…]~No sooner does Foley say this does the sound of his door opening and closing meet his ears. Both men (and Socko) turn to see none other than Rey Mysterio Jr
Hey, Mr. Foley. And Mr. Socko. And...Bryan Danielson? I’ve heard a lot about you, man.
~The two shake hands
Rey Mysterio? So great to finally meet the legend himself.
Good! Nice to see you two know each other. Before I get to you guy’s business…I hate to ask this, but do either of you know any kind of information about RVD getting taken down?
~Mysterio shakes his head, while Danielson, present at the scene earlier, just shrugs
Oh. Well then down to your business. Now guys –
~Foley takes out a pair of glasses before reading from his open book. We can’t read the words, but what we can see is the page has a picture of a yin-yang
See, here in AOW, we have a philosophy. Not just concerning wrestling, but how wrestling fits in to everything, not just war. I don’t know if you know anything about the yin-yang, but it personifies exactly what AOW is about. The yin meeting the yang and everything coming together. They’re not opposites, just other sides of the same story.
That’s very eh…eloquently put, Mick, but what does that have to do with us?
You forget another one of my alter egos is a best-selling writer, Mr. Danielson.
~A few chuckles
I wanna introduce a new kind of match. The yin represents the older generation. The yang represents the up-and-comers. That’s where you two come in. See, next week, I wanna have the first ever Yin v. Yang match in AOW. And it will be one of the captains of the cruiserweight revolution himself in Rey Mysterio Jr. going one on one with the future of the cruiserweights and wrestling in general…Bryan Danielson.
~This gets a HUGE pop and smiles from both Mysterio and Danielson
Whaddya say, fellas?
That sounds like a show stealer, Mick.
~Both men nod in agreement before shaking hands again, but the handshake is interrupted by static interrupting the segment. The static gets stronger and stronger until suddenly, the screen is consumed by nothing but static. It soon cuts back to the same small room we saw last week, with the same home video camera set up from last week as well. And just like last week, Gregory Helms’ face soon jumps into the frame.
Gregory Helms: (Seemingly stupefied)
So wait…does no one listen to Gregory Helms? Do the divine words of Gregory Helms fall on deaf ears? Obviously, they must, but I need to be heard. That’s why Mick Foley, Rey Mysterio, and Bryan Danielson – you’ve just been hacked by Helms.
~Helms adjusts the camera for a second. Crowd reactions seem to have been cut out in this segment
See…last week, I told the reasons why I was the very best in the world. The best cruiserweight wrestler on the face of the planet. I should be the one facing Rey Mysterio next week! I should be the one takin’ down one era and buildin’ up a new one! But no. I’m completely ignored in favor of some guy no one’s ever heard of. I, the great Gregory Helms, who held a cruiserweight championship for over a year, am being ignored and glanced over.
~Helms shakes his head angrily
Rest assured, AOW Oblivion – Gregory Helms will no longer be ignored.
~Back at ringside…
An already huge night on Oblivion, and already two HUGE matches scheduled for next week now! We’ve got a ladder match for the Tag Team Championships and now we’ve got Bryan Danielson and Rey Mysterio Jr. facing off for the first time ever! And all this is a few weeks before our first 2-hour show!
So you’re excited about a small, skinny guy facin’ a smaller, skinner guy?
How can you say that, Bradshaw? Rey Mysterio is one of the greatest competitors in all of wrestling, not just cruiserweight wrestling. You should know firsthand, Bradshaw.
So what? Rey Mysterio is one of the best in the ring. Is that what you want me t’say? Fine. I said it. And see this is why Mick Foley is terrible for AOW. He completely overlooked the REAL ‘Best in the World’, Gregory Helms, and put in this Danielson dweeb who has yet to prove himself to anyone outside of a high school gym with fifty people watching him! This is the big leagues, an’ believe me Joey, this is no place for a rodeo clown.
JBL’s ranting is cut off when we hear “I AM THE FUTURE”, followed by some nifty guitar riffs before Ken Doane comes through the blood-red curtain. Doane has a very cocky heir about him, his aura reeking of overconfidence. Kenny’s look goes from this to sheer annoyance when a front row fan throws a pair of pom-poms into his face. Doane acts as though it never happened, despite the crowd now laughing at him.
The laughter soon fades into pops of anticipation, as the Godzilla horn is sounded before we hear “MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT”, as Samoa Joe comes down, towel clad, to a very solid reaction. Joe does indeed look like he wants to freakin’ kill someone. Very faint “JOE’S GONNA KILL YOU” chants start, but don’t last too long. Joe’s demeanor is that he’s obviously gonna direct his anger towards Finlay right at Kenny.
Doane is very cautious of his larger and dangerous opponent, putting some space between the two. Joe, the machine he is, rushes towards Doane to immediately close the gap, but Doane cowers by going between the ropes, forcing the referee to back away from Kenny. Joe doesn’t let up, however, as he pulls on Doane’s ankle and drags him away from the ropes center ring. Doane crawls on his belly away from Joe even still, however. Again, Joe is not gonna let up that easily. As Kenny tries to crawl away, Joe swings hard with a kick that misses decapitating Doane by a hair. Doane crawls all the way outside the ring to re-thing this, as Joe is being incredibly aggressive. And even here, Doane isn’t safe, as Joe spins and rushes towards the ropes, leaping through them and nailing the elbow suicida!!
Kenny really has nowhere to run in this match, even though he’s been trying to get away the whole time. Joe recovers before Kenny does, right in front of the commentating table. Joe takes a chair and sets it up near a barricade, taking Kenny and forcing him to sit down in the chair, kicking him square in the chest with a stiff kick. Kenny reels in pain, as Joe steps several feet away from Kenny. He gets ready and set before taking Kenny’s face off with the Ole Kick! Wow! The crowd didn’t have much time to chant with the move, but nonetheless, Joe is in complete control, as he rolls Kenny back into the ring.
As Joe comes through the ropes, Kenny is still alert and kicks Joe in the skull, stunting him for a second. This gives Kenny enough time to ambush Joe with a hangman’s neckbreaker, twisting the big body of Joe around. Doane quickly covers Joe – 1…2…NO!! Joe rolls completely over after getting his shoulder up, but Kenny is again quick to jump on Joe with a grounded front headlock. He keeps this on Joe for several seconds, hoping to wear Joe down, but Joe gets to his feet after a while and unhooks the hold and brings Kenny over with a snapmare, followed by a low chop to the chest, a kick to the spine, and followed quickly by a knee drop. Joe gets his first fall of the match – 1…2…NO! Ken still has life.
Joe brings Kenny to his feet and tries to lock in some sort of standing submission, but before he can lock it in completely, Kenny stomps his heel on Joe’s foot, forcing him to let go what he couldn’t lock. Kenny uses this to rebound off the ropes, but on the rebound, Joe stiff kicks Kenny right in the midsection, doubling him over and onto all fours. Joe takes the blown Kenny and promptly powerbombs him…then transitions it into a half Boston crab!
The submissions have begun from the Machine, as Kenny is squirming a bit and trying to find his way towards the ropes. He moves an inch or so before Joe transitions the crab into a STF! He’s not letting Kenny escape! Kenny is forced to saddle with the weight of Joe, still trying to drag himself towards the ropes. The STF is locked in tight for several seconds, but Kenny is inching towards the ropes, when Joe suddenly transitions it into a crossface!!! Crossface!!! Kenny knows the hold and what it can do, and thrashes wildly before finally grabbing hold of the ropes. The referee is forced to make Joe break the hold, which Joe holds onto the count of four.
Kenny scrambles into a corner, while Joe keeps on him like a rabid dog. Kenny manages to lift a boot to Joe’s face that sends him back a few steps. Kenny tries to capitalize on this by bursting from the corner with a hard clothesline…but Joe’s completely unphased. Joe just looks at Kenny with no change in expression before chopping Kenny like mad into some ropes. He whips Kenny into the opposite ropes, but Kenny ducks under a clothesline attempt, but on the next rebound, Kenny attempts to throw his knees into Joe’s chest. Joe, without flinching, catches Kenny and uses this to hoist him onto the top rope and sets Kenny up for the MUSCLE BUSTER!!! KENNY IS DEAD!!! But Joe doesn’t want to stop there. Almost as soon as Kenny touches down, the Machine quickly locks in The Clutch, the rear naked choke making Kenny fade rapidly. Doane barely has enough in him to tap the canvas in submission.
Winner: Samoa Joe at (7:43)
~The scene almost immediately cuts backstage where we can see Finlay taking a peek at a TV screen in the locker room area. We quickly cut back to ringside…
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Samoa Joe is considered one of the must see talents in all of AOW. He’s got the size, the power, the prowess, and he works like a machine. The Samoan Submission Machine, at that.
It’s very rare that I agree with you Joey, but I will say that it would be an absolute surprise if this man is not AOW Champion by the end of th’ year. The real travesty is why Paul Heyman would send his biggest prospect in Ken Doane to be fed to this monster of a man. It’s beyond me.
Well John, you may not agree with most of Foley or Heyman’s decisions are, you have to think that they’re for the best.
The best is sittin’ here on the announce table, Joey. There’s a man at this commentator table who knows what to do better than those two twits.
Why thank you, John! So flattering.
Do I have to threat’n to slap you upside the head on a weekly basis…?
Well what about Finlay? Samoa Joe’s rage isn’t even targeted towards Kenny. It’s directed at the man who may have cost him the AOW World title two weeks ago in Dave Finlay.
Joe can throw all the hissy fits he wants, but he’d better be careful what he wishes for. Finlay is the most no-nonsense guy I’ve ever seen in my life.
He may have found his match in Samoa Joe, if that’s the case, John. Well, we may not know if Joe and Finlay will ever lock horns, but what we can do is update you on the condition of Rob Van Dam from earlier in the program. For those who did not see, RVD, who was in a scheduled title match tonight, was found…well…like this.
A quick flashback to the beginning of the program, with RVD lying in the rubble in extreme agony.
We have been notified that Van Dam will was not able to compete for the remainder of the evening, but the question also arises who caused this. Whether that is answered tonight is another mystery, but what isn’t a mystery is our main event this evening.
Mick Foley has made the best ‘f a bad situation with this one, but it’s a doosey.
That’s right – on the other side of the break, AOW World Heavyweight Champion will go face to face with the man who kicked him down to size last week in Shawn Michaels. This non-title matchup is next!
We’re brought back to the real world from that video segment, where we do see the devil himself in Christian Cage. He gets a rain of heat but he’s seen entering a locker room door, evidently waiting for someone. When a big, black mass passes by him, he stops him. We see this man to be Bobby Lashley, but Lash isn’t really pleased to see Christian.
We see a clip of Christian from the pilot episode of Oblivion
“We don’t know why you’re here…but we don’t like you…”
We hear the audio from Christian asking Lashley a question last week…
“Why. .are. .you. .here…?”
We chime back to Christian on the first show…
“We don’t want you…”
In the background, we can hear the previous statement echoing…
“Why. .are. .you. .here…?”
A flash to last week’s main event, with Rob Van Dam taking on Bobby Lashley. The two hit a sort of climax before Christian walks out and demands that Lashley answer him…
“Why. .are. .you. .here…?”
This echoes yet again, as RVD and Van Dam get into it with words
“I’m on your side, Rob!”
“No one agrees with you dude…get over yourself…”
The match is approaching its close, when Lashley spears Christian in half, enabling Van Dam to get the win. We then see Van Dam say –
“Don’t do for us. Do for you”
Before Christian grabs a chair and jumps into the ring, words echoing in rapid, overlapping fashion…
“Why. .are. .you. .here…?
“We don’t want you here…”
“…now you know”
“If you didn’t know…”
“Why. .are. .you. .here…?”
Christian raises the chair to hit Lashley…
“Why. .are. .you. .here…?”
RVD catches the chair and the two wrestle for it for a second before Christian comes away with it and bashes RVD across the skull, seemingly accidentally…
“If you didn’t know…”
Christian walks away in a bit of a daze, a looked of glazed confusion befalling him as he’s pelted with garbage…
“If you didn’t know…”
A close up, slow motion frame of Christian’s shocked face, the echo now muffled, almost to a creepy, deranged whisper…
Look, Bobs…I know I’m not the man you wanted to see right now. But I need to set the record straight.
You’d better start fast.
Look, I’ve been completely misunderstood the last few weeks. I never said I didn’t want you here –
No, but you did say it’d be great if I were gone.
Not the point, Bobs. The point is I never let you get your point across. And I know I’ve been a Class A prick to you since you’ve been here. But I just wanna put it all behind us and ask you – man to man – why, Bobby Lashley, are you here.
Fine. I’m here because where I was didn’t have the best. Now Christian, I don’t know if you know this, but you become the best by competing with the best. I came here to compete with guys like Rob Van Dam, Chris Jericho, and Shawn Michaels. Those guys are the best. But you, Christian? You’re nowhere near their levels. I’m not here for you.
~Christian legitimately seems hurt by this
But maybe…maybe you’re here for Rob Van Dam, too. I mean, after clockin’ him in the head with a chair last week, maybe you wanted to finish the job this week…?
I try to make peace with you, and you accuse me of that?
I don’t know, Christian. Van Dam said some pretty strong things to you last week. About how you really need to get over yourself. About how no one is agreeing with what you’re saying. About –
~A dead silence…
…you’re alone, Christian. All alone. So why are you here. .?
~Lashley exits the frame, leaving Christian to dwell in those comments. Between what RVD said last week and this, Christian’s face tells the story of possibly anguish with himself…?
~We cut back to Mick Foley’s surroundings, although this time he’s talking with Torrie Wilson on the set of the Green Zone. The two seem to be conversing pleasantly when Samoa Joe bursts into the frame, fresh with some sweat.
Mick Foley. The Hardcore Legend himself. What did ol’ Heartbreak call you earlier…Matchmaker? Well ‘Matchmaker Mickey’, I’ve got a match you can make right now.
I can at least hear you out, Joe. Nice display put on, by the way.
That wasn’t for show. Paul Heyman couldn’t give me what I wanted. So maybe you can. I want Finlay in a ring, one-on-one with me.
Well, Joe, I’ll see what I can do. No guarantees.
~Joe begins to walk away with still an angry look in his eye, getting no different result than he did with Heyman. But as he turns to go, he’s met face to face with the very man he wants – Finlay
So you wanna face me in a ring, do ya Joe?
No. I wanna beat the hell outta you. Next week.
~A pop of approval from New York
Hm…well, tough luck. Oi’ve already got a match next week. And it ain’t against you.
You sure about that? You think the fact that you already have a match next week is gonna stop the fact that I want to beat you down? I mean, last week, you were already eliminated from the match, but that didn’t stop you from eliminating me, did it?
In case you didn’t know, I love ta fight. So bring it, Joe. I want you ta come after me. I’ll be waitin’ for ya, boy.
~Finlay walks off, with Joe staring a hole through him as he does so. Joe eventually walks in the opposite direction, showing us that Foley and Torrie were watching the whole thing. Just as Foley turns to talk to Torrie again, he’s met with the bitter face of AOW World Champion Chris Jericho. Y2J stands speechless, just staring at Foley
So this is Paul Heyman’s ‘cavalry’…? A pathetic, perverted, has-been stuntman?
Chris Jericho! Another old face. You’re already doin’ good for yourself, eh Chris?
Y’know…I would be doing a lot better if I didn’t have a match tonight against someone who I’ve already presented evidence against that is incredibly unworthy to even be in my presence, much less face me.
~A deal of heat
Look, Chris – I’m not gonna play favorites, okay?
Not playing favorites, huh? So how in the world did Shawn Michaels magically conjure up a match tonight with me?
Well, Chris, how about you let out any conflict you have with Shawn Michaels in that ring in a few minutes. Because if you don’t do what I say, Chris. .that title you’re so proud of can disappear as quickly as it got there.
~Pop for Foley, like Heyman, putting his foot down on Chris Jericho
By the way, Chris…you wouldn’t happen to know anything about the guy who was gonna challenge you for that world title winding up beaten, do you?
I am a worthy and honest man, Foley. I would never indulge in such atrocities. But to answer your question, yes. I do know something about it.
Well then who did –
~Foley is cut off by Jericho…somewhat suspiciously
Listen closely, Foley. I don’t care how much power you have. .you are a hypocrite. Paul Heyman is a hypocrite. Shawn Michaels is a hypocrite. The only honest and worthy man in this entire company is holding its greatest prize. Now I will be the worthy champion and do the right thing by sucking all this up and go out there tonight and make Shawn Michaels submit to me yet again.
~Jericho flicks something off the collar of Foley’s flannel
Hm…so you’re Heyman’s heavy hitting ‘cavalry’…? Just know, Foley that Chris Jericho is always one…step…ahead.
~This last statement gets a great deal of heat, as Jericho gets closer with every word to Foley’s face. He eventually stops and leaves, his match time approaching.
~Back at ringside…
“SEXY BOY” roars over the speakers for the second time tonight, as Shawn Michaels comes down the ramp, as energized as ever to get his chance to go toe to toe with the AOW World Champion and maybe, just maybe, weasel his way into the title picture.
“BREAK DOWN THE WALLS”, this remake done by Fozzy, roars now, as pyro sets off for AOW World Champion Chris Jericho. Jericho’s nose is high in the air as he walks to the ring, as even his stride is telling us that he thinks we’re all unworthy. The crowd lets Jericho hear their ‘unworthy’ beats of heat. He doesn’t look happy at all to know Michaels is across from him.
AOW World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho v. Shawn Michaels
Jericho hands off his title with the same unhappy expression, it having never changed since stepping into the ring. As soon as the bell goes, Michaels begins circling Jericho aggressively, while Jericho is just walking around the ring, not even looking at Michaels. Michaels attempts a quick strike, rushing at him, but Jericho slips under the bottom rope to the outside to a great deal of heat. Jericho still hasn’t even looked in Michaels’ direction now, aimlessly walking around the outside while the referee begins a count.
Jericho slides back in, still not looking at HBK. Michaels is really getting the sense that Jericho thinks he’s really that superior to HBK that he won’t even look at him. Michaels looks to take advantage with a school boy roll up – 1…2…NO!!! Jericho throws his legs up!! Jericho uses his momentum out of the kickout to roll outside the ring again, setting off actually fighting Michaels even longer. Jericho is holding the back of his neck now, as the crowd is starting to get really annoyed, as is Michaels. As the referee reaches a count of 5, Jericho rolls back in, still not looking at Michaels. HBK has had enough, and lunges at Jericho wildly…but Jericho lowers the top rope!!! Michaels goes soaring over, all the way to the floor!!! Jericho lets out a smirk before lounging in a corner and finally looking at Michaels’ downed body.
HBK is able to crawl back into the ring at a count of 6, with Jericho glaring a hole in him. When Michaels is fully back in, he gets jump by Jericho, who drives knee after knee into his back, potentially setting up yet another Walls attempt. As Michaels gets to his feet, Jericho stays cheap and tries a school boy of his own – 1…2…NO!!! Michaels too throws his legs up! But as Michaels throws the legs up, Jericho grabs them and tries to flip Michaels onto his stomach for the Walls of Jericho…but Michaels resists and flips Jericho over!!! Jericho goes tumbling away, all the way near some ropes, but as soon as he gets to a vertical recover, he gets NAILED BY SWEET CHIN MUSIC!!! SWEET CHIN MUSIC!! Jericho goes down, but he’s very wary and falls between the ropes he’s near, heading straight to the floor from the superkick.
The crowd is pumped from that very early finishing sequence, and Michaels is even grinning to himself, but Jericho is not amused in the slightest. He raises his head, face scowling, rubbing his chin in pain. Jericho’s scowl goes to sheer frustration it seems, as Jericho is quick to get to his feet and walk around to the timekeeper’s table, grabbing his title, and begins to stride towards the entrance ramp. The crowd is delivering a huge amount of heat to his, and Michaels is throwing his hands up. Jericho doesn’t seem to care, however, as his head is high, title on his shoulder, and walks up the ramp aimed for the locker room.
…but he doesn’t quite make it there. As he reaches the stage, Michaels runs him down and chunks him into the titanium frame of the entrance stage before forcing him to go back down the ramp by following him with blow after blow. Punching Jericho’s way all the way back to the ring, Michaels then whips Jericho into some nearby ring steps, displacing them, but getting Jericho’s back to be as damaged as Michaels’ is. This prompts Michaels to finally chunk Jericho back under the ropes, fed up with Jericho’s games. Michaels pounds on Jericho once he’s in the ring, with Jericho struggling to get to his feet. When he finally does, Michaels whips Jericho into the ropes, but on the rebound, Jericho ducks under a clothesline attempt, springboarding off the ropes, and surprising Michaels with the triangle dropkick!!!
This surprises everyone, even Jericho. Michaels is downed, but as Jericho goes over to stomp his back out some more, Michaels is quick to sock Jericho in the face with several right hands, backing the worthy champion away. Jericho stays close as Michaels gets fully to his feet and backs him away even more with a knife edge CHOP(Woooooo!) that sends Jericho reeling. Another hard CHOP(Wooooooo!) sends Jericho all the way back into the ropes, which Michaels whips Jericho across the ropes again. On the rebound this time, Michaels returns the surprising favor with a nifty spinebuster!!! Michaels holds onto the legs of Jericho as he goes down, flipping over Jericho with the jackknife cover – 1…2…NO!!!
Jericho grapples Michaels around his waist and bridges himself up, turning the hold around into a backslide cover – 1…2…3…NO!!! Michaels rolls back to escape the cover, using it to get to his feet, as Jericho steps up but Michaels is cocked back and loaded SWEET CHIN MUSIC…FEINT!! Michaels pulls the leg back at the last minute because Jericho has cowered out of the way, having been hit with that superkick one time too many as of late. Jericho is outside the ring yet again. Jericho seems to be heading back up the ramp to the back, but when the referee asks where he’s going Jericho just replies “I’m getting my belt, ingrate!”, using the paper thin excuse of getting his title he dropped earlier on the ramp. Jericho takes his sweet time picking the title up and kissing it before walking with it back towards the ring and handing it back to the timekeeper as though it were a newborn child.
Jericho then actually does roll back into the ring, but Michaels is again looking to give him no breathing room, taking Jericho and dropping him on his family jewels with the inverted atomic drop!!! Michaels is then quick to scoop up Jericho and drop with the scoop slam, before getting charged up and getting the crowd pumped with him. They know where he’s going. Michaels climbs through the ropes and ascends to the top rope, looking for the diving elbow drop…JERICHO GETS THE KNEES UP!! The knees of Jericho go driving into Michaels’ elbow and ribs, causing him to fall back. Jericho rises with a seething look in his eye, dragging Michaels away and covering – 1…2…NO!!!
Michaels isn’t going down so easily, but Jericho doesn’t give up so easily, either. Jericho starts stomping like a psychopath on Michaels’ back, before kicking him square in the head and getting close to him –
“YOU ARE BENEATH ME, MICHAELS!!! YOU WILL SUBMIT TO ME AGAIN!!!”
Once Jericho’s gotten that off his chest, he grabs Michaels legs and starts turning him over…WALLS OF JERICHO!!! WALLS OF JERICHO LOCKED IN!!! Michaels is on the receiving end of yet another Walls of Jericho!!! Does he have what it takes to survive this time? Will he submit to Chris Jericho yet again? Michaels is crawling towards the corner…edging…reaching…but Jericho pulls him back towards the center!! Jericho looks to want to put his weight back for that Liontamer Walls of Jericho, but Michaels is keen to this, even in his pain, and sees this as a chance to use this change of weight to help roll forward and roll Jericho up yet again! 1…2…3…NO!!! Jericho scampers out, and scampers out of the ring!! He goes back over to the timekeeper and grabs his title, pissed beyond reasonable belief, frustrated that he couldn’t get Michaels to submit to him again. Jericho hissy fits back up the ramp…but he stops halfway before looking back into the ring…with a smile on his face. The hell is Jericho smiling at…?
The crowd is abuzz as Michaels tries to get to his feet, gripping his back, but falls upon attempting. Even so, Michaels has to look up and see what everyone’s buzzing for…and it’s not Jericho smiling…it’s the seven foot tall monster coming down the ramp. The commentators immediately recognize this as Paul “The Great” Wright, the man we’ve heard of only in legend so far. The man formerly known as the Big Show is coming down the ramp with his fists taped in a huge, black hooded vest. The crowd is buzzing in awe, with Jericho’s grin never fading. Michaels is in great pain, but is stuck in awe as well at the gargantuan man approaching him. Wright steps over the top rope into the ring, with the referee approaching him and telling him he can’t be here. A close-up reveals the referee visibly and audibly GULPS. The referee then hauls ass and leaves the ring. The simple stare of this man is enough.
Wright is staring at Michaels with pure intensity, who has since retreated to using the ropes to get to his feet. Wright takes his first steps towards Michaels, but Michaels springs forth WITH SWEET CHIN MUSIC!!! SWEET CHIN MUSIC!!! SWEET CHIN MUSIC TO THE BIG MAN…BUT HE DOESN’T EVEN FLINCH. Wright just takes one step back on the impact, but simply brings his chin back down to stare Michaels in the face, striking pure fear into the heart of the Heart Break one. Michaels face simply says “are you shittin’ me?” before it gets STRUCK WITH THE WRECKING BALL THAT IS THE FIST OF PAUL WRIGHT. Michaels’ hair and neck whips violently on the impact of the punch, causing the referee outside the ring to ring the bell.
Winner via DQ: Shawn Michaels at (15:31)
Michaels drops like a stone, but he drops forward, supported only by the leg of Paul Wright right now. Michaels mouth is agape, drooling and barley conscious. Wright doesn’t like where he is. He grabs the already dead Michaels by the throat and hoists him into the air…CHOKESLAM!!! CHOKESLAM!!! If Michaels wasn’t already dead, he certainty is now, with Jericho finally coming back into the ring.
…I’m…I’m in utter shock…oh. .oh my God…
This…my God…Shawn Michaels can’t be alive…
Ladies and gentlemen…this monster…this Paul “The Great” Wright…I think we may have just found out who took out Rob Van Dam…
I’m in disbelief, Joey…in all my years in this bus’ness, I have never seen something as sick’ningly dominating as what I just witnessed…
This giant appears to be at the beck and call of Chris Jericho…what carnage…unbelievable…
Jericho’s grin almost looks psychotic now, but still incredibly confident. The closing shot we have of the third edition of Oblivion is that of Shawn Michaels decimated, Paul Wright standing tall behind Chris Jericho, and Chris Jericho stooped over the downed body of Shawn Michaels, title in hand, with the closing words…
.:Confirmed for Next Week:.
Rey Mysterio v. Bryan Danielson
~To crown the FIRST EVER AOW World Tag Team Champions~
The World’s Greatest Tag Team v. The Hooliganz
Tried to get this up Monday, but I guess early Tuesday works too. I think I tried to do too much, but I'll let you guys decide for that. Anything's appreciated, fellas